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Long rant about why I hate everything (including myself). by Alice Bammerhene - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 14:22:46 EST ID:5JYKa3yb No.513398 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've been sober for over a year now, I used to have a "complicated" relationship with clonazepram and was also high pretty much 24/7 for a couple of years. About half a year ago, I was referred by my therapist to a drug-rehabilitation senter of some kind, which I accepted because he phrased it as just "free therapy" which was sorely needed because paying for that shit left me fucking broke and I had to move home to my parents.

My parents live in the middle of fucking nowhere, complete godforsaken swamp-forest taken out of The Hound of the Baskervilles, where there isn't any form for transportation. Ergo, I couldn't land a job since how the fuck would I get there, also just meeting people would be like I was five years old again where I had to "plan" visits because I needed to make sure my parents would be home, wouldn't drink wine or pop a beer, or wasn't busy with any other shit. The plan I originally had which was studying high school because I never graduated, also fell into the dumps because once again, there was absolutely no way I could actually get anywhere and I really wasn't interested in taking up yet another loan just so I could rent some super shitty box in another city right after I moved back here and use 20 years paying that back. So naturally I began the process of getting my driving-certificate.

Stupidly, I told my new therapist about this while I was talking about how I finally got some hope and self-esteem back with actually doing something with my life. She then called my local doctor and the "county-doctor", which proceded to call the police which proceded to take my license because I was at risk of driving under the influence. And I have been sober for a fucking year, with people snorting shit and smoking like crazy (because everyone I know is more or less doing -something- and would most likely just not invite me instead of just drinking) and I never did shit.

But I'M being treated as a criminal, even if they give out opiates to people with backproblems and benzos to people with anxiety, and don't think there is even the slightest possibilty that some of them might drive under the infuence. But me? Oh, I'…
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Martin Pummerbick - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 12:19:32 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513457 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513423
I definitely think she fucked you over too, but at the same time she's probably obligated by law to report what you said if it involves the potential for you to kill or maim somebody, including yourself. At the same time, she just ruined the trust between you two and the only way something like that relationship works is if the patient trusts you. It's really a catch-22 mane, it's unfortunate but I don't think that could've gone any other way. If you truly believe you need something like your license and you aren't going to hurt somebody (which you really do need it), even in situations where you're supposed to be perfectly open, you have to censor yourself. Obviously if you censor yourself too much, you can't get anything out of it, so it requires you to exercise some well thought-out judgment on what you can and can't reveal. You can't live without a job, so obviously mentioning things like this in the future should be something you only do if you believe you truly are so far gone with your issues that you may injure somebody.

unfortunately, it's now gone on record, so it's going to be known if you allow any future therapist to view your medical files or request informaiton from any previous therapists. This is why even though I see a psychologist I've only opened up about small bits of my drug use, and made sure it seemed like my abuse was only of OTC drugs like DXM or legal supplements, because at least then they know I have the drug problem but it isn't with popular or illicit drugs and they don't find the need to cut me off from certain medicinal prescriptions because of it. This information is going to stick around for pretty much ever, and even though I've got a problem, it's under control well enough now that my gamble of not telling them about the other drugs I have abused paid off. I knew I was committed to getting better, and I already had a diagnosis for what was wrong with me, so I didn't need them to know things that would limit treatment options in the future forever (if they need to establish a diagnosis or whatever though, you withholding information can definitely obstruct things in that regard, so it…
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Samuel Gapperdale - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 16:01:43 EST ID:TS/LM6vV No.513468 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513423
Well... I guess if you are too afraid to drive without a license you wouldn't be game for cutting that cunts throat. Kinda lame bro. But I guess that is like your life and all. Europe sounds really gay tbh fam
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Augustus Shittingstock - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 16:24:23 EST ID:V7etnEfJ No.513470 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I would recommend switching to a Lacanian psychoanalyst if possible. It's harder for you to get this deep in shit, most probably you would be told not to do any substance before or while driving, but not to the point of fucking you over with the law (assuming you reside in the US, analysts shouldn't have to disclose on such stuff).

You can try to locate one in your proximity, although from your words it's very unlikely there may be a clinic nearby. In such case, I'd recommend calling the nearest agency and speaking with individual analysts to ask if they do phone call analysis. This is what I'm currently doing myself since I have no means of getting there in presence.

Just do it. I don't think you will be given drugs, since in my experience they are only used when the analysand is really endangered (extremely suicidal thoughts/anxiety).

God bless you anon, you can make it.
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William Dridgeshaw - Thu, 16 Feb 2017 00:05:37 EST ID:XPXXTXPP No.513477 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Bah, que psicólogo cuzão, tchê!
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Nathaniel Fundleneg - Thu, 16 Feb 2017 14:05:12 EST ID:c7hkHH7V No.513483 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513477

Puto, aqui fala-se inglês, não sei se reparaste.


girfriend issue by Edwin Duckletug - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 23:04:54 EST ID:F0BX6Etq No.513428 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So I was in a relationship for over 5 years , we broke up ( reason Is that she left me and I cheated on her on multiple ocasions and eventually she found out ). The I didnt heal properly and ended in a rebound relationship. I have been with this new girl for at least half a year . The problem that I cannot stand ( I expect h8 for my simplistic and retarded view on woman ) is that this girl is way uglier than my ex. Dont get me wrong she is a much better person , but her apperance strikes me down every time ; every time we have an argument I think in my self wtf im I doing with this dog........... ffs. And even when I tell her how I feel she just ignores it , doesnt seem to quite get me serious . I dont know where to go I dont have any friends , since the break up (1 yr ago ) , some of my friend have moved abroad and others have just disapered from my life. Thanks for the advice PEACE
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Hannah Wegglefoot - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 00:28:01 EST ID:004PzrlT No.513429 Ignore Report Quick Reply
So you aren't that attracted to her and it's not even a good relationship

Why are you with her?
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Edward Clussleshaw - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 09:21:45 EST ID:JHxaDUEb No.513444 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Tbh you sound like a shit person so maybe work on yourself. Maybe alone, maybe with her. Whatever you want to do. But I mean all of your problems are about you.

You cheated on your ex
You're unable to accept your gfs appearance
You have no friends

Start with making some friends and seeing what is going on with that. There's a reason you have no friends that isn't that they all went away.
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Martin Pummerbick - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 10:37:28 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513448 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513444
>Start with making some friends and seeing what is going on with that. There's a reason you have no friends that isn't that they all went away.
This. I'm sorry man, but this is what happens when you put all your eggs in one basket. This is why you have to establish a support network, not rely exclusively on one person. You don't have to have many friends, but you need somebody whose friendship and support won't suddenly go away if things go wrong in something as volatile as a relationship. Make time for people mang
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Sidney Mocklefuck - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 20:38:58 EST ID:9He+zGlS No.513475 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513448
I do have friends but dont feel the sam way towards them since my best friend left me for my ex . Have some trust issues
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Matilda Grandfuck - Thu, 16 Feb 2017 08:27:50 EST ID:KveR7zNs No.513478 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513475
On one hand that's fickle behavior. On the other you were pretty terrible to this ex. I mean one thing I've found is that you don't want to be friends with terrible people. Your friends probably had trouble trusting you.

On the other hand if they knew about this the whole time and didn't kick up a fuss until she dumped you then they were actually terrible people as well. Either way you were awful, your friends might have been awful, don't let that stop you trusting good people. Though as I said, good people won't stand for your shit as you are now. The good news is you need to sort it. Why did you cheat? Why did you settle into a relationship you don't want to be in? Look at why you do these things and see if you can find better ways to cope with whatever it is.


Weed errday by Martin Drenderhall - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 13:21:23 EST ID:6PIOhE09 No.513460 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've seen threads where people lament their daily consumption of cannabis. Is it a thing or is it some broscience?
I smoke daily just because I feel mad depressed without it, but I'm considering a smoke break. Maybe I should socially isolate myself for a week without weed or nicotine just for fun :/ Maybe I'm not in such a good place right now.
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Martin Pummerbick - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 15:11:09 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513462 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Smoking everyday always helped me. Weed, back when I could smoke it, always had nothing but positive effects so long as I wasn't trying it for the first time after a long break. Sometimes doing that could lead to those times where you're infamously violently too high for a while.

But if I was smoking good shit 3-6 times a day, I was more easily able to deal with and think about my problems--usually feeling instantly better about anything bothering me a lot instantly after smoking and realizing I was taking things way too seriously and thing were how they were and I needed to approach things in a way that benefited me most even if it was uncomfortable. I also didn't suffer from near as much social anxiety and stopped hating people for merely existing in front of me (had severe anger issues). I don't have these issues really any more so things are fine, but I'm one of those people who never had negative effects from smoking all the time except for blowing all my fuckin cash on it.
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Martin Pummerbick - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 15:14:17 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513463 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Also, it's not uncommon to feel depressed after quitting a drug that seems to help with it, weed was the ultimate antidepressant for me too. In my experience, quitting for well over 2 months allows your brain to adjust back, but before then it's not wise to judge how depressed you are and say you need to smoke because it's helping. It's been the case with many of the drugs I've done that I've thought that way and it turned out the drugs were making me more depressed after regular usage than I was giving them credit for. I was 100% convinced I was just like that, and things at least got somewhat better after being off for an extended period of time (the only thing was I rarely used to stop drug use for any kind of extended period of time). At least, far more manageable than I thought it'd be.
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Polly Blatherridge - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 18:22:20 EST ID:5+e2llCv No.513472 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Weed made me happier, more social and a more well-rounded person for the first couple years. Over time it just started to enable my anti-social tendencies and helped me not give a shit that I was going absolutely nowhere in life. It affects everyone differently and you have to find what is right for you.
What I can say is that imposing social isolation on yourself is literally always a bad idea and cannot possibly lead to anything good.
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Matilda Grandfuck - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 19:20:27 EST ID:KveR7zNs No.513473 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Weed is rarely the cause of the problem however OP you practically spelled it out in your OP.

It is an anti depressant and people smoke it instead of actually dealing with what's making them miserable. It doesn't make you lonely as much as make being lonely easier so you're less motivated to fix it.

I very suddenly lost my connect 9 months ago and went from smoking every day to dry. I was only smoking it in the evening after I got back from the gym and I can see it didn't affect me negatively. It did however make it okay to be as antisocial as I am and it shouldn't be okay to have such a nonexistent social life. Of course since then my efforts have failed and I feel like I could really use it in the short run. But odds are I'd neglect my duty to myself to double the fuck back down and start arranging more shit.
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Cyril Sagglespear - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 19:30:54 EST ID:6PIOhE09 No.513474 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513472
Aw, man, I know all about social isolation. Going months without social contact is rough. I can handle weeks, but I slip when it's longer than that.

>>513473
>instead of actually dealing with what's making them miserable
I've spent years on introspection. I know what's going on but it's nothing I can really change


Valentines Day by Alice Cibblefuck - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 20:23:58 EST ID:5EayfceF No.513415 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Let's kill ourselves. No but seriously.

I cant tell the one I still like, I like her, cause 3 years ago I tried to kiss her and havnt seen her since. We get on and were talking online the other night. I get this 'Im fucked up and dont want to fuck your life up' vibe from her, maybe she likes me too but I dont know, she's so aloof. The thing is, she reminds me of the love interest of the main character in this story I wrote years ago, before I met her. Over time I have become this person, and meeting her, its like we are the same characters in an alternate reality. They have this kinda just friends thing going on in the story too. If only I could read her the story and see if she'd see the similarity. Then maybe she'd realise how I feel about her, and that we too can be saved.
She wont message me today, I know.
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Basil Baffingkutch - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 20:36:03 EST ID:+pDU0OrR No.513417 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Dude, just get over her. And don't tell me you can't do it; just have some self control and don't look at pictures of her or interact with her. You'll get over her sooner than you think. And don't show her that story to her unless she's the kind of person who would be into that. It might come off more creepy that you're projecting a fictional personality onto her than it will come off romantic, if that makes any sense.
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Alice Cibblefuck - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 20:47:57 EST ID:5EayfceF No.513420 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513417
yeah. I had forgot about her, quite often she pops up when Im meeting someone else I might be interested in. I dont know why I still like her. She is so far away, in many ways. I laid my cards on the table and well, Ive never had a girl act so offended when tryin to kiss her b4.
I probably am projecting but yeah, shes gotta come to me and I dont think thatll happen.
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Basil Baffingkutch - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 21:12:31 EST ID:+pDU0OrR No.513422 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513420
Yeah, if she acted really offended when you tried to kiss her then you probably don't have much of a chance. I don't think I'd want a prudish girl like that anyway TBH. My best advice is to try to get on with your life, and if you meet enough people then you will just forget about her. Don't try to find girls that imitate her; _replace_ her with someone better.
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Martin Pummerbick - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 12:01:26 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513454 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513415
I think if you still like her, definitely periodically reach out to her, but don't get your hopes up. If she is coming from that perspective, it's possible she won't respond well for a while even if she does kind of like you. I'm actually in the middle of being that way with a girl that likes me, mostly because we already went out once and I'm pretty sure my inadequacies at the time are what led to how short our relationship was. Even though she's acting super flirtatious and interested again, even though I'm mentally in a better place now, I'm not with my life and it keeps me from actually wanting to try again, especially since she's never been someone I've had a real crush on or anything. I like things about her and she's physically attractive, but right now I don't know how well I could commit to anything and that stops me from showing interest again beyond being "friends".

So, if she's in a similar place, unless you show some overwhelming interest and really let her talk to you about her problems or something and she just kinda realizes one day you literally don't give a shit and she's not saving you anything by not being with you, she's probably going to remain aloof. The girl that likes me would listen if I talked, but doesn't try very hard to actually keep contact necessarily (which I might have taught her to do with my own behavior, and she's a bit more traditional in the sense that she relies on the guy showing interest in her to really keep up contact), so right now I keep the thought of being with her again out of my mind. She isn't all that aware of how things are for me now, and I'm afraid it's a lot worse than she knows or expects, so again it only reinforces my decision not to pursue her.


I done fucked up by Basil Drozzlestane - Mon, 13 Feb 2017 09:12:48 EST ID:qmWJrJ6y No.513357 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Doesn't feel right being on the giving end of an emotional shitstorm. It's usually me getting fucked over. Couple of months ago, just after moving the city I live in now, I started talking to this girl online. I thought she was pretty cute, was into the same stuff as me, had a good sense of humour. So for a few days I went for it. Until (and this makes me feel awful in itself) we video chatted and I realised she wasn't nearly as attractive as her pictures made her look. She's fairly overweight and as much as I want to find her attractive, I can't force myself to. And upon getting to know her slightly better I've realised that her personality isn't as attractive as I thought it was either. I just don't see us ever being a good couple.

So from then I started trying to systematically withdraw from the situation. She was, and to some degree still is crazily into me, always telling me how gorgeous and funny and cute I am with me hardly ever returning the compliments. I told her multiple times that I don't want a girlfriend, but she insisted on coming to my city to meet me. Being the sex-starved piece of desperate shit I am, I slept with her. She brought me a PS4 game when she first properly met me and has lent me £300 towards a car I'm meant to be buying in a week (which I'd like to add whether she was my friend, girlfriend, enemy because I broke her fucking heart I have every intention of paying her back every penny and then some). And I wonder if this generosity is characteristic or she's just using excessive generosity to try and make me want to be with her. We're still not together, but I think she's just saying she's okay with a casual sex type situation in the hope that I'll eventually wanna get with her. But I don't even want that. I want it to stop, I feel guilty and wrong for last time and I don't want it to happen again. I'd gladly be friends with her because she's a nice girl, but that's all I want. But I can't think of any words I can use to say this without hurting her. She'll be hurt and confused and upset wondering why I slept with her if I'm not actually into her.

I'm such a cunt. I'm not loo…
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Martin Fettingworth - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 11:21:02 EST ID:7PrK/G+3 No.513392 Ignore Report Quick Reply
hey man, just keep being nice to her man, maybe dont bang her but just be a friend,
I dont mean you have to talk to her everyday, but just be nice when you do talk

Its not your fault, these things happen and cannot be helped and theres no way your a "piece of shit" for this.
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David Brerringworth - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 13:47:53 EST ID:qmWJrJ6y No.513395 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513392

Thanks bro. That's a nicer answer than I was expecting. But I just can't help but feel cruel because I'd probably totally wanna be with her if she was thinner and prettier. I wish I didn't care about physical appearance but I do and it's annoying :( I'm doing more or less exactly what you said at the moment but I don't know how to tell her I don't want sex again without hurting her or making her self-conscious..
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Basil Baffingkutch - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 20:32:40 EST ID:+pDU0OrR No.513416 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513357
Don't sweat it man. Just try to let her down easily. If she keeps contacting you then just give her short answers and cut off the convos after a couple of messages. Not much else you can do without making her feel bad. She'll still probably be hurt/confused, but it's better than stringing her along and doing more damage. Plenty of people get into situations like this, and you're not really asshole for doing that. I've been much more of an asshole to girls I've slept with before, trust me. I have reasons to feel guilty; you don't.
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Esther Budgepadging - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 11:42:30 EST ID:KveR7zNs No.513452 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513395
I would say this, beating yourself up achieves nothing. Sure you feel bad, you fucked up. But everyone fucks up. What's important is you learn from this. First of all try to make the best of this situation for all concerned. Secondly try to work out what you could do should events start to play out like this again, to avoid this.

Don't be one of those people who berates themselves then just keeps doing the same shit. It's far more important that you sincerely want to get it right next time than you wail and gnash your teeth. A lot of people make all the noise but when the times comes to act they don't.

As far as your "shallowness" goes the thing about this that most people actually care about physical attraction. And you have to be honest with yourself. You both deserve better than a relationship in which one partner does not want to have sex. I'm not saying everyone should be aiming for the hottest thing ever but you've got to want to fuck, kiss and generally press yourself up against a person. What makes someone shallow is when they become too hung up on this, they ignore things like whether they enjoy hanging out and if that person is a decent or healthy individual or turn down people who are great but only "attractive enough". It's not easy to get entirely right even if you wan to though. It's just what people. I don't like it but it's us. I lost 140 pounds because I had to accept the truth. Then I realised it wouldn't save me from myself and would always be repulsive to women but hey at least my athsma's gone, I fit into normal clothes, don't feel self conscious in public and EVERYTHING is easier.

Interestingly usually the first rule of internet "dating" is meet someone before getting attached. Usually because they won't want to meet if they're fake but in this case it's her who would have been protected so it protects the other person too.

Anyway what the other guy said about let her down gently. Don't be too gentle. Dragging shit out, giving her false hope, giving her anything remotely ambiguous or "this might change" even that could be interpreted that way under cert…
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Martin Pummerbick - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 11:54:32 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513453 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513395
The fact you feel bad about it means you aren't a shit person. There's nothing wrong with having preferences, but it's different if you go about this feeling there isn't anything wrong with just shitting on somebody for their appearance and don't respect her as a person. You obviously have a healthy level of respect for her as a human being, but you can't change how you feel. Someone isn't entitled to sex or being with you, you know? I think you're perfectly fine in this situation, even if I may have personally handled it differently (not saying I necessarily would have, everybody's different though so it's just likely I probably would have, and same goes for everyone else--it's okay for you to be you mane).


Form of release by E.S.P - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 18:51:40 EST ID:5/88HMUm No.513404 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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The things I do; nobody really needs to understand why I do them. As long as they just understand that I did what I did for the sole purpose of satisfying my own carnal desire.
An urge that I was brought into this world with. The sole reason for an existence such as my own can be summed up as a "want".

The root of my irrationally hedonistic mentality is unknown to myself, but maybe an individual looking at me would be able to discern its cause. Maybe this is why I limit my interactions the the bare minimum, I think I might be scared of finding out about myself.

My thoughts are jumpy. I feel electrical, well my brain does. It's not very comfortable.

They often say that it's imperative to see from another perspective from time to time. Who's they? I don't have the faintest idea. I just know that I say "I" a lot, and I don't understand why it causes me so much frustration. Okay, I'm going to vent, I hope it works.

Maybe my lack of diligence when it comes to things like research and self improvement has caused such a disgusting habit.

I don't know why I'm writing this shit on a bbs board right now, but every time I press in a key I feel a bit lighter inside. It's 6:31pm right now and I should be studying beacause... At this moment, out there in the world, some young adult is thinking about how he or she wants to attend school and receive a proper education, for the purpose of bettering their life. And here I am, the little shit, squandering my opportunity at a better future. Or maybe I just said that to trick myself into thinking that I'm able to adopt an ethically correct mindset like that, but it would only be for the purpose of gaining approval? How like me. I'm a mass of restless energy that can't help but sit still.

TLDR, I think I need someone to reccomend a way of coping with my own energy, so I can continue with my life and stop doing all the drugs, and wasting all the time.
Do physical activities relieve this feeling for anyone, they haven't done me any good yet.
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Martin Pummerbick - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 19:20:45 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513408 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513404
> nobody really needs to understand why I do them
Why do you care what people think about what you're doing. In a majority of cases (save those people who are in a personal relationship with you and are simply worried about you), they might make a snap judgment but for the most part they couldn't give less of a shit about you. What are you to them, other than someone they saw or heard did something once or a few times? They honestly don't give it more than a single thought, so why do you care what they think? I think most people understand perfectly well that what most people do, especially when it's dumb, is for the sole purpose of satisfying their own carnal desire. They're also aware it's a desire you were brought into the world with, because they have the same basic desires themselves. Everybody's existence is a filled with desire, lol. You can rest assured people already assume all that about you m8
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Martin Pummerbick - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 19:23:27 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513409 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Fuck I accidentally hit enter before I was done. In any case, yes, rigorous physical activity helps. If you're just doing 30 minutes a day or something, you're going to be a bit healthier but it's not going to actually do much in helping stop drug abuse. A big part of quitting is being determined to quit though. Don't be expecting an easy way to stop, it's going to be a fuckin grind the entire time. You're going to have to learn to cope with reality in an entirely different way and to seek and derive pleasure and joy from other methods. Honestly those methods are highly personal and it's hard to give advice on what to do for that. It's really something you have to find out for yourself by putting a solid effort into not being a drug fiend any more. I deal with it on a daily basis nigga
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E.S.P - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 19:37:08 EST ID:5/88HMUm No.513413 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513408
You're right, its the insecurities riling me up, must be.

Putting yourself down is a full time job and I've been working overtime for way too long, thanks brotha.
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Martin Pummerbick - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 10:57:36 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513450 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513413
Any time man, I'm glad you responded in a positive way though, it means you're definitely interested in getting better. This shit isn't easy. I was a bit harsh in how I put it, but it's how I had to first start convincing myself before it really sunk in and I can just admit no one really cares in a jovial manner. I basically had to chastise myself into realizing I was making myself the center of attention in people's lives in my mind.
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Martin Pummerbick - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 11:01:45 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513451 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Also, regarding what I said:
>, it's going to be a fuckin grind the entire time
It's true, but I should've mentioned it's got a ridiculous learning curve. Once you're past the curve, it's much easier to manage, but the fact remains you'll be managing it most likely all your life. Addiction is some weird shit, because it literally changes neurological functions in a way that causes ridiculous cravings out of nowhere that happen repeatedly and then go away sometimes for a little while, making you feel like you're better. On top of that, the executive functions involved in impulse control are compromised, making the cravings that much harder to deal with. Same thing can happen with brain injuries too, so if you've ever had a concussion or multiple, that can play into things. It's definitely not an excuse and doesn't waive liability for relapse, but it's nice knowing there's something going on and you're not just a total fuck up.


My entire life is falling apart by Cornelius Shakedale - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 01:39:44 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.513432 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>On probation, its kinda sketch
>Work at a shitty gas station job where everyone hates me
>Insurmountable debt from school loans and random legal bullshit and just debts from over the years
>About to drop out of school, probably have missed about 1/3 of my classes this semester
>Found out i'm getting sued today, just blew my student load reimbursement on a bunch of heady bullshit (grassroots california hats, harem pants, third eye pinecones, etc)
>Drive a shitty car, it isnt even mine, im borrowing it from my folks,
>Have an interview tomorrow


I'm literally about to drop out of school to go to this job, but i'm not even concerned. I miss manual labor, I miss having money. But I am in so fucking far over my head its not even funny. If I dont get this job, I have literally no idea what I'm going to do. My plan is to pay off all this shit, get off probation, learn forex, get in decent shape, save up 10-20 g's, and leave this state once and for all. But thats 3+ years ahead of me.

Yea I make alot of dumbass decisions but I don't know how to cope with life. I see a therapist but it doesn't really help and never really has. I got off all drugs and booze and i'm still a major fuckup.
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Simon Murringgold - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 01:57:37 EST ID:fFco0KOe No.513433 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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You're clean and sober, you are looking forward at least 3 years into the future, you even seen a therapist (for all the good you feel it does you, I know). You have some definite future plans and I like the sound of them. Whoa there, and take a deep breath right now and appreciate your struggle to be where you are, who you are, and who you will become. You're not a dumbass, you're a beautiful, messy person who is figuring out life.

Nail that interview tomorrow, you are putting one foot ahead of the other and changing your life to where and how you want to live it and I am proud of you.

Your entire life is coming together.
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Cornelius Shakedale - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:09:19 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.513434 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513433
Thank you simon, cool pic btw
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Eugene Blinderham - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 02:31:02 EST ID:XPUdLOGC No.513435 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>513432
I sort of know the feel. I already dropped out of college, have quite a bit of debt.
Like 20k keeps rising by like 300 a month just from interest raping me.
just keep werking and stay happy. i guess idk. ..its what i do
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Martin Pummerbick - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 10:33:09 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513447 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513432
Hey man, I'm in a similar place minus the shit with the law. A lot of it is self-inflicted, and a lot of it you'll get yourself out of, even if it takes a while. Again, same as me. I've felt completely out of my depth for the last 3 years but I've been making solid progress even if it's hard to tell from the outside looking in. Eventually there'll be something to show for it.

The kind of stuff you're dealing with is the kind of stuff that takes years to recover from, because whether it seems like it or not it took years to get there. The drug and alcohol stuff is mostly what I'm talking about, but I'm an addict dealing with having to be sober too. Even if it got to a tipping point all at once, this is a problem years in the making, and it's gonna take at least as long to really get out of. That's just how it is, it's not as unfair as it seems either really. It sucks ass, especially since you were using drugs because you didn't know how to deal with reality either back then, and having to learn to cope with shit a healthy way without them can be a huge ordeal. However, it's insurance for the future, because most people are liable to lose more later on for not having something as big as this erupt when they were young. You're basically dealing with a big problem right away when you aren't liable to lose something like a real high up position at a good job or breaking up a family you've built and been a part of for years, where things would truly seem hopeless. Right now it sucks, but you're at a point where you can actually rebound if you try hard enough to get your shit together. When you actually do, you'll feel that much better about yourself for having been able to do it and to know how to deal with those kinds of problems in the future.


Are u there Jesus? by Charles Nemmledale - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 05:59:55 EST ID:ftUbdP4j No.513438 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Wow I dream a lot but last night I was hanging with a girl with a drink and drug problem. I agreed to take acid with her and then I met Jesus. I have to remember what he said omg
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Augustus Shittingbury - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 06:04:59 EST ID:9vn86lM+ No.513440 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513438

he probably told you that he forgives you.
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Charles Nemmledale - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 06:25:05 EST ID:ftUbdP4j No.513441 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513440
It was more unexpected. I tried to write it down but I was still dreaming so dont have the page.
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Augustus Shittingbury - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 07:06:44 EST ID:9vn86lM+ No.513442 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513441

When is seeing jesus ever expected?

Whenever you see jesus in your dreams you feel like you have done something wrong and want forgiveness for whatever you did.
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Fanny Doblingstire - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 07:43:34 EST ID:35+jbzpY No.513443 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I bet Jesus just wanted to talk about Jesus Christ, our Lord and savior. Self-serving prick.
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Martin Pummerbick - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 10:24:11 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513446 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513443
Hey man, Jesus isn't the same as his Dad, don't be confusing them even if they are the same person technically. He's a lot more down to Earth, you feel me?


I Want to Live by Oliver Dummleford - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 01:11:13 EST ID:G13f1wB5 No.513430 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I feel like I'm stuck. I've been going back to College and I'm living at home. By the summer I will have an AA. But i have no adventure. Well what should i plan for the summer to get me through this. I guess this is both a personal issue maybe travel. It doesn't have to be far. How can i make the most of this time before the four year school if I get in.
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Oliver Dummleford - Wed, 15 Feb 2017 01:13:18 EST ID:G13f1wB5 No.513431 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I Finished with Community College in the summer to clarify nb


Getting this out of my system by Sophie Curringlork - Mon, 13 Feb 2017 15:28:23 EST ID:004PzrlT No.513364 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I look at my past and present and future and things seem pretty fucking bleak. I was born to terrible parents who abused me and each other and didn't prepare me for life in the slightest. Everyone in my family and just about everyone I know is poor as fuck and lead pretty empty lives. I live in a desolate shithole in nowhere, America surrounded by strip malls and fast food joints and payday loan scammers. I was suicidal for years for a whole host of reasons. Did a year of community college, zero interest in doing more even if I had the means. Never had a job that wasn't under the table, never created a resume in my life, as much of a joke as that whole process is, never been with a woman.

All I want out of life is a kitchen, somewhere to shit and bathe, a bed, a few books, music, and people in my life that I love who love me. Shit ain't easy when you're broke and dysfunctional. I'm doing better than ever mentally, but now that I've largely gotten over the hurdle of wanting to die every day and being consumed by hopelessness, and have finally started feeling like I could be happy and functional and maybe even loved, I don't really see any good avenues open to me. The reality of poverty is being consumed by demoralizing and dehumanizing work for most of your waking hours (and thus, most of your one and only life on this Earth, which is being pissed away utterly for somebody else's profit, and which you will not get a chance to do over if you realize on your deathbed how much time you wasted) and then not having the energy for much of anything else. This is how the people around me live. They work all week, are too tired to do anything with the precious few hours they have left when they get home, and repeat this process for 5/7 of their lives, if they're that lucky. Lord knows if the money-hungry had their way we'd all be slaves and days off would be a distant memory. Why would anyone have any interest in doing this? Most of the time you aren't doing anything that actually helps anyone or makes the world a better place; oftentimes it's the opposite. But that's where the most money is, fucking somebody. I have no problem with work; I've done hard physical …
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Martin Cluffingcocke - Mon, 13 Feb 2017 17:38:25 EST ID:N4C7HfN0 No.513365 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Are you my hetero-lifemate? "I want to have a life and make music and be treated like a human being and treat others like human beings. Fuck." By God I'm so happy knowing that I'm not the only one on the Earth who wants this. Everything else you written down resonates with me so much, except the parents part.

Work is just a fact of life. It's the tradeoff we all make to have a roof over our heads, food, and simple pleasures. Despite the bullshit in society, things are actually quite communal. Everyone contributes to the common good to make sure we have infrastructure, resources, and protection from outside threats. The real issue here is that people take on too much because they feel they ought too. They buy things they don't need, have kids the world can't support, and they give into conveniences to meet their self-imposed obligations despite being stretched thin. This creates a shitty cycle of debt-bondage and emotional drainage that just isn't for people like you and me. Generations in the past would be shamed for this "selfishness", but luckily it seems like this generation is pretty woke when it comes to this. You don't have to fall into this lifestyle.

I'd say dig in and start looking into trade schools or college degrees. If that's not an option, try finding a Dollar Tree Distribution warehouse nearby. They hire anyone, it's easy enough, and the pay starts out at $12 an hour. And try not to focus on the existential dread.
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Shitting Blondleworth - Mon, 13 Feb 2017 23:33:20 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513368 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513364
I can empathize with p much everything you wrote but i have to ask
> I don't want to spend 50 hours a week working just to barely scrape
Where is it you would work for 50 hours a week and barely scrape by? Where do you live, is rent that fucked there? Around here my friend works at a decent factory job, which sucks for him to have to work at, and he works roughly that many hours a week, but he makes enough money now that he's doing pretty well for himself. He's definitely doing better than scraping by. I don't know any places you can work that allow you overtime like that where you will make so little that you can barely scrape by. Maybe I'm just getting lost in the details here, but I feel like it's important to mention that if you're working a job getting that many hours, you're likely going to be able to afford living on your own just fine without many issues with money unless you spend it like a madman on a drug habit or something.
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Polly Buddlepune - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 22:27:28 EST ID:F6BBbLXR No.513425 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>513364
>I want to have a life and make music and be treated like a human being and treat others like human beings.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_i-wdh57ZFI


Getting Older and Clueless by David Blengerfetch - Sun, 12 Feb 2017 20:30:20 EST ID:wcR9wfzO No.513344 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've been in the same town for seven years, ever since I received my Master's degree. I don't live with my family (my mother is dead and my father is the reason why I have a broken life), but I live in poverty and there really isn't anything going for me. I'm 33 and I feel like I've run out of options, although I'm not in debt or anything. I want to move, but I have no idea where I'd want to move to and for some reason everywhere else is a lot more expensive than here (I live in Northern Idaho).

I used to spend my time reading and writing, but I don't have the focus or even the motivation anymore, especially since I've been emotionally dragged up in the whole "Muslims are rapist chimps that are destroying Europe" thing. I've tried not to focus on that, but to no avail. I have stopped drinking alcohol and smoking entirely over the past six weeks, which is miraculous given that I got drunk almost every night for roughly six years.

I can't use my degree for anything, and I know better than to go back to university. I want to move on in my life and do something with myself, but I really have no idea what to do. I feel like I'm in a dead end. What should I do?
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Barnaby Muddlechedging - Sun, 12 Feb 2017 21:25:16 EST ID:1AjM9uOY No.513346 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Start working out if you haven't been, you'll actually get results now that you aren't drinking. Ordinarily I'd say moving is never a solution to a crisis like this but idk about Idaho. Focus on positive shit about yourself that women are looking for, since that's what this is probably all about, right? You got a job, degree, car, nothing too crazy on your arrest record, you're set man. Get on POF or whatever people use in their 30s and take it seriously and you will find a companion who's into the same shit as you. I guarantee getting laid and having someone to do stuff with will enrich your life.
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Augustus Danderway - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 00:31:31 EST ID:wcR9wfzO No.513378 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>513345

Wow, I'm sorry about that. I'd hate to be used like that by a company.

I used to drink at least six pints of beer a night, sometimes more. It seems like a fucking waste now. I mean, why? Then again, having to see my mother die in front of me and my father being the way he is did scar me a little bit; I'd say that it is fair that I'd have a drinking problem for a while. But you have to get over it eventually, or else it kills you :/

I am not sure if you should go back to college. I wouldn't; there just aren't very many jobs anymore, and college debt is usually very serious in the US. I've thought about getting a certification sometime, but I have to wait a few years for that. Fortunately I'm not poor enough to be homeless or whatever; since I've stopped drinking, I don't really spend any money.

>>513346

I'm not motivated enough to work out; I'm not built to be too muscular, and I'm already losing a lot of weight. It would be fair to say that I'm not overweight anymore, or at least I won't be soon.

Yeah, the town that I live in is nice enough, but I've just been here for too long. I really don't know why it is cheap to live here; it has a university and stuff. The population is about 25,000 which is a small town in most parts of the country, but that is somewhat large here. There is a city about a hundred miles away, but it is known for being a bad place to live (I personally don't dislike it, but I've heard a lot of bad things).

I'm not gay but I don't really care about getting laid. I used to, but now I just like reading books and playing games. I don't look at porn as much because it just seems so bland to me these days. I really don't know why. What I do know, is that I have serious commitment issues from having a father that replaced my dead mother like she was nothing, and not getting love or acceptance from anyone. I've been neglected all my life, and now I can't connect to anyone. Also I've wanted to be a woman in the past, but I think that was partially due to mental illness. I still sort of do, but how? I'd just end up killing myself.
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Sophie Chandlespear - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 01:14:27 EST ID:/vuTUD3m No.513379 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513344
In regards in being affected by political situations, it really helps to cut off your daily consumption of political news... or go as far as to make it weekly. Although I'm assuming your news quality maybe better than someone like me in Burgerland, there's still the issue of such discussion being cancerous on the internet with shitposters shitposting for likes and retweets.

Might be best to download something like StayFocused or something similar so you can block yourself from visiting certain sites for a certain time.
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James Noshhid - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 15:29:19 EST ID:+pDU0OrR No.513401 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513378
Yeah man, sometimes you need to get out of the house. Especially if you start hearing things. My best suggestion for soothing insanity is to spend time with people who aren't totally fucked up themselves. And stop using drugs and drinking if you can. I went through some rough shit last year and stopped drinking for about 5 months, and my life has gotten categorically better since then. I drink occasionally now, but I'm certainly not reliant on it.
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James Noshhid - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 15:29:19 EST ID:+pDU0OrR No.513402 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513378
Yeah man, sometimes you need to get out of the house. Especially if you start hearing things. My best suggestion for soothing insanity is to spend time with people who aren't totally fucked up themselves. And stop using drugs and drinking if you can. I went through some rough shit last year and stopped drinking for about 5 months, and my life has gotten categorically better since then. I drink occasionally now, but I'm certainly not reliant on it.


Whats wrong with me ? by Thomas Pogglehall - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 08:50:41 EST ID:QtS54asz No.513384 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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> be 20
> eat my boogers
> play with my beard, eat my hair
> watch porn like 6 times a day
> watch all the new gore videos until there are no more
> always anxious
> always thinking about what i should have done, what i havent done, thinking about each word someone said to me
> cyberbullying is my hobbie
> codeine addict
> weed addict (?) not sure i m addict but I "vape" weed every night
> self confidence really low
> don't trust anyone, even my family ( above all my family )
> as neutral as possible


Seriously , should I see a psy ? Whats wrong with me ?P
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Thomas Pogglehall - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 09:13:57 EST ID:QtS54asz No.513386 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513385
Thank you for your answer but you don't really help me.
It doesnt help me deal with my anxiety, my low self confidence, my addictions.
You re just telling me " stop being a bitch ". I know it, but i dont know what to do
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Shitting Blondleworth - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 10:26:03 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513387 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513386
Dude, what kind of answer do you think is actually going to help you? You're expecting some kind of magic bullet. Honestly, the only somewhat magic bullet out there is just getting over it and doing it, or "stop being a bitch" as you like to put it. I'm speaking from personal experience, it's possible he is too. There's no way to make things easier to do so you have a smooth, comfortable ride trying to get better. This attitude is exactly why you are where you are. Again, I'm speaking from personal experience myself, I used to be the same way minus the booger and hair eating.
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Martin Fettingworth - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 11:14:01 EST ID:7PrK/G+3 No.513391 Ignore Report Quick Reply
start lifting, if youre jacknig it six times a day, fix your zinc deficiency
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Lillian Crillyhood - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 11:39:54 EST ID:QVcoJ6HE No.513393 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513385

he cant go to a bar hes only 20 lol

(inb4 yurop)
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Archie Pockleson - Tue, 14 Feb 2017 13:38:47 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.513394 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513384

Yeah OP, the other people already nailed it because to an extent, we've been there.

It's called experience. You're talking to a crowd of old(er) hats here and we've done something similar to where you're at now.

Society has alot of expectations of you now, and it gets worse each year you age. It's that divide you should've felt during your teenage years; who you want to be vs what everyone else wants you to be.

Trust me when I say this: Go outside and do shit. You're early 20s can be fun as fuck if you go outside and do shit. Go to college or something. College is the place you go when you either:

a) Have a carefully crafted plan of your career goals that involves an education in a particular field

b) Don't know what the fuck your doing and need some time to figure it all out

You'll find more of the latter than the former.


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