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no bump~ doing otherwise would be plain rude because of the ole double post I'll have going after I submit this. But wow, sorry, I just have to make this (ranting) post. My fingers are almost subconsciously flying across the keyboard with a life of their own. All please feel free to ignore this post as I'll probably end up making it sound way too pretentious and boringly off-topic so I apologise in advance. Whenever I talk about my drug use, even on a forum dedicated to that stuff, I feel weird about it still. Probably relates to my complete lack of self-esteem being crushed by how I know our society views my IV drug use and my dependence on heroin and methadone. Anyway, that's /qq/ stuff that no one gives a shit about.
It's hard to keep the balance on the fine line between being genuinely excited and maybe even a little poetic waxing online about stuff you like (like drugs - opioids in particular that is when it comes to this wonderful board and community for example). Sharing related experiences with a like-minded community to hear other people's stories and maybe even give and receive some advice from said cool peeps. It's that side of the 'line' I try to stick to when I post here. The other side of this line is stuff like the risk of coming across (I'm going to spam some sweet, typical internet kind of unfair stereotypes here) as an out-of-touch, live-at-home perpetual mummy's boy. Sounding like a one year uni Philosophy major dropout who probably uses darknet-ordered oxy or h as their first opioid ever to 'ease da pain of existence, mang' going straight to intravenous use by secretly shooting up in one's room after the parents are in bed - spending their days posting about their underappreciated intellectual 'insight' about addiction/politics/whatever and will not hestitate to let people know that they're above those street 'junkies' in the way they 'give in' to their addictions and are pathetically weak-minded. They inflict unsolicited wisdom upon their social media circles and whine about how those sheep still never listen to reason. Another pitfall is the oft-seen parroting of what one learned in first stage university classes. Logic papers are the worst for this - for months after their A- grade (or... an A! omg) in PHIL101 or similar; acquaintances, friends and internet strangers must withstand the inevitable onslaught of accusing others of being guilty of every logical fallacy they can conjure from their memory of the couple of lectures they attended (cuz 8am classes are too early). All of this boils down to an embarrassingly obvious display of a severe lack of life experience. Uh, that was quite the weird rant, sorry. I guess I needed to vent slightly there about these damn phonies mannnnn; it's Catcher in the Rye in 5th form English all over again, except Holden Caulfield was an insufferable faggot that everyone in my class seemed to identify with (?). It was disgusting! To me, he was the biggest phony of all of them, the unashamed hypocrite of what he thought was wrong with society while being everything he claimed to hate, and I believe that the author wanted the reader to realise that by the end. Holden was part of the problem and he couldn't accept it. That's what I remember of my reading it once or twice in 2006 anyway.
Ahem. Sorry again. This is a great night. I did my second speedball shot nowish about half an hour after the first one (the second was slightly bigger than the initial one - all part of the dosing plan for max drawn-out goodfeels as I know about the rapid increase in tolerance that occurs after the first dose of h+methylphen and how said combined drug tolerance remains in strong effect if you're going to use again soon (within hours) after that first hit. I won for sure, lol. What a great rush and high I successfully received as a result of my boringly pragmatic dose-planning. I'm still cruising nicely, soaring through the metaphorical fluffy euphoria clouds that fill my mind! The vapour of their bright misty forms meld around me like a comfy old blanket in all their nostalgic warmth as I float carefree in this sky of frankly inhuman-levels of euphoria thanks to my intravenously administered drug-altered perception. Hurray!
Incidentally, they just - like, a week max ago - started stocking those dextromethorphan 15mg gelcaps (Robitussin brand, looks just like the ones you guys get in North America except with local NZ and Aus info on 'em which proves they're not just a random import) in our local pharmacy here where nz and I get our methadone daily, much to my utter amazement. I never thought we would get that product over here in NZ for many different reasons. What a time to be alive... Pure DXM capsules just up the road... It's around the same price as a 300mg/100mL bottle of syrup, but without any of that fucking awful, thick, syrupy menthol-tinged artificial cherry vanilla bullshit but instead you get the same 300mg in tasteless little capsules! You may only just be able to detect my real feelings by reading between the lines in that last sentence about how I hate Dry Cough Forte syrup /sarcasm. Years back before my opioid dependence took hold, a 600mg syrup-dosed experience was the last time I ever did high-dose DXM, and that felt like it was enough DXM for me - ever - as I didn't enjoy the incredibly powerful mind-fuck in the true dissociation that resulted at the peak... I forgot who I was, constant blackouts etc. Not to mention that I smoked a joint on the comeup (about 45mins after dosing) - 'hurrr nuffins happeninnnnn so i'll smoak dis bud lul' - it rapidly triggered the most overwhelming rush of dissociation I've ever felt in my life - I truly thought I was going to faint and die as I robo-staggered back to my bed and collapsed and was unable to move for 4hrs which felt more like 24hrs. I know people do much higher doses than 600mg, but I'm an underweight guy (even lighter back then) and to me it felt like I was heading into actual anathestic-level 'high'. As I began to come down, it was like being reborn, not only did I slowly remember my human existence on this rock flying through space and what my life was and what I could piece together of my 'identity' to regain a semblance of 'who' I was, I was also relearning how to crawl and walk and use my various appendages again... it was neither a bad or good experience, it simply... happened. Dissociatives are fucking weird drugs, man.
Anyway, the other day, I did a small (150mg~) DXM dose along with nz (he took similar dose) with these fancy 15mg gelcaps to see how it would mix with our speedball we shot about an hour later, and we found the answer - it does mix very nicely indeed. It's got nothing on the smoothing actions of a quality benzo, but it has its own surprisingly effective synergy that reduces the unpleasant peripheral/physical side-effects of the stim portion of the speedball and replaces it with a pleasant numb buzz that still doesn't take away from the overall entire high or rush. I'll be doing it again for sure. Looks like my teenage (well, 20/21 technically, lol) DXM days might be back for a while. Except this time for pragmatic reasons; sensible 1st/2nd plat doses for improved & chilled out heroin + methylphenidate shots.