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feels by Edwin Woppershaw - Sat, 23 Dec 2017 21:47:51 EST ID:CjzB9DF9 No.590247 Ignore Report Quick Reply
File: 1514083671091.jpg -(304110B / 296.98KB, 900x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 304110
I feel so much like shit before and after I dose opiates. It really depresses me, I feel guilty. Its such an obscene habit. I don't know what is it that opiates do to the soul, I feel like I don't even deserve being alive because of this. I dont trust my therapist enough to tell her about my experiences with opiates, has someone here done it? How did it go?

I'm not even sure of what am I trying to do with this thread
>>
Graham Tootgold - Sun, 24 Dec 2017 00:40:06 EST ID:Bt35YCVc No.590251 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590247
stop taking opiates
>>
Martin Dartson - Sun, 24 Dec 2017 01:30:58 EST ID:FKnMTvE2 No.590252 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590247
stop being sorry for yourself

accept what you are or move on but whatever you do stop being a whiny little bitch
>>
Cedric Brammlepure - Sun, 24 Dec 2017 01:39:18 EST ID:1/276my3 No.590253 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590252
This

/thread. Nb.
>>
Cedric Brammlepure - Sun, 24 Dec 2017 01:39:18 EST ID:1/276my3 No.590254 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590252
This

/thread. Nb.
>>
Cedric Brammlepure - Sun, 24 Dec 2017 01:40:37 EST ID:1/276my3 No.590255 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590254
FFFFFUUUUUUUU-----

GODDAMMIT OP I BLAME YOU
>>
Reuben Bardspear - Sun, 24 Dec 2017 11:17:59 EST ID:4a9z1/y4 No.590266 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590251
Easier said than done
>590252
I don't feel sorry for myself
>>
Jack Blezzlelock - Sun, 24 Dec 2017 18:12:39 EST ID:R/FKyZGK No.590277 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590247
Sorry everyone is being mean when you are already having a rough time. Is there a reason you can't just stop taking opiates? What is your current habit like? I can probably give some advice on how to make whatever withdrawals you're facing easier to get through, comment back here if you're interested in hearing it. Just need to know the length and level of habit to be able to give you the best advice I can. Good luck buddy and remember, the sooner you quit the sooner your brain can repair itself and you can start feeling less depressed or maybe even happiness again.

As far as telling your therapist, as long as there is some sort of patient confidentiality clause you should probably go for it. It shouldn't hurt and might help. I told my ex-therapist (no longer go to one anymore) and he was nothing but supportive and caring. The more they know about your life the better equipped they are to help you. Once again, good luck buddy and get back to me if you want that advice on how to get through withdrawals a little easier.
>>
Charles Dartfoot - Sun, 24 Dec 2017 19:43:47 EST ID:qYjQsfCD No.590281 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590277
Will reply tomorrow
>>
Fanny Gundlewure - Sun, 24 Dec 2017 22:11:37 EST ID:4a9z1/y4 No.590286 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590277
> Is there a reason you can't just stop taking opiates?
I managed to quit for a while after going on a one-dose-every-weekend month+ which left me with really nasty withdrawals and under heavy psychological warfare. Now I relapsed, still only dosing on weekends. I don't understand why I can't quit, is just lack of will, I don't really feel any physical dependence.
>What is your current habit like?
Only at weekends, as I already said.

I just feel really guilty for being so weak and dumb. I've lost all my passions and opiates at least make me feel something, thats the only reason I use them.
My brain was fucked by default (I've been diagnosed bipolar), but I know doing opiates doesnt help. But what else can I do? I'm not one of those men who are strong and "take care of bussines". The only people I relate to are dead people who wrote. I only find temporary comfort in drugs. And even while high on them I still feel like shit.

Wish my story wasn't such a pathetic cliche but it is what it is.
>>
Barnaby Wirringford - Sun, 24 Dec 2017 22:13:57 EST ID:UDQK4I+H No.590287 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You need MORE opiates. I think I speak for most opiate users when I say I do not get depressed before/during opiate use. The feeling I get before I do opiates is mouthwatering. I cannot wait to push off. Then I sink in to nothingness. Depression comes with wd.
>>
Fanny Gundlewure - Sun, 24 Dec 2017 22:19:43 EST ID:4a9z1/y4 No.590288 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590287
It used to be like that for me too but now... it changed.
>>
Barnaby Wirringford - Sun, 24 Dec 2017 22:44:24 EST ID:UDQK4I+H No.590291 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590288

Sorry i thought you were a daily user when I first read your post. If you are making a habit of doing opiates on a weekly/monthly basis, and you are becoming mentally dependent on that feeling to escape you're going to feel severely depressed without them. If you are bi polar, you should get on a anti depressant or anti anxiety pill and stay away from opiates. You'll feel much better in the long run.
>>
Fanny Gundlewure - Sun, 24 Dec 2017 23:49:03 EST ID:4a9z1/y4 No.590293 Ignore Report Quick Reply
1514177343218.jpg -(183103B / 178.81KB, 990x495) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>590291
I'm already on lamotrigine, anti-depressants dont really work for me, tried wellbutrin but it did pretty much nothing aside from making it easier to get up in the morning. I wish I could get my doc to give me anti-anxiety pills because they make me "flow" into life easily, whenever I take them I talk more to people and become more articulate and makes me start taking decisions, small stuff, but in my case even those little things are important, imo at least. Is very unlikely that I will ever sustain a daily use of opis because of money, we all know how expensive they can be, and also because I enjoy being sober. I spent most of my teens ruining my future and my brain smoking weed. What a shitty drug.

As I said in the OP, I don't really know what was it that I was trying to do by making this thread, I was on the comedown of a small oxy dose and feeling very emotional. So, sorry for the blogpost, I guess. And thanks for not being an asshole to me.
I'm just very ashamed of what I've become, I would had never thought I would be like this at the age of 20 when I was a kid.
>>
Clara Goffingshaw - Mon, 25 Dec 2017 00:35:01 EST ID:/fC147rB No.590294 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590293
if you only use weekends its not depression caused by opioids. Maybe opioids make it worse but with such little use it cant be making it THAT much worse. You seem to have regular depression symptoms I'd talk to your therapist and see if you can change up your methods of treating it because it doesn't sound like it is currently being treated as could as it could be.
>>
Martha Pinderchodging - Mon, 25 Dec 2017 16:22:39 EST ID:l1XHlIIt No.590308 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590294
>I'd talk to your therapist and see if you can change up your methods of treating it because it doesn't sound like it is currently being treated as could as it could be.

What else could I do? I'm better than ever and I'm still depressed it seems. Opiates made me feel loved but now it doesnt happen anymore. What can fix me if not even opiates help? Maybe is time to get a gf.
>>
Caroline Turveyfield - Tue, 26 Dec 2017 02:16:40 EST ID:UDQK4I+H No.590317 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590293

I would ask yourself why you made drugs a habit in the first place. Drugs didnt become a problem for me until I had major traumas in my life.

20 is a shitty age to be. I'm 24 rn and can say when I was 20 my life was a complete shit show. You said you're ashamed of what you've become. You can still become something else.
You're only 20 and I'm only 24. Figure what you are trying to bury with drugs and stay positive bro.
>>
Hugh Sellerson - Tue, 26 Dec 2017 04:24:22 EST ID:+J2/zBTa No.590318 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590317
I know what I am trying to bury with drugs... I'm motivated and most people consider me at least average if not above average intellectually but I can't even figure out the #1 most basic thing humans need to figure out. That is what to do with life. Seems most people are working, working toward something, or wrapped up in a hobby. But I just... I just can't figure out how to live like this. Sure I'm taking classes but when (if) I get the degree I don't want to work some 8-6 (including commute and getting ready/changing back to normal clothes). I just don't know what to do with my life and I feel so lost. Its been that way for so long its given me constant anxiety because I'm always feeling like I'm not doing enough and whatever I end up doing never feels like its right or the path I was meant to take. I have no idea how to get out of this funk and therapists haven't seemed to help. I just hope one day a good opportunity smacks me in the face and I live happily ever after from then on out but I've never been very lucky. How do you guys manage to do it? Help me understand.
>>
Hannah Clellylot - Tue, 26 Dec 2017 08:33:40 EST ID:gdDYQE9g No.590321 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590317
Opiates open me up emotionally, is like the complete opposite of "bury"
The other guy isnt me (OP) but I feel the same as him
Is just the state of the contemporary man
>>
Hannah Clellylot - Tue, 26 Dec 2017 08:35:46 EST ID:gdDYQE9g No.590322 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590318
I read literature and philosophy, that usually helps, music too but as time passes it moves me less and less. Aside from those two, drugs
>>
Cedric Fogglewitch - Thu, 28 Dec 2017 18:09:11 EST ID:+J2/zBTa No.590371 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590322
Thanks for response. I have a couple things I do as hobbies or things I sort of enjoy but this daily 10 hour grind shit is overwhelming to me. I can't keep using fentalogues to live day to day (I stop and go every couple weeks before withdrawals get terrible). But even so when I'm not on drugs I hate everything and when I am on drugs I manage to get through OK. I just know this isn't the proper way to live. How do you guys manage to do it? I don't want drugs to be my only answer...
>>
Ernest Bopperchack - Thu, 28 Dec 2017 20:36:23 EST ID:lAwyrRHU No.590372 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590371
>i dont want drugs to be my only answer
ur made of chemicals bro get over it
>>
Simon Chodgehall - Fri, 29 Dec 2017 03:10:12 EST ID:+J2/zBTa No.590388 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590372
Lol thanks for response. Still refuse to believe opioid addiction is the answer to my life's problems. You are right but adding chemicals to more chemicals isn't necessarily the best course. Do you really believe this to be true?
>>
Esther Sogglekug - Fri, 29 Dec 2017 03:14:12 EST ID:asO3vlVd No.590389 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i eat to live, i dont live to eat. i dont want food to be the only answer but it is, save drugs
>>
Esther Fuckingson - Fri, 29 Dec 2017 04:03:19 EST ID:T7flwXWl No.590390 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590372
Yeah, and flooding yourself with exogenous chemicals throws them out of wack. Nice cop out though.
>>
overgrownpath !3g9OJxiR.6 - Sat, 30 Dec 2017 06:05:17 EST ID:jMNPao2a No.590428 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590390
Or in a glass half full perspective - maybe those exogenous chemicals throw everything into balance for some people mannnnmm
>>
Edwin Fanstone - Sat, 30 Dec 2017 12:55:47 EST ID:EUenX0UU No.590433 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590372
retard detected
>>
Nigel Suvingfot - Thu, 11 Jan 2018 20:32:55 EST ID:sxQrlBQY No.590940 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590318

I work the typical 8-6 and haven't done any opiates in a few months. It sucks... but I just think back to the end of trainspotting.. "choose life" and all the bullshit that comes with it. When your 18 - 23 and you have above average intellect school is very easy and you won't feel like your accomplishing anything. Definetly get a degree if its within reach but the best thing you could do rn is save some money, move away from everyone you know and start over. Try to pursue something your passionate about because your making your passion drugs.
>>
Albert Lightbanks - Thu, 11 Jan 2018 22:35:36 EST ID:skPrSln+ No.590951 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590390
>>590433
hes right though, "sobriety" is nothing more than getting off on being morale. its an absurd concept. they only difference between a drug and food is how intense it is/social stigma

n e way thx4 bumping this train wreck
>>
Fuck Dunkinlock - Thu, 11 Jan 2018 23:13:44 EST ID:hz1Ic75u No.590952 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590372
holy shit dude way to project ur own delusion about ur habit onto other ppl
>>
overgrownpath !3g9OJxiR.6 - Fri, 12 Jan 2018 03:59:52 EST ID:jMNPao2a No.590961 Ignore Report Quick Reply
An obscene habit? Meh, there are far worse habits to engage in I think. Most of the percieved 'obscenity' of opioid use are the result of abritrary societal stigma which I pay no mind to. You should do the same. Human beings like to feel good - you are no different. There's nothing abnormal about using drugs like opioids recreationally. Don't fall into that super-dramatic trap about how much of a 'junkie' loser you are for using these drugs blah blah blah... it's a pointless endevaour and can also become a self-fulfilling orophecy - if you believe you're a worthless addict, then that's what you will live your life as.

However, I'm not suggesting that you delude yourself about opioid use - there's no doubt that they can become a harmful influence in your life. But keep a level-headed perspective as hard as that can be when you're examining your own life.

Anyway, yes, I talk to my psychologist about my drug use which naturally includes my heroin addiction etc. And it has only been helpful - therapy won't be very useful if you hold back key information, and it seems to me that your drug use weighs very heavily on your mind. If your therapist doesn't know about that, how can they properly give you the advice and tools you need to cope with it all? And look, they're a therapist for god's sake, they aren't going to judge you, they're going to help you.

Take it easy OP and don't be so hard on yourself. You are not a bad or lesser person for using opiates.
>>
Martha Honeybury - Fri, 12 Jan 2018 21:25:38 EST ID:T7flwXWl No.590986 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590951
>"sobriety" is nothing more than getting off on being morale

That's a pretty strange definition of sobriety. Being a judgemental fuckwit isn't a necessary part of sobriety it's just a side effect for some Also, that difference in intensity between a drug and food is a crucial difference. Oh and the fact that you need one of those two things to survive and not the other. Can you use your skill and judgement to tell me which is which?

I wasn't moralising, just stating facts, if you take opiates long term your body gets used to being on them - this isn't new information. There's no moral judgement, it's just a matter of practicality you need more drugs for the same effect and you will feel even worse when you don't have them. If you can make that work for you then more power to you.
>>
Jarvis Bummlefuck - Tue, 16 Jan 2018 01:23:52 EST ID:ASRG7EQY No.591078 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>590961
Tell me at least 50% of the true addict population you know (and no, not the educated ones that like to hang out on this imageboard) aren't utter scum.


>>590940
This guy said it, OP. It's cliche and whatever but for the vast majority of people, using opies is going to end up badly. You're probably in that group.
>>
Thomas de Queasy - Tue, 16 Jan 2018 06:13:53 EST ID:8fTNJe2A No.591079 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>591078
Tell me at least 50% of humanity isn't utter scum. To be honest I'd go up to 98%, but that would be scummy would it not, dear?


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