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Hit by a truck by Jack Nazzlesed - Thu, 16 Mar 2017 16:32:56 EST ID:47WPIQJE No.273041 Ignore Report Quick Reply
File: 1489696376302.jpg -(587889B / 574.11KB, 1024x768) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 587889
Last night, 750ml deep on bottom shelf whiskey, I walked out to thee dumpster to drop off some garbage. No shirt, no shoes because it's like 3m from the door. Within that 3m I somehow manage to lose my keys and am utterly unable to find them in the dark (it was after midnight).

I wait in the lobby for over an hour for someone to come and she flat out refuses to let me borrow her phone (probably due to my lack of shirt). So I start walking to look for a phone and dude I live in Canada so we're pushing -20 at this time of night with the wind.

On the way to the Gas Station I get blindsided by a fucking truck. Driver is worried as hell, gives me a jacket and a lift to my mom's place. My head is leaking like a faucet and I have awful roadrash due to the aforementioned lack of shirt.

Turns out I'm not gonna die and just needed some staples in my noggin, but I thought one or two of you might get a laff out of this mess. I can barely move today.
>>
Jenny Gezzlenurk - Thu, 16 Mar 2017 18:15:27 EST ID:cVK/2Bzn No.273044 Ignore Report Quick Reply
1489702527316.jpg -(26947B / 26.32KB, 640x640) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Damn man that fucking sucks. Glad you're okay.
>>
Basil Bardshit - Thu, 16 Mar 2017 19:20:23 EST ID:Sw0Mm6ov No.273046 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Glad you're alright mate.
Also, please don't drink and drive.
>>
Fucking Pizzleway - Thu, 16 Mar 2017 21:46:06 EST ID:47WPIQJE No.273049 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>273046
Was on food, hence the road rash. Nb
>>
Charles Brellerlock - Thu, 16 Mar 2017 23:29:38 EST ID:dwyrBtHD No.273052 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Who knew that going to a dumpster that close to your house could be deadly dangerous. But I guess that's why we love alcohol so much, because we end up in places we never even thought about, whether positive or negative
>>
Fucking Pizzleway - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 00:33:51 EST ID:47WPIQJE No.273055 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>273052
Dude that crashed into me was really nice. He let me use his phone and kept saying how glad he was that I wasn't dead. I didn't think to call the cops or get his license plate number, but that's to be expected.

My buddy got hit by a car and made a pile of cash in a settlement. I'm pretty sure this one was mostly my fault though...
>>
Matilda Nagglekack - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 01:06:16 EST ID:UVGCueAi No.273056 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>273041
Well. that is really a dangerous amout of alcohol. Like almost 2 an a half pints.
Likely you drank much less but maybe not. This is a fuck yourself up without
even leaving the house kinda amounts.

Just saying, it could have been even worse, if even the truck did not hit you.

Good luck anyway. Just drink a pint pint and a half at most, keep it minimal. Feel like
basic shit the next day regardless as the outcome, as oppposed to lacking
self-containment where things could go wrong pretty fast.
>>
Charles Brellerlock - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 01:12:50 EST ID:dwyrBtHD No.273057 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>273056
Not OP, but have you ever heard the word tolerance?
>>
Rebecca Sirringlock - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 22:36:38 EST ID:x3vLyEC3 No.273079 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>273057
Sure, the post explained it pretty well. Lost keys, girl won't let him use phone, bleeds all over the place with guy freaking that peson didn't literally die. Likely freaked mom out. One can drink far less than oblivion and would be better off for it and still get drunk just the same.

I have seen it all, heard it all.
>>
Clara Sanderfuck - Sat, 18 Mar 2017 07:22:08 EST ID:47WPIQJE No.273086 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>273079
If I didn't get locked out I would have finished my 40 of Alberta Premium that night. Tolerance is definitely a fucker. nb


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