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A dark observation on existence, read with caution. by Doris Clemmleman - Sun, 12 Mar 2017 22:44:16 EST ID:e6XzKOTi No.514356 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Greetings, I'm perhaps posting this to the wrong board, maybe pss is better. Although it is grating me like I've noticed most.

I'd like to start by proposing a typical human's life in a short yellow texted story. Human can be Bill.

>Bill is born.
>He is effectively unconscious until maybe the age of starting kindergarten or 1st grade. Unconscious in that he doesn't fully remember or have sentience of any level.
>He "grinds" at school until around puberty at which point his adult sentience begins to just start to develop. His nads start to fiend for pussy as well. At this point Bill is just starting to become something more than a use of money and a parrot of his parents sentiments that are freely aired amongst him.
>Bill exists for 18 years until he is freed of typical schooling. The details are irrelevant.
>Bill is faced with working immediately out of school or extending his life of having his hand held by going to college denying "real-world" responsibilities for another ~4 years and using his parents money.
>College is irrelevant in this story, it is just an extension of school, we are assuming Bill works after his schooling. Be it at 18 or 22 or whatever number.
>Bill now faces 30-40 years of working at a minimum before he is allowed to "retire."
>Faced with this daunting proposal, Bill faces a 1/4 life crisis. Be it apparent or not.
>Bill quickly pairs off to stem the fate of working for a world of nothing. After marriage, of course children are born to soak up the 20 years from the mid 20's to mid 40's. Grandchildren soak up from 40's to 60's.
>Convenient placing and structure in civilization soaks up what many have termed the "deafening silence" of life.
>Bill ends up nearing death at about 70 years of age with nothing in life but a wife and children and a perpetuation of the cycle. In death, or the precipitation of death, Bill has divested all his monetary gain in his children and/or own healthcare.
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Rebecca Follywater - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 21:46:44 EST ID:pCPQRsXK No.514649 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Bill is a subject contemplating merits that are now in crisis.

Bill could use his existential crisis to his advantage to feel "billness" better and contribute to society how "bill wants to"

By seeing that if he has doubted one steadfast motivating purpose in his life that has binded him to love, that has been put in crisis by the world but his world kept going.

That he could doubt another he may feel under duress without experiencing more crisis.

Bill could see that while society communicates the pain of labor and work. That often the evocation of such discontent that bills expressive open heart might bleed for is feeding into the wrong part of such a disproportionate equasion.

Bill's obligations are in "weigh-al" here we see a pro and a con. Bill has already in the negative, bill feels conned. It's fine for bill as a subject of will to percieve his own existences in the negative as cons. Or articfices that exist as stakes or constructs in reality.

Thus pros.

Bill does not feed society a promise that chains or in debts the.
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Rebecca Follywater - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 21:58:35 EST ID:pCPQRsXK No.514650 Ignore Report Quick Reply
When we are young people often say to bill's ethics "NO!"

But bill often says things like "COUNT EM" to ideas where others say don't count your chickens until they hatch.

Bill is often making predictions out of heuristics that you know to be flawed. And you see bill emphasize and position himself in riskiness to capture a goal.

Bill seems to exist in an effusive space, that helps deal with meaning that has been unfinished for a long time, and seems unforgiven in irrational intuitive ways but understood in rational ones.

At times in life when you feel like you are not only being tested in some sort of kobayashi muru but in feelings and matters that deserve distance even in true absurdism. The Bill is when you somehow understand how to go through tests for those things.

Feelings come back to association, traumas are waded through they surface back in the concious mind and take part in activities as they once did.

Bill is kind of like a guy who sees rehabilation without the neccessary apocalypse it always seems to threaten.
Rebecca Follywater - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 22:12:56 EST ID:pCPQRsXK No.514651 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Bill exists in objects of complettion.

When you see someone fix a table that has been off balance for years by putting a cloth under it that is bill.

Bill is the track you didn't take in highschool, that you are just understanding know.

Bill is like understanding the relation between altered beast and golden axe in your twenties.

He's the realization of the ability to know for free learn seven languages privately, he's the intermediate who helps you realize through the half hammed utterance of the word "excitation" your already apphrending subtext in art, and gives you the liminal concept or playground to make sense of it, or the ancillary night light to keep you secure when the exploration of our perception seems to question reality.

In the shared of experience of that turmoil, bill would utter "life is but a dream" to remind you of children's songs and stories perennial expression of this sentiment and there role in helping us understand our echoing into reality in divergent paths through the way we sing row row row your boat as if to say we are entering reality always already.

Bill might get excited and point out that the stream we go gently down is a stream of conciousness. But then again bill might also be the guy who yells pipe down in a really quiet room.
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Isabella Worringson - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 00:52:22 EST ID:Hc3V+acB No.514653 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Just when I thought qq had gone to shit I SEE this post. I see this post.
Cyril Blythewater - Thu, 23 Mar 2017 13:44:04 EST ID:rfuQW1WQ No.514726 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I'm not sure if im just too dumb to understand whatever you're saying or youre not making a lot of sense

weird sexual hangups and anger issues by Thomas Druttingkod - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 19:23:30 EST ID:kBC/dSGg No.514706 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I know therapy is the obvious answer but I'm just hoping for maybe some advice or a general direction.

I have this issue with sex. I didn't grow up in a religious household, a conservative one though. I remember my dad would casually mention, just out of the blue really, things like "masturbation is something bad boys do" or "my eyes almost blew out of their sockets seeing that" (when he found porn on my computer). I had major anxiety and depression growing up, didn't have any sexual experience at all until 19, and up until 24 it was with trannies, men or prostitutes. I "learned" about sex growing up from fucked up internet places, seen all the extremely weird shit etc.
So this is more or less relevant history. My issue is that I have this automatic, uncontrollable negative reaction whenever I see something regarding casual sex (like polygamous relationships, fuck buddies, one night stands) or when I see women being casually sexual. I guess it stems from jealousy? IDK, It's just even though "consciously" I hold extremely liberal views, in practice I have a conservative outlook regarding sex, women who engage in casual sexual behavior, talk about sex, etc. seem disgusting to me, and it's just these kind of liberal drug friendly sexually liberated women I'd like to get with as in a relationship or whatever be one of their one night stands works for me too. I wouldn't mind having a fuck buddy, seems fun.
It's just my mind which is betraying and I really without any intention feel this anger whenever I see these things.
Cyril Clonkinhall - Thu, 23 Mar 2017 00:55:05 EST ID:ntgbOcpq No.514716 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You have to decide what you think is morally right for yourself, yits timeto be a man and stop letting outside influences and propoganda control you
Phoebe Blythehood - Thu, 23 Mar 2017 02:36:38 EST ID:jPpWgI0N No.514717 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I get the same thing. If I'm watching group porn, my main fantasy is killing every male in the room and then taking the female back to my "cave". My favorite porn is pov so I can pretend to be the guy. I can't watch interracial porn unless I'm able to control my rage. Which is rare. Sometimes I'll bust a mean hate-nut out to it, but like I said, rare. I usually just pass it over completely and refuse to look at it when it comes up in results. Anyway, when I hear about casual sex, yes, I get disgusted too. I get angry too. I want to say "What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you fucking stupid? Are you fucking sick? Sick piece of fucking shit? Have some class. Have some fucking MORALS." But I don't.
Some background. I DID grow up in a religious household, but rather liberal. Interracial this or that, I'm actually mixed race myself. Mom always tried so hard to teach me that blacks were just like whites. Well look how well that went. I have a visceral reaction to black people and I can not help it. I think it could possibly have something to do with my black father, which was the only black face I knew for many years (He never knew HIS father, and his mother was white too) and he was abusive. He'd verbally rip 8 year old me apart, for nothing. He never beat me, but he threatened to kill me many times. He drank a lot.
Anyway, I also fucked guys and trannies up until I was 18 and then I fucked a girl. I loved her, she was a whore, it fell apart. I went crazy and started having unprotected sex with every fag and tranny I could find, which was over 20. I think maybe over 30 even. Anyway I didn't get HIV, so I feel lucky. But yea now I hate poly shit, hate one night stands, fucking get angry as fuck regarding that stuff. I've accepted that I need to just be alone until I find someone else who has the same problem as I do, and will bond their soul to mine, and live by a code so strong that they behave as if their mortal soul is on the line. That's how it has to be.
Walter Hommlebid - Thu, 23 Mar 2017 10:38:00 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.514724 Ignore Report Quick Reply
So like, what's with the picture? Is it supposed to be cool or ironic? Is it supposed to describe the way you feel? I feel like if I was being threatened by that guy with two revolvers I would laugh.

Anyways, I don't know what you want to do about sluts. I mean, you've already been swinging for the other side, you could always stay there.
Shit Pickworth - Thu, 23 Mar 2017 11:07:25 EST ID:2m2w+AUS No.514725 Ignore Report Quick Reply
But like I said, I thought about it, logically there's nothing wrong with casual sex, it still immensely bothers me though.
It's interesting that you embraced this, turned it into a value system even though you're aware the reason is a fucked up past. I'm not sure I can do that, the dissonance between logical arguments which I accept is too great.
I wasn't trying to be cool or ironic... I do feel like an angry asshole full of impotant rage so I guess it fits, didn't really think about it.
Can't stay on the gay side, I don't have any emotional feelings towards men, I don't want to date men etc.
I can get my rocks off by getting blown by a guy, or fucking a passable tranny, not more than that.
What do I want to do? Gwt over this, have sex with hot sluts or not so hot sluts, at this point I lose interest in fact get physically disgusted about any girl who talks about fucking or acts "sexy" in public (social media also counts), this isn't normal, I'm not religious or conservative, I shouldn't feel like this.

Methods of Cease and Desist by Rebecca Trotridge - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 22:36:04 EST ID:s3dnMI4C No.514710 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've made up my mind.
I'm going to die, my question is if pumping helium into a propane tank, using a condemn as a "transfer tube" then realising the helium into a 300 sq ft motel room would be full proof?

I've tried other methods, oding and car exhaust both backfired.
Phoebe Callerdock - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 22:38:57 EST ID:ST48Mc4W No.514711 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You aren't gonna get any advice on how to kill yourself on here OP, you'll just get banned. Honestly tho man sort your shit out, don't force a permanent solution onto short term problems.
Simon Nonnerbun - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 22:56:53 EST ID:s+dE+qb3 No.514712 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>full proof

Taking a Break to Fix a Relationship by Sophie Trotdale - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 04:10:18 EST ID:OIQXeb8g No.514684 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hey /qq/.
TL;DR Recently, I've been feeling extremely smothered by my girlfriend of 2 years. She has been blowing up my phone whenever I'm hanging out with friends, and acting extremely controlling and jealous. Today I decided to take a break for two weeks in hopes to fix problems we're having in our relationship. We set the break for two weeks. She did not take it well at all, but I hope she thinks about it when she's less upset.
Has anyone else tried this to fix problems in your relationship? Experiences would be helpful.
Our problems began six months ago. I play in a punk band, and can be extremely social and over the top. Usually, I attract a crowd of people and always have a lot of fun. My girlfriend can be a lot a fun, but she's not nearly as social as me, and most of her friends are originally my friends. My girlfriend began getting super jealous that other girls tried talking to me. I did not flirt back with these women, but that did not matter to my girlfriend. She would bottle up these feelings and drunkenly freak out at me, insulting me and threatening me.
Time went on and I wanted to party hard with her less and less. Going out with her meant that I was going to tone myself down, because she would probably freak out otherwise.
Unfortunately, this has had the opposite effect. She hears about when I go out with friends and do outrageous things and wonders why I don't want to do that with her. My girlfriend and I go out to bars sometimes, but its never as chaotic as when I go with friends. Sometimes I think maybe I'm even crazier with friends because I feel contained by my girlfriend. She is now jealous of this, and is probably scared that she is going to lose me. She again expresses this is in outburst, usually in text form, where she is threatening me and calling me names. Otherwise, she just often asks why we don't do crazy things together like I do with my friends.

I feel caged. I've never felt like this in a relationship. My only other relationship open we we're together for 5 years. On the flip side, this is my girlfriends first serious relationship ever as she has had only a few short term relationships in the past.

I told my girlfriend …
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Molly Tillingstock - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 04:34:47 EST ID:lNVN0mUI No.514685 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If anything, it will hurt the relationship.

When you go out with your friends and party instead of spending time with her, she's going to feel like you don't value her.

Not sure how old you are. But of you feel like you aren't ready to settle down, you might need someone else.
Sophie Trotdale - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 05:12:13 EST ID:OIQXeb8g No.514687 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Ironically, I don't even like partying that much. I only go out and hang with friends when she's not available because I'm bored. I partied daily when I was younger and don't enjoy it as much anymore. It's just when I go out I end up a bunch of places meeting a lot of people. Part of it is probably that I live and grown up in a big city, and my girlfriend lives in the suburbs. Going out for me, is sort of outside my house, not really a big deal for me. She always thinks highly of it, because she did not party before she met me.

Regardless, I see what you're saying. She thinks I spend all this time away from her, and I sometimes do party harder without her. I'm just not sure what else to do at this point, besides take a break.

I'm 22 btw and you're right, I'm not ready to settle down.
Thanks for the insight
Nigel Peggledin - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 10:30:54 EST ID:88K/BmwZ No.514694 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Listen my littlest nigga. Feeling trapped hurts everybody, including her. She feels scared cause she's got something wrong underneath the hood, ya feel me? You wanna be free like a bird snorting dextromethorphan deep in a K hole. I mean you wanna feel good. If this relationship ain't good, its bad, ya feel me my little, teeny tiny microscopic nigga?
Isabella Creshchock - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 14:16:16 EST ID:xQY7/x+6 No.514698 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Damn I had the same kinda girlfriend.

Was in a band that made a few hundred a week at bars and small festivals. GF partied hard but would go insane when other girls so much as looked at me on stage. Stopped partying in general and quit he band because I liked her (I'm an idiot) she complained I changed and asked why I don't do drugs and party with her. Asked why I lost my social status, got bored with me.

I left her after a few miserable years and now I play my music, talk to whoever I want, and don't let anyone tie me down.
Matilda Grandforth - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 14:30:33 EST ID:j5fiPK2O No.514699 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Taking a break is a friends meme.

Like all friends memes it plays out accurately in the show but people ignore that. The irony is people do all the shit which blew up in their face horrendously because it happened on a stupid show and somehow it's ruined tonnes of people. Even if you didn't watch friends you've just fucked a relationship up.

Taking a break doesn't make things better, either you need to redefine your boundaries long term or it's over. You're going to go back to the same shit except worse. She will resent what you did and you won't solve anything. Assuming that she's not super needy and doesn't just jump on the first dick she can because she's actually codepedent and needy as fuck.

[%[Joey the pick up artist was heartbroken and alone and Chandler "lord of the cakefart" married a girl he'd known since he was a teenager. The break ended up with the temporarily dumped guy getting drink and kissing someone else because he didn't really understand what on a break even meant. [/%]

You should have just told her what's up. And if she can't fix it, it's over. I suspect there's always been things you could do or could have done to avoid this situation but she's clearly displaying shitty behavior and things have escalated pretty badly. You should have nipped this in the bud if you ask me. But hey, you live and learn. You'll probably find another eventually.

social anxiety/uncomfortable with being perceived? by Elephant Mask Guy - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 20:23:21 EST ID:6rYLIVsB No.514648 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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tldr when I walk past mirrors theres this mental force that grabs my attention and makes me notice myself in the mirror, and its not positive, like I'm perceiving myself in a negative light, or expecting that, when I walk past a mirror. I don't even have to look at myself in the mirror, I expect it when passing it and get the same mental tunnel vision as the next example: When I'm in public, walking down a hallway, even when walking down a street with a car/person approaching me, I get mental tunnel vision and I can't just enjoy my walk, the presence of the other observer wacks me out. I believe both scenarios I've listed revolve around the same thing: I anticipate a negative reaction to my normal behavior and being? I've been conditioned to expect being rejected and feeling that I'm weird/a loser/deserving of social rejection? How can I take steps to get over this? This would make sense to a degree as I've experienced social rejection in my youth/life for expressing my natural behavior, and it is painful to be socially rejected, and it really deterred me from just being myself and saying what I want without fear of rejection.

Starting vispanna meditation, reading a book on it, I work out 3-5 days a week and am eating healthier/losing weight. So my life is on the right path I just need to get over this hump to get my social and personal confidence up.
Simon Buzzfuck - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 12:10:59 EST ID:ntgbOcpq No.514696 Ignore Report Quick Reply
its hard man, walk like you got alight pointing out your chest that blinds the haters and attracts the bugs

How much do you tolerate? by William Chandermare - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 12:50:42 EST ID:xN5RoLcn No.514660 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Some insight; as a dude in his late twenties who has lived most of his life alone, meaning no actual relationship. Many fuck buddies and such but rarely has anyone peaked my interest so that I would actually engage in a more emotional manner. This has resulted in me developing and following a certain standard of behaving when one would approach relationships. Its very utopic, fair and reasonable BUT its not an usual behavior by people which are run by egos and rash emotions which I completely understand.
Now, recently I met a girl and after a short period of great mutual interest in a lot of things decided to give it a go. I'm a very chaotic person and she is as well. Sadly her chaos enters her emotions and mine does not. In the last week and a half she started 3 very odd fights, which I completely don't understand why they exist. I mean, I see why but I cant accept those reasons.
She is probably so involved in me that her emotions and ego have clouded her judgement of freedom and expressions.
3 strikes are kinda my limit and I'm wondering as to why should I continue this journey. I really enjoy time with her BUT..when is it enough? Other than my father and sister my life is completely without fights and such so cutting her out would just put everything back to normal which I desire, but... another chance? another? another? Not sure.

So when do you break? Whats your limit, I'm genuinely curious. Give me some insight in the world of others as to why do you endure such irrational bullshit people give us..
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Ian Greendock - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 13:14:06 EST ID:W+KRkfID No.514663 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Well I've been heartless before as well as had to deal with it. Can also go back and forth. There's a sort of depth issue too. You might be consensual about the current and they might not be as irrational as you are oblivious. She might be expecting a behavior denoting a sort of meaning to what's in the present and if you're just enjoying it while she's picturing a progression BUT if you reassess and redefine you and her will magically transform so be sure to carry a mirror and shield. If you stay at it it will be as bad as the difference between your feelings. If fighting is the only way to get any attention.

Perhaps evade the issue entirely by going out and doing something positively distracting. Even then though she'll be expecting some occasional display of affection. I've found that lies come off better than truths anyway. If it feels wrong, do it. Telling a girl you actually love her is painful lol
William Chandermare - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 13:23:42 EST ID:xN5RoLcn No.514664 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I actually wholeheartedly agree with this. And I'm aware of it as well. She is far more committed to it than I am and that's the problem probably. Its not that Im making some big mistakes but its that she wants to eat a whole hand so to speak while im good with just a finger for now.
In two situations I have already thought ''Ok, im done with her now'' but later on I decide to try again because...hm, I guess I need to push through some shit to realize some stuff about relationships, if I always back out when it gets tough I might never understand certain stuff. To put it plainly and kinda ugly, I need experience. That just sound robotic, damn...

But about the lying part I disagree. I never lie, I simply can't. But I tend to avoid the truth which is kinda what I'm doing right now.
Phineas Greenway - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 13:51:41 EST ID:j5fiPK2O No.514665 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This mostly this.

Though also consider what people actually want from a relationship. Maybe what you expect is reasonable given the assumption everyone wants the same things you do. What does this girl want? Is there a mutually beneficial compromise? In other words "is she worth it?".
Cedric Pickgold - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 20:33:09 EST ID:xN5RoLcn No.514673 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I see this as a rhetorical but i'll answer, maybe it helps.
Is she worth it? In the long run, no.
She is a wonderful person no doubt, joyful and amusing but very emotional and desire driven therefor can be mean and spiteful just because her emotions tell her to be.
I see or... I saw a potential in her and I believed I could teach her to be a more complete person which she lacks because of her chaotic mind but maybe that task is out of my reach.
In a way, I'm a dreamer and I pictured many things that are obviously unrealistic. There are no butterflies in my stomach, something that rarely occurs....

I'll continue this charade for a while longer, but I'm at my last straw probably.
Oh well.
Cyril Fenningson - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 03:52:18 EST ID:pCPQRsXK No.514683 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Somewhat do not worry.

Unless you feel trapped

break up by Phoebe Brookman - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 10:52:57 EST ID:GJr5OAfh No.514655 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I have met this dude on the internet and I have talked to him everyday for at least a year, but recently he has been asking me to travel to his city so we can live together and even offered money for the plane ticket and all. I really don't want to commit so much and I don't know if I like him a whole lot anymore.

So, the question is: How can I end this relationship without hurting his feelings too much? He is a nice guy and he has been through some fucked up shit, so I want to cause the least possible emotional damage when breaking up.
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Lillian Bebberbodging - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 11:13:03 EST ID:1cNZZK18 No.514657 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I have 2 main experiences with online relationships.

The first time was an online girlfriend who came over to visit, and who I lost my virginity to. It was awkward and we weren't nearly as close "IRL" as we appeared to be online.

The second time was just a regular friend I'd met online and when he came over we didn't really gel as well together as I thought we would.

Basically both times it was a little underwhelming. So if you're saying that you
>don't know if I like him anymore
then, if my experiences are anything to go off, you're gonna get over there and like him even LESS.

So yeah, fuck moving away, you're gonna just have to tell him and it's going to be awkward and painful, but that's what happens.
Reuben Branderpine - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 12:35:11 EST ID:Uc73HBYO No.514658 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Sorry you're not a bitch lol
Delusion is extremely important to a guy. You can't just say I don't like you anymore. And you can't drag this on. If you break his heart you'll just curse another woman with having to deal with him. He'll either be all sad n shit or he'll might actually just like give up on feelings and just be totally emotionless and make another girl feel like total shit.
Not sure what the best lie would be but it should be realistic.
Angus Blythestock - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 12:35:22 EST ID:RKajAvia No.514659 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Sorry you're not a bitch lol
Delusion is extremely important to a guy. You can't just say I don't like you anymore. And you can't drag this on. If you break his heart you'll just curse another woman with having to deal with him. He'll either be all sad n shit or he'll might actually just like give up on feelings and just be totally emotionless and make another girl feel like total shit.
Not sure what the best lie would be but it should be realistic.
Phoebe Brookman - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 15:29:13 EST ID:GJr5OAfh No.514669 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I'm so confused.
Phineas Greenway - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 16:28:00 EST ID:j5fiPK2O No.514670 Ignore Report Quick Reply
There's a lesson both of you should have learned. The moment feelings happen meet up. In fact meet up before then but because that's impossible most of the time just arrange as soon as possible. Then this situation is avoided because he'd see you weren't interested.

Just so you learn next time. Most internet relationships fail but this at least gets the catfish and shit out the way. I mean maybe you would have had those feelings if you'd spent a year not just talking to this guy.

I've been "let down gently", catfished and even faced honesty. Honesty is the best. You already broke everything and that was a joint effort where you carried on for about 9 months longer than you needed to without meeting just make sure he heals as quickly as possible. If he realises you lied it'll build resentment. Fuck the delusion, you had feelings but you don't feel strongly enough to visit and if you don't know it's not getting stronger.

I've met a few people I met on line, mostly friends. I found that it takes a little while to click while the person you knew on line and this stranger sort of sync up, which varies depending how much you've done this and how brave you both are and with you. I made a couple of close friends out of people who I talked to on line but was already moving in the same social circles with. Maybe we'd have become great friends anyway, though knowing one of them and how awkward he is. No. And I'd probably be dead as a result. But these are people I had already been in the same room as "Oh yeah I was at that thing too, I'll say hi next time". I met some people from an MMO and that was alright too. Hosted a guild meet up. I think I developed a better than average ability to set my expectations though. Most of the time it's not going to be better. Especially if it's not good already.

Sorry for Vague by Hugh Blackridge - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 06:20:48 EST ID:TQeGA7XC No.514631 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I understand intellectually that I need to take personal responsibility for my actions, because no one is going to fix me life except me

It's just, I feel like all my real mistakes were made because I trusted a lifetime of bad advice given to me by people who weren't even aware they were lying. I spent to long focused on the wrong things, and I let amazing things slip through my fingers. Now nothing has meaning.

I just with there were some authority I could seek for an apology but nothing will ever satisfy that urge.

thank you for reading.
Edwin Moshbidging - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 09:21:55 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.514635 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Well considering the modern zeitgeist of everyone being a winner, you can be anything you want to be, and not being allowed to fail in general, I feel a lot of people can probably relate. Then again, I'm sure that's just the bad advice/messages parroted to our specific generation. I'm sure all of them so far have had shit advice they grew up hearing that they found out later was untrue or led them astray.

I can't say that I don't empathize with you, considering I feel much the same way (at least with the bad advice that they all genuinely believed in but turned out to be shit), but I don't personally think the advice itself is what landed me where I'm at now. Maybe I'm deluding myself, but I genuinely believe everyone has to wade through that horseshit advice and life sayings and figure out what they're supposed to be doing on their own after hitting a low point. That is unless they're incredibly lucky because they're super rich or something.

Once all the old meaning that things had for you gets stripped away by finally realizing the reality you find yourself in, you have to start making up the meaning from scratch based on your updated world view. That being said, this isn't as bad of a thing as it might seem right now. This was bound to happen at some point in your life, at least it happened for you while you were still relatively young, you know? I found myself at that point about 5 years ago and grew despondent for a while. Now though, things are finally fucking getting back on track, and although things will never be the same as they used to (everything having new meaning basically), there's nothing wrong with how things are now. When are things ever the same as they used to be? It might suck ass for a while, but you'll be better for it in the long run.
Jarvis Gasslenut - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 13:59:50 EST ID:j5fiPK2O No.514643 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Taking personal responsibility for your actions means the present and future. The past is done. You're in this situation and now you have to make the best of it. We are all dealt different hands in life all we can do is make the most of them. And really the past is as set in stone and unchangeable as the things before you were born. You're holding this hand at this moment. You can play it and that is all.

Closure or that feeling of things being made right is something you can only give yourself.

A lot of us have been let down or given less than perfect opportunities or taught lies or whatever. It doesn't change that you have your opportunities, strengths, weaknesses and limits and you have to do the best you can.

That is my experience of life.
Angus Crublingshit - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 03:39:37 EST ID:ntgbOcpq No.514654 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i feel you op, i feel you hard.

I blame doctors mostly, but i get you even if thats not what you mean

just need to vent by Hamilton Sannerfere - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 16:01:35 EST ID:rsP7RrTt No.514645 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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hey i just need to let this out and someone hear it

Seriously, man, I am so sick of smoking away every god. damn. day.
I can't even believe it; 4 years since I started smoking weed, and the last 3 1/2 full fucking years have been spent high or miserable.
I only realized because my friends were talking about fucking parties of all thigns and tracing back the last three years of birthday parties we threw for our friend, I just saw it all, three years I barely even remember, barely can stand to think about, just bullshit between a few drug filled high notes, barely feel like anything has changed.
My hands found my face and I just sat there, staring into the ground like "what the fuck..."

8 years ago I had just entered college- the town I came from was a backwards shithole and I had been basically homeless and couch surfing the last two years of high school, but I put all my energy into keeping a high gpa, and got into a out of state college. I was crazy into being a fighter, I was all about doing whatever needed to be done, overachiever, never even touched drugs. I stayed outside a lot because it was the only thing i could appreciate for free. I poured all my crazy into art and learning and trying to move past the bullshit I grew up in. I moved, left basically nothing behind but a few friends, living out of my truck, made it through two years stressed out keeping everything together- when my college said I owed them $8,0000 I didn't have before I could re-enroll. There was no one I could ask for this money, Soon after, lost my job- job market in this town was terrible, spent a year trying to save money between gigs and jobs and food and rent in winter, and came away with basically nothing except keeping the debt stable.
This destroyed most of my social life I had made and life just became a long series of constantly managing looking for work. Then my car died. I had no money to fix it or rent and was homeless again, and moved in with a friend in a different city.
I told my self, this is my new beginning, I'm starting from day one, right here!
Nothing worked out. I got a new job writing like crazy, I put a ton of a passion into it and tried to use it to rebuild my social life and connections and i did get recognition... most of what it got me was a lot of drama, and the impossible expectations of strangers. The jobs you get between internet writing don't provide that much. None of it was really enough to get anywhere, and then my friend lost there house and I got really sick and it caused all kinds of pain flair up and extreme exhaustion I and ended up moving in with an ex, living a mattress in their kitchen, because I was barely able to keep up day by day and only had the money i had saved and the internet to connect with people.

life just fucking fell away. Things got dark internally. I just barely could deal with trying to stay connected to people- I became so fucking depressed and avoided people. my old friends all thought I would "make it" and seemed disappointed in me. my close relationships were suffering and internally everything and everyone seemed meaningless, and i was starting to have serious breakdowns. my life reduced down to this shitty lonely room, staring at the roof, barely able to got up and down stairs. Barely able to think clearly.

But then, randomly, while at a free clinic trying to get anyone i could to look at my joint pain, I met this person I really clicked with- she introduced my to a bunch of herbal heath practices which ended up helping a lot with my exhaustion, and I was able to get to more doctors, and eventually started making a real recovery.
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Molly Cenderham - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 20:18:06 EST ID:n1yNxChx No.514647 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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i'm gonna say it's the weed, and anything else that you have going on that's fucking up your body. if weed is bad for you, it's bad for you. don't do it.
at least, that's my experience in my own life.
you can get your drive back, though i don't know exactly how. i think good health is the place to start.

that, and don't block out the sadness

good luck

girl by Samuel Grimdock - Wed, 15 Mar 2017 23:12:01 EST ID:fh02z0OB No.514480 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Met girl over summer, we hit it off, she started pursuing me, I kinda pushed her away for various reasons (mostly insecurity and I didn't know how to handle it), she moved on, I decided I wanted her pretty bad, we started hanging out again, she ended up fucking my friend after we all hung out, I got mad and told her not to talk to me unless she wanted to get together, she got mad at me and shit, basically they ended up in a relationship. I accepted it and let her become a friend. Then he dumped her and we started talking again for like a week, but I never made a move again because I'm fucking retarded, then they hooked up again after a party. So I told her not to talk to me unless those two are done and she wants to get together, and she basically just said "I'm sorry that's how you feel" or some shit.

Am I being a dick? I wasn't trying to be punitive or anything, I just really don't want to be the "friend" here. I don't want to pretend like it's fine when she's fucking our mutual friend and I'm obviously still into her. I want what I want and I don't want to settle on this. I mean, I'm talking to other girls and shit too, but she's really got me. I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna back down and let them make me into a "friend" of hers again, even if they continue with a relationship. It's not what I want. Am I being a dick? Like we're all in the same friend group and hang out every week or every other week or so to get fucked up. Idk man.
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Samuel Grimdock - Thu, 16 Mar 2017 17:18:05 EST ID:fh02z0OB No.514516 Ignore Report Quick Reply

At least I know I'm delusional though. That's why I told her we shouldn't talk in the first place. I know how awkward and shit it is to have someone pining after you and getting in their feelings about shit you were barely aware of. I've had girls act that way towards me, get mad at me, etc, all for shit that was barely on my radar at the time.

To be fair, I did hurt this girl over the summer. She was really into me, we would snap every day, she sent explicit stuff, etc. I can't even blame her for fucking the guy after a while because I was so fucked up in my head. I've been getting a lot better and focusing on growing as a person, becoming less of an anxious mess, etc, but I still have a lot of sexual insecurity so when things heat up with a girl I'm really into, I get a little distant. There's been other girls but idk, with them it just doesn't feel the same.

I guess I'll just do what I told her we'd do and not talk to her unless she ends up wanting me. Going back on that now would make me look like a weak little bitch again. I'm not really okay with being just friends with her, so fuck it. I couldn't think of a better way to handle this situation.
Walter Drengerstock - Thu, 16 Mar 2017 19:04:53 EST ID:S8aa+yjs No.514519 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I didn't read what anyone else in this thread said and I don't really care but for you that doesn't sound like an ideal situation to be in. Are they your only friends? Maybe try hanging out with other people for awhile. besides if you keep hanging around them then you aren't really giving her a chance to miss you.

So meanwhile you're hurting because you're friend got the girl you want and you are idling waiting for your turn. Doesn't sound like it will end well friend.

You're gonna do what you want at the end of the day and make your choices based upon the delusions you built around her but theres alays other choices you could make. Just remember that.
Phineas Dinkinweck - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 00:47:26 EST ID:fh02z0OB No.514535 Ignore Report Quick Reply

I went and hung out with some other friends tonight, which was sorta fun. The people I hung out with are sorta intertwined with the group I normally chill with in a way, but meh, maybe I'll start kicking it with them. I got invited to hang out with the girls friend but I assumed she would be there so didn't go tonight. Even though me and the girl's friend are kinda close. Idk. I might have hurt her too at this point. It's hard for me to tell.

You're right though. I'm just gonna see about hooking up with some hoes on tinder or something and hopefully deal with some of my insecurities. If she ever hits me to hang out, I'll go for it, but unless that happens I'm gonna avoid her. It's not what I instinctively want to do, I want to be around her and talk to her and shit, but nah. This is hard. I'm a few beers deep but I set up plans to take one of the guys out to some bars before he goes a few hours away to work for a while. At least for this weekend I don't think I'll have to see her.
Nell Snodbury - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 01:27:14 EST ID:k1vvRgQN No.514541 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Move on man. Meet new people. Makes new circles. There's another girl that's as sexy as your current one but who will want you
Jarvis Bunningshit - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 14:57:58 EST ID:fh02z0OB No.514644 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Welp. We ended up getting into an argument after she came over to get something from my house, and she basically just kept repeating that we're "just friends" and I told her nah, don't want that, and it was this whole big thing so now we basically just agreed to ignore each other from now on. Lol.

Miss my ex in a platonic way by Nigel Porringchedging - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 05:51:30 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.514627 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've posted a bit about this girl before years ago

>4 years ago
>started dating girl who was very close friend growing up
>she started cheating on me the day my best friend killed himself, with another friend
>Shitty as fuck year

I haven't seen or talked to her since 2013
>at after party of some show
>See her, im like wtf
>end up sitting at this party with her for 4 hours doing blow and talking
>Take her home, lay on her couch with her for like 12 hours talking about life
>She lives at ex boyfriends house, on the couch
>She was a travelling crust punk for 3 1/2 years
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Nigel Porringchedging - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 08:07:24 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.514632 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Now she just started following me on instagram at 6 am so i'm just confused
Nigel Porringchedging - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 08:46:55 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.514633 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>You could ask if she wanted to crash on your couch or something instead of living in squalor, but it might be emotionally draining on both of you. It would still be a better environment tho, and maybe a better arena for her to stop drinking her life away and start applying for better work to get her own apartment or something. Maybe gettin some professional help

I've thought about this, but theres no way she'd want to live by me. I don't live in the city, and i'm moving even further into the boonies in a few months to be closer to my apprenticeship. Plus, she doesn't seem like she wants to better herself that much. She did mention that she has some money saved from her pizza job and is getting an apartment in a better part of town though.

>Honestly, it's probably best to just leave her alone. It's a good thing wanting to do something, but usually people in situations like that don't want pity or help.
True, but I thought it was strange because she told me that I'm the only person shes told that shes gotten raped, she hasn't even told her best girlfriends because she thought they'd judge her, so I thought it was a cry for help from someone she trusts. She said that the only other person shes told is her ex boyfriend whose couch she lives on and hes just completely disgusted by her, and she also says that she doesnt believe in psychologists, she believes in telling people she trusts about her problems.

>I have been in something kinda similar, and I just ended up pretty jaded by the whole affair. I don't know tho, you just gotta do what feels like the right thing to do. It might be as easy as being a friend to her, grabbing cup of tea once in a while or something.

Yea, I'll probably offer to take her out for breakfast sometime soon, or go see an old friends new band.
Nathaniel Hidgemedging - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 11:16:34 EST ID:n1yNxChx No.514640 Ignore Report Quick Reply
you can try to help when you can but only badness will result from trying to control her or things in general
Nigel Porringchedging - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 13:45:26 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.514642 Ignore Report Quick Reply
yea, i learned this from her years ago.
Blackie-Chan - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 22:21:07 EST ID:YSgLqHnY No.514652 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Miss my ex
I'm gonna stop you right there. Once someone scars you so much that you can't forgive them, even when they apologize, you should just excise them from your life.
So your ex's life went to shit after you two broke up. What does that have to do with you or your life?
Don't let your ex's shitty luck or judgement fuck up your life.

Rape Question: Please Help!!! by Wesley Crockletit - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 03:22:41 EST ID:PP6wg+TW No.514604 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Sup guys.
I wanted to know if this is considered rape?

The girl said no so I pretended not to hear her and then I raped and murdered her.

Was this illegal?
Cyril Brambletudge - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 08:29:45 EST ID:2cRqUGEL No.514609 Ignore Report Quick Reply

you see we don't know all the facts. Did she go back to your house? Didn't she know murderers LIVE in houses? I mean she's just an idiot if she went home with a random stranger that could be potentially a murderer. Maybe she shouldn't have been wearing clothes that exposed her neck that would entice people into wanting to slit her throat or choke her?

OP I think you're a fine dude and you did nothing wrong. It's clear it was her fault.
George Menkinville - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 22:04:42 EST ID:gu/lq3ms No.514613 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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it'd be illegal not to
Thomas Nunnerdale - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 23:05:53 EST ID:LwDdrKTU No.514616 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Was this illegal?
not if you're in hawaii
Cedric Goodfuck - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 08:55:54 EST ID:htL0lErB No.514634 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yes this was illegal
Nathaniel Hidgemedging - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 11:04:10 EST ID:n1yNxChx No.514638 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i'm pretty sure you're fine dude

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