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50mg zaleplon mundanestential crisis fuck you fuck me by mexxed !cDJp28xb8w!!CLeaAsfK - Wed, 12 Apr 2017 13:21:44 EST ID:saNVjd6h No.38289 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I hate you. All of you. And everything this site represents. Not in general, but to me personally. Don't take it personally. This isn't about you, it's about me and it's about me hating you while hating myself on 50mg zaleplon after being clean for like 2+ years impulsively taking it because my fiancee had another fucking autistic meltdown tantrum whatever you wanna call it. And is now in the psych ward.

Just hear me out, I'm 50mg of zaplon (Sonata), listening to Ecstasphere, and I have no idea what I;m doing. Why was this a good idea? Don't worry, it wasn't, I just want to get to sleep since it is 6 hours past my bedtime and I have an appointment tonight. OH IT'S A BLOG LETS ALL SHITPOST MEME ARROWS COMING THROUGH

The're fucking with her meds. Dopamax won't change, can't change, they help the migraines. The 24 hour long ones that never ever go away. In Prozac, out Paxil plus Buspar. Sure whatever. Two weeks later where the fuck did you get all those marks and scars on your arm?!

I've been picking.

It's getting worse.

Now back to Prozac, no more Buspar. Instead Trileptal. In additional to the Dopamax. Question mark?

It's getting worse. It's getting much, much worse.

Sluggishness. Miscommunication. Breakdown. Meltdown. Shutdown. Tantrum. Mood swings. Fights over stupid shit that don't make sense. Gone. WTF

WTF was the point of any of this? What am I doing right now in my middle class condominium full of NICE THINGS that I don't even want. Don't even have the cognitive capacity to to appreciate. It's the cool new thing all the "adults" are doing these days. NEUROSIS! Just pick a problem in your life, any problem no really think about this. Self-esteem, social anxiety, fear of failing, dat pussy game, your inability to deal with you psychotic parent/sibling, your inability to cope with your psychotic president, psychotic neighbor, boss, personal relations; is all comes together, all of it.. Which way do you hang toilet paper so it hangs in front or behind the answer is in front and if you do that shit one more time we're gonna have a conversation about how you did that shit one more time, because my neurosis just took me aside and told me about how if I do that again he's gonna pull me aside and MAKE IT STOP. Blinds open when we are up, closed when we go to bed, duh. Put things back where you found them ffs. YES. NEUROSIS. This is what I NEEDED in my like. I need to know that I have Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, and I had to know that I'd be taking care of someone with high-functioning Autism for the rest of my life. Can't have my neurosis, can't have my things my things my things which are a replacement for drug use (I just read deschloroketamine is pretty good).

It's all about the farce. The people out there
they care about who we are when we're out there
no they care about who we while were in here too always watching always judging
we must do everything we can to maintain the farce.

but who gives a shit if they see you for who you are? Does so-and-so care if...
It's a world of hierarchies, institutions, and bureaucracy, there are rules, laws, and processes, rulers, judges, and politicians and all their lesser emanations through this mechanical light.

What am I doing? Living some fake middle class lifestyle with a 2br condo in a nice neighborhood full of people with jobs and children, and nice cars. I'm living off social security disability, pennies, I bought a tie for $2 at goodwill last week, I liked that tie, it was blue. I never thought I've be at a point in my life where i'f have to buy ties. I'm just some bum. Parasite. I've only managed to live this long by being stubborn. I don't belong here. I don't identify with the middle class. I don't identify with the mentally ill, I barely identify with the working poor in the sense that I work very hard at not working and avoiding work. But really who I most identify with is you. And I hate you, because I hate myself. Fuck youme.

I want my old place back. I want my old piece of shit 1 br apartment with half the fixtures coming out of the wall, creaky hardwood floors, no shelves in the cabinets, baseboard heaters that work sometimes, a mold problem, a psycho landlady, and neighbors who don't give a flying fuck about you. I want to go back to pluggin mxe every day, with dxm occasionally thrown in there for good measure. And shrooms and 2c-c boy if I could get my fucking hands on 2c-c I miss it so much. I miss that. It's what I came home to... if I was ever out. Maybe it's what I went out for... to my mailbox. (cont.)
mexxed !cDJp28xb8w!!CLeaAsfK - Wed, 12 Apr 2017 13:31:37 EST ID:saNVjd6h No.38290 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Wrong board please delete I'm so high I don't know how I got here
Wesley Dartforth - Fri, 12 May 2017 12:10:34 EST ID:Y2Uq6MP+ No.38305 Ignore Report Quick Reply
why did you send your fiancee to the psych ward anyway
Fanny Dupperbadging - Sun, 13 Aug 2017 05:38:51 EST ID:ZkNz6Spg No.38365 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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lol I remember when I used to make posts like this after getting fucked up on dxm.
Those were some good fuckin times, aight

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