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What were you doing when you got hooked? by Clara Buzzforth - Wed, 07 Mar 2018 03:52:36 EST ID:D77wE/Dh No.593309 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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What were you doing in your life when you relied on opiates?

Were you down or up? Were you depressed? Were you homeless or in a good mental position? How did you feel about the general outlook in life that you turned to opiates? Did you actively search them out or were they just given to you? I wanna hear the stories and maybe then I can have a healthy relationship to my pain meds again.
Oliver Babblefat - Wed, 07 Mar 2018 05:35:37 EST ID:JM/zTIWu No.593313 Ignore Report Quick Reply
griefing on 1.6 and Source, laughing my ass off
Shitting Smallhall - Wed, 07 Mar 2018 13:27:42 EST ID:E0MOwXYJ No.593327 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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i don't think i'm nearly as addicted as some people on this board but one of the best and worst weeks of my life was when i stole my sister's codeine pills, it was such a dick move but i was so fucked and high i just kept taking them not really processing what i was doing more than i wanted to keep feeling what i was feeling. at the time i had just gotten out of a series of fairly long term emotionally abusive & shitty relationships and i had gotten hooked on my newly prescribed kpin perscription; that was really what opened my eyes to the world of pharma abuse. my sister had recently come home from college in the UK and i figured that if i was gonna take benzos i might as well go all the way (which was a fucking stupid idea). it really was all just to numb the pain and confusion that i was feeling at the time, but in the end ever since that week i've never been able to fully stop thinking about codeine, i've taken it a few more times since then and my curiosity about other opioids like oxy & hydro codone/morphone has skyrocketed. it feels like it's only a matter of time before i end up copping some and i'm getting kind of scared... i know i shouldn't but it's like i've got this little fucking goblin on my shoulder 24/7 that keeps reminding me how much i want to
Matilda Brummernen - Wed, 07 Mar 2018 13:35:34 EST ID:lMx36jD7 No.593329 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Big Brofist.
Oxys and Counter Strike go surprisingly well.
Martin Poffingstudge - Wed, 07 Mar 2018 16:12:46 EST ID:0FasZHxa No.593332 Ignore Report Quick Reply
California High School. Not cool enough to be normal. Reckless enough to try any drug in a group. And here I am. Our shitty "ringleader" had died, and me and my best friend still use H from time to time.
Martha Pimmerweck - Wed, 07 Mar 2018 21:24:18 EST ID:pjV+EiUJ No.593341 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>just expelled from high school
>all friends turn their backs on me
My parent's pain killers became my only friend
Cedric Wunderford - Thu, 08 Mar 2018 18:08:50 EST ID:AKeRR+5+ No.593368 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I was living on my own for the first time @ roughly 20 years old in a big city working in financial services. Making roughly 100k a year, with several thousand in the bank when I started. Went more or less straight to IV heroin -- it gave me relief from my long term health problems, made me more confident, basically made me feel like a normal person for once.

Couple of years later I was broke, in debt, involved with very dangerous people doing dangerous drug deals that could've landed me years in jail, resigned from my job because I couldn't maintain my previously high performance.

Lost everything more or less. Got fucked real good. Just trying to pick up the pieces now and get back to where I was those years ago. It feels shitty to have made it, then lost it, and now struggling to try and make it again
Oliver Denderdale - Thu, 08 Mar 2018 22:43:22 EST ID:tiKPV/Ip No.593370 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I was 20years old and started having Flashback open eye visual hallucinations that would take over my waking vision cover it, making me depressed and very scared during and lose sight of my own body and body sensations. Would happen at least once a day and it made me very suicidal cause no idea how to get rid of them and nothing I did or thought helped.

I research all drugs I do before hand and I never used Opiates but I remembered someone saying they worked for not just physical pain but mental pain, emotional, even a broken heart. So I next suddenly remembered that I had an acquaintance told me 1/2 year ago that he knew a guy that could get HEROIN. I figured it'd be cheaper and I wanted to handle this myself and not end up in psyche hospitals and labeled crazy and have to suffer though many ranges of meds that won't work good enough.

Oliver Denderdale - Thu, 08 Mar 2018 22:52:40 EST ID:tiKPV/Ip No.593371 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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So I drove with the Acquaintance and the guy that could get it. We went over North side Minneapolis to some Ghetto block and gave dude $80 like he told me and watched him walk off around the block corner. Now I'm like shit he's just gonna dip and do it all himself nice trust, but my man came back! fast!

Soon as I snorted a fat line back at his parents house. 5mins later I'm glowing and have no worries man. Didn't hallucinate once that day ! Next as long as I did at least one medium bump up the dose a day I wouldn't suffer and hallucinate.

I remembered reading don't do opiates more than everyday for 2 weeks or you'll get sick. I blew past the two weeks mark cuz I figured the sickness was all hype and no big deal. I never ran out any morning or ever cause I had Trust Fund $40,000 and I'd always buy a few $80 bags and buy more when down to one full one left.

It took me til I was down to $30,000 left that I realized finally through solo talking to dealer that bags were actually $40 and dude who started me on it had his deal with dealer that gave himself an extra bag for everyone I bought and he only showed me his money rarely but said he was spending it sometimes but would ask me for shot out of my bag too if he didn't have cash that day. Lol

It's cool though because I forgave him and 5 years later when he became an Oz every few days Meth dealer he probably smoked me up with at least $10,000 worth of Shards over 1 year. >

Gotta have faith in Karma guys it just might take 5-10years. Eventually I cold turkey quit every time in jail until I didn't go back to it. By then the hallucinations and despair never returned. Thank you universe!!
Oliver Denderdale - Thu, 08 Mar 2018 22:56:10 EST ID:tiKPV/Ip No.593372 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Oh btw the hallucinations were caused by PTSD from a Salvia D. trip
Sidney Dartwill - Fri, 09 Mar 2018 02:13:31 EST ID:dT4XGZEB No.593376 Ignore Report Quick Reply
So you have rich parents? is that what it means to have “made it”?
Ernest Pockson - Fri, 09 Mar 2018 02:17:20 EST ID:HMAdIcLn No.593378 Ignore Report Quick Reply
yeah, because you absolutely can't have some money in bank without rich parents
when you grow up you will understand that people can work and earn money
nz !!vVWR8L52 - Fri, 09 Mar 2018 04:22:21 EST ID:U7eLIZ+X No.593386 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Been thinking this a lot lately and been trying to piece together important points in the timeline. Because I can't really remember. The crowd I hung with started to splinter and putter out. Everything was so cool for ages. Like partying all the time, places to go and people to see. It just died. At one point I never had to make plans. You'd just show up at this flat or that one. There were new ones popping up when one shut down. But that whole thing just died. It was cool while it lasted. I met so many cool people.

But yeah, for ages doing that had made being unemployed or doing uninspiring work fun. But suddenly it was like it all sputtered and died. It was like there was nothing to do when before there was so much fun thins going on everywhere I didn't know which to do. I remember taking it bad when my friend moved overseas. Then another one did. Then I was smoking weed to go to sleep. Then I did opiates and they made me happy and okay with boredom. Just getting them was distracting enough and gave me a new goal. Time flew and it's been over a decade and it's like a blink. I have no idea where the time went. I never thought I'd still be alive now and had no plans for when I got here.
Caroline Sammlegold - Fri, 09 Mar 2018 05:31:42 EST ID:AKeRR+5+ No.593392 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Parents gave me literally nothing (I'm that poster btw)

I got the fucking job and made the fucking money working my ass off in a crazy competitive field getting three promotions in as many years. Sorry but go fuck yourself. I "made it" through work ethic, intellect and a drive to succeed
Caroline Sammlegold - Fri, 09 Mar 2018 05:35:40 EST ID:AKeRR+5+ No.593394 Ignore Report Quick Reply
It's as if you didn't read my entire post where I explained (at a high-level at least) the circumstances that lead up to my moderate success. My parents aren't super poor or anything but they had nothing to do with where I was, I did that all on my fucking own and I ruined it all on my own.

I probably shouldn't get annoyed like this at your shitpost but it did kind of irk me. Whatever, nb
Lydia Winderwell - Fri, 09 Mar 2018 18:24:46 EST ID:ZYq32Vfe No.593422 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Fuck that guy. Prob some douche living in his moms basement who thinks if he had rich parents he wouldnt be a loser. The most successful people I know had poor parents but ones who really gave a shit about them.

I'm curious to hear more about your story. I'm working in finance rn and am in my 20s. I'm currently clean but use to use very heavily. Part of me thinks if I had a connect I would use to be more confident at work. A lot of times being young and new to the company I feel awkward/insecure. Did you use at all before you started working? Why did you decide to start using? Were you still focusing on your career or did opi completely start to consume your life?
David Drublingspear - Mon, 12 Mar 2018 03:33:08 EST ID:824Z8+Kw No.593500 Ignore Report Quick Reply
have you ever wanted to make plans?
do you regret these 10 years?
Martha Billingdock - Tue, 13 Mar 2018 08:53:45 EST ID:uxk4/VFh No.593517 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I've been hooked plenty of times, but I might as well talk about the most recent since I'm still addicted and this is by far the lowest an opi habit has ever taken me
>let an addict move in with me because I wanted to live with someone I could fuck and get high with
>pretty much immediately relapse again but I didn't care because the shit was free (unknown fentalogues sold as dope lol)
>had never been addicted to fentalogues before, thought it'd be like dope or dilly w/d
>w/d is ACTUALLY WAY FUCKIN WORSE, full body extreme restlessness and panic attacks
>product stops being free
>get mostly clean
>all this time she hadn't payed me SHIT towards rent so I was picking up the tab
>make a bunch of money on crypto
>around this time try PST
>use it on days I couldn't score to cure w/d
>suddenly crypto starts crashing
>lose nearly all my money in 2 weeks
>want to die, around the same time lose all my good plugs
>whatever I'll just use what's left to get high
>jolly african-american that used to sell dope became jolly african-american that only sells fentalogues for almost twice what he used to charge for D
>shit lasts 2 hours so my habit runs me $150 a day
>2 months later
>flat broke, barely paying rent because I've been covering for my addict roommate who got addicted to fuckin clam by getting into my stash
>no fuckin bud
>no gabapentin
>power bill is months behind
>finally able to get real H again
>gonna try to get on subs just so I can actually stay off the shit for a while because I can't afford the habit
Really did spiral out of control this time. Maybe if I'm on that shit and actually CAN'T get high on opi for a while I can sort my shit out
Ian Havingdock - Tue, 13 Mar 2018 11:46:28 EST ID:xBxo/gUQ No.593518 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I was actually in a pretty good place, I was 20, just graduated high school, worked a pretty well paying job for someone with just a diploma, just got an awesome gf. What led me to start using, was, I was chipping before I got that gf, we'll call her N, and I was still feeling depressed and like I'd die alone, I was a virgin at the time, and when I got my gf, I'd already fallen into everyday use, so there was no turning back. Then we broke up and that led to me using even more.
Shit Heddlebit - Wed, 14 Mar 2018 02:33:09 EST ID:O2eEpx1k No.593537 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Why do people keep fucking with (especially IV) fentalogs? W H Y ? Ok, some fentalogs are ok, like the one that has 3-4hr half life, that one could be like possible to sustain on. Otherwise fentalogs have 0 euphoria, last 20 minutes and fuckkin rip yer tolly a new 1 m80. When i would spend $150/day on fent by day 3 I always said this sucks, and chances are son wont have real h if i pick up today so theres no reason. Why do people do this to themselves? Its like a pretty lame way to kill yourself, at least real heroin feels good and people at least remember you as bein a hard cunt. dead from fent? fucking histrionic millennial pos statistic (ie lil pump xanax kid)

To answer OP, i was rock bottom and wanted to get lower, rock bottom could be far far worse. Overall pretty much saved my life and taught me a lot, only wish i went full dope ahead a few years earlier. are you looking for positive opioid enabling stories? Ill share some when i'm in a typing mood later
Angus Wumblesutch - Sun, 18 Mar 2018 22:51:04 EST ID:CU2SHGkJ No.593701 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I was in a very similar predicament my friend, took me about 2 years to get back to where i started :/ but as long as you stay cool and learn from your mistakes it will be ok
RxAnne - Mon, 19 Mar 2018 02:25:48 EST ID:V/ID+guP No.593709 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Cancer. pills pushed to the point of 5000mg of APAP a day (prescribed), eventually put on norco>morphine and then oxy and oxy was what triggered the addict/abuser in me. went to rehab but from the cancer I've still had a ton of medical procedures/surgeries and I have to rely on them so I just do my best not to die I guess.
Shit Cliffingwure - Mon, 19 Mar 2018 14:48:31 EST ID:pqduf3Sv No.593718 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I was a socially anxious NEET and i couldn't bring myself to get a job. I has used tramadol once or twice but hit the motherload when i was helping clean out my grandmother's house who was moving into a retirement home and found a bunch of oxy/codeine/tramadol. I binged on the oxy for a month but found that the tramadol made me feel content with myself and like i could do anything without feeling anxious. So i used the tramadol as a tool to get a job and deal with social events. That was an amazing period of my life. Eventually i started using the tramadol everyday, my job got worse (12hr shifts in bad conditions) and i was getting depressed and bored of tramadol. So i started adding codeine into the mix, then pst, then just straight up shooting heroin. After a while i failed a drug test, went to detox and got clean for a short while. Now im back to shooting h and using bupe/pst to maintain. Also back to being NEET just bumming around with my gf.
nz !!vVWR8L52 - Tue, 20 Mar 2018 11:35:43 EST ID:YAMC5HMB No.593748 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yes, I've gotten better at it lately. Like getting better all the time. Though I can go from doing good, thinking ahead a few weeks and planning accordingly to slipping back to taking it a few hours at a time and not thinking further than the day of the week which is payday and how long away that is.

Don't regret it really but I wish I didn't get so many charges. Not to mention such hefty ones.
Archie Tootfoot - Tue, 20 Mar 2018 15:50:08 EST ID:lkC47Phu No.593766 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I've used since 16, but it has always been at least with extremely rigid harm reduction policies intact, or at best, a purely recreational occasional relationship. It was love at first sip and when I fall in love, I strategize to make it last.

So growing up for me was just working my ass off while dreaming about listening to 50s lounge music while being rich as fuck in a bachelor pad. On dope obviously.

I got that and everything. Now I feel I've seen everything. I've seen visions, revelations, the rock bottom, Tokyo, raves, the academia, the startup world, real friendships, creative circles, love in it's all manifestations. What's left I realize, is to keep working my ass off because I'll be in steady inherited debt till I'm old. Plus, I feel lonely after so many years of high functioning yuppie life, so I got myself a relationship as unhappy as any.

I feel 68 but I'm 24 and just experiencing my first taper from a 3 month binge. The next one will be longer. I hope I find my young self for at least some years still. Maybe I'll try philanthropy. I wonder how's a combo of philanthropy and heroin.
Lillian Socklehood - Tue, 20 Mar 2018 18:50:33 EST ID:3u5GnzEc No.593770 Ignore Report Quick Reply
only thing you've seen was some dope induced hallucination man, life was hard because you made it that way, that's some shit you realise after many years
Nathaniel Pavingfuck - Wed, 21 Mar 2018 04:14:35 EST ID:flOZc7Xt No.593777 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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sounds like you have a good perspective on opioids but a poor perspective on life. but what do i know, i dont dream of being a rich philanthropic junkie in lifelong debt
Archie Hinkinnick - Thu, 22 Mar 2018 13:46:08 EST ID:y7qKDltQ No.593829 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I made life easy for me, you got it all wrong. Despite being born to debt, I got everything I ever wanted by 24. Out of the list of things I've seen, maybe only the rock bottom was exaggeration.

I became opioid dependent only recently, out of dread. It's dreadful that I have to transition from an awesome youth to seeing my parents die, clearing that debt, getting old and continuing my career in a late capitalist mess of a society.

You're right, my perspective on life is somehow damaged. I used to wonder how can people be so endlessly miserable, when there is an endless array of awesome distractions. Endless superficial manifestations of beautiful universal truths.
Beatrice Tootham - Thu, 22 Mar 2018 14:17:51 EST ID:3u5GnzEc No.593830 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I know how it is man, I also fell into trap of "making life simple" and I could also say that I have everything I wanted - but that's only because I gave up on so many things along the way

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