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penis pump

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WHAT IT IS by Nikita Koloff - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 00:06:52 EST ID:ZZo5SsIu No.4396251 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I'm not from north america and I heard that people there used to say "what it is" as a rhetorical question instead of "what is up" or "what up". Do people not say it anymore? I don't want to live in this gay earth if this is not a thing anymore. "What it is" is so adorable; I'm going to start using it in my hipster circlejerk.

What are the things that the cool kids say these days?
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Urbain Le Verrier - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 06:56:06 EST ID:wVNhX9vo No.4396335 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I know that people in the year 3000 say "axe" as in "let me axe you a question" but I've noticed people around here saying "arks". Language is cool.
Daniel Chickenchoke - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 06:59:26 EST ID:HLM3FqO9 No.4396337 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What is so, my boiii
Amy Finley - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 09:23:15 EST ID:Xal85p2k No.4396404 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Wud it do brutha
Wassup homes
Wus crackin son
Whats the word dawg
Wachu sayin mane
What's good homie
What's poppin cuz
ThomasPessletidge.nlm - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 12:48:17 EST ID:a13kPvIR No.4396532 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yeah people used to say it pretty commonly, but not so much anymore. I'll say it sometimes amongst my circle of friends, but only when I've grown tired of the usual greetings. Most people around where I live say "what's good" or just "wassup"

GTA by Lex Luger - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 07:26:12 EST ID:l1pl0kVq No.4395898 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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whats happening in this picture?
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Vincent la Chapelle - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 10:12:44 EST ID:ZR42SMXP No.4396463 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>then people like you magnify them even more

How so? I only commented because someone was saying that personality type doesnt exist. I prefer not to talk about those people in conversation.
Kyle Gass - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 10:35:06 EST ID:0iJW2Bs0 No.4396469 Ignore Report Quick Reply
you bring up the worst of the worst every chance you get, making it seem like the lot of them are like that. you keep reminding everyone of the extremist shit, kinda like how people conflate your average muslim with islamic extremists. it's really not that bad, but people like you keep trying to make it seem like it is.
Vincent la Chapelle - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 11:08:18 EST ID:ZR42SMXP No.4396480 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Im not trying to say all people of that age or who are in school are like that, Im just saying the demographic exists. Even in my first response I said you can just ignore them though. Its not at all like saying all muslims are terrorists. Its like saying terrorism within Islam exists.

and the people I knew were stereotypically bad. Like shut off Blazing Saddles and rant about sexism and racism bad. They are the minority but they do exist.
Karen Jarrett - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 12:21:12 EST ID:Xpjfhf/P No.4396516 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Clearly is a picture of a man on a rooftop putting down cars that will in the future run down pedestrians. He's doing the work of the gods by saving lives and taking out vicious cars.

chubby girls by Amy Finley - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 11:42:28 EST ID:Xal85p2k No.4396494 Locked Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hot or not?
Thread has been locked
Thread was locked by: Spardot
Reason: /sa also AAYYEYRGFwwsokwekf
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Artist Cyril - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 11:51:35 EST ID:WZJTNOdL No.4396504 Ignore Report Quick Reply
That's not chubby, that's fat. Chubby is just a softer version of an hour glass figure. that chick is lumpy.
Walter Turveyham - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 12:07:45 EST ID:tSs4hXWu No.4396510 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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The amount of projection in this post amazes me nb
ThomasPessletidge.nlm - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 12:14:04 EST ID:a13kPvIR No.4396513 Ignore Report Quick Reply
In general, sometimes.
This one, hell no.
She ain't man the harpoons, but she is too big for me to want to fuck her sober
Karen Jarrett - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 12:16:09 EST ID:Xpjfhf/P No.4396514 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I feel like that picture is beyond chubby and straight into fat territory. chubby is fine but fat is just plain wrong.

lol by Tycho Brahe - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 09:05:21 EST ID:2qpQ70Ep No.4395929 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Here is a subway comerical that reached xbox kid levels of luls

I initially thought it was some sort of parody.

I'm glad to know Greeg of house harkonen is keeping me safe.
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Sudden McLovin - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 03:30:25 EST ID:4DfuEwF/ No.4396300 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Alex Guarnaschelli - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 07:52:52 EST ID:Kq1xriGK No.4396348 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>snitches get stitches ya fuckin punk thats whats real fuckin bitch its on the bloc faggot
Mavis Fudgecurl - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 08:39:57 EST ID:btZXxYW4 No.4396360 Ignore Report Quick Reply
There is not enough context
What does "where they shouldn't be" mean?
Were they on a roof? In the sky? Parked inside a grocery store?
Brandon Vera - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 09:38:39 EST ID:3+snSYRf No.4396429 Ignore Report Quick Reply
It's intentionally vague and subjective.

I guess nypd wants to be swamped with people believing something is out of the ordinary and calling them

Think about someone in East Asia...... by Bernard Loiseau - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 16:39:00 EST ID:GBKBpHwU No.4396095 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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What is he doing? My asian dude is like analyzing personal smartphone usage of 50-100 people and he somehow has access to their phones and changes them in a way he thinks will best serve the person. I call him uncle Chan and I envy his job.
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Alabaster Abernather - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 00:22:24 EST ID:br54m7Q+ No.4396264 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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My Asian guy is the public face of a tech startup he and his childhood friends founded after college, but the technology is the other guys' passion and he's kind of just letting them drag him along, he does his best to try to reign in their ideas to what would be marketable but he worries that he's gotten himself over his head, his family has disowned him for turning down the salaryman job they offered him on graduation and he's up to his neck in loans, not all legitimate. To cope with the stress he frequents crossdressing maid cafe's but he doesn't want to become known as a regular in case it might damage his future so he's constantly trying out new ones.

Because of this he thinks he's his own man and a free spirit but he's not willing to really embrace his own life and has one foot in his friend's do it yourself live how you want world and one foot in his family's corporate honour based conformist society.

You'll pull through Asian man! Be who you want to be!
Veteran Nell - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 00:37:04 EST ID:E/WmldO3 No.4396269 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I am an east asian, born and raised here.
Thick McRunfast - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 00:38:01 EST ID:cAA6QheU No.4396271 Ignore Report Quick Reply

now I'm sad
Amy Finley - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 09:29:47 EST ID:Xal85p2k No.4396415 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Is that michael jackson?

ifoundthisonthefuture.webm by Lingering Hotwaggle - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 21:16:34 EST ID:nSsFns5X No.4396195 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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am i cancer now?
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Mark Hunto - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 08:15:14 EST ID:dC1mYiqX No.4396355 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Minion meme about prayer
Prosper Montagné - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 08:16:37 EST ID:yDWZZ//n No.4396356 Ignore Report Quick Reply
It was a minion.
Artemis Croakinsmack - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 09:11:33 EST ID:ZmTOiu4D No.4396386 Ignore Report Quick Reply
what the fuck is with all the fucking the future threads here lately? chrischan, the what do you live in thread, hurrr wimminz copy pasta thread, etc.
Divayth Fyr - Tue, 26 Jul 2016 16:35:24 EST ID:Nx16DN10 No.4396764 Ignore Report Quick Reply
We're sandwiching minions now?

The truth about modern times by Sokoudjou - Sat, 23 Jul 2016 20:08:23 EST ID:hxDuu6Q0 No.4395675 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Women believe ANYTHING they hear in the social sphere they grow up in.

About the changed nature of women:
From having to watch over others constantly since the beginning of humanity, they became selfless. Because they were so close to all the needs and wants of their people, they developed the instinct to trust them absolutely and a true understanding of their people was taken for granted.
When they were relieved of many responsibilities to their people by the 'modernization' of society the trait of selflessness became hollow and so turned to nothing but self-unawareness, leaving the instinct to implicitly trust their social sphere intact to be turned to purposes other than what made it to begin with.

Considering the addition of 'the media' to the general social sphere, with all of its inherent falsehoods, the women go absolutely crazy. Literally insane; completely turned against their own nature.
Their nurturing instincts are used to nurture the interests of the upper classes as handed down from the media rather than those of the actual people they see and interact with every day, even their own children.
Instead of being warm with compassion they are cold with judgements calculated from the information they are brainwashed with.

So it is that women are the primary tool of the upper classes to control us all, because men will do anything for their women. So it is that love is turned against us and the very foundation of our existence is betrayed.

This is the great vulnerability in the mind of the human that is exploited to make civilization by slavery.

Men and women were never much different in their minds. Now even our men are being feminized so they too can be exploited and used to exploit in this way.
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
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Fucking McFuck - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 05:12:29 EST ID:iec4jLsH No.4395868 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Haven't I seen this one on here before? Fucking copypaste trolls man nb
Naomi Hunter - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 00:58:59 EST ID:cT3RWHmm No.4396275 Ignore Report Quick Reply
good post, this board is retarded
Andrei Tarkovsky - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 07:33:16 EST ID:tAfcVI31 No.4396344 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Gul Evek - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 08:06:56 EST ID:2kA0lHXk No.4396353 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yeah, it's fucking cancerchan copypasta: http://thebarchive.com/b/thread/691054911

Brie by Arnold Schwarzenegger - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 08:29:34 EST ID:EFNmPK7M No.4395918 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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What does /b/ think of Brie Larsen?
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John Bahcall - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 14:12:12 EST ID:HGwITWea No.4396061 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Brie Larson's great, but I'd like her sister Milaine Desaulniers in for the ride too, get a real The Shining vibe going if they both wore something like OP's pic.

Sadly can't find an adult pic of her to share.
Barnaby Worthingshaw - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:17:11 EST ID:a13kPvIR No.4396157 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Her haircut sucks. That dress is not flattering on her. She looks like she has a rectangular shaped body and her nasolabial folds are far too prominent to convey any illusion of youth. Would still bang
Amy Finley - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 21:04:03 EST ID:Xal85p2k No.4396192 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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What does /b/ think of Lars Briesen?
Naomi Hunter - Mon, 25 Jul 2016 00:57:49 EST ID:cT3RWHmm No.4396274 Ignore Report Quick Reply
looks like Droob Arimoore

what does b think of this interesting image lol by Efrain Escudero - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:44:33 EST ID:ibXabiXd No.4396174 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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ThomasPessletidge.nlm - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 22:06:17 EST ID:a13kPvIR No.4396216 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>notebook nobles
Anyone gaming on a notebook is doing it way way wrong

>steam machines
I don't know a single person who owns one, or even knows someone with something good to say about them. If anything, they're below the console peasants. They paid pc gaming prices for (sometimes almost) console gaming performance
Ruin Maniac Clara - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 22:21:20 EST ID:D0dil4Fv No.4396223 Ignore Report Quick Reply
hahahaahahah fuckign lol
Greg Saunier - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 22:35:03 EST ID:9aNBELgr No.4396227 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Here are the appropriate rankings with justification.

  1. P Gives the user the most control over his or her gaming experience. Gives the user the most precise input (kb&m). Allows for upgrades as time goes on. Allows the user to quarantine malware (Windows) on his or her machine and install a proper OS for every other task.

2. Console: Consistent performance. Every user has the same machine and thus the same advantage on multi-player games. Can't upgrade but machine lasts about 6 years. Guaranteed to run every game that you buy or want to buy.

3. Mac: You wanted a computer but you paid extra for the same kind of privacy invasion and proprietary experience that Windows provides. Fewer titles available. You're a sucker for slick ads and hype. Nigga you played yourself

4. Mobile: Nothing seriously quality on here, just time killers. Market dominated by freemium and CoC clones. Anything worthwhile is just a mobile version of something that would be better on PC or Console anyway. Phone just overheats after any serious computational task. Nigga why you playing games while out anyway just pay attention to the world

5. Steam Machine: Ahaha what the fuck did you pay for. Literally no titles except indie games. The few major titles run slower than on OSX or Windows. Maybe you wanted to support Steam OS but why would you do this to yourself. You bought a PC that wants to be a console but doesn't have any games ahaha nigga get a refund
Nikita Koloff - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 22:50:31 EST ID:ZZo5SsIu No.4396236 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Even macs have more games than consoles if you count being able to emulate anything that came before 2005.

Maybe he isn't even a mac user. It is certain that you guys are console peasants though, the bad grammar makes it obvious.

degenerate ass shit by CharlotteGoodlock.lnk - Fri, 22 Jul 2016 18:33:28 EST ID:qXi92TyP No.4395206 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Do people avoid degenerate ass shit -- like, dunno, incestuous pedo necro bestiality -- because it is wrong or because normal people legit don`t like that stuff? Because almost every person I know is into at least one fucked up thing.
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Wesley Pubblenit - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 13:29:28 EST ID:cAA6QheU No.4396045 Ignore Report Quick Reply

any McDonalds employee caught giving out extra sauces free of charge is taken out back and beaten with a hose
Andy Serkis - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 13:46:44 EST ID:m0rZ49jY No.4396052 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Wisdom tempered with restraint. Go forth my son, masturbate with the moon and stars.
Pootie Tang - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:24:24 EST ID:d+vBNA4k No.4396158 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i dont it because its wrong, not because i dont like it. but not 2 people are attracted to the same thing. as someone else said, greek ancient pederasty, muslim child brides, japanese loli and shota all point that when it comes to race, theres cultural morality. i dont say that like "everyone likes children" but i said that in japan or a muslim countries, you'll have both people attracted to it and against it, but how they act up on it is culture bound.

as a quick example, here the age of consent is 14. i see girls that hardly look that age grinding out and making out with men in their 30's in public often. no one bates an eye. on the other hand, usa age of consent is 18, as a 19 year old you may be chaged and convicted from dating a 17 year old, and publically lapilated over it.

moral is relative. fetishes are personal. we all culturally bound without realicing it. its all very postmodernist.
Mila - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 21:46:12 EST ID:MWy+N/fZ No.4396204 Ignore Report Quick Reply
do you live in a latin american country? That sounds like stuff that happens there. And I think it's just swell. And the only reason we have that morality is because of protestant puritan prudes. Latin america and brazil has Catholics. They aren't as anti-sex or hating of the body. They WANT people to fuck. And get pregnant as young as possible to make new little catholic followers. it's a shame we weren't founded by overly sexual machismo latins. Imagine how better this country would be

tribute to the late Isopropyl alcohol faggot by Baby Cakes - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 14:52:57 EST ID:fmUhKMeG No.4396066 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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this reminded me of you
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Polly Fuckinggold - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:06:49 EST ID:XRUeIVwP No.4396152 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This is the whiny rich boy that couldn't get laid so he made a giant manifesto about how its women's fault for not just walking up to him and opening their legs, and then he murdered his roommates and went on a shooting spree in daddys mercedes.

Waste of water, oxygen and carbon.
Marley Hashington - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:12:02 EST ID:9aNBELgr No.4396153 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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But Polly, water is 33.3333% Oxygen, so wasn't that redundant? Also, it's a good idea to list things of the same type (i.e. with a common theme). Water is a compound and the other two are elements. It just doesn't fit the list.
Eugene Pushfock - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:33:23 EST ID:m0rZ49jY No.4396187 Ignore Report Quick Reply
"I think it's kicking in man."
"Why do you say that?"
"Cause your carpet is looking at me funny."
Mary Lovestain - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 21:11:59 EST ID:Rl9rxBLe No.4396194 Ignore Report Quick Reply
fuck that op you and iso guy are fucking faggots

fuckin slut by Wesley Blatherspear - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 05:27:15 EST ID:fNcZW1qr No.4395870 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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My name is

And I hate my sister
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Beatrice Bongerway - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:01:29 EST ID:D0dil4Fv No.4396149 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>posting a screencap from 5 years ago

go back to the future or kill urself, op
user igged nb
James Christy - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:39:52 EST ID:6SwWaQn1 No.4396173 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If there's grass near the wicket; play cricket.
Alice Challyten - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:12:16 EST ID:ibXabiXd No.4396181 Ignore Report Quick Reply
um chicks get mad horny in their late 30's through their 40's like uncontrollable debauchery... will do anything for the D believe me ive taken many to live out my unfulfilled kinks
Mary Lovestain - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:15:29 EST ID:Rl9rxBLe No.4396183 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Beatrice got triggered hard lol

Sympathy vs empathy vs compassion by Chen Kenichi - Sat, 23 Jul 2016 10:58:50 EST ID:RIJlCkXW No.4395421 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I feel bad for people who are suffering, and I don't like people suffering, but I don't want to become close to them and I won't do anything about it because if I'm being honest I don't really give a shit about anyone outside of a small group of people. I don't even care about my family very much.

What is the difference between these things?
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Painter Augustus - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 17:12:39 EST ID:DkcVkuKx No.4396105 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Are those Iranian girls from the 70s before American military adventurism fucked everything up for that region? It's such a nice country, pity things Americans don't like must suffer
Boss George - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 17:31:59 EST ID:cXB8UUqz No.4396119 Report Quick Reply

Compassion isn't pity. Compassion is feeling bad about a person's suffering and actively working to ease that suffering. Pity is feeling bad for them but doing nothing to help them.

Compassion is among the most honorable traits a person can have. Pity is a selfish, worthless thing to be looked down upon. Better to be indifferent towards suffering than simply paying lip service to those who are in pain.
Boss George - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 17:34:09 EST ID:cXB8UUqz No.4396123 Report Quick Reply

It was the Americans and the Russians. They wanted to wave their dicks around through proxy wars and political manipulation and as a result a progressive and secular region (Including Iraq, Afghanistan and Syria) in the Middle East was turned into a religious extremist playground that is now lashing out across the globe.
The Joker - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:07:26 EST ID:WYtr9/ms No.4396179 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Sympathy is faked empathy. However I think compassion is a just a fetish for compasses and compass-like scenarios.

wheels on the heels by Art Smith - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 18:02:45 EST ID:qS8pbwzy No.4396131 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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https://www.gofundme.com/2g6cn4c FUCK IT WHEELS EVERYWHERE
James Christy - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 18:05:49 EST ID:6SwWaQn1 No.4396133 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Campaign created 19 mins ago
fuck you, buy an ad you cheap toothole
Andy Serkis - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:24:56 EST ID:m0rZ49jY No.4396159 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Marcus Diarrhea - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:27:49 EST ID:aeNB/RgX No.4396163 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If I saw you on the corner begging on that caliber, I'd spit on your face.
Andy Serkis - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 19:30:32 EST ID:m0rZ49jY No.4396166 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Man Eater Miller is into that baby. Are you hairy and tough? If you are Drew might be paying you instead.

How the mighty fall by Georges St-Pierre - Sun, 17 Jul 2016 14:49:03 EST ID:yGewWLFN No.4392040 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Who do you think has had the mightiest fall from grace?
All may apply.
Pic related. Not the most dramatic when compared to Jimmy Savile but there's something so brilliantly wicked about how Rolf is now in Prison planning to release songs mocking his victims (or in his eyes unjust accusers) when he's out.

Not the best example to start off the thread because I picture yanks might have no clue who this guy is, but c'mon just post your own examples if you want discussion.
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INTERPOL !3mB4iDBpWw - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 12:41:05 EST ID:2aYg4oZo No.4396021 Report Quick Reply

Google images correctly identified him as a "person"
Andy Serkis - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 13:00:21 EST ID:m0rZ49jY No.4396030 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Bing correctly identified him as Rolf Harris. Google's censorship has completely ruined it.
Lord Grazel - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 15:26:04 EST ID:0hkwbte3 No.4396074 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Firstly, pretending he's George Lucas: meh joke.
Secondly, saying the new Star Wars movie is shit? I get that it's subjective- but seriously, Fuck You
MarthaDartfuck.psp - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 18:43:41 EST ID:MWy+N/fZ No.4396141 Ignore Report Quick Reply
see i told you 420chan. Google reverse image search is pure garbage now. THAT cute girl thread was useless. OP wouldn't give us her name and google failed me too

ON ALEX JONES: HONESTLY, WTF HAPPENED? by Captain Rudolph Ransom - Sat, 23 Jul 2016 12:15:42 EST ID:HrE7wpB0 No.4395455 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Was Alex Jones ALWAYS this level of a nut? I know he's always been insane, but it's hard not to notice how he used to seem like an unadulterated anti-government poster child, even going as far as to have a cameo in A Scanner Darkly (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EN_VBc98dzg) where he's doing what a street preacher of apocalypse conspiracies would do. I've now had 3 or 4 conversations with friends being like "Yeah, we always thought of him as the looniest variant of a far left leaning conspiracy loon, and now he's giving us every reason to believe he's peeled the skin back and actually become MORE insane by seemingly ditching all his past ideals in a strange pro-Trump shift. Am I missing a piece to the puzzle possibly? I know Trump constantly asks for "less government" involved in everyday things, but I feel like you need a hell of a lot of government in actuality to make those things even have a possibility of happening...
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Henderson Crumple - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 17:06:40 EST ID:zKL6rNQM No.4396102 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Jacob looks pretty old for a 7 year old.
Lorenzo Fertitta - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 18:10:45 EST ID:Xal85p2k No.4396135 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Yes but that's a TimeVault archive picture of him from the future, in 2032.

According to our files on him, in 2032 there is to be a major popcorn shortage due to corn blight causing starvation, rioting, civil unrest, and massive instability in much of the world, but especially the middle east, where an increasingly absurd turn of events stemming from debates on interpretations of Islamic theological writings 10 years prior, led to almost all food except popcorn to be declared haram to Muslims.

So when the blight hit the world's popcorn reserves, al-Qaeda, seeking a chance to become heroes and cement their power and glory amongst Muslims, kidnapped US president Pepe "Pepsi-n-Nachos" Natchez and as a ransom demanded what's left of the world's dwindling and precious popcorn reserves, but the USA, fearing for the collapse of the nation as violent protests already had begun outside of movie theaters after announcements of popcorn rations, could not afford to take such a risk.

As deliberations on the course of action by the Vice President and his staff continued, a man came forth with a proposal: Jacob Parnell was a pediatrician working to help malnourished Muslim children with nutritional deficiencies caused by eating only popcorn and water, he had been working to develop a food product made by chemically modifying soy and wheat extract, then extruding and air fluffing to mimic the sight and taste of popcorn while supplying all the essential amino acids and vitamins.

Due to a loophole in Islamic law, this wheat and soy based "popcorn" was also somehow considered halal, and Jacob Parnell managed to convince al-Qaeda leader Muhamad al-ibn-Al-ibn-Joe to try some of his popcorn, surprisingly they all loved it and believed it to taste even better than the real stuff, so Jacob patented his formula and founded the company Novapop, securing a government contact to mass produce tons of Novapop which was used to free President Nacho while simultaneously saving the whole Islamic world from starvation, saving the world from
World War VI, and becoming a billionaire himself in the process.

These events are from our timefile on Universe # 45779933939275401

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Sweet Tooth - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 18:14:26 EST ID:IIB7Fqh8 No.4396136 Ignore Report Quick Reply

oh fuck. they've found me. gotta go.
James Christy - Sun, 24 Jul 2016 18:16:53 EST ID:6SwWaQn1 No.4396137 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Jacob also developed a nuclear bomb that could be made from household garbage and spit. FUCK Jacob, that guy was a DICK. Seriously.

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