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ITT: Each poster adds to the story. Theme: Worf Finds Love by Homn - Thu, 27 Jul 2017 05:51:03 EST ID:nI8eKW1Y No.60343 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Captain. I'm growing concerned that the Catullan Ambassador and their entourage are not exactly the best guests. They refuse to use the sonic showers and their incessant singing keeps the whole deck on which they are situated awake
>>
Admiral Patrick - Thu, 27 Jul 2017 08:14:52 EST ID:MUJ4M6tq No.60345 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Yes I know Mr. Worf, Beverly has been impossible to deal with because of sleep deprivation.

But they are diplomats and must be treated as such.
Perhaps we can distract them by sharing some of our own culture. How about teaching them some Klingon Opera Mr Worf?

Worf: *mild shock*
>>
Administrator V'Las - Thu, 27 Jul 2017 11:34:57 EST ID:KN9lUNxQ No.60346 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>60345
"Captain, I respect your faith in Klingon Opera, but if they were to dishonor it I would have to avenge my people!"
>>
Grand Nagus Smeet - Thu, 27 Jul 2017 15:33:55 EST ID:ykiJhCGY No.60349 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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They can all can go die on Eden for all I care
>>
Tiron - Thu, 27 Jul 2017 18:42:20 EST ID:SfiMcBo4 No.60350 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>60349
To reduce my people to hippies would be most dishonorable!
>>
Seamus - Thu, 27 Jul 2017 20:53:31 EST ID:bJmPxLMM No.60351 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>60350
Hippies. Members of a counterculture movement originating in North America, originally loosely based on the teachings of Sadhu Hinduism. They were most prevalent during the 1960s, specifically in 1967 in a movement coined "The Summer of Love".

It occurs to me that the behavior of the Catullan Ambassador and his entourage emulate this culture in their mannerisms.

Do you think you could benefit from adopting hippy culture, Mr. Worf?
>>
Guinan - Fri, 28 Jul 2017 01:29:06 EST ID:GygX1Icc No.60356 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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*communicator beeps*

Captain, this is Guinan, word travels fast in a ship this size and I know you have a problem.. Cattulans. And Cattulans have a problem. Once they start drinking they don't stop until they pass out. And through the replicators they have an endless supply of synthehol. Synthehol is designed not to allow the drinker to get drunk enough to pass out.

There's only one solution, Captain. I'm afraid we may have to open cargo cannister 420- alpha. These Cattulans will carry on like this until we reach Starbase 23 unless we get them some real alcohol.
>>
Lt. Cmdr. Jack Crusher - Fri, 28 Jul 2017 13:15:33 EST ID:WtzPIgUa No.60371 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>60356
--cut to engineering, everyone else is trying their best to look really busy --
Anyone want to try this holoprogram Reg sent me from the Delta Quadrant? He keeps insisting I use it and you know how he is. He won't give up, I've gotta go sometime.

Anyone?

*Sigh*

I know, I know. Who wants to go to a 500 year old Irish village?
>>
B-4 (Data's Retarded Brother) - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 03:20:44 EST ID:GygX1Icc No.60458 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>60371
GEORDEEEE I WANT TO HOLODECK PLS

CAN I GO?
CAN I GO?
CAN I GO?
CAN I GO?

PLEEEEEEAAASSSSSEEEEE
>>
Quark - Fri, 04 Aug 2017 01:58:05 EST ID:GygX1Icc No.60472 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>60458
(Geordi lets out a pained and heavy sigh of resignation and defeat)
>>
Admiral Nechayev - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 05:23:31 EST ID:Rjwhi0U8 No.60504 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Captain, may I speak with you? As you know, the Catullans are natural empaths, and alcohol greatly enhances their abilities... I don't think it would be wise to follow through with Guinan's plan and give them real alcohol. The results can be... disastrous. I'm already sensing their synthehol intoxication because I'm an empath, but if they get drunk on real alcohol, their mental state could be projected onto and affect even non-telepaths.
>>
Jean-Luc "four lights" Picard - Wed, 09 Aug 2017 01:33:28 EST ID:GygX1Icc No.60532 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>60504
Hmm.. peculiar. I've not known Guinan to be deceptive, least of all to me. But she spent time in the Cattulan homeworld. Surely, she would be aware of this.

Do you sense anything unusual? An alien presence?
>>
Janice Rand - Wed, 09 Aug 2017 02:00:24 EST ID:ykiJhCGY No.60533 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>60532
Captain, starboard sensor arrays are detecting subspace gravitonic particle waves coming from.. Ten Forward sir. It appears the Catullans have discovered the ships stores of Talaxian OG Kush. Sir, if they continue to smoke the ships store of cannabis the Catullans empathic abilities may begin to effect the crew in unpredictable ways.
>>
B'Etor - Wed, 09 Aug 2017 05:22:44 EST ID:MUJ4M6tq No.60535 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>60533
Captain, I believe it prudent to inoculate the crew with at least 6 marijuanas. I have taken the liberty of securing a crate of Romulan brick weed for this purpose. I know it's not up to Starfleet standards but it'll have to do given the circumstances.

I was hoping Wesley could help us with the treatment but I haven't seen him anywhere. He's probably in the transporter room hanging out with that O'Brien fella again. I really don't understand why that man is so interested in my young boy.
>>
Grand Nagus Smeet - Wed, 09 Aug 2017 23:58:25 EST ID:eVlDljHR No.60543 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>60535
I'm right here mom. I was just posting pictures of Gowron on 1701chan.
>>
Guinan - Thu, 10 Aug 2017 09:28:31 EST ID:GygX1Icc No.60551 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>60535
Make it so.

>>60543
SHUT UP WESLEY!
>>
Guinan - Thu, 10 Aug 2017 09:29:31 EST ID:GygX1Icc No.60552 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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.
>>
Tongo Rad - Thu, 10 Aug 2017 15:51:45 EST ID:eVlDljHR No.60559 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>60535
*As the Catullans' begin to grow more intoxicated from the combination of synthehol and Talaxian Kush, their singing begins to travel telepathically throughout the ship*
[sound clip of effect] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w_CvRGD3sY
>>
Lt. Cmdr. Dexter Remmick - Fri, 11 Aug 2017 14:56:50 EST ID:L6JbTdXo No.60570 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>60559
>The music is giving some crew members disturbing hallucinations and feelings

O'Brien to sickbay. I'm afraid the inoculation didn't work on me, requesting sedation before I.... Just hurry up alright!
>>
Guinan - Sun, 13 Aug 2017 01:13:59 EST ID:GygX1Icc No.60596 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>The music continues

Make it STAAAHHP!
>>
Tuvok - Sun, 13 Aug 2017 08:36:58 EST ID:6C6kcMFd No.60604 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>60598
>Not cutting to that shot of Picard in a bathrobe

Missed oppertunity, really.
>>
Guinan - Wed, 11 Oct 2017 21:48:56 EST ID:ZWCmUD5w No.61686 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>Worf yells out in agony...
>>
Guinan - Wed, 11 Oct 2017 21:51:05 EST ID:ZWCmUD5w No.61687 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61686
>..but his pained cries turn to triumphant and jubilant cries of victory
Q'PLA!
>Worf begins to sing along off key with the wrong words
>>
Cmdr. Peter Harkins - Wed, 11 Oct 2017 22:01:27 EST ID:nuPPHgen No.61688 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61687
>Geordie joins in.
>Worf is not amused.
>>
DaiMon Bok - Thu, 12 Oct 2017 12:02:47 EST ID:6IvnJUCS No.61695 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61688
>enraged, Geordie shoots the warp core
>the Enterprise explodes
>everyone dies
>>
William T Riker - Thu, 12 Oct 2017 12:17:54 EST ID:sSFJOtkF No.61696 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61695
Meanwhile, on Cardassia...
>>
Cmdr. Peter Harkins - Thu, 12 Oct 2017 12:19:16 EST ID:nuPPHgen No.61697 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61695
>End Holodeck Simulation
>Worf, tired from his holodeck adventure heads to Ten Forward to hunt for some pooty-tang.
>>
Nurse Alyssa Ogawa - Sun, 15 Oct 2017 09:02:50 EST ID:EaHyHH3K No.61748 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61697
>Things worked out better than expected, until O'Brien walked in...
>>
Travis Mayweather - Sun, 15 Oct 2017 11:11:29 EST ID:nuPPHgen No.61749 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61748
>"This is not how I wanted to see some Koor'etk T'wop!" shouted Worf.
>Suddenly Picard walks in with....
>>
Harry Kim - Sun, 15 Oct 2017 12:17:37 EST ID:pGShpeO+ No.61750 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61749
>Suddenly Picard walks in with a nice shirt
>He points to worf and says...
>>
Guinan - Sun, 15 Oct 2017 18:38:09 EST ID:+9j2XxyM No.61757 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61750
>Picard points to worf and says...
>"I love you, Mr. Worf. I've always loved you. Don't tell Beverly."
>a tear begins to form in the klingon warrior's eye..
>he tears the slimy baby Molly Obrien from her acursed witch mother's loins
>the baby takes a breath of air for the first time
>"Q'PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
>Worf suddenly and unexpectedly kicks the child like a football into the arboretum
>Dramatic music plays and the camera fades to a commercial break, zooming in on Picard's shocked face
>>
Nurse Alyssa Ogawa - Sun, 15 Oct 2017 19:08:04 EST ID:EaHyHH3K No.61758 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61757
>Buy the new Apple qPad! It comes pre-installed with Discord!
>>
Subaltern Lorot - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 01:09:53 EST ID:nuPPHgen No.61769 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61758
>Fade in on Worf's face. Pull back to reveal Worf's new pimp suit with which he plans to attract some Klingon klundge....
>>
Weyoun 5 - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 20:30:34 EST ID:6IvnJUCS No.61786 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61769
>the Klingon Klunge is TOO attracted, and it blows up the Enterprise in its Klunginess
>everyone dies
>>
Dexter Remmick - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 21:11:15 EST ID:X8QwX0Gd No.61787 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>61786
You aren't making this easy, Weyoun 5. Maybe it's time for Weyoun 6 to come along...
>>
Dr. Mizan - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 21:31:42 EST ID:EaHyHH3K No.61788 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61786
>Picard is transported into a void of nothingness.
>From the glaring white emptiness, a familiar figure appears.
>"What fine mess have you gotten yourself into this time, El Capitan?"
>>
Penk - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 22:45:19 EST ID:Yh6G81l6 No.61789 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61788
"Q! What the HELL have you done this time?!"

"Meeee? Mon Capitan, I had nothing to do with this. There is an invention in your past, the Internet I believe you called it. It seeemmmss some of the people on this "internet" have discovered the Q's ability to experience time as a whole. It was they who destroyed your ship Captain Picard. It was....420chan!"
>>
Weyoun 5 - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 23:32:06 EST ID:6IvnJUCS No.61790 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61789
>Q looks down on the panel in the armest of the captain's chair
>'Ooh what does this button do?'
>presses it
>Enterprise explodes
>everyone dies
>>
Captain Solok - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 23:44:18 EST ID:vMPpT1Y4 No.61791 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61790
>Picard awakens at his desk
"My God... even Q is affected by this insanity. Four Twenty Chan... it seems to be driven by violent non-sequitorial and smells of primitive cannabinoid cultures. It must be our perpetual birth and rebirth in fantastical scenarios is some sort of game to this... reefer madness. Well the line's drawn here! I will save my crew... and blow up Four Twenty Chan... or die trying forever!"
>>
Guinan - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 04:14:24 EST ID:+9j2XxyM No.61797 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>61791
>Riker awakens suddenly from a fevered dream of the Enterprise-D exploding over and over again..
>It is over 23 years after the Enterprise experienced a temporal anomaly in which they encountered Frasier, who years later took part in a battle against a Borg cube with his retrofitted old starship and won.
>Maybe it was his memory of that time loop that had stirred a nightmare in him, he thought.. He got his bearings and reminded himself. He was Admiral Will Riker of the USS Titan, a Galaxy-X class recreation of the Enterprise-D, with similar paneling and layouts of major rooms and structures, even though starfleet's styles had changed over the years.
>Outside his window, the ship blasted through transwarp. "Strange, that dream had seemed so real"
>Suddenly Riker remembered about Picard's experience with the Devron system anomaly, and suddenly Riker wasn't as sure about who he really was. Was he the dreamer.. or was his life the dream?
>Mad thoughts began slipping into the corpulent mind of Admiral Riker.. suddenly he couldn't remember if he was WILL Riker or THOMAS Riker.. could it be possible he was both?
>Riker tried to remember.. he knew the Enterprise-D had been destroyed when his wife tried to drive it. Luckily it had been insured.
>His confusion between fantasy or reality threatens to overcome him, but Riker tries to focus
>"Computer, what is the time?"
>"0420"
>Dramatic music plays and Riker looks confused, shocked and surprised


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