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What the fuck? by Polly Blishchig - Sun, 27 Aug 2017 03:19:15 EST ID:PgrecW5K No.518372 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1503818355453.png -(15911B / 15.54KB, 777x579) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 15911
Think I got molested in the psych ward on a massive dose of something while I was sectioned?

Have I gone mad?
1 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>
Doris Hoggleway - Sun, 27 Aug 2017 18:03:09 EST ID:5Y/CcDM2 No.518390 Ignore Report Quick Reply
http://bfy.tw/DbUu

Yeah its kind of a problem.

If I were you I would file a complaint, apply for legal aid, sue, win, and buy a house.
>>
Polly Blishchig - Sun, 27 Aug 2017 19:39:15 EST ID:PgrecW5K No.518391 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518390
As if that's going to happen. I have no proof. I had a suicide attempt in there, I woke up to them sticking a needle in my arm iirc. I tried to thrash to get them away but they were too strong. Injected me with god knows what. Perhaps that was the end of it. Swear I heard one of them say "you're getting molested".

false memory?
>>
Lillian Tootcocke - Sun, 27 Aug 2017 20:15:28 EST ID:JKkiuuyh No.518393 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518391
You maybe hearing them say a word is a flimsy basis.

I mean even if it's not a false memory that doesn't mean they did it. Or maybe the memory is real but you misheard them? If you have any other signs of molestation though, it might be different.

There's a lot of room between being completely mad and it being real. Even if it didn't happened that doesn't mean you're crazy.
>>
Nicholas Greenshaw - Sun, 27 Aug 2017 22:48:44 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.518396 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518372
Damn, I bet you totally could if you were fucked up and had no morals. I bet there's some pedo somewhere drugging up little crazy girls who come in for psychosis and then molesting them. If they remember anything then they would just think it was the drugs or the psychosis, or other people would. Hard to say with these things. Your interpretation of reality is a fickle thing.
>>
Shit Fennerlark - Mon, 28 Aug 2017 01:40:52 EST ID:buPgFUOh No.518398 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518391
>I woke up to them sticking a needle in my arm iirc. I tried to thrash to get them away but they were too strong

I've had this same experience in a psych ward, they switch shifts in the middle of the night and the new doctors come on and order new blood tests and meds and they just dont even ask or wake you up or nothing, you just wake up with all these big russian dudes in smocks around you and a needle in your arm sucking out/ putting in whatever the fuck

I've also had really realistic/crazy/wierd hallucinations while in the psych ward and trying out medications. Flashing lights, children playing, winking pictures, and consistent construction noises all while none of those things were actually happening.

The good news is that there will be a record of whatever they injected you with that you can access and see if it might've caused hallucinations or a black out. Sexual assaults in psych wards are very common but I think its very rare to be perpetrated by the medical professionals, usually its other patients and guards and janitors and stuff

Also I guarantee you that they had a camera at least on the hallway with your door that would prove if anyone came and went when you were dosed. You have a right to access these sorts of records unless you live in like khajiristan or some shit


How does it feel to be forgiven`? by Nicholas Blathercocke - Wed, 23 Aug 2017 19:46:50 EST ID:RvIpuKgy No.518285 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I chose to forgave one of my school bullies because he will never do it for me. I did something about it.

He replied with aggression. I was baffled of the results. I have never felt how to be forgiven, how does it feel like?
3 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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John Dartbanks - Thu, 24 Aug 2017 15:39:41 EST ID:O56/L9dm No.518317 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Why would he be happy about it? He doesnt feel guilt.
He thinks youre a little bitch thats why he bullied you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3H0guC-2q4U
>>
Fuck Subblewater - Thu, 24 Aug 2017 15:41:12 EST ID:LVnjF9De No.518318 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518308
>When you said "chose to forgive" did you just approach him out the blue and tell him?

Yes. I was tired of thinking about him all the time. He is a waste of life and me forgiving him helps me to move on with my life.

Yes, I might be insincere as you can sense from my writing. I did listen to my heart and I felt good about it.
>>
Henry Dullynut - Sat, 26 Aug 2017 04:41:07 EST ID:JKkiuuyh No.518349 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518318
Yeah you kind of had his reaction coming. When you forgive someone you do it for them. It's an act of kindness.

You let go, and that's fine. That's not just fine OP that's great. Realising that a person is not worth the energy it takes to resent them is a great step. It's not the same as forgiving, it's accepting you don't want anything to do with them and just cutting them out but just letting go once they can't hurt you. You didn't forgive your bully, you went looking for an apology. You didn't get one. You did it for you and he saw through that.

You did however attempt to move. Maybe that's fake like your forgiveness but I hope it's not. I hope you find peace realising some people just aren't worth worrying about. Everyone fucks up so maybe they're good people who you got the worst of or maybe they're shit but if they're removed from your life it doesn't matter and so why concern yourself with that? You have better things to do.

I sort of bullied someone once and if he said he forgave me I'd thank him and say it seemed like he did a long time ago (we were sort of friends for a while) but that I was sorry for what I did anyway. It's a reminder that something I could easily dismiss as something I'd not do I did without even thinking that this was a thing I was doing. That I have to try to break away from what the crowd do from time to time, even if it's just to take a step out, realise they're okay and rejoin them and that even with that in mind I will fail in the future. Which is why I said maybe you just got the worst of your bully. We're all a bit shit. Anyway I haven't forgotten how I fucked up. But this other guy sounds like he's not realised what he did was wrong yet. Maybe he never will. Just move on. He is a waste of your time.
>>
Cedric Dinderbud - Sat, 26 Aug 2017 13:40:09 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.518354 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Straight up dude, he probably just forgot you existed. You probably never mattered to him in the first place. So when he responded to you with aggression, it's probably because he never gave a second thought to what he was doing, and never cared how you felt about it or how it affected you. What I'm saying is, you're pain in this journey, and the cross you carried over it, probably never even registered as significant in his life.
>>
Hannah Breffingdock - Sun, 27 Aug 2017 16:29:27 EST ID:cTlLv5aK No.518388 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518354
I feel pity for him. He doesn't seem to be happy with his life. In some way I would like to call him and ask how is he going?


Is it me or is everyone around me depressed? by John Hassleridge - Sat, 26 Aug 2017 20:30:05 EST ID:ia37Z8cL No.518361 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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This isn't going to be a rant about any current socio-political climate or ideological platitudes. It's more /qq/ oriented because having been battling with depression and bi-polar disorder all my life i've always had a very cynical, suspicious outlook, but when i would self destruct i used to be able to pull myself out of it by forcing my awkward way into "normie" land so to speak, or rather just socialize and not isolate, be healthy, care about appearance etc. But as of the last year i experienced a series of shitty, bad-luck, and even tragic experiences that really set me back a bit.
Now mind you that at this time all this shit started going down around the elction and the world but i was for the first time (as someone obsessed with political science, military history, history of political uprisings and so on) disengaged and detached from it all because of what was happening in my immediate life. Cut to now and i'm in the midst of this terrible depression and am almost completely isolated, which i've dealt with before, but whats different is that everyone i try to reach out to is in the midst of depression because of the state of the world, our society at large, and just everything, and it becomes harder to hear their suffering too echoed upon mine. I talked to an old friend from high school who lives across the country now and is in a similar but different boat as me and he simply said "i think we're just getting older and the world is getting worse". And whats funny is we exist on pretty polar opposite ends of the political spectrum, but we both just feel a sense of dread and hopelessness towards where society is going. People i know are scared, angry, tired, sad, or just numbing themselves out in ego or the usual drugs. I guess i just wanted to vent that, because i really want too and am trying to slowly pull myself out of this rut but whenever i try to find solace in my friends and family i just feel like im watching them go through the same motions. But then again plenty of people on earth are happy, and living great lives, but it's just all on instagram now, idk
>>
Jack Sushmon - Sun, 27 Aug 2017 00:46:06 EST ID:qzNA9/lB No.518370 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518361
I feel the same way, OP. Depression and bipolar are part of me too and I think that after a while one can see the depressive thought-patterns leaking off people. Is really sad. Society has always been towards this direction. I think you could find the work of Nietzsche interesting. He predicted a lot of what we are experiencing now. However, his thought has been really twisted in a lot of ways and it can be hard and frustrating to understand, mainly because he is more of a "critic of philosophy" than a philosopher.
>>
William Pittson - Sun, 27 Aug 2017 06:09:21 EST ID:zzgztlb9 No.518374 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518361
A lot of people lead shallow/shitty lives. It's a sad fact of life. Make yours count. Find meaningful ways to do stuff that feels real and try to help others around you.
>>
John Hassleridge - Sun, 27 Aug 2017 06:18:09 EST ID:ia37Z8cL No.518375 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518364
One example i forgot to mention is the sheer amount of depression, nihilism, and suicide memes and jokes you see now on social media or any other normie platform really. I know i'm not insane for noticing how it's suddenly wayy more acceptable to be depressed or even suicidal and be open about it.
>>
John Hassleridge - Sun, 27 Aug 2017 06:33:09 EST ID:ia37Z8cL No.518376 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>518370
That's a good way to put it, its like the despair pipes are leaking everywhere i go. I actually read Beyond Good and Evil back in college which really helped reinforce some of my own beliefs on morality. Lately i've been reading/watching anything dystopian because i feel like i had this expectation as a child that i would be living in one by the time i was in my mid 20s but i never could have imagined it would be this subtle, boring, shitty, lonely and undeveloped. I used to imagine living in some squalid cyber-punk metropolis with a manic-pixie girl whose an enemy of the state or something.
>>
John Hassleridge - Sun, 27 Aug 2017 06:42:55 EST ID:ia37Z8cL No.518377 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518374
Still OP, as I've gotten older i have found that this right here is as close to truth as i may ever get. I used to balk at this kind of advice as a shitty punk teenager/young adult but the last time i really pulled a 180 on my life and started to feel well adjusted and happy it was by doing exactly what you said. It just seems more difficult right now because everyone around me, even the ones who are living meaningful lives are struggling with the fear of the future and instability, but in history people have always managed to overcome those times so...


Helpless and stuck with career and money, please give me some insight by Nigel Turveyfoot - Fri, 25 Aug 2017 04:21:42 EST ID:vph+fhmT No.518331 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I'm going to type out my entire situation. This is probably going to be very long but bear with me. I am a 25 year old male that has lived with a roommate for a few years. I'm going to completely go over my situation and how I got here, I need budget advice desperately.

First of all, I'm on probation until the first week in January. Its like almost 3/4 of the way over, and i barely see my PO, but it fucking sucks regardless. On top of this. I job hop alot. Let me give you the run down on what my job situation was this year. I started Probation in January.

Beginning of January-Worked at shitty restaurant, had been there for a few months. Making minimum wage and in school, they kept promising I was going to become a server but kept me as a busser. I leave to go work at a gas station.

Mid Jan-Mid april. I'm working $9 an hour at a gas station. My bosses are 2 neckbeards, one of them has a CP offense. A mentally retarded kid from highschool works here and harasses me all day. Also, one of the neckbeards 14 year old niece works here at the subway, everyone badgers me all day long. Around this same time, I find out i'm getting sued for 5 grand because of something relating to my probation. I get a real job, drop out of school, and stop showing up here.

Mid april-beginning of june. I'm working as a surface grinder, making $14.50 an hour. "Machinist apprentice" the craigslist ad said. My impression upon getting hired was that I was going to be working with CNC machines, what I'd like to be doing. When I get their, its "We're gonna stick you on the surface grinders for a year or 2 and if you stick around we'll teach you CNC". I learn nothing, there are many explosions and near death incidents during this time at work, I did 10 grand to a machine. Somehow, I didnt get fired. One night, my buddy was drunk driving and I was also drunk in the car and went to jail (cant drink on probation), I was out of work for like 3 days without calling, didnt have a job after this. I had just got a loan for a car a week before I lost my job.

Beginning of june-Mid July. I'm delivering pizzas. 6 days a week, 13 hours a day for 2 of those days. I start racking up miles on my car, about 5000 in one month. I say fuck this and quit to get a real job, too many miles on my car and barely getting by. I'm not even receiving a wage here, $15-30 for gas plus the delivery fee and a tip, under the table. Its run by some shady mexicans.

Around mid july I started working with this staff agency. They sent me to one place one day that did industrial weaving. I didnt make my rate but it was my first day and I had never had a job like this before. They called the staff agency and said I wasnt welcome back.

So a week later I started at this sheet metal shop. I'm on "Shake out" when they pull all of the pieces out of the metal skeleton and file and stack them. Its hard labor, but i'm good at it. I'm worried though, theres talks of layoffs and i'm only through a temp. The company had a $60,000 fuck up this week, 1 guy got laid off, theyre saying this other kid is getting laid off. My bosses say i'm a good employee and they'll try to prevent me from losing my job but I dont think theres really much they can do. For right now I'm fine but mid october is when things are supposed to start slowing down, also the same time i'm supposed to get hired on. For right now, theres some overtime. But I have to beg for it, and it started today, and its only 10 hours per week. I'm afraid of my PO getting mad that I job hop so much.
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
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Fucking Buddlebork - Fri, 25 Aug 2017 12:29:27 EST ID:JKkiuuyh No.518339 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518331
That's complicated. Sort your bills into stuff you can change in the short run, even a bit, ones you can change in the medium run and ones that are long term deals. As far as paying the credit card goes, that would be first priority beyond getting by, but if you just max it again you'll be in the same debt, it might be better to just save the grand if it takes a month or two longer. Audit every expense like phone internet and food and look at what you can do cheaper without seriously affecting your life. That adds up. If you are eating ready made food your are absolutely wasting money, you can eat cheaper and better, it won't be quite as tasty and will need more effort but if you can plan a meal plan and purchases it will save time. Lots of stuff is affordable in bulk and some stuff is perfectly nutritious if it's frozen, but like frozen spinach not frozen pizzas.

I would get financial security and a little cushion before rhinoplasty too. Instead of sitting in debt sit on a cushion of security before you start saving for things like rhinoplasty. If you wait a bit longer before buying everything you'll avoid debt. Debt costs money. If you can skip it by buying the things 2 or 3 months later you'll be saving lots of money in the long run. Stop spending money you don't have. I mean I know it's easier said than done but you're already trying to plan new ways to do it.
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James Hillyhood - Fri, 25 Aug 2017 13:55:09 EST ID:5tVGvd6W No.518341 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You need more money to get out of this hole. I suggest doing telemarketing or door to door sales for a cable company which pay good wages based on how successful you are. I don't have a college degree but it's okay because there is no college degree for sales, yes you have to hit your quotas or you're fired but you can get a sales job without any experience. Write your resume well and Apply for better jobs because you can't accept jobs like you have been where your income simply isn't enough. Good luck to you.
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Jarvis Snodhood - Sat, 26 Aug 2017 22:05:58 EST ID:/brn2RiX No.518367 Ignore Report Quick Reply
here some wisdom in a song, it got some budget advice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRFkjxSLyaI


I am not in love with my girlfriend by Walter Beffingman - Thu, 24 Aug 2017 20:21:09 EST ID:Xv4yfH/8 No.518321 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've been going out with my girlfriend for 7 months (and living with her for around 2) and I don't love her. I don't know if I ever truly have to be honest. I feel like the whole going out process went too fast and shouldn't have happened in the first place. We met on tinder and never stopped seeing each other after our first date. She is my first girlfriend and the first girl I've had sex with (at 21). The more I get to know her, the less I want to stay with her. I feel like we are very different people with differing views on pretty much everything. Nonetheless, I've always been really nice and caring to her (even when she isn't to me). Because of this, she loves me a lot and I'm scared of what she'll do if I break up. She can be very intense and I fear she might try to kill herself. I feel like an absolute asshole and an idiot. What the fuck do I do?
7 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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Henry Dullynut - Sat, 26 Aug 2017 14:22:05 EST ID:JKkiuuyh No.518355 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518353
Yeah but she's not threatening anything and doesn't deserve to be dropped in the most brutal way. If OP is firm but fair and she does something dumb it's on her. if he's needlessly cruel as a guy who is clearly a bleeding heart it will bother him.

Also if I was Dave I would stop talking to Walter. Walter would soon have no friends because if someone takes that sort of attitude then that just makes you think. What if they abused her? Why speak ill of the dead?

Nah, OP should be decisive and firm but not unkind. If bad things happen it's not on him but don't be a shit about it. Having said all that there's no dragging out or slowly breaking up. If someone just doesn't end it, then it usually means one of two things, they actually haven't accepted the outcome or they're going to use you for sex until they find someone else.
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Fuck Findleman - Sat, 26 Aug 2017 14:55:05 EST ID:bJ2LE8mc No.518356 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518355
Ya got tha names reversed fam.

It was dark humor. While I'm certainly heartless enough to do something like that, I know it is still incredibly fucked up. I seriously doubt most people would brag about causing a suicide.
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Henry Dullynut - Sat, 26 Aug 2017 15:55:43 EST ID:JKkiuuyh No.518358 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518356
No, Walter is talking to Dave saying "I'm so awesome a girl died" so yeah Dave would run out of friends.
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Molly Farringladge - Sat, 26 Aug 2017 20:57:20 EST ID:JKkiuuyh No.518362 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518358
Walter would have run out of friends. Damn man, you're confusing me as well now.
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Jarvis Snodhood - Sat, 26 Aug 2017 21:58:17 EST ID:/brn2RiX No.518366 Ignore Report Quick Reply
what if we are all dave


Please reply by Help - Fri, 25 Aug 2017 03:08:29 EST ID:CL/VT/Nm No.518330 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So me and my girl were cuddling while falling asleep she had her hand on my chest (note: we just made up from a heated argument earlier) as i was falling asleep i started feeling like it was harder to breath (we had been cuddling for some time and my mind was racing but i felt like i was about to fall asleep) i noticed her arm was still on my chest and her fingures were touching my neck and so I zoned in on my breathing and felt it becoming harder and harder so I gasped upwards (as if to wake from a bad dream)
I've had sleep paralysis before so I have to ask is it possible that ur air could be cut off by a couple of figures or did I have sleep paralysis?
>>
Cornelius Cabberspear - Fri, 25 Aug 2017 09:44:04 EST ID:nvypr5d8 No.518338 Ignore Report Quick Reply
figures? what the fuck
>>
Betsy Hizzleson - Sat, 26 Aug 2017 15:10:19 EST ID:cCmYLlRO No.518357 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518330
sounds like you just freaked yourself out, she couldn't really cut off your breathing just by laying her sleeping fingers on your neck. chill out yo, control your breath.
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Fucking Pibberfield - Wed, 13 Sep 2017 11:05:24 EST ID:FwheuJ8x No.518763 Ignore Report Quick Reply
She's a witch


Relationship question by Insacure - Thu, 24 Aug 2017 12:54:58 EST ID:CL/VT/Nm No.518303 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hey guys, I don't really know how to start this so here it gos.
My fiance and I have been together for 6 years now an we have been living together almost the whole time.
But this last couple months she spends most of her time on a phone game that she stopped playing.Then got a group of people from her guild to play ark with her.
So here's the thing it's a mixed gender group ANF her old guild name was orgy. We hardly ever have sex and she rarly pays me any attention due to the headset and her guild mates on the other end.
I'm guessing it's just paranoia but I have mild aspergers and am conserned that she is trying to move on or somthing .
Should I be conserned?
I bought her flowers and chocolates today and I got a thanks babe with out being looked at (the voice had a sincere tone) but isn't that hug worthy...I don't do things like that too often.
4 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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Insacure - Thu, 24 Aug 2017 13:24:24 EST ID:cxVEJX4y No.518310 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518309
Yellers* or stern talkers*
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Fanny Droblingtire - Thu, 24 Aug 2017 18:06:13 EST ID:JKkiuuyh No.518319 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518309
Well you've got to fix it. Don't marry until you're happy. Maybe it'll be a blip and will return to normal soon but don't marry someone who won't even cuddle you.

I don't know if letting her know you appreciate she's trying will help. If she genuinely cares it will. If she doesn't she'll just use that as a sign that it's enough and will do just that when asked. If that happens hit the eject button.
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Priscilla Packlesotch - Fri, 25 Aug 2017 20:45:40 EST ID:rTc6Y8hd No.518345 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518303
Best bet is to have a real conversation, try to break the ice first by easing into the conversation, have is start about sex and then move onto your concerns, talk through it.
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Hugh Bedgewut - Sat, 26 Aug 2017 03:01:19 EST ID:F6Ba7NYw No.518346 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Jesus heck. If that's mild, Ghost peppers are like Bell peppers in your world.

Semi-joking aside, just go out a damn lot and if you have the means get a bike.
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Samuel Clungerpotch - Sat, 26 Aug 2017 04:33:46 EST ID:/brn2RiX No.518348 Ignore Report Quick Reply
these are very bad signs. no sex, ignoring, intentional occupation of time with meaningless distractions, seeking interactions with anyone but you, the best hope here is that she is a passive aggressive drama queen and is acting this way hoping to get a particular response from you (mind games) which personally i would never marry. that is the best scenario. worst, she stopped caring for you long ago, and is building plan b and plan c in prep to bail.

my suggestion would be: try to do the stuff she likes you dont normally do. ask her to go jetski, or horseback riding, or watch jousting. something exciting and unusual where you can revel in the novelty together. if she accepts, and becomes happy and changes the behaviors, you know she was just acting out to get certain behaviors from you. if she refuses, lol game over


Suicide is the only answer by Henry Fammlebot - Mon, 21 Aug 2017 13:20:43 EST ID:7wFM3fcG No.518230 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I don't even know where to begin. I was recently terminated from my job after a black coworker punched me in the back of the head, then repeatedly pummeled my face until I lost consciousness.

When I woke up, everyone just stood and stared. I think one of the cooks from the back made a half-assed attempt to help me to my feet. The smug, self-satisfied looks I saw said it all: fuck you whitey, you got what you deserved.

Fast-forward month, and I'm $40k in debt from the ER visit, head scans, and the reconstructive surgery I needed to rebuild my face (the guy who assaulted me liked to wear rings). Everywhere I go, I see that same smug, self-satisfied look. All I see is hate. And worse? I have no friends at that restaurant, and everyone has his back, and all of his friends are saying I called him a jolly african-american.

I grew up in a dysfunctional family, bullied and abused at home and at work, and told I deserve it, and honestly, I can't take it anymore. I can't do this anymore. I know HOW scapegoats repeat their role, and I know the generalized rules for stopping it, but no matter what I do I always end up in these situations.

So now all I can think about is catching a train, you know what I mean? A few hundred or thousand or whatever volts and then get run over and that's it, it's done. Suicide is the only way out, because the alternative is staying alive to continue to be used as a punching bag.

Whenever I hold my head high, people knock me down, and whenever I'm down, they make sure I stay down.

I am weak. I am useless. I want to die. There is no justice in this world.
12 posts and 1 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
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Matilda Shittingwill - Wed, 23 Aug 2017 20:01:41 EST ID:afBM6RPi No.518286 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Hey, OP here, and a generalized thank you to everyone who replied, even the tough love and/or troll crowd; at least you acknowledged that I exist, and that means...well, pathetically, it means a lot to me.

>>518251
>we don't even know how to talk about our feelings
it's true, and as a man who is extremely emotionally sensitive and empathic (not like, psychically, I just mean I can read people's moods better than most) it is fucking brutal out there. I tried to act like everything was fine, even developed a decent sense of humor, but it was all just an act to keep people from hurting me. And being funny only makes it hurt more when you try to be real with people, and they just laugh because they think you're being edgy.

I did recently open up to some friends about the suicidal thoughts I've had since I was 9. I was surprised at their complete shock; from my p.o.v., it seems obvious as fuck. It did make me feel better to get it off my chest, and to be taken seriously, so at least there is that.

I know, here I am talking about my feelings after that macho manly quote I gave, what a hypocrite, right? But it's the only option I have at the moment; the alternative is going full warlord and going out in a blaze of glory.

>>518270
I appreciate your reply, but I'm going to have to get back to you on this one lol

>>518271
Thanks man, I'm trying. I know I need to pull my head out of my ass and remember all the good things. I try to think positive, but due to lies, manipulation, and general cruelty from my mNPD and fBPD, I am neurotic as fuck and incapable of trusting others. I feel so pathetic and beaten, and the one word my mother loved to label me with reverberates through my skull all the time: USELESS.
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Matilda Shittingwill - Wed, 23 Aug 2017 20:14:32 EST ID:afBM6RPi No.518287 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>518270
Okay, I got it. I totally know where you're coming from with this; I recently watched the documentary "[Quiet] We Live in Public" and it was such a downer. It seems like you would know about such a film already, but if not, check it out. Bad times...

I think about raiding media outlets, slitting throats and breaking skulls of every MSM affiliate, about setting off EMPs and bringing down the electronic prison we're building around ourselves, and generally being a fucking dick to society at large. All the fucking time. I've spent an unhealthy amount of time collecting information I would use to live like a god - from poisonous plants and animal venom I could use against enemies, to building siege engines (I always loved Pioneering merit badge), and generally, how to rebuild from the ground up using the old ways.

But let's be real, I'm only one man and I have to accept that I'm not special, and need to get over it because others have just as much of a right to not be treated like subhuman garbage by some asshole like me who cannot get his shit together.
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Sophie Girringdit - Wed, 23 Aug 2017 23:47:37 EST ID:/brn2RiX No.518290 Ignore Report Quick Reply
sounds like you need to learn martial arts
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Emma Crigglebet - Thu, 24 Aug 2017 20:27:15 EST ID:I/kjV10t No.518324 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518290
The sad thing is, I already know them lol. We were both in the restaurant, on the clock, when it happened. He's black, I'm white; everything was stacked against me.

Every battle begins in the mind, and there was no world I could imagine where this asshole was dumb enough to hit me at work, and cowardly enough to strike me in the back of the head. Believe me, I'm talk myself out of hunting him down.
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Emma Crigglebet - Thu, 24 Aug 2017 21:10:31 EST ID:I/kjV10t No.518326 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518290
And you know what, even though I know you must be trolling, I should add something here and now that I cannot say out loud during the court proceedings that begin tomorrow. My whole life, I have been bullied, yet rarely did it come to blows. I have had a long-standing fear of large groups of people with ill will towards me, and it had grown to a terrible anxiety, so that no matter how much I worked out, how much I trained, I was always neurotic and afraid when confronted with a potential brawl.

Now? Well, anxiety is the fear of things that haven't happened, and getting my ass kicked so thoroughly, with no way that I could have done anything different has actually snapped me the fuck out of it. No anxiety, no fear, just a sort of acceptance.

Hahaha, oh man, that feels good to get off my chest. I'm actually looking forward to getting into a fight again, just to see how well I can perform in this new frame of mind.

Fuck it, I'm not supposed to work out for awhile, but I'm going to go hit the punching bag in my basement for awhile. And then I have to practice looking sad and scared so I don't give the wrong impression in court lol.

Thanks for listening guys, I fucked all your mothers


hadnt seen ex for 2 years by Edward Fedgewill - Thu, 24 Aug 2017 07:22:16 EST ID:uNm7ViEe No.518300 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Suddenly see them, its almost like they seen me first and turned away and talked to someone and as soon as i seen them i froze up completely and then basically briskly walked in the opposite direction.

Our issues were totally resolved, we both left the relationship very amicably, yet we cant even pass each other in a hall or say hello to one another??

I dont get it, i was totally over them, yet here i am getting frozen up and confused and them seeing me apparently caused them to turn away, so....help?
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Sophie Girringdit - Thu, 24 Aug 2017 14:46:05 EST ID:/brn2RiX No.518314 Ignore Report Quick Reply
lizard brain remains
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William Facklenet - Thu, 24 Aug 2017 14:52:20 EST ID:IpE3lpRF No.518315 Ignore Report Quick Reply
don't understand people saying hi to exes, they're exes for a reason, why would you even interact with them anymore?
> i was totally over them, yet here i am getting frozen up and confused and them seeing me apparently caused them to turn away
looks like neither one of you are over yourselves


My sister is a CUUUUUUUNT by Skoop Fudge - Wed, 16 Aug 2017 17:57:41 EST ID:14JW+CrP No.518107 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Me and my sis are both 25-30. We are NOT roommates.

My sister has a habit of doing really shitty things to me and then pretending they never happened, or that I'm the one who did something wrong. Like once-twice a year maybe.

The last time was a month ago. She was being a complete and utter cunt to me (anyone would agree, but I'm not going to say what it is for privacy) by wronging me, then getting hateful when I confronted her about it. she Said she wasn't going to give me any sympathy for feeling wronged, and didn't want to talk to me for the next 2 weeks and I replied I wouldn't contact her for longer than that if needed (which I meant = indefinitely until she apologizes).

Now, a month later, she texts me a photo of her in a hospital bed Out of the fucking blue. No accompanying text saying why she's even in the hospital. I actually knew the real reason but I knew she didn't know that I knew (sorry for that cliche) so the fact that she didn't put any text saying why she was there feels to me like she's being manipulative or seeking sympathy. Her reason for staying in hospital is abortion. Nothing serious, just from fucking her BF without contraceptives. This also happened to her last year while dating another dude.

So yeah, I'm going to write her a very ernest and very angry letter, but I want to hear others thoughts on this. She is a person that will vehemently deny doing anything wrong when she's done bad stuff. She turns the issue around and blames her "victim" etc. I don't imagine it will be any different this time. I will also tell her that I have no sympathy at all for her getting pregnant and then being depressed (as my parents told me) about having to abort. Play the game? fucking deal with the rules. I know she will get super angry and try to make me the oppressor, as always. Anyone have any experiencee with similar situatoins?
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Doris Punderhood - Sun, 20 Aug 2017 14:55:29 EST ID:cXotrNbY No.518206 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518107
They say it's bad practice to diagnose from a distance, and I am certainly not a psychiatrist, but your sister exhibits the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder. That may be of some interest to you. For your edification: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder
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Angus Sebberhone - Mon, 21 Aug 2017 02:13:27 EST ID:/brn2RiX No.518212 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518200

define baby
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Simon Brackledale - Tue, 22 Aug 2017 07:36:55 EST ID:AkBTpOns No.518254 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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its nice that you care enough about your relationship, in spite of everything, enough to bother writing a letter

i see behaviour like that and i just think "fuck that person forever". its obviously manipulative. I guess im just fragile like that. I dont see why take a risk on the possibility of someone changing when right now they know exactly what theyre doing, and willingly do it.

Theres a reason behind everything i suppose, and it may not be the reason you first suppose. i guess thats the thing about unhinged or erratic people.

its easy to write them off as "fucking goddamn crazy" when yes, they *are* doing crazy things, but its for reasons to do with often anguish over indescribably perplexing scenarios; things they have issue with that they are either unconscious of, or dont even know how to begin going about solving. When faced with a dilemma like that, its easy enough for someone of any age or disposition to revert to a kind of childlike stage of frustration-born irrational rage, anguish and malice.

Theres a specific way to talk to everyone, i have found. Some are so volatile that you need to approach dialogue/confrontation in the most painstakingly subtle way as not to flip the switch.
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Fucking Seffingmadging - Wed, 23 Aug 2017 16:56:59 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.518283 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518200
Well it's a good thing you're never going to get an abortion then, your hands will remain free of the sinful blood stains of any unborn babies and you can rest easy knowing that God burns them alive for eternity in a lake of hellfire and brimstone, but at least it isn't your fault that any of them wound up there.

Not everyone can be a saint though, the rest of us sinners are going to hell anyway with all the unborn babies so really we just spared them earthly toil and suffering for a more refined torture that perfectly suits our flawed and evil nature.
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Jack Muddlespear - Wed, 23 Aug 2017 22:11:57 EST ID:JsQi4/8G No.518288 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>518107
I COMPLETELY understand what you are going through tbh.

I posted a thread on here a longass time ago about my sister. I got glimpses of what your sister has done to you.

I've come to the conclusion that these are behaviors from very low self-esteem people that are narcissists, if that makes sense.

So in my opinion tbh. Write your sister a " goodbye " letter sort of... Remove yourself from her at once!!

When someone is affecting you to this extent the best thing to do is to delete them from your life.

You can't completely because she is connected to you by your parents, unfortunately, but you have to really really distance yourself.

Don't be there for her, don't answer meaningless texts, and dont get into long conversations with her if you guys see each other in family reunions and shit.
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Avoidant Personality Disorder by Graham Snodbanks - Wed, 23 Aug 2017 18:27:11 EST ID:eH7FoqZP No.518284 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Does anyone here have this disorder or know others that do?

I prefer being alone, but that's mainly because being around others can be highly stressful. You end up wanting to be alone so you can avoid that level of discomfort. It makes sense and thus the apt description of avoidant.

With that said, I do get lonely, and I want someone in my life. What's the best way around this? One person suggested to find someone that actually likes low-key boyfriends, but how do I go about it? Talking to people, even online, is painful because I start having a flow of negative thinking about myself. I think that I am boring and that I'll be blown off. The self depreciation can be pretty bad. A therapist suggested to say good things about myself but it always feels like a lie. There came a point where my therapist leaned forward in her chair, looked into my eyes with sincerity, and said "You are a good person". Whenever I begin to think that I am an ok guy, I just end up feeling like I prove the opposite. I really hate having this disorder. Also, yeah, I was abused/neglected as a child. I witnessed the abuse of a sibling as well (can also trigger the disorder. The abuse doesn't have to focus on you). I was also bullied a lot in grade school, and had no friends.

Shit sucks, bro. Maybe I should try microdosing MDMA. Either that or horse tranqs.

Here's a cool picture of Berserk cosplay for your troubles.


Life without drugs by Junkie - Sun, 20 Aug 2017 12:18:11 EST ID:/DxgLiQs No.518201 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I can't enjoy life without drugs. Someone please help.
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Doris Braddlewill - Tue, 22 Aug 2017 20:21:43 EST ID:/brn2RiX No.518265 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518250

i am sure it is a very reasonable idea to pick up four serious intense hobbies and revamp your diet all at the same time, im sure that will become a lasting lifestyle change
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Fucking Seffingmadging - Wed, 23 Aug 2017 00:50:45 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.518269 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Are you actually enjoying it anymore these days with drugs?
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David Gozzlefield - Wed, 23 Aug 2017 09:46:07 EST ID:UjNuOR6B No.518275 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518269
ouch
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Henry Bardstock - Wed, 23 Aug 2017 11:55:24 EST ID:FRHHs+Wp No.518278 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>518275
I was OP for several years until about 3 years ago, and in my experience its pretty much necessary to ask and answer that question before you can wind up finding any kind of resolve to commit to getting better.

The answer for me was obviously no and itd been that way for a long time. I always knew it but had nevet quite explicitly acknowledged it. Its easy to tell what the answer is really though. If youve stopped taking drugs recreationally and you're spending all your time and money in an effort to get annihilated to where you can no longer function, honestly that answer is already no. Unfortunately, unyil you use so many drugs so often that youve built abnormal tolerances to them and the amounts you have to take (and still fail to achieve the state you want) are frankly ridiculous and its just not financially sustainable
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Ernest Cluzzlepare - Wed, 23 Aug 2017 13:53:30 EST ID:bwJOb6Ln No.518282 Ignore Report Quick Reply
who ever said any of us were entitled to enjoy life


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