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Wow, thanks for such a long, dedicated post man. I don't know how to organize an answer so I'll just babble with everything going through my head right now. I think I need to chill a bit, and not force myself into going out with someone. I spent most of this weekend (it was a long holiday in my country) just reading in the library and studying. Although if I think of it thoroughly I actually did a lot of stuff. Nonetheless, no sex or women involved. And I had a great time. I don't know, I think I might just enjoy not having the pressure of having to go out with someone, and having to fuck someone. So long as my ex doesn't constantly intrude my train of thought I think it's doable.
As for the hobbies, it's a great advice. The problem is: first, I really don't have much time or energy left to do more stuff, I'm already way over my head with what I'm doing right now. Second, I usually incorporate everything I do to what I study or what I train. It's really difficult for me to just have something entirely separate. And if I do, I turn it into something serious, I absolutely have to get better at. Still I might have to go in that direction.
I probably will shoot myself eventually, sometimes it gets really hard to push through, or at least I've always kept that thought in the back of my mind, I really don't know what I'm doing, or why I'm doing it, other than that I somewhat enjoy it, and can't picture myself doing anything else. In any case, for the time being, I'd rather be alive, and that's good enough.
Lastly, I used to that math thing as well when I studied math hahaha. I do the memory thing now, but like I said, it makes it feel like a chore. It's hard, and I have to focus on not enjoying it. It just takes all the fun out of it.
Good luck on your tinder date man, I hope you have a good time with her.