>>527759
I feel so bad for the second girl. She's Cuban(just like me) I usually only tend to date other latinos because my family approves of it more. I've never dated a 100% european American woman though. I used to date nigs so. But she really likes me and I dont know how to break it off. Would it be better for me to tell her to just be friends for a while?

>>527762
You've been apart from your ex 3 days. You might be clean but you're still emotionally about 9 years old if you think you can just move on. Take some time to properly get your shit in order and get over your ex.

You spend a lot of time thinking about your ex and this is a mix of your choice and your lack of distractions. Focus on other things, the key isn't to obsess yourself with not thinking about her but just when you do (not if) just stop. Don't pursue that rabbit hole. In time she'll drop out your dreams. OR stop romanticising what a piece of trash she is. Actually take some time apart from her and look how fucked up she is.

But focus on your life. You are going to hurt this new girl anyway, you've been 3 days away from your ex and NEW DATE.

On some level it disturbs me that you can find a relationship so quickly but honestly this new girl is probably as fucked up on some level if she doesn't see the warning signs and bail on you soon. You've not gone through the grieving process and accepted your ex is gone. You need to take time until it sinks in, be miserable, accept you'll eventually get over it, spend time on your life and one day realise you don't really hurt any more.

So she wasn't an addict until she met you and tried to leave to get clean? Sounds like she is as messed up as you are buddy but it's her first rodeo. Tbh she doesn't sound super evil or anything, just trying to get her life on track but also relying on others to live, hence the cheating. Still that shit isn't on. But homelessness ain't great. Either way she was living the only way she knew.

In rehabs and shit they tell you not to get too attached to your fellow addicts because they'll let you down and then you'll spiral down after them. That's what happened to her. You're only clean after this break up. But yeah you're at risk of spiralling again.

Love has many grand ideas and shit but if you dont want to have a bitter relationship after the novelty fails you need to build it on those boring every day foundations like positive communication and having your shit together. You guys failed that. I know the romantic in you wants her back and it's not the worst idea if you want to continue your chaotic exciting life, but you'll both be hurting and spiralling through that.

I just dont think that you can go through those hard emotionally charged conversations with her without relapsing bro. Imagine an argument that boils up over something like her not getting home on time or whatever and you're sus and then she starts throwing daggers because she didn't do anything wrong this time. You'll want to run off and get high.

As for the Cuban girl, fuck her off. She's a rebound. You don't owe her anything mr martyr.

>>527755
When moving on, the WORST thing you can do is compare a new partner to your ex

They are not your ex, nor a replacement. You will have a different type of compatibility and a different relationship experience altogether. Focusing on comparing will only stop you from moving on.

>>527755
Do what makes you happy. People will say you can never trust her and she will cheat on you again, which is probably true, but if spending time with her makes you happy then I think you should do that, just don't try and make it a serious monogamous relationship and just be fuck buddies. She's too old for you anyway so fuck buddies is the best situation.

I bet the answer you're looking for is only a handful of identical threads away. Keep trying OP.

Join the military
Fuck your cat

>>527716
maybe fuck the military.. join your cat..

think about it

>>527696


This. I moved tryna get away from everyone. Can confirm still feel like shit.

>>527748
Word, nigga. Every town and city has just as little to do and sucks to live in. The problem isn't the town, it's you. Yeah, there's some random different shit here and there to occupy your time with in a different area, but the shit available to do will become as mundane and unappealing within a matter of a couple of weeks.

The only solution then, if you're determined to run away, is to keep on running endlessly. In little time at all the constant running will too become as shitty and tedious as your everyday life where you currently are is right now. Things are always changing, but they always stay the same.

That's why the only answer to a dilemma like this is that you have to change, rather than trying to change everything else around you to solve your problems--you're the only true constant here, after all.

Time to fix your fuckin life bro

Honestly it's their fault that they won't drive you to the airport. Fucking assholes!!! You shouldn't have to take the bus.

dude you post the same threads on 4skins /adv/ and they're tired of your shit too
ban this faggot for good!

>>527751

Listen here you shmoe. Winter town is full opportunities and your parents are doing it for your own good. Summer town is a thinly veiled excuse for hedonism and debauchery that is self gratifying in the short term but ultimately subjects your life to internal chaos and anguish.

I blame the Russians for their subversive propaganda portraying summer town as the cure for all woes. They keep getting Beyoncé and jay to insert subliminal pro summertown imagery into their music videos and in my view, they are to blame for your misery and failed relationships.

It's weird like, I thought if I just kept focusing on other things like going out and partying and work, I'd get over her. And it worked for like the month I've been down here, until I saw that fucking snapchat. I didn't even open her snap, I could just see the guy asleep. It might not even be a guy she's fucking, but I mean it probably is.

Turns out, for me at least, even if I can distract myself for a while it all comes back around and hits me even harder the next time. Seasonal effective disorder or whatever is coming on. Shit hurts. Even though I'm going out and I'm pretty confident and shit wrt girls it doesn't seem to help the pain. Ignoring it doesn't, focusing on other things doesn't because it comes back around, "feeling the pain" doesn't because neuroscientists have shown thinking about some thought strengthens the pathway for that thought and similar thoughts end up growing out of it...

I've been through heartbreak before, and it took like a full year if not longer. This girl was what finally made me not care at all about the girl before her. I just really hope it doesn't last that long for her. I liked her even more than the previous one. Then there's the lazyness. I moved away from everyone to study and get good at programming. Learn my algo's and work on shit. All I've done is learn more IT shit at work, and ignore the programming. How am I supposed to move into development at this rate? How am I supposed to find someone down here? I just don't feel much hope I guess.

I am processing some hearbreak too OP. I was forced to end a 5 year relationship because we were both miserable and fought all the time, but we still loved and cared about each other so it was extremely hard. Tried to distract myself by going out, with other women, etc. Found a girl who I fell madly in love with only for her to reveal a heroin addiction and ghost me right when I thought things would get serious and permanent. So now that my initial rebound stage is over, and my grief of losing such a wonderful relationship to heroin is over, I realize I never allowed myself to grieve for the loss of the long-term relationship, and now I am trying to process that while not drinking myself to death.

The only advice I can give is to force yourself to tend to your biological needs as best you can, even if you don't want to. Eat adequate amounts of healthy meals, be hygienic, clean your living space, get enough sleep, don't drink every night, etc. This is all easier said than done. But if you get your brain chemistry optimized it helps in letting the grief wash over you and pass through you. TBH right now I am the least miserable I have been in like 8 years, and it's because I just focused on my physiological needs when I was unable to help myself emotionally. Though I am still struggling like you.

Good luck OP. To you and me both. *raises beer*

Well yeah. Transitioning is hard and you'll feel insecure. You know what to do though. Give yourself the self care and trust that you have what it takes to adapt. It's easy to linger in feelings of envy and jealousy buy you'll find that you have a lot going for you. Forget about her

>>527710
>>527713

Thanks

>>527654
This is an old topic. OP is a mirror image of his girlfriend and that's why they get on, because while they have different beliefs they hold to them and identify with them and compare the world through their lense and so on in the same way. They are both immature and have not yet found the nuance in their beliefs and if they grow up and become more complete adults they may be able to compromise or reconcile enough to live a happy life, or they'll entrench further like teenagers and tear each other apart. OP has not come back because either we got through to him or he realised we weren't going to tell him what he wanted to hear and buggered off. Either way that's a better result than this topic continuing.

nb

>>527658
Based Last Psychiatrist tier posts

>>527658

no, because she is honest about her uncompromising beliefs and he just sits there and feels superior while using her and being duplicitous

>>527678

>calls SJW groupthink "uncompromising beliefs"

Whew

Well if you want your girl to change, OP, it might be a better idea to talk to her than to tell an imageboard about her.

Oh wait, this is just a low-effort troll thread copy-pasted from somewhere else.

The answer is focus. As you've said, you could do any of that shit but you cant focus.

So focus. Sit at your desk and set a timer. Practice that shit. Try to approach flow, when you lose track of time. But that requires the aptitude to feel no doubt, which requires practice, that requires patience.

So yeah. Do it.

>>527689
Enlightenment is a state that only allows enlightenment. Thats why people who chase it rarely do anything but meditation.
To be a full human being I think you need some spirituality/connection to feelings/dreams and you also need to train the ego to work for/with you. See it as a tool that allows you to navigate the human world.
Walk both paths or walk none of them, Alan Watts has a beautiful talk on that topic.

As CHarlotte said, train the brain to focus on things, little by little it will get better. You need to realize that your obsession with being too ill to create just creates a feedback loop. Every time you check how you feel before you start soething you give more power to the concept. Just accept where you are now, work with what you have and START.
I know what its like to be depressed and losing hope in everything, especially the own abilities and I've had the same problem for the past months where I'm not really able to bring myself to paint most of the time. But once I started, there was a flow for half an hour and then it stopped and I started judging how I need ore time painting to get better/how I am not what I need to be anymore etc. This just increases my self loathing and I don't even begin painting in fear of failing and feeling that pain. Not painting increases the problem aswell though, so I need to stop judging and start accepting what is while doing the best I can..

So this post is mostly directed at myself but maybe it helps you aswell.

Look mate, flow states are reserved for people who are familiar enough with what they are doing to begin to lose themselves in it. Build up a base of belief, competence, technique, confidence and focus - with time, the flow state will arise naturally.

I've probably clocked in 5-800 hours of drawing and painting this year. There are times I'll have drawn for 50+ hours in a week. At times, it were as if an autopilot took over and maneuvered my hand without any conscious decision making - at least, not in a way I am familiar with. I remember a page from my practices, were I basically generated insects, birds and woodlands within a few minutes, accurately, first time, with basically zero thought and 100% flow. This occurs because you become so familiar with what you are doing that it no longer becomes something you have to think about. Without practice, it won't occur because you are going to get stuck generating the answers to visual problem solving.

I experience the same thing cycling these days for quick reaction moments and particularly challenging obstacles - I am reacting faster than I am thinking. Again, it's just about familiarity, repetition and the belief in my ability to execute.

I'd recommend you just practice daily and give yourself larger pieces to work on from time to time. I usually set aside at least 2 hours to just do quick 5-30 minute sketches of random shit on flickr. Learn techniques, experiment and figure out what the fuck you are doing. Always push yourself to attempt more complexity and execute your visions as well as you can. Problem solve, feel accomplished. With time, this flow stuff will kick in.

I don't like the conflation of flow state with spirituality. Nor do I think that meditation is a particularly enlightened mode of being. Enlightenment is overrated, at least compared to the wonderful depictions like your attached picture. I got into zen buddhism in 2012 and have never really lost my way from some of the core concepts, but after a long time getting lost in meditations, lectures, books etc. I reached a fairly underwhelming conclusion and perspective. It's all just pretty simple shit. Take peace in that, but don't go all overboard thinki…

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>527689
take it from me. do not get stuck looking at the ideal and doing nothing to get there. you will get dashed on the rocks of life... it hurts. figure out your depression. if your sleep, diet, lack of exercise etc is out of whack, do positive lifestyle changes if you aren't.

>>527676

If I ask her out and she says "no" then work will be extra difficult and I don't fancy switching. Additionally I don't really think I am ready for a relationship yet.

>>527680

All dogs must bury their bone somewhere. Look to pastures further afield and hopefully that squashes it.

>>527673

So in 2 weeks you've went from just friends to completely enamored? I guess if you see her 5 days a week or whatever, but damn. I'd ask her out if it were me, and if she rejected me I'd just play it off like no big deal and try to get on with it. Rejection tends to make you even more obsessed, though, so you'd have to be ready to deal with the pain and try to reduce contact to only what's necessary after that happened.

The alternatives: Find another job and ask her out, find another job and don't ask her out and move on, or just wait and eventually she'll end up with someone else and you'll get hurt anyway.

>>527683

I don't know what I'm gonna do, but thank you for the advice.

>>527683

>Rejection tends to make you even more obsessed

I've found that having that hope squashed is actually pretty liberating. You can't think about the ifs or maybes and feed the limerence and can get on with shit. However if you do act, act quickly before its a big thing and make it relatively low key, make the move low key, and if she shoots you down be ready to just talk about something else as if nothing happened.

If she doesn't feel like it was a big deal then it won't be a big deal and everything will not be ruined. I guess it depends how you take rejection. You know this better than we do.

You need to tell me of what kind of sensitive information you have stumbled upon that is only if you haven’t become “in a wheel-chair” yet! Just kidding tell me anyways. You might be me trying to contact me from the past or the future and I’m here telling you it’s okay to say it here. No worries.

>>527538
I googled the origin's of radiohead's name. It's named after a talking heads song because their first choice of name was taken. The talking heads song is not to do with picking up unwanted signals but if taken literally is someone transmitting. I'm not an expert and lyrics are open to interpretation but I'd say it's about the hope and adventure of a new relationship, meeting someone and saying that you pick up on the signals (we all communicate in a variety of forms after all) that they send and they like what they promise. That this person seems like they're going to be a new and satisfying adventure.

Anyway I think that's about as far from what this guy interpreted it to mean as is possible while still relating to the words "radio head".

>>527571
In a moment of brilliance, I posted a conspiracy theory on /tinfoil/ that cut a little to close

>>527538
I looked for ghosts when I was a kid and it could very well be why I have had visual hallucinations on larger doses of thc. I draw connections that aren't there and believe the craziest shit because of it. You're absolutely in saying "logic over everything". Lead me to stop thinking the idea is possible

>>527574
It was overzealous of me to jump to that conclusion about their name

>>527672

It takes a long time bro. Get there one victory at a time. In order to dismantle incorrect beliefs, you must be able to face/admit/recognise you are wrong. This can briefly sting but would you rather be wrong and fix it or wrong but tell yourself you are right.

Depends on how deep you’ve gone. I realised that a lot of my schizophrenic style beliefs were a result of beliefs I held that were “leading” me to these ridiculous conclusions.

Hopefully you handle it dude.

>>527671
Same here, 2 year-GF turned into FWB, I lost all of my friends due to depression and pushing them away..
I'm constantly checking fb/phone for messages from her and it's pretty annoying but I have zero other contacts and my parents are unavailable to talk to. My father is drunk and can't even cope with his own feelings, mother never really listens and when I try to tell her about my problems she starts going off how good she feels/how bad she felt when she was my age and how it's all getting better..but she just got pregnant twice and had no time to think about anything else. Now she just eats and drinks at night until both fall asleep infront of the tv..

We both need other people to relate to and speak to, because it's human nature to share problems/reflect on them while talking to others. Go out, work on your isolation and challenge it every day. Be brave and smile at people, get to know them and if nothing helps, get some help. Hope you#re from some country with free healthcare, I get 5 sessions for free in germany and I might be putting those to use soon.'
Also if you're not doing it already, force yourself to physical exercise every day: start with walking for an hour, just switch up the routes and then after a few weeks/months you can up the heartrate and go for a jog/lift some weights(proper form>weight!). Exercise reduces mental stress and reduces flight/fight response of the brain in difficult situations, allowing you to be more collected when going outside.

My problem might be taking care of itself since she fell in love with her roommate recently and we won't be hanging out a lot but that just means I'm going into full isolation in a bit and thats even scarier since I can't handle shit at the moment..

>>527677

>My problem might be taking care of itself

Until this bit I thought it was a good post. Both of you have the same problem. The problem is you have 1 friend. The whole FWB feelings danger is a symptom not the problem itself. You need more friends.

I'd probably tell her that you value her friendship for a start.

But yeah get like a therapist or counselor or whatever or join a group to meet new peoples etc. No point staying isolated. It will kill you and you don't want to be dependent like you are now on one person. It really strains relationships.

>>527659

>my being a good boy with 0 edge dried up my girlfriends pussy so she went for a rebel woah totally didn't see this coming

Welcome to female dualism 101

All conventional just b urself dating advice is a bunch of stallion bullshit


You're better off role-playing as the biblical king Solomon and having hundreds of concubines and wives and not having to worry about a single woman, especially in today's world

>>527660
someone isn't a jaded incel 4chins refugee at all...

>>527661

Call me any name under the sun you want, I've actually been the Other Guy multiple times in my life (as in the guy who choke fucked some dude's wife/giflfriend/mother [i like milfs sue me]) and I've seen plenty of shit from the other side to know that all the "incel rage" you like to poke fun at has credibility.

Not 100% but the nerd male rage is justified and the Chad theory does hold weight in reality.

But go on, disregard me, call me a liar and continue to tell people online to be yourself. You can have the last word. Enjoy.

>>527663

Yeah but the main issue I have with it is the amount of sweeping generalisations. It’s like oh hey let’s make everything fit this one cutesy narrative that’s totally self defeating and relies upon a lot of *jazz hands* vague logic.

Half this shit just sounds dumb. You should know this if you’ve really been “that guy”. Unless you’ve fallen into some neurotic rabbit hole, in which case it makes a lot of sense.

>>527663

>i use retarded circlejerk tropes
>i'm totally the bull guys not the stallion

>>527541
time has passed. the poo has pooed. it was not the poo we thought, but it was the poo that the universe gave us. higher perspective of poos say that it could be no other way. but when we nurture the poo, water the poo, eat the right things for the poo, suddenly we find that the poo that is made is more than we could have hoped for. this is the poo that is the redemption poo; lo, all will know and all revere and in awe, the poo has grown into a mighty poo oak. most important of all, this poo oak from its beginnings was grown with love.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYAQtEs2Img
replace all the necessary words with "poo" and "the poo"

you should poo in the bag and huff the poo enhanced spores

may you poo in peace

>>527546
as a parting gift, here is another poo document which will serve you especially well

>>527547
OP here, I actually really appreciate all this poo literature, since I have a very troubled digestive system, so I have all the time in the world for this - the truth is, my rucksack is still sitting in a plastic bag, and since it has some leather panels, a nice lining etc I'm really not sure if it's machine washable. My farts smell absolutely vile, I think it's the pasta and bread I eat, and I've decided I don't want to poo into my rucksack. I just want a cleaning regime that'll work for me. I should probably handwash it in a basin with some detergent, but I don't want people to think I'm a fag. Guys I think what I need is some moral support

-post that is irrelevant to poop but on topic of thread-

Try not to smoke for a bit, maybe a week. If you're concerned about your lungs, try not to bother them with hot smoky air.

As for the rucksack, toss that shit in the laundry with some bleach. What I recommend: pour detergent in the empty machine first, then take the bleach and literally just pour a cap-full in there, that's all you need. Then maybe put some white garments in first so the rucksack doesn't make direct bleach contact and get stained. Then toss the rucksack in and run the washing machine, try to use a rinse cycle that's about 5-10 mins longer than usual. That'll kill the mold.

For extra caution, once the rucksack has dried, store it in a freezer for two days. Mold n gone

I'm surprised no one has actually responded appropriately to this thread yet haha
Unless I just got seriously woooshed

>>527646
Thank you so much, this is what I was looking for. I am a bit nervous about putting it in the washing machine... but it's time I took action. I have let this go on long enough. I hope I don't get cancer from using this bag

>>527586
"so I checked my wifes facebook" should be the first sign for yourself to reevaluate the relationship and how much you trust the person you want to spend your life with.

Get out of there asap or start talking to her so you two can develop some kind of trust in each other. Given that she cheated possibly twice already I'd be gone already but some people have bigger trust in others than I do..or chose to be blind to their intuition

>>527645
Depends what he means by "checked her facebook" if he means someone posted something on her wall and she asked it to be deleted then it's reasonable. If he logged into her account the relationship is fucked. That's not cool, and if you don't trust your other half enough to leave their account alone then that is a severely ill relationship. It may be because she's sketchy as fuck and distant and these aren't the only warning signs or it may be that actually OP is fucked up. But either way the trust isn't there and you either restore it or accept you can't and move on.

>>527647

No rules in warfare other than your own self imposed ones.

>>527586

>>527586

You're just being paranoid. She definitely isn't cheating at all, no reason to worry my man, this could be a simple cover up of a drunken photo that she finds embarrassing, and if your wife were cheating on you, what would this anonymous tipster gain by informing you. If it were a friend, they would contact you directly, no, this is no doubt some attempt at slander, or an attempt to break you up by a jealous ex. All the signs are there, the anonymity, the idea that she would even put any kind of picture on facebook that implicates her in infidelity, I mean why would she do such a thing. These sort of things happen on facebook, and if you put too much faith in facebook my man, it can make you paranoid.

Take it easy, and don't do any more probing on facebook, it's not healthy, stop this before it escalates and you get trapped by paranoia.

>>527650

Seriously, if you take your relationship seriously, no more facebook checking and dirty underhanded spying, it's seriously unhealthy, and downright petty. You're better than this.