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What is expected of me in sex and relationships? by Charlotte Berringlodge - Fri, 29 Dec 2017 12:55:50 EST ID:HdTZQTOh No.404551 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Generally speaking, I've been avoiding sex for most of my life. Initially, it has been because I have had body dysphoria, but now it's because sex feels like it would just be work and not really knowing what I'm supposed to do or be for people.

Over the years, I've realized that no surgery is going to be able to provide me with adequate results and I eventually just started trying to be comfortable with what I have.
I don't think I'm particularly ugly or anything, but I do find myself feeling lonely often. When guys talk to me, they go straight to sex. When women talk to me, I feel a pressure to present myself as non-sexual.

I tried PiV sex once and it mostly just hurt and I felt like I was being used.

My body is really sensitive and I can be and it's hard for me to maintain a clear state of mind if someone starts touching me.

If I were to try to put myself out there more as a sexual person, what should I be expecting and what is typically acceptable (one night stands feel gross for me)?

Like... I don't think I could last long just trying to pump away at someone (either too much pain or exhaustion) unless I depersonalize, but then I would start wondering why I am even there since it's not enjoyable for me to objectify myself.

Do people expect trans women to want to use their penis like that? So far, with all the people who have talked to me, it feels like most everyone assumes I'm some super-experienced, down to fuck anytime kind of person when in actuality, I have probably had less sex than most people (less than 15 times ever).

I think my problem is that I want intimacy more than sex, but it feels like I only get offered to be used for sex and denied any chance at intimacy.
Is this how it is for everyone?

Should I be trying to figure out how to use my penis from a topping position or is that weird? Is depersonalizing yourself just part of what is expected if you have a penis and are trying to have sex?

What do I need to be to meet people's expectations and desires? Am I allowed to be anything other than a stereotype (and would being the stereotype actually result in anything good?)
Lydia Billingforth - Fri, 29 Dec 2017 18:55:18 EST ID:qvvMo5m0 No.404552 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You don't have to use your penis if you're not comfortable with it. The people that tell you that you should are not worth your time. The big problem is that trans girls are a fetish to a lot of people, and those people have certain expectations because of the porn they watch. They also expect trans women to both be absolute whores, and completely unfuckable to anyone that doesn't share that fetish so will get all pissy if you turn them down because of it as you "won't find anyone better".

I'm real fucking awkward when it comes to sex. I really hate what I have. I don't use it, I don't have it touched, I don't even remove my underwear. Even just having it brush against someone is enough for my head to shut down and for everything to become an immediate turn-off.
It took my ex a year and a half before they saw me naked, and that was only with the help of a healthy dose of MDMA.

It takes longer to explain to someone, to a lot of people it's not worth the effort just to have sex with me, but it's worth it for the sake of my personal comfort. Sex is supposed to be fun, and it can be fun, and while my ex kinda ruined me in so many ways, they allowed me to explore my sexuality at my own pace, and helped to figure out other ways I could feel good than purely my genitals.
Terminal - Sun, 31 Dec 2017 20:48:19 EST ID:Rbm/HrNV No.404553 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yo mate honestpy sex is only a big deal until you've had it a few times, I'd just concentrate more on finding a partner that's right for you, then let that person take the lead

No need to stress about it, much love and happy Hogmanay from scotlandp
Charles Duckbanks - Mon, 01 Jan 2018 01:39:16 EST ID:WQCIUv3D No.404555 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You sound autistic. I'm surprised you have even had sex at all
Wesley Shakestone - Thu, 11 Jan 2018 15:40:52 EST ID:f5+QyHOm No.404634 Ignore Report Quick Reply
less than 15, wow, so like 10 times you've had sex? that's pretty high girl.
John Gankinned - Sun, 14 Jan 2018 09:30:00 EST ID:FMbLOoxP No.404642 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Make love, not sex. That can be kissing and cuddling or rubbing or anything you want it to be. Do you want a partner or do you feel like you have to have one? If you want one, find someone who understands, maybe find someone with a low sex drive?What about someone asexual who wants a life-partner but not sex?

>they allowed me to explore my sexuality at my own pace, and helped to figure out other ways I could feel good than purely my genitals.

that sounds good! You can do this on your own terms, just decide what those terms are.
Basil Clullystodge - Mon, 15 Jan 2018 23:46:10 EST ID:I11qiGXD No.404654 Ignore Report Quick Reply
this person knows whats up, its just about finding the right partner and obviously sex is going to e part of ur relationships. You just have to comminicate what ur into. Like my last partner really wanted me to do him in his butt, so i did because its what he wanted.
Rebecca Sobbershit - Wed, 17 Jan 2018 15:35:10 EST ID:ImY/LGTn No.404670 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I sometimes take the role of big spoon and give a reacharound when my partner needs release. Buttseks can be gross and cause aids if you don't use protection.
My advise is to find a partner WHO YOU TRUST and be open with them while gradually experimenting. one thing you can do is go to a sex shop as a date and discuss things that you want to try in that controlled environment.
John Minnerbotch - Sat, 20 Jan 2018 02:30:36 EST ID:5xuivAA6 No.404685 Ignore Report Quick Reply
weirdly enough, bdsm dance parties (Sin city) is what did it for me. Cant remember the last time Ive been so comfortable with my sexuality, and thats coming from a rape survivor. Its such a controlled environment and you meet amazing people. Just do research on the one you go to first and make sure its lgbt friendly. Or dont if you dont want to. Im weird, so weird solutions are usually what works for me.
FaggotKitty - Sat, 20 Jan 2018 12:53:57 EST ID:UcAGfa+Z No.404689 Ignore Report Quick Reply
How about this question, is it possible to find a nice straight/bi who we could just relax and do what we think is enjoyable sexually without having to give a damn about a bunch of sterotypes controlling us. I just want a normal relationship like a normal girl. I enjoy touching my penis is that wrong? I mean its there and it feels good to touch it. Why does that have to only be desired by perverts who only see me as a piece of meat?
Charles Pocklebanks - Thu, 15 Feb 2018 14:02:51 EST ID:0a6++R8W No.404823 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Eh, such people certainly do exist. I'm a bi male and I try my best to approach anyone as they are - human beings, not some lump of set features etc.
Sometimes such people just live so far off that you'll probably not even find them, no matter how many rocks you checked under

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