Is it anything like dating someone when you are bipolar? I feel like it's like dating a bipolar girl except there's no cute involved and the sexy doesn't excuse anything.

Goddamn I'm bipolar as fuck.

>>523768
I think im bipolar and im dating a bipolar girl.
However i might just be a normal person? sometimes i feel depressed, sometimes i feel happy. and she might just be a normal woman? sometimes she cries about stupid shit, sometimes she wants to suck my cock 24/7 out of sheer love.
what even is bipolar? back then it was just called people

>>523759

Bi polar looks very different from person to person.

I’m bi polar and tbh I’d imagine it’s like dating anyone else for the most part. Maybe with the exception of mood swings that take me from chirpy impulsive extrovert to depressed reclusive introvert. During those times il just be a little quieter and maybe unhappy. It may be relatively unknown why.

I had a relationship for 3 years and with the exception of the occasional impulsive dumping (happened maybe once a year) it was fairly smooth. No arguments, no horrible things, no particularly sharp turns. I would just kinda dive bomb here and there and need someone to hug me.

Bi polar is mostly internal, it’s portrayed poorly because only the extremes are ever remembered. Idk dude, borderlines are the ones you need to be keeping watch for.

>>523770
The trouble with mood swings is that they feed into themselves, and if you're not good enough for whatever neurological tweak that allows you to bring yourself up when you're down (or conversely, bring yourself down when you're up), it deregulates fast. Think of it not as a series of episodes but a pendulum that has started to swing fast. In other words, it's structural: the only way to fix things is to take the reigns of the pendulum disk inside the clock. Humans aren't machines, but we all have our pendulums, and the pendulum is always at danger of running too fast.

We sane few have a delicate balance to walk on, you know.

>>523759
It was great for a time, she was very attached to me, sometimes very angry but never toward me, I was a kind of protector for her, she could be herself with me and loved me deeply. But we couldn't see each other enough because of shitty reasons, it became a long distance relationship and after a stronger bipolar episode than usual, her love completely faded away and she found someone else.
It lasted 8 years for me, it was a real emotional roller coaster but I don't regret one bit because that's how I expect from a relationship that matters.
They're crazy and not trust worthy. If you still want to bet everything on her, make sure to never leave her alone.

Teachers aren't allowed to say "shut up" to students now?

Don't resign over this, I'm pretty sure that's not a rule. And you didn't even say it!

a friend of mine is a teacher at a k-12 private charter school and all of the parents are such huge cocksucking faggot retards who froth at the mouth when their precious children are not given A's for work they don't even turn in, that over 3/4 of the teaching staff are resigning in may. this includes its entire math and science department lol. i have heard innumerable anecdotal stories similar to this where countless teachers suffer from burnout because of the ape-like parents abusing and bullying them. not to mention the shitty brat kids.

>>523727
have people not realized that that whole "build self esteem regardless of talent and effort" experiment didn't work? You can only praise kids when you know they tried hard.. otherwise you fuck them right up and they have to try to undo it as adults


I still can't believe you can't tell kids to shut up... kids need to shut up sometimes!

OP here, I'm surprised this thread is still going! It was only like 2 weeks ago but I feel like it was forever.

Yes, >>523660 I was 5000% sure it was better for my career long-term than to try to fight this. I have my teaching cert but I was working for an after school program in the school so I didn't have nearly the protections a contracted teacher would have had. Also it was my word against a contracted teacher that had been there a while. No witnesses or at least no reliable ones (kindergarteners are probably the easiest witnesses to lead possible).

But yeah I just got hired at a new job today. Pay is comparable to a starting teacher and it'll allow me to still look for a teaching job instead of taking bullshit ones like the one I just left. I get what y'all are saying but trying to fight out from under this with less than a month left in the school year would have been a tremendous waste of time, money, and energy. My own supervisor didn't believe me towards the end so it's kind of one of those situations where you have to cut your losses.

I can't stress enough though as to how much more money I'm about to make with less headaches. Sure teaching is the goal, but I wasn't really even teaching at this thing, more of a glorified babysitter tbh. I can study for additional certs and cherry pick a job that I actually want instead of just the first one that comes my way which is exactly what happened with this one.

>>523727
That's a whole other tangent I can go off on. That's starting to be the way public schools are heading: parents with unrealistic expectations both of their child and the teachers. Personally I think that better parenting would solve like 90% of societal problems BUT the system is gamed especially against lower income parents to have them working multiple jobs and keeping them away from their kids more hours of the day than they're together.

>>523790

with each year that passes the movie Idiocracy becomes less funny and more terrifying

>>523734

Problem is weighing my embarrassment against the potential monetary gain. I really don't want this in the papers, but then the idea of a million bucks is enticing. Thing is, I don't even know if I would win. I mean we're talking about the suing the air force here. I'm pretty sure they have a very good legal team.

>>523734

>a servicemember trying to sue the military which owns them

doesnt work like that lol in the military you are property.

This is likely a troll thread.
I think OP wants to paint us a picture of him running around trying to grab up pictures of kiddie porn while he gets hit by a jet.
Not like mister CP courier would use a USB memory drive, clearly printing hard copies is much more convenient and less suspicious to said courier.

>>523747

I didn't say I was in the military.

fuck your degenerate ass and your broken ass leg

>>523748
tbh i wouldnt mind but i kind of wonder what the dynamic would be like if my mom found out, like i know with men if you fucked a guys daughter he wouldnt be your friend anymore and probably punch you but women have different attitudes, like I'm wondering now would they be hostile or would my mom be proud of me for bagging a cougar or what?

How old are you and how old is this milf?

I find most older women there's a threshold of when you're 25 is when they're into you, but that depends entirely on their age.

TBH i'd like to fuck a 50+ year old, but that's because i'm kind of fucked in the head. I've had sex with a 40 odd year old as a 26 year old. It was eh, ok I guess. I kind of bigged it up in my head a little, but the naughtiness of it all kind of faded once I did it.

>>523764
im 23 but i had a 2 year opiate addiction that really aged my facial features and combined with recently starting weightlifting again I look a lot older than I am, maybe like 26-27

>>523772
And the milf? What's her age. Hard to gauge anything here.

Have you ever experienced older women before?

>>523773
late 40s early 50s judging from her looks
also quick update i just sent her a casual message saying hey was nice to see you hope you and the kids are okay sort of deal to open convo & nah not really fucked a girl who was like 22 when I was 18 but i dont think that really countd

>>523670
Ya, uses a shitload of weird lingo and talks generally like a retard. Not really sure what his problem is besides that

wow op you really sound like a spoiled useless faggot. maybe work on changing that.

Go back to the future faggot.

>>523605
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzoMzWkT0D0

You're squandering your youth by falling prey to internet tribalism.

I recommend a heroic dose of magic mushrooms to cleanse your ego, followed by reading some books, starting with Huxley.

But seriously, aint nobody taking you seriously talking like that

>>523666

>it's another armchair "EVERYTHING IS OXYTOCIN MAANN" creature fetishist who doesn't realize the brain is a complex organ with multiple different processes involved in addiction and the reinforcement thereof

Please make it stop mommy. I want the Wikipedia generation to stop.

>>523679
youve said nothing other, you know nothing about neuroplasticity obviously

>>523737

>like, neuroplasticity man!!! I WIKIPEDIA'D WHAT BDNF IS LOL LIVESTRONG TELLS ME I'M SPECIAL XD

>>523737
uh oh look out boys, this guys spends his days browsing 420chan because he already made all the money he needs with his doctorate in neuroscience

you guys are faggots

>Girl pills

>For one, I get sucked into other peoples sadness as if it were my own; I will obsess over it, sometimes even to the point of almost feeling it as my own sadness tears included, and it's extremely stupid and embarassing,

This is just part of being a human being. Suffering is a constant. Be happier you haven't detuned, because that is a worse feeling by far.

>On the other hand, I'm also a very jealous person, and, considering i'm a tranny, this is really annoying as I get jealous of women constantly and get angry and frustrated over it. I get angry at myself for not trying enough. If I hear my neighbors having normal non-mentally ill people sex, I get frustrated too

This is also pretty normal.

>I also have this habit of subconsciously copying other peoples interests, like favourite movies, series, how they tal

If you didn't mention you were a tranny multiple times or included the 'i cut my dick off' part, I wouldn't have known. By and large these are all normalfag problems that everyone has to work out to their own degree, and I don't believe dick has dick to do with it if you feel me. There's nothing wrong with expressing empathy, or learning interests from other people, or feeling envious because you're lonely. You just need to learn some mindfulness, which, again, is pretty common as an issue. Do you have difficulties opening up to your therapist or something? I feel like these are issues that get covered early on in the treatment process.

>>523618
Who'd have thought that fucking with your hormones might make even more unstable.

>>523637
This guy says what I was thinking.

OP the thing to think about is not the extent of your problems but the extent of your ability to solve them. What would make you happier? Life is imperfect and you have to do what works best for you. Not what SHOULD be best but what IS best. What makes you happiest and long run, not just the short term easy way either.

Which of these problems can you solve? Which do you just need to learn to obsess over less? As Wesley said, mindfulness and learning to cope with normal emotions is what you need. I suspect the stress of your transitioning or whatever are making every day problems harder to cope with but you've got to sit and think not "But other people don't suffer these issues" because that doesn't help you, but what you can do now.

>>523618
Are you in your first year or so of transition? If so yeah it'll all balance out eventually.

Emotions are normal. TBH I had that before transition and titty skittles only made it increase, but basic empathy goes a long way into forming friendships and not being a brick wall weirdo once you get to grips with it.

Jealousy is a natural part of the human condition. How do you think cis girls feel whenever they see someone gorgeous walk down the street or see pictures of airbrushed models in every magazine and advert selling beauty products? The jealousy of cis girls will for the most part pass. Not saying it'll be gone, but eh, you slowly learn to make do with what you look like even if you're not happy with it.

Copying people's interests is fairly normal, moreso if you're on the autism spectrum I think. It's clear you wanna connect with people but don't quite understand how. As long as you also have your own hobbies and interests then it's how you convey the copied movements. It's perfectly normal for close friends to share so much in mannerisms and habits, but I guess just for people you know it might feel a bit too intimate at first, so just try to tone it down a little.

It's easier said than done, but quit overthinking and try to develop yourself how YOU want to be seen, instead of hoping to rely on other's perceptions on how they see you.

>>523704
Then what exactly are you worried about?

>>523705
Police find the hooker who robbed me. Hooker goes to jail for breaking probation. Gets pissed rats out the prostitution and drugs aspect or makes up other shit to get me dragged down too.

>>523706
"I don't know what the hell she's talking about, officer"

Case closed, take 'em away boys.

>>523706
Also where is the picture from your OP from?

>>523708

misc episode of lockup/lockdown/inside penitentiary etc

usual shit

>>523604
I'm 26. She looks really young lol. I cried over letting her go. When was the last time any of you cried?

>>523608
sucks but it's ok to cry over people that's gone
i cried about two months ago when my old dog died
it's healthy

>>523608
I cried after my a friend of mine was found dead in his yard. We weren’t that close and I wasn’t too emotionally effected until I randomly thought about him and realized I’d never see him again

>>523608
I'm also 26. Can't remember, been several years. Not to sound edgelord, but I've pretty much got no real ability to feel feelings anymore. Pretty sure it's the result of two concussions. I guess to be more precise, I'm mostly incapable of feeling grief for having lost things that once meant a lot to me; then again, I'm not really capable of forming emotional attachments to things now either.

Truly, the way I'd try and look at things in a situation of loss is to recognize how beautiful it is that you're capable of feeling this way about somebody. That is to say, somebody else or an animal or whatever was capable of producing this kind of terrible, god awful, wretched emotional reaction out of you. Reflect on what it means that you for a time must've had in order for the loss to carry such weight.

Knowing that for life, or indeed, anything to occur at all, there must be an end for every beginning. For there to be any one thing at all and for us to experience it, it must not only be a pair, but a package of three. Things begin, they are, and then they end. Perhaps any one of these could exist on their own, but they would be without point, meaning, or value when not considered in relation with one another. Taken out of context, even every "slice" of a moment during your life is just as dead or might as well be as non-existent as before you came to be or as it will (imo) likely be once you are gone. What matters are chunks, and during your chunk, you've known, felt, and understood love. Pain is love, and love pain, with the only real difference being in their matter of degree and the perspective you view it from.

>>523608
Bruh she's 59 and on her way to dying alone because she's an insufferable cunt that nobody could ever commit to. You're not responsible to be the beta that takes her shit until she dies. Nobody is. She dug her grave.

If you're upset because you miss her that's understandable, but you sure as hell have no reason to feel bad.

>When I make eye contact with people they get really uncomfortable and their eyes start watering, so I completely avoid eye contact. When I smile it's either held too long or too short. I creep people out. My coworkers hate me, my manager tolerates me only because he's aware of my situation and feels bad for me.

Any chance at least some of this is in your head? I mean unless you have some hideous deformity or are horrifically ugly other people don't often get repulsed by simple eye contact or an occasional awkward smile. It also doesn't seem to help that you basing all of your current social skills on such a small and potentially shitty pool of people like people you're forced to work with. And I agree with what the above poster said that I don't think drugs are the answer here. Sitting in your room taking drugs and thinking of how things can get better is a whole lot easier than actually putting yourself out there and making things better for yourself.

OP at 21 you're still pretty much a kid, you've got years left to work on this so don't write yourself off.

My advice is to work on yourself more, and i call it work because it will take effort. The standard advice applies, you should start working out, start finding new places to go and interact with like minded people and say yes to more social situations you find yourself invited to.

You're asking about using drugs to "cure" you; if you're introverted this might actually work. It kind of worked for me, I abused stimulants for a while and became much more extroverted when sober. I guess the logic was "If i can act so friendly and outgoing when under the influence and everyone likes me, then I can go ahead and start being more outgoing when sober".

However this plan could go horribly wrong, results are not guaranteed and i had other positive things going on in my life at that time which may have also helped me. The decision to do this is up to you.



Slight side note which may not apply to you, meaningful human interactions kind of require you to share a part of yourself and if you're got nothing good going on on the inside your interactions / connections with others will be poor.

>>522820
Kratom is the best thing I've used for being a social retard. It makes you sociable and empathetic (plus gives you a boost in energy). That said, it could be a crutch or it could open you up to experiences and situations that lead you to actually improving your social skills.

I agree about people not usually being so repoulsed within the first 3 seconds of meeting you, unless - OP, how's your grooming routine? Do you smell okay? Comb your hair? Take care of your skin? You're not one of those autists that never shaves their upper lip bumfluff and walks around mouth breathing with the world's greasiest hair? OP I care about you so I just have to make sure. Social anxiety only gets better with practice, and even some of the most charming extravert's get it

>>523603
Given OP's record it will be a crutch. Be realistic.

Other people have covered a lot of good points. Drugs haven't worked for OP yet and he's tried just about everything else. He's young enough that he can still turn this shit around and should try chemical shortcuts later.

>>523465
If you have to argue with yourself about your sexuality, that means you're confused. If a chick with a strapon will do, then you're not gay.

>>523549
I agree with what you said, but you almost made it sound as if you've already decided OP is in fact gay since his experience reminds you of your own. I'm not saying you have already decided that, just that what you wrote gives off a vibe that that's the perspective you're coming from. Also, I realize somebody can be in denial about some aspect of themselves and being gay isn't an exception, but at the same time having random and/or intrusive undesirable thoughts that are perceived to be homosexual or meaning one must actually be homosexual simply because they're having them just makes things even more confusing and simply isn't the case.

Experiences like those don't mean you're gay (of course, they don't exclude the possibility either obviously lol). The problem with having intrusive thoughts or feeling like you're really emotionally close or attached to a male friend is that, for better or worse, emotional intimacy (especially with another guy) beyond sexual relations with a woman is foreign to most guys because quite honestly the rest of the world doesn't give a fuck about you and doesn't want to hear you complain all the time and talk about your feelings or deal with somebody they feel reacts to things in an overly sensitive manner. If it weren't ingrained in us to treat women much, much differently than we do other men (mostly better, but that's a pretty big generalization to make I guess) from childhood, and women weren't the major biological barrier for successful reproduction they are, chances are they'd be treated just like men too. When they control whether or not you have any sex at all and you grew up knowing how fucked you'd be with the rest of your family and the whole of society for not treating a woman properly, you just play the game the best way you can--meaning women can afford to be emotionally intimate and complain about their problems, because it just so happens that nature chose them to be the sex with highest demand and lowest supply (of gametes). In other words, men have to be productive and useful to have value, and women that are capable of reproducing are simply inherently valuable becau…

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>>523549
Some of that stuff is a reaction to other people's reactions, real, imagined and historic. Which is to say it's sort of tradition. And if you figure out that your sexuality isn't the assumed default that you're just raised as if that's what you got, that's got to be harder than just being straight and everyone assumes you're straight and then the opposite sex do it for you and you never have to think twice. So not only have you done what straight guys like I have never done, but you've done what a lot of gay guys don't do too. Instead they just assume hey I've been told I'm straight, "I just to work hard to get an erection for women and overcome satan giving me boners for 19 (or 17 in some cases) year old boys and be the republican senator for this state so I can fight the people who failed where I did". Not realising they're the failures that straight people don't deal with that etc. Maybe I'm just over stating it because I've not done it and don't know how easy it is but a lot of people fail hard even as they fuck men behind their wife's back.

fuck I'm a brit and there was a big scandal when an MP was found fucking a man behind his wife's back and she was devastated. Except now she's got a girlfriend so I guess they were in a marriage of convenience to help deny their shit and no one complained about the lack of sex as a result.

So I mean if you want to have a big gay celebration you earned it. But if you don't then you've also earned the the right to just get on with doing who or what you want without making a fuss.

But also that some people just become obsessed with the idea of a sexuality because of the stigma, media attention or whatever and it doesn't mean shit. Maybe OP is surrounded by homophobes but spends ages with people acting like it's normal and talking about it constantly and he can't get it off his mind. Maybe OP is struggling with women and hasn't been in that life fire situation. Maybe porn doesn't work too well it's hard to feel that connection to someone going through the motions on a screen and/or fucking someone who clearly is not you

you know the saying:
If in doubt, you're gay

Reality is manifested gayness that is pretending to be straight and is too ashamed to admit itself to itself. Embrace it. Faggotry is woven into the fabric of reality on every level. Are you not lucky for coincidentally possessing a means for becoming closer to it?

>>523570
Tell da trooth. Tell da trooth.
https://youtu.be/v79i9szAR6g

>>523570
something is missing from this post, OP.
I can't put my finger on it. But in this form, for me at least, it is impossible to comprehend what you're actually trying to say.

>>523581
Things missing

>whether he would have spent all day
>if she disapproves of thing
>possibly what thing is

I mean I'd have guessed play video games or smoke weed and OP could have offered to ensure he was free, especially if she knew when she'd be free. But if he did that and she couldn't commit and had already screwed their plans then she should probably realise she's being selfish. I somehow doubt this is the real issue.

>>523582
Pretty much what you just said is what she insinuated I'd be doing. It was more that she canceled our previous plans a d then immediately jumped to oh you're gonna smoke and play video games all day.

>>523584
Well given how shady you've been about it, if you're this iffy about in person then of course she's going to think it. I think it too. I don't see a problem with it but I would be annoyed if you got angry that I was right about your plans. The presumption hurts but you've yet to say "oh no that wasn't what would happen". The way you are acting it is entirely reasonable to assume that was what would happen because if it wasn't true you'd say "oh no I was going to tidy around the flat a little and maybe go for a stroll, but yeah when that's done why not?" or "I was going to go go bench press that book you love and read 100KG to be extra sexy for you" or whatever the truth is.

It doesn't matter if the big reveal is that were going to execute a genuine plan to save the world and create infinite free clean safe energy for all or whatever, because you've been so evasive about the simple truth that you probably annoy your girlfriend too. It won't suddenly make you right, because you're annoyed about the presumption and if you are even half as shady as this about things in person then yes, the most likely cause for such behavior is that you're up to no good. And it's reasonable for her to presume. And if she's right about it then lets get to the real question.

The real question is maturity. Are either or both of you mature enough for this shit? She has a chip on her shoulder about weed because she's been programmed to hate it, I'm reading between the lines but it's a story as old as time. You are aware of this and you try to tolerate it because she's making an effort for you. The question is can the two of you compromise enough to be happy. The truth is you had better plans you'd rather have done and she fucked up and you shouldn't have to justify a backup, unless you genuinely can salvage some other plans around what else she's already committed to. She should be mature enough to say "yeah I fucked up and these are his backups, he's not choosing weed over me" and you should be mature enough not to be a bitch when she's right and get annoyed that she can'…

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