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FUck life by Henry Curringstock - Thu, 04 May 2017 21:48:20 EST ID:I2FTZEKQ No.516002 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've never been this committed to abandoning all my friends, family and acquaintances before. Once I get a new job that can support my bills I'm going to try to vanish. Basically all but commit suicide. The only problem is that people know where I live but hopefully I can sell this house and move out of state in a couple years.

It's been a little longer than a month since i've talked to any of my friends, I speak with my family as little as possible and my relationship with my girlfriend sucks.

None of it's worth the trouble.

Recently deleted all my social media and online profiles in the hopes that people will just forget me.
Ian Fidgetet - Fri, 05 May 2017 05:38:36 EST ID:PVqP3Gt/ No.516007 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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hey, why are you wanting to disappear? I'll read whatever you write and reply. I've felt the same way before but my job situation doesn't really allow for that sort of dramatic shift.
Henry Curringstock - Fri, 05 May 2017 07:53:31 EST ID:I2FTZEKQ No.516011 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I'm a drain and a burden on all that are around me.

Can't hold down a job, always have to end up relying on others for shit. Can't be happy; constant downer to loved ones, can never explain myself or convey anything deeper than base observations without getting frustrated and embarrassed. Stopped even trying to open up about anything. I've lost all rapport with my family and friends over the past 5 or 6 years because of constant life altering bullshit every year. I feel beyond drained and i can't find a foothold in life without stumbling face first into the next easily avoidable bullshit. I'm an emotional dead weight to my girlfriend not to mention being a frequent financial burden. I'm a joke, liability and embarrassment to every generation of friend group i've ever had. Can't have fun with anything anymore without sharp guilt about my wasted pathetic life that everyone that knows me is aware of. Not talented enough in anything that interests me to do anything and even if I was I don't have the confidence or brain power to complete it. Constantly shifting the blame all the while ultimately blaming myself for everything that's ever gone wrong in my life. Consistent and reliable failure on all things important, life changing or helpful.
I'm like a walking miasma of shame and disgust that people secretly get high off of when they discuss my existence in private, gloating over my inability to be a normal human being. All i'm good for is a life lesson and a low water mark. I have nothing to contribute and no framework to even try. Disappearing is easier than suicide on everyone around me. I don't have enough money to pay for a funeral and that would be the ultimate fucking insult in the world to make people pay for one because i'm too much of an idiot to manage my shit.
Esther Bocklesot - Fri, 05 May 2017 08:25:14 EST ID:WQQAASfX No.516012 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Are you me? That's exactly what I've been doing for the past 3 years.
Everything changed after I lost my mom though, now I've been trying to get back in the fold with everyone but to be honest it's been depressing me even more to talk to people again. So I'm in a very big conflict within myself on what to do from here.
Emma Padgewill - Sat, 06 May 2017 02:33:55 EST ID:PVqP3Gt/ No.516027 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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have you tried not giving a shit?

like, what makes you happy? even the littlest thing? what if you just did that all the time?

a lot of people these days struggle with existence because there's no real challenge, and they can't really find happiness.

I dunno, I guess sometimes you have to really not give a shit and just do what you think is right.

do you believe in morality?

have you asked one of your friends to tell you why they appreciate you?

why does your GF stick around? and don't just say because she has no other options, there's probably some part of her that really likes some part of you. ask her what that part is.
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Matilda Blendlepare - Sun, 07 May 2017 05:23:15 EST ID:I2FTZEKQ No.516044 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Thanks for the reply, man.

I read your post, i just don't know how to respond fully right now.

I guess i'm taking my relationships for granted if i'm so willing to throw them all away. but validation or confirmation from others can only get me so far if i'm still the same slug as I was before. I dunno, I feel less awful today but i still agree with everything I said when I was whining about everything. Even if everyone is fine with me being a joke and a burden i'm still the busted clown smearing grease paint all over the place.

I guess i'm just going to try to hold it all together for a while longer and hopefully things will start getting better.

Apprenticeship by Cyril Sissleham - Thu, 04 May 2017 09:41:10 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.515979 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I started an apprenticeship as a machinist a little over a month ago. I work 3rd shift and make $14.50 an hour.

They started me out on the surface grinder...Okay. This is extremely fucking dangerous. Like, theres a giant wheel and im grinding shit thats being held on a 25 lb vise. If I go to low, that vise goes flying. If that vise hits me, i'm dead.

So far I've: Blew up 2 surface grinder wheels ($400 each), did about $5000 worth of damage to a machine, and sent some shit flying that broke the guard off a different machine. I've gotten bitched at by my boss numerous times. He's threatened to fire me if I break anymore shit.

I'm not as worried about getting fired as I am of getting seriously injured or dying. Every day the dude training me says shit like "That surface grinder will rip your hand off just you watch" and " These machines are no joke theyre unforgiving and they'll fuck you up"

"You'll lose an eye easily. I've seen it happen."
"I saw a guy get killed by one of these machines once. He was pronounced dead in the ambulance but thats not true. The second the thing hit him his eyes rolled in back of his head. I had to scoop his brains up off the floor"

Shit like this.

Obviously im scared fucking shitless. I'm debating looking for a new job and have already started a bit, I got an interview for tomorrow as a carpenter apprentice. But I feel like these people are just going to get completely angry that I quit after fucking up a bunch of their shit, and im afraid that everyone I know is going to look down on me.

What should I do?
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Phineas Fanninghune - Thu, 04 May 2017 11:37:51 EST ID:C9GUdLvq No.515982 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Quit. Make other decisions after the fact. 15 an hour isn't worth it. If you got comfortable it's even more dangerous and now you have no peace of mind, lose lose. Get out of there before something happens to your health. Good luck.
Basil Chunningshaw - Thu, 04 May 2017 11:53:19 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.515983 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>going to get completely angry that I quit after fucking up a bunch of their shit
OP you need to make decisions for yourself, they're a company and they can get over it.
>"You'll lose an eye easily. I've seen it happen."
>"I saw a guy get killed by one of these machines once

I'm sure they keep reminding you of this cause if they didn't you might be a bit too relaxed using obviously dangerous equipment.
Phyllis Tillingdale - Thu, 04 May 2017 13:14:21 EST ID:UrDCyu5q No.515986 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If you hate it, find a new job while you look.

Maybe they also have pretty robust health and safety and are just trying to keep you on your feet, maybe they don't. Maybe they're testing your nerve because you keep breaking shit.

Though that said the damage you did to the machine is meaningless. If that machine turns $500 of raw materials and $500 of labour, overheads and shit into $2500 every day then it's probably acceptable wear and tear.

I mean it probably isn't. But it could be.
Caroline Bingerhood - Thu, 04 May 2017 14:03:35 EST ID:VkYjj6a7 No.515988 Ignore Report Quick Reply
fuck them, your life is worth more than their profit

at the very least, to you, your life is worth more than their profits
Cyril Sissleham - Thu, 04 May 2017 18:40:57 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.516000 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I can't just up and quit, im on probation and need to be employed, i also have many bills and responsibilities

Drug for anger control by Peter Parker - Wed, 03 May 2017 21:01:42 EST ID:LxOKRzSL No.515965 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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First of all: weed is out of question.
Second: If you think this belongs to another board please point that out.

Hi, fellas

Some background:

I have some anger issues mostly related to past issues (bad relationships, bad relatives, awful education, lack of money, etc).

  • I went to therapy and that helped me a lot but sadly I don't have the money nor the time to go to session.

  • I can't vent my anger nor forget it because I can't count on my friends. I talk to them via chat about silly, nonsense and serious things hoping they can reciprocate with anything (Facebook, Whatsapp) to only get short answers and most of the time I think they're spacing out or looking some slut FB profile... and of course tried to arrange a meeting in my house, in their place or somewhere but they won't budge. So I stopped, and said: Fuck it. (I have 26, they have the same age also)

  • I do exercise (running). I write fiction (I take classes). I don't smoke anything also no booze, wine, vodka or whatever.
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Alice Harrylore - Thu, 04 May 2017 01:12:32 EST ID:NUH8HlTU No.515969 Ignore Report Quick Reply
A martial art
Reuben Blythewill - Thu, 04 May 2017 01:54:59 EST ID:vPXIYoJk No.515970 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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This may sound like hippie bullshit, but meditation definitely helped me, im definitely not "stable" and mentally healthy, but i definitely say um much better now.
Also helped me quitting cigs and abusing drugs.
Edward Pecklestock - Thu, 04 May 2017 14:22:03 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.515991 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Drugs are going to exacerbate the problem for the most part. When I was a teenager and able to smoke weed, I found it fixed the issue. It's about the only option, drug wise, that I would actually consider a viable option.

Personally I got stuck self-medicating with and getting pretty mentally addicted to dissociatives in part for this very pursuit. I've had anger issues since I was a child (would beat up friends at times when I was very young until my dad taught me some discipline lest he fuck my shit up for acting like an out of control little cunt). Up until recently I wasn't able to find a way to effectively manage them outside of drug use.

So, I found with dissociatives, for up to a day or two after taking one, any depression, discontentment, and my anger issues would be gone. What was even better was that after I had a concussion and some emotional turmoil that followed that for a few years, I found that I had lost connection with my emotions and they became very hollow caricatures of what they used to be. While still high on a dissociative, I felt emotions again like I used to, which in turn make me feel like a human being again.

What I wound up learning over time though is that my usage was contributing to my anger issues in the long run. Not only did I lose my old coping mechanisms that I had before using the drug as a response to everything, but they were having much more of a negative effect on my mood after those 2 or 3 days that followed a trip. Until I had taken a break for well over 5 months, I hadn't been able to realize that they were having a long term effect of rebound depression and fits of aggression and anger.

It's for this reason I don't find drug usage (other than maybe marijuana) a viable method of controlling your anger at all. It's actively detrimental to that pursuit.

man wtf should I reach out or not? by Eugene Fuvingtork - Wed, 26 Apr 2017 03:06:06 EST ID:Jx+MZZuh No.515802 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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It's almost be a year since my ex and I broke up. We didn't break up on good terms at all really. We have talked since then but only about a mutual friend that had passed away. I found out she had been lying about some things from the friend and it has left a sore taste in my mouth. The worst part of it all has been my inability to move on and heal from the emotional pain she left me in but here I am wanting to reach out to her.

She isn't a bad person to say, just a single mom with her own, selfish albeit reasonable, motivated goals. We got along really well, it felt as if we were gonna last for awhile. Stupid shit kept happening. People in our lives that didn't want us to be together. Her baby daddy hates me. Her dad hates me because I'm black. My brother was jealous And had a hand in running her off.

I don't know but this girl was something special. She was one of those girls I could just talk to for hours and there's not many girls I even want to be around for that long. We'd get high, fuck, listen to music, go on nature walks and do it all over again. It's just not the same. I try to get other girls to do those thibgs and they flake or they don't smoke weed.

as I type this pitiful paragraph I'm sure she has moved on to different dicks. one of her main reasons her baby daddy and her had split was because she wanted to sleep around. Her and I got into an argument over something my brother did. He started telling and story I wasn't interested in talking about at the time. I interrupted him and she just snapped on me and told me I teat people badly. The story he was telling was personal and he just goes "let me tell it!!!" and that's when I started to get buggered off by the whole thing and probably was an asshole. The fact she took up for him after that really annoyed me ever when I explained to her this is something he was doing on purpose.

Our first date together he was there my ex gf just so happened to walk in and I started laughing. The girl didn't know what I was laughing about and I wasn't going to tell her that my ex gf was in thete. My brother started to and I quickly stopped him. See what I m…
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Caroline Gidgeforth - Wed, 26 Apr 2017 06:54:15 EST ID:9vn86lM+ No.515805 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Sounds like you need closure OP, theres no harm in talking to her, just dont expect anything, but it will give you closure none the less, just make sure you talk in absolutes and dont beat around the bush, you either want to be in or out, no more skirting around stalking her on fbook etc or whatever you're doing.
Eugene Fuvingtork - Wed, 26 Apr 2017 09:53:16 EST ID:Jx+MZZuh No.515808 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I have been stalking her but to be fair she has probably been stalking me too. She actually saw a status I had posted about her and blocked me then she unblocked me around valentine's day. I'm still unblocked. I don't know I want to talk to her but I'm not sure how to go about it. she will probably reject me again and I'll just end up wishing I never tried to contact her.
Eugene Mizzlehire - Wed, 26 Apr 2017 12:43:57 EST ID:lzwSTMPh No.515815 Ignore Report Quick Reply
My experience is that closure comes from within.
Jack Fashham - Thu, 04 May 2017 02:47:36 EST ID:p489bJ/X No.515971 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Did u reach out op report back and tell us how it goes lmao
Jenny Croffingbadge - Thu, 04 May 2017 02:47:45 EST ID:zgZoXdVb No.515972 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Did u reach out op report back and tell us how it goes lmao

left my girlfriend by Fuck Follyhitch - Sat, 29 Apr 2017 22:29:52 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.515885 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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It's been a long time 420chan but i'm back here for some advice.

So i've been with my girlfriend for almost 4 years and lived with her for almost as long. The good times outweigh the bad but the bad times have been awful for example she's prone to getting completely wasted, coming home and starting huge arguments and fights and once she's sobered up she loves to say she'll never do it again.

I've not been so great either but the times i was at fault don't come close to the times she has been.

Anyway i've made it sound worse than it was however i've decided to end it as the past few days have gone to total shit and she hasn't been coming home due to me having an open and calm conversation about how i felt she shouldn't drink so much and she took it to mean she should work in her new bar job.

Anyway since i couldn't get her in person it ended up coming out over the phone, where she insulted me several times and told me she only still lived with me over the last month cause she had nowhere to go.

that hurt a bit but i was leaving her anyway so i guess it doesn't matter.

>can we get some pictures and personal experiences in this thread
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Phineas Brookshit - Wed, 03 May 2017 12:00:36 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.515956 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Another update

So sorry for making this thread drag on, it would seem i care a bit more than her about loosing this relationship even though i did come to the decision of leaving her.
Apparently it looks like she's diving headfirst into starting up a relationship with this new guy, i found out as we share a laptop (being poor and all) and i checked the internet history which gave a pretty clear sign

Am i to assume that she just didn't give a fuck? or is this some kind of revenge/ rebound?
Also should i ask her about this or do i have no choice but to ignore it. I mean i know i can't really be angry or anything cause we're not together i just kind of want to know if she really just didn't give a fuck.

>if you didn't read the thread, broke up with ex, still have to live together for a while, kind of mutual breakup, she slept over some guys house a day after.
Hugh Snodstock - Wed, 03 May 2017 14:08:16 EST ID:htaZ9ou+ No.515957 Ignore Report Quick Reply
her fucking and dating dude is good for you because now you can kick her out and she can live with him and no she doesnt care, she is clearly using this dude for dick and possibly to make you jealous. Cut this toxic person out of your life and move on. It was a stupid idea to end the relationship and then put yourself in a scenario were neither of you can move on.
Phineas Brookshit - Wed, 03 May 2017 15:13:35 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.515958 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yeah I guess it's good still hurts though that it would seem she couldn't have found this guy in a matter of days and must've been getting close to him while we were still together...
And yeah it was a unfortunate position to have her still live with me but to be fair i didnt think she had anywhere to go.

Augustus Clibberville - Wed, 03 May 2017 15:27:01 EST ID:jPpWgI0N No.515959 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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OP I like this guy Jordan B. Peterson, he's a Canadian college Professor. I had a specific part of a specific video of his in mind for you, but I can't find it. But, I found this other video where he touches on the topic. I recommend his other videos too. He has a channel. He has entire lecture courses up. In orderly playlists. Here, hope this helps in some way. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbGzUqFcHSs
Rebecca Sonningson - Wed, 03 May 2017 22:45:14 EST ID:OtGBR6C8 No.515968 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Leeches gonna leech man, and there's plenty of guys willing to take in a warm hole for a roommate.

Don't obsess over it.

Wisdom by Edwin Fanway - Wed, 03 May 2017 19:38:03 EST ID:y8ars7P0 No.515960 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hi friends.

In America, are there any resources to receive cheaper wisdom tooth removal? I am 26, have lived in poverty my entire life, and have no insurance. I am seeking direction and while I have other dental issues, wisdom tooth removal would undoubtedly be the only thing I may be able to afford, as well as help me out a bit.

If anyone can provide any advice, I would be eternally grateful.
Hugh Bromblesteg - Wed, 03 May 2017 20:27:40 EST ID:GoZz+UFM No.515964 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Look into rural clinics or government subsidized clinics. You might have to drive ~1-2 hrs to get to one but it is worth it. I go to one about an hour from, a rural clinic, and it's $30-60 an appointment based on income. For 12 different appointments I'll be paying a total of $425 and that includes my wisdom teeth getting removed. So yeah. The wait is normally around 1-2 months since everybody trying to get cheap dental but it's worth the wait and make sure to not skip/miss the appointment.

Enjoying My Youth? by Thomas Sangerson - Mon, 01 May 2017 14:23:31 EST ID:PYzoENVk No.515917 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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What does it mean to "enjoy your youth?"

Literally every baby boomer, even people older than them, says that to those who are in their teens and twenties. It's supposed to be encouraging, but for me? Constantly thinking about my fleeting youth and life nearly send me into a panic attack.

Seriously, I can't even listen to Baz Luhrman's "Everyone is Free to Wear Sunscreen" because of this existential paranoia.

I'm turning 26 in June (male, I don't consider 30 old, maybe 40+ or so), but I've felt like an old man since I was 19, which I think started when I started college a year late and grew into some strange insecurity I've never been able to conquer. On top of that, I started balding at 18, and I had to start shaving my head when I was 21. My bald crown, which reaches to the back of my scalp, became noticeable when I was 22, along with other treasures like back hair and a gross mustache I have to shave off whenever I can.

The reason I bring this up is because I feel like my "best years" were taken from me before they even started.

What am I supposed to be doing with my youth? Go skydiving, mountain climbing, hitting bars and going to orgies? I don't plan on getting married or having children, so if that's what people refer to when they say "you won't know how valuable your youth is until it's gone."

Am I alone in thinking there's too much pressure in enjoying your body and life before you get wrinkles or whatever, or does it only apply to normies who go to the beach every weekend and have wild sex parties before settling down with a wife, kids and an office job?
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Simon Duffingman - Tue, 02 May 2017 21:59:59 EST ID:UrQwPY3E No.515945 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If it means anything to you, I'm also 25, and always hang out with 30+ yo friends, who bang more, younger, chicks than I do. They go out more, and drink more (though I do more drugs than them). They basically have the same life I have, only with more money and more white hair.

What I mean is you can be in your 20s for way longer than 10 years.
Alice Hossleridge - Tue, 02 May 2017 23:45:47 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.515948 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>What I mean is you can be in your 20s for way longer than 10 years.
I'm not really sure that's something someone should aspire to achieve, honestly.
Polly Burryspear - Wed, 03 May 2017 09:30:20 EST ID:9B6U+M4D No.515952 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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There's a lot of physical activities you can't enjoy when you're older. Skateboarding and most sports you're not gonna be able to do in your 30s. Forget about long-term backpacking in your 40s. Travel when you're young. The older you get, the more you are a slave to your body. The younger you are, the more you are a slave to your mind.
Graham Bellystat - Wed, 03 May 2017 09:36:56 EST ID:WaX7KPfh No.515954 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I have no fucking idea. My grandparents spent their youth trying not to die in WWII. My father grew up in a small town after WWII and had a shit youth. My mother enjoyed her youth, but she grew up as a sort of Mowgli child in the jungle, and is keenly aware that her experience is extremely unique. Then she came here and experience all the same bullshit, which left her jaded.

Neither did I enjoy my youth. Modern youth consists of going to a mandatory job you hate for most of the day, with your entire worth as a person depending on your performance at said job. Your colleagues are all assholes who will lay into anyone a bit weird in a way that's so widespread and typical that people who experience it as adults will refer back to everyone's general youth experiences to describe the situation.

"Enjoy your youth" seems to be something said by people who fucked up their adult lives for some reason, or who by some fluke were extremely popular among their peers for the same reason some of us weren't, and haven't been able to replicate that.

My life got better as I got older. And my life is still pretty shit. So I really don't know what these people are talking about.
Graham Bellystat - Wed, 03 May 2017 09:58:07 EST ID:WaX7KPfh No.515955 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OK, I'm doubleposting, so nb.

But I have this to say to that: Hah!

You should see my old man. He's damn near 70, and in better shape than most people *my* age. The truth is, most older people can't enjoy physical activities because they let themselves go. Because they never were actually interested in it in the first place. My mother is still travelling the world, and the old lady has Parkinson's. And yes, it makes shit harder. A lot harder, sometimes. But she told me she went to her exercise thingy, and she was going to do some shit with a woman her age, with the same disease. The other woman is basically non-functional, because she did nothing all her life, while my mother hauled her old ass up mountains and shit. Her condition ensured that the impact of the disease was much less severe.

Yeah, you're going to feel your age. But aging doesn't automatically make you feeble.

Oh, and my old man's preferred sport is motocross. It'll probably be over in the next few years, but let's be real here: The moment he hangs up the motorbike, he'll legit be a geriatric old grandpa. He also snowboards, but doesn't like it all that much. We both think conditions for proper snowboarding are too finnicky, and skiing is the better bet in most cases. My mother used to be an excellent skier until the Parkinson's hit.

Use it or lose it.

Had an argument with my brother by Eugene Huvingladge - Sun, 30 Apr 2017 09:30:41 EST ID:F/FhcWVH No.515897 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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To start off, my older brother has done some terrible things to me in my life. One of my earliest memories is of our Mom holding him down and telling me to run from him. The rest of my childhood with him wasn't much better. I struggled with this for years but I was finally able to forgive him just recently. Yesterday he shared a post on Facebook that said "Please pray for my brother, there is nothing wrong with him, he is just a fucking idiot". I was already having a bad day when I saw that so I commented "What the absolute fuck have I ever done to you? Because I seem to remember being beaten to tears multiple times a day everyday for years".

I'm not normally one for Facebook drama but I couldn't just ignore something like that from my own brother. Afterward, he texted me not to apologize, but to say it was just a joke and to "calm my tits". I simply told him to fuck off (not the best way to deescalate I admit). Then he started saying other things in an attempt to hurt me until I told him he's not welcome in my life anymore.

Even if it was a joke the lack of an apology, or even the slightest recognition of his wrong doing, is painful. This whole situation brought back a ton of memories that I've spent almost half of my life trying to forget. Now I just feel empty. I feel like I'm in the right here but it's not like me to say stuff like that. Especially to family. Anyway I don't know why I'm posting this here but it's probably more constructive than trying to settle this with him.
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Betsy Bammlebodge - Mon, 01 May 2017 10:00:50 EST ID:gzHrpovr No.515914 Ignore Report Quick Reply
haha, I'm keen on this idea.

that sucks though OP. sorry your bro is such a bully dickhead. he sounds like one of those painfully miserable and jaded motherfuckers on circlejerk who are constantly compelled to display their own weird internet machismo. what else did he do? i'd say maybe his tune will change years down the line if he ever mellows out, and he'll come to you when he's really ready to give up the "older brother bully" ghost. though seeing as he's been a dick to you your whole life, I guess I wouldn't count on it. maybe he'll grow up someday, maybe not. at least you turned out to be a cool, level-headed guy despite all that shit.
Charlotte Bellerchure - Tue, 02 May 2017 03:28:08 EST ID:zPu+Cn1i No.515925 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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So what good things do you remember about him? Have you ever felt a moment where you were friends, and what helps you to get along? How is he with other people? And does it feel worthwhile to mend that connection? It seems to have bugged you enough to start a thread here.

You're probably right to have called him out on that, and I hope he wasn't just using that emotional outburst afterwards just to manipulate you. Try to consider that even if so, they have their own little corner of suffering in their life.
James Sammleridge - Tue, 02 May 2017 09:10:21 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.515934 Ignore Report Quick Reply
"Please pray for my brother, there is nothing wrong with him, he is just a fucking idiot"
"What the absolute fuck have I ever done to you? Because I seem to remember being beaten to tears multiple times a day everyday for years".

OP got baited and looked like a bitch.

Your bother is a dick but you seem to be a pussy.
Don't be his friend...
Martin Nicklewill - Tue, 02 May 2017 12:54:43 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.515942 Ignore Report Quick Reply
He's got a point. Your brother is a dick, but it sounds like you've never done anything to earn his respect or challenge his position on the dominance hierarchy. If he fucks with you, don't react to it emotionally. Just get even with him. Normally I wouldn't give that advice, but since he's family and male that's about the only way to get him to quit fucking with you. Just fuck with him back until he takes it like a bitch and shit all over him for it. Sometimes that's just how it works between guys. Eventually he'll start seeing you as an equal instead of his crybaby bitch of a little brother.
Fanny Pegglewadge - Wed, 03 May 2017 00:15:53 EST ID:F/FhcWVH No.515949 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I like the thought of beating him up but we're both adults now. I don't know, let's see how things play out the next time he comes to the farm, if he ever does. I did beat him into submission once when he was making fun of the homeless kid on Korea's Got Talent. I was 14 and he was 16 then. That was when he stopped beating on me but he never stopped with the verbal abuse. These days, I wouldn't put it behind him to report me if I swung first.

>what else did he do?

Other than beating me he also:
>smashed my first guitar
>took my second guitar apart and left it for me to put back together
>mocked any of my attempts to be creative. He still makes fun of my music but I think that's jealousy on his part
>got his friends to tease and throw shit at me when they came over
>locked me out of the house in the winter, leading me to climb on the woodpile to get in the window. The pile fell on me
>held me down and dry-humped me when we were alone together
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So life kinda sucks by Shitting Tootbury - Tue, 02 May 2017 23:24:26 EST ID:dXHrGFBg No.515946 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So life has been kinda on a massive downwards slope as of late. I recently moved in with my gf of over a year. Every thing was kinda Meh on the whole as far as work goes and our relationship was pretty solid .

I didn't really get paid much at my old job and decided to switch up career paths. But the area I lived in with my parents had zero oprotunitys so I moved in with my gf who lives in a more prosperous area under the impression the job I was working would have paid more and ide be able to support myself and help her.

I currently plan on going to school but haven't had time or money. The job I'm currently working now does not pay nearly what I thought it was and I with any wait from 5 to 7 day a week with hours that range from 7 -9 hours a day, and I still don't nearly make enough money I'm basically breaking even on all my expenses and can't even aford to give her money that we had anticipated on.

That all is the tip of the iceberg. Sense I have moved in shit went from good to idk how to describe it. Her health has never been that great and as of late as been getting worse and is under an insane amount of stress because she is about time get booted of her parents health insurance. We are both always tired and both relatively crabby and I feel like we are starting to grow distant from each other.

There is still a lot of love in this relationship I feel but neither of really express aside from the usual I love you. We are both down each other's throats about every thing.

With both of us being tired neither of really feel like cleaning but she still manages to get house with while I usually just come home relax for a few hours and crash. I feel bad that I don't do more but never have it in me to get up unless she starts jumping on me about it, and usually when she does it get frustrated. Then feel bad because I know where she is coming from but can't help but feel the way I do in the moment.

There are other issues as well that kinda get resolved rather quickly but every thing feels like it is stacking up and idk what to do. I tried for a higher paying job but failed the piss test (havent smoked in a while. There was a sleeping pull I took that I didn&#…
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Shitting Tootbury - Tue, 02 May 2017 23:27:19 EST ID:dXHrGFBg No.515947 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Also sorry for the shitty Grammer and spelling I did not prof read this at all

At ropes end by Epilooptic - Tue, 02 May 2017 02:28:19 EST ID:bXKnmY5K No.515922 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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For the last ten years I've been suffering from a worsening case of epilepsy. During that time, I tried to push myself in getting ahead in academics as well as work and ultimately resulted in my financial stature diminishing to an ultimate low. I am deemed a safety hazard as an employee to both myself and others and employment, although I'm unable to perform physically, is barred from me.

I lost my education, a decent amount of brain cells, my home, my job, my girlfriend, and the ability to be around friends. On top of that, I can't get the cerebral collotomy because of the cost and the VNS isn't allowed for me. In short, my system and the system we live on is giving up with me.

I used to be happy with how alone I've become. I thought that I could draw a serene therapeutic endeavor from it. I was wrong in the long haul. Three years of never coming down from these mountains, I have no friends here, and I am growing to hate.

All the MRIs say I'm fine. My diet is superb. I have no tumors. I don't abuse drugs. I sleep well and my blood circulation isnt obstructed. I am isolated almost entirely from the tangible city life.

What the fuck do I do? I don't want to get on SSI but it's becoming a reality... I want to get better but I can't afford that.
Charlotte Bellerchure - Tue, 02 May 2017 03:13:05 EST ID:zPu+Cn1i No.515924 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This isn't meant to be a cop-out solution but do you smoke weed and does it help if so?

You have some clear external factors there. Most of all you seem very alone in this process. Could you be linked to others who live with similar problems? It might help you know how others live with this.
Epilooptic - Tue, 02 May 2017 07:48:53 EST ID:bXKnmY5K No.515930 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I used to smoke Indica and it didn't work so I switched over to oil and lotions; however, although it seemed to work - it's an expensive commodity for someone who needs to apply healthy portions over my entire body. I would of grown it as well but life for me at the time didn't allow it.

Yes I do have some factors and yes I am very alone. After my mom died three years into my having epilepsy, my dad turned a cold shoulder, and since the rest of my family has some resentment towards my immediate family - I was left to my own devices to get better.

Which for a while I did. Sure it was rough at the start - but I got a job quickly, had to live on the streets in Santa Ana for a little bit, my sleep schedule was fucked, and so was my diet, but I saved up for a car which I wasn't legally allowed to drive and lived in that until I got an apartment. I stressed my epilepsy out to wits end and here I sit and write after an intense decade of mental, physical, and emotional apathy and sadism.

I know nobody with epilepsy who has been through what I have/am going through. All the others have a family with interest in helping them.

I'm pretty sure the worsening is stemming from the initial parts of me getting myself off the streets and how I didn't go through proper therapy. Shit dieting leads to improper energy which leads to physical stress and mental changes which when coupled with restless sleep... You know the rest - but as an epileptic, all of that even by themselves is able to trigger attacks for me, and I was always feeling both.

Now that I'm up in the mountains living off food stamps with zero responsibilities other than shopping, cooking, eating, and cleaning - I can really feel my sickness. My nerves are constantly tingling and giving off cold waves, especially around my kneecaps and below as well as my wrists to my hands.

As far as therapy goes, I constantly sit in darkness to put less stress on my eyes and also on the Ketogenic diet and I'm following it strictly. Since I've started it, my daily seizure count has dropped to 0 on average, but I'm still incapable of extended physical activity.
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James Sammleridge - Tue, 02 May 2017 08:24:11 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.515933 Ignore Report Quick Reply
So how frequent are the seizures? What type of seizures do you have?
My ex had epilepsy and she lost a couple of jobs through seizures (illegal i know but they have ways).
Anyway the point is she eventually found a job that was okay with it after a long period of looking for jobs and being unemployed.

I think that the biggest factor in her inability to find work in the end was the massive gap in her work history and not the epilepsy, so work on fixing that with education or maybe some temp / casual work.

If your epilepsy is truly debilitating you might consider looking for help through epilepsy groups who might get you work.

Anyway it sounds like a shit situation, you'll probably just have to live with it.

What meds are you on btw?
Epilooptic - Tue, 02 May 2017 19:27:04 EST ID:bXKnmY5K No.515943 Ignore Report Quick Reply
When it comes to frequency, lots of factors come into play here; however, usually I either get one or two a day and it's almost always before I go to bed and when that one occurs, it's likely I'll get one when I wake up. I also have very unique dreams that leave me drenched in cold sweats then awoken randomly in the middle of the night via a jerk so I'm certain I get them while sleeping. (I'd videotape myself sleeping but I don't have a camera capable of holding that much space.)

The types I have are simple partial, complex partial, clonic, and myoclonic. It's all dependent upon the trigger. If I am visually excited, I'll have a simple partial, if I am emotionally excited, I'll have a complex, if I didn't medicate and keep my body in proper variables then I'll have myoclonic and clonic depending on what part of my safety blanket/daily regiment I didn't use.

As far as my work gap goes, it's not about experience with me or how long I have or haven't worked. I have gone over the top with my limitations consistently thinking it would turn out fine. I have lost many days of sleep, I have gone without my medicine for days, I've starved at the expense of conserving energy, I've crashed because of dehydration, and I've been hit in the head too many times due to fault of my own and because of the carelessness of others and I never went through physical or mental therapy, I had to keep on moving or so I felt. Because of this, I've seriously dampened my output capabilities.

Until I can go through the therapy I so desperately need and etc, I'm just sitting here thinking of better days and hoping I can find better ways to help myself. I have truly reached the extent of my capabilities in this state as mentioned earlier and I have constantly tried to raise the bar to see if there is any wiggle room for me. None.

Even if there was an epileptic outreach program or even a job search committee here, my previous segments will not allow it. I've already been there numerous times.

Unfortunately that's all I can do for now which is why I am hoping the government will help me out here. I used to be the president of t…
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am i being an arsehole or not by Augustus Sishlock - Tue, 25 Apr 2017 13:44:50 EST ID:NoKU4Mj+ No.515778 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So I'm living with my ex and it's fucking hell for both of us. The other day, she was chilling in a local park with one of my housemates and a 'friend' of mine came over and started chatting to her as he usually would (I wasn't there I was just told this). The 'friend' in question is already known to fancy the pants off of her and as soon as he realised he liked her, every time we'd all bump into each other while the relationship was still happening, he would be subtly belittling and condescending towards me (you could see him thinking that I wasn't good enough for her), while he would be emphatically overjoyed to talk to her. I realise because of this that he isn't really a friend and like to keep my distance now.

Apparently though, they got on well and talked about 'deep shit' to do with personal issues, but she insists very strongly she has no sexual/romantic attraction to him (despite acknowledging that he is good looking from 'neutral standpoint') and wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. Regards of this, they made plans to go to coffee together and he was talking to her about taking her to a fire jam. Apparently she was really excited about this because she doesn't have many friends around here and was excited to leave the house.

However, because I'm starting to think more and more that this guy is a disingenuous smarmy bastard (and I know for a fact that all he wants is to get in her knickers), I strongly implored her *not* to spend time with him simply on the grounds that he was supposed to be a friend to me, and instead acted belittling towards me simply because he wanted to fuck her, and that it would hurt me emotionally if he then got what we wanted.

She is now really pissed off and upset about this and with me, however she is doing what I ask and not seeing or talking to him.

Is this a reasonable request of an ex partner who you still live with or am I being manipulative and controlling?
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George Semmlespear - Sat, 29 Apr 2017 09:42:02 EST ID:tuYIGJeT No.515882 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Your ex-friend is a dick and you're also too controlling. You shouldn't be telling anybody who they can and can't see. I also live with my ex and I see who I want, he gets jealous sometimes but he knows he just has to deal with it bc if he tried to tell me what to do he'd be kicked the fuck out. We're usually on good terms but there has been some really shitty times bc we still live together and he's moving out at the end of the lease, thank fuck. If I were you I'd make other arrangements ASAP, it's not good for you to want to control someone that way and it's just as bad for her to have to accept it.
Ebenezer Cribberridge - Sat, 29 Apr 2017 17:34:25 EST ID:AkBTpOns No.515883 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>my ex

>getting involved with her affairs

maybe you should...not...do that..?
Cyril Begglehat - Sat, 29 Apr 2017 21:29:33 EST ID:OAGzXzE1 No.515884 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP, you's a bitch. Get over it. Your friend is a dick. Your ex needs to tell you to fuck off. You made living with each other hell.

Ghengis Dong - Mon, 01 May 2017 12:17:59 EST ID:rwLX+pq3 No.515916 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You're being an arse.

I lived with my ex only six months after our breakup because of a whole lot of stupid circumstances. It aggravated the usual mopy break up feels, but these subsided and eventually I was in a relationship with a much hotter and much younger girl.

Around the same time, my other roomate's asshole, freeloading friend who was constantly dropping in unannounced and crashing on our couch started hooking up with my ex.

All the old bullshit started reappearing alongside new more loathsome feelings.

Even though he was a real piece of shit and a terrible partner: a rude, lazy, misogynist, and a conservative muslim that literally shamed her the fact that they were having sex out of wedlock. (She was of course, a hairy armed women's liberationist flower-child) I recognized that this anger was just possesiveness on my part. When someone justifiably thinks their friend's partner is shit, they tell them as much, and though it's frustrating it doesn't consume people the way jealousy does.

I had a roommate tell me I was never to bring a friend around our apartment because he found him annoying and rude, and I told him to go pound sand. You have no control over whom your roommate associates with, and the fact that she's your ex should have no bearing on that fact. Unless he's a thief or a risk you can't do anything besides kindly request she avoids bringing him around while you're at home. That's still an imposition, but it's at least a little more delicate.
James Sammleridge - Tue, 02 May 2017 11:59:15 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.515939 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>you could see him thinking that I wasn't good enough for her
Consider that this is all in your head OP
> but she insists very strongly she has no sexual/romantic attraction to him
Has she ever done anything that broke the trust ? If not you should probably just accept this.
>She is now really pissed off and upset about this and with me, however she is doing what I ask and not seeing or talking to him.
She is pissed off cause you're trying to control her but she still respects your wishes and doesn't see him, what's the problem?

It sounds like you have trust issues OP and it sounds like you're becoming controlling although it's not the worst case of controlling behaviour by a long shot.
She is your ex and she is free to do what she likes really, if your buddy wants to fuck her and shes game then they can go right ahead and you shouldn't say anything. If you feel strongly about it don't see your old buddy anymore.

Perhaps if you own the house or wherever you live you might have some bargaining power and you could explain it makes you uncomfortable but it's still not a great thing to do although it is understandable cause nobody is perfect.

Considering dating an ex again by Charles Cremmleville - Tue, 02 May 2017 10:48:54 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.515936 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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We dated when I was 20 and she was 19. We were friends for years before this and this fucked it all up. We cheated on eachother and it was a very abusive relationship, physically and emotionally, from both sides.

A few weeks back i saw this girl at a party. I havent seen her in 4 years. I ended up taking her home. She told me she got raped a few months ago and has been getting blackout drunk every day.

I've tried to help her since. She still drinks because she claims she'll have withdrawals but she seems much happier than when I first saw her and to be drinking less and taking care of herself way more. I'm beginning to fall for this girl again and i've never felt this way about anyone before. I want to get with this girl and I could see us having a family in a few years once she gets her shit together and I do too a little more. We've had sex a few times recently but I'm cautious about it because its very hard for her to since getting raped.

Last night she came over and we tripped on acid. She told me that she doesnt care what kind of clothes I wear or what kind of car I drive and that she just likes me for who I am. We fell asleep next to eachother in my bed and I told her I loved her as I was falling asleep. She said "I love you too" which I didnt expect.

I want to see this grow with this girl. Our parents and almost none of our friends would not approve if we dated. It would be hard but I think we could make it work. I dont know if shes ready for it but I feel like I should make a move soon, we've been seeing eachother at least once a week for the past 5 weeks or so, and usually hanging out every weekend. She says she doesnt like partying so much anymore and wants to just chill and play video games and shit like that with me.

I really want to make this work, I dont want to ask her out next weekend because its my birthday and I dont want to get rejected on my birthday. I overthink shit, like I saw she logged onto facebook and didnt read my message.

I hate this, I wish I didnt have a past with this girl. I want to help her and see her get treatment because she has some mental issues, and I want to grow old with her. She was one of my first lovers and befo…
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Ernest Clellyson - Tue, 02 May 2017 11:30:53 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.515937 Ignore Report Quick Reply

For one the relationship ended for a reason.

For two she has problems.

For three they aren't your problems.

For four, don't be Captain Saveabitch.
James Sammleridge - Tue, 02 May 2017 11:46:43 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.515938 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP i got seriously concerned you were trying to date my ex for a moment, she too had similar problems and i've got to say to date her would become a massive mistake.

You don't need that no matter how desperate you are there will be someone else.
However if you're anything like me no matter how many posts here or friends irl tell you its a bad idea you will probably do it anyway.

I find girls like this need someone to help handle all their shit and become very attached to people they need, don't you think it's a bit strange she would say i love you?

Don't do it OP

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