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BWS 2 by William Bondlepeck - Wed, 01 Feb 2017 10:04:08 EST ID:9UI2BRSD No.28884 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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The last thread isn't bumping since it's beyond the post limit. So, time for a new thread.

How long have you been sober and what reasons do you have for quitting drug(s). For those who are completely sober from said drug or drugs, how has your life changed?

As for me, I've been on suboxone for a few days now. My outlook on life is becoming positive compared to when I was popping pills. I'm still smoking weed and that's the extent of my current drug use. Everyday gets easier and easier. I hope for the best and will put the time and the effort in to better myself as a person.
Beatrice Hickleson - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 05:33:37 EST ID:hYjF/TCb No.28885 Ignore Report Quick Reply
trying to get the fuck off my pregabalin prescription after a year of abusing it & a misfired attempt at medicating with it which wound up to the last three months taking 900-1200mg a day. brought it right back down to 200mg yesterday & i feel like death incarnate .
Polly Podgesedge - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 16:23:06 EST ID:sHanAbLq No.28886 Ignore Report Quick Reply
you might feel like shit now. But, when you're done your taper and are clean you'll thank yourself for sticking the WD out until you're better. Keep going foward no matter how hard things might get. If you want this bad enough you'll do whatever needs to be done. Good luck to you.
Fucking Nunningfuck - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 18:50:26 EST ID:FPg1lstc No.28887 Ignore Report Quick Reply
sober today cause test tmr

feels good mon ..taking blue skate fish oil and collodial gold. think im healthy for it

Stay Clean bros
Angus Honeyshaw - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 20:48:38 EST ID:VhzSFvRt No.28888 Ignore Report Quick Reply
16 days sober right now, feels good mane
Jarvis Clayhood - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 22:29:38 EST ID:yNLVQJOB No.28889 Ignore Report Quick Reply
keep it up! it gets easier as the days go by. this weekend will make it a week since i got on subs and started meditating again. feels good to know that you're doing something that will improve yourself and your life which in this case is sobriety. same thing with me. but, i plan on doing more than just get clean this year. make some goals for yourself and work your hardest to achieve them. you can do this.
Hannah Cleblingwater - Sat, 04 Feb 2017 11:41:46 EST ID:FjUhSqcG No.28891 Ignore Report Quick Reply
So today makes a week since I started my taper on suboxone. So far so good. As the days pass by I become someone with more willpower and resistance. I don't even think about taking opiates let alone become tempted by the thought. I have no cravings whatsoever. I bought two weeks worth of suboxone earlier this morning so I'm set for a while. I'll be all out on the 20th, the day my grandfather died which will be four years. I know he's looking down at me, proud of me for the person who I'm becoming. I will make him and my loved ones who are still here proud of me. I will show them the true person that I am on the inside, waiting to break out of my shell. I will "hatch" and spread my wings and fly. The more I meditate the more happier I become. So, I've been improving myself more than just getting off the opiates. I've also been reading self help books. The bottom line in any kind of self help book is to do the work. I'm already putting in the work to better myself as a person and be the best of a person that I can be.
Edwin Shakecocke - Tue, 07 Feb 2017 08:46:36 EST ID:Xyjw/nxQ No.28896 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP here.

It's been ten whole days since I got on suboxone. Everything just gets easier as the days pass by. I've been thinking a lot and I've had a lot time ponder on what I need to do first to get an important part of my life in order; get my GED so I can go to college and get my degree in whatever it is I want to pursue. I dropped out of school over ten years ago and I still have yet to get my GED. Well, I'm going to focus heavily on this so I can take the right steps to get to where I want to be out in the real world. But, first I'm going to focus on my taper and after I'm done tapering (which will be in April) is when I'll move onto that next step to get my life in order. I know I can do it because I want to be successful as bad as I want to breathe.
Frederick Heblingwill - Wed, 08 Feb 2017 21:03:40 EST ID:+2HVY6Dp No.28899 Ignore Report Quick Reply
this saturday will make 2 weeks since i started my taper off of opiates with suboxone. I'm feeling really good right now. everything in my life is finally starting to click together with my new sense of self. i took many things for granted back then if not just about everything in life. but, now i feel fortunate to have what i got in my life; health, family, a source of income, and a roof over my head. their are people who are poor and have nowhere to go. i never thought of the glass being half full rather than half empty. but, its the opposite now. I'm going to keep growing as a person to be the best of a person that i can be. i will become the person who I'm destined to become, the strongest version of myself. i will do whatever the fuck it takes to get to where i want to be. no doubt about that.
Jenny Hengerhall - Fri, 10 Feb 2017 09:27:47 EST ID:+2HVY6Dp No.28904 Ignore Report Quick Reply
tomorrow makes 2 weeks since i got on suboxone. I'm so proud of myself and my family is proud of me too. i will NEVER EVER touch another pill again after this. shit isn't worth it in the long run. it held me back from doing what i set out to do in my life. you only have once chance to live. fuck if I'm going to live my life an addict. i saw my father become consumed by alcohol and coke. he's all fucked up in the head because of it and his past. i will not turn out to be like him. fuck that! i will make a life for myself no matter what and stay sober (besides smoking weed) and thats all there is to it.
Martin Hengernetch - Sat, 11 Feb 2017 09:38:01 EST ID:iNlRtTOW No.28906 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Today makes two weeks baby! Fuck yeah!! I've come this far and theirs no way in hell im going back to pills ever again. The more days that pass by the better of a person I become. Loving life right now and I feel so positive all the time rather than when I was negative all the time back then. The feeling that's come over me... No drug can make you feel how I feel about life and myself. I will keep pushing and do whatever the fuck it takes to get to where I want to be in life.
Rebecca Besslestone - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 08:47:39 EST ID:iNlRtTOW No.28907 Ignore Report Quick Reply
17 days of being on suboxone. Can't believe I made this far. I'm truly happy and proud of myself of sticking with it for this long. I'm going to keep going until I am completely off opiates and clean. I have so much to gain and so little to lose in life. I'm looking forward to the days ahead to see the person who I am becoming more and more.

Today makes 11 years since I dropped out of highschool. I always think back and reflect on everything that I went through from then and all the way up to a year ago. I was a weak person inside and out. But, that's all starting to change with all the progress I'm making with what I'm aiming to achieve and conquer. Yeah, it was a huge mistake for me to drop out. But, it's not too late for me. I can still get my GED and go to school and get a degree in something that I want to do for the rest of my life. I realize now that if it wasn't for the hardships I went through I wouldn't be who I am today. In a weird way I am thankful for my past which I never thought I'd say.

I'm going back to the gym on Thursday and losing the rest of this weight. Going to start lifting again too which I'm really excited about. I'm just doing everything I can do at the moment to improve upon myself without doing too much at once and end up failing. I'm going to train hard like a motherfucker and set to where I want to be, inside of the gym and out.

Just you wait. I have this whole year to set out and do what I plan on accomplishing for myself. No more wasting time. Time to get serious.
Phoebe Broshgold - Fri, 17 Feb 2017 08:23:33 EST ID:n0YgNIoY No.28919 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Made it to the 20 day mark! Tomorrow makes three weeks since I got on suboxone. After next week I'm tapering down from 4mg suboxone to 2mg. As each day passes I get closer and closer to being sober from opiates. I cannot wait to be done with this. But, putting in the effort and work to taper off of opiates has made me grow as a person inside and out. It's like they say, "if you need to get something done you must do it yourself". I use to rely on my dealers for my fix and to keep my sanity. But, I don't need them anymore. I can finally stand on my own two feet and take care of myself more than I ever have.

Life is great. As time goes by everything keeps getting better for me. After 10 long grueling years of pain, torment and suffering, I have finally "awakened" from the abyss that I was trapped in. I will never look back and keep going foward no matter what gets in my way.
Beatrice Crebbleketch - Sat, 18 Feb 2017 10:38:55 EST ID:DUEYwDxB No.28923 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Today makes three weeks. Im proud of how far I've come even though I got a ways to go. Over the past three weeks my life has changed so much. I am forever grateful for my life and everything and everyone around me. The grass is always greener on the other side. I never once thought I could turn myself around because of how weak of a person I use to be. But, I sure as hell proved myself wrong. Their is still a lot of progress made with myself. But, progress is a process. I'm enjoying the journey and not thinking only of the end result. Everything is going great in my life and I'm going to keep pushing onwards no matter what gets in my way.
Edwin Socklehood - Sat, 18 Feb 2017 15:37:04 EST ID:qkneRXan No.28925 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Proud of you nigga
Ernest Crannermen - Sat, 18 Feb 2017 19:22:44 EST ID:DUEYwDxB No.28927 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Thanks bruh.
Nell Trotson - Sun, 19 Feb 2017 18:17:09 EST ID:GWGHGJza No.28930 Ignore Report Quick Reply

I'm finally ready to quit the liquor. I got out of detox a few days ago and I think sobriety is going to stick this time. I hurt someone who has only ever treated me with respect and kindness even though I was a drunk piece of shit.

I feel physically I'll when I see a liquor store now. Wish me luck.
Cornelius Crarrybanks - Sun, 19 Feb 2017 20:03:25 EST ID:yMp5L4Wt No.28931 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Good for you. Taking the first step to sobriety is always the hardest part. But, once you get started on that path things will get easier. Hang in there and keep your head up. Be positive and optimistic about yourself and getting clean. No matter how hard things might get, never give up. In the end it'll be all worth it. Good luck.
Wesley Blollyhood - Mon, 20 Feb 2017 08:49:23 EST ID:4m5DY39V No.28933 Ignore Report Quick Reply
It's been 23 days now. Can't wait for this week to go by so I can taper from 4mg to 2mg. As time goes on I keep getting closer and closer to becoming sober. Everything in my life is improving because I'm putting in the work to better myself. I am proud of myself and so is my family. They are so happy for me and it feels good to know that you're work and efforts are getting noticed and paying off. Hell yeah!
Matilda Wunderstick - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 10:42:59 EST ID:4m5DY39V No.28942 Ignore Report Quick Reply
It's been 25 days, almost a month now. My meditation sessions have been better than ever and it's helping me immensely. I feel so grounded and in control of my whole life. I will keep going down the path I started on over a year ago. All the hard effort and work I'm willing to put in to become happy and successful will be worth it. I will keep growing as a person, being the best of a person that I can be.
Polly Gibbletidging - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 08:37:06 EST ID:y8wkou78 No.28961 Ignore Report Quick Reply
It's been 27 days now. On Monday I will taper from 4mg to 2mg as it will be exactly a month since I got on suboxone. Then, I'll stay on 2mg for another month and then after that come completely off. I can't wait for that day to come. I'm gunning for it.

I saw an old friend of mine yesterday who I haven't talked to in a couple years. He's doing really good for himself which I am proud of him for. He really has his shit together now. It felt really good seeing him again and made me really happy. I'm going to keep in touch with him and see if he wants to hang out and do stuff whenever he has the time. To be honest, everything he was telling me in terms of school and his life in general; he really inspires me and motivates me even more to change as a person and forever grow to be the best of a person that I can be. This old friend of mine might see me as that weak person that I use to be. But, he's in for a surprise when he sees that I'm a changed person.
spoot - Fri, 24 Feb 2017 19:18:10 EST ID:NHQihj2w No.28962 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I'm coming up on 14 months without a drink and it's been a year since smoking reefer.

My last drink was the night I crashed into a tree on the way home from a bar. I know the community here isn't too religious but it was definitely a come to God moment for me. I was arrested for the fourth time (at the age of 23) and decided it was time to not try to stop drinking but actually do it. My family's the big driving factor for me; I was disgusted by how often I put them through worry and sadness over my drinking. I was also sick and tired of being sick and tired. The DTs sucked noodles but since then it's been the best year of my life, hands down.

Keep it up, faggots. It truly does get easier with time and your perception of reality will change for the better after you've given your brain some much needed rest. If I can do it, you can too.
Phoebe Lightcocke - Sat, 25 Feb 2017 04:35:06 EST ID:y8wkou78 No.28965 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Damn, good for you dude. 14 months is huge. Keep going!
Thomas Bunforth - Sun, 26 Feb 2017 09:31:20 EST ID:y8wkou78 No.28969 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 29. Tomorrow makes exactly a month since I started suboxone. Now, I will be tapering from 4mg-2mg and staying on that dose for a month and then coming completely off the subs. I'm one step closer to getting clean. I've come this far and I'm not going back. Never again.
Fuck Dipperfield - Sun, 26 Feb 2017 23:45:27 EST ID:jc33WSws No.28972 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Month and a half.
Fucking drug testing company is a subsidiary of a major company client. Nobody I work with, leadership included, is onboard with it, yet politically there's nothing we can do about it. Follow the money...
Alice Sullywitch - Mon, 27 Feb 2017 09:45:53 EST ID:y8wkou78 No.28974 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Today makes a whole month now. I am proud of myself and surprised that I made it this far. But, I'm stronger mentally and spiritually more than I ever have been. Tomorrow I'm going down to 2mg. I hope this lower dose works out well for me. I'm afraid to start having bouts of restless leg syndrome like I did last time when I only took 2mg daily. But, I think things will turn out well for me. I have all the faith in the world that I can do this successfully.

Meditation over the past week has been incredible. I'm so much different than I was a month ago. I've grown so much in such little time. I'm going to keep improving upon myself and make a life for myself. I know I can do anything as long as I put my mind to it.
Oliver Billingridge - Mon, 27 Feb 2017 17:39:23 EST ID:clkkIQvm No.28977 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Okay out of hash but feeling nice and clean headed this evening. I know smoking it can help me kotch and not get bored but it can also make me cringe about really minor things I wouldnt normally care about, or get into bad thought patterns.

Also Ive realised I need a detox from on screen violence its normalised by news, films and video games. I wake up and the first thing I see is stories of horrific shit. The other day I played Wolfenstein then binged on WW2 Nazi docs, shits unhealthy.
Skizzlepuss !dO744cvTW. - Tue, 28 Feb 2017 03:39:46 EST ID:zM4svPQ8 No.28980 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Coming up on 3 months without dxm. Feels good to be able to remember simple things again.
And knowing what day of the week it is.
Rebecca Breshbury - Tue, 28 Feb 2017 18:32:23 EST ID:y8wkou78 No.28983 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 31. Tapered down to 2mg today. No symptoms at all from taking a lower dose than I did before. Thank god. Now, i feel much better about being able to get sober and straight.

I'm in a good place in my life at the moment. I'm happy and fortunate for who and what I have in my life. With that said, I'm going to keep pushing foward and even after I'm off the suboxone I will keep improving upon myself.
Fucking Brookwell - Wed, 01 Mar 2017 13:07:04 EST ID:2adyeGqS No.28985 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Keep it up dude, glad to see the steady progress!

Personally I'm trying to not smoke weed, which gets pretty difficult when my roommate fucking loves smoking weed. Also I have 7-8 week old weed plants that I'd rather not just throw away. hopefully i can sell any weed that comes out of it to a friend or two for cheap just to recoup the costs for soil and pots. I'm so tired of all the internal bargaining that goes on every day in my head about whether or not I should smoke. I feel like i need to set up some kind of reward to give myself for not smoking, then maybe I would stop failing every time i try to quit.
Charles Guddletan - Wed, 01 Mar 2017 16:46:17 EST ID:y8wkou78 No.28986 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Thanks. I don't think I could ever go without weed. It's like my medicine for my mental illnesses. It really keeps me grounded and leveled out. But, since you're trying not to smoke then more power to you. Good luck.
Charles Guddletan - Wed, 01 Mar 2017 17:56:36 EST ID:y8wkou78 No.28987 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Along with tapering on suboxone, I'm quitting cigarettes very soon. My grandfather died of copd and my uncle has it and is on oxygen 24/7. I do not want to have the same fate as them and go out like that. I'm just slowly killing myself and it's going to stop.
Hamilton Bevingcocke - Thu, 02 Mar 2017 10:14:23 EST ID:y8wkou78 No.28989 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 33. Doing alright with being on 2mg despite having a tiny bit of RLS. Only lasts for a few minutes once a day and then it goes away.

Tomorrow I'm done with cigs and start vaping. I can't handle all the coughing and feel like I'm going to die. Not worth it. Your health is one of the most important things to take care of. So, no more of this.
Hamilton Neddledodging - Fri, 03 Mar 2017 15:55:38 EST ID:1N6qdxlD No.28992 Ignore Report Quick Reply
2 weeks no weed. I'm sweating like crazy and feel really depressed. Really want to stop for real this time though. Post nasal drip sucks. Coughing up bloody snot sucks. I'm scared of the nightmares.
Rebecca Shittingshaw - Fri, 03 Mar 2017 16:54:53 EST ID:y8wkou78 No.28993 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Good luck to you. I don't know if I could ever quit smoking. Weed keeps me grounded and leveled out. I use it for medicinal purposes and not just recreational. I would get mental side effects. But, no physical effects like you're going through. That must really suck. But, just keep plugging away and stay strong.
Cedric Sindlepog - Fri, 03 Mar 2017 20:41:15 EST ID:cfH+dw9t No.28994 Ignore Report Quick Reply
day 6 of no alcohol after almost 2 years of drinking every day. I drank 6-8 5% beers per night.

main reason I'm quitting alcohol is due to the fact I've become a fat slob almost gaining 40 pounds since I started my new job, along with the fact alcohol FUCKS your sleep up so much.

I'm not 100% sober because im still smoking weed, but the weed helped immensely those first 3 days of withdrawal. I smoked 1/2 an ounce in those 6 days but I finally am starting to feel normal.

I feel really good because I'm actually getting sleep and I don't get random anxiety for no reason like I used to. Also my random paranoia from smoking weed went away the day after I quit drinking. I realized I was perpetually hung over and malnourished the last 2 years.
Nigel Crozzlehedge - Sat, 04 Mar 2017 00:58:34 EST ID:y8wkou78 No.28995 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Best of luck to you. I honestly don't know how people can even become alcoholics. Drinking everyday and being hungover all the time really doesn't sound all that fun to me.
Walter Pinderwell - Sun, 05 Mar 2017 12:15:02 EST ID:OeOC/hvt No.28998 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 36. So, it's been about a week since I tapered down to 2mg of suboxone. No more rls even though it was very minor of a symptom for me. Been meditating as usual and I also quit smoking cigarettes 2 days ago and started vaping. I will not end up dying like my grandfather did and now my uncle has copd and is on oxygen 24/7. I'm giving this everything I've got and am putting in a major effort to stay away from cigs. Six months from now I want to be done with nicotine period; no more vaping or taking in nicotine in any way, shape or form.
Basil Drevingwater - Mon, 06 Mar 2017 07:24:16 EST ID:WVWO9Du4 No.29001 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Thanks bro/sis. It's getting a little easier. I just keep telling myself that I have to do this. I want to be healthy. I want to be strong. I want to spend all the fucking weed money on something "cooler", like a car or something.

I used to think that I could never/would never quit. But then I decided to go travelling a few weeks so no hookups etc. Also harsher weed laws. So that's my catalyst.

I used to delude myself with the medicinal thing, but now I think it's bullshit. You should be able to be grounded and leveled out without using drugs.

Also it really depends on how much you smoke. I smoked super heavily, probably 2-3g/day..
James Habblehood - Mon, 06 Mar 2017 08:38:15 EST ID:+Ze8wqG+ No.29002 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I would like to be able to quit smoking or just greatly cut back on it. But, right now I need it. But, I will eventually find a way to live without it or live without it for a few days or weeks in between smoking. I'd like to keep my time occupied so I don't think about it as much. I'm looking into taking GED classes later this year so I can take the test and then be able to go to college. That's just one thing that can occupy some of my time. Another thing I want to do is get a job. But, first I have to buy a car and get my license. Guess I better start saving up now.
Martha Fongerkitch - Tue, 07 Mar 2017 08:20:12 EST ID:+2HVY6Dp No.29007 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 38. Surprisingly had a craving for pills for the first time last night since being on subs. But, I overcame it and just moved on. Temptation sucks sometimes. But, I know in the end it's not worth it so I stay away from it mentally and physically. This shows me that I'm stronger as a person than I was 38 days ago. I've come a far away and I'm not going to fuck it all up by giving in to just taking pills for "one last time". We all know what happens when someone's does that; relapse. I've relapsed many times and I'm not going to do it again. I'm a much different person than who I used to be.
John Clidgebury - Wed, 08 Mar 2017 14:37:55 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29008 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Starting a program where they test for alcohol as well as other drugs. So now I'm totally sober and will be for 16 weeks. Previously was shitfaced but with no hard drugs.
Wish me luck. Cigarettes are still an option but a crappy one.
Hugh Dummertedge - Thu, 09 Mar 2017 07:46:33 EST ID:ZlHaA6fN No.29013 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 40. Damn, 40 full whole days has passed since I got on subs. I've come a far way since the first day. I should be done with my taper around the first week of May. After that I'll be completely sober (besides weed) and I'm not going to fall back into addiction. If I did then all the work I put in to get clean will have all been for nothing.

Two nights ago I slipped up and took 20mg methadone. I didn't even enjoy myself while on that shit for a few hours. It made me remember why I chose to get clean and all the problems it caused me and my family. Never again will I slip up or even relapse. But, I don't exactly regret doing it because it's apart of my recovery. This moment has reinforced my mind and has me more self aware than I was. They say when someone relapses or slips up while going through a taper or detox, that it's apart of your recovery. It happens to everyone atleast once. That's why I'm not stressing out about it. To me, it's just a life experience that I learned from. That will be the very last time that I do something like that.
Polly Hodgeshit - Fri, 10 Mar 2017 16:59:07 EST ID:ZlHaA6fN No.29015 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Day 41. Nothing much to say. But, day 45 will make it a month and a half since I got on subs. The days are just flying by and everything gets easier and better for me. Haven't had any cravings since Tuesday when I slipped up. That one last time has really reinforced my mind and my resistance and willpower to steer clear of that shit.

I started a diet a few days ago. So far I've lost 5lbs in three days. I got 50+lbs to lose and I'm going to give this everything I got.

I'm starting to feel "awakened" from within. My mind is so clear and sharpened. I'm starting to figure out what I want to do with my life; become a physical therapist or get involved in sports medicine. I want to be able to make a lot of money so I can help my mom out when she needs a helping hand. All my life she has struggled with money and still gave me what I wanted. She has been by my side through thick and thin. I want to return the favor by being a good son and make her happy. I will do anything for her and I'd go to the ends of the earth for her no matter what.
Frederick Pittfuck - Sun, 12 Mar 2017 14:08:23 EST ID:fE8f94aG No.29020 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 43. My life is becoming more positive and I feel the "light" embracing me. The glass is always half full and not empty. I never feel down on myself anymore like I use to. Back when I was abusing opiates I had no confidence or self esteem whatsoever. Now, it's the total opposite. I'm in a good place in my life.
Archie Gimblestone - Tue, 14 Mar 2017 13:58:46 EST ID:Wt1ihvRp No.29027 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 45. It's been a month and a half since I got on subs and decided to get clean and sober. I can't believe I've made it this far. I'm proud of myself and I'm going to keep pushing on until I'm done my taper and be off the suboxone. After that's all said and done I'm going to focus on getting my GED and go to college and pursue a degree in physical therapy or sports medicine. The human body and its functions amaze me and fascinates me. I'd easily go through six years of school without regretting it as I'm going to need grants/loans to pay for school. Don't want to change my major and have to pay back all that money that went to waste getting into a sector of the medical field. Besides all that, everything is going good.
Cedric Bardford - Wed, 15 Mar 2017 09:09:27 EST ID:Wt1ihvRp No.29030 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 46. Feeling good today. Nothing out of the ordinary. I'm just going to keep plugging away like I've been with everything in my life that I've been doing. My mind is completely clear now and no longer cloudy or foggy. The world seems so much different to me than what it use to look like before I got on subs. I'm starting to figure out what I want to do and achieve in life. I got high expectations for myself as I know I can keep getting better and better at what I do and focus on. Thank god or whoever or whatever for giving me a second chance at life. This time I will create, conquer, and what I aim to achieve no matter what what gets in my way.
Matilda Follerbury - Thu, 16 Mar 2017 11:50:54 EST ID:bysxsiSx No.29032 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 13 no dope
I feel okay. That's a big thing for me. I have energy. I forgot you could feel this way without taking opiates, or making the call to get some.
I feel like I'm coming out of a major depressive episode. I quit my job and physically could not get any drugs. Physical withdrawals didn't get me, I was pretty much always in the mild stages anyway. I felt very suicidal for about, 11 days. The smallest thing would spring me into full self-attack mode. It makes sense. Opiates make all of my problems disappear, so my problems are going to feel very real when I come off them. At least I couldn't have killed myself, because my preferred method would be OD and I could not get any dope for the life of me.

I just want to know when the dreams stop. I'm always hanging out with a dealer and they're about to give me drugs but keep jerking me around. Had one an hour ago where a guy I haven't talked to in months was gonna sell me some lean. I've never even had lean wtf.
John Fonningway - Thu, 16 Mar 2017 17:32:44 EST ID:Wt1ihvRp No.29033 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Great job so far dude! I never did dope, just pills. But, nonetheless it's good that you're motivated and determined to get clean and change your life for the better. The physical symptoms will eventually go away. Keep up the good work bro! It'll all pay off for you soon enough. Just take everything day by day, step by step. Progress is a process and you must enjoy the process, the journey. Keep going dude!
Polly Fenkinford - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 11:04:24 EST ID:bysxsiSx No.29037 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Thank you
I just can't believe I even started with this. I'm a part of the statistic of young people who got started on pills and jumped to heroin because it's cheaper. I tried it once to see what it's like and its all I did from that point.
It would be so easy to fall back into it. I see what people say about triggers and stuff. From getting money to being locked in a one person bathroom to struggling to open a little bag, I can almost taste it.
Skizzlepuss !dO744cvTW. - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 21:22:56 EST ID:zM4svPQ8 No.29042 Ignore Report Quick Reply
3 months without dxm, and counting.
I'd love nothing more than to down some robo and space to some music.
When do the cravings actually stop?
They get less intense each time, and they come less frequently now, but I'd love for them to go away entirely.
Shitting Medgedatch - Sat, 18 Mar 2017 11:13:44 EST ID:Wt1ihvRp No.29045 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 49. In the next week and a half I'll be tapering down to 1mg. Keep that up for a month and then come completely off. It's almost been two months since I got on subs. Awesome feeling to know that you can do something as long as you put your mind to it. I have no more cravings which is really good. It's all smooth sailing from here.
Sidney Hurringstit - Sat, 18 Mar 2017 14:43:22 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29046 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Been sober (no alcohol, weed, stimulants, dissociatives like MXE and DXM, mild opis like codeine and various psychedelic drugs like LSD and DOM) for 80 days now. Can't say that I like it one bit. Can't wait for rehab / probation to be over so I can start using again. However, I'm proud that I've had the willpower to abstain for now. I wish you all the best.
Shitting Medgedatch - Sat, 18 Mar 2017 17:37:16 EST ID:Wt1ihvRp No.29048 Ignore Report Quick Reply
That's almost three months. Damn you're farther along than I am. If I were you I would just stay sober (smoke weed erryday) and keep on going with making improvements in your life. You can do it brah!
Charles Dumblebury - Sat, 18 Mar 2017 20:39:00 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29049 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Thanks for the encouragement. You can make it, too!
Smoke weed errday
Isabella Sublinglen - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 13:11:53 EST ID:Wt1ihvRp No.29052 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 50. I'm just a little over a week away from being on subs for two months. But, today I will celebrate this 50 day milestone by being outside and be around nature and people. I'm just embracing everything that I can that will make a positive impact in my life. I'm happy that I've come so far. But, the most important thing is how I've changed as a person over this course of time. I no longer need pills to use as a crutch or excuse to ignore my problems from within. I have faced my problems head on and have won my battles within my mind. Meditation has immensely helped me become the person who I am today. I'm not that weak and scared little boy that I once was. I can finally stand on my own two feet and face the world head on. My mind is sharpened and awake. I'm no longer engulfed in the dark abyss that I once couldn't get out of. I'm a much more happy and positive person than who I use to be. I have so little to lose and yet so much to gain. I might be getting a late start in life. But, it's never too late for anything that you want out of life. I will become happy and successful. Most of all, I'll become the person who I'm destined to become.
John Gadgehall - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 13:34:59 EST ID:wAI8p3nf No.29053 Ignore Report Quick Reply
24h without smoking weed after toking errday for almost a year

I feel sad
Jack Dinninghall - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 18:19:02 EST ID:z0hReR5P No.29055 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Are you taking a t-break? I've been smoking everyday for two years and I'll never stop smoking.
Fanny Chibblenat - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 22:40:40 EST ID:LGE3Jr2b No.29056 Ignore Report Quick Reply

me too, just hit the 24 hour mark. it's 3:30 in the morning and I can't fall asleep even though I'm dead tired.
Have to take a break since I don't even enjoy getting high anymore. The last few weeks I just got really twitchy and anxious when I got high and my heart felt like it was going to stop at any second.
Fuck, the weed was the only thing keeping me away from alcohol and other drugs, I thought I would never get tired of weed.
Hugh Dunningpeck - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 04:14:07 EST ID:wAI8p3nf No.29057 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Nah, my lovely mother is staying for 2 weeks, which means I can't blaze the fuck up until my pockets are empty and my lungs collapse. Luv u mom, but damn, let yo boy get retarded. I mean shit....

>it's 3:30 in the morning and I can't fall asleep even though I'm dead tired
That's fucked up. It takes me a little longer to fall asleep when sober, but I don't get intense insomnia like you. My appetite is completely fucked up though. Yesterday I barely ate one full meal. It's frightening how little I eat when I am sober. Pass me a blunt and I'll eat a house, but I'm finna get malnourished when sober.

Good luck, man!
George Bardlock - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 09:39:18 EST ID:8un2hfIK No.29058 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 52. I have no more cravings for opiates. Slipped up a couple times and after the last time I promised myself that I would never do it again and haven't since. No longer need to use opiates as a crutch for my problems in my mind. I smoke weed and that's the extent of it. I'd rather be a daily smoker than a daily opiate user.

Happy spring everyone! We're all gonna make it!
Caroline Fupperbanks - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 14:08:28 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29059 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Day 83 totally sober, no alcohol, no weed, no psys, no "other" drugs.
I'm beginning to get used to being sober again, but I still can't say that I like it.
Anxiety is high, irritability is high.
Appetite is up in a bad way. Motivation to work out is down in a bad way.
I am convinced that drugs made me a better, fitter, more motivated person and am ticked off to be stuck in court-ordered rehab. Fuck the propaganda.
Without drugs, life is just laborious slavery and little rewards.
Trying to take a Buddhist viewpoint on it and living simply without desire, but honestly I think psychedelics actually improved my emotional wellbeing, stimulants improved my fitness, and weed relieved my anxiety. The rest like codeine and MXE were just for shits and giggles. I find myself wishing I could convince the world of the value of these things as medicines for individuals like me but cynically believe that nobody would listen.

In my life I have tried ( as far as I can remember):

  • Peyote (Twice)
  • San Pedro Cactus ( Many times )
  • Methylbuphedrone ( For a solid month or so )
  • Ecstasy ( A few times )
  • Ethylone ( Many times )
  • 4-ACO-DMT ( A few times )
  • 4-HO-MET ( Once )
  • 5-MEO-DMT ( A few times )
  • MIPT ( Once )
  • DMT (Many times )
  • Cannabis in many forms ( Errday for like 8 years )
  • Promethazine Codeine ( Many times )
  • Demerol ( For like a few months )
  • DOI ( Twice )
  • DOM ( Twice )
  • MXE ( For a month or so )
  • DXM ( Many times )
  • 1P-LSD ( Twice )
  • LSD ( Once )
  • Etizolam ( Once )
  • Mescaline powder ( Once )
  • Allylescaline ( Once )
  • Amphetamine ( Many times )
  • Dexedrine ( A few times )
  • Alcohol ( Socially )
  • DPH (hurr durr once recreationally, often for prescribed purpose )
  • Mushrooms ( Many times )
  • 3-MEO-PCP ( Once )
  • Ephedrine ( Habitually as part of fitness stack )
  • Clenbuterol ( For like a month )
  • Yohimbine ( Habitually as part of fitness stack )

I can see how this could be construed as a drug problem. But on the other hand, I believe my experiences on these drugs made me a stronger person. The psychiatric drugs I am on now (seroquel and lithium) do jack shit to help me cope with the horrors of my life. I just wish society would accept drug users as a lifestyle choice instead of forcing us to conform. I feel I was more productive and a greater contributor ON drugs than OFF of them. Now I just have crippling depression, anxiety and PTSD. I've gained 10 lbs and feel miserable. Sex and food are all I look forward to. I have zero hope for the future or my former career in engineering.

Anyway, I just needed to vent. I don't think my habits constituted an addiction since most of the drugs weren't that habit forming, and the ones that were I kicked many years ago. It's easy to stay off of them physically but life still feels miserable without them emotionally. My doctors say I was 'self-medicating' with weed, but the medication they give me to do the same job is just bullshit. "And the pills your mother gives you don't do anything at all."

Modern medicine really ought to take a good long look at itself and realize that people self-medicate because their own drugs do jack shit to help the symptoms of depression, anxiety and PTSD. I'm sick and tired of doctors and people telling me that I was stupid for self-medicating when their own treatments don't do jack shit.

Anyway, I'm sure I can make it sober all the way through rehab and a few months necessary to keep things cool before I start using again. I just hope I'm smarter this time and won't get caught.

Best of luck to you all.
Hugh Dunningpeck - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 15:48:36 EST ID:wAI8p3nf No.29060 Ignore Report Quick Reply
We're with you 1hunnid, bro. Some people need to be sober for their wellbeing, but people like you do it for your wellbeing. With that said, don't emphazise drugs too much. No fun that you are a different person without drugs :/
George Bardlock - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 17:17:35 EST ID:8un2hfIK No.29061 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I can see where without weed you'd feel irritable and depressed. I get that way too when I'm dry. Your doctors can go eat a dick. So, weed is bad for you and yet it's legalized in multiple states. Yet, they put you on lithium and say that's okay? I know if you take lithium you have to get blood work done quite often. I'd rather smoke weed than take a medication that could kill me. My doctor put me on zyprexa in place of lithium. Works just fine. I still smoke weed as I feel self medicating with a plant based drug is better for me and keeps me grounded and leveled out.

Doctor tried telling me that weed is bad. Yet, I'm still smoking because I know what's best for me. How much do you want to bet a lot of these doctors smoke weed and still have the audacity to say that weed is bad and you shouldn't be self medicating? Fuck them.
Caroline Fupperbanks - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 19:31:28 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29062 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Yeah, I wish I lived in a legal state. Weed is much better medicine for keeping me calm and on the level than toxic metals for sure.

I've used them for so long, I guess they became a part of me and my personality. They were definitely a part of my daily life.

Thanks for the support. I'm hoping I can make it through the next year until the eyes are off me so I can at least smoke weed again. I'll probably steer clear of the harder drugs for the time being just to keep the stress to a minimum.
Lydia Chendergold - Thu, 23 Mar 2017 18:48:06 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29078 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Day 87. Smoking like a chimney, the one vice still allowed for some reason.
George Numblecocke - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 03:32:31 EST ID:aAhrOU7q No.29080 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Hey Ranty. The medicinal industry don't want you healed up.

Only your self can heal you up. Entheogens may help you if you are in the right set of sate of being and open to surrendering completely to however it wants you to be. Peyote kills the weak. Mary Jane does her thing, LSD can kill your brain cells and, probably, the shrooms are the most 'humane' to communicate with, or best guides. I have heard ayahuasca is the best healer in the world of plant remedies.

All drugs are bad, mmkay? (Sorry, had to)

Let go and let god. You are not sick. You probably just believe in your own suffering and thus have a really bad time. Take care. Stop believing in the chems for real. You are a perfect being, and you need to tap into that if you wanna get better. Peace and love are the only things that truly matter.

Peace and love. To your self.
George Numblecocke - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 03:34:09 EST ID:aAhrOU7q No.29081 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>29080 Replying to
>>29059 This guy.
Esther Grimwater - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 09:17:56 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29082 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I've taken Ayahuasca ttwice.

If all drugs are bad, I should stop my psychiatric meds, too.
Esther Grimwater - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 09:18:26 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29083 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I don't believe in God. Sorry.
Nathaniel Poddlefoot - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 09:22:24 EST ID:rV4/QHiM No.29084 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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First week of Smug Month 2017 completed! Only 4 more weeks to go.

Seriously guys, being smug really makes not doing drugs easy peasy.
Charlotte Goffingman - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 11:02:07 EST ID:8un2hfIK No.29085 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 55. Just five more days to go until I hit two months clean. On April 1st I'm going down to 1mg suboxone. I will stop taking subs as of May 1st. Good timing as I'll be clean completely from anything (besides weed) just in time for summer. On Sunday I'm going back to the gym and losing the rest of this weight and starting on a diet. I'm also looking into taking GED prep classes over the summer so I can get take the test asap and just be making it in time to able to sign up for college courses in the fall. If I don't make it in time then I'll start college classes next spring. I've been thinking a lot and I want the best for myself out of life. I can't wait to get a start on everything as it'll make me happy and also gives me something(s) to look foward too. I'm more optimistic than usual. I know I can achieve my goals as long as I put in the work. I'm going to keep grinding and accomplish what I want to set out to do.
Hannah Smalldale - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 11:09:53 EST ID:LGE3Jr2b No.29086 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Now one week sober after quitting weed. Don't even have any cravings, even though I still have a decent amount of weed lying around.
It's like I'm a totally different person, my anxiety is gone, I can suddenly talk to people, I'm extremely motivated and productive, worked out a lot this week and my depression is gone, just like that.
What the fuck guys, I thought I smoked to treat my depression, but did weed actually cause my depression? I still can't describe how much better I feel now.
Esther Grimwater - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 11:37:44 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29087 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I'm off for yet another piss test and I'm definitely gonna pass. Thanks for all of the support.

The hard part now is just producing urine on demand. I'm guzzling coffee and iced tea, I've got about an hour or so.
Edwin Drovinglock - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 13:24:01 EST ID:PPalUL9Y No.29088 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Yesterday was my last day smoking weed, for real this time. I told everyone that I'm not doing it any more and I need clean piss to get a job. I'm glad I planned it this way. My gf and I are both quitting for my one week spring break, and we're going camping for my birthday tomorrow. With all the rain we've had this winter, it's going to be so pretty. It's nice to feel confident about quitting for once. Some of my friends will want to smoke while camping, but as long as my gf and I encourage each other, we should be able to stay away from it.

Now I just have to figure out what to do with my weed plants and silly weed pictures
Charlotte Goffingman - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 18:35:08 EST ID:8un2hfIK No.29089 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Good stuff guys. I think I could never quit smoking. I use weed medicinally for my mental issues. But, I've gotten a lot better over the past year from doing more than just sitting around and getting stoned. I sometimes think to myself that I'd like to quit. But, for now I'm just going to do smoke and get my life in order. When my time is occupied by school and a job, I won't be even thinking about toking. Maybe I'll still smoke. Who knows?
Hamilton Dirryhog - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 10:27:24 EST ID:LGE3Jr2b No.29091 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Fuck, I thought that I'm finally over my ex after three months. Felt like a normal functional human being again. Now that I've stopped smoking weed I'm dreaming again and every fucking night I dream about my ex. Either we're somehow back together and she cheats on me, or I meet her at some random place and she became a total slut or she taunts me about her new boyfriend (even though she's still single), always some fucking bullshit.
Every morning I wake up completely angry or depressed, those dreams are ruining my whole day, I can't even stop thinking about them. This morning I got so angry I smashed several plates and broke some other stuff in my room, I'm so angry, frustrated and just want to break something. Fuck. I'm so tempted to start smoking again, just so the dreams will finally stop, every single night for the last three weeks.

Sorry for the rambling, just needed to vent.
Edwin Pockcocke - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 10:36:41 EST ID:8un2hfIK No.29092 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Why did you quit smoking? Maybe you should start up again? I'm going through something similar. But, my dreams aren't about a girl or anything like that. It's about people who I haven't seen in years and some of them were just complete dicks. I was waking up in a bad mood every morning. But, the dreams aren't as "severe" as they were about a week ago. Saw a lot of fucked up shit in those dreams that had to do with these certain people. So, I just started smoking again and I'm doing fine. Weed helps me with staying grounded and leveled out. Weed isn't bad. Fuck those assholes who says otherwise.
Phoebe Sugglefield - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 12:53:13 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29093 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I would smoke if I could.

I have now been drug free for 90 days. My brain still feels fried. Cigarettes help with the anxiety and irritability, but they're also a disgusting habit. For the rages, I guess I have the mood stabilizers my shrink prescribes me, but I doubt I'd break things. Something else must be up. Don't worry, man, plenty of fish in the sea.

Marijuana never interrupted my dream cycles although I hear it does that in some people and you must be one of them. Maybe you could go to the doctor and get some medicine instead, if you really don't want to smoke.
Edwin Pockcocke - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 13:05:37 EST ID:8un2hfIK No.29094 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Damn three months sober? Great shit right there. Good job. I'm coming
Up on 60 days in the next couple days. Let's keep going! We're all gonna make it!!
Nathaniel Nullyridge - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 16:54:57 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29095 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I hate it. I can't wait for the weekly urine tests to stop so I can go back to smoking weed at least, or for it to become legal and for it not to matter. Although they test me for alcohol, too, so I imagine I wouldn't be cut loose until the end of all of this bullshit.

I will not have a VOP on my record, I will wait till it all blows over and then move far away or maybe to a legal state and chill.
Thomas Sesslestick - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 10:26:47 EST ID:8un2hfIK No.29097 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 59. Tomorrow will make two months. I've come so damn far and I will never look back. I will admit, in the past two weeks I've slipped up a few times. But, after last night I will never again touch this shit. Why the fuck am I regressing back and letting myself go back to my old ways? I was so close to just throwing those pills down the toilet. But, I gave in. It's so much like having an angel and devil on your shoulders. I feel ashamed and feel like I let myself down. What a shitty feeling this is. After how far I've come and I'm just throwing it all away just for some high. Really? Well all I can do now is put it in the past and just when I feel the cravings coming on I'll just smoke weed. That's what I should've done all those other times that I gave in to my cravings. But, I'm okay overall and am just going to move foward from this.

Tomorrow comes two months. So fucking stoked!
Doris Songergold - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 11:43:29 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29098 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Don't sweat slip ups, just don't let them happen again. If it makes things easier, have somebody test you like a rehab program and hold you to it. What drug are you trying to kick exactly? Some klind of pill? Benzos? Opis? That can be tough, but you can make it, you have the will.

Weed is a great treatment for opi withdrawls in conjunction with medication, you can do it.
Thomas Sesslestick - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 18:36:27 EST ID:8un2hfIK No.29100 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I'm kicking my opiate habit and that's the only thing I was addicted too. I smoke weed and that's all I need. I'm currently on suboxone and am tapering down to 1mg on Thursday.

Yeah, no more slip ups. I'm glad you guys can understand what I'm dealing with ATM.
Walter Tootstock - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 20:57:59 EST ID:HGHKLmU8 No.29102 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Wrapping day 2 of experimenting with being clean and sober. Mostly doing it to set my head back on straight, I'm going in knowing it won't last forever this time so I have it easier than most people ITT. Not sure how long it will last, I set a week at least as my goal but the first week is the hardest so who knows. This is kind of the first real day since yesterday I still had a decent afterglow from what I did the day before. Only thing that keeps me doing it is that I know when I finally do go back to using it will be that much better.
William Cleshsat - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:00:38 EST ID:fVyPaCUm No.29108 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 60. Finally, two months sober as of today. I am so proud of myself and really happy that I've made it this far. Now, just one more month to go and I'll be off the subs entirely. Going down to 1mg tomorrow. All the work I've put in to stay sober has made me more mature and has me growing as a person. No more slip ups as of three days ago and I'm never letting myself do that again.
Edward Duckgold - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:18:07 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29109 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Day 93. I've got the greater part of a year of this ahead of me, I wonder when I will lose count of the days. I long for the day I'm cut loose enough to at least drink alcohol again, although I suspect I will have to watch it on weed since now I have a record.

I live in NYC. I am praying and hoping that one of the two marijuana legalization bills will pass this year, but I'm not optimistic because of the conservative bent certain parts of the state and city have. Massachusetts gives me hope. I don't think I will experiment with drugs nearly as extensively after all of this, but I do still want my weed back. It just always made me feel like everything was going to be alright.

I have my girl and family to live for I guess. I've been playing video games and they're starting to feel fun again, but no where near as pleasurable as when drugged. I used to play the game "Lineage 2" while tripping bizzalls, the graphics aren't next generation now but it was still fun and free. I played other MMOs with my girl but that was our go-to game since it was free. Now it just looks like lame playstation 2-tier graphics instead of the HD hallucination-augmented graphics on shrooms, DOI, DOM and LSD. So I've switched to Starcraft, which is more of a thinking man's game anyway.

Sex is still fun, but I still miss the mind-blowing sex on drugs. She does, too (she's going clean as well). Sorry in advance to all the wizardchan users.

When I first quit all drugs (and I used a lot of different ones) my appetite went through the roof and I gained ten pounds. Now I'm finally getting back into the swing of exercise and eating right again. So that's a plus.

I miss weed. I miss DMT, lucy and shrooms, and all their buddies. I don't miss the dissos as much although they were fun. The opi I kinda miss but had been off of for a while so I don't want to go back. Stims I miss, but they're more tools than recreational drugs in my opinion.

Anyway, ranty is ranty as usual. Good luck to all you /detox/ers.
William Cleshsat - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:30:01 EST ID:fVyPaCUm No.29110 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Already sounds like you're getting adjusted to being sober and appreciative of life. Just keep going and keep plugging away. It gets easier by the day. Youre farther along than me.
Edward Duckgold - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 12:33:58 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29111 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Thanks, you keep it up, too!

I still really miss drugs, I have like "drug attacks" where I think of relapsing, but the consequences are what keeps me clean.
William Cleshsat - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 13:13:26 EST ID:fVyPaCUm No.29112 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I just got over my cravings as of two days ago. I did slip up. But, not like total relapse. Cravings suck.
Edward Duckgold - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 14:31:04 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29113 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yeah, they do. Just keep fighting them, man, you can kick it.
William Cleshsat - Wed, 29 Mar 2017 14:44:03 EST ID:fVyPaCUm No.29114 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yeah that's all I can do. Weed usually takes the cravings away. Atleast for me it does. I've come too far to fuck up now.
Jack Sidgedale - Fri, 31 Mar 2017 18:09:59 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29120 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Day 95. Still here, still alive, still sober, still hating it. Intense cravings for weed, but not withdrawal or anything lame and non-existent like that. I dream about drugs a lot, and sometimes in my dream I realize I'm not supposed to be doing drugs and panic myself awake. Like dreaming you're smoking a bowl and then waking up in a panic that you're gonna fail your next piss test. Other than that, I'm actually doing OK.
Ian Brimmerlock - Sat, 01 Apr 2017 14:46:32 EST ID:bysxsiSx No.29121 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day whatever, I don't know. About a month since I did heroin or any opiate.

My social anxiety has gotten a lot worse. My depression has gotten worse, too. Finding it hard to do anything that doesn't have instant gratification.
No job still. I'm around my parents a lot more and I'm realizing how fucked up and unhappy they are. I don't want to be anything like them. I want to move out, but I don't think I'd be able to sustain myself, or stay away from drugs if I lived in town.
I have absolutely no plans for the future. I need to get my GED but Khan Academy makes me feel like a fucking idiot and I don't remember the stuff I do.

I can still taste heroin when I have a runny nose. Not having many dreams about it anymore, but I had one the other night where my dealer/friend came over but wouldn't talk to me.

Still ugly, covered in acne and slightly deformed. Just thinking about myself makes me want to do some H and forget for awhile. I don't have any friends that support/care about my abstinence. My brother is doing meth and dope almost every day and shows no signs of sadness or depression. Makes me jealous.
Doris Goffingdirk - Sat, 01 Apr 2017 15:17:08 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29122 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You need some kind of motivation beyond getting your GED to focus on to stay clean. Do you work? Do you plan on getting a job? Do you still live with your birth family? How about friends, do you have friends that are supportive?

It might be pretty hard to stay off dope if you're always around your brother doing it, but it's not impossible. Like I said, you just need a motivation to focus on. The GED sounds like a good start.
Ian Brimmerlock - Sat, 01 Apr 2017 18:00:44 EST ID:bysxsiSx No.29123 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I'm not motivated to do anything. My GED isn't going to matter when I'm gonna be a shelf stocker/line cook for the next 10 years anyway. Work doesn't interest me, but I should be saving up so I can move out I guess. I'm conflicted because I want to move out, but moving out would mean holding a steady job no matter what. Also it would mean paying bills, when I could potentially work AND stay at home rent-free, which seems stupid to give up because you don't like the people you live with.

I just have no energy for anything. When I work, I'm miserable all day (unless I'm on opiates) then I come home as fast as possible and just go to sleep (unless I'm on opiates.) I don't have any friends at all.

I know it's possible to work, take care of your home/self AND study for college or something, but that seems fucking impossible to me. I'm not like that.

I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never be able to kill myself, but it feels the only thing I'm capable of anymore.
Doris Goffingdirk - Sat, 01 Apr 2017 18:16:30 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29124 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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First of all, don't kill yourself. You're just going through a rough patch, there will be plenty of good times later. There's the Radiohead song High and Dry. "The best thing you ever had has gone away." It's going to be tough but don't give up.

Second, you gotta build a support network. That means making friends who will form meaningful relationships with you. If you have a hobby, try to find friends who enjoy the same hobby.

I'd stay at home until you at least get your GED or maybe even college. It just makes sense economically, unless it's really bad and you want to move out.

The GED is just a stamp on your record, it doesn't really mean anything. A high school degree doesn't mean anything either. But employers will filter you out in the screening process alone if you have neither. Sucks, but true.

I'd stay at home, avoid dope, maybe talk to your brother and ask him to do it in private if he's smoking/shooting where you can see.

You gotta have a dream or a hope for the future. Otherwise, it all just becomes bleak and hopeless. Maybe a career where you can advance vocationally to earn more money. You could maybe save up for a downpayment on a condo or house and live like a boss. That's a goal.

You could also go to a doctor and maybe get some psychiatric meds for the depression, although your mileage may vary on those. If you tell them you're a recovering addict, they may have other meds to help you out, too.

Good luck.
Beatrice Clippersetch - Sun, 02 Apr 2017 09:31:07 EST ID:fVyPaCUm No.29125 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 64. Started on 1mg suboxone today. So far so good. Not much to say. But, the days are flying by and I'll be completely done with subs before you know it. I'm putting all this behind me and going on with my life.
Alice Honeystone - Wed, 05 Apr 2017 11:02:14 EST ID:fVyPaCUm No.29135 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 67. Feeling good and I feel better than ever. I'm about to sign up for GED prep classes real soon and take my test after my classes are over. Can't wait to start this process and work hard for that piece of paper. After that, start applying for college courses and get grants to pursue my degree. I want to be involved in physical therapy or some sector of sports medicine as my career.

It's time to start the rest of my life and live happy and successful.
John Hedgeduck - Wed, 05 Apr 2017 15:37:03 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29137 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Day 100. 100 days sober, another big milestone. I have a court date coming up, and I'm squeaky clean, so I expect things to go well. I hope they go better than expected. Almost no craving for weed anymore since I sort of understand now that it will be a very, very long time before I can experience it again. I don't wish for psychedelics right now because I'm almost certain it would be a bad trip given my current mind. I wish I could drink alcohol, I think it's unfair to force someone to not use a legal drug just because they got caught with illegal drugs, but it's part of the rehab program. I've pissed in a cup every week - sometimes twice a week - so far. I'm hoping I can make it to early January next year and at least celebrate the end of the rehab program with a beer. I have a feeling I'll be monitored closely afterwards by even some friends and family so I'm going to keep a low profile until mid-next year. At least I still got my woman. Stay strong, everybody, and stay motivated.
David Gonningtatch - Wed, 05 Apr 2017 21:15:28 EST ID:CWGeJwcG No.29138 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Clean and sober for over 2 years now, before that I struggled with an opiate addiction for about 3 years. Trust me, boys. It gets easier. To the guys above me that are like 70 days and 100 days sober (really anyone else trying to get clean, for that matter), stick with it. The bad feels are bad but they're only temporary and then you're free from it all and can live happily without this shit holding you back.
Fucking Creshwater - Thu, 06 Apr 2017 13:42:55 EST ID:s+3wW2Ys No.29139 Ignore Report Quick Reply
So I run out of weed yesterday after a friend gave me some for free. I scraped some of the thc dust as well in a bowl. got high and went really OCD. Weed can amplify fucked up delusional ways of thinking for me. I might give it a long break until I get too highly strung and give in again.

Im trying to do drums and treadmill everyday before work which is also physical.
I dont drink like I used to and avoid drugs mostly. Every so often I might have a blow out and then not do it again for months. My emotions can be mixed but I want to know if this just life or drugs. Id be interested to know if Ive fucked my serotonin in anyway from using drugs, but then the most coke Ive ever done in one night is half a gram and the most MDMA 1g ..sometimes I would do E every week or two over a short while until my shit fucked up. and Ive mucked around with occasional minor benzo abuse. I dont think any of things would be enough to do long term damage. Ive always been a bit crazy anyway which is why I shouldnt do drugs.

Found this for anyone wanting to chat with some ppl http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/
Basil Brupperchadge - Sat, 08 Apr 2017 09:53:59 EST ID:LGE3Jr2b No.29141 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Three weeks sober from weed now. Drinking A LOT less. Since my last acid trip I can suddenly stop drinking when I want to and don't have to drink compulsively until I pass out. Have less anxiety and can talk to people like a normal human being. I feel like a completely different person.
Life is going great. Have been more productive than I have been in years. Working out a lot, eating healthy, have a regular sleep pattern. I just can't believe how much time I wasted over the last four years, maybe I'm really gonna make it. I'm just scared I'm going to crash sometime in the future and the cycle will begin anew.
Basil Chishstone - Sat, 08 Apr 2017 10:46:23 EST ID:XScBMwJY No.29144 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Because bill w smoked the founder of modern rehab

So it's ok because it was in 1939 or whatever

God can cure any addiction aside from nicotine of course
Nathaniel Dartford - Sat, 08 Apr 2017 10:54:41 EST ID:Nw1d/+96 No.29145 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Talk to a doctor
I tried stuff like on that link, 12 step etc
Does nothing but make you insane. Doctor helped me with the imbalance chemically
Then it all became easier
12 steps is a waste of time/money/life
Henry Dittingkudging - Sat, 08 Apr 2017 12:47:44 EST ID:HgouiSlI No.29146 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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3 months clean from a daily meth addiction. It's still very hard to get out of bed. I think about going out and getting more all the time. I can focus on anything and I have trouble feeling good like I used to.
George Pittway - Sat, 08 Apr 2017 15:20:40 EST ID:CWGeJwcG No.29147 Ignore Report Quick Reply
That's fairly normal for 3 months clean. Stick with it. You're getting a lot closer to the point where you'll feel actually normal again. I'd say 6 months (in total, not 6 months from now) until you feel like you're really getting your general mindset/focus back (still might have the odd craving here or there buy they WILL fade the longer you stay clean) and maybe about a year to really get your energy back, depending on what you're doing right now. The process will feel a lot quicker if you're exercising and eating right though. After I dropped opiates it was fucking insane to me how much energy I lost during that time. Like, I was a good 6 months clean and it felt like a fucking struggle to even lift my blankets and shit to make my bed. Like almost any movement I made took a lot of energy out of me. Then I started eating better and getting some exercise, building myself up a bit, and everything has been fine since. The cravings have long passed and I feel about as normal as I did before I ever touched opiates. Seriously, stick with it. You will feel good again without drugs. I promise. It's just a matter of time.
George Pittway - Sat, 08 Apr 2017 15:23:59 EST ID:CWGeJwcG No.29148 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I agree that 12 step is some brainwashing bullshit, and is a total waste of time and money for something you can absolutely accomplish on your own, but I guess it works for some people. Too bad they won't stop preaching to you about their "higher power" and shit later on, though.
Albert Goodfuck - Sat, 08 Apr 2017 15:46:38 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29149 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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If I hear "Let go and let God" one more time, I think I will puke.

I'm just glad they aren't trying Belladonna still, I found it dicking around in the BIll W. wikipedia article.

I actually ended up trying to quit smoking again, but not for any reason except it's fucking expensive and I'm on a shoestring budget now. I'm coincidentally on Wellbutrin so maybe that's helping.

Anyway, day 103 I guess. If I stop caffeine now, I will be the most sober man on the planet. If my life ween't in ruins around me, I'd probably be saying something about enjoying being sober now, but the drugs and alcohol really helped me cope with the sadness and depression. That being said, I really appreciate all the encouragement people on this board have made and want to return some of it. We can do it!
Polly Clayman - Sat, 08 Apr 2017 17:07:53 EST ID:fVyPaCUm No.29150 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 70. I'm not doing as good as I've been doing. I slipped up and took opiates twice this week. It happened last week too. But, all I can do is put this behind me and keep on going with my goal of getting clean and sober and stop fucking up. I honestly don't know why I did what I did. But, I do have a great support system from my family and from you guys on this board. Their really is no excuse for what I did. I feel like an idiot for letting myself do this as far as I've come in the past two months. But, it is what it is and I know better now than to slip up another time. I can't progress in life if I just keep popping pills. So, no more slip ups. Time to truly move foward and work on myself and get my shit together.
Osterbach - Sun, 09 Apr 2017 10:45:43 EST ID:21Pw2h2u No.29151 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Did something stupid (mixed klonipins w/ heroin) and ended up nodded out on the side of the road with a bag full of caps. Got picked up by the cops and rushed to the E.R. I guess this is the end of my 3 year opiate journey. I just want to kill myself right now rather than listen to all of the family drama that will come with it along with my career likely being ruined.
Martin Hunningstug - Sun, 09 Apr 2017 11:08:28 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29152 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I hear you, buddy. I had a seizure after a heroic dose of DOI and ended up in the hospital and in trouble because of the weed and shit I had in my house. It's gonna be tough but you can get through it. I hope you have a good lawyer.
William Drunnerspear - Thu, 13 Apr 2017 10:46:26 EST ID:4gyE4GE1 No.29160 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Day 108. I've now quit smoking nicotine cold turkey, resulting in some discomfort but it's managable. The only mind altering substances I use are my medications and caffeine. It's a completely different lifestyle and I think it's really boring. I have crippling ennui and depression which I am taking Wellbutrin for at the maximum dosage of 450 mg daily which might also be helping with the smoking. I have difficulty focusing and concentrating, but they won't prescribe me ADD meds because of my drug history (my shrink is affiliated with my court-ordered rehab program).

I'm on the tightest budget I've ever been on, so I can't even indulge on food, although that's been very good for my weight loss. When I stopped drugs, I initially gained about 10 pounds, maybe from the new medication or from depression, but I'm taking them off now. Sex and old vidya games is about the only thing to look forward to now.

There's a light at the end of this tunnel I hope.
Phoebe Fimmlecocke - Sat, 15 Apr 2017 11:41:16 EST ID:+q+JvMKp No.29167 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Day 77. I decided as of today that no longer am I going to fuck up and keep slipping up. Over the past week I've been struggling with keeping my cravings down. I gave in and kept getting high. Honestly, only did it once a day over a week. I'm not using that as an excuse. It's bad enough. But, as of now I am going to get 100% clean and become totally sober from opiates. This shit isnt worth it. I know that. I took my regular suboxone dose of 1mg earlier. I must have purpose in my life and targets I want to hit. I'm going back on my diet and going back to the gym on Monday and lose this weight. I made a promise to myself and my doctor that the next time I walk into his office that he will see healthier and better person and a new person at that. I haven't been meditating over the past two weeks. Going to start that back up after Easter. I will become the person who I'm destined to become.
David Sinkinlodge - Sun, 23 Apr 2017 16:45:19 EST ID:VQaOL+t6 No.29194 Ignore Report Quick Reply
We believe in you
Nicholas Murdhood - Sun, 23 Apr 2017 18:13:12 EST ID:hKjuh74y No.29196 Ignore Report Quick Reply
7 days, im the disso chick from that other thread.

honestly, this is going to be easy until the 6th month mark, i think.
Simon Goodgold - Mon, 24 Apr 2017 04:26:52 EST ID:LK0bkt1l No.29198 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Good man, I was an opi addict for a long time. That shit is far from worth it.
I've seen the progression in every form, in all kinds of different people.
I've seen it take the lives of even "moderate" users. My best friend liked to do H every now and then, and one time he got hit with some fentanyl bullshit, and bam it's all over. GG.
Just stick with it man. I went through a period, probably a couple years where I really wanted to get clean but just slipped up over and over again. It was really demoralizing. But eventually you just get to a point where you can actually think straight and weigh the consequences. You just have to have enough time and a clear mind to actually be able to think about those decisions right.
When you're in the shit, and you start getting cravings, it totally shuts off the rational center of the brain. The impulse/reflex/instinct part of your brain is rewired to get you that dope no matter the cost, so the addict brain ignores all rationality when making those kinds of decisions.
It takes a little bit of time to get healed enough that you can think straight. Just keep sticking with it, and it gets better.
I've been clean for a couple years now and my body feels great. It still hurts to think about friends lost, and all the people I know that are still struggling day to day to stay high, but that's on them. You keep doing you, stay thinking clear and being healthy in body and mind and you'll get everything you need. Even if we don't become wealthy, or hugely successful in other ways, we're still leading a better life than being chained down by an addiction that saps your happiness, willpower, and energy.
Graham Fibberspear - Mon, 24 Apr 2017 14:18:13 EST ID:hKjuh74y No.29201 Ignore Report Quick Reply
the 5g dck that i thought was lost/seized (and that my vendor refunded me after i told them i was going to "quit research for the good of my business" (good guy vendor, thumb up) showed up today. like, are you fucking kidding me.

so fucking salty about it. whatever, its flushed. had to willpower thru it. really upset though, part of me wanted that shit SO FUCKING BAD. hate being an addict
Graham Fibberspear - Mon, 24 Apr 2017 14:53:29 EST ID:hKjuh74y No.29202 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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boyfriend was encouraging me to do it, said IT NEVER EXISTED (since i got refunded)
that was a rough 45 minutes or whatever of wanting to slam my head into a wall, but honestly, its....already feeling like it didnt. its nice.

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