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Grief by David Minnerpatch - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 00:22:13 EST ID:l7oBqezi No.514841 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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What do I do about the grief and guilt of losing my girlfriend to overdose? She died on Christmas 2015, after we both cooked up a shot and shot up together. I woke up, she didn't. When I realized she had no pulse and rushed her to the hospital, which was farther than I thought, it was too late. They restarted her heart, but she was braindead.

I have struggled with this since then. It's been over a year. I was with her a year and 3 months. She took my virginity, and was my closest friend, and first love. 2015 was spent mostly with her and was the happiest year of my life, sans the end, when she died. 2016 I was an emotional wreck, constantly going through periods of sobriety and relapse, culminating in rehab the month of october. Then relapse again, constant struggle, guilt, despair.

About this time last year I stopped crying every day, reducing it to every other day. I rarely do it any more, but it happens. Usually when something brings up a memory. I have a job now, and some sort of direction with my life. I've been mostly jobless since it happened. My life has gone into a downward spiral and leveled out for a while, and now has the opportunity to rise back up again.

But I've been using every once in a while. I just got a script of a new kind of suboxone that allows me to actually sleep and function without dope. The brands I had before were formulated in a shitty fashion, i guess, and just didn't work. I'd still be sick, so I'd get dope to do the job that the suboxone wasn't doing.

I want to be clean, I do. But I don't know what to do with myself. I'm bored. I'm alone. I stopped hanging out with a lot of my "friends". They are low life morons. And my soul mate is gone.

What do I do now, /qq/? Have I gone through the 5 stages of grief yet? Is this what life is now? I'm lost. Everyone's solution is religion and spirituality. But I do not see their point any more. I used to be into all that. I feel like I'm a different person. Like I'm doomed to die alone and miserable. I can put on a face, but deep down, I despair. At least I was happy once, right?

Pic related, it was her.
8 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>
Nathaniel Duckspear - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 13:09:28 EST ID:VDWSfZ0B No.514868 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514867
>Have you seen what my life is now?
Yeah well you can't just magically life. It takes work. When you start living it won't instantly be great but the process will begin. The longer you justify not trying because you won't get immediate results the later in life you'll say "well I'm glad I did it now, better late than never, but I wish I did it sooner".

A lot of people suffer defeat and death and loss of their hopes and dreams and have to start over. You let go of your old life, you pick out anything you can hold on to that might help and let the rest be. Then you build a new one.

Easier said than done. I've not lost a lover to drugs. At the point when I lost everything and started over I had never had such a person. I had no hope and no reason to believe I would ever achieve many of the things I've since done. I lost just about everything there is to lose though.
>>
David Minnerpatch - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 13:28:31 EST ID:l7oBqezi No.514870 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514868
I know I seem like a whiny bitch, but I've actually just started back on the path of recovery. I have a job now (still have to wear long sleeves to cover my track marks) and I have suboxone that works. I have a career to work towards as well, but that's gonna take years. I've tapered down to 1/16 of a suboxone every 3 days before. I can't wait till I can just get there again, and just stop. Everything is so far off. I owe so much money and I don't have any assets. I guess things are getting better.

I just don't know who I am any more or what I want. I've gotten laid since, but that was just two times. That didn't make me happy. I've had months of clean time before, too. That didn't make me happy, but I was definitely better than I am now. I guess that's what life's about.
>>
Jenny Tootstock - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 14:50:57 EST ID:Kx4qpRck No.514887 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514870
Yeah, it's rough but your life is better for the effort. Either it'll keep getting better and eventually be good or it will take too long and you'll die before that happens but hey at the end of your life you'll not exist forever so you might as well make the best shot you can at salvaging it. Which is what you're doing. Struggle till you die and if it doesn't work out well then at least it won't be your fault for not making a sincere effort. You won't think "what if I'd tried".

If you stick at it most of the time it'll turn out alright though.
>>
Cornelius Semblefoot - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 17:07:26 EST ID:Uxdidd/B No.514888 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I can relate dawg, my first girlfriend died of an illness a few years ago. Does the shit still weigh on my mind? Fucking daily. Is it hard? You fucking bet.

But you know what, the world keeps spinning, we are all gonna meet that same fate, just in different ways at different times, it may seem insensitive but you gotta do what you need to do to make your life the best possible experience. I don't really believe in any kind of afterlife, but man I guess she'd want me to be happy, y'know?

Stay cool OP, hope this helps you out.
>>
Edward Busslehitch - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 17:23:04 EST ID:K4QTRcmJ No.514889 Ignore Report Quick Reply
its not your fault dude, she chose to shoot up. obviously her brain calculated the risks and thought "hmm i want to try this dangerous thing because i bet i will feel good!" sometimes peoples brains make incorrect calculations and they end up dead. its nothing you did. unless you forcibly dosed her against her will which is not how you told the story.


Romantic Dreams by Nigel Pecklekit - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 07:03:11 EST ID:NMVvJO9d No.514879 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Dreams are such emotional rollercoasters. Been getting into Tinder and thinking about past gfs and how ive been single for ages.
Then this morning dreamed I was with this rly cute girl. We had sex, partied, where just insanely in love and then she disappeared and I was trapped in this place, like I was prisoner somewhere. The metaphor is obvious I think. But now I feel drained, experiencing such a wirlwind of emotions and alone irl. Any experiences?
>>
Nigel Pecklekit - Tue, 28 Mar 2017 07:25:47 EST ID:NMVvJO9d No.514880 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514879
Oh wrong board. I suppose it still applies here.


Just trying my luck here.. by Lillian Trotdock - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 08:21:31 EST ID:GDur2hqB No.514862 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Feeling really down lately. Destroyed. Heartbroken. Wanting something impossible. Loving someone you can't. It's hard to do anything, I can't even leave my bed. I need someone kind enough to talk with and comfort me while I go through this hell. I'm getting emotionally unstable it feels like shit. If anyone understands what I'm going through and wants to help, please text my Kik. My chest feels so fucking heavy and it's painful.

Kik: Alexanderk7
>>
Cedric Blatherbury - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 08:41:26 EST ID:UrQwPY3E No.514863 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514862
I'm sort of going through the same thing... it fucking sucks. Write it all down here, it helped me a bit reading some comments from other people.

You (and I as well) will be better. It'll pass. There are tons of beautiful, nice, interesting people out there, and everyone is looking for someone. It's a matter of being patient and going out there and being open to whatever happens
>>
Caroline Shittingfoot - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 20:56:53 EST ID:Lsu2uvaQ No.514876 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>kik
NOPE
>>
James Drockleson - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 21:11:20 EST ID:9vn86lM+ No.514877 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514862

What drugs are you selling OP?


How to get laid by Doris Ballerlock - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 18:17:28 EST ID:n1yNxChx No.514765 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Guys I really need to get laid. How the fuck do I do this when I'm awkward at conversation and skinny
I'm looking at back page escorts man, FUCK
I'm think of getting one. I want a model to twerk on my damn face
I know that's not the path to gloriousness though. I want tobe a dude girls want to fuck, and happy and stuff
11 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>
Angus Pammerwill - Sat, 25 Mar 2017 22:29:17 EST ID:LJPk4iQ8 No.514795 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514784
Facebook
The telephone

24/7 bitching
>>
Phineas Pillerpere - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 07:18:25 EST ID:omX2BDyl No.514800 Ignore Report Quick Reply
The thing about getting laid from going out to drink and talking to girls only works for some people. I don't know what it would be like for you but there's a big chance it would never work.
>>
Jenny Mecklestetch - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 02:11:36 EST ID:4hBSKXcL No.514845 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Alright little nigga, imma help you out on this one.

First, stop wearing socks, it KILLS your game. The scent of a man's feet attract women.

Then, have a strict diet of pickle juice smoothie with whey protein for gains.

Next, start a conversation with a women. Mention how many lamps you have in your house, say you have at least 4 lamps in every room. This will plant the idea that you have a well paying job in her subconscious.

Finally, tell her about your soundcloud, mention how you make raw foot juke that has a Hanna Barbera aesthetic using Huckleberry Hound samples.

Report back when your knee deep in vagine.

That's all I got, PEACE.
>>
Hamilton Clenningnore - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 04:28:06 EST ID:ou8RtxFT No.514855 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514845

Thank you for spreading wisdom brother
>>
Hamilton Clenningnore - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 04:36:10 EST ID:ou8RtxFT No.514856 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514800

Yeah this seems to be the scenario that has for some reason captivated the young male psyche. I mean yeah a lot of people who go to those places have casual sex with each other. But that isn't where people meet most of the people they end up with and not everyone just has casual sex all the time or even desires to. I think everyone would benefit from taking a deep breath and chilling the fuck out about all this shit. OP comes across as very tightly wound. Which makes sense if he's undersexed and horny as fuck I guess but still.

You know it yourself OP, it's in the last line of your post, what you really need to worry about is getting your shit together and becoming a better and happier and more desirable person


Breaking unhealthy behavior by Archie Deddlehall - Sat, 25 Mar 2017 23:36:44 EST ID:mu8hf6Xw No.514797 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Listen here. I've gotten myself into some really bad behaviors. I've gotten myself addicted to porn, cybersex, and just taking out personal ads. Its dumb. I know its dumb. I just am handling it badly. And Ive come to this place where I know its stupid to just focus on all this sex related stuff.

Look, I have other hobbies. And sex is what i want when its a connection. Like how do I break my mind of this. I know its stupid. And Ive gotten in better control of this lately, have been masturbating less, seeking out random sex partners less. But I want to rewire myself. And I know thats hard. I want the hard answer.

I'm sorry if this is rambling. Just feel like I've made myself into something I dont want. I want to get myself back into caring better. I feel like such a nihilist lately.
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Lydia Shittinghall - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 05:35:49 EST ID:w+XXs7My No.514799 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>I've gotten myself into some really bad behaviors
>I've gotten myself addicted to:
>porn
>cybersex
>personal ads.

Wall your computer, just fucking break it.
>>
Archie Deddlehall - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 17:46:19 EST ID:mu8hf6Xw No.514829 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Kind of just had the feeling wash over me. Like I had a really poor week, got myself wrapped up in some poor decisions with my ex gf, and drank too much. Looking back this post didn't make that much sense and it sure wasn't necessary.

But I think sometimes the bad times make me appreciate life. Like yeah, a little tumble has me going a little more. It has me know Im alive.

I dont know I sort of just needed to babble it out. But Im feeling a lot better now.

Nb, thanks for whoever read this.
>>
Hannah Cloblingketch - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 04:09:46 EST ID:w+XXs7My No.514853 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yeah you should break that shit anywhere.
>>
Hamilton Clenningnore - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 04:25:23 EST ID:ou8RtxFT No.514854 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You've built a system in your brain that wants these things and will motivate you to do these things. What you have to do is create another system over that one that will motivate you in the opposite direction. That's basically what addiction is and that's how you have to overcome it.

It might help if you write out all of the reasons why these things are bad for you, and the consequences you're going to face if you don't overcome them. It's a lot easier to run away from something horrific that you know is there than it is to just vaguely think something is bad and try to tyrannize yourself out of doing it. That won't really work.

You have to decide, or come to believe in the first place, depending on who you are, that you and your time are both valuable and that you aren't going to waste your limited hours on things that aren't good for you, and that you're going to do right by yourself and not go down bad roads. Find better things to do with your time if you don't have them already.

And sort yourself out in whatever arenas you may need to in order to find someone to be with. Loneliness is probably at least one of the holes you're trying to fill. Being unhappy in general or unfulfilled for whatever reason could have something to do with it too.

Good luck friend. I've had to deal with similar things. I'm glad you're feeling better.


TL;DR at the bottom of the post by Caroline Huggledale - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 19:47:24 EST ID:Ht9rQlFm No.514835 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hey /qq/ I've been feeling super schizophrenic lately and I'm worried that I'm actually developing schizophrenia like in the movie "A Beautiful Mind", but the true story of the actual mathematician.

Do I feel like I'm losing my senses no not really some eyesight but I'd ought to just get em checked again it's been a couple years anyhow, I've gotten almost used to seeing a floater now or then not too, too bad, right?
I see things out of the fucking chorner of my eye.
black things like shadows or living void. That's not really a thing though if I can acknowledge that I'm seeing it, but it's not really there and I can't be actually seeing anything that "is there".

Is there just a test for schizophrenia I can prevent to test for the schizophrenia as a way to do something so I don't have to take anti-schizo medication cause that shit sounds worse than globalscale apocalypse to me. I'm terribly afraid of dying but I reckon I wrangle death every day, just like all you, but I'd rather not feel like I was doing some sort of compounding brain damage with "medication" - that stuff freaaks me out to an extreme.
Not saying it's better than brain surgery but I just don't know anymore these days and I feel like that's the problem. There's just no fuckin way to test things for the average person and our holistic capabilities suggest that we do know, but don't even know how we know.
You tell me how a brain works and I'll tell you how to build a quantum computer just saying these fucking robots, you want to talk about divide and conquer. Are we going to wait for robots to "be nice" to us? No, they'll uberAI right over your ass and pay your family 3million and you'll get 30k after fees and funerals.
I'm neither the first nor the last Luddite on the rock but have you REALLY thought about where the technology is going and I'm not talking implications so let's not get preachy, but rather, is this capitalist-scheme of porn and sex toys (I'm not even touching on the real smut of life here) wealth redistribution and other prescient terms -- pause for digging out -…
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Hannah Blackway - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 21:14:15 EST ID:Ht9rQlFm No.514837 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514836
I'm sorry, did you read it all the way through? Where did you get lost at? I summaried the comment at the end too. I'm not waking up tomorrow with cancer + schizophrenia, I'm more just concerned with the state of reality and am looking for some kind of truth and reality in the times forthcoming.

It's not paranoia or anxiety you've got it backwards. it's like a lens that's been scratched or roughed up- not broken but not exactly true to life- you know what I'm saying? It's a changing viewing of the world. It's not still.
I cannot recall seeing so much of these black shapes like this before. Yeah sometimes there's a black object there or it's dark, but sometimes it's 'shadows' that will disappear. I literally can't even trust my own eyes sometimes. Not to mention my ears. I type this but there's a draw of focus black shape in the corner of my eye. I look it's gone. It happens and happens again. I can't BOTHER to maintain this level of focus or attention. I'm beaten down by thoughts of bugs under my clothes every weird twitch, or the blah-dcasting of TV and E! news, I have to walk places because I can't drive.
>I don't take uppers 'cept caffeine. I took mushrooms like 5 times it was great. I smoked weed for a few years too. I don't drink heavily.

I'm not thinking I will die tomorrow, but I think about dying every fucking day. I'm afraid of death and it's not easy trying to put all this into a life and not be frozen by indecision by a fucked head or paranoia of having a mental disorder. You think I ought to walk down to the park and talk to nobody, or worse yet animals, because that shit is really fucked. I've seen homeless who couldn't say a fucking thing to you it was all just foreign, barbaric, nonsense. It's a shame but how do you reach those who are so gone and unable to acknowledge ANYTHING???
>>
Hamilton Gazzlecocke - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 21:33:59 EST ID:wjsenvux No.514838 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Do you take a lot of psychedelics? I read a bit of your post, but I'm at work and don't have the time right now to be delving.

I ask myself a bit if I'm developing some schizoid tendencies, but I've taken a lot of hallucinogenic compounds so it might just be that. My grandma has dementia, but I don't know if it r-u-n-n-o-f-t previously through the family or not. Each day is a struggle. The first time I thought to myself, "I must be crazy," was when I was 12. Now I'm 28 and have abused /psy/ and /dis/ equally heavily.

I actually took several psychology classes in college because it was the most interesting subject to me, but I still can't speak for mental illness. Diagnosing schizophrenia is a difficult patch of land to till. If there's legitimate cause for concern then the first thing you could do is tell a close family member, preferably a parent, that you think something is wrong and you want to see a psychologist, and probably therapist as well to talk about your thoughts and feelings with.
>>
Hannah Blackway - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 21:42:42 EST ID:Ht9rQlFm No.514840 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514838
Thank you it sounds like you are relating to my post thank you.
Like I said, I took mushrooms maybe 5x at most. I've never done 'cid but did 25i 3x and dxm 3rd plat like 3x. Smoked less than a pound of grass in my time. Do you believe in "permafried"? From that?? I don't think it's drugs. hope not.
>>
Barnaby Chinkintit - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 00:33:07 EST ID:Hw9YQV97 No.514843 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514840

Doubt it. If anything is wrong at all then it's likely genetic. Psychedelics are known to induce early onset of mental disorders in people who are genetically prone to them. If that were the case then you still would have developed the disorder regardless, just not so soon.

Like I said, talk to a psychologist, probably a therapist as well, they'll help you understand what's going on and see what can be done to help. I don't think I would mention any drug use. I don't know. Not sure what good or bad might come from that. Find out first if you have a history of mental illness in your family.

You might just be weird. I'm weird, and it's okay. Maybe you have anxiety or something. I think I'm bipolar because I'll have completely random mood changes out of nowhere, for no discernable reason that sweep over me like a big wave. I just think I think too much. I don't notice as much when I'm able to distract myself with drugs and music that I write.
>>
Lillian Worthingshit - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 03:35:16 EST ID:6PIOhE09 No.514851 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514835
>black things like shadows or living void.
Sound like that black spot everybody has when your eye is at a specific direction.
Not going to bother with the rest of your post, just because you are rambling like a retard doesn't mean you are schizo. Thinking you are schizo is in fact not schizo-like. I think you might be autistic or something else.


im freaking out please help by ocd - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 15:24:09 EST ID:9c403Pp8 No.514817 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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never mix sleep deprivation alcohol and weed is the lesson but here we go:

> after drinking with friends I decide to finish the night by fucking a massage parlor girl. I was a virgin and finally did it.

> before that we went to the casino. I never gambled in my life. My great grandfather lost his fortune gambling. I lost hundred bucks at slot machine.

I woke up today in sheer panic of my actions from the previous 48 hours of being awake and high/hung over:

> wore a condom but I noticed on the back of my hand below the thumb were small skin breakage with small scabs from the cold weather. I fingered her with a tip of my middle finger, it might have had a small skin crack from cold weather. I googled like crazy but seems like low risk. I kept getting soft so the condom started to get loose but It was on the whole time. I don't remember how the condom came off though which freaks me out. but I took a showever right after and washed it with soap along with my hands. I've been washing my hands quite often so it burned but then that triggered even more thoughts like I got diseased or something.

> guilt and shame. gambling aside the sex part, paying for it. regret, I don't think I will ever do it. I much rather get a girlfriend. but I can't because of OCD causing anxiety, low emotional maturity as I'm on the autism spectrum. I'm also certain I'm transgender and I really wanted to truly see if heterosex was something I might be interested in but last night confirmed it for me. I fucking hated it.

I'm going to see a therapist on Tuesday, and maybe get tests to calm my nerves. Although I had a great time cutting loose I feel like I may have been wreckless. My life is dull and lonely but once in a while I choose to make bad decisions and live through infinite OCD thoughts and anxiety that further drives me into isolation.

I seriously thought about suicide yesterday as my dysphoria and OCD thoughts and anxiety have been driving me insane. guys please help me.
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Jon - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 15:48:34 EST ID:4D3dcOG1 No.514819 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514817
You did what you did and what happened it happened. You're not the first, or the worst guy to pick up a prostitute. You're not the first or the last to gamble either, and having drunk sex with a prostitute isn't the best way to pop your cherry, and it honestly shouldn't be the reference to how it is to have sex with a girl. The first time is usually a bit clumsy for everyone.

The chances from getting AIDS from a small skin crack on your middle finger is extremely low, and I would get tested just to get your mind at ease but.. Wouldn't worry too much about it.

You're hungover which generates a lot more anxiety and depressing thoughts than usual, try not to kill yourself until you've spoken to your therapist because I'll probably help immensely to just give it a little time and gather a little peace of mind. If you feel guilty or shameful, that's understandable. Not that I'd judge you, I've gambled and paid for sex, but the past is the past and now you know that shit like that isn't for you. Curiosity is human nature, and you chose to act on your curiosity while drunk af as thousand, probably millions of people have done before you, and you did it without harming anyone!

What you did is what a lot of people call a ordinary night in Amsterdam or Vegas, you'll probably not die from some weird disease and life will keep on with you having at least gained a little insight and knowledge about the world around you.
Try thinking about the good moments you had and get a little rest, you'll feel better in the morning.
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ocd - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 16:12:37 EST ID:9c403Pp8 No.514822 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514819

my new biggest concern is spreading some disease to my family when I have dinner with them. I know it's impossible but still I just feel guilty for visiting a massage parlor and for failing to have a girlfriend.

well I'm mostly concerned with a part of my hand that probably hasn't had any contact. it's towards the wrist back of my hand. it looked like small micro cuts from stretching when you make a fist. they looked like bleeding which I noticed after washing my hands after the sex which freaked me out. THIS is my BIGGEST item responsible for my crazy OCD thought. How in the fuck did I not see this? Oh yeah I forgot sleep depriviation and substance makes awesome decisions, classic me!

while I tried to make sure the condom stayed on I used my left hand which didn't have any cuts but I freak out at the thought of touching the condom and I think it slipped off easily because I was soft. just the thought of touching the juice from her wet vagina freaks me out. I can NEVER go down on a woman after this experience. I certainly will NEVER kiss or go down on a prostitute. I did suck her breasts which freak me out....I mean what if there was blood or breast milk I didn't taste or notice anything ...it was so huge so I wanted to bite it but she stopped me because I was hurting her but I can't get hard if I don't hurt her

so I realized I'm sadistic. I wanted to choke and be rough but she kept resisting. I worry that I'm escalating due to my porn addiction. it doesn't help that I never had regular sex (Its impossible for me to get intimate) with a normal partner (i have no capacity for love due to childhood neglect).

the future is dim. I hate rejection so I can never approach a woman. I have no self esteem. and even when I had some girls that liked me I felt like pushing them away and uncomfortable.

but after this weekend, some perspective have changed. like I feel like sex is really nothing to fear anymore or really special. So much of my pain and angst came from the fact I was virgin but now that I lost it I'm like this is it? This is why I was putting women on a fucking pedestal thinking they would let me jerk off with their body?

I…
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Jon - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 16:22:09 EST ID:4D3dcOG1 No.514823 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514822
Yeah... Well, that's way beyond me dude, this is probably something you should discuss with your therapist.
>>
Nicholas Fuzzlelack - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 16:27:00 EST ID:bdrJZTtv No.514824 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514822
Yo dude. You're tripping. You're not going to catch anything from what you did, you'll be fine.

Also I'm sorry losing your virginity wasn't what you expected. But trust me, there's a reason lots of people have sex. It can be amazing, don't let this one awful experience dictate your attitude towards it for the rest of your life.
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ocd - Mon, 27 Mar 2017 00:31:20 EST ID:9c403Pp8 No.514842 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514823

I will


Odd Scenario by Esther Hobblechirk - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 17:49:42 EST ID:RgHClKBT No.514705 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So there's a couple of things going on here but I'll try and keep it as short as possible.

Basically me and a friends girlfriend are very close, and I pretty much find it impossible to imagine that everyone involved doesn't already know that I have a huge crush on her. Things get slightly more complicated when you take into account the fact I've slept (as in zzzzz sleep) in the same bed with her about 4 times, and she's also seen my dick, in a pretty weird scenario. Now, I'm no snake, so I'm 100% never going to actually do anything with this chick, for about a billion reasons not even counting the fact that she's going out with my friend. But I do really, obviously like her, and we both get on really well + she's obviously comfortable enough with me to sleep with me for some....reason...

Anyway, different side of the coin now. I got tripping with her really hard a few days ago and basically ended up being horrible to her. Difficult to explain but I was VERY fucked up and took some benzos to chill out, but benzos + acid + ket just made me say the first things that came into my head, and I was really nasty to her. Basically in my mind I was being a dick and it was funny, but essentially I was just really really nasty to her for a couple of hours and made her very uncomfortable. She had a bit of a freak out later on in the day and since then has blocked me on FB and ignored my texts because she felt like I was attacking her and being mean, and she's also someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, so she really didn't need that shit.

Not entirely sure what I'm looking for in this thread guys, I know actually trying to get with her would be the most toxic and poisonous idea in the world because she's clearly mental, but I'm also not really sure if a friendship is sustainable with her because y'know...I really like her.

If anyone is wondering, her boyfriend works away a lot of the time so he's not been around for any of these times. I'm close to him and I like to think he trusts me but I'm still very much casually in bed with his girlfriend (once again, no sex) and very much into her. I'm generally uncomfortable about just …
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Nicholas Fuzzlelack - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 09:34:40 EST ID:bdrJZTtv No.514804 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514730
This is good advice. Although it's kind of hit me with this one out of nowhere
>She may turn your friend on you which sucks but honestly you've been a bad friend.
All this time I'd been so self involved I hadn't even really been thinking about his reaction. He's going to be away for another couple of months and we haven't spoken since all this shit went down. I've no idea what he knows but neither of us have spoken online when we probably already would have by now if something wasn't up. Wow I am a dick.

One tiny little thing is making me feel a bit better about it, and I'll clarify it by putting it in a timeline. We slept together on the friday and on the sat morning was when I was horrible to her. We hung out all day saturday and I even spoke to her boyfriend on the phone for a bit and it was all cool then. So like, it wasn't as if there was this instantaneous "why are you being horrible" reaction from her, and if it comes to me and her bf discussing it I can kind of be like "yeah that phonecall happened after all the shit she's talking about". Who knows though.

I've fucked it really. It was only ever gonna end like this. Lust eh? Really fucks stuff up.

A final thing I'll add is that she was really keen to come round to my house and visit my parents. She's has a weird thing with my dad where she'll put on videos of him doing poetry (that's a thing that exists) when she's going to sleep. Now, arguably this is just one friend coming over to another friends house and having dinner with his parents, but she was saying "I'll need to stay the night too if that's cool" and it's just like... I dunno... I feel really bad admitting it but it kind of seems like if that were to happen we'd just end up sleeping together again. We kind of have this "older sister" thing going on too.

Ah well, thanks again for your advice, you're defo speaking the truth.
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Basil Clubbernedge - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 15:23:28 EST ID:AkBTpOns No.514816 Ignore Report Quick Reply
sleeping in the same bed as someone says that youre friends. thats really the end of it, as far as thats concerned

im worried youre taking it to mean something more significant. it just means she "likes" you, you know...in the most placid and sexless definition of the word

i have a few friends im willing to sleep with, the only people i really wouldnt are people that i actually just straight up do not like or trust. and not as in "trust to protect my virtue", as in "if i was in a bind is this person a decent enough sort of human being to help me out"
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Basil Clubbernedge - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 15:29:11 EST ID:AkBTpOns No.514818 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514730
and echoing this, except for the last bit..which claims a few truths...but then also turns those truths against the woman involved trying to paint her in a pretty terrible way

it seems pretty stereotypical possessive-monogamous minded to just be all "sexlessly sharing a bed with ANOTHER MAN, for SHAME!"

so shes feeding on the attention a bit. for one it doesnt say that she "doesnt give a single fuck" and two, its not to say she would actually be unfaithful....isnt it kinda minor? just sleeping in a bed with someone? possessiveness is just so unattractive. it turns into this weird judgemental jealously
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Nicholas Fuzzlelack - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 16:04:13 EST ID:bdrJZTtv No.514821 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514818
>>514816
Yeah you're so right. It's actually easier to come to terms with the fact I was over-analyzing that and giving it significance than it was when I believed it meant something and everyone was pissed off with me.

It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I just need to cool it with the chat thinking sleeping together meant anything. Which means I only need to focus on the fact I was really nasty to her.

Baby steps, eh.
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Caroline Bunshit - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 18:35:27 EST ID:M93UGXa8 No.514832 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514818
I'm a believer in one size not fitting all. Cheating is not about a certain act, or owning people, it's about feelings and expectations. It's about knowing the other person would not be okay with this.

Personally I define cheating as breaking the expectations of the relationship and doing something which you know would upset the other person if they knew. It's not about monogamistic possession but about being dishonest and breaking trust. Monogamy is currently the default/assumed terms of a relationship for most people.

. OP has already made it clear that he reckons it might upset his friend. What he did was wrong because of that. Not because of ownership or whatever. She's been in intimate situations, where she knows the effect she's having on the other person, with another dude. A lot of people would consider that unfaithful. Not because she slept in another bed per se but just because it's pretty intimate. I hate that people use sex as a line. I guess I don't see it the same way most people do, even with a regular sexual partner I don't get in bed to fuck them I get in bed to get in bed and then fucking happens as a result of everything else. That makes me unusual so I guess I have an unusual perspective on it.


Regret by Polly Turveywell - Thu, 23 Mar 2017 22:19:08 EST ID:AqKaXj/M No.514742 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Regret is realizing you spent your entire twenties worrying about whether or not you're twenties enough by constantly visiting bars and engaging in casual sex and getting in parties and everything. But then you realize that it was for the best that you didn't do all that stuff because you have issues getting way too overly attached to people.

It's not that I regret not doing that stuff, it's more like I regret not realizing that it's fine for me not to enjoy that sort of stuff. That you're not going to end up like some uptight /pol/lack whining about muh degeneracy and bitching that they'll never be able to experience nazi paradise. The real world can be shit, but it can be good too, there's no escaping it. Rather than waxing on about it I'll just take whatever I can get.

Maybe I'm just overcomplicating things and the truth is much simpler than that--I'm just getting too old to worry about stupid shit young people obsess about. I get why people enjoy those things but it's just not for me. I guess what I'm worried about now more than anything is if I'll ever be able to meet other people. One good thing about going to bars is being able to meet new people. You can't exactly meet new people at the library everyday and talk about things.

I dunno, life is fucking weird.
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Ernest Murdcocke - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 18:21:54 EST ID:wcR9wfzO No.514766 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514747

You just have to read books; you don't have to talk to anyone there beforehand. I'd suggest starting with philosophy. I read that a lot until I moved on to mathematics (I'm adequate with the theories but I still can't do any of the calculations; the sheer amount of the symbols overloads my brain).
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Isabella Sonningtadge - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 20:15:50 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.514768 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514747
I spent my 20's crying over my dead gf and now it feels like I've spent far too long completely isolated in the pit of despair to ever climb back out again. I was never great at making connections with people to start with.
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Rebecca Chuckleridge - Sat, 25 Mar 2017 01:47:43 EST ID:LJPk4iQ8 No.514772 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514743
>Moving from family.

Dayum niqqa, I need to do this shit now. Any advice for someone who gets 10k-15k a year working but wants to have an artistic career that is highly time consuming with basically no monetary reward?

I'm stuck at home because I can either live here and sort of do art. (Not really, because I'm working too damn much for it anyways.) Or work 2 jobs and live alone but basically sign off all hopes of every being able to do what I want.

Living at home is really starting to burn me out though. But I don't have to pay for insurance/housing/food/utilities. Most everyone in my family/surrounded by me are depressed and miserable fuckwads that constantly nag and bitch about everything under the sun. Along with an endless, "You're just a young fucking retard, you don't know shit. Wait until you get my age."

21 by the way.
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Nigel Sogglechog - Sat, 25 Mar 2017 05:10:24 EST ID:4D3dcOG1 No.514774 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514772
Move out, you'll be allright. Work a job, get cash, do art when you have the time. Alternatively, instead of taking a college degree you can take a loan and just work on your art 24/7 for like a year or two, this isn't recommended as I'm scared af of loans and will probably never get one.

I'm 21 and living alone, I moved out of my parents house when I was 15 and been doing -ok-. It's no luxury tho, I can't go drinking or making nice dinners or anything since I'm usually broke af, and the feeling when you've spent the last cash you had on crayons and notice that your toilet-paper situation is running dangerously low is frustrating. This is because I quit selling droogs tho, I used to have more cash than everyone I hung out with. But again, it's not so bad, I have great parents but I need my freedom man.

A lot of artists have dayjobs btw, just saying. If you have absolutely no bills, it shouldn't be hard to find a shitty apartment or shared living situation where you can live with one or two dayjobs.
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Angus Pammerwill - Sat, 25 Mar 2017 22:34:25 EST ID:LJPk4iQ8 No.514796 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514774
I dunno about a shitty apartment or suburb. A trailer would be cool if it wasn't in the trailer park. My art is loud and makes robbery more likely to happen.

Also, on the flip side, if I lived alone and more isolated, I could do my shit way more often as it wouldn't disturb others or get the cops called for noise complaints. I can't do my shit now because I live at home and people work dayjobs and sleep at night while I work whenever possible.


Why Alive ing by Polly Tootdale - Sat, 25 Mar 2017 07:21:46 EST ID:bUcdqnZT No.514777 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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What for is alive?

Am alive, so?

When not alive, so?

How alive, why? For? Hmm.
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Henry Picklehare - Sat, 25 Mar 2017 12:43:35 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.514786 Ignore Report Quick Reply
To alive, is necessary there be for? Are alive, so live.
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Phyllis Mubberhall - Sat, 25 Mar 2017 16:44:55 EST ID:peUhFd1+ No.514792 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>514786

Alive, is. Alive! Alive!

Yet, and how. And, and how alive.

To live! To what! And alive... To know.
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Barnaby Guggletog - Sat, 25 Mar 2017 21:33:21 EST ID:vNkiRJtJ No.514794 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>514792

To why? How and what alive?

Alive and not, even where.

So, death. Not to know, how.


boards.420chan.org/b/ is getting raided by normal faggots by Buttplugistan !FzAyW.Rdbg!!fhetxDLY - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 00:16:32 EST ID:99YnDzKr No.514744 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Take shelter here in /qq/ and have a good cry with me.
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Isabella Sonningtadge - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 20:13:10 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.514767 Ignore Report Quick Reply
It's weird that suddenly there are a ton of racist conservative anti-drug posters there now. It's a fucking drug board. How did we attract people who call drug use degeneracy?
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Phineas Feblingshaw - Fri, 24 Mar 2017 23:12:02 EST ID:WCiWyIpM No.514770 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514767
This is literally what you're saying
>make board dedicated to raping children
>initially is full of likeminded child rapists
>starts to attract people who are against raping children
>wonder why
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James Pittford - Sat, 25 Mar 2017 02:07:32 EST ID:zbKXnohS No.514773 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514770
Except you cretins disregard the pedo*chans floating around invariably.

Nope, actually doing a public service is too much for you, you'd rather just shitpost from your bullshit moral high ground.
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Beatrice Giddlekug - Sat, 25 Mar 2017 08:08:24 EST ID:Cj19AF5d No.514781 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514744
go to one of the drug boards you will get distracted. Which is the sole purpose of this site
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Eugene Fanway - Sat, 25 Mar 2017 11:26:47 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.514785 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Maybe the board is growing. It used to be kinda /rk9/ in here a few years ago. Now there are real-ish problems


Remeber the Mario 64 Sand Planet by Beatrice Giddlekug - Sat, 25 Mar 2017 07:52:34 EST ID:Cj19AF5d No.514778 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I been thinking about this place lately and it's got me all pissed off. Like remember when you spawn and you have to grab that block that bounces you a few times face first. And then you can walk up the pillars (or surf up with a turtle shell) totally vertical like wtf, and then the birds might steal your hat super lame. And then if you manage to get inside the pyramid, there is all those monkey bars to climb and then you can find the boss made out of stone in his coffin and he looks like hes break dancing.. Reminds me of when the boss from starfox says "DESTROYS ALL ENEMIES. YOU ARE AND ENEMY"

All the while that mario song is playing... so up-beat like your'e having a good time, but in reality you are pissed as fuck because the last two stars for each level is hard as fuck to obtain. Fuck that snow level where the snow men blow you off the hill and and make you statr over on that treadmill of ice blocks. Fuck that tini big world with the opposite levels are back to back where that fake camera man comes out and tries to fuck with you. Fuck that little rabbit running around and you have to catch it that little bastard wasted my whole life age 8-14.


So Im hoping you guys can help me out, Please tell me what makes you feel better when you think about this type of shit.
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Henry Picklehare - Sat, 25 Mar 2017 09:12:51 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.514783 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514778
i drink until im belligerent


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