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am i being an arsehole or not by Augustus Sishlock - Tue, 25 Apr 2017 13:44:50 EST ID:NoKU4Mj+ No.515778 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So I'm living with my ex and it's fucking hell for both of us. The other day, she was chilling in a local park with one of my housemates and a 'friend' of mine came over and started chatting to her as he usually would (I wasn't there I was just told this). The 'friend' in question is already known to fancy the pants off of her and as soon as he realised he liked her, every time we'd all bump into each other while the relationship was still happening, he would be subtly belittling and condescending towards me (you could see him thinking that I wasn't good enough for her), while he would be emphatically overjoyed to talk to her. I realise because of this that he isn't really a friend and like to keep my distance now.

Apparently though, they got on well and talked about 'deep shit' to do with personal issues, but she insists very strongly she has no sexual/romantic attraction to him (despite acknowledging that he is good looking from 'neutral standpoint') and wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. Regards of this, they made plans to go to coffee together and he was talking to her about taking her to a fire jam. Apparently she was really excited about this because she doesn't have many friends around here and was excited to leave the house.

However, because I'm starting to think more and more that this guy is a disingenuous smarmy bastard (and I know for a fact that all he wants is to get in her knickers), I strongly implored her *not* to spend time with him simply on the grounds that he was supposed to be a friend to me, and instead acted belittling towards me simply because he wanted to fuck her, and that it would hurt me emotionally if he then got what we wanted.

She is now really pissed off and upset about this and with me, however she is doing what I ask and not seeing or talking to him.

Is this a reasonable request of an ex partner who you still live with or am I being manipulative and controlling?
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George Semmlespear - Sat, 29 Apr 2017 09:42:02 EST ID:tuYIGJeT No.515882 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515778
Your ex-friend is a dick and you're also too controlling. You shouldn't be telling anybody who they can and can't see. I also live with my ex and I see who I want, he gets jealous sometimes but he knows he just has to deal with it bc if he tried to tell me what to do he'd be kicked the fuck out. We're usually on good terms but there has been some really shitty times bc we still live together and he's moving out at the end of the lease, thank fuck. If I were you I'd make other arrangements ASAP, it's not good for you to want to control someone that way and it's just as bad for her to have to accept it.
>>
Ebenezer Cribberridge - Sat, 29 Apr 2017 17:34:25 EST ID:AkBTpOns No.515883 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>my ex

>getting involved with her affairs

maybe you should...not...do that..?
>>
Cyril Begglehat - Sat, 29 Apr 2017 21:29:33 EST ID:OAGzXzE1 No.515884 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP, you's a bitch. Get over it. Your friend is a dick. Your ex needs to tell you to fuck off. You made living with each other hell.

>>515883
This
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Ghengis Dong - Mon, 01 May 2017 12:17:59 EST ID:rwLX+pq3 No.515916 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You're being an arse.

I lived with my ex only six months after our breakup because of a whole lot of stupid circumstances. It aggravated the usual mopy break up feels, but these subsided and eventually I was in a relationship with a much hotter and much younger girl.

Around the same time, my other roomate's asshole, freeloading friend who was constantly dropping in unannounced and crashing on our couch started hooking up with my ex.

All the old bullshit started reappearing alongside new more loathsome feelings.

Even though he was a real piece of shit and a terrible partner: a rude, lazy, misogynist, and a conservative muslim that literally shamed her the fact that they were having sex out of wedlock. (She was of course, a hairy armed women's liberationist flower-child) I recognized that this anger was just possesiveness on my part. When someone justifiably thinks their friend's partner is shit, they tell them as much, and though it's frustrating it doesn't consume people the way jealousy does.

I had a roommate tell me I was never to bring a friend around our apartment because he found him annoying and rude, and I told him to go pound sand. You have no control over whom your roommate associates with, and the fact that she's your ex should have no bearing on that fact. Unless he's a thief or a risk you can't do anything besides kindly request she avoids bringing him around while you're at home. That's still an imposition, but it's at least a little more delicate.
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James Sammleridge - Tue, 02 May 2017 11:59:15 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.515939 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515778
>you could see him thinking that I wasn't good enough for her
Consider that this is all in your head OP
> but she insists very strongly she has no sexual/romantic attraction to him
Has she ever done anything that broke the trust ? If not you should probably just accept this.
>She is now really pissed off and upset about this and with me, however she is doing what I ask and not seeing or talking to him.
She is pissed off cause you're trying to control her but she still respects your wishes and doesn't see him, what's the problem?

It sounds like you have trust issues OP and it sounds like you're becoming controlling although it's not the worst case of controlling behaviour by a long shot.
She is your ex and she is free to do what she likes really, if your buddy wants to fuck her and shes game then they can go right ahead and you shouldn't say anything. If you feel strongly about it don't see your old buddy anymore.

Perhaps if you own the house or wherever you live you might have some bargaining power and you could explain it makes you uncomfortable but it's still not a great thing to do although it is understandable cause nobody is perfect.


Considering dating an ex again by Charles Cremmleville - Tue, 02 May 2017 10:48:54 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.515936 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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We dated when I was 20 and she was 19. We were friends for years before this and this fucked it all up. We cheated on eachother and it was a very abusive relationship, physically and emotionally, from both sides.

A few weeks back i saw this girl at a party. I havent seen her in 4 years. I ended up taking her home. She told me she got raped a few months ago and has been getting blackout drunk every day.

I've tried to help her since. She still drinks because she claims she'll have withdrawals but she seems much happier than when I first saw her and to be drinking less and taking care of herself way more. I'm beginning to fall for this girl again and i've never felt this way about anyone before. I want to get with this girl and I could see us having a family in a few years once she gets her shit together and I do too a little more. We've had sex a few times recently but I'm cautious about it because its very hard for her to since getting raped.

Last night she came over and we tripped on acid. She told me that she doesnt care what kind of clothes I wear or what kind of car I drive and that she just likes me for who I am. We fell asleep next to eachother in my bed and I told her I loved her as I was falling asleep. She said "I love you too" which I didnt expect.

I want to see this grow with this girl. Our parents and almost none of our friends would not approve if we dated. It would be hard but I think we could make it work. I dont know if shes ready for it but I feel like I should make a move soon, we've been seeing eachother at least once a week for the past 5 weeks or so, and usually hanging out every weekend. She says she doesnt like partying so much anymore and wants to just chill and play video games and shit like that with me.

I really want to make this work, I dont want to ask her out next weekend because its my birthday and I dont want to get rejected on my birthday. I overthink shit, like I saw she logged onto facebook and didnt read my message.

I hate this, I wish I didnt have a past with this girl. I want to help her and see her get treatment because she has some mental issues, and I want to grow old with her. She was one of my first lovers and befo…
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Ernest Clellyson - Tue, 02 May 2017 11:30:53 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.515937 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Don't.

For one the relationship ended for a reason.

For two she has problems.

For three they aren't your problems.

For four, don't be Captain Saveabitch.
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James Sammleridge - Tue, 02 May 2017 11:46:43 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.515938 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515936
OP i got seriously concerned you were trying to date my ex for a moment, she too had similar problems and i've got to say to date her would become a massive mistake.

You don't need that no matter how desperate you are there will be someone else.
However if you're anything like me no matter how many posts here or friends irl tell you its a bad idea you will probably do it anyway.

I find girls like this need someone to help handle all their shit and become very attached to people they need, don't you think it's a bit strange she would say i love you?

Don't do it OP


Accused of rape by Angus Clendlespear - Sun, 30 Apr 2017 03:06:34 EST ID:bpG5EuOk No.515887 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So some crazy bitch is going around telling people - my friends - that I raped my ex girlfriend. She has potentially told countless people but I don't know.

It's really fucked. None of my ex's live in my city. This girl is generally a bit fucking weird, and one time she tried flirting with me very openly in front of my girlfriend. Naturally this enraged my girlfriend and since then we have given her very cold shoulders.

So I don't know what her problem is, I really don't. I've only known this girl for a year so there's no fucking way she knows any of my ex's. The only thing I can think of is when I was coming down off lots of drugs at a party, and I was in bed with a friend of mine. We started kissing, and for some reason (very unsober state of mind) I thought it was going in a certain direction so I opened her pants and tried to finger her, but she pulled away. She got up, I said I'm really really sorry, I mis-read the situation. It was awkward and she left but over time (and after me saying sorry a million times) we got over it. I'm not really friends with this girl anymore, I think there was too much history between us. She really really liked me and I really liked her, I dunno. We've never talked much since but she clearly doesn't wanna know me anymore.

So I don't know what the fuck. If it was her who even said that, if anyone even said that or is she just making shit up. I don't know what to fucking think. Help?
9 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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David Clupperfan - Mon, 01 May 2017 06:13:40 EST ID:Tnbm+s16 No.515911 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Thanks everyone. Yeah, I feel better now. I was extremely hungover yesterday so dealing with that really fucked with my head. I know it is total BS anyways, 100%. No one has actually accused me of rape and this woman is just making shit up because she's jealous, she's fucked up. She knows me and my girlfriend hate her because of what she did. I happened to become really good friends with her (former) friends the past year and they've started hanging out with me a lot more at the expense of her, since they've realised she is a fucked up manipulative bitch.

According to my girlfriend's friend, who knew her for years, it is far from the first time she has tried to destroy couples, far from the first time she flirted with boyfriends right in front of their girlfriends. There is a whole list of other shit she's done that just beggars belief as to why people were ever friends with her. She's just fucked in the head.

Anyone who knows me will that it is total bullshit and that the woman in question is unsurprisingly making up crazy stories to suit her fucked up manipulative agenda. My girlfriend said if she runs into her in town she is going to kick the shit out of her, so fingers crossed they run into each other. Unfortunately she's moving away in 2 weeks - perhaps she wanted to destroy my reputation before she left, as a fuck you? (despite the fact I have done nothing to her) - so time is running out. But seriously I don't remember the last time I have felt genuine hate this strong towards someone I know. What a fucked up accusation to make. I mean it doesn't really get any worse than rape or murder does it? To be accused of that, to think, even momentarily, that people might have actually believed her or at least questioned it is fucked. Thankfully, as I say, anyone who knows me knows it is bullshit and all this has achieved is a further tarnishing of her already fucked reputation.

I'm still outraged, I want her to get curbstomped so fucking bad. Please let my gf run into her please please PLEASE! Thanks fellas... this shit is not a joke, fucking hell.
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David Clupperfan - Mon, 01 May 2017 07:12:31 EST ID:Tnbm+s16 No.515912 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Ahhh... I just spoke to a good friend of mine, telling her about this, and she said she had heard about this from someone I don't know. I've known this woman very well for years, so she of course had my back and put that person in her place. This was before I knew of it, and before she knew that it was psycho bitch saying it.

So I don't know how many people have heard about this. But it's fucked thinking that there are people out there who believe, even if I don't know them. I know no one I know will ever believe it, but in a few month's time I'm probably gonna meet someone, we'll get along well, then I'll tell them my name and they'll probably immediately stop being friends with me 'cos they heard about this. Or something. I don't know.

How can I get revenge guys? My girlfriend, who works in a pub, told her workmates that she shat all over the toilets and that she's banned from entering, and of course if she sees her she will physically destroy her... but that's an if. How else? I am a humble, peace-loving guy that never gets into dramatic confrontation, physical or otherwise. So for me to actually feel hate, to actually want to inflict physical pain on someone, it's unusual... But boy do I feel it. I'm shaking just typing this. I have an exam in 3 days and I cannot fucking study. FUCK.

Why are some people so evil? I have done nothing to deserve this, nothing.
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Lydia Gasslenane - Mon, 01 May 2017 10:54:51 EST ID:7yoR0oj3 No.515915 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515912
People who are dicks to others frequently get away with it. Except they don't exactly. Every time someone does shit like this they drive away innocent and decent people like you and your friends and if they do it repeatedly even the people who buy their shit start to get suspicious and distance themselves. People's appetite for drama diminishes as they get older. If this shit keeps happening to you either you're not avoiding fuckwits like her or you're unlucky.

It may be far worse for you but it does poison her life and she's doing it again and again. In time she will end up surrounded by people who are almost as bad as her as no one else will countenance her.

You'll also be surprised how many people who've seen her do this repeatedly actually quietly doubt it and won't write you off entirely. They'll be a bit guarded but as you prove yourself rapidly mellow out. Especially when she only has an anonymous ghost victim.

The damage to your life won't be that awful, honestly, people move around and if people don't know who you are they'll forget in time. If they're that distant they may assume it's a different David Clupperfan who did it, especially if you're cool. We have all been fucked over by nasty people at some point in our lives. It's hard to let go entirely but the important thing is you remember that they're poisoning their own lives and slowly driving away anyone who doesn't love drama and toxic bullshit. Over time what she did to you will fade away while the damage done to her builds up as she finds more victims. Don't contact her, don't attack her, don't feed her. Cut her our, insulate yourself. Move on.
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Charlotte Bellerchure - Tue, 02 May 2017 02:59:48 EST ID:zPu+Cn1i No.515923 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515912
>Why are some people so evil? I have done nothing to deserve this, nothing.
We live in a universe that is indifferent to your suffering and so are some of the people it creates.

Also if you really want to live a peaceful life, try to convert your feelings of curb-stomping others and etc, despite how wrongly people may behave/treat you. You're probably a nice guy and I ask a lot of people but jus' sayin'
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Charles Crottingwune - Tue, 02 May 2017 05:15:52 EST ID:34xwTbAU No.515927 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515915
Thanks man, this post helped a lot!

>>515923
Yeah you are right, but hey, it's kind of understandable considering what a fucking extreme accusation it is to make. I'm starting to get over it now anyway. lol I think some of my friends have been a bit shocked to hear some of the crazy things I've said about her, they're not used to me being angry or wanting violence haha.

Goddamn, what a crazy way to end my birthday (I was informed of this at the end of my birthday party by a good friend whom she had told). It's still hard to comprehend that someone is so evil. She has destroyed so many couples, she tried to destroy mine, and her response when that fails is to accuse me of rape. I mean wtf? Sorry, but yeah, it's still hard to process that someone is capable of doing this to a guy who she doesn't even know that well, to a guy that has done nothing to her. But then again ISIS and Nazis exist so yeah.


13000 reasons why by Hannah Cacklehud - Fri, 28 Apr 2017 21:20:17 EST ID:V7v5xwz2 No.515876 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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My life is just a complete shitshow, so I am going to type out everything on here, just to know that somebody else knows and maybe cares.

-Chemically castrated since the age of 17 as a rare side effect of SSRIs. Seemingly permanent, no cure, no interest in finding one from the bastards that got me on these things

-Obviously due mostly to the above - virgin, never had a girlfriend at nearly 22, not a clue how to talk to girls

-Psychotic disorder (diagnoses vary) which has led to me spending literally years on lockdown in psych wards. Tried to strangle my brother a few years ago, set fires, been roughed up by police as a result of this

-Asperger syndrome, while I've gotten much better at talking to people and making friends than I used to be it still fundamentally hinders me. I have no fixed personality or identity apart from the most core things and I'm extremely credulous, which means people often take advantage of me and I get into dangerous situations, lose money, and no one respects me

-Isolation makes me emotionally needy to the point where it repulses people enough to cut off long-term, close friendships with me over a couple of weeks

-Despite being a huge pussy beta when it comes to social interaction, absolutely reckless with everything else including money, safety and health. Used lots of drugs, blown all my money on them multiple times, went on my own to smoke crack with a psycho jailbird I knew and his dealer/friend and two others, all violent career criminal types which I'm not at all, spent tons on crack and also got basically extorted out of about $70 but it could have gone much worse

-Physically small, not that important but it's not nice as a man
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Nigel Buzzwell - Sat, 29 Apr 2017 03:03:12 EST ID:buDodtmC No.515879 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Incredibly childish in some ways, literally still get scared of monsters under the bed or in my closet after reading something scary at night and have to turn the lights on and call someone. No generalised social anxiety but completely unable to tell a girl I want to go on a date with her to the point of saying the exact opposite (mainly the sexual dysfunction but still)
heh my best friend does that. they do have generalized anxiety and social anxiety though (actually i do too).

try befriending some fellow fucked up sperglords. that way you can take turns calling eachother in the middle of the night freaking out about hearing noises outside. it helps a lot in accepting your problems to go through hard times with others.

> I don't even have any fond memories because I was a mute shut-in up to the age of 18.
you dont have any yet that is. you still have plenty of time to make them.
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George Semmlespear - Sat, 29 Apr 2017 09:25:31 EST ID:tuYIGJeT No.515881 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515878
The bible sucks, read Oahspe, or just anything. You need a new hobby that isn't drug/booze related. They're only going to make things worse & are obviously hurting your physical health.
I think you can probably teach yourself to enjoy reading again. I also think you need to find a good psychologist. This isn't an easy task & you usually have to go through a few to find one that fits but when you do, it is actually really helpful.
If your sexual problems are permanent or very long term, you might just have to consider living your life in a way that doesn't revolve around sexual desire. I don't know how difficult this is for other people but I don't have a problem with it, & when I see others torturing themselves over unfulfilled sexual expectations I feel bad for them since it's something I don't have to experience.
If you wanna talk to girls, just talk to them like you would anybody. If you wanna have a romantic relationship with a girl... I wouldn't recommend it right now as you're kind of a mess and relationships rarely make that easier. But just keep in mind that not all girls even like sex. I promise that's true. If you tried I'm fairly sure you could find a romantic partner who doesn't care if you have sex or not.
>isolated & needy, don't fit in, estranged from family, no work history, wild paranoia
Same. I went back to school doing something I find fairly easy & it helps me a lot to have some structure in my life. It's hard to make myself do things and have self control but I'm trying anyway bc like you I'm too apathetic to kill myself & sitting there doing nothing got old after 8 or so years. I want things to get better and not worse, I don't have a lot of help but I just live each day doing what I can.
We both have the potential to create a better reality for ourselves. Let's do our best..!
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Albert Bludgebanks - Sun, 30 Apr 2017 10:55:54 EST ID:V7v5xwz2 No.515900 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515881
>you might just have to consider living your life in a way that doesn't revolve around sexual desire. I don't know how difficult this is for other people

It's extremely difficult for me. It makes interacting with girls the most painful thing in the world. It would be one thing if it was natural but the fact I was sexually healthy in every way and it was suddenly ripped away from me at 17, I cannot move past it. If I can't fix that in the next couple of years, I am 100% going to commit suicide.
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Nicholas Sucklewudge - Mon, 01 May 2017 01:55:29 EST ID:li6zXmK8 No.515910 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515876
>-Chemically castrated since the age of 17 as a rare side effect of SSRIs.
Holy fucking shit! I'm guessing that didn't actually make you feminine, but instead trollish? Which ones were you on, I don't suppose you have any idea which one of them did the damage?
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Angus Crugglefit - Mon, 01 May 2017 08:51:18 EST ID:KUmg7kIA No.515913 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515881
>read Oahspe,

Man, what a poser.


your daily schizo nonsense by Sidney Bunnerwater - Sun, 30 Apr 2017 09:55:52 EST ID:HEByDn6I No.515898 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I have schizophrenia so it might be Im just babbling nonsense but I have a feeling my mum abused me sexually. Shortly before I got schizophrenic and before episodes I thought about my mum/family abusing me mentally and sexually. Usually I have a very good memory and most speculations I had in the past seemed to be true.

I think I remember her coming to my rum and manipulating my dick and making me unable to scream with her hand and fingering me (Im a guy).

How do I know its true? Do I really want to if its true?
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Martha Sizzleford - Sun, 30 Apr 2017 10:29:15 EST ID:rRMr7xq2 No.515899 Ignore Report Quick Reply
No, you don't want it to effect you. Just don't talk to your mum. There's a chance that this assumption is just a metaphor for something else, and it could be anything. Just don't talk to your mum for a while, assuming like this could be regret able someday, for you.
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Jenny Billingdale - Sun, 30 Apr 2017 12:27:53 EST ID:WE9U+Jii No.515901 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515899
Ugh, excuse me? I dont really get what youre saying. Wouldnt it be better if I talked to her about it? Anyway I cant, even if I wanted. Shes dead, suicide.

>metaphor for something
Sure? I was always convinced that delusions have nothing to do with actual observations in reality, but thats just my impression.
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Martha Sizzleford - Sun, 30 Apr 2017 12:38:34 EST ID:rRMr7xq2 No.515902 Ignore Report Quick Reply
It could be a metaphor for you jerking yourself off, and hiding it from your mother, like when you were a teenager.
Is your father still alive? Maybe he would know, or ask someone close to your mother.if you want to talk to your family, then this probably isn't true, and it's just a metaphor.
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James Sammleridge - Tue, 02 May 2017 12:02:20 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.515940 Ignore Report Quick Reply
> coming to my rum and manipulating my dick

Haha wot


Advice on a working mans drug by Not enough time - Thu, 27 Apr 2017 14:04:19 EST ID:ckgmRpNJ No.515842 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Currently I have left highschool and am working up to 5 days a week doing night shifts till 3am then wakeing up for my carpentry course and bus's at 5am so busy the time I get home I have an hours sleep max 2 if I end work earlier so I need advice on any drugs that can help me through sleep deprivation I can't quit my job because I am the only one in my household with steady income and I want to do the course to better my life so any advice is appreciated v.v
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Oliver Sebbleway - Thu, 27 Apr 2017 15:16:17 EST ID:M+WnTWTA No.515851 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515847
Also
> hour walk home
Get a bike
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Not enough time - Thu, 27 Apr 2017 15:49:24 EST ID:iHha+tjY No.515852 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515851
I am currently saveing for a bike at the moment and I am in able to cut hours from my course or my job as my course has set hours and my workplace is under staffed and I need this job to pay for rent and food ect
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Ernest Sackleham - Fri, 28 Apr 2017 02:57:43 EST ID:n88v0slF No.515860 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You will have to drop the carpentry course until you find a better job...
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Reuben Wabberman - Sun, 30 Apr 2017 03:46:10 EST ID:buDodtmC No.515889 Ignore Report Quick Reply
definitely talk to your instructor because that's probably the most insane schedule ive heard of.

try modafinil or adrafinil or armodafinil or CRL-40,941.
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Shit Pinkinstone - Sun, 30 Apr 2017 04:54:15 EST ID:FwheuJ8x No.515893 Ignore Report Quick Reply
In this case drugs will just burn you out quicker. It's also gonna be hard to save for that bike (or anything) when you're spending money on them. Aside from maybe a little something to relax on the weekend (if you can keep it to that) it'd probably be asking for trouble.

Getting such low amounts of sleep on a regular basis really takes a lot out of you in the long run.


always thirsty by trevparty - Fri, 28 Apr 2017 02:06:51 EST ID:Lghhiagl No.515858 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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How am I supposed to maintain my great air of dignity around my girl when she, and only she, knows how much I, in at least one way resemble a chained dog.
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Martha Neckleshit - Fri, 28 Apr 2017 04:20:34 EST ID:zPu+Cn1i No.515862 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515858
Is that because you wanna fuck other girls?
How old are you? Is a monogamous relationship the right idea now? We find ourselves in that situation without conscious thought, but instead cultural conditioning.

Maybe you can find a vent for your sexuality? Some part physical exhaustion, and maybe renovate your sex-life?
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trevparty - Sun, 30 Apr 2017 00:24:56 EST ID:Lghhiagl No.515886 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515862
Huh? No, I'm a one girl man -- It's not a problem either, I just mention it because women seem to hold the keys, and it's annoying that they always know what you want.


It's in the Past, bro, it's in the Past, LMFAO by Eugene Fingerpodge - Fri, 28 Apr 2017 09:32:54 EST ID:PYzoENVk No.515865 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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When you confront a person for a shitty thing they did, and you didn't have the awareness or the confidence to confront them about it, then you do years later and they go all "dude, it's all in the past, let it go, lol!" is that them just avoiding confrontation or am I somehow in the wrong?

I've been burned by tons of people in my life, either bullies or people I thought were friends, and when I turned 18 years old several years ago, I suddenly gained self-awareness, and got really angry at those people and myself for not doing anything about it. So, systematically, over a few years since I graduated high school, I've found a lot of people through social media, send them a message giving them a piece of my mind for how shitty they were, and they respond with various results.

>Ignore me
>Give themselves convenient amnesia and tell me they have no idea what I'm talking about
>Cave in and apologize
>Humble down and admit they were wrong
>The whole "it's in the past, bro, it's in the past!

Some of them give me peaceful closure knowing that they apologized or regretted what they did, other give me a small satisfaction knowing that they are still shitty people who acted cowardly when given the hard truth.

People outsides of these situations tell me to let things go and that I take shit too personally, but I feel like it's wrong that I should make myself the bad guy and allow the real shitheads to not get any kind of comeuppance (despite how minor).

Whenever I confide in friends or family about shitty things that happened to me as a kid, at a job or anywhere from six months to years ago, people tell me that I need to "let go" or "not take things personally." It's fucked up, and it makes me feel like I'm some kind of bad guy just because I'm angry about something.
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Polly Sonnerwuck - Fri, 28 Apr 2017 15:03:17 EST ID:I19uay1O No.515873 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515870
People online especially the chans aren't gonna react as you would want them to. You are divulging in matters of the heart in which you were hurt. This equates to being a "depressed beta nerd" who can't let anything go. l
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Blackie-Chan - Fri, 28 Apr 2017 15:05:38 EST ID:YSgLqHnY No.515874 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>515865
I forgive, but I don't forget.
I'm nice to people not only because its the right thing to do, but because if I'm a prick for shitty reasons, they might remember it and hold it against me. Alternatively, I can be nice to someone and they think I'm a prick regardless, but I've learned to recognize those people and avoid them whenever possible.
I recently confronted my dad about some shit my stepmom said to me years ago and he said he doesn't even remember it happening. Its not even like it was wildly insignificant either; it was on his birthday and involved his wife and son. I honestly think he was bullshitting me since, when confronting him, I laid out his possible responses and told him why they were all shitty and he decided to feign ignorance (a response I didn't lay out because, "who would feign ignorance to avoid conflict via TEXT MESSAGE?").
Part of me feels like holding it against him but since my dad and stepmom both have moved past it and stopped treating me like shit, I kinda believe that they don't remember it...they're both pushing 60, something that happened 5 years ago might as well have happened 10. Either way, I can move past it, but I consider it "a permanent stain on their record of moral/ethical behavior".
If its affecting you more than necessary (which is pretty much "not at all") I would try to make peace with it and move on with your life, if not for their sake, for yours. Holding grudges and whatnot takes a toll on your mental health, and besides....you have other things to worry about now.
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Frederick Crenningnuck - Fri, 28 Apr 2017 16:24:04 EST ID:rRMr7xq2 No.515875 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You're angry because you wouldn't do the same thing. Everyone is as good or bad as their actions. You can take satisfaction in that.
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Oliver Sablingstock - Sat, 29 Apr 2017 01:53:13 EST ID:jBrsMkU0 No.515877 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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We all get angry about shit like this OP, or at least I certainly do, but I think "just let go" is pretty solid advice. It might not be satisfying or validating, but what other options do you have? Of course actually letting go is very difficult, but I think it's a better choice than dwelling on it and agonizing even more over the same event.
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Nigel Buzzwell - Sat, 29 Apr 2017 03:08:04 EST ID:buDodtmC No.515880 Ignore Report Quick Reply
the only thing worse than thinking about shitty things other people have done to you is thinking about shitty things youve done to other people. and telling them about their problems and harping on it is about the least helpful thing you could do.

getting caught up in the past has literally zero logical benefits. the past is meant to be something to learn from.


Garbage tier relationship skills by Isabella Goodstone - Wed, 26 Apr 2017 21:52:33 EST ID:9NtHW6ws No.515824 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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27 male here. Never had a relationship go longer than about 4 months. Very rarely anything close to what can be called 'healthy'. I have a ton of insecurities, despite being decent looking enough to have people interested in me and keep them around for 1-3 months before i fuck it up by weirding them out. Almost every time I start seeing a girl i end up obsessing over her past. Usually about the size of her previous partners and how i size up. And other features, attractiveness, etc. I think its just this weird unhealthy obsession with dick size and sex that comes from watching way too much porn growing up. Im an average size and slightly above average circumference so I really shouldnt even be worried but this still happens everytime.

This doesnt have much to do with me currently but my parents were super dysfunctional growing up, didnt care for each other, said mean shit about each other, fought and bickered constantly. So i have no semblance of what a healthy relationship looks like. And i know this is no excuse for my behavior especially now that im closing in on 30, but i know it has a big impact on who i am. the girl ive been seeing left tonight mid hanging out because i was asking about her past again tonight. and i come to the realization i have some kind of a problem.

Anyone else think like this or am I just completely fucked in the head and on the course towards forever a spider monkey's butt? I feel like I may need to come to terms with the fact that I am kind of a shitty person. Its shitty of me to berate someone about their past, right? When I should be focusing on the present moment and trying to enjoy it. Why can I just not think of this at the time? Am I just taking people for granted? Is there a book I can read on being better at relationships and all this shit or something?? Am I fucked up for obsessing about penis size? i think i just dont appreciate people, or respect them. idk
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Isabella Goodstone - Wed, 26 Apr 2017 22:00:01 EST ID:9NtHW6ws No.515825 Ignore Report Quick Reply
fucking spider monkey butt is not what i meant. I meant im worried i'm not going to meet someone i can be with.
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Graham Murdbury - Thu, 27 Apr 2017 00:50:40 EST ID:pCPQRsXK No.515829 Ignore Report Quick Reply
well berating in terms of asking about, and berating in terms of heavy handed judgement are two different things.

Perhaps she left because she was being cold, and that's something people do to be fashionable at the moment.

Remember your notion of happiness while simulatenously know that your parents and others experienced things like this in the world of companionship and didn't blame themsleves, but wrote it into the idea of what can be out there in the world of romance and love.

Hence how popular songs while usually about being estastic about finding love, detail they are the one or the difference in that broad catalogue of perhaps noxious worlds.
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Doris Surrychut - Thu, 27 Apr 2017 09:52:46 EST ID:rh+w5v63 No.515834 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515829


I would ask and then I think she felt judged and started to feel insecure about her body. She left because I was being weird asking about a bunch of her previous partners sizes and then I brought up again this threesome that she had that she didn't like to talk about. But she never says hey I don't want to talk about that don't bring it up. It's like she lets the conversation go to see how far I will go and then gets mad at me for talking about it.


She called me later in the night drunk to tell me she had never been with someone so insecure about their penis size and that if she wanted to she could get better sex with someone else. That really hurt but I'm not sure if she was saying that to hurt me or what. And she kept going on and on basically saying I needed to 'man up'. Which I probably do... idk. Things went pretty crazy pretty quickly so I think it's probably coming to a close soon but I know I still have a lot to work on.


I'm not sure what you're trying to say with the latter half of your post. My parents are both really dysfunctional people. I think it's good to desire to have a healthy relationship. Idk where I'm going w this. Maybe I just need a therapist
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Augustus Fuckingstone - Thu, 27 Apr 2017 18:59:49 EST ID:AurREd88 No.515854 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Why compare other partners to yourself? She's not with those partners, she's with you, she chose to be with you, you don't need to feel as though you're proving yourself

Stop comparing bro
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Oliver Hicklestetch - Thu, 27 Apr 2017 22:17:22 EST ID:l/XMc9BX No.515855 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515834
Neither one of you weren't being invasive to each other's respect and boundaries I suspect you went there in a mood to open up or share insecurities and she as a weary person in wounds mostly ethical hopes the other subject will control themselves. While you want to the other person to confirm or say so you can no and won't hurt.

But neither one of you kept it normal and despite being completely negative she treated you as an experience that was entirely superlative in its hyperbole.

I'll tell you this much you weren't really berating her if you were also bringing up you're insecurities you're mostly playing a paper to her rock. She was robably didn't want you to probe but you ended up probing yourself which seems like you are entirely being honest but perhaps different from what she would expect which is honest dating.

Bad would be getting in a relationship with her not knowing then finding out then getting insecure trust me I did that. It isn't really as much that they have been with others and that intimidates you it's more like when you notice what they don't tell you and you are not sure how they feel about you and the disparity in how much you are sharing and they are prevents and earnest notion of a harmony between trust, timing, empathy, and intimacy.


I think I'm broken by Oliver Sullerstane - Tue, 25 Apr 2017 14:06:13 EST ID:kS27PxfH No.515780 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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After a string of past relationships that went bad, I identified the common factor, me.
I've been set up on a few dates and tried going on various dating sites but I just can't find it in me to feel any hope about the prospect of building a relationship with someone. They're increasingly an alien species, there's no common ground. I'm rapidly approaching my thirties and the dating pool is dwindling with it but even the few girls who do seem to like me, some of them really lovely people, I just push away. I'm lonely but it seems impossible that this will ever change.
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Ebenezer Drushkure - Tue, 25 Apr 2017 17:06:58 EST ID:6kAPrX3q No.515790 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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im like you but 21. trying to work on myself before looking for a S/O is what ive decided to focus on.
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Charlotte Sussleson - Thu, 27 Apr 2017 17:49:10 EST ID:USUZpST+ No.515853 Ignore Report Quick Reply
ok thanks for the support. I'll just carry on. I have the cat at least.


Not even sure if this is a bad thing by Cedric Billinghall - Mon, 24 Apr 2017 18:32:45 EST ID:iXl3cRAo No.515743 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I am a competitive powerlifter and trainer that works as a physical therapist on the side.

My main focus is training and competing in powerlifting.

The butt of the joke is, I have body dysmorphia. People say Im strong. People say Im big and lean. I can't actualize any results. I feel nothing.
I win a competition and lock out a 600 lb deadlift. There is someone still stronger than me out there. Even if it was the heaviest deadlift in the world I would still fear someone encroaching on me and that I will be beat.

Pros
>I push myself harder
>I never stop working

Cons
>Low self-esteem
>vulnurability
>every accomplishment doesn't make me satisfied. ever.
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Eugene Mizzlehire - Wed, 26 Apr 2017 13:12:25 EST ID:lzwSTMPh No.515816 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515743
I can't help but wonder if you want to be the best because you need to feel unassailable. That if you can be beaten others will put you down. Or maybe that you just don't see the inherent value we all have. People are rebelling about the whole "everyone is special" thing but the point is everyone is special because they are a chunk of meat with feelings not because they're all going to succeed in everything they do.

Our place in the world is not to have unique features but be a unique combination of common to uncommon features at best.

A question for you OP, how do others treat you? Are you accepted? do you have a lot of friends? A worthwhile relationship with someone of the same/opposite sex who is a good person? Or do these things general find themselves absent in your life?
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Wesley Clazzlewetch - Thu, 27 Apr 2017 12:24:36 EST ID:iXl3cRAo No.515837 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515816
My goal is to become the strongest version of me, and win.

This is partly because I train people for a living - so my career's reputation is apart of my performance in a way, and both are inherent to my identity.

From a career standpoint, I am fair, and charge a fair price (I teach people to lift solo in 3 months and then only charge them 95/mo for routine, diet, and they can lift 4x/month in my gym)

I also lift and excel past 99% of the industry because most of them are hacks

but I have also won a competition before

I did the best in my age/weight at a competition, got first and had the medal on my neck

It was the best high I ever had
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Wesley Clazzlewetch - Thu, 27 Apr 2017 12:29:37 EST ID:iXl3cRAo No.515838 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515816
> how do others treat you?
I am an orphan and never made many friends.
Peers in my field are two types
  1. they know what they are doing, have an education and experience and respect me.
  2. They are hacks and people who make up random exercises and charge people ludicrous prices for it and talk shit on me. Unfortionately this is 99% of the community.

>Are you accepted? By the educated and competent.
>do you have a lot of friends?
No, I have a handful of really good friends.

>A worthwhile relationship with someone of the same/opposite sex who is a good person?
I am married

>Or do these things general find themselves absent in your life?
I've learned that to be the best and use the best methods, you will go against the status quo. To put it shortly, the industry is mostly people who claim "functional training" and "muscle confusion" which is basically bullshit ways to justify never using structured programming, technique, or do anything challenging beyond burpees. I rent gym space in a gym full of people who couldn't tell a low bar squat from a front squat let alone teach someone how to do it. So I walk in being 10 years younger than the average bloke in there, lift more than they ever will and have females repping what the male clients lift. I keep to myself but they definitely try and make my life worse. Im trying to find another environment
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Cyril Drenkinbut - Thu, 27 Apr 2017 13:04:41 EST ID:4khQC8MC No.515839 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515838
Well, I wondered if it was past or current baggage but it does sound like your current life is not worsening your problems. I mean it's good. A shitty gym atmosphere is probably the worst. I'm not a fitness person by trade and I'm probably pretty awful but no one is there putting anyone else down. I wish certain people could be a bit more careful dropping the weights sometimes. When you can feel the floor shaking under you, that's unnerving. But such an environment probably isn't super well equipped.

It does sound like you're confident and full of yourself. Again like the questions before not a put down unto itself. So maybe it really is just the unconditional love you're missing.

All that said you could be a lot worse and a lot of people would envy you. I frequently tell people that suffering and problems are relative here and you are a some sort of super concentrated example where your life is pretty good but you consider it a problem. But then that is your problem as you know.

I don't think I can say anything useful to you really. It was worth taking a guess and letting you disprove it though I think.
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Wesley Clazzlewetch - Thu, 27 Apr 2017 13:07:23 EST ID:iXl3cRAo No.515841 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515839
I know I am good and trying my hardest, which is the most of my ability that can demand.

I can know objectively that I have a class I (third tier) total, which puts me in the 40th percentile.

I want to be in the top 10th percentile at least though.


Oh boy do I like Killing Nazis by BJBlazkowicz - Wed, 26 Apr 2017 23:35:01 EST ID:zBv2A0kk No.515826 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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OK so, lately I've been Enjoying shooting games quite a bit lately, when do you stop playing?

I've never lost grip on reality before, but lately I've found myself a little trigger happy when it came to popping virtual nazis, it just gives a better feeling than mowing down endless Russians. ..is it because I found a fixated hate on nazis as a whole, evil creature versus just enjoying killing virtual people?

Am I just taking out stress on my Ps4? It's really weird how smoking a J and "becoming" this person in this game relieves me of my petty internal struggles just long enough for me to reboot.
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MegasXLR - Wed, 26 Apr 2017 23:39:14 EST ID:E0s4RZkZ No.515827 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>515826
Settle down there sonny Jim.

Go have a cup of water.

You are high af
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Doris Puttingbury - Thu, 27 Apr 2017 11:35:06 EST ID:1ZYzHvtl No.515836 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515826
Enjoy it. Because there will come a day when you can't even force yourself to place vidya anymore because it is all so benign and burnt out.

After ~8k hours of gaming in my life. I can't do it anymore.
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Cyril Drenkinbut - Thu, 27 Apr 2017 13:06:35 EST ID:4khQC8MC No.515840 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>515836
If you do too much of anything and not enough of other things anything will burn you out.


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