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#qq on IRC by Mintzs !GD3wBpep0Y - Sun, 13 Aug 2017 12:14:49 EST ID:d5kHsYag No.518069 Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hi folks,

If you're looking to talk to someone immediately about any problems you have in your life and have nobody close to you, come and speak to us!

Join us on IRC on #qq. Most of us have different time zones but if you stay there, one of us will be there.

Don't be afraid to speak up.
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Cedric Pickbanks - Sun, 12 Nov 2017 01:29:12 EST ID:ZMDYtLUz No.519959 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>every poly arrangment I've seen or even read about has involved several stable couples coming together. Not everyone has to be poly though

The problem with these is that they're basically just threesome groups.

I despise poly'amorous' relationships because there's no actual love involved. You want a third for fucking. If you tell me you want a third for anything else you're a lying shit. You want a third because muh variety. Fine. Be honest about it. Don't bullshit people along with this idea that love is cheap, because it's not. It never is.
Jenny Clashhood - Sun, 12 Nov 2017 07:04:41 EST ID:KbKvqV7e No.519963 Ignore Report Quick Reply
They weren't threesome groups.

There were definitely primary and secondary couples but there was never a threesome. And there was definitely emotional involvement and/or love. I knew I still know one, this was one of the messier breakups these people so you're not going to persuade me you know them better. I don't want to go into the personal details of my friend's personal life but the breakup made it clear he lost more than just a warm hole or even a friend with benefits when he lost his second partner. But she was his second partner.

They weren't going with cheap free love though. These were people who put a lot of effort and thought into making it work, and ironically fell into normal relationship pitfalls. Maybe these arrangements are really rare (the exceptions that prove the rule or whatever) but I know what I saw.
Cedric Pickbanks - Sun, 12 Nov 2017 16:35:04 EST ID:ZMDYtLUz No.519967 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Plenty of people say they see it, none ever step forward for perusal. I've seen many more times people hurt by the mad desire for a third over helped.

Justifying by Eugene Pillyway - Sun, 19 Nov 2017 04:13:07 EST ID:RLper1nr No.520137 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I think an outside opinion would help me best at this. I cannot rattle out the thought that me being here is some kind of a mistake. Mostly in the sense that reasoning obtaining a life worth living on some basic level would have suffering to a minimum. I do not mean just life events but being able to perceive everyday actions as well.

I guess it has been hard to fully explain. If every thought and action you committed felt wrong at your very core and were constantly in capable of feeling any lasting positive emotions, would you want to continue on? I feel like I have exhausted nearly all possible methods of altering these thought patterns but in the end this is me.

I would attempt to turn to others for support, really anyone. Family, friends, intimate ones.. No one can aid me with communal/intimate support to alleviate these thoughts. If anything, seeking out others to talk to makes me feel more alienated.

Anyone experiencing similar thoughts has more justification for being upset than I do. I mean, other people have experienced life events that bring mine to be at best a shadow of in comparison. Or, I encounter people who do not seem to perceive themselves negatively and even are capable of expressing compassion to their self. I do not know why I am writing this. Maybe I just need to see it out of my head.
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Betsy Dinnerbury - Sun, 19 Nov 2017 06:22:55 EST ID:msgauNWX No.520146 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Betsy Harringfuck - Sun, 19 Nov 2017 11:36:03 EST ID:VRfnTuq2 No.520150 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I used to believe in God, when I stopped I felt like my life had no meaning, it sucked, then I realized that is there isn't anyone or anything to give things meaning or significance, I have every right to believe I give my own life meaning, significance, and purpose. Now I believe that all life has value, it just does. Understand we're all in this thing together, and you, me, the guy or girl who cuts your hair, and whoever are all equally meaningless and equally meaningful. It's totally okay and you can enjoy your life. I think you should because it's all we've got. It is what you make it, and you control your own path. That's pretty cool in my opinion and now I feel that if something or someone else determined my value that would actually be kind of bad. Go out and try to get what, persist and keep you head up and looking forward. Why does there need to be a why for us to be important?
Walter Nudgeforth - Sun, 19 Nov 2017 14:45:04 EST ID:6OmeeR23 No.520153 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If there's no higher form of value there's nothing that means yours might have equals but there is none higher. If nothing matters then it doesn't matter if you're wrong about this. We do have certain characteristics and drive that give us pleasure but this includes the wellbeing of others and life is not always a zero sum game so that does not mean you have to be a shit to be happy. In fact I suspect on the whole mutually beneficial engagements with people willing to engage in the same is generally going to work out best for you.

I agree with you in short. Though no one cuts my hair really. Not sure how relevant this is to OP's problem though. OP is clearly depressed but perhaps among other things. I'm not sure this as much about purpose as some sort of pattern of thought where they impose or have imposed on them this feeling of wrongness like impostor syndrome for existing. It's also possible that OP is really great and suffers from a level of self awareness that is both exceptionally high and not balanced by an awareness of how others are by comparison or even with that is so caught up in the negativity they cannot see that the world has continued to turn thus far and amazing things have actually happened despite that.
Emma Smallstock - Sun, 19 Nov 2017 15:57:32 EST ID:8+Df40Ju No.520154 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Emma Smallstock - Sun, 19 Nov 2017 16:01:43 EST ID:8+Df40Ju No.520155 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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anybody else a fucking loser? by Henry Blommleforth - Thu, 02 Nov 2017 23:48:05 EST ID:O1saLBUb No.519791 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Anybody else a fucking loser?
>skinny fat, want to be in good shape
>$12 an hour shipping and receiving job, got it today
>serial job hop, on my 6th job this year because I get jobs just to escape where im working and its always just as bad if not worse, or just doesnt pay
>can't stop raving, quit way way way back on drugs though despite rolling last week, nothing like i used to, love bassnectar shows
>live in shitty apartment under business in shit ass town
>weird connection to the town i grew up in where everybody is a fucking townie loser
>my grandma always shows me pics of old friends i grew up with hanging out at local bars and wonders why im not like them, it bothers the fucking shit out of me
>want to get an apprenticeship, can't find one
>want to become a jacked up bro, too lazy, dont have the money to eat, not disciplined for shit
>want to learn music theory, cant hold attention span
>when im off and not at shows i sit in my underwear and play diablo 2 and watch joe rogan all day
>~30k in debt (thats an exaggeration, probly closer to 20)
>Cars a broke ass pos, driving my parents spare car, getting my car fixed soon
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Edward Piffingway - Fri, 03 Nov 2017 14:36:25 EST ID:F6BBbLXR No.519802 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>everybody is a fucking townie loser

Graham Grandridge - Fri, 03 Nov 2017 18:25:37 EST ID:V7JGOwDJ No.519804 Ignore Report Quick Reply
if it's any help, you sound insufferable
Ebenezer Doblingwat - Sun, 05 Nov 2017 10:35:11 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.519836 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Everybody is a loser. Everybody is a garbage human being on the inside. Nobody that's lived past the age of 3 is free of guilt or truly good people on the inside when it comes to their motivations, especially the unconscious ones.

People can only be "good" by doing good things because they consciously recognize their evil, dark, and shit stained nature exists and familiarize themselves with it so they can proactively make a vigilant effort to utilize that nature in ways that have a positive net benefit for themselves and the people around them. If you fail to utilize that or, worse, even recognize that part of yourself and consider yourself incapable of being that pathetic, disgusting, and depraved, then it finds ways of influencing your behavior to let itself out and at times exerts so much control over somebody that they feel as though somebody else entirely took control of their body and wind up horrified and shocked at the reality of what they've done.

According to the rather nebulous standards of what makes somebody a loser, everybody fails more than they succeed. Everybody has difficulty controlling their vices and doing what they know they should be doing. Everybody makes fun of people less fortunate than them because it makes them feel better to cover up how pathetic they actually realize they are themselves.

Nobody has any idea what they're actually doing in life and just make shit up as they go, building pillars to base their lives around and identities on just to use as a crutch. Some people need that crutches so badly that they completely avoid traveling on any kind of untrodden, unfamiliar, rocky paths out of the legitimate fear that the stress will cause that crutches to snap into pieces and without them they'll be stuck futilely crawling on the ground just to die a slow, agonizing, and meaningless death with no hope of ever finding anything else they can use to prop themselves up again to get around with two permanently broken legs.

What winners win really just ammounts to getting repairs to and reinforcing the strength of their crutches. The truth is the more you rely on building pillars to base your life around like that, the more you depend on them and n…
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Matilda Nurringman - Sun, 19 Nov 2017 11:52:44 EST ID:2X869tbp No.520151 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You've never met my mom apparently. Lol
Fuck Sablingfig - Sun, 19 Nov 2017 13:21:17 EST ID:t/ywvlCl No.520152 Ignore Report Quick Reply

This guy gets it. Absolutely no one on this planet is the perfect person, and everyone is fucking terrible at a lot of things. Even the successful ones are garbage at things that "lesser" people then them excel at.
Choose what you want to be successful at. Do you want to be a good person? Work at it. Make an effort to do things differently, It won't happen overnight, and it probably won't happen for a good while, but at the end of the road you will come out a better person for it.
Do you want to have money? Save up. Make better decisions with the money you have and only pay for the essentials. Learn to be a minimalist, and if you already are (by choice or not) learn to live happily with what you have. Consumerism is rampant in today's society, and a lot of people don't realize that they don't need half of the shit they have or want to live a happy life. You will have more money for yourself and basic needs because you aren't spending it on shit you don't need.

Really, it just comes down to what you want out of life. With what you have now, you could be considered a fucking king compared to millions, hell, BILLIONS of people on this planet. I would be pretty happy with that if I were you.

Trying not to commit suicide (ideation) by Phineas Bucklemat - Sun, 19 Nov 2017 08:45:12 EST ID:JI9kO00V No.520148 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So, to start, this isnt a thread about commiting suicide. Its more a question of how can I stop thinking about wanting to do it all the time.

Usually I can get by, and my crying fits were not very frequent. Outside of being miserable, I could get by. But I dont know how well Im going to do this year (holidays). Ever since I came back from the Army, people cant stand me (always anxious and hypervigilante in social settings), and there is literally no home for me here. I dont have family (lucky enough to be the one to find my mother and uncle dead), my wife cheated on me on deployment, and I have no family left (Dad commited suicide when I was 6, but he ran off when I was born).

I dont believe I should be alive, my crying fits have gotten so bad, I spend HOURS crying on and off uncontrollably. I dont see anymore point as I will NEVER get to have family of my own, and regular society is sick of dealing with people like me. My depression gets so bad I begin to feel exhausted and sick from how intense my thoughts are getting (like my mind ran a marathon and used energy from my entire body).

I just dont know what to do anymore... All I can think to do is fake it until I make it. I mean, they're giving me my Masters in Computer Sciences for free, I get to be alive when Ive seen SO many others dead, and die. But I cant find the gratitude in what I have as enough to outweigh the suicidal thoughts.

I desperately want to get better, but therapy and drugs dont work. Anyone have any luck in struggles in their life?

Any advice is greatly appreciated guys. Ive posted here before, and the only advice that seems to work comes from every one of you. I think because you guys arent scared to be frank and honest, and that helps a lot.
Phineas Brinninghall - Sun, 19 Nov 2017 11:30:14 EST ID:w1xq6GLK No.520149 Ignore Report Quick Reply
When I was at my worst and wanted to die, and I mean after total mental collapse, I sold everything I could and went on an adventure. I figured I’d rather die on the road than by putting a bullet in my head or overdosing.

Funny enough, sleeping outside and fighting to survive showed me how much I truly wanted to live. Finding a few quarters or a good cigarette on the ground made me happier than any present I got as a kid. Getting a fizzy drink and enjoying it from a high bridge, I savored experiences like that to the point of tears.

Now that I’ve come back to society I find value in peace, comfort, and predictability. Getting out of the rat race and chaos of society let me see it from another angle and appreciate its beauty.

I’m one hell of a lonely person, and my situation was different from yours, but here’s my advice-

If you truly have nothing left to live for, throw your life away in the most constructive way you can. Go hike the Pacific Crest Trail, or hitchhike from your tow to another country and make your way to some amazing destination.

It will be real tough but you might look back and see all the good in life once you get out there and live it.

It's so eeeasy not to try by Betsy Dinnerbury - Sun, 19 Nov 2017 08:20:22 EST ID:msgauNWX No.520147 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Let the world go drifting byyy
If you never say hellooo
You won't have to say goodbyeee

It's so easy not to tryyy
Never stay around to cryyy
Move along when troubles come
Like a mindless butterflyyy

For what good is it to LOOOVE
When the loving always ends
Travel on the road that's straight
Not the one with hills and beeends

It's so easy not to tryyy
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Started to hate children by Intricate Urology - Thu, 16 Nov 2017 03:21:33 EST ID:uDCgIcJL No.520066 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've been working as a pediatrician for 5 years and enjoyed my job
but burned out at some point
due to too inhumane working-hours and not enough time to relax.

Then my parents got badly injured in a car-crash, both got bedridden and unfortunately died maybe a month later due to complications in their spines and internal organs.

I was devastated. Couldn't work anymore and needed 3 years to somehow recover.
I quit my nursery job because it took its toll on me
and tried to get a foot into IT-tech, but had zero luck.

At some point I got a call from a state-funded youth-office and they've been looking for social workers.
A good friend of mine suggested me!

So, yeah.
It started really great.
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Molly Siffingforth - Sat, 18 Nov 2017 07:04:21 EST ID:+3sKShBm No.520125 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If you live in a modernized country that provides social services and you hate your job so much that you are going to take antidepressants, why would you not just quit. Just actually do it. You were a doctor so you obviously have an education, just go chase something else, most of the time even beginning to look will relight your fire. I feel terrible for you, but i think that stagnation has (probably) impacted you even more than the events that started your depression. I don't mean to be a dick and say that you need to move on because those things are minor, that is not what I mean. Rather, you need to move on for you, because you owe it to yourself to try (everyone has a responsibility to themselves), and you owe it to fortune because you can try (some people can't even walk). Go make progress, stagnation is death.
Hugh Clibberson - Sat, 18 Nov 2017 08:20:54 EST ID:dJGuoqo1 No.520127 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You need to take time out, work in a different sector for a while. I don't know where you are but in my country social workers are often on rotas, so at least a few months of the year they can do desk jobs and de-stress. They also get free counselling. This is what you deserve, but you aren't getting it, so find a way to provide yourself with it. Find a way to get a few months away, or even a year, that will allow you to go back again when you are rested.

I think that if you had the support you needed you would be okay, this is all your employer's fault, not the job, not the kids.
Wesley Pemmlestock - Sat, 18 Nov 2017 08:41:38 EST ID:w1xq6GLK No.520128 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What reason do you even have for posting this? He said he was a pediatrician for 5 years and quit. He was probably a pediatrician for 5 years then quit. You sound bitter as fuck.

OP you sound like you’ve legitimately had a bad life for a while now. I don’t have much good advice because those problems are so heavy. I will say I hate kids too. I was a teacher for several years and it was similar. The administration and staff were pretty frustrating to work with and the kids were just horrible. At its core it felt like a sales job except the customers were only there because their parents made them go. And children are unbelievably cruel to each other.
Walter Fuckingshaw - Sat, 18 Nov 2017 16:11:29 EST ID:UIGxwzNr No.520132 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You're burnt out. For the love of god quit your job.
Additional Bugs - Sun, 19 Nov 2017 05:25:49 EST ID:MvqmKnOi No.520139 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Dude, you could be me!

I started to hate my job nearly 6 years in, and I still don't know how I managed to cew through these fucking 6 years!

Same game: Administration, Teachers and superiors didn't give any fuck,
promised me to transfer me to a better job (social-worker for children with disabilities!) and it got worse every day.

I seriously burnt out
it started with shaky hands every time I went to work, migraine and stomach-pain,
went to the doc and pulled the emergency brakes.

Got sick-pay for two months now and I am using the time to find another job.

NO job is worth getting your brain fried for!

Yojimbo by Ernest Fossleshaw - Wed, 15 Nov 2017 03:20:33 EST ID:Uq1BbSqM No.520028 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Many of you are pretending like I was dead, but the truth is that I've been married and moved to Australia.
Now I'm a daddy of 2 kids, and my life is great. So eat my shit haters
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Graham Bangerkadge - Fri, 17 Nov 2017 17:21:01 EST ID:La64au5G No.520111 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>no trip
>magically isnt a fatass living in moms basement in ireland anymore
>had two kids in the span of 3years
>cant even fill in the blank to the phrase he coined himself
>gets the country he lived in wrong.

checkmate son imposter confirmed
Martin Mebberlot - Fri, 17 Nov 2017 23:11:26 EST ID:BoXXADnx No.520120 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You've embarrassed yourself more than the OP tbh.
John Pullerway - Sat, 18 Nov 2017 03:59:58 EST ID:Hx/5rY4q No.520122 Ignore Report Quick Reply
my nigra plz i dont give a fuck what idiots on an anonymous imageboard think.

i just dont feel people should disrespect an old friend.
Yojimbo - Sat, 18 Nov 2017 11:45:13 EST ID:cQVE87eB No.520130 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You're such a good friend.
Emma Bocklelore - Sat, 18 Nov 2017 21:59:26 EST ID:37djlT33 No.520136 Ignore Report Quick Reply
The ruse is up no ones buying your bullshit



help me break this off by Emma Clayham - Thu, 16 Nov 2017 00:20:53 EST ID:qnpf4h+M No.520055 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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please help me end this casual relationship. i'm 25, she's 28. we met on okcupid, we've hung out twice in two weeks and had sex. this girl is not very attractive, verging on but not quite "okay", but she had big biiiig boobs and i was horny. the most unattractive thing about her though is that she is beginning to emotionally invest in me. i hope it's not true, but i think it is. i think she's depressed, maybe i'm something of a interesting event in her otherwise work grinding life. again, i hope i'm wrong, but i don't think i am. i didn't want to hurt her, i was just really horny, and we were talking a bunch about life and stuff. if i was her, i'd want to know, but there's a part of me that wants to be shitty and ignore it and hope it goes away. i don't want to see her again. but i hate ripping the bandaid off. she's clinging. it feels gross. i don't want to subject myself to it but i know she's in pain. i don't want to take on her shitty energy. i have enough problems

i'm gonna relay a bit of our convo lately.
>Good luck on your paper
>Thanks, have fun with your sister
>Hey, are you free sometime this week?
>Nope, school's back on for now
>her: You did say you had class monday to thursday. sorry i must have forgot
>her: well next time we spend time together, we need to have a curfew so you can get your work done
>her: I passed my exams! yay!
>me: lol well that must be a relief. congrats
>her: i've been happy dancing all day
>her: i'm off tomorrow and feel like celebrating. are you available after class tomorrow?

i want to send her the following
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Fanny Hammerbork - Sat, 18 Nov 2017 06:44:39 EST ID:6OmeeR23 No.520124 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>admits he fucked up
Posts like this remind me 420chan hasn't died yet
Hugh Clibberson - Sat, 18 Nov 2017 15:17:00 EST ID:dJGuoqo1 No.520131 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If someone asks you if they are ugly do you tell them they are ugly? What the fuck is the point? ALL you are doing by telling the truth is hurting her, nothing else. You can get the same net outcome for you (breaking up) without hurting her, so do that instead.
Nicholas Hommlefene - Sat, 18 Nov 2017 16:15:27 EST ID:esuyK5FE No.520133 Ignore Report Quick Reply

on time on /pol/ i admitted i was wrong and changed my stance on a topic
Matilda Blommerfuck - Sat, 18 Nov 2017 19:09:04 EST ID:hwkYCzfb No.520134 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>CNN will hire you
>not know that filter
ah. i see your problem.
Polly Decklelock - Sat, 18 Nov 2017 20:30:21 EST ID:qnpf4h+M No.520135 Ignore Report Quick Reply
what is that my good left leaning friend
it's ok man ive done the same
because then they have no idea they've done wrong dum dum

Girlfriend steals my sperm by Ebenezer Sandlenodging - Thu, 16 Nov 2017 00:47:13 EST ID:84x/yQdu No.520057 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So I have this pet project where I keep cumming to a jar and keep it in the refridgerator. I share my apartment with my girlfriend, and she knows better than to touch the jar, but lately I have noticed that the amount of sperm in the jar has stagnated, even though I keep cumming in it as much as ever. I don't want to call her a thief, but there is really no other suspects than her, allthough my mom has spare key to our apartment but that is a possibility which I dont want to entertain right now.

Question is, how do I approach my girlfriend with this query?
Yojimbo - Thu, 16 Nov 2017 18:21:32 EST ID:+UZ7DPH3 No.520085 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Ahh, my eyes! Fuck, everything got more retarded then were back 4-years ago...
Fucking Wonkinteck - Fri, 17 Nov 2017 06:50:54 EST ID:Qa5TrN+U No.520103 Ignore Report Quick Reply
How about a spaghetti dinner? There is a Chinese story about a prisoner that collected pieces of wire he found on the floor and kept them in a jar. When the jar was full and he wanted some other way to pass the time one day he decided to break the jar open and count the pieces. When he broke the jar open he cried because all the pieces had become one big tangled clump he could not beak apart. Have you considered that your sperm might be compacting and solidifying?
Hugh Clibberson - Fri, 17 Nov 2017 19:43:15 EST ID:dJGuoqo1 No.520114 Ignore Report Quick Reply


Hide the remote. Accuse her of stealing it. When she denies it, bring up the sperm. She will confess to this lesser offence if she is guilty, because no one wants to be accused of stealing a remote. It will work. 200% guaranteed
Cyril Farringbanks - Sat, 18 Nov 2017 09:54:09 EST ID:qnpf4h+M No.520129 Ignore Report Quick Reply
the only option is to eat all of the sperm yourself before your girlfriend does

How does someone get raped so many times andhow cna it be prevented by Matilda Gurringshaw - Sat, 04 Nov 2017 17:18:10 EST ID:LPstuck1 No.519819 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I know this one girl who's supposedly been raped many times as she describes; but never reports it.
>supposedly raped by a gang in the woods at 9
>raped by two men in psyche ward at 15
>raped by trucker while she off her meds and lived in the woods naked for three weeks
>raped by dude on lsd at 21
supposedly messed up her bone structure and she is in constant pain
>forced to have sex with drug lord at 25 for a place to stay
>had sex with disgusting chinese store owner at 27 for a place to stay

How is this possible and do you think she is lying?

Also she has schizophrenia, and posttraumatic stress disorder.
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Ebenezer Dammermock - Sun, 12 Nov 2017 03:41:26 EST ID:LPstuck1 No.519961 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I did for 6 years, but they ambushed me last year and insisted.
Said it was because she felt safe with me............

Other than that idk, I feel like if I met her earlier in life, I could prevented alof bad shit from happening to her. Idk man feel bad.
Walter Wedgestock - Wed, 15 Nov 2017 23:21:32 EST ID:Gz+TYri8 No.520051 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Honest question. How do you walk around when you are filled with so much bullshit? I can smell the stench through the screen.
Charlotte Murdhall - Thu, 16 Nov 2017 19:45:50 EST ID:viaB/bNq No.520089 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Well I have conversations with people from different walks of life all the time for my job. So I just have been exposed to a lot more bullshit. I'm leaving in 15 minutes to see a lady that is psychotic and pissed herself.

What about you? Why are you full of shit?
James Grandhall - Fri, 17 Nov 2017 08:36:06 EST ID:wg/43xhN No.520104 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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OP you gotta stop making threads about this chick

this is like the 4th time

either bang her or don't
Fuck Burringsock - Sat, 18 Nov 2017 04:14:49 EST ID:LPstuck1 No.520123 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I have in the past, this was before she told me of her schizophrenia.
It's just that her life is the most maddening and eventful I have witnessed.

broken for life by Fucking Trotgold - Sun, 05 Nov 2017 05:52:46 EST ID:tiBuSQx/ No.519832 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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My ex beat me up a lot and emotionally, verbally, financially abused me for four years. I already had bad mental health probs (borderline/CPTSD) from a pretty fucked-up childhood but I swear it pretty much broke my brain and I've had like 1000 times worse PTSD ever since. I now have flashbacks that are pretty much psychotic, scream and thrash in my sleep, and feel like a ghost that's been inhabiting a dead meatshell for the last few years. I dissociated more often than not before; now it's continual and I sometimes forget who I am or lose time. This stuff also ruined my physical health in a big way and right after I fled that relationship I got diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder, probably kicked off by the masses of stress I'd been experiencing.

I've learned to handle this in some ways, like mindfulness meditation, art, etc, and I'm going to a DV survivor's group soon. I want to think positive but honestly, I've been headsick since I was 11 and I know that any improvement after all this junk is gonna be small. How do I deal with knowing that I'll probably be severely mentally ill forever, and worse, that it was other people who did it to me?
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Ebenezer Hannershit - Wed, 08 Nov 2017 23:00:19 EST ID:ZMDYtLUz No.519891 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>resorts to insults immediately because he knows I'm right

A typical normalfag attempting to reinforce his broken society. Enjoy the polarization of your politics, fuckwit. It's the result of your inability to see the need for reform.
Fanny Cronkinstone - Fri, 17 Nov 2017 19:51:36 EST ID:EucgpGZ2 No.520115 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I've been in similar relationship few years ago... he blames me and I blame him for violence...
I went to therapy, try with sport to allay thoughts, only friendship conversation witth him 1,5-2 years after breakup help me/us...
Cyril Farringbanks - Fri, 17 Nov 2017 21:02:11 EST ID:qnpf4h+M No.520116 Ignore Report Quick Reply
pain gets trapped into the body and guides us unconsciously
look into releasing it
Edwin Sizzleham - Fri, 17 Nov 2017 21:12:59 EST ID:jQZ803QM No.520118 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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opinion discarded
Walter Nudgeforth - Sun, 19 Nov 2017 05:29:56 EST ID:6OmeeR23 No.520140 Ignore Report Quick Reply
In all honesty when he said "I hope you all burn and hate you" but then accused me of insults in my response to that I knew it was a troll post or not worth bothering. nb

Reality check! by Lillian Bettingman - Tue, 14 Nov 2017 17:12:33 EST ID:0nygACw3 No.520019 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Bipolar here.

If it wasn't for weed, excercise, medication and/or mania and weird beliefs I would commit suicide in a second.

I am beyond embarassed by my life.
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Alice Sonkinford - Tue, 14 Nov 2017 21:03:29 EST ID:F6BBbLXR No.520022 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Caroline Dartspear - Tue, 14 Nov 2017 22:16:10 EST ID:c7k1hDPc No.520023 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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It makes sense that you need exercise to maintain. Its one of those things I only appreciate when I haven't had any in a while.
Rebecca Handletut - Wed, 15 Nov 2017 09:54:21 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.520040 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Honestly I don't know if I can handle the bottoms sober I feel good like I've been to the bottom enough times that I'm not scared of it anymore, but only with weed. If the government takes my weed I honestly don't know how it will go for me. I basically just stop eating entirely and stop moving and become like some sort of half man, half slug creature. Part of the reason I'm moving out west is to get legal weed. I don't look forward to mania anymore though because I always say and do things that I regret and that bring me shame and make it hard for me to face people while depressed without insane anxiety. I hate that it's the only time I ever interact with people anymore. I just go into a cycle of having to use drugs or be manic to feel comfortable interacting with people, then coming down and having intense anxiety about how open I was and retreating into isolation and depression.

I just want to be stable in mild depression. That is my new goal. I want to not be a little bitch and be controlled by my fears while depressed and not go out of control. Luckily I've never been manic while not on antidepressants so I think if I stay away from the antidepressants I'll be able to achieve this.
Rebecca Pammleled - Fri, 17 Nov 2017 08:59:02 EST ID:HjyK/1MH No.520105 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I don't look forward to mania but it makes me not suicidal.

It just makes me think I already committed suicide and am in the afterlife.

Oh and I go literally bear-spirit angry berserk mode.

OP here btw.

The one thing I hate most is all the edgelords and regular people telling me I don't need meds even though they have never seen me crazy or whatever. It's like the reason I don't seem to need it is because I have it. The stigma against taking meds is the dumbest shit ever.
Fanny Hammerbork - Sat, 18 Nov 2017 07:06:12 EST ID:6OmeeR23 No.520126 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I think the problem is that a lot of people are dumb about meds in a lot of ways. A bit off topic, but I think I know why a lot of people do that. Remember you're dealing with limited humans bombarded by all sorts of bullshit trying to make sense and they'll often simplify and I can understand how much this shit would annoy you... BUT I think you should try to understand that they mean well, a lot of the time they're just out their depth.

Meds are definitely beneficial for a whole bunch of people but for some illnesses (which manic depression is not one) they're often over prescribed when the depression is the symptom of thought and behavior patterns rather than a brain biochemistry problem. In these cases the right meds can do help you hold it together long enough to get your life on track even then however. But a lot of people know several people who've been prescribed meds long term for something they need therapy and life changes for and watched their lives and mental and physical health get worse instead of better. I've seen it a lot. One of my friends eventually found meds that worked for him but even then it was only because he changed how he looks at life that he's gotten over it.

Anyway a lot of people are too stupid to realise mental illness takes a range of varieties and forms with a variety of causes. So they either blindly pop pills or they decry all medicine as blindly popping pills. No one really explains what prescription medicine really means either. That it means it's not safe enough to be OTC but when a doctor, who is a human with human judgment, decides based on their experience in the hugely complicated sphere of medicine that the benefits outweigh the risks and harm that they issue a prescription for a medicine. That they are making the best guess as someone who is better qualified than most but they can get it wrong sometimes and that doesn't mean they're always wrong. That prescription medicine is not supposed to be harmless or considered it because it'd be OTC and that there's always a judgement made by a human. That the human will get it wrong doesn't mean they know better than most people. People just have to…
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