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What the fuck even by Simon Blummerwidge - Fri, 18 Aug 2017 21:26:37 EST ID:oudCRWwU No.518159 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I don't really have a place to talk about things that happen in my life I just feel like I need to get some things off my chest and this is a pretty low key place to do so. To preface this I cannot seek professional help I would if I could but it would end my career professionally.

About a month ago my best friend a person I was very close with a lover of sorts I would even say committed suicide, she texted me the night she did it telling me she felt suicidal but I got the message late since I was at work. I was mad at her about some dumb bullshit so I just wrote it off (she talked about suicide alot usually if she was having actual issues she would call me or talk to her mother or call 911.) I should have called her, I should have replied as soon as I read it. but I didnt I dont know why I just was tired from work I guess and mad at her and I didn't feel like dealing with it. I know she was having issues about the death of one of her friends who died in a car accident they were both in. I should have put two and two together and realized she was being serious this time. anyway its been a few weeks since it happened my personal life isnt much to speak of she was the only person I really talk to on a daily basis (sometimes weekly) that wasnt someone I worked with. The first few days I just felt empty inside I would get random spikes of anger or serious depression some days I would just stare at a wall. that went on for a while and I thought I was over it but for the last few nights I cant sleep. Well I can sleep but every time I do its the same type of dream. Im sitting on a beach with someone I know usually my grandfather or a teacher I knew from school. they say things but I cant understand then I start hearing my dead friend talk to me and I get up and walk into the ocean and as I do her voice gets louder then I start sinking into the water start drowning and die then I wake up. Last night alone that dream happened 3 times I woke up 6 times that night every two hours or so.

I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me and I really dont have anyone to go to about this so Im spilling my guts here.
Isabella Hobblelock - Fri, 18 Aug 2017 21:32:54 EST ID:/brn2RiX No.518160 Ignore Report Quick Reply
it is not your fault. it was her choice. i am sorry for your pain. it will never disappear but it will reduce over time.

Asexual or just sad by Cedric Drodgefoot - Fri, 18 Aug 2017 18:05:52 EST ID:C2LZTezo No.518148 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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IDK if know if I'm asexual, or have no desire for sex because I'm I depressed. I've had one year+ relation and I was for sure in love with her but since we broke up I've had no serious desire to be with other people. I'm not hung up on her so that's not it. I had a fair amount of fuck buddies before I met her too, so I know what I'm missing on both ends. I just feel like... idk, it's over rated? Animals make much better company really, so my plan is to just do that. I still fap sometimes, but it's just mechanical. It's not like sex/love revolt me, I'd just don't care

The question: Should I care about my lack of care for romantic human contact? I haven't really in the last 2 years, but I saw a therapist recently for my life long depression. I've stopped seeing her because she was dumb and expensive, but I feel like I got asked why I don't have a girlfriend a lot and I would explain as above. Her opinion was that I was just waiting for someone right but idk if I was able to explain it right (or if I still am).

Going to my cousins wedding soon so was kinda thinking about this sort of stuff (it's at a camping ground in Colorado, so fucking stoked)
Barnaby Sackledale - Fri, 18 Aug 2017 18:47:13 EST ID:2cRqUGEL No.518151 Ignore Report Quick Reply
do you have sexual desire at all?
i.e. do you feel lust for someone? Do you watch porn and (somewhat) enjoy it? Could you go your entire life without sex (even if you're in a relationship with someone) and be completely fine/happy with it? Do you/have you enjoyed sex?

Asexuality is more than feeling "meh" about sex, it's just the sheer lack of drive. Emotional connections can still be formed, but it's when you NEVER feel a desire to bone/be boned no matter what the circumstances. I personally dislike sex a lot of the time for my own reasons, but I am in no way asexual because I still have some desire on rare occassions, and even if the actual result is unpleasant the idea is nice.
You're probably just sad. depression kills sex drive. No desire to be with anyone could be a combination of not being ready and not caring because you're in a bad place.

Also obligatory
>maybe you're gay?
Edwin Claywell - Fri, 18 Aug 2017 20:58:48 EST ID:xq9X5xB/ No.518157 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Just don't rest on your laurels man. You're happy being alone? Fine. Just don't let it slip. Keep working on yourself. Keep working on your depression. Build intimate honest friendships and have novel experiences and you'll be awesome even if you have no desire to bust a bit inside someone.
Shitting Winnerdot - Fri, 18 Aug 2017 21:13:48 EST ID:vfShsVuP No.518158 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>dat webm
>aww, whats it taste like? farts mostly farts
>teens are calling it butt hash.

Fuck, I had a good lol..

Anxiety attacks around people by Jenny Packlebug - Thu, 17 Aug 2017 07:19:28 EST ID:MoLhhJRI No.518114 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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For a long time I was seriously depressed and suicidal, mostly because I realized that I will be forever a spider monkey's butt.

I learned to deal with that by retreating from society and avoiding contact with people, mostly women. I mentally blocked that whole dimension of life from my brain and for the last year or so I never had a really bad day or suicidal thoughts.

But now I have another issue. Whenever I'm out in pubic I get anxiety attacks and an overload of emotions. I don't really have the mental fortitude to revisit those dark thoughts again but they come flooding back every time I'm out in public.

How am I supposed to deal with this shit?
Archie Tootcocke - Thu, 17 Aug 2017 10:46:04 EST ID:XPZ1UiOm No.518116 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You need to give more info
Henry Dedgefield - Thu, 17 Aug 2017 13:28:29 EST ID:f+dkZbsN No.518122 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You're going to have to learn to face them. You can't run from anxiety, that makes it stronger.

I've found dealing with the realisation that you can't approach women and they avoid you is easier if the rest of your life is A1 or as close to it as possible. Stop hiding and get everything else in order. Accept you're going to feel like shit sometimes but try to make as many good times as possible. In the short run you have to metaphorically eat shit to get a better life. But first come up with a plan, one with tiny manageable chunks that starts slowly and builds up as each level gets easy.

Maybe you'll even enjoy love for a bit. It's not the be all and end all of life. I won't lie it's pretty fucking good if you can get it, but being in a toxic relationship is worse than being single so even if you die a virgin others had it worse than you.

Also anxiety feeds on anxiety over anxiety. You're also afraid of the anxiety. You probably need to a) start confronting those emotions in private and b) making short trips in public so you they're not as strong when they come out. Most emotional shit is only half and half curing the problem and learning to live with the rest.
Jenny Packlebug - Thu, 17 Aug 2017 13:35:06 EST ID:MoLhhJRI No.518124 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Well it all started when I moved to another city and started a new life. It was a horrible decision, in retrospect. I befriended a new group of people that seemed cool. I didn't get close to them but we could hang out during off hours at the university.

At this point I was 18 and completely inexperienced in matters of love, mostly out of choice (or so I thought). Well as the months went by I saw that my new group of friends provided ample opportunities to meet up with girls. Well I tried. I think I do well enough in the personality department because everyone was receptive and kind and took interest in me and women especially seemed keen to befriend me without any effort from my part. Alas, they all turned me down when I tried to date them. Well at that point I was starting to get really depressed about the whole ordeal. The I tried Tinder and got basically 0 matches, without even being selective. Then I started realizing just how unattractive I was. See, the problem is that I'm short, like a real short ass (5'3), but up till I was 18, the fact never bothered me. I was never bullied or anything. Nobody ever told me that being short is bad. But apparently in dating, being short is a complete deal breaker. Great. Whatever, I got depressed. Realized my life is going to be way harder than I ever anticipated. It got really bad. I was suicidal before going to university but after realizing just how bad I had it, it got to the point were I was afraid I would impulsively leap in front of a bus or jump outside of my balcony.

Anyway, I basically got angry and bitter and withdrew from society. Barely ever leaving my apartment unless I really had to. But this turned out to be a good move. The less I interacted with people the less I remembered how shit of a situation I found myself in and eventually I go to a point where I was just happy to consider my future alone.

Yesterday happened to be a really nice sunny day and I happen to love nature and the outdoors but my leg was hurt from a previous cycling trip (sometimes I go on cycling trips, alone) so I decided to go to the city park instead of the usual secluded areas amongst the fields.

Well BIG MISTAKE. I just was alone in this …
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John Clommlesore - Fri, 18 Aug 2017 00:01:48 EST ID:o3vIoRWZ No.518138 Ignore Report Quick Reply
First, stop making excuses that mask the underlying problem. Your loneliness is completely self-imposed. Nothing to do with your height. None of us are perfect partners, we're all flawed in one way or another.

Second, accept the fact that life is HARD, listen friend, NOBODY of us was prepared for it being so fucking terribly unbelievably hard, oooh nooo, we weren't, no more than you. Fuck no.

But we learn to love our imperfect selves and always strive to be better. But we learn to enjoy the sunlight and people's laughter even when the weight of the world is pressing our shoulders. You learn to fight. You learn to stop and smell the roses.

You think that those people laughing in park are different than you? You think they are better or have it better than you? You are oh so mistaken.
John Clommlesore - Fri, 18 Aug 2017 01:27:37 EST ID:o3vIoRWZ No.518139 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Just because I've get nothing better to do, let me illustrate my last paragraph.

That smiling chick sharing an ice-cream with her friend? Her mom's dying of cancer. That enthusiastic jogger that just passed you? He just got laid off, and still has the majority of his mortgage to pay. That happy couple you just saw kissing? His ex cheated on him, and her ex beat her.

Dude, life is scary. Life is hard. I... I wish I could give you courage and strength. I can't, not this way. I can just try to assure you you're not alone.

Best friend tried to commit suicide, don't know how to act by William Sullyback - Thu, 17 Aug 2017 12:21:15 EST ID:vPXIYoJk No.518119 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So basically, it went like this:
>friend went absent or some days
>didn't notice it, we normally expend days without talking
>suddenly says we need to hang out one day that he has some stuff he needs to say
>he says it in a way that looks cheerful so i thought it was something good that happened
>asks if he wanna do some acid
>tells he can't do drugs
>i joked he probably meet Jesus and converted
>"heh, almost"
>after somedays without being able to meet him, ask him what it was
>he tells me he tried to kill himself
>basically he overdosed on paracetamol
>didn't feel shit at first so he went to sleep unknowing it takes time to work
>waked up thinking it didn't work and went for a walk only to start puking blood in a public area
>people around take him to a hospital
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William Sullyback - Thu, 17 Aug 2017 12:22:03 EST ID:vPXIYoJk No.518120 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Sorry for the double thread, i thought the first time it didn't work.

help by Molly Brookgold - Thu, 17 Aug 2017 06:22:27 EST ID:w/0OYgpr No.518113 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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theres this girl who cheated on me when we were younger

fuck, i had better pussy than her before, far better.

but i was obsessed with this girl when we were kids, and we were friends for a bit, and i fucked around with her eventually and got fucked over. we didnt talk for 4 years. i got way better pussy after.

We met at a party this past spring, i took her home and we laid together and talked for hours. she told me that she had been straight up drinking every day since we broke up basically and was a hardcore drunk. She started hanging around, she'd come to my house on the weekends and she'd watch me play super nintendo and my clown show of friends would come over.

She ended up leaving the state to get clean from drinking. she did and shes prettier now. But it isnt about that

i want to cum in this girls pussy so hard, i want to make love, i want to spend hours fucking and making love to this girl and giving her everything. I know I can make her orgasm, when we were kids she never felt it but in recent times she said she did. And than she was a dirty drunk, but shes clean now.

I cant describe how i feel, i want to lay with this girl for a weekend and make her orgasm and cum inside of her constantly. I can't tell her about this over the internet, it'd be creepy and she'd laugh, and i can't leave the state atm due to extenuating circumstances and insufficient funds. what do i do?

I think she has another dude now but it doesnt matter, the thing between us is unreal
Phoebe Drinderstone - Thu, 17 Aug 2017 12:14:11 EST ID:emFb8tOL No.518117 Ignore Report Quick Reply
sounds pretty toxic. I'd forget her if I were you.
Alice Huzzlegold - Thu, 17 Aug 2017 20:03:35 EST ID:xq9X5xB/ No.518134 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Pretty much when you have feelings for somebody and the other person is flakey about returning those feelings, your body decides to double down and give you even more feelings to make sure you fuck her.

That's what's happening.
Phoebe Blythespear - Mon, 04 Dec 2017 01:37:12 EST ID:dSPy0yiU No.520465 Ignore Report Quick Reply

cant sleep wont sleep by Fanny Pabblenut - Sat, 29 Jul 2017 01:28:36 EST ID:XS6JMhmD No.517751 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I'm pretty drunk so this is almost certainly gonna turn into a stream of consciousness shitpost, so apologies for that in advance. Still if anybody bothers to read through it and has any advice I'd love to hear it because I don't know what the fuck.

Where in the good goddamn do you meet people? I'm 23 and these apps or dating websites won't work because anybody on there my age is either just looking for a quick fuck or is insane and wants a family now RIGHT NOW GODDAMNIT NOW. I want something serious insofar as, ideally, we'd just stay together and get married and do all that shit. That's not The Plan™, I'm not looking for a wife or somebody to have a family with, but I'm not just looking to fuck somebody either, you know? It's this weird middle ground that I don't know where to go for.

I can't go to the pub on campus because A) nobody goes their alone and trying to pick up girls there is both impossible because niggas just wanna hang out with their friends, and creepy because people are just trying to hang out with their friends. Dating sites and apps and whatever are off the table for reasons I already went through. The problem is what's left? Work? People you meet through friends? Russian mail order brides?

I know every asocial weirdo since the dawn of man probably felt like this but fucking A, I'm too weird to be normal and too normal to be weird. I'm stuck in this limbo where I don't entirely fit in with regular people but nor do I fit in with the outcasts, which ironically makes me more of an outcast than them.

I forgot where I was going with this. Anyway, yeah, anybody have any advice on meeting people?
Basil Tootworth - Sat, 29 Jul 2017 22:50:21 EST ID:buDodtmC No.517775 Ignore Report Quick Reply
id give advice but your post echoes my thoughts all too well. the problem is that nobody is normal, everyone is weird, and everyone thinks everyone else is normal.
Caroline Suvingnine - Sun, 13 Aug 2017 12:03:12 EST ID:bOn4EGil No.518067 Ignore Report Quick Reply
So, do you actually do stuff with your time? Not to be condescending, particularly bc I'm in your boat too, but I think that's your problem. Too normal to be weird and vice versa? It sounds like you haven't developed yourself such that you actually have a life. Maybe I'm wrong, but consider asking yourself some hard questions. I think you can figure out why you can't seem to meet people on your own.
Like I said, I'm in your boat but I think the key difference is that I don't blame the world.
Rebecca Denderwell - Sun, 13 Aug 2017 14:50:08 EST ID:6yal9B1C No.518071 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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OP here, maybe I'm reading into your post too much but I don't blame the world. Blame implies wrongdoing or fault. It is the way it is because that's the way it is, there's no fault. I don't blame the world anymore than I blame rabbits for eating shit in my garden even if they ate all my fucking kale those cunts .

I do what I wanna do with my time; I sit around reading, listening to music, writing shitty stories, playing video games, working out, whatever. I'm not a social guy, I don't particularly like other people. I mean, I like them fine, I just don't wanna be around them. I wanna move way up North where I can be close enough to the city to get what I need but far enough away that I can go as long as I want without seeing another person. People are exhausting, I'd rather be home alone than out partying. Doesn't mean I don't still get lonely sometimes. The only person I think I could seriously be with is somebody like me, who I'll obviously never meet because they're like me. That's a bit of a kick in the dick but again, it's hardly anybody's fault. Luck of the draw and that shit.

Anyway thanks for the advice man but this thread should really just die. Lonely drunk-me gets these ideas that sound great to him, like trying to pick up chicks because he's lonely and not because the relationship would actually be any good, but when the booze runs out suddenly they always end up being totally fucking horrendous plans.
Graham Snodspear - Thu, 17 Aug 2017 02:18:34 EST ID:o3vIoRWZ No.518112 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>The only person I think I could seriously be with is somebody like me
You think wrong. And at the root of this damaging preconception lies the *fear of not being accepted for who you are*. This is why you are looking for someone like you. This is why you shy away form other people and spend your time entertaining yourself alone.

It's ok though, we're social creatures, we've ALL got that same fear deep down. Just don't let it cripple you like that. Open up. Our arms are waiting for you, even though they quiver slightly from the fear of not being accepted by you.

Did I dun fugged up by James Bunspear - Tue, 15 Aug 2017 14:57:04 EST ID:JjCIWimW No.518094 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>In relationship for 5 years
>girl joins a sorority
>lies about parties she goes to, hides hanging out with people alone, joins a fraternity without telling me, even down to the point of saying "If Im in a living room with a guy (in which we are drinking and smoking) but there are people in another bedroom (with the door shut) then we are not alone".
>she apologizes for her actions
>lies to me and goes to a graduation party hosted at a hotel in the middle of me finding about her lies
>tried to build trust again
>filled with feelings of anxiety and restlessness.
>the sex is AMAZING though. Always was.
>decide to break it off because feelings of anxiety never go away
>6 months later
>in new relationship
>feelings of anxiety are still there
>starting to miss my ex
>the new girlfriend is simply amazing
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Edward Blackfuck - Tue, 15 Aug 2017 16:31:03 EST ID:f+dkZbsN No.518096 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Anxiety, your ex whatever are feelings. You cannot control emotions any more than people which is to say you can control your reaction.

Also you're probably missing the glory days of your relationship, the girl that was and not the girl she became, and the things that sucked. The girl you miss does not exist. You simply miss the feeling of first love.

However you are not the same person either. Each love is different and now you are able to experience your second love, wiser and better, something that would not be possible if you were with your ex. Who is a shitbag anyway.
Hedda Smallway - Wed, 16 Aug 2017 23:14:17 EST ID:rFH3rjGe No.518110 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>the sex is AMAZING though. Always was.

uhh who said that?

When you want to live, how do you start? Where do you go? Who do you need to know? by Cornelius Nivingdale - Thu, 10 Aug 2017 22:03:48 EST ID:dYl1dlye No.518024 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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All through high school I had crippling personal issues, mostly anxiety (actually diagnosed, but I'm not one of those people that goes throwing stones at people who self-diagnose mental illness). I had the usual experience for someone like me, never had a lot of friends and the ones I did have had similar problems, didn't go through the usual milestones, etc. Had a particular difficulty working out whether people legitimately liked me, which was compounded by the fact people could figure this out and so I got a lot of the kind of bullying where people pretend they like you and throw it in your face. I turned away no fewer than five opportunities to have meaningful relationships because of this that I only realized were sincere after it was too late.

Anyway, my senior year I got involved in drugs because I had a death wish and thought that would be the most fun way to annihilate myself but to my surprise my situation improved rapidly. I made lots of friends, worked through a lot of my personal issues (most of them in fact) and my anxiety all but went away. I had my own apartment for my first 2 years of college and let in anyone who would come in to do drugs, which quickly turned into having wild parties every weekend and doing drugs with an ever-expanding group.

The problem is, while I made countless friendships and became a fixture of a very large social circle just being myself, I never got better at building intimate relationships, that is to say, I didn't have any. I found that an unwillingness to open up was replaced by an ignorance of what to do once I got a point where I was having a meaningful conversation with someone I'd like to get to know better.

So that's where I'm at now, I don't even know what advice I'm looking for here, I'm just frustrated because I'm at a roadblock progressing past the problems I made for myself when I was younger when I thought I was almost home free. I decided to move into a dorm for my second two years of college to maybe facilitate building these relationships I desperately want but I'm starting to think I might've thrown myself into the deep-end without knowing how to swim. Not to mention I'm really going to mis…
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Hedda Bloblingridge - Sat, 12 Aug 2017 18:59:37 EST ID:/brn2RiX No.518057 Ignore Report Quick Reply
the next thing to do after having meaningful discourse with a human is to engage in meaningful activity. whether this is netflix n chill, butt stuff, hiking, swimming, butt stuff, going out to eat, going out for drinks, or butt stuff, the choices are endless. human connections grow deeper with shared experiences
Clara Pittingham - Wed, 16 Aug 2017 17:46:13 EST ID:wT5IMEgn No.518106 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Like butt stuff

Building an exit bag. by Shitting Hassleham - Sat, 12 Aug 2017 09:55:20 EST ID:JI9kO00V No.518048 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So befire I run down to the store. Has anyone had a failed attempt with one? I'm going to use inert gas so I don't panic and rip the bag of my head (one bit of advice I got). No family or loved ones, so don't really care about voided bowels. Just really not looking to wake up again.
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Dunkirk - Tue, 15 Aug 2017 04:36:29 EST ID:HXgn8b9h No.518090 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Is it that common? I just joined and said i went to a behavioral hospital for trying to hang myself. The recruiters said to not mention it again because "it would look bad on us if those thoughts came back and you ended up trying it again"
Oliver Clallyhall - Tue, 15 Aug 2017 09:13:50 EST ID:dIFWQvnm No.518092 Ignore Report Quick Reply
don't go. eventually the doctors will bring it up right before you graduate and then stick you in discharge unit for about a year (because they have to make sure you are 100% healed before they release you) good news is you get paid during that time but still.
Oliver Clallyhall - Tue, 15 Aug 2017 09:17:29 EST ID:dIFWQvnm No.518093 Ignore Report Quick Reply
also if you want to get out with only a dishonorable discharge you'll have to write an essay about how your recruiters never knew of your affliction or convinced you to not speak of them. don't trust recruiters.nb
Thomas Fanderchare - Tue, 15 Aug 2017 16:30:46 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.518095 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>don't trust recruiters
This. Recruiters are shady used car salesmen, they'll say anything to get you to join (they have quotas and shit), will inform you of the ways to answer the questions you're asked correctly so you aren't disqualified, and then do shit like say not to mention things like that because it comes back looking bad on them. If it's found out you lied when getting in changes are you'll get some kind of less than honorable discharge, and it's not really like you're going to be able to prove that the recruiters knew about and even recommended that you lie to get in.
Thomas Fanderchare - Tue, 15 Aug 2017 16:34:08 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.518097 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Also yes, it was that common when I was at Ft. Bragg. Again, it could've been that Bragg and being Airborne Infantry was just especially shitty or something, but you should probably consider against your decision to join.

apathy by Fanny Goodforth - Wed, 09 Aug 2017 00:46:22 EST ID:tUH6IwKZ No.518004 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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its not that i'm really dead inside, its just i feel like i have no drive other than these short bursts (usually thanks to weed for making things tolerable and more fun) but mostly as of late I've been just cruising in life not really caring where i'm headed, like sure i want to continue getting my degree so i can get a career and live, and sure i would love a significant other and earn thousands or whatever but i'm totally okay with sustaining the life i already have currently. my mother thinks this is depression talking, like i feel like have no aspirations, because i feel like i got shot down too many times to even care at this point, even tho i do have dreams i just don't hold them as tightly as i used to or i just don't really care for anymore other than me, and even then i don't really care.

i just feel numb unless i'm high
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Fanny Billingville - Sat, 12 Aug 2017 03:28:41 EST ID:tUH6IwKZ No.518044 Ignore Report Quick Reply
[OP] i know what you mean, i feel most genuine and quicker on weed, probably because it helps my ADD/mental handicaps but there is that level of complacency it creates but for me i've created it into a motivating system at times when i went to the gym or trying to focus on a project, but me being ADD I can't stick with anything because I always find something else that might be cool to do, so I end up having a ton of side projects.
Ernest Dregglechetch - Sat, 12 Aug 2017 12:15:32 EST ID:Bzabghvi No.518052 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This is probably gonna sound stupid, every life comes with a death sentence. So make it what you will and if you want to sit around and smoke weed all day, that's fine.
Could be you need to cut back or take a break from the weed, re-evaluate what matters to you. Spend a few days thinking what's your end-game. What do you really want and who do you want to be. Even if it sounds unrealistic. Make small steps and celebrate every time you get closer. Life doesn't come with a purpose, we make it what we will, you can choose to be apathetic and depressed every single day and nothing will ever be handed to you. Motivation is key, find something that motivates you, maybe pussy, or finding "true love", or money, status. Whatever it is find that motivation and grab it by the balls.
Emma Lightdock - Sat, 12 Aug 2017 21:11:53 EST ID:tUH6IwKZ No.518058 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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[OP] I value what you say, but at this point and time (up until I get my degree) I don't think I can think of next big goals, right now I will say I am going to try and volunteer at this local radio station and hopefully that fuels something because while I agree that re-evaluation is a very powerful and key thing to do, and i always had places to go/a dream, but that was, what felt, quickly dashed away from me by outside forces and realization that I have mental handicaps.

Basically, I really wanted to go to any liberal arts school and try at anything, as I was getting into behind the scenes in production in high school from learning about music production to self-teaching myself film to volunteering at a local station and always wanting to be part of entertainment in any degree since i was a kid was my fuel and a lot of key interests in that umbrella, but it was up until speaking with the parents on college they really just pushed me into a corner emotionally and mentally, and sorta physically, just by slimming my choices of where to go by my dad basically every chance he got would talk shit about my sister's choice of choosing a Liberal Arts out of state private school "wasting our money" and my mom would be like "oh no dear, you can't go out of state" or "oh no dear, not a private school, that's way too expensive" and even "oh no dear, don't forget you have ADD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, and a bunch of other brain chemical imbalancement issues like depression, bipolar, schizophrenia handicaps" and on top of me not having the best HS GPA (I was a solid B- student) and SAT score I wasn't going anywhere and every time being just being reminded of all of that just felt like another blow to the chest to me. I just took everything so goddamn personally that I just gave up. But like I said, I'm doing different things especially now mixing volunteering + school, I'm just hoping this doesn't just make me buckle under the pressure.
Reuben Sanderspear - Sat, 12 Aug 2017 23:03:44 EST ID:ehhnNOgT No.518059 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Yeah, I have ADD and bipolar II (although I am very rarely hypomanic) and this all sounds very familiar. It's fucked up how your parents knocked down your self esteem like that. I never had to deal with that. The depression, the apathy, the lack of motivation and emptiness, dropping out and restarting college (and dropping out again in my case), that I know well though.

All I can tell you is that it's depression and you need to do something to stave it off or it will destroy you. when I get depressed, my mind and body start slowing down and I stop moving and lay in bed and do nothing but browse the internet. Don't let it get that bad. You need to keep busy and not give in to the apathy or else you will reach a tipping point and it will take you. You're on the right track, don't give in. Eventually it will pass if you keep yourself in an environment where it can pass. The only thing that solidifies the depression is stagnating.
James Brookforth - Sun, 13 Aug 2017 15:43:18 EST ID:s6mTMbsc No.518072 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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[OP] thanks man, it is a little reassuring to me that I am not alone because one thing I always had growing up was that I was just like everybody else because I was able to meet the average expectations of the "normal kids" too, and sure I knew I had ADD growing up (and slowly let out being known I had other learning disabilities) but to just be held down like that after years of flourishing and progressing it just felt like an immediate halt on everything, like i had hit a brick wall or that the paths felt way narrower and felt more enclosed.

And I agree that I do need something to putoff the depression, I was numbing it with weed but didn't care for anything else up until recently and having to do/trying other things and somehow trying to step out of it.

Another problem I have is that I'm in my head a lot, and I don't outwardly show emotion or at least suppress anything negative (which is also why I super appreciate the internet + this board/site in particular because you can stay anonymous and vent through while also connecting to other bodies who want to chime in). I grew up in a very courteous home of knowing your place and if you do take a stand you might as well back it up or expect some recoil, so I just always minded my own business and stayed in my own confines out of respect of others, because I felt like my baggage would become a burden of others as that soon became too real to me when I lost 2 of my best friends because first one felt like I was burden to being around with to the point of sending me a tirade of a text about it (like 3-4 text paragraphs about how he hates being around me) and then years later losing another friend because he had his own manic breakdown and decided to go into hiding and just avoid me for whatever reason and haven't really confronted me since flatly telling me we're no longer friends in a text even tho I tried my best in texting him back trying to rope him back in with some goof memes like we used to, but now I've accepted the first friend just turned into an asshole and the second one has his own issues and just wish I could continue our friendship because I've honestly never had long term frie…
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bunch of fucking bullshit by Hedda Wundermodging - Fri, 28 Jul 2017 09:56:28 EST ID:8j33xjOy No.517729 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Due to anxiety issues I haven't had any physical romantic interaction until 19. After that prostitutes and hookups with trannies until 25 when I decided to make some changes in my life. I'm much better today mentally and in a lot of others ways too.
I still haven't completely got rid of my habits, and had two relationships with girls I wasn't really attracted too in the last two years (both lasted about 3 months). 27 atm.
In the last month I met twice with a girl who I was attracted to, and who seemed to be attracted to me. She said from the start she wasn't looking for anything serious and we did drugs (mdma) when we met for the first time then the second time smoked weed and watched shows. We kissed but nothing beyond that even though she told me she was attracted to me and we talked about our sexual fetishes.
We were supposed to meet today. I sent her "good morning :) how are you?", she replies "fine, you?", I reply "I'm good. Currently at work, I'm free after 8. You?" at which point she blocked me.
So now I'm feeling like what the fuck is even the point of all these "positive" fucking changes exactly? I know this is just some 21 year old girl who met with other men at the same time and who because of more experience fucked her after two hours of talking to her because they know how to make a woman REALLY feel good and sexually attracted to them. I suffered less with the prostitutes you know? Those feelings of guilt and "I'm not a man if I pay for sex" well big fucking deal. This doesn't compare to it. I know what I lack and how the fuck am I gonna make up for 11 years or so years of lost experience? Shit's important. Crucial actually, I am COMPLETELY FUCKED.
Why put myself in these situations? All those changes that supposedly got me to have an attractive girl come over are nothing if I don't know what to do with her right? This will just keep happening. I thought I was on the right track but this existence is hell.
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Polly Cherrystone - Fri, 11 Aug 2017 17:35:21 EST ID:OPF34NwC No.518034 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I am going through similar problems myself. Although, I never used prostitutes or hooked up trannies. I'm trying to get in shape and take up more hobbies but I feel nothing will make up for my lack of experience and social awkwardness. I really wish there was something I could do. Also, it sucks she did that to you. Why can't people just be more straight forward?
Fucking Shakeworth - Fri, 11 Aug 2017 22:06:49 EST ID:mv6CynSU No.518042 Ignore Report Quick Reply
A lot of people on here seem to overestimate the importance of sexual experience. There are millions of dudes out there who genuinely believe they are great in bed, but suck. They jackhammer fuck a girl for 5 minutes and cum, then ask her if she enjoyed herself... Or there's guys who believe they have *the* technique down that works on every woman. Protip, the same technique is definitely not going to work on every girl.

There are very experienced people who are very bad at sex. You're creating this story in your head about your inexperience and you're using it to explain your failures with women. Who cares if some random girl you hung out with twice ghosted you? On to the next one. Keep at it. I have a friend who busted within 30 seconds in his current gf of 1 1/2 years. It's not the end of the world if you fuck up in the sack lol. Happens to everyone sometimes. Just chalk it up to experience and try again.
Nell Honnerstad - Sat, 12 Aug 2017 00:57:09 EST ID:MUKKLYzW No.518043 Ignore Report Quick Reply
On the one hand they know other people on the other it's taking up a lot of time and it still leads to comittment and commitment where you can't satisfy something outside of the same communication. Even with yourself it's often how people end up in this state because it's like a comparison in commitment being filled so they often don't pursue other things because of how much time this takes.
Ernest Dregglechetch - Sat, 12 Aug 2017 11:59:56 EST ID:Bzabghvi No.518051 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Are you insecure around women? Not trying to be a dick but they can smell that shit like a dog smells fear. You almost have to treat them like shit alittle to keep their interest, the ideal is to have them to feel how you do now. Keep stringing them along and eventually they will chase you. No smilies either till you've atleast got to first base, be the one to message her minimally then reply hours later saying you were 'busy' with whatever explaniation you need to further the goal of her believing you to be of high status/importance. Bitches love to feel important, it reflects in their choices in guys i.e. "chads"
Fucking Shakeworth - Sat, 12 Aug 2017 15:31:45 EST ID:mv6CynSU No.518056 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Eh, it's not so much that they need to "feel important", or that they can "smell fear", it's just that they want a masculine presence. Not like a dick waving chad type, necessarily, just someone who's not intimidated by them. Think about what it'd be like to be feminine, you want someone masculine who can take control sorta and lead things. If you're not that, she doesn't want to have to teach you to be a man and lead.

On the other hand, girls tend to fall in love slowly over time. They get freaked out if a guy comes on too strong. Like, wow, I just met this guy and he's already catching feelings. He barely knows me and he's getting all attached already... Slow your roll. Hang out, have fun, hook up, and don't worry about anything relationship-like. That's her job. She'll let you know if she wants to get serious. Your job is to just facilitate fun and sex.

I've heard recommendations that you should only hit a girl up to hang out like once a week, and only more than that if she starts texting or calling you first. Which is an okay rule I think, because it prevents you from over-pursuing.

my brain is broken by Nicholas Saddlefoot - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 18:10:51 EST ID:NoKU4Mj+ No.517876 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Help me. I have a seriously neurotic preoccupation with sex and romantic relationships. I literally spend a large proportion of my waking day tormenting myself by repeatedly telling myself that I'll *NEVER* have a satisfying/happy sexual or romantic relationship, that I can never even vaguely hope to please a woman physically or emotionally, that I'm alone and will always be alone because I'm a useless impotent pathetic loser with no redeeming qualities, and reinforcing this to myself by comparing myself to what I think women find attractive and noting how I have none of these qualities.

I.... I genuinely have many other concerns, hobbies, interests, aspirations, desires in life that I consciously recognise as more important... but it won't go away and it sucks the motivation to engage with these things.

Had a gf *once* who I only got because we shared a property and eventually fell in love... to this day I still find myself genuinely telling myself that I only got her because I unwittingly utilised some kind of 'magic' or supernatural force because I was so desperate to have her.....
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Fucking Shakeworth - Fri, 11 Aug 2017 21:54:19 EST ID:mv6CynSU No.518039 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Pretty much this. I'm not saying you should disregard the girls pleasure, but if you're not enjoying yourself it's gonna be pretty hard for it to be a good experience for either of you anyway. Half the fun is getting into a sort of "flow" state where you're enjoying it for you. I've had multiple girls tell me they get off a lot easier when they can tell the guy is enjoying eating her out. Just have fun. Spend less time penetrating her and more time with the buildup and anticipation aspects.

Most girls can't even get off from penetration alone, so if that's your only problem then calm the fuck down lol. Just learn how to use your fingers and mouth.
Fucking Shakeworth - Fri, 11 Aug 2017 21:57:46 EST ID:mv6CynSU No.518040 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Oh and I'd recommend changing your masturbation habits. Consider quitting porn for a while and jerk off for no less than 15 minutes at a time. If you're getting close, stop and calm down and then keep going. This is called edging. I'd also recommend getting a fleshlight. Maybe the stamina training unit. Practice on that. When you find yourself in an intimate situation, try to calm way down and release all the tension. If you can't get it up, just starting sucking her tits and making out and focusing on the sensations for your own pleasure, and you'll get it up in no time. It's the anxiety that's killing you...
Beatrice Blackfuck - Fri, 11 Aug 2017 22:03:13 EST ID:T7a0Mglx No.518041 Ignore Report Quick Reply

>How do you have no sensitivity and premature ejaculation?

most of the time when i would put it in i'll start pumping and then after like 10-20 seconds notice that i can't really feel anything, then i'll keep trying, but nope, still can't really feel anything, then i'll notice that because i can't really feel anything and it just feels like i'm fucking air, my dick has gone soft and i'll pull it out in a floppy state. this is totally bareback btw, my ex hated condoms so we never used them.... i'm not sure how i never got her pregnant but i honestly wonder whether she was infertile...

with regard to PE, on the odd occasion that i did manage to maintain an erection, as soon as it started to feel vaguely pleasurable (just like "oh this feels kinda warm and nice i guess" not "OMG MUH DICK MMMMM") i would pretty much always cum within 5-10 seconds. most of the time i wouldn't cum and would just lose erection very quickly and be unable to get it back up

>Anyway I suggest one night stands, possibly with hookers

not a bad idea but i'm in a lotta debt with fuckall income and simply can't afford them. with regard to pulling girls, i'm a turboautist w/ severe social anxiety with basically no friends or social skills and have recently moved back in with my parents, so that's basically a no go. plus i don't think there's anywhere i could meet women to pull that wouldn't have social repercussions for me (i.e. the girls being friends with people i know).

i think i have a genuine phobia of sex so i don't think more sex would help (especially bad sex). it's kind of a catch 22. i will cross the road to avoid attractive women or anything that reminds me sex is a thing.
Charlotte Blarringbury - Sat, 12 Aug 2017 13:44:42 EST ID:8tAx6kVt No.518054 Ignore Report Quick Reply
My previous comments were related to a post I thought I'd made but hadn't. I wasn't even on drugs. Shit

But I think some of this is in your head. I mean maybe the circumcision was utterly botched because it reduces sensitivity, not destroys it. But I feel it's more likely you are so hung up on this and sex that you cannot get in the zone. I think a lot of people never enter certain states of mind or rarely do and never realise the power it has over your dick.

See a doctor, make sure you are pushed down a path that eliminates or identifies causes, be persistent.
Samuel Wazzlechedging - Sat, 12 Aug 2017 15:01:49 EST ID:ehhnNOgT No.518055 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>just like "oh this feels kinda warm and nice i guess" not "OMG MUH DICK MMMMM"

hate to break it to you, but that's all pussy feels like for everyone. It's just warm and wet and not really very tight (unless you have a giant dick I guess). Almost everyone I know was disappointed by what pussy feels like. It doesn't stimulate you nearly as much as your hand does. I usually cum after a short time too but I just chill for a few minutes and we go again and I last longer. Women don't mind if you cum quickly because it just makes them feel hot and sexy and if you've done plenty of foreplay they will be satisfied, especially if you're up for round 2 after a few minutes. I could never fap twice in a row but with a girl it's different.

I really don't think that your issues are going to be that big of a deal to a lot of women as long as you're open with them, many of them would be happy to help you through them, especially if they've already developed feelings for you. Don't let this put you off pursuing a girlfriend by convincing yourself that every girl is going to reject you because of your hangups because that's just not true. Many girls don't even like having sex that much and would rather just make out and cuddle, and many girls especially don't care for penis in vagina sex since many of them feel pretty much nothing from it. You are definitely making this out to be a bigger deal than it actually is. Once you get used to it and the nerves go away you probably won't have any issues staying hard and you'll begin to enjoy yourself. Don't give up hope.

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