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college social life at 30? by Molly Broddlewell - Fri, 29 Sep 2017 02:54:35 EST ID:/dqI8T0n No.519093 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So I was a permavirgin sperglord all through my teenage years, and then in a relationship all through my 20s. I completely skipped dating and partying in my younger years, all of that. I also didn't start college til I was 29. I broke up with my ex earlier this year. (I turned 30 in august). Thing is, I'm definitely the most attractive I've ever been - physically and personality-wise. And my social skills are a million times better. So for that last quarter - my first quarter single in college - I was getting results, I hooked up with a couple of different pretty attractive girls..

So now after all these years, I'm finally single and in college, but I'm 30 now. I'm surrounded by all these hot girls and most of them are so much younger than me. I was doing OK at 29, but now that I've had a brief taste of that life I'm afraid that it's already all over. Cause I know 30 is a big step, psychologically. 30 was "old" when I was that age. So, honestly, bluntly: Do I stand a snowball's chance in hell in the college dating scene? Will college girls still fuck me now that I'm 30? Also, will I be able to find people to hang with, or get invited to house shows and parties? Or did I completely screw the pooch not breaking up earlier. I'm much more interested in spending time with at least a somewhat younger crowd, and definitely dating younger women, most people my age and even in their late 20s, their personality has started to mellow put and they're not as loud and dynamic and that's what I want in my life.

Anecdotal replies from other guys my age in school would be especially appreciated
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Phineas Gonkinman - Wed, 04 Oct 2017 11:01:31 EST ID:1kbRpa3f No.519185 Ignore Report Quick Reply
27 y/o currently dating a 20 y/o

I can confirm that young girls love older "mature" men
Alice Bunderfedge - Wed, 04 Oct 2017 17:17:08 EST ID:0wWM6p+c No.519195 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If you want flings and hook ups then just drop a couple of years from your age when you tell them. Say you're 25/26 if it puts your mind at ease. Go out there and get that 20 year old ass.
Angus Bevingshaw - Fri, 06 Oct 2017 23:38:14 EST ID:/pl3Lein No.519217 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What the fuck, man. If you think the number 30 is such a big deal, how about you just say that you are 29? I don't understand any of this.
Nell Dubblechare - Sat, 07 Oct 2017 03:59:56 EST ID:DlJv0rWW No.519221 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If you are healthy part of the community, you will benefit as such. If you are a maladjusted weirdo, that's the kinda pussy and respect you'll get.

avoid shitting where you sleep, btw.
it would be a shame if your academic career was jeopardized by a party, group of girls in a car, etc.
Oliver Bipperlot - Sat, 07 Oct 2017 07:05:00 EST ID:GHzh7vt/ No.519222 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Fuck it, pretend you're 31. That oughta fuck with your ego.

mixed thoughts by shit post - Sun, 24 Sep 2017 06:34:49 EST ID:RLper1nr No.518958 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I need to see this written out.

I am just tired of being here. Never being able to fully connect with someone. At least on a level of intimacy that I could enjoy. I do not know how much of it is actually me versus a projected perspective of myself but in all honesty I know I am probably the last person to come to mind when someone envisions attraction.

I really think what is hitting me these past years is just feeling so alone and then feeling like I have no way of changing that. I do not just sit around and feel sorry about my circumstances. I do make an effort to try and put myself out there. A few years ago I moved, losing friends that I had for over five years.

It is hard to relate to other people too. Everyone seems to be focused on social media interactions and other meaningless conversation. I can talk about it and produce a conversation but it just does not feel...needed. I just don't care about these things in life and I feel like I have to keep up to date just to be able to talk with someone. But all of that is irrelevant, somewhat.

I talk about how I want a deeper connection with other people but at the same time I continually push people away who try and make any kind of a connection with me. I see other people who can just do all of this as if it is second nature to them. For me, it all feels as if I some sort of foreign invasion to the whole concept being able to function correctly.

I do not want to put my life on a pedestal either. I know others have had life circumstances way harder than mine. I just realize now I'm approaching 30 and I have never had a meaningful relationship. Even further, all of my relationships have been in some form to use myself as a means to an end. A large part of that is my own doing. I think I seek out people who will stick around but be a negative influence. I think beyond this point I would just be rambling but it has been a long time since I have felt that I should still be here. I have less excuses now than I did before
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David Dambleshit - Fri, 29 Sep 2017 04:21:44 EST ID:h/1sxUpj No.519098 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>incidence of each side effect is under half. You will have half of the side effects

That... that's not how that works. Not at all. What that means is that half of all patients taking them will experience one or more of the side effects, not that you will experience half of the listed side effects.
Isabella Boblingtick - Sat, 30 Sep 2017 17:50:15 EST ID:y4dzzy4B No.519122 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP, about the anti-depressants' side effects, they may suck but sometimes they last like a day or two. Is not a big deal, the feelings and other stuff you are describing are
I've been extreamly depressed since I was a kid, the same thoughs you are expressing and other stuff to. I broke when I was 18 and I finally decided to get help at 19. Psychotherapy sucked for me, because, in a similar to you way, I knew everything I was doing wrong and why I was experiencing what I was experiencing. Then I went to the shrink, got diagnosed bipolar, started taking lamotrigine (which is not an anti-depressant tho) and I'm much better. Far from being a normal and "good" person but not as far as before.
You see everything as meaningless but still feel pain about it, that means you actually do hang on something. This can be good or actually be exactly what is making you miserable beyond possible (and very likely) chemical inbalance.
good luck
Polly Chiblinghick - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 06:18:30 EST ID:3qSLtzLv No.519129 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I would take physical pain over psychological pain any day.
Barnaby Smallgold - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 20:45:48 EST ID:4I/hIj3s No.519145 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Ok OP, first about the antidepressants. My experience with them was simply INCREDIBLE

I was depressed af, cutting myself and writing about raping women , until I was 24 or 25. Then I started taking paxil. The very first day I took the pill (probably placebo effect) I engaged in conversation with a girl from my building when we took the elevator together. Nothing big, just "hey, did you see X?" but prior to that I would just stare at the mirror and not say anything.

After this, it kept getting better and better. I was so relaxed, I could talk to everybody. I made a lot of friends, went to a lot of parties, got laid. Two years after I began taking it, I decided I was going to stop. So I did, and eventually I was able to feel just happy without the pills. I just needed to find out how it felt to be that kind of person, and then I was able to do it myself without any medication.

I still have some anxiety problems, but my social anxiety is almost gone now. I can talk to girls I see on the bus, on the train, random girls i walk by in the street. It's all because I was able to practice for two years with a little push from the pills, so I think that might be helpful for some other people.

Secondly, making lasting connections is not easy. I have met over 200 people and I only keep in touch with <10. Most people we meet are just "accidents"; we are not really meant to click with each other. So don't give up! You don't win a marathon by just showing up without practice. I know sometimes social media crap can be annoying, but part of being smart is learning how to become engaged in things that you wouldn't normally engage in. Like normie stuff, partying, etc. Just don't let it take over your whole life
shit post - Thu, 05 Oct 2017 07:31:52 EST ID:RLper1nr No.519208 Ignore Report Quick Reply

That is how I want my end goal to look like. I have had these thoughts and mindset for as long as I can remember but I know at previous points I was capable in those aspects. Now I feel like pudding and see myself burning opportunities away left and right for nothing.

Falling For A Methed Out Woman by Blunt Vendor - Mon, 02 Oct 2017 01:29:43 EST ID:AwrgW6PH No.519150 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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There's no way to ease into this, plain and simple.
I've caught feelings for a young woman hooked on meth.
The moment I first saw her, I knew she was trouble. When I look into her eyes, I see a lot of pain and fire, and I can see a brilliant mind somewhere in there. She's smart enough to blow me away at times, and I'm not easily impressed.
Mutual friends have told me much about how smart and beautiful she used to be, and how diminished she is now. Another person really close to her informed me that she's been having body image issues as a result, which is something that helps fuel her habit.
Honestly, that shit bothers, because I think she's beautiful who she is. Beauty isn't on the outside. It's a combination of your body, mind, heart, and spirit. Who you are is also a culmination of your experiences, trials, and adaptations.
She used to be wild and free, and no shit she'll always be wild and free.

Should she choose to overcome meth, she'd be a 13/10 to me, but it looks like I'd have to be there the whole time.
So far, the slow approach has been the only possible option, and it's been trucking along slowly.
It was established long ago that she has an interest in me and thinks I'm smart, which was supposedly a plus.
Now, she's usually hitting me up when she's coming down. Usually within 2 hours of crash.

Oh, forgot to mention, it was cleared that she's single and down for whatever. She's a real chill hippie type.

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Blunt Vendor - Wed, 04 Oct 2017 01:43:15 EST ID:AwrgW6PH No.519180 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Ended up spending all day with her. We did responsible adult stuff before shit started happening. We did a lot of walking, talking, and chilling. Got food as well. Despite the hiccups and shortcomings, it was still an amazing day.
One of our mutual dumbass friends ended up going off on her for something stupid, really upset her. I chose her over him, because I know he'd choose his girl over me (As he always does, duh).
Cheered her back up and got her to stop crying while we were walking a long ways.
So far so good.

Welcome to Schroedinger's /qq/ thread.
It's both a problem and not a problem.
Hopefully this becomes a story that gives hope instead of warning.
Addicts really do need a lot of love, patience, and hope to succeed, I believe.
Alice Bunderfedge - Wed, 04 Oct 2017 17:08:46 EST ID:0wWM6p+c No.519194 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Addicts need to want to get clean otherwise all of this is a waste of your time. Giving her support and something positive to aim for is good but don't give her all of you or a relationship untill she getting off the Meth. If she likes you that much she will give it up, if not then perhaps she's not worth a great deal of effort.
Blunt Vendor - Thu, 05 Oct 2017 00:13:21 EST ID:AwrgW6PH No.519199 Ignore Report Quick Reply
She wants to, but knows she's fucking hooked.
The only thing I offer her is my heart. She managed to pull it from the freezer, and no one else has.
Aside from that, heart can shut the fuck up.
Blunt Vendor - Thu, 05 Oct 2017 00:16:13 EST ID:AwrgW6PH No.519200 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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On a bad day, I only waste like 30 minutes out of my day trying to check on her. That's mainly just legging it. Nbd.
Nothing to lose, everything to gain.
John Nobbleshit - Tue, 10 Oct 2017 10:49:58 EST ID:3qSLtzLv No.519286 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Louis Theroux has a great documentary on older meth addicts. The fairtail outcome (outcome A)is that you'll help her get off the meth and the two of you will live happily ever after (or have a normal relationship that ends in a shitstorm, like most relationships because people are complicated).
The other outcome (outcome B)is she is going to be on this for life, which may not be very long. She'll waste all her money, get uglier and uglier, constantly quit it and then end up back on it, will break your heart every single day, and eventually die in your arms, or worse, she just won't come home one day.

You know that, right? So you gotta be okay with both outcomes, you gotta decide that B would be worth it anyway, because otherwise you don't deserve A

Emotional Support for someone you don't really know by Fanny Gomblefield - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 23:36:02 EST ID:TiaOcGcD No.519148 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So in a VERY last minute decision I moved to China earlier on in the month to teach English. For the first 3 days I was living in a huge apartment by myself, but then I got a flatmate. Basically what happened is him and his girlfriend (both of them teaching at the school) broke up and he obviously needed a place to stay.

So, I'm thrown into this situation with this guy I know fuck all about other than that on the night out he started a fight with this dude (who everyone loves) and that he was reckless enough to book a flight to Thailand that night but missed it.

That said, he's actually proved to be a pretty sound guy and we've gotten on much better than I would have hoped. Had a few good conversations and some good laughs, we're very different though.

Anyway, I've been trying to cheer him up over his break up, just being someone to listen to and rattling off standard "you'll feel better eventually" bullshit that people just want to hear when they are going through a break up.

NOW THOUGH, His gran is dying, this is happening right now, and I just feel like I am a bit out of my element? I can talk bullshit to someone about them feeling better about relationships but the death of a loved family member makes me feel a bit ill equipped to deal with.

Anyone got some tips on how to deal with this situation? He's out for a bike ride by himself right now but will be back soon.
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Samuel Gammlebanks - Mon, 02 Oct 2017 23:40:42 EST ID:o3vIoRWZ No.519167 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Death of a close person who raised you is far out of anyone's league. But you still can have an important role in them better dealing with that situation (apart from expressing sympathy).

You're in the perfect position to ground him being that you live with him. Direct his attention to mundane everyday life in your home. Chores, plans, the like.

This will do two things: distract him from the pain and worry, and show him that life still goes on as usual even during/after tragedies.

Dude's just lost one important thing, and is about to lose another one, this time an irreplaceable one. Plus in thus crisis, he managed to drop and break other things, like travel, friends, reputation. He must feel like in the middle of an earthquake.

What you can do is a great thing, particularly because you don't know him. You can help him regain firm footing.

No deep shit. Just washing dishes. No heart to heart talk. Just drinking coffee together in the morning. Ya feel me? This will save him.
Samuel Gammlebanks - Tue, 03 Oct 2017 00:18:17 EST ID:o3vIoRWZ No.519168 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP can suck his roommates dick even if he's not a girl, ya homophobe.
Shit Fondlestock - Tue, 03 Oct 2017 01:19:10 EST ID:94uHFygY No.519171 Ignore Report Quick Reply
im the nigga who replied to your thread saying "hehe tell me how you feel in a month"

i see your happiness lasted 3 days. looking forward to your end-of-october update
Fanny Duckfield - Tue, 03 Oct 2017 20:57:50 EST ID:mGPUta/s No.519178 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Chill homie, I always knew I would get a room mate. It just happened a bit more suddenly than I had planned. He's the one hating it here, not me. I'm still having a great time! Was just looking for a bit of advice in the place I usually turn to when I don't know what to do. Keep your eyes out for my post end of October, I'll post a link to my blog there too so you can get even MORE updates.

If anyone is interested he's decided to leave China. All this time he's been saying that he expects there's a chance he'll get together with his GF again and that "if I leave I could be back here in 4 months and me and her will go travelling".

Whenever he said this stuff I just nodded and kept quiet. I think today it sunk in how unrealistic all of that was. I've been speaking to him lots and encouraging him (with some success) to come out but today he's changed and just wants to be alone. I'm not gonna force it on him and I think he's just through in the next room coming to terms with the fact his relationship of 4 years has just ended. He was saying stuff like "I wish she'd just cheat on me so I'd know it was over" and "If there was even a 1% chance that I think it could work I would stay". Just wanted to tell him to listen to himself and how he would feel if he heard me or anyone else talking like that.

Everyone else is on Holiday now so it's just me and him around. Tomorrow we're gonna go to Hong Kong and I'll see him off. Feeling surprisingly emotional considering I've only known him a week. From what I can tell he's a good guy and he's got exciting shit going down in Holland where he's gonna begin a new job. Pretty cool he can abandon shit here so quick and go straight into something totally different on the other side of the world.

I wish him the best but realistically there's almost no way I'll ever see him again. He's sold me his scooter and his hiking boots and I reckon he's also gonna leave some other shit here. I know pretty much nothing about the dude who he's getting replaced with other than that we share a mutual friend (who invited us both out) and we…
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George Grimlock - Wed, 04 Oct 2017 11:08:27 EST ID:3qSLtzLv No.519187 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Hello, Irish person?

Anyway, is there any way he can get home? If he can, he should. If he can't just tell him you are there if he wants to talk, and listen to him and nod.. And say things like "oh god that's awful" when he says something that is awful. That's all people need, they need you to want to listen and they need you to listen and acknowledge how shit things are so that they feel a bit less alone.

Read your update, It sounds like you did a good job with this situation.

I feel so gross by Nigel Tootdock - Mon, 25 Sep 2017 02:04:06 EST ID:/v/fnY4O No.518979 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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A couple of months ago, I went to a concert at my university and, obviously, got pretty drunk. Anyhow, I ended up hooking up with a fat chick in a bathroom nd it's making me feel super disgusted with myself. I've been tripping out thinking about how awkward it'd be if I ever met her again, or her friends recognized me, or something. I felt so creepy doing it
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Walter Meffingwell - Sat, 30 Sep 2017 12:39:56 EST ID:3qSLtzLv No.519115 Ignore Report Quick Reply
my boyfriend wouldn't be with me if I was fat, I don't think he would break up with me if I became fat, but he wouldn't be with me if I was fat to begin with. Doesn't that suck though? Don't you think it would suck to know your girlfriend wouldn't have fallen for you if you'd had a few more strips of bacon or glasses of wine? I mean, it's all that tenuous, you know?
Clara Billingshaw - Sat, 30 Sep 2017 15:43:18 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.519118 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Drink more alcohol.
Walter Wocklechit - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 02:43:44 EST ID:U5lO1hLA No.519127 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I had sex with a woman who was 330 pounds once.

It was disgusting. She had to lift a fold for me to enter her.

I call her sex pudding.
Polly Chiblinghick - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 06:17:06 EST ID:3qSLtzLv No.519128 Ignore Report Quick Reply
it's called a fup
Barnaby Smallgold - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 20:34:20 EST ID:4I/hIj3s No.519142 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Don't you think it would suck to know your girlfriend wouldn't have fallen for you if you'd had a few more strips of bacon or glasses of wine

Not really. We all are selective, and when it comes to sexuality the window of opportunity is not that wide, you really have to be lucky or make an effort to fit in the "handsome" category.

We are superficial creatures, we judge by what we see. It sucks, I know. But that's how it works.

In love with my practice gf by William Gemmerspear - Tue, 26 Sep 2017 21:12:35 EST ID:9wOsmSAI No.519025 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>23 khv
>meet a girl off tinder
>had boyfriends and herpes
>fuck it, want to get my dick wet, not going to marry her
>ff a few years
>realize I've fallen in love with this practice gf
>a part from being a non-virgin she's a perfect gf
>she loves me, my dick and cares about me so much.

I think she's the one, and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. I know that at my age, finding a girl who doesn't have a past is hard and I know that if I leave her, I might find a girl who's a bigger whore, or a virgin with a shit personality. Is there a way that I can stop thinking about it? I've been considering fucking some hookers n shit to even the score, so whenever I think about how she's a whore, I can remind myself I was with an actual whore.
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Nigel Clevinghall - Thu, 28 Sep 2017 21:21:29 EST ID:pEnCA1MP No.519090 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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William Gongerfotch - Fri, 29 Sep 2017 13:37:49 EST ID:WV91K+Uu No.519104 Ignore Report Quick Reply
But you fucked a random with no intention of marriage OP.

Are you a hypocrite or a troll?

Oh well. Either way you're probably miserable and deserve it nb.
Hedda Sovingstug - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 11:24:07 EST ID:8vq+ulI+ No.519131 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>apart from being a non-virgin she's a perfect gf
Who the hell is still a virgin past their teenage years? What is this line supposed to mean? You might wanna chase nuns.
Barnaby Smallgold - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 20:31:09 EST ID:4I/hIj3s No.519141 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>Who the hell is still a virgin past their teenage years
Uh, lots of people? I've met a lot of girls on their 20s who are virgins, and they're not necessarily religious, they just haven't had much social interaction. Don't believe what this idiot said here >>519038
>but finding a virgin at 23 is going to basically be impossible

Not true. My first gf was 24, a virgin. My second gf was 22, she had had only one other partner. Third gf was 25, also one partner. Not every girl fucks every cock they come across

HAVING SAID THAT (pic related)

OP, you're gonna have to admit that a lot of women are being incredibly open about their sexuality these days, and they will ALWAYS ALWAYS have the upper hand when it comes to numbers. I have met some ugly 4/10s who told me about how much dick they were getting, fucking as many men every month as the number of women I fucked in the last 5 years. And believe me, I was really trying to get laid.

You just have to think about it in terms of "fleeting experiences". Your girl probably enjoys meeting new guys, and guys love fucking. So she tries to please them (and herself in the process) so she fucks them. If she met men who were into museums or watercolor painting, would you be mad that she got to do those things with other boys first? Men want to fuck, and fuck quickly. So if she's very sociable, chances are she's got dick thrown at her from every direction. But none of it stuck to her, until you came along.

I understand how you fee, don't get me wrong. I met an English teacher here in my country (south america, not saying which one) and she has fucked so many dudes here, I found it upsetting at first. I felt jealous, but I realized that it was just a dumb thing to feel. I mean, here I am trying to fuck a girl within the first two dates and then I expect her not to do the same with the men she meets, or I expect other men to be "respectful" and wait until marriage? I know better than that, I'm not gonna be a hypocrite. So what I did was just try to forget about it, try to have a great time with her, and try to be better than all those other boys she's been fucking.
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Ian Senderdale - Thu, 05 Oct 2017 03:17:42 EST ID:h/1sxUpj No.519203 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Right, because you're married to this girl?
So it's fine to break the rule with you, just not with anyone else.
If you had been around a bit more you'd probably realise how that sex is pretty meaningless in and off itself.
Also the key theory is retarded, I mean apart from the fact that dicks bear a superficial similarity to keys and vaginas to locks I'm not sure there's a lot to it. I mean, 1 goes in things the other has things go in it. 10/10 theory.

Got dumped after 5 years dont know how to move on by Sadman - Sat, 30 Sep 2017 13:26:28 EST ID:6AiYpVVQ No.519116 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hey /qq/ I recently got dumped by my gf after 5 years because I had a depression. It really broke my heart because I was there when she had personal issues and after all this time In expected at least some support. This year has just been really rough, my grandma got cancer again, my brother is really sick as well and my best friend has a braintumor that will probably kill him within a year. All that stuff got me really depressed but she didn't take it seriously when I told her. She didnt contact me a lot for the past 4 months and I know she is bad for me, your SO should be there for you when you are going through tough shit. But I just cant get over her and I still love her even after all she has done. How do I get over her and convince myself that it is better this way so I can move on? Thanks
Walter Meffingwell - Sat, 30 Sep 2017 14:19:10 EST ID:3qSLtzLv No.519117 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Isabella Pockwell - Sat, 30 Sep 2017 16:07:18 EST ID:wT5IMEgn No.519119 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Sorta similar story and yknow... had the same thoughts and realized why?
They fucking suck, it's not worth it, they are shit for me and self-absorbed, hypocritical, two-faced, no longer putting up with it.
You will too, it will get better
Polly Chiblinghick - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 10:56:17 EST ID:3qSLtzLv No.519130 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Hugh Facklelidge - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 11:42:37 EST ID:qTml9FbR No.519132 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Yes, them.
Barnaby Smallgold - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 20:08:20 EST ID:4I/hIj3s No.519140 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yes, time is the answer. Because with time come new experiences, so eventually your brain will devote more power to the new experiences than to the old memories.

You can just sit on your ass and wait, or you can accelerate the process by opening your life to new and exciting experiences. Go skydive, kayaking, go to a club alone and just do something scary and exciting. I believe this will distract you and give you the closure that you need.

Also fuck other women, that also helps. Even hookers, our reptile brain will feel better even if you think it won't.

'Girlfriend' with anxiety disorder; don't know if I can carry on by William Bardlock - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 18:00:44 EST ID:13MAZ+He No.519134 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hey y’all, a quick note: english isn’t my native tongue. I tried to keep it short but didn’t succeed, although I left out many parts, sorry.

I (25M) have had some kind of non-committing relationship (2 yrs) with a friend (25F) whom I’ve known for about 3 years prior to that. I will call her Mary from here on out.

Mary and I have been living in an ‘open’ relationship for about 6 Months. We normally see each other 2-3 times a week, due to the distance (same city but about an hour away from each other) and also because she suffers from some kind of social anxiety disorder. It’s also the reason why I never really spent a night in her bed or she in mine, we do have sex but sleep apart. This went on for some time.

I met Karen (24F) because I moved into her flat. We liked each other as friends and during a night out we kissed each other and subsequently had sex. She knew about Mary and although she said she felt bad about her she agreed to have kind of a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship. She asked me if I felt bad if she kept dating which I denied.
Most nights we shared the bed and spent more time together than before and generally had a good time (I think). She kept asking to hang out and said she enjoyed the sex, so I guess Karen also had an okay time.

Mary was just starting therapy, therefore had very little time. We still talked every day on the phone and saw each other during the week, although not as often. We still had sex from time to time. No more or less than before, really.

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William Bardlock - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 18:01:56 EST ID:13MAZ+He No.519135 Ignore Report Quick Reply
aw fuck; sorry for the fucked up text
Barnaby Smallgold - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 20:05:57 EST ID:4I/hIj3s No.519139 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>So should I end the sexual relationship with Mary?
Only if she wants to. Girls like sex too, so as long as you're not forcing it out of her, I would say you just follow what she wants. I know we boys love sex and it's hard to be with a girl alone and not get turned on, so maybe you could masturbate before you visit her, if she doesn't feel aroused at all anymore.

>Am I being a dick for thinking that Erica is selfish?
Yes, she sounds like a cunt. Women hate being left out. As far as I can tell, women will fuck you no matter what, as long as they feel comfortable when they're with you. They can be married or have bfs but if they feel comfortable with you, they will forget about everything else and just have fun. So it seems to me that this flatmate is making the whole situation uncomfortable for Karen, or adding to her doubts. I would try getting rid of this Erica, she sounds like a bitch.

>Should I talk with Karen?
Yes, if you want to keep having sex with her you have to make her feel comfortable, it seems like it wasn't a problem before that you two were fucking while she was dating (I have fucked a few girls with bfs and they definitely didn't seem to give a shit, as long as they felt safe around me) so I think you should talk to her, maybe just try to express the emotions you want her to have, tell her that you don't feel comfortable with Erica living there with you two, don't make it about You&Karen but about You&Erika, if you manage to make the two dislike each other that might work for you

is this PSTD, and if so what do I do? by Edward Nickledock - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 18:11:29 EST ID:r6RDja3H No.519136 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hi my name is Josie! I am 27 years old and living in Austin Texas at the moment. Please forgive my terrible grammar, no excuse but in a rush and sorry. I am looking for some advice as to how to handle and treat my husband.
A little back story: we met a month before I moved for a big job and he was deployed to Kuwait for a year (officer in the army). Durring the first six months we were constantly talking and he seemed too good to be true. So much so that after he visited that January I was ready to call him my boyfriend and go official with 6 more months of deployment left. This gave me enough time to really understand he was something special, so when he invited me to move in with him to bum fuck Texas I was more than willing. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try with this guy. He is the second great love of my life, and I hope to have children with him someday. When we finally moved in together everything seemed okay with him, other than the fact we both hated where we had to live (I used to call him T.P. for total package, and even to this day he is.)That was no big deal to me as long as we were together.
Durring the last 3 years we have had his father come live with us (he is THE grumpyest old man. italian, vulgar, believes women have certain places in the home), had money come and go, my new career change, and the normal relationship struggles (we both don't believe in cheating but also stay away from snooping on phones, setting standards on who we can and can not talk to, or hang out with. When we both started dating it was important for us to have respect for ourselves but mostly each other). The biggest struggle being him receiving a medical discharg with PTSD as well as sever anxiety. I'd say I am not the most understanding person when it comes to anxiety, I personally don't have much experience. I only say that because it seems to be a big point of contention between us; him with a constant sense of urgency even when theres no rush, verse me doing things more out of interest and a.d.d. than purpose. As you can assume, I get on his nerves being such a space cadet. Even with the added stress and his mental break downs I was ready to be his wife when he asked me 3 months ag…
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Edward Nickledock - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 18:16:11 EST ID:r6RDja3H No.519137 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Didn't mean to post all that personal info but shit too late now.... lmfao this was originally chicken scratched for another, more personal website but fuck it....
George Clashfoot - Sun, 01 Oct 2017 19:50:18 EST ID:4I/hIj3s No.519138 Ignore Report Quick Reply
How about trying to talk without talking? I know there are people I love but when we start talking we always find something that we disagree on and we end up fighting.

So usually what I do is I just meet with them, and just go for walks, hug them, make them feel comfortable, without really trying to talk about anything. Sometimes it's enough just being there for them. How many times a day do you hug him? How many times a day do you say to him "I love you"? I know we think the other person already knows that, but it is always great to feel that someone is there for you. Don't try forcing him to come to your side, just let him know that you will be there when he needs you, and maybe one day he will be the one searching for your love.

I hate when people ask me "are you okay?" because usually if I am not, I will not say "No I am feeling terrible", I just have to put on a mask because I don't know what the person really wants. So I like when people just come and say "Hey man, give me a hug". No reason, just "give me a hug". Maybe try to go back to emotions rather than words, don't try to understand what is wrong with him, just try to give him love that he can use to feel better himself.

My sister hates me out of nowhere by Jenny Buttingnere - Sat, 30 Sep 2017 02:13:57 EST ID:j5RL5m1u No.519112 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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This is going to be a lot to read, but it's tearing me apart and I would like advice or just some peace of mind.
My backstory: 22 y.o. student at a state university (double majoring in physics and math), hobbies include piano/guitar/painting. My sister's backstory: 19 y.o. student at a different state university (majoring in.. I don't think she knows yet, either neuroscience or art), hobbies include piano/painting. Let's call her Z.
From this comparison you can gather how alike Z and I are. That used to work in our favor; we used to be SO close. She was one of my best friends. She used to look up to me. Now.. it's totally flipped. She hates me. And we live in the same house together (with my dad), so that adds extra stress to the situation. Honestly everything that's happened has made me want to move out, which I won't comfortably be able to do until I get my degree (I'm a year away from graduating).
This hatred of hers has been going on for a year now, maybe a little longer, but I was only made aware of it about a year ago. Before it turned into full-blown hatred she started acting out of character, in ways that kind of felt like she didn't respect me at all. For example, I borrowed something of hers once and she wanted it back. It was a paintbrush. I had borrowed it for a week. Instead of asking me for it back, she told other people about it until they confronted me as if I had actually stolen the paintbrush. I gave it back right away and tried to talk to her about it but she didn't really have the capability of explaining her behavior to me. Since that incident I haven't borrowed anything from her at all just because of how weird she was acting about it. That was also around the time she started stealing stuff from me, though. I think it had been going on for awhile before that but I noticed anything she borrowed of mine went suspiciously "missing". The first few times I tried confronting her about it, and she didn't react well at all to that so I started letting it go unnoticed and slowly stopped lending her my things.
That isn't where this started, that was just the base example of the trend she's acquired. When it more noticeably starte…
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Clara Billingshaw - Sat, 30 Sep 2017 16:33:54 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.519120 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Daww, she's mad that her big brother is spending so much time away from her, that's so cute. Seriously though, this is the sort of stuff a child pulls when their parents are ignoring them. They act out to get attention just like she is. She seems to have attached herself to you and you are her primary source of support and this is a response to you abandoning her in some way in her mind (or just threatening to do so). I'm guessing this all started around when you started going to college or got a new job or got a new girlfriend or something in your life started taking you away from her and it freaked her out and possibly drove her to seek out a boyfriend to compensate for the lack of emotional support she normally gets from you but couldn't because you were less available. I wouldn't be surprised if her boyfriend contributed to this if he sensed how she felt about you and got jealous and possessive and started turning her against you. It's likely that the adjustment to college life was hard on her and she needed you more than she let on.

If I was you I would just address her attitude change towards you and tell her you don't understand what's causing it and you wish she would tell you. Then I would stress that whatever it was it couldn't possibly be a big enough issue to erase all your long years of history together. Remind her that the bonds you have formed over time are far too deep and strong to be easily cut and remind her that your relationship is for life because you are blood-related siblings so that means you will always love her and support her. Tell her the relationship is important to you and you want to mend it going forward in life. Don't press her to make up right away, just let her know that the door is always open for her to walk back through.

This just really seems like it's mostly her projecting her own insecurities onto you. She doesn't want you to hurt her so she pushes you away first. She only thinks you will end up hurting her because of worries about her own lovability and she's trying to break the bond as much as possible so that if you turn on her or abandon her like she fears, it will hurt less. You have to ease…
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William Pogglenick - Sat, 30 Sep 2017 17:37:54 EST ID:UjNuOR6B No.519121 Ignore Report Quick Reply
she sounds like a mentally ill nutcase with borderline personality disorder, not any of this freudian psychoanalytical shit.

just move out man. youre at uni. you should be living in a dorm.

Lonely 20s.. what the fuck is life now? by Eugene Brollermane - Sun, 17 Sep 2017 22:36:32 EST ID:V4Eoq0lt No.518848 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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How do I cope with being alone like this? I'm 24, live alone, car, job, in a big city across the country from my family. I have no friends here, and I find I'm too depressed and anti-social to make new ones.

The only regular interactions I have with people are my coworkers, my parents via phone, my long-distances friends via facebook, and sex with girls from dating apps.

I exercise and play rec sports very regularly, and i cut out video games and TV for self improvement and to not get sucked into WoW and netflix. It's the norm for me to spend friday and saturday nights at the gym, reading by myself, or staring at the ceiling in my quiet apartment not knowing what to do with my life. I'll go out to concerts and clubs sometimes (alone) just to get outside and the experiences have all been meh.

I'm too scarred from losing friends and relationships over and over again (i've relocated a bunch in my life) to form any new ones only for people to move somewhere else, get married, or whatever and leave me behind. I'm antisocial because after dealing with shit from "acquaintances" I've cut a bunch of people out of my life all together and only make an effort to contact people who have proven to me that they value my prescence and what i have to say- they can be counted on literally one hand.

I've come to accept that I'm probably going to live the rest of my like this, alone, maintaining my life from a fucking iphone always wishing for something greater, to not push papers in khakis 50+ hours a week.

Is this what "adulthood" is supposed to be?
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Jenny Nubblefield - Tue, 26 Sep 2017 20:16:11 EST ID:1kbRpa3f No.519023 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Use your abundant free time and disposable income to learn Magic: The Gathering. Once you learn the game and build a deck pop into a local game store on a friday night for some FNM action!

Seriously, I got balls deep into magic when I was a lonely single corporate wage slave.
PeePee - Wed, 27 Sep 2017 20:22:39 EST ID:V4Eoq0lt No.519042 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Nigel Duffinghall - Thu, 28 Sep 2017 08:02:59 EST ID:tcvrvCf9 No.519063 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Just find people who enjoy doing what you do. Talk to people at the gym you regularly go to, and at the library, too.
Emma Hirringspear - Thu, 28 Sep 2017 09:57:36 EST ID:baVr2HAu No.519072 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>can just easily be modified and corrected if someone makes you aware of the inaccuracy of your life's self-evaluation and you make an honest attempt at a reappraisal.

The first thing negates the second more often than not. You can't force awareness on people, if they don't own it by themselves it won't go anywhere. Who do you think you are, that people should change for your sake? Because when you expose someone's situation to that someone, that's what you're implicitly asking. If they were able to believe that you were a santa-like figure helping them just out of the goodness of his heart, well, they'd probably not need your help in the first place, would they?

Only when that someone will realize that changing has benefits for themselves, they'll truly be motivated to change. And they're the only ones really able to convince themselves in a complete manner, since they're the only ones with all the information. Not being in their head, you're incompetent at that job, and always will be. Trying to act against that truth, will achieve momentary change at best, at the cost of diminished self-awareness. Or, even worse, them being more entrenched in their positions than before.

If you don't know how to help, just don't help. No one needs more noise.
Beatrice Drubbermedging - Fri, 29 Sep 2017 23:34:51 EST ID:tqkwh8Iu No.519111 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i've been considering this at my company as well. i played back in like middle school. seems like run and a good way to connect.

would suck of you have shit coworkers but mine are mostly chill, so maybe.

Fake problems by Jarvis Dundleman - Sat, 16 Sep 2017 13:34:08 EST ID:5KPS//to No.518824 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I'm officially selling out. Paid training for my Monday through Friday, 10 to 7 life-sentence at a mortgage company starts next week.

I've been in school for and working in music for the past few years, and it's been the the most joyous, constructive, social and romantic relationship building time in my life. I've had so many crazy awesome opportunities and met so many great people.

I'm about to turn 25 though, and soon will have to start paying for all the various bills that an independent adult life entails in America. I can make $100-300 a week with gigs, and get $500+ weekend wedding gigs like maybe 1-2 weekends a month, but I've never wanted to performing as a career and I've met too many old musicians who've done it for 30 years and I don't want that for myself. The half-baked idea//goal I had of ending up in collegiate music education requires I go into like $100k+ debt and it would all have to be private student loans at this point.

Also a masters in music and starting a doctorate wouldn't guarantee me a position anywhere, and I'd almost definitely have to move out of state if I did get a position at a university somewhere. I do not want to leave the state, as my large family and all of my friends are here.

So I'm gonna go work at a mortgage company with my brother. The salary is 24k/year, which is kinda shitty, but with commission the average person in the position I'm going into makes 70-90k after 18 months, and 150-200k after 3 years. I know the guy who makes the most in the position I'm going into, and he gets 70-90k commission checks every month.

I'm still gonna practice, play, and perform. I know that. I've always known that. I'm just not gonna live and breath music or depend on $50 dinner gigs that I drive 90 minutes to so I can eat.

I'm not going to miss parts of it. I know that. Not having to stress about hustling for gigs so I can eat will be nice. Not worrying that blowing a tire on the way to a gig means I choose between rent and a car payment will be nice. Not having to get a food service day job when a weekly gig falls apart will be nice.

I don't know. I feel so weird right now in my life. I don't feel depressed. I don't feel dread. I feel optimism tempered with expectations that are born out of this narrative of a sad old suit who regrets wasting life and passion for money and stability. I know I can be content and even enjoy my life as a business man, but I've also never done it so I don't really know shit.
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Nell Clagglechetch - Sun, 17 Sep 2017 12:33:27 EST ID:hSKTwMjR No.518844 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Fanny Niffingspear - Mon, 18 Sep 2017 13:28:28 EST ID:WV91K+Uu No.518851 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I think you are not without your vices and you maybe have an inkling of a realisation. You talk a lot about ego but seem to have a lot of self confidence in your world view being right

Family can be a pretty pathetic cop out but it can be the opposite of materialism. Giving up creature comforts, sleep, money, time to make someone else happy or give someone else a chance to be happy and being happy about that is the opposite of materialistic.

I think you have a lifestyle, it's all you can imagine living and so you've built up this narrative that everything else fucking sucks and used justifications with little to no basis to support it. I think a lot of it is right but I am surprised someone so unable to even see shades of grey can be good at a form of art. You talk a lot about bits of life being toxicity but honestly it's most coming from within.

I've seen people chewed up and poisoned by life and family and career and I've seen the opposite. Do something that creates a value you believe in and that's fine, but don't assume that just because you see no value in a thing that there is no value there for others and or even yourself (though again you'll often be right about the second thing).

I think you know this. The last part of my post makes it clear you realise you're not like most people. But I think your fatalistic the glass will be half empty, might as well tip it down the drain approach is your biggest obstacle. If you can overcome it I don't think you'll work a 9 to 5 for Montesanto Uniliver Arms co but maybe you'll find stuff you enjoy until you die.

I think I can explain why people chase money though. And I think you know it really too. Scarcity mentality and societal conditioning. If they don't grow up actually needing things, they lack something someone richer takes for granted and if they're in the super elite it's drilled into them they must retain position. It's how our economy keeps turning, demand for shit we don't need or shit we shouldn't have to fight for at all depending on your social class. I live in a 2 bed flat with another person and I can feel that conditioning, a room so I c…
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William Mecklewen - Fri, 29 Sep 2017 01:14:49 EST ID:FlHNemOO No.519091 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP here to update.

Almost through the first week of training. It's been great. I like the people and the place, and they seem to like me. Haven't really started the job in earnest, but the people who've been doing it well for a while are telling me I'll do well. I'm taking the smoke blown up my ass with a grain of salt, but feeling confident and better about my decision.

That guy is literally the top earner in the position. He's an outlier. There are hundreds of people in the sales team, and most are pulling down ~100-200k a year between salary and relatively consistent commissions. You can have a 40k comiasion check one month and a 600 dollar one then next if you blow up an account or have bad luck.

I was really incredulous at first and have been doing my homework to sate my curiosity and satisfy my suspicions.
The reality is that if you work hard, follow instructions, and develop good relationships with a client representing an account, they'll send you business every month and you're commissions just grow.

I also have some gigs this weekend, so that's nice
Shitting Summlemire - Fri, 29 Sep 2017 02:32:03 EST ID:6eOXXeo2 No.519092 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Well, I do have some experience in just working towards nothing. After I got out of high school, I went to working and did that a couple years. Working full time in my health and doing the kind of jobs that are available around here left me with no time to do really anything. I just worked, got home tired as fuck, and went to sleep. To work again. I did that for a couple years before I couldn't do it anymore. I was just saving money for the future while hating existence in the moment. But I couldn't see working 25 years, retiring, and then sitting around doing nothing at 40-50 until I died and have health issues along the way. Life is finite after all. And youth won't be on your side forever.

I guess if I had to relate it to you, life becomes absolutely dreadful for me, and I mean unbearable when I have no direction or anything to dump my mind and ambition in. I can't even begin to describe the smothering feeling of knowing you have nowhere left to go. You just have to be at work by this time and have to stay there until that time. There is no joy or anything in life. You dissolve into the grey as your bank account swells and you loose your life. It isn't anything that I want.

With doing anything artistic there is never a wall or ceiling. You just go until you die or give up. It is something that no matter how much time you sink in it, you'll never graduate or retire. It is comforting in that aspect alone. I went to a really, really, shitty school system so I'd literally just sleep through every class all day and barely even do any school work. Only when I felt bored enough to do it. I was basically retired from Middle School until I graduated. Staying up all night playing video games and sleeping through school. I guess most people haven't done it but retirement is boring. It isn't some nice leisurely picnic, it is just sit around doing nothing. Which is almost as bad as working.

Most people have an end goal to life. Or some bigger thing they can chase until the very end. Mine is some form of art. Others are owning their home or having kids. The status quo of work for 40 some odd years, buy buy buy, spend spend spend, and retire doesn't work f…
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William Gongerfotch - Fri, 29 Sep 2017 19:21:17 EST ID:WV91K+Uu No.519106 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I understand your viewpoint and understood it.

I wonder if your use of the word "you" when describing your worries about certain lifestyles is intentional or not. You can legitimately hate and worry about that lifestyle but that's really "me". When I read this and see
>you dissolve into the grey
Do you mean actually mean this?
>I feel like this would be dissolving into the grey for me
If so you're probably right. it's a risk a lot of us face. Then yeah, it's a risk. A lot of people work shitty jobs they hate and get lost but most of them could avoid to it. Disclaimer though. My life:

I work a 9 to 5 and I love it though. I do have ambition and I see what my work does and the value it adds to the world. I've still got room to move up (though I like what I do I'd like to take it up a notch or two when I've got a little more experience, and if I tire of it I could move within the organisation I work in. Every day I go in and I'm doing something that has to be done. This is not a job which will kill me either, unless I'm managing a whole service at which point I better fucking love that shit.

Also I love music and most of my favourate artists work jobs and produce music in their "spare time". Some can play to go tour and play a festival to 30000 people sometimes but they're all just amateurs and a lot of professionals are just boring. Some of these bands actually prefer it this way. I think most of them would suck if they weren't raw labours of love by hobbyists and that to me is the charm. Some of these guys are masterful artists but they're all untethered and free and I suspect most of them don't hate their day jobs either. Mine would leave me enough time to produce music if I could find any like minded people around here.

I suspect most commercially successful artists are very tightly walled in and you know it, they need to make music and they need it to sell so they can eat. In the end we all have to face a wall and some limits though. You can't be totally free. However by taking a job which ensures you have enough to live and make music and leaves you enough energy and time to play you&…
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