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Histories biggest Chad by Isabella Blunnergold - Fri, 30 Mar 2018 21:26:22 EST ID:2kVQJUZ4 No.57414 Ignore Report Quick Reply
File: 1522459582323.png -(71555B / 69.88KB, 220x166) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 71555
My vote goes to Mark Antony
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Emma Grandworth - Sat, 31 Mar 2018 22:10:54 EST ID:rbK+gS1r No.57417 Ignore Report Quick Reply
The guy who invented wheels.
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Archie Gongerstock - Mon, 02 Apr 2018 04:32:29 EST ID:zPMk1XQv No.57420 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Gaiseric, King of the Vandals and Alans in the 5th century
>gets passed over for the crown cause he's a bastard, kills his baby halfbrother and gets away with it
>get crippled and can't ride horses anymore, acquires boats
>gets fucked with in Hispania, conquers everything from Mauretania to Carthage with the most ragass army of the Germans in Europe
>the Byzantines kiss his ass already, kicks the shit out of them anyways
>fucks with the entire empire out of Carthage of all places, when it gets attacked he defends his capital with a couple broken boats and wins
>the Byzantines kiss his ass again and name him foederatus like a bunch of kcmods
>scares the shit out of Flavius Aetius, the guy who broke Attila the Fucking Hun at Locus Mauriacus
>mutilates his daughter in law to try and get his son some Imperial kitty
>oh, did I forget to mention that he sacked fucking Rome? Gaiseric sacked fucking Rome
>has stinky whiskey poop gas all over the treasures of the Republic, Principate, and Dominate
>respect for cultural acheivements is for virgins like Alaric, who couldn't even land on Africa without dying of the sniffles
>dies peacefully in his own bed, unlike virtually everyone else around him, who he outlived
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Sophie Migglechire - Mon, 02 Apr 2018 18:43:03 EST ID:rbK+gS1r No.57424 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>57420
I was like "Dude, Gaiseric is a fictional character from the manga Berzerk", but then I looked it up and this guy was a real barbarian king.
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Ebenezer Sillerhock - Tue, 03 Apr 2018 01:03:53 EST ID:zPMk1XQv No.57425 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>57424
Yeah, I got really sad when I tried to pick up a picture of him for my post and all duckduckgo gave me was excerpts from the manga. I imagine Medieval poetic epic fans feel the same when they look up Astolfo and drown in lewd femboi goodness.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astolfo
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Hedda Dreddlewag - Tue, 03 Apr 2018 12:21:56 EST ID:2kVQJUZ4 No.57426 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>57425
Oh my god I'm so fucking sick of Astolfo
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Angus Boblingridge - Wed, 04 Apr 2018 07:30:10 EST ID:zPMk1XQv No.57429 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>57426
Yeah he kind of has become the meme husbando of choice for fashionable bisexuals and other irritants. I like him, he's so very cute and bubbly, but not unlike with Heath Ledger's Joker back in the day, I have to keep a wide berth so I don't get swallowed up by the cancer.

Back on topic, though, I'd also like to nominate Ted Bundy.
>grows up in a home with an abusive, racist grandfather and a grandmother that gets shock treatment monthly or so for depression
>is told that his mother is his sister, figures out that this is bullshit on his own
>ends up rich and successful anyways
>some girl breaks his heart
>he gets a new girlfriend, cheats on her with the old one, winning back the old gf's love just so he can then break her heart and laugh about it
>can get any woman he wants
>abducts, rapes, tortures, and murders them anyways
>in jail as a murder suspect
>fucking escapes, could have laid low and gone free, just goes around murdering people anyways
>final murder trial is going well, he might just get off scot-free somehow
>shithouses the whole deal anyways
>about to get executed
>blames it all on true crime comics and porn just to piss everyone off one last time

Truly an inspirational underdog story for the modern age.


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