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Need to vent....so frustrating by Matilda Briffingwell - Tue, 25 Jul 2017 15:18:50 EST ID:JsQi4/8G No.517656 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Met an arab guy through instagram. He always comes to FL for vacation, so we knew we were gonna meet some time.

We snapchated every single day for 5 months. We never really talked over the phone that much only 2 times because of the time difference and our work schedule, but we would send eachother voicenotes, pictures, videos and so on, of our every day.

He finally took time off work and was able to come to FL. He said “I like you so much I’m flying almost across the world for you, I’ve never done this” I was very excited.

We met, and everything went well. We went out for dinner and drinks to this really fancy restaurant, where I learned that he has a ton of money. He seemed to be in a rush when we were waiting for our table, he even tried to pretend that he was notified that the table was ready to the hostess.

Finally, we ate and as soon as the waitress removed our plates, he asked for the check. The entire night seemed we were having a 1way conv. All I could hear was him talking about himself, not really wanting to get o know me. I’m a shy person, so it’s sometimes nice to have someone that takes you out of that, and makes conv.

Went back to his place, and he was really trying to have sex, but we didn’t. The next day, we saw each other again and I got pretty drunk, huge mistake! The following day, he didn’t even text me. I knew something was wrong, I told him if you don’t want to talk to me anymore just tell me, and he responded very casual without really answering.

I got to see him again after 3 days, I felt bad about it because I knew he was only here for a week. When I saw him, I apologized and he said “everything is ok, we all make mistakes, I came for you so I want to have a good time with you, we are going to enjoy this weekend”

Everything went amazing, I slept over and we finally had sex. He told me how amazing I am, that all his friends loved me, etc..” When I left, he became dry again, I tried to make plans with him over and over, but he always said he couldn’t. Then he said lets see each other tomorrow, I asked what time, no answer. No answer, until the next day at 8pm telling me he was leaving, that it was nice seeing me, that he had a great time; and he ended the message with “cheers”
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Martha Nicklecocke - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 20:10:28 EST ID:RFeevcYx No.517962 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517787
>Fuck you, if all you want is sex then hire a hooker and leave us alone

Same back at you? You are not entitled to the sexual experience, there is no reason why women should be allowed to try getting fucked and men shouldn't be allowed to try fucking women.

You got a bad experience, get over it. Men will constantly try to fuck you and ditch you. Be ready and don't go around giving away your pussy too soon
>>
James Tillingworth - Mon, 07 Aug 2017 08:04:03 EST ID:bwJOb6Ln No.517973 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517962
I never once had a bad experience actually, because I have always been really suspicious of being lied to and don't sleep with guys for the first few months. I have seen my friends have their lives ruined by assholes like the ones on this thread, getting them knocked up and disappearing. Why? Because they love conquest so much that it's no fun having an honest interaction with a prostitute.
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Charles Siblingdock - Tue, 08 Aug 2017 18:31:33 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.518001 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517973

>Because they love conquest so much that it's no fun having an honest interaction with a prostitute

Ahh, there you go! The crux of the "alpha" condition. I say alpha because I don't know of another singular word to describe it. The conquest is the trial and adventure that gives life and purpose to the conquistador, because achieving the goal is more important than establishing a relationship. Winning is the objective, not creating anything meaningful. And so people get shit on and the alpha doesn't care because he sees it as a game rather than people lives.

Though I don't see how people can let their lives get ruined from a person like that.
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Sophie Worthingdale - Tue, 08 Aug 2017 19:17:04 EST ID:D6Nw402O No.518003 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i like how OP just wrote the OP and fucked off yet this continued for 45 posts (and counting)
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Doris Sobblechedge - Thu, 10 Aug 2017 00:22:05 EST ID:ipp5TPlA No.518018 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Well this is an obvious troll thread. OP ends off saying she uploaded material, that when viewed in a less innocent and more perverse manner, led a guy, who she immediately begins to point a racial finger at, to believe he could convince her to fuck, and it worked. And then, she's like, wow, are statements blatantly handing me hostile attention hiding an intention of relationship disbelief?

It's obviously a dude trying to shill for IG, girls this dumb only fall for guys that lie to them. Or make them up.


embarrassing kink by Molly Cloblinghirk - Fri, 04 Aug 2017 21:51:50 EST ID:nKCUbl1h No.517898 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I feel like a bad person. I have a sort of fetish that baffles me. My boyfriend is sick right now and I get incredibly aroused when I cuddle with him. I don't like that he is sick. I don't want to be sick but it seems like something I won't catch. Anyways sick people aren't sexy. The vulnerability and tenderness just makes me melt. I hope the affection isn't awkward for him and that he enjoys it. I tried to sex him up in an ambien haze recently and he was into it too but the fumbling woke up our girlfriend and upset her. I'm worried I perverted something that was supposed to be sweet and innocent.
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Walter Bommleville - Tue, 08 Aug 2017 01:11:10 EST ID:gHOhu/Xd No.517995 Ignore Report Quick Reply
wow, that post is a real rollercoaster. Thanks op.
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George Haddletuck - Tue, 08 Aug 2017 02:58:36 EST ID:bKq8/GNy No.517996 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517994
It's not sexual revolution, it's people being repressed and having a very strict culture developing weird fetishes out of it. Japan is the same way and they had no sexual revolution, they're very conservative.
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Edwin Murdworth - Tue, 08 Aug 2017 03:58:41 EST ID:T7a0Mglx No.517997 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517996

and when did we have a 'very strict culture' ? the 1950s?
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Wesley Hiddlenet - Tue, 08 Aug 2017 08:24:18 EST ID:XS6JMhmD No.517998 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>517993
Rough sex best sex
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Hannah Brickleford - Tue, 08 Aug 2017 18:22:29 EST ID:RFeevcYx No.518000 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517997
uh, yes? The sexual liberation has come thanks to nothing else but contraceptives and abortion. In the past if you wanted to fuck 10 women you knew you were going to end up getting one of them pregnant and then everybody would expect you to support the child.

These days you pop a pill and have all the sex that you want without consequences. That's imo a very new thing, new i'm talking less than 50 years old. Just look at old shows from the 50s, it wasn't like Friends or Seinfeld where everybody was fucking everybody.


Mixed messages bullshit by Thomas Pittstock - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 18:59:30 EST ID:pUH3gQw7 No.517843 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1501714770370.jpg -(354624B / 346.31KB, 2000x1000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 354624
Hey dudes, help me out on this one, because idk wtf is going on anymore

>Social group of about 9 of us
>Girl X on the out skirts of the group, sometimes she hangs with us, but not every time we hang
>Kind of develop a crush on Girl X
>Go on a night out with the gang, make out with her all night, have a brilliant time with her
>Ask her casually if she'd like to go on a date
>She says yes. She is busy for the next 2 weeks, but after that she is free
>fuck yeah
>2 weeks go by, shoot her a text: "So we still on for this?" (paraphrasing)
>She replies "Please dont hate, im so sorry, I have gotten mixed up and made other plans for this weekend"
>I reply "ok, no problem. Do you still want to date next time you are free?"
>I get a big paragraph of a text back. She explains how she loves hanging out with me and she doesnt regret the night we kissed at all. But, she is worried if we date and it doesnt work out fully there might be bad feelings between us and then she wont be able to hang out with our social group anymore etc.

fuck
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Fuck Billingforth - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 09:15:23 EST ID:7QeGm5zu No.517942 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517896

Yes she does, she just isn't completely comfortable with the idea of fucking him either (probably cos OP came across needy and beta)
>>
Frederick Misslestene - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 19:01:33 EST ID:pUH3gQw7 No.517955 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517942

I had a nice night with a girl, I tried to fuck her on a night out but it didn't happen, so I casually asked if she'd like to see me again sometime.

If that's 'needy and beta' then tell me what the fuck I was supposed to do?

When our mutual friend group get together is intermittent. I didn't know how long it would be after the first time I made out with her, and I dont know when it will be after this second time. So on both occasions I casually asked if she'd come and see me for a drink.

If that's needy and beta, then idk how anyone does anything without being needy and beta
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Nathaniel Gogglechodging - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 19:47:53 EST ID:RFeevcYx No.517957 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517955
It sounds like you're more into her than she's into you. That's why she gets to ignore your messages while you have a panic attack and run to your online friends to tell you what to do.

Why don't you just try to forget talking about dates and commitments and next time just have fun with her like the first night you made out? Maybe she doesn't see you as a boyfriend material so don't bring too much into this relationship
>>
Emma Fanshaw - Mon, 07 Aug 2017 17:20:19 EST ID:vfShsVuP No.517990 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517936
this, stop chasing pusise, that she comes to you. If she remotely was interested you would of gotten laid already.That ship has sailed and move on.
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Samuel Surringdock - Mon, 07 Aug 2017 17:53:03 EST ID:PGt0SF4C No.517991 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>make a date in 2 weeks
>lol 2 weeks
>bails

shes riding the cock carousel and is putting you on the bench, you deserve more than that


Depression and Suicidal Thoughts by Angus Trotridge - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 10:40:09 EST ID:VY1LNZIV No.517866 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1501771209471.jpg -(99050B / 96.73KB, 471x628) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 99050
Pic unrelated, just a nice bow that I'd like to own someday

Hey qq

Just here because I'm told talking helps and I don't want to burden people I know with my bullshit. You guys however have the option to just keep scrolling if you don't care for it.

My whole life, I've been fighting depression. Sometimes it's okay, I can fight it by eating a healthy diet and working out, and killing it at work. Other times it's really bad and nothing helps. It's been pretty bad lately. This whole week has been a steady decline of insomnia, suicidal thoughts and maintaining the facade that I'm okay.

One thing that I think has been aggravating it has been the suicides of Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington. Not so much their deaths though, as much as their lives. I keep waiting for things to get better and they don't, they go away and they come back, worse. I tell myself, that once I've built the life that I want, things will be better. I'll live in the country in a village/commute, surrounded by friends, a beautiful wife and our beautiful children. I won't have to worry about rent or bills because we will all own and work the land as a collective and enjoy freedom.

I feel like this is a lie. Look at Chester. In one of his interviews, he talked about his condition and he described me word for word. He left behind a beautiful wife and 6 beautiful children. He was successful and made a good life for him. He changed people's lives for the better and made a fortune. Just so he could be found swinging from the ceiling at 45. I feel like in 2 decades, that's going to be me. That everything is just going to keep getting worse, no matter how hard I try to fight it or how well I do at fighting it.

The good times are great, but if the bad times just keep getting worse, I'm not sure if it's even worth it. Looking at people like me, it seems I'm doomed to an early grave. I'm not sure I'd hang myself though. I've always preferred the Idea of sticking one of my favourite firearms in my mouth. I want to live to be an old man and see my grandchildren. Die at a ripe old age fighting with a sword in my hand (blunt because the point of the ceremo…
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Fucking Bardway - Fri, 04 Aug 2017 12:59:44 EST ID:bwJOb6Ln No.517891 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>517866

Don't let that be you. A practical thing you could do would be to read some messages from the friends and families of people who died by suicide, a deep and 3D understanding of the agony you would cause will allow you to understand when you are very depressed that your only real responsibility at that moment is to stick around for them. If you need to spend a week in bed, fuck it, you have earned it (of course for mild and moderate depression, showering and exercising is more practical).

Then there is professional help, cognitive therapy, finding the right medication. Make sure the doctor knows you are suicidal, because anti-depressants can make that worse. Of course Chris Cornell was on them, and look what happened. Both of them had got all the help, people keep saying "it is important to get help". Well duh, no one acknowledges the fact there is no cure. When someone dies of leukaemia do people say "if you have leukaemia, get help." But anyway, there is no cure but there is a treatment. I want you to be an old man and see your grandchildren. If you are going to die that way, make sure it isn't after you did everything you absolutely could to kick the suicidal feeling's ass. Don't give up without a fight.
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Martha Nicklecocke - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 20:00:18 EST ID:RFeevcYx No.517960 Ignore Report Quick Reply
When I find myself depressed and not willing to live on I just do a lot of volunteering, and the thought that at least my time is being used helping other people kinda gives me an extra reason to stay alive.

Besides you get a lot of thank yous when you are a volunteer, so that also tends to brighten your day.


Im creepy by Sidney Brallergold - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 01:31:42 EST ID:HXgn8b9h No.517924 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I cant smile. Its been years since ive done it in public. My teeth are yellow, have small holes in the front ones, periodontitis which makes them look freakishly big, and my mouth get unaturally big when i do. When i smile only my lip goes wayy up over my receding, disease-ridden gums. To counter this, i try to pull my bottom lip down more but then it looks like im not even smiling, like im a snarling animal. My wisdom teeth are huge and very pointy. My eyes are either disturbingly, peircingly small or large like im staring. My nose is pointed, crooked. It just looks like a wild animal, a predator, snarling. Thats my fucking SMILE. Im that guy. Somebody that looks like a rapist in a horror movie when i smile. Somebody you see in a movie and think man, that dudes fuckin creepy. Thats my life. It isnt my fucking fault but im treated a certain way because i look a certain way. Children hide behind there parents when i smile. I made a thread about this a long time ago and people told me it was in my head. I listened to them and i regret it. At a wedding, for the first time in about a year, i smiled without hiding it. There was no denying people looked at me repulsed. I even took a picture like this and you can tell people are uncomfortable. Leaning away. With that look on their face. Even without teeth it looks like someone who wouldd be type cast as a psycho. People have told me im creepy. At least a couple times a week, a mom will see me and pull their kid close. When i had friends, theyre girlfreinds never wanted to be alone with me.
I cant describe how that feels. I see pictures of people smiling openly in pictures, eager to show off their teeth. I envy them. I cry. I cant be happy. Im a normal fucking person. When i was young, i was the funniest, happiest person i knew. Now that im a tall, threatening adult, its different. I literally feel like im a different species. People treat me differently. I just want to not look like this. It is not in my head. Im just one of those people.
Other than that one instance, Its been 6 years since ive smiled in front of anybody. I hide it, and give off an emotionless expression which cant be better. I dread laughing. I have to cover my smile, but i cant cover the way m…
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Rebecca Dartgold - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 08:22:59 EST ID:bwJOb6Ln No.517938 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517937
Not sure if this is the same one but here we go

"I went ahead and got them and I could smile and be happy and be myself.. I'd spent the majority of my twenties miserable"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVbPsFkX8e4

You look at the comments and the number of views and you realize how common this is. Think about what teeth are and how vulnerable they are and how much there is to go wrong and you see that there isn't anything odd about this.
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Augustus Wenkinlure - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 10:56:05 EST ID:TDH6qzPL No.517946 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>517924
OP what if you become a weeabo and wear those masks that they sell at all the cons now? If you feel that people think bad of you for your looks, get that mask and a Hentai SnapBack or something and maybe some sunglasses with sailor moon on them.

Hell I wear that stuff (not the mask) and nobody has ever projected hatred towards me even if they thought it. Just be a fuckin weeabo man they all kind of accept and hate each other at the same time.

Pic related, Hentai Dude is famous and there's a lot of other fairly popular weeb musicians/DJs there wearing those masks.
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Martin Billingstone - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 13:34:29 EST ID:XS6JMhmD No.517947 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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It's not the same but just to add to "it's not as uncommon as you think", I turn 23 this month and my teeth are fairly yellow. Like it's not bad but they're noticeably tinted. Years of coffee, tea, and cigarettes. What can you do? and i'm not even british

Anyway I'm not comparing our situations or whatever, just agreeing that teeth problems aren't all that rare.
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Angus Fudgedock - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 18:24:58 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.517954 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Get a job, save up some cash, get them fixed
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Thomas Buzzhood - Mon, 07 Aug 2017 15:17:23 EST ID:b46v6t5R No.517986 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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DICKS EVERYWHERE


Mental Illness Experiences by Shit Shakeman - Sat, 05 Aug 2017 23:48:55 EST ID:pmgTIpyg No.517922 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hi gang! I'm creating a mental health documentary for my major, and I whilst I myself have a combo of depression and anxiety, I was hoping to gain some other perspectives and experiences from others with similar disorders, whether it be the way you felt in certain situations or sporadically, how you handled them, if you're currently on medication for your disorder and how you deal with it/them. If you wouldn't mind posting what you're diagnosed with as well, that would be awesome!
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Shit Shakeman - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 08:26:14 EST ID:pmgTIpyg No.517939 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517934
Would you mind elaborating?
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Edwin Smallwell - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 08:41:21 EST ID:MhfKOifN No.517940 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517934
youre sick and unwell, you will not fix it with drugs though they will help you on your way.

Stop eating all gluten, nightshades, sugar, things high in histamine, things high in salicylates.

You should get tested for lyme disease and SIBO,
take probiotics
take vitamin d, b12, magnesium, potassium
mega dose vitamin c in an IV drip, this will cost about 200 dollars

get better,
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Albert Cluckleville - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 09:02:38 EST ID:C2LZTezo No.517941 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If your going to take anonymous testimonials from 420chan /QQ/ you might as well just lie and make up whatever ypu want to to say. Or are too lazy even for that? What class is this for? How to make a documentry with out leaving your room?
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Shit Shakeman - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 09:30:26 EST ID:pmgTIpyg No.517943 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517941
Your grammar is terrible, just quietly.
I actually already have raw footage interviews with some friends, but I wanted a variety of responses from anonymous strangers as well. Thought I'd seen a forum on here for mental health before (obviously wrong, but worth a shot). I'm additionally incorporating stop-motion and traditional animation to the project so there's a lot of effort being put into this, but thank you for your concern!
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Jarvis Wallyway - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 10:51:45 EST ID:ehhnNOgT No.517945 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP is a fag.


Is anyone here schizoid? What is it like? by Thomas Condlebanks - Sat, 05 Aug 2017 01:33:17 EST ID:PMkO/Z8a No.517901 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I live a more or less functional life with a career working in sales for a big corporation, and have no problem interacting with people in normal superficial social settings, but I have always had a weird feeling that I am 'missing pieces' that other people have, or that I'm like a two-dimensional person surrounded by three-dimensional people. I am in my late twenties and have never had a girlfriend or been on a date; all the times that I have had sex were with with one-off hookups or with escorts. I can't imagine having sex with someone and then having to spend a lot of time around them, hanging out with them, it seems weird and offputting to me. I feel like I can't keep the same group of friends for more than a couple years, it gets 'stale' or something and I need to have turnover. Even my own family I'm not that close with, this all feels natural though so I don't fight it. In general I feel like I have no real motivation to do anything in life, so I have to force myself to 'want' things and do things that other people would want/do in order to function as a member of society. Like I love getting drunk and high but I have to use my job responsibilities as an excuse to not get wasted all the time, so I don't degenerate into a complete piece of garbage.

I don't think that I am autistic or a sociopath, I generally get along with people well and am able to 'read' others and empathize with them. I'm a pretty objective and patient guy who never takes things personally, I tend to get along well with all different types of people, I find in particular that I can build a rapport with 'difficult' people that everyone else hates. I wonder if this is what ego death is like, I did a lot of psychedelics when I was younger but I was like this even before that.

Is anyone here schizoid? The descriptions that I have heard of schizoid people remind me a little bit of myself but in other ways they don't. I feel like my behavior seems normal to me because I take it for granted, but then when I think about what it would be like for other people that I know to be me for a day, it hits me how weird some of my behaviors/ways of thinking/outlook could s…
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Thomas Sallerpuck - Sat, 05 Aug 2017 13:40:25 EST ID:ehhnNOgT No.517912 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I have some schizoid tendencies but I think I classify more as an avoidant(with dependent, depressive and negativistic features) than a schizoid. I basically avoid interacting with others as much as possible. I don't have friends and I only briefly had a girlfriend for a short time in high school. It's an existence, same as any other. I still want friends and a social identity, just not badly enough to do all the work required to get them. Emotional closeness is something I crave but also something that terrifies me enough that I avoid it at all costs and as a result I am not close to anyone, including family. I feel like every day I grow a little less avoidant and a little more schizoid since the distinction between the two is basically how much someone wants that closeness with others. Schizoids are just fine with the emotional distance. I'm not exactly fine with it, but I am surrendering to it.
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Augustus Blythedale - Sat, 05 Aug 2017 21:11:26 EST ID:HOvIteMu No.517918 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517901
i feel similar to you but idk what it is
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Hedda Sibberletch - Sat, 05 Aug 2017 23:52:58 EST ID:Nopl3xmx No.517923 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517901
I capture schizoid like a textbook case But I'll never go to a doctor for a diagnosis. so I probably am or at least close to it.

I have 0 friends.
My family is distant.
I live alone.
I don't desire for much, as nothing really satisfies me.
I've never been in any romantic relationship and while the loneliness is definitely grating, I've "put myself out there" before and realized how absolutely insane any friendship or relationship in general feels that it really helped me understand myself and overcome some of my massive depression by realizing that the shit that "is" a relationship isn't something I can cope with for one, and don't want to cope with for another.
I burn bridges quickly and have some weird dichotomy of impulsiveness but also extremely planned and structured nature.
I've been able to hone my social skills enough to manipulate people but they've since degraded in my isolation and additionally, I have no personality really nor any reason to care about others so I can "get along" with assholes. In fact, I can interact better with dickheads than kind people because the kind people will try and seep into you and get close which is met with a stonewall response which drives them away.

In complete honesty, I lived for well over a decade in suicidal depression, feeling as though I was missing what everyone else had or was getting from life itself. I tried to become someone else for a while, got out and "found myself" so to speak and it really helped me. I realized I'll always be myself no matter how fake I act or how many lies I tell myself that I've changed or can change. I also realized that who I am as a person isn't compatible with people as a whole unless I am severely medicated to the point of zombification. I can fake my way far enough in life that I won't die in the streets babbling to myself in a language I've made entirely on my own so I'll make do. I also made peace with my endless thirst for something better and copious amounts of ambition which really took a huge chunk of the depression away.

Overall, I grew as a person over the course of 2-3 years after 20+ of misery. I'm still depressed and relatively miserable to most people but I've managed to claw my way to a somewhat tranquil comfort without the use of vices nor drugs. I'm not sure where you're at OP but making peace with your inner self instead of looking so far outward may help. I'm not into this psychic self-help book shit and I know it sounds like that but introspection turned me around and kept me from falling farther and farther into the abyss.
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Hedda Clunkinfield - Sun, 06 Aug 2017 03:49:21 EST ID:9oJevXv/ No.517927 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yes I am schizoid.
I don't really find it to be an issue though.
It's basically just like I don't care to socialize. I'm fairly good at it when I need to. I can maintain a few relationships, but I never go out of my way to form new ones unless a person really sticks out to me. I imagine some other people diagnosed have bigger issues with it, but it kinda comes with the territory that you're antisocial.
Sometimes I will get a girl's number at a party just to prove it to myself, and never call or text her because I just don't really care to. I just wanted to do it for my own ego. I didn't really care at all about making a connection with her.
The only issue is I think that I come off as an asshole to people that don't know me very well. I'm not good at all with some social niceties. Like sometimes I'll just walk right past someone without acknowledging their existence. They might think that it's because I'm trying to ignore them but really I just didn't even have the presence of mind to say hi or whatever.
And there are a lot of idiosyncracies, which I'm not gonna really go into, but I've just got some weird behaviors and thought patterns. But again, I'm pretty grateful to have my specific brand of schizoid. It would be 100x worse for me if I had aspergers or autism or something. My condition still allows me to do what I need to do for the bare minimum I need for my self esteem.
But yeah, I've always tried to find jobs where I can be solitary. Lots of night shits. I even tried to get into trucking but I have a condition that disqualified me.


I don't know why I feel this way. by Henry Blackdale - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 20:43:40 EST ID:pQ7DH+oR No.517833 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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My ex is moving overseas and I feel ripped to shreds. She was a toxic, abusive cunt. I still haven't quite fully recovered from the trauma of dating her, even after 5 years. Thankfully I don't see her much outside of academic settings or local shows/the occasional club night.

Still, I respect her as a colleague. She's brilliant as fuck. I enjoy working with her. I took her virginity in high school the first time we dated (we dated twice, once in high school and later in undergrad). The second time we dated ended up being my longest relationship. She is one of the most formative people in my life.

I don't get it, she was a such a bitch and I'm still angry at her for all she said and did, and we really only see each other 3-4 times a year now, but I feel like I've been torn in two. Why the fuck are humans the way we are?
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Charlotte Blathercocke - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 22:35:11 EST ID:pQ7DH+oR No.517882 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>517881
Oh dude it's so obvious she has it. Like the only symptom she doesn't show is self-harm. Even my friend who's legit *diagnosed* Borderline Personality Disorder who has met her is like "Oh yeah that bitch has it." They're dangerous because they're so fucking THRILLING. They can also be extremely charismatic, and she has charisma in spades. She's fucking dangerous.
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Hannah Cebberfoot - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 23:31:19 EST ID:p489bJ/X No.517883 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517881
I think my ex fwb may have it. I cried in front of her one time and she straight up had a smile on her face. I really can't tell! What are some sure fire ways you can tell? She did have some sexual abuse when she was younger.
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Charlotte Blathercocke - Fri, 04 Aug 2017 08:07:48 EST ID:pQ7DH+oR No.517884 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>517883
BPD has a biochemical basis but is often "unlocked" by a particularly traumatic event (parent leaving the child when young, drug addiction, sexual assault).... Not always, however. My ex experienced no major trauma in her life.

Did she constantly fly off the handle at the most unexpected moments? Accuse you of shit you didn't do? Freak out thinking you'd abandon her? Cut herself? Have black-and-white thinking ("splitting") about friendships and relationships? Cuz my ex did all of those things except cut herself: she's too vain to do that.
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Beatrice Donningted - Fri, 04 Aug 2017 10:37:53 EST ID:N4q9OQ01 No.517885 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I didn't know anime girls could be this dangerous.
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Martin Dodgedire - Fri, 04 Aug 2017 14:08:18 EST ID:u0BMBKrI No.517893 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517885
I've banged/dated a few crazies in the fandom. Shit's thrilling even though it always blows up in my face


Desire to hurt small animals, even through im a adult already by Hedda Sacklehall - Mon, 31 Jul 2017 02:42:55 EST ID:vPXIYoJk No.517805 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So, i guess everyone reads about how serial killers start with small animals as kids.
Thing is, i've started feeling this urge, to hurt some animals, strongly, and im a adult, a 22 years old.
Im not sociopathic, in fact, i used to be a vegetarian and had to stop for health reasons, and i plan to become one again someday, i specially love animals like dogs, horses and cows, the idea of hurting any of those, kinda frightens me.
But with some very specific animals, i feel this desire to hurt and kill then, i remember first feeling it as a kid with cats, and to this day, i've dealt with tons of animals, yet strangely, i've only noticed this desire with cats and recently, cockatiels.
Those were some cat puppies i found in my grandma's house, i remember caring about then and trying to give then warmt at first, as i would act with other animals, but i started feeling that one urge to hurt then, i didn't do anything about it, but at the time it felt really strange.
Second time i've felt this was like 2-3 years ago i think, i was still with my ex girlfriend, we dropped acid together, and there was this one baby cat at the house.
At first, i remember getting really cool with it, i was tripping really hard, so at the time, i've felt like me and this cat probably knew eachother from some past life, and we were meant to meet again.
Then my ex started freaking out in her solipsistic way, she started believing she was faking about me existing, and asked why she pretends we have anything between us, at the time it felt like being stabbed in the heart, so i just stood there in shock, she then got really sick and went to puke at the bathroom, while i stood motionless.
Her cousin, came, and while also tripping, she slapped me, because she thought i should be helping my girlfriend, unaware of anything. It was basically one of the worst experiences i had.
I tried to brush it off at the time, cause my ex and her cousin apologized, but that obviously made me enter some really dark places, i tried to put something to play in my cellphone, and remember the cellphone started showing dead bodies to me (in my head only), and i felt like everything turned into something demoniac, it was then when the desire to hurt that cat appeared, i didn't hurt him obviously, but at the time it felt so tempting, to realize he was so fragile, i could crush him with my hands, its hard to explain, but it felt like he deserved it, because he was asking to much from me, "how can this thing demands my attention and respect? I could kill him easily", and those megalomaniac feelings.
I didn't hurt him, but to this day that scared me.
Last desire, came with a girl im seeing, she has a cockatiel, and i started feeling the urge to kill that bird lately.
I don't really love her, being honest, i feel a huge prejudice towards her, because she is in that constant victim state, we fucked casually, but i never thought she was really attractive, she was always talking about how she never gets attached to anyone and doesn't want anything serious, but thing is, she got really attached to me.
Im a real coward at this point, pretending to love her, just cause im afraid of hurting her feelings, she tells me she loves me all the time, and is the kind of person that suffocates you, and then get sad if you don't give her the attention she wants at the level she wants, but she is someone who really let herself go, has ridiculous high standards, while not having either beauty, talent or intelligence, the kind of person who doesn't want any criticism, because she can't take anything without breaking down completely.
That said, i realized i started to feel angry with her, even through i get worried with her, she is in the end, someone who i would call a friend, but the situation where im at, scared to hurt her, but not sharing her feelings, leave me feeling angry and lost, i realized then, it started turning into a urge to hurt that bird.
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Walter Foshsteck - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 15:14:30 EST ID:np18dSbG No.517829 Ignore Report Quick Reply
break up with the girl, buy a small kitten and a cockatiel and kill them somewhere remote, you'll be happy afterwards
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Rebecca Bunlock - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 15:53:27 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.517831 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I think this desire is always connected to a sense of being frustrated and powerless. Power and control is what killing is all about for psychopaths, it makes them feel powerful and in control, they use violence as a coping mechanism for emotions they can't deal with. You're obviously feeling frustrated with your girl problems at the moment but you don't know what to do and the frustration is boiling up and you want to lash out. You need to get rid of the girl and the bird for the sake of everyone involved, including yourself.
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Nell Chobberhurk - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 01:51:27 EST ID:FZdBg+mx No.517860 Ignore Report Quick Reply
nigga what the fuck is a cat puppy?
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Basil Clucklepidging - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 10:46:12 EST ID:XS6JMhmD No.517867 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>517860
It's like a dog but it's also a cat
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Charles Blickleway - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 13:51:16 EST ID:jPpWgI0N No.517868 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>517805
OP your shit was TL;DR but I also have urges to hurt small animals. Sometimes a thought manifests itself to just...bite my cockatiels (I too have a cockatiel. Tiel crew yo.) head off...the thought makes me uncomfortable, and it's easy to say "That's not me." but it is me. And the sooner we all realize that the better. The dark parts of us are us. They aren't "intrusive". They are in their home. Us. Now control that impulse. I of course also love my pet and would be emotionally distraught if he were ever to die. And this is what separates us from animals. I can abate my chimp like instinct to bite, and crush his head, because I know that after the moment of fervent primordial violence, I would no longer have my feathered companion, who although at times bothersome does reward me greatly with a sense of togetherness. This is what you must do as well. Be human. Not a beast. If you want to kill, do what I do. Go hunting. Go pesting. Keep the meat or give it to your cat. One shot one kill. If wounded (Should never happen...but accidents...), track and kill. Let nothing suffer.


fuck it by Basil Tootworth - Sat, 29 Jul 2017 22:16:38 EST ID:buDodtmC No.517772 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've been wanting to make a thread here for like over a year but I haven't been able to get myself to post. since i'm in a state of non-sobriety and ecstasy while sobbing to myself inside I figure i should do it now while i cant think straight and just make it about why the fuck i cant even make a thread here. I'm so afraid of being judged that its taken me a year to make a thread on an anonymous website that i go to almost daily asking for help. is there anything i can do to stop myself from running? at this point i am a marathon runner, and could possibly compete in the Olympics of avoidance.
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Doris Trotfuck - Mon, 31 Jul 2017 13:34:48 EST ID:LoDjme4P No.517808 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517803
sounds like you mean psychiatrist. theres no reason not to tell your psychologist about drug use, unless the system is different in US psychologists dont prescribe medicines
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Cyril Trotfuck - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 02:03:06 EST ID:buDodtmC No.517861 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517808
yeah, i'm in the us, so it is like that, but im mostly worried about not getting treated the same due to being a drug user. i've pretty much got over my disso addiction now too, so its not vital that i get help for quitting, so idk.

anyways,
>>517781
open social activities do seem like something i should try. does it seem like a good idea to try going to an anime club meeting? as i dont really have other hobbies. i could go to a book one but i've only read like one book in the past few years. yeah i definitely need to get out of my comfort zone, but i struggle to think of things outside my comfort zone that would be particularly appealing. but that is probably because the anxiety has worked its way into how i decide what would be appealing and what wouldnt.


>>517782
yeah ive got some shit i need to get done right now that i dont have enough self control to do.i should probably go do that now.
ive been planning something similar to the trip youre planning, for me its going on a roadtrip to visit a net friend, but it feels like putting effort into planning that would be just avoiding making actual progress on my life in the meantime.
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Cyril Trotfuck - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 02:19:17 EST ID:buDodtmC No.517862 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517785
you have no idea how much blood, sweat, and tears i have put in, how many endless nights behind my keyboard i have spent, how i have focused every neuron in my brain on attempting to come up with the stupidest shitpost imaginable. i am still refining it.

ive never actually managed to do any hardcore exposure therapy before. closest ive got is softcore. really soft core. little kittens. i dunno, i should probably start doing more of that type of shit - doing shit thats normal but i'm scared to do it for no reason. ie i was petrified of the idea of using an ATM or paying anything with my debit card because i wasnt sure of my pin. went down to an atm recently and i did know it. but then pretty much everything is that.
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Cyril Trotfuck - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 02:28:13 EST ID:buDodtmC No.517863 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517862
i think the problem with exposure is that i have no idea how i would get myself to do it and i feel that if i did it i would be absolutely petrified of doing anything related to what i did the exposure thing on for a long time. ie if i did the bus thing i probably wouldnt be able to ride the bus for a while. i guess thats the point though.
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Cyril Trotfuck - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 02:36:21 EST ID:buDodtmC No.517864 Ignore Report Quick Reply
post 3#, realizing i'm making excuses for me not doing more exposure things.nb


General lack of emotions and no emotional attachments by Walter Finnerham - Sat, 29 Jul 2017 08:11:50 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.517755 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Anyone here able to relate to this? Just trying to start a conversation about it and vent a bit because I've really got nobody to talk about it. Seems like anybody that it's actually not sketchy to talk to about it (nobody actually knows what a fuckin psychopath/sociopath is and the label gets thrown around like nothing these days but having the label stick is still carries some risk) just isn't capable of properly relating so I wind up only being able to talk about some of it and then once I realize it's going to be another fruitless endeavor I quit.

So the deal is that other than maybe anger and irritation (and not even those anymore), I really don't feel fuckin anything emotion wise these days. It took a few years but I've finally gotten used to it, and it's not as much of a concern. The bigger "problem" is that I feel absolutely nothing about people around me dying, whether they're close to me or I really only know them by name. Same goes for relationships of any kind ending, being able to feel bad or otherwise sorry for people (like if their family member died or something), or really anything else where you expect yourself to naturally feel something, but it's like I'm drying from a well that's totally bone dry. No matter how long I think about something or try to think about things in a different way about things that should cause me grief or make me pretty upset (even if only for a short time), I feel exactly the same as I would had I never, for example, learned of some person dying.

The only reason this is really any problem at all socially is that giving a fuck about somebody dying is one of the few things I can't fake and just keep the conversation going. The rest is all shit I deal with and can function just fine in social settings and no one would otherwise know anything different about me.
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Doris Pinderhurk - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 16:19:45 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.517832 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517804
That depends, do you have a small penis?


So kind of an update on this. I've thought about it all in great detail before so I didn't really expect to get much from talking things out in terms of realizing something about myself that explains my behavior that I've overlooked, and for the most part I was right, but I did make a connection between something I already knew about myself and didn't previously didn't connect the dots and figure out it's pretty relevant.

So after that first concussion I had intense anxiety in general but mostly social anxiety on top of that ridiculousy oppressive depression and lot's of anger, rage, agitation, irritation, and aggression issues (had really vivid fantasies that were so clear and almost real that at times I was worried I'd snap out of it and actually be in the middle of doing it or starting to do it of violently assaulting and killing people in increasingly gruesome ways... I also would have such a strong desire to attack somebody that I could feel some kind of energy in my arms as if they were a muscle twitch a way from moving on their own, which was also something I was pretty afraid would happen). The way I eventually got over the anxiety issues was to train myself to think out and rationalize why or why not it made sense to feel apprehension and worry over whatever it was I feeling it because of. A majority of what I was doing was telling myself how little sense it made to be worrying about things, and naturally made quite a large effort to not worry about things I had zero possibility of controlling or changing.

Now, 10 or so years later, I typically have more of a problem of being too anxiety free (things I should worry about I don't and need to make an active effort to bug myself mentally about needing to do this or that), and when it comes to things I can't control or even when it comes to other people, don't care to control, I literally couldn't give a shit. Usually this all relates to stress and worry so I didn't immediately link it to my utter lack of an emotional reaction to things that, in general, had no control over or no longer have control over. I'm having a hard time tellin…
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Shitting Tootgold - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 14:58:32 EST ID:kmqEcrpF No.517840 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517755
Is this gif Lain?
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Polly Hoblingdick - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 18:45:05 EST ID:GytHs1La No.517842 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Same. I think many are faking it and feel that way too. It's probably like 10% of pop at least who are this way, OP, at least male population. I think it sucks but we were obviously born like this and can do nothing about it without drug aids. I myself drink often. It shows that I do have those emotional capacities, and sobriety reminds me of how completely empty I am at the default state.
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Phoebe Shakebury - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 21:33:54 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.517852 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517840
No son, it's third impact
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Phoebe Shakebury - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 23:53:41 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.517855 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517842
That's how I got addicted to dissociatives man. Dissociative tolerance lasts forever (not like I was taking long enough breaks that if the tolerance break wasn't any longer than any other drug, I'd still have had a huge tolerance) and I've got a pretty large cross tolerance to basically any I've tried. Strangely enough the dissociative state became one that connected me with all my emotions again, and I could function well enough on them because of my massive tolerance that I let that problem grow really out of hand for a very long time.

Honestly I'd be totally fine if not for the fact that music is just not the same as it is when I'm drunk or working on a decent buzz, and especially compared to listening to it on dissociatives (marijuana too but I haven't smoked any in like 6 years). Simply being able to somewhat casually enjoy music playing as a way to pass time for the rest of my life is not something I'm honestly capable of. If I couldn't get drunk either I really don't know how I'd fucking react.


Rape victim with email and phone number of perpetrator , please help me by Henry Paffingshaw - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 19:27:34 EST ID:lQZk9S9c No.517844 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I'm fucking depressed and near suicidle tbh, I feel impotent and I'm ready for suicide. TL/DR I was raped and had money stolen off by a guy From my card I met off the internet and I still have his email adress and phone number he also stole and took 250 pounds from my account, I don't know what I can do I feel like if i message the police they'll not persecute him and instead persecute me for some reason, I don't know, please help me please I just want to know what I can do against this vile rapist who stolen money and innocence from me, he met with me got me drunk till o couldn't move then raped me as I slept. I'm near fucking suicide via depression please help me 420chan I want some retribution against this rapist please I don't know what to do or anything
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Beatrice Pockhall - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 19:53:45 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.517845 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517844
How the hell did he manage to steal money from your account? You gave him your pin?

Anyway, if you have any evidence of his crimes, go to the police. If not, just move on with your life, you'll get over it eventually. It's shitty but there's not a lot you can do without evidence. The rule of law is there to protect us all against false imprisonment, we can't just go around locking people up based on someone's word. Although you may be powerless to retaliate, you're not powerless to prevent yourself from being raped again. For one you can stop getting so drunk that you can't move with people you met off the internet. Pretty much all you need to do is never be in a room alone with a guy you don't trust entirely. Very doable.
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Lydia Daddlesock - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 19:55:17 EST ID:nYBDxjTk No.517846 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I hesitate to even answer because I'm overwhelmed just by the thought of what you've been through, and can't imagine I can even make a dent in it over the web. First off, fuck that shit. I hate that someone would do that to anyone, and I'm sorry you're going through this.

Second, If you're immediately after, don't shower, in case you do decide to call the police and they do a rape kit to get evidence against the rapist.

Third, I'm giving you all my sympathy over this board, but if you have anyone in your life that you actually trust and can call for a conversation, please call them and talk to them right now. Surely that's going to be better for you than randos on the internet.
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Fucking Bardway - Fri, 04 Aug 2017 13:07:59 EST ID:bwJOb6Ln No.517892 Ignore Report Quick Reply
a doctor (a medical doctor or a head doctor) can help you and talk you through this and support you.

Don't try to do this alone, you have been through hell. Get the support and help you need. I hope you're ok, OP.


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