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social anxiety/uncomfortable with being perceived? by Elephant Mask Guy - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 20:23:21 EST ID:6rYLIVsB No.514648 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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tldr when I walk past mirrors theres this mental force that grabs my attention and makes me notice myself in the mirror, and its not positive, like I'm perceiving myself in a negative light, or expecting that, when I walk past a mirror. I don't even have to look at myself in the mirror, I expect it when passing it and get the same mental tunnel vision as the next example: When I'm in public, walking down a hallway, even when walking down a street with a car/person approaching me, I get mental tunnel vision and I can't just enjoy my walk, the presence of the other observer wacks me out. I believe both scenarios I've listed revolve around the same thing: I anticipate a negative reaction to my normal behavior and being? I've been conditioned to expect being rejected and feeling that I'm weird/a loser/deserving of social rejection? How can I take steps to get over this? This would make sense to a degree as I've experienced social rejection in my youth/life for expressing my natural behavior, and it is painful to be socially rejected, and it really deterred me from just being myself and saying what I want without fear of rejection.

Starting vispanna meditation, reading a book on it, I work out 3-5 days a week and am eating healthier/losing weight. So my life is on the right path I just need to get over this hump to get my social and personal confidence up.
Simon Buzzfuck - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 12:10:59 EST ID:ntgbOcpq No.514696 Ignore Report Quick Reply
its hard man, walk like you got alight pointing out your chest that blinds the haters and attracts the bugs

How much do you tolerate? by William Chandermare - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 12:50:42 EST ID:xN5RoLcn No.514660 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Some insight; as a dude in his late twenties who has lived most of his life alone, meaning no actual relationship. Many fuck buddies and such but rarely has anyone peaked my interest so that I would actually engage in a more emotional manner. This has resulted in me developing and following a certain standard of behaving when one would approach relationships. Its very utopic, fair and reasonable BUT its not an usual behavior by people which are run by egos and rash emotions which I completely understand.
Now, recently I met a girl and after a short period of great mutual interest in a lot of things decided to give it a go. I'm a very chaotic person and she is as well. Sadly her chaos enters her emotions and mine does not. In the last week and a half she started 3 very odd fights, which I completely don't understand why they exist. I mean, I see why but I cant accept those reasons.
She is probably so involved in me that her emotions and ego have clouded her judgement of freedom and expressions.
3 strikes are kinda my limit and I'm wondering as to why should I continue this journey. I really enjoy time with her BUT..when is it enough? Other than my father and sister my life is completely without fights and such so cutting her out would just put everything back to normal which I desire, but... another chance? another? another? Not sure.

So when do you break? Whats your limit, I'm genuinely curious. Give me some insight in the world of others as to why do you endure such irrational bullshit people give us..
2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Ian Greendock - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 13:14:06 EST ID:W+KRkfID No.514663 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Well I've been heartless before as well as had to deal with it. Can also go back and forth. There's a sort of depth issue too. You might be consensual about the current and they might not be as irrational as you are oblivious. She might be expecting a behavior denoting a sort of meaning to what's in the present and if you're just enjoying it while she's picturing a progression BUT if you reassess and redefine you and her will magically transform so be sure to carry a mirror and shield. If you stay at it it will be as bad as the difference between your feelings. If fighting is the only way to get any attention.

Perhaps evade the issue entirely by going out and doing something positively distracting. Even then though she'll be expecting some occasional display of affection. I've found that lies come off better than truths anyway. If it feels wrong, do it. Telling a girl you actually love her is painful lol
William Chandermare - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 13:23:42 EST ID:xN5RoLcn No.514664 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I actually wholeheartedly agree with this. And I'm aware of it as well. She is far more committed to it than I am and that's the problem probably. Its not that Im making some big mistakes but its that she wants to eat a whole hand so to speak while im good with just a finger for now.
In two situations I have already thought ''Ok, im done with her now'' but later on I decide to try again because...hm, I guess I need to push through some shit to realize some stuff about relationships, if I always back out when it gets tough I might never understand certain stuff. To put it plainly and kinda ugly, I need experience. That just sound robotic, damn...

But about the lying part I disagree. I never lie, I simply can't. But I tend to avoid the truth which is kinda what I'm doing right now.
Phineas Greenway - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 13:51:41 EST ID:j5fiPK2O No.514665 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This mostly this.

Though also consider what people actually want from a relationship. Maybe what you expect is reasonable given the assumption everyone wants the same things you do. What does this girl want? Is there a mutually beneficial compromise? In other words "is she worth it?".
Cedric Pickgold - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 20:33:09 EST ID:xN5RoLcn No.514673 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I see this as a rhetorical but i'll answer, maybe it helps.
Is she worth it? In the long run, no.
She is a wonderful person no doubt, joyful and amusing but very emotional and desire driven therefor can be mean and spiteful just because her emotions tell her to be.
I see or... I saw a potential in her and I believed I could teach her to be a more complete person which she lacks because of her chaotic mind but maybe that task is out of my reach.
In a way, I'm a dreamer and I pictured many things that are obviously unrealistic. There are no butterflies in my stomach, something that rarely occurs....

I'll continue this charade for a while longer, but I'm at my last straw probably.
Oh well.
Cyril Fenningson - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 03:52:18 EST ID:pCPQRsXK No.514683 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Somewhat do not worry.

Unless you feel trapped

break up by Phoebe Brookman - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 10:52:57 EST ID:GJr5OAfh No.514655 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I have met this dude on the internet and I have talked to him everyday for at least a year, but recently he has been asking me to travel to his city so we can live together and even offered money for the plane ticket and all. I really don't want to commit so much and I don't know if I like him a whole lot anymore.

So, the question is: How can I end this relationship without hurting his feelings too much? He is a nice guy and he has been through some fucked up shit, so I want to cause the least possible emotional damage when breaking up.
1 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
Lillian Bebberbodging - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 11:13:03 EST ID:1cNZZK18 No.514657 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I have 2 main experiences with online relationships.

The first time was an online girlfriend who came over to visit, and who I lost my virginity to. It was awkward and we weren't nearly as close "IRL" as we appeared to be online.

The second time was just a regular friend I'd met online and when he came over we didn't really gel as well together as I thought we would.

Basically both times it was a little underwhelming. So if you're saying that you
>don't know if I like him anymore
then, if my experiences are anything to go off, you're gonna get over there and like him even LESS.

So yeah, fuck moving away, you're gonna just have to tell him and it's going to be awkward and painful, but that's what happens.
Reuben Branderpine - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 12:35:11 EST ID:Uc73HBYO No.514658 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Sorry you're not a bitch lol
Delusion is extremely important to a guy. You can't just say I don't like you anymore. And you can't drag this on. If you break his heart you'll just curse another woman with having to deal with him. He'll either be all sad n shit or he'll might actually just like give up on feelings and just be totally emotionless and make another girl feel like total shit.
Not sure what the best lie would be but it should be realistic.
Angus Blythestock - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 12:35:22 EST ID:RKajAvia No.514659 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Sorry you're not a bitch lol
Delusion is extremely important to a guy. You can't just say I don't like you anymore. And you can't drag this on. If you break his heart you'll just curse another woman with having to deal with him. He'll either be all sad n shit or he'll might actually just like give up on feelings and just be totally emotionless and make another girl feel like total shit.
Not sure what the best lie would be but it should be realistic.
Phoebe Brookman - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 15:29:13 EST ID:GJr5OAfh No.514669 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I'm so confused.
Phineas Greenway - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 16:28:00 EST ID:j5fiPK2O No.514670 Ignore Report Quick Reply
There's a lesson both of you should have learned. The moment feelings happen meet up. In fact meet up before then but because that's impossible most of the time just arrange as soon as possible. Then this situation is avoided because he'd see you weren't interested.

Just so you learn next time. Most internet relationships fail but this at least gets the catfish and shit out the way. I mean maybe you would have had those feelings if you'd spent a year not just talking to this guy.

I've been "let down gently", catfished and even faced honesty. Honesty is the best. You already broke everything and that was a joint effort where you carried on for about 9 months longer than you needed to without meeting just make sure he heals as quickly as possible. If he realises you lied it'll build resentment. Fuck the delusion, you had feelings but you don't feel strongly enough to visit and if you don't know it's not getting stronger.

I've met a few people I met on line, mostly friends. I found that it takes a little while to click while the person you knew on line and this stranger sort of sync up, which varies depending how much you've done this and how brave you both are and with you. I made a couple of close friends out of people who I talked to on line but was already moving in the same social circles with. Maybe we'd have become great friends anyway, though knowing one of them and how awkward he is. No. And I'd probably be dead as a result. But these are people I had already been in the same room as "Oh yeah I was at that thing too, I'll say hi next time". I met some people from an MMO and that was alright too. Hosted a guild meet up. I think I developed a better than average ability to set my expectations though. Most of the time it's not going to be better. Especially if it's not good already.

Sorry for Vague by Hugh Blackridge - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 06:20:48 EST ID:TQeGA7XC No.514631 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I understand intellectually that I need to take personal responsibility for my actions, because no one is going to fix me life except me

It's just, I feel like all my real mistakes were made because I trusted a lifetime of bad advice given to me by people who weren't even aware they were lying. I spent to long focused on the wrong things, and I let amazing things slip through my fingers. Now nothing has meaning.

I just with there were some authority I could seek for an apology but nothing will ever satisfy that urge.

thank you for reading.
Edwin Moshbidging - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 09:21:55 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.514635 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Well considering the modern zeitgeist of everyone being a winner, you can be anything you want to be, and not being allowed to fail in general, I feel a lot of people can probably relate. Then again, I'm sure that's just the bad advice/messages parroted to our specific generation. I'm sure all of them so far have had shit advice they grew up hearing that they found out later was untrue or led them astray.

I can't say that I don't empathize with you, considering I feel much the same way (at least with the bad advice that they all genuinely believed in but turned out to be shit), but I don't personally think the advice itself is what landed me where I'm at now. Maybe I'm deluding myself, but I genuinely believe everyone has to wade through that horseshit advice and life sayings and figure out what they're supposed to be doing on their own after hitting a low point. That is unless they're incredibly lucky because they're super rich or something.

Once all the old meaning that things had for you gets stripped away by finally realizing the reality you find yourself in, you have to start making up the meaning from scratch based on your updated world view. That being said, this isn't as bad of a thing as it might seem right now. This was bound to happen at some point in your life, at least it happened for you while you were still relatively young, you know? I found myself at that point about 5 years ago and grew despondent for a while. Now though, things are finally fucking getting back on track, and although things will never be the same as they used to (everything having new meaning basically), there's nothing wrong with how things are now. When are things ever the same as they used to be? It might suck ass for a while, but you'll be better for it in the long run.
Jarvis Gasslenut - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 13:59:50 EST ID:j5fiPK2O No.514643 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Taking personal responsibility for your actions means the present and future. The past is done. You're in this situation and now you have to make the best of it. We are all dealt different hands in life all we can do is make the most of them. And really the past is as set in stone and unchangeable as the things before you were born. You're holding this hand at this moment. You can play it and that is all.

Closure or that feeling of things being made right is something you can only give yourself.

A lot of us have been let down or given less than perfect opportunities or taught lies or whatever. It doesn't change that you have your opportunities, strengths, weaknesses and limits and you have to do the best you can.

That is my experience of life.
Angus Crublingshit - Tue, 21 Mar 2017 03:39:37 EST ID:ntgbOcpq No.514654 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i feel you op, i feel you hard.

I blame doctors mostly, but i get you even if thats not what you mean

just need to vent by Hamilton Sannerfere - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 16:01:35 EST ID:rsP7RrTt No.514645 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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hey i just need to let this out and someone hear it

Seriously, man, I am so sick of smoking away every god. damn. day.
I can't even believe it; 4 years since I started smoking weed, and the last 3 1/2 full fucking years have been spent high or miserable.
I only realized because my friends were talking about fucking parties of all thigns and tracing back the last three years of birthday parties we threw for our friend, I just saw it all, three years I barely even remember, barely can stand to think about, just bullshit between a few drug filled high notes, barely feel like anything has changed.
My hands found my face and I just sat there, staring into the ground like "what the fuck..."

8 years ago I had just entered college- the town I came from was a backwards shithole and I had been basically homeless and couch surfing the last two years of high school, but I put all my energy into keeping a high gpa, and got into a out of state college. I was crazy into being a fighter, I was all about doing whatever needed to be done, overachiever, never even touched drugs. I stayed outside a lot because it was the only thing i could appreciate for free. I poured all my crazy into art and learning and trying to move past the bullshit I grew up in. I moved, left basically nothing behind but a few friends, living out of my truck, made it through two years stressed out keeping everything together- when my college said I owed them $8,0000 I didn't have before I could re-enroll. There was no one I could ask for this money, Soon after, lost my job- job market in this town was terrible, spent a year trying to save money between gigs and jobs and food and rent in winter, and came away with basically nothing except keeping the debt stable.
This destroyed most of my social life I had made and life just became a long series of constantly managing looking for work. Then my car died. I had no money to fix it or rent and was homeless again, and moved in with a friend in a different city.
I told my self, this is my new beginning, I'm starting from day one, right here!
Nothing worked out. I got a new job writing like crazy, I put a ton of a passion into it and tried to use it to rebuild my social life and connections and i did get recognition... most of what it got me was a lot of drama, and the impossible expectations of strangers. The jobs you get between internet writing don't provide that much. None of it was really enough to get anywhere, and then my friend lost there house and I got really sick and it caused all kinds of pain flair up and extreme exhaustion I and ended up moving in with an ex, living a mattress in their kitchen, because I was barely able to keep up day by day and only had the money i had saved and the internet to connect with people.

life just fucking fell away. Things got dark internally. I just barely could deal with trying to stay connected to people- I became so fucking depressed and avoided people. my old friends all thought I would "make it" and seemed disappointed in me. my close relationships were suffering and internally everything and everyone seemed meaningless, and i was starting to have serious breakdowns. my life reduced down to this shitty lonely room, staring at the roof, barely able to got up and down stairs. Barely able to think clearly.

But then, randomly, while at a free clinic trying to get anyone i could to look at my joint pain, I met this person I really clicked with- she introduced my to a bunch of herbal heath practices which ended up helping a lot with my exhaustion, and I was able to get to more doctors, and eventually started making a real recovery.
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Molly Cenderham - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 20:18:06 EST ID:n1yNxChx No.514647 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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i'm gonna say it's the weed, and anything else that you have going on that's fucking up your body. if weed is bad for you, it's bad for you. don't do it.
at least, that's my experience in my own life.
you can get your drive back, though i don't know exactly how. i think good health is the place to start.

that, and don't block out the sadness

good luck

girl by Samuel Grimdock - Wed, 15 Mar 2017 23:12:01 EST ID:fh02z0OB No.514480 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Met girl over summer, we hit it off, she started pursuing me, I kinda pushed her away for various reasons (mostly insecurity and I didn't know how to handle it), she moved on, I decided I wanted her pretty bad, we started hanging out again, she ended up fucking my friend after we all hung out, I got mad and told her not to talk to me unless she wanted to get together, she got mad at me and shit, basically they ended up in a relationship. I accepted it and let her become a friend. Then he dumped her and we started talking again for like a week, but I never made a move again because I'm fucking retarded, then they hooked up again after a party. So I told her not to talk to me unless those two are done and she wants to get together, and she basically just said "I'm sorry that's how you feel" or some shit.

Am I being a dick? I wasn't trying to be punitive or anything, I just really don't want to be the "friend" here. I don't want to pretend like it's fine when she's fucking our mutual friend and I'm obviously still into her. I want what I want and I don't want to settle on this. I mean, I'm talking to other girls and shit too, but she's really got me. I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna back down and let them make me into a "friend" of hers again, even if they continue with a relationship. It's not what I want. Am I being a dick? Like we're all in the same friend group and hang out every week or every other week or so to get fucked up. Idk man.
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Samuel Grimdock - Thu, 16 Mar 2017 17:18:05 EST ID:fh02z0OB No.514516 Ignore Report Quick Reply

At least I know I'm delusional though. That's why I told her we shouldn't talk in the first place. I know how awkward and shit it is to have someone pining after you and getting in their feelings about shit you were barely aware of. I've had girls act that way towards me, get mad at me, etc, all for shit that was barely on my radar at the time.

To be fair, I did hurt this girl over the summer. She was really into me, we would snap every day, she sent explicit stuff, etc. I can't even blame her for fucking the guy after a while because I was so fucked up in my head. I've been getting a lot better and focusing on growing as a person, becoming less of an anxious mess, etc, but I still have a lot of sexual insecurity so when things heat up with a girl I'm really into, I get a little distant. There's been other girls but idk, with them it just doesn't feel the same.

I guess I'll just do what I told her we'd do and not talk to her unless she ends up wanting me. Going back on that now would make me look like a weak little bitch again. I'm not really okay with being just friends with her, so fuck it. I couldn't think of a better way to handle this situation.
Walter Drengerstock - Thu, 16 Mar 2017 19:04:53 EST ID:S8aa+yjs No.514519 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I didn't read what anyone else in this thread said and I don't really care but for you that doesn't sound like an ideal situation to be in. Are they your only friends? Maybe try hanging out with other people for awhile. besides if you keep hanging around them then you aren't really giving her a chance to miss you.

So meanwhile you're hurting because you're friend got the girl you want and you are idling waiting for your turn. Doesn't sound like it will end well friend.

You're gonna do what you want at the end of the day and make your choices based upon the delusions you built around her but theres alays other choices you could make. Just remember that.
Phineas Dinkinweck - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 00:47:26 EST ID:fh02z0OB No.514535 Ignore Report Quick Reply

I went and hung out with some other friends tonight, which was sorta fun. The people I hung out with are sorta intertwined with the group I normally chill with in a way, but meh, maybe I'll start kicking it with them. I got invited to hang out with the girls friend but I assumed she would be there so didn't go tonight. Even though me and the girl's friend are kinda close. Idk. I might have hurt her too at this point. It's hard for me to tell.

You're right though. I'm just gonna see about hooking up with some hoes on tinder or something and hopefully deal with some of my insecurities. If she ever hits me to hang out, I'll go for it, but unless that happens I'm gonna avoid her. It's not what I instinctively want to do, I want to be around her and talk to her and shit, but nah. This is hard. I'm a few beers deep but I set up plans to take one of the guys out to some bars before he goes a few hours away to work for a while. At least for this weekend I don't think I'll have to see her.
Nell Snodbury - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 01:27:14 EST ID:k1vvRgQN No.514541 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Move on man. Meet new people. Makes new circles. There's another girl that's as sexy as your current one but who will want you
Jarvis Bunningshit - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 14:57:58 EST ID:fh02z0OB No.514644 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Welp. We ended up getting into an argument after she came over to get something from my house, and she basically just kept repeating that we're "just friends" and I told her nah, don't want that, and it was this whole big thing so now we basically just agreed to ignore each other from now on. Lol.

Miss my ex in a platonic way by Nigel Porringchedging - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 05:51:30 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.514627 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've posted a bit about this girl before years ago

>4 years ago
>started dating girl who was very close friend growing up
>she started cheating on me the day my best friend killed himself, with another friend
>Shitty as fuck year

I haven't seen or talked to her since 2013
>at after party of some show
>See her, im like wtf
>end up sitting at this party with her for 4 hours doing blow and talking
>Take her home, lay on her couch with her for like 12 hours talking about life
>She lives at ex boyfriends house, on the couch
>She was a travelling crust punk for 3 1/2 years
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Nigel Porringchedging - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 08:07:24 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.514632 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Now she just started following me on instagram at 6 am so i'm just confused
Nigel Porringchedging - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 08:46:55 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.514633 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>You could ask if she wanted to crash on your couch or something instead of living in squalor, but it might be emotionally draining on both of you. It would still be a better environment tho, and maybe a better arena for her to stop drinking her life away and start applying for better work to get her own apartment or something. Maybe gettin some professional help

I've thought about this, but theres no way she'd want to live by me. I don't live in the city, and i'm moving even further into the boonies in a few months to be closer to my apprenticeship. Plus, she doesn't seem like she wants to better herself that much. She did mention that she has some money saved from her pizza job and is getting an apartment in a better part of town though.

>Honestly, it's probably best to just leave her alone. It's a good thing wanting to do something, but usually people in situations like that don't want pity or help.
True, but I thought it was strange because she told me that I'm the only person shes told that shes gotten raped, she hasn't even told her best girlfriends because she thought they'd judge her, so I thought it was a cry for help from someone she trusts. She said that the only other person shes told is her ex boyfriend whose couch she lives on and hes just completely disgusted by her, and she also says that she doesnt believe in psychologists, she believes in telling people she trusts about her problems.

>I have been in something kinda similar, and I just ended up pretty jaded by the whole affair. I don't know tho, you just gotta do what feels like the right thing to do. It might be as easy as being a friend to her, grabbing cup of tea once in a while or something.

Yea, I'll probably offer to take her out for breakfast sometime soon, or go see an old friends new band.
Nathaniel Hidgemedging - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 11:16:34 EST ID:n1yNxChx No.514640 Ignore Report Quick Reply
you can try to help when you can but only badness will result from trying to control her or things in general
Nigel Porringchedging - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 13:45:26 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.514642 Ignore Report Quick Reply
yea, i learned this from her years ago.
Blackie-Chan - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 22:21:07 EST ID:YSgLqHnY No.514652 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Miss my ex
I'm gonna stop you right there. Once someone scars you so much that you can't forgive them, even when they apologize, you should just excise them from your life.
So your ex's life went to shit after you two broke up. What does that have to do with you or your life?
Don't let your ex's shitty luck or judgement fuck up your life.

Rape Question: Please Help!!! by Wesley Crockletit - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 03:22:41 EST ID:PP6wg+TW No.514604 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Sup guys.
I wanted to know if this is considered rape?

The girl said no so I pretended not to hear her and then I raped and murdered her.

Was this illegal?
Cyril Brambletudge - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 08:29:45 EST ID:2cRqUGEL No.514609 Ignore Report Quick Reply

you see we don't know all the facts. Did she go back to your house? Didn't she know murderers LIVE in houses? I mean she's just an idiot if she went home with a random stranger that could be potentially a murderer. Maybe she shouldn't have been wearing clothes that exposed her neck that would entice people into wanting to slit her throat or choke her?

OP I think you're a fine dude and you did nothing wrong. It's clear it was her fault.
George Menkinville - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 22:04:42 EST ID:gu/lq3ms No.514613 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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it'd be illegal not to
Thomas Nunnerdale - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 23:05:53 EST ID:LwDdrKTU No.514616 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Was this illegal?
not if you're in hawaii
Cedric Goodfuck - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 08:55:54 EST ID:htL0lErB No.514634 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yes this was illegal
Nathaniel Hidgemedging - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 11:04:10 EST ID:n1yNxChx No.514638 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i'm pretty sure you're fine dude

About a girl by Oliver Dartstock - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 16:04:33 EST ID:UrQwPY3E No.514611 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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tl;dr: took some time with a girl and want to tell her how I feel. Better to do it in person or write her a letter?

I'd been dating this girl for a couple months. We got along great. After some time we started falling for each other, we both said some really nice things to each other and shared many unique moments, it looked like it'd eventually have to step up to a relationship or die. Then, suddenly, while she was away visiting her home country, she distanced herself from me without explanation. We still talked, but there was definitely something off. We sort of talked it out after a week of awkward conversations and everything went sort of back to normal, but we decided we owed one another a talk.

When she came back, we talked and she told me her entire life was on crisis. That she didn't know wether she wanted to stay in this city (or country), whether to keep studying what she was studying, whether to settle in the country or to travel around the world, and whether to be with me or not. That being said, she cried the entire time we talked, told me I was very dear to her, and that I was way too nice, and that her friends told her she was stupid af for distancing herself from me. Apparently she always does the same thing: as soon as she starts getting close to someone, she runs away, or looks for someone else to keep her mind off the first guy, until the first guy dissapears and then she loses interest in the second guy as well. Anyway, I though I was going to be the exception to the rule... sadly I'm not.

Anyway, we decided to take some time, do whatever, and then talk again and see where each of us is, and what each of us wants. Honestly, I though she'd've spoken to me by now, it's been more than three weeks already. I miss her and still want to be with her, but this is turning pretty fucking bleack and depressing, and I don't think I can take this sort of broken-up-but-with-chance-of-going-back situation much longer.

Even if I feel chances of it working are dim, I still want to know I did everything in my reach to make it work, and be sure she knows how I really feel. I don't want to wonder, in a couple months, 'what if I'd spoken to her again'…
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Clara Gagglemack - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 16:55:47 EST ID:TX3Ezud6 No.514612 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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There's some things to take in mind. If she still wants to break things off, would you rather have gotten to meet her a last time, or would you rather have that you only meet her again if she feels the same way?
And even if know you can get the phrasing right much easier in a letter, it won't have the emotional impact of getting it out face to face. You can't hold a letter in your arms. You can't watch her face as she reads your words.

I think meeting her is the right thing. Even if you end up apart, there's more of a solid ending to it, making it easier to accept that this is the way it is.

I wish you the best of luck!

GF doesn't want intimacy, wants to sleep alone by Evening Majors - Fri, 03 Mar 2017 17:01:28 EST ID:AVHt7elG No.513964 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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together for 5 years now.
Never had real issues.

My new workplace got very demanding.
Can't do the household when I come back from work.
Need to relax by reading listening to music ans sleep often when I come home from work.

GF seems to have lost interest in physical love.
Didn't have sex for 2 months now (2-3 times a week was normal for us before).

I've lost interest as well, because of all the rejection.

She gets pissy very often, when I don't do the dishes
(its not that there are huge piles or that anything smells. She just has this annyoing perfection when it comes to dish-washing...)
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Memeory Bailer - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 02:09:54 EST ID:NycEgjCL No.514542 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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things can change after some time to think and a good conversation!
My first reaction would be to bail and my first advice would also be to dump that bitch.
But I know how paranoid the lack of sex and sleep can make me, sometimes!

Things like that can happen after 5 years of relationship.
You need to reassure yourself and herself and don't forget how important sex is for social hygiene!

Also its not the end of the world when you have to sleep alone sometimes.
Everybody needs his space sometime!
I use to enjoy my sleeping alone-times so I can indulge in my (rather weird) sexual fantasies and fetish stuff my woman doesn't enjoy so much.

Give each other space and enjoy your (hopefully) long lasting relationship!

I wish you only the best for your wedding!
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Rebecca Bungerdale - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 02:52:49 EST ID:EzXVpmDm No.514543 Ignore Report Quick Reply
He's like a comic book villain with that diction

did i just get trolled
Sidney Goblingford - Sat, 18 Mar 2017 00:26:10 EST ID:n1yNxChx No.514565 Ignore Report Quick Reply
finally.. the perfect synthesis. for centuries ever since the cultivated european aristocrat first discovered ostriches, he had pined for them with an unending and ceaseless LUST. their long, slender limbs. since exiting the pure state of nature, man's perfectability had enabled him to create not only the marvels of the world, but the ability to see truth.. women were quickly seen as that which furthers the genetic lineage, and nothing more.. their shrill voices, their weakness. for years man searched and search until he could BEAR IT NO LONGER. he sailed to africa with whatever means, literal banks were emptied (contemporary equivalent 475 BILLION britbongs fishkettles also known as dollars) and countries were ruined so that man could finally, once and for all, find a replacement for women. and now you have shown me the light. there is a being so magnificent that the GODS themselves would bask in the sheer temerity of this being. that very being is depicted here. the only part of the woman worth carrying on was the capacity for baby making.. THE OSTRICH WAS SUPERIOR IN EVERY OTHER WAY. but alas, a pure ostrich could not propagate the species without genetic testing and research, the costs of which far outweigh our current monetary power. with time perhaps this will change, but for now we have found the holy grail of union. together, man and the ostrich woman hybrid will carry forward the burdens of humanity into the future. for our children will be of the greatest calibre, and our lives forever enriched going on and on into the sunset. rousseau was correct about civilization domesticating man and removing us from our natural capacities, but there was one thing that he didn't forsee in his travel accounts: the ostrich woman hybrid. this will finally square the circle and provide the penultimate solution to the troubles of political society.

i will inform the guild at once and we will begin preparations for extraction.
rendevous is at 19:00 in a week. bring the package

Samuel Brimmlepodge - Sat, 18 Mar 2017 02:48:37 EST ID:I2FTZEKQ No.514566 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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buy a new bed. Solve everything, Swear to god.
David Bubberway - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 03:33:24 EST ID:PiDMdgO6 No.514606 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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thanks. that was a good read.

Personal Issues Board by Angus Cammermit - Wed, 15 Mar 2017 11:08:48 EST ID:ZkKEmZJm No.514440 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So I recently started a board on another platform than here. I just don't think it's healthy to support a drug culture while you're trying to help people.
9 posts and 4 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
Jenny Berrystane - Thu, 16 Mar 2017 14:52:14 EST ID:HlEsXYeC No.514510 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Angus Dondlenotch - Thu, 16 Mar 2017 23:39:56 EST ID:HlEsXYeC No.514534 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Walter Pecklestuck - Sat, 18 Mar 2017 18:19:43 EST ID:mJHhephB No.514584 Ignore Report Quick Reply
William Gettingforth - Sat, 18 Mar 2017 20:41:19 EST ID:j5fiPK2O No.514590 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Something I first though when I saw this thread but couldn't put into words. But now I can.

There is something to be said for this board being rooted in drug culture. While there is the obvious disadvantages ie "dude do LSD it'll solve everything" "dude just smoke weed and remain depressed it doesn't work for me but I do it" kind of posts. If you have a genuine drug problem this is going to give you better advice and more real experience.

A lot of people here are aware of both sides of drugs, and they also realise that alcohol, MMOs, sex and much more can all be abused very simularly. They know how to stop taking various drugs are. What the pitfalls are. They have seen fiends and junkies and know what crossing the line looks like and can give some real advice. Depersonalisation, derealisation and weed "withdrawals" all the way to DO NOT FUCKING GO COLD TURKEY ON BENZOS IF YOU'VE BEEN ON THEM FOR YEARS NON STOP YOU WILL DIE TAPER FOR GODS SAKE. People who have tried some drugs, realised how they can be bad, have know people or watched people on and offline, get destroyed by drugs and all that shit. They know when it's worth giving up and when it's not.

The problem isn't drug culture it's that you get morons giving bad advice and you won't avoid that on hatechan. But you will avoid certain types of bad advice so good luck all the same. Just don't be surprised when the worst shit here (which is not the drug culture) turns up there to a greater magnitude.
David Bubberway - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 03:28:32 EST ID:PiDMdgO6 No.514605 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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You're thinking that people promote drugs acroos this entire website in an even manner, but really -

I've seen more advice on /qq/ to stop smoking weed than otherwise. I do see the occasional recommendation to take psys but usually there is some effort there, like, 'take psys in a comfortable place with comfortable people and focus on your issues. be prepared for a tough time but you will probably grow as a person.'

I mean, 420chan feels like the most welcoming chan for normal people. despite what you might think, that's a positive, and it's what keeps this community around.

Rape Question: Please Help!!! by Wesley Crockletit - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 03:22:41 EST ID:PP6wg+TW No.514603 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Sup guys.
I wanted to know if this is considered rape?

The girl said no so I pretended not to hear her and then I raped and murdered her.

Was this illegal?

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