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Couldn't focus on anything on last roll - advice? by Frederick Blackstock - Mon, 08 Jan 2018 15:18:48 EST ID:xxlOyJed No.225953 Ignore Report Quick Reply
File: 1515442728128.jpg -(123617B / 120.72KB, 1280x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 123617
Hey /MDMA/.

I do Ecstacy once a year on a rave/music event in the Netherlands. It's in February every year, and it's a bit of a tradition for me and my friends.

Last year I had a good time but I experienced some uncomfortable stuff. I couldn't focus on the music at all, even though I had looked forward to seeing the DJs for months. I was stuck in a strange loop where all I could think about was:

>Are my friends having a good time? I hope they're having a good time.
>I shouldn't bother them though, they look like they're having fun dancing.
>I'm almost out of water. I should get some water.
>What time is it? How long until the next DJ starts playing?
>I should probably go pee even though I don't feel like peeing.
>I want a cigarette. Maybe I've smoked too much though?
And every time a wave of pleasure came over me:
>Oh man, this feels good. I hope I don't start coming down anytime soon.

In short, I couldn't focus on the moment and probably looked really weird, just constantly checking my pockets, my watch, my water bottle and chain smoking all the time. Looking bad is not a problem though, not in the Netherlands and certainly not at that specific event. I do feel like it really made my experience much worse, though.

Not to tell you my entire life story, but this may have something to do with it. Last year I was in a pretty bad place, being quite depressed and apathic. I had been unemployed without studying for several months, and my ability to concentrate had degraded. This time around I am in a much better place, though my concentration is still not what it was when I used to study.

About 5 hours before taking the pill last time, I had smoked a large amount of Dutch weed which made me sort of "after-burned" - tired and apathic. This was probably a large part in why I couldn't focus on the moment. This time I won't smoke anything until after the event.

These are the reasons I can think of for my weird experience last time.
Does anyone else have advice for how to avoid getting stuck in thought loops next time I take Ecstasy? Am I just overthinking this?

The pills, by the way, are real MDMA with a little bit of speed, tested at around 200mg. I took ~180mg and refilled with ~60-70mg. I was about 100kg 178cm / 220lbs 5'10.


TL;DR: Couldn't live in the moment last time I took Ecstasy. Any advice for next time?
Barnaby Shakespear - Tue, 09 Jan 2018 15:47:24 EST ID:QbAReB2Q No.225957 Ignore Report Quick Reply
sounds like meth

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