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Socially, At Work by awkward - Wed, 24 May 2017 20:31:56 EST ID:n1yNxChx No.516463 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hey guys. Long story short I suck at existing in a social environment. Anxiety and depression were huge for me growing up, and now at 24 I find myself conspicuously undeveloped here. It's obvious. I hate it, but it's true. I come across as quite childish. I don't think I've ever had a workplace where I wasn't hated. It's always awkward, and I realize I put people through a massive amount of bullshit because of it. It sucks! I don't want to be that guy. Everybody seems fine, niceish, whatever.

So, I started a new job today. It was.. Alright. Sort of. I can't ask for better than keeping my head down and trying to do a good job at whatever I happen to be doing. This job is a good one too. It's in a kitchen. How do I not fuck this up in the long run? I'm not expecting miracles; I just want this to be okay. Anybody have advice?

Have you ever worked with someone who was terribly awkward? What was it like, how did you deal with it? Have you ever been said person? Did you overcome it?
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Alice Fonningstatch - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 17:29:26 EST ID:e1ptL1WV No.516675 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516666
i've been there man. The guy you responded to is only right, if you force yourself in the sense of going to work and not caring. Which is intellgent. The force is more like despite hearing derision, looking down on you and judgement, you intellgently go through it.

If i could paint an analogy it would be like you are right from a stand point of seeking and knowing human connection that is ethical and compatible. Empathy. then there is sympathy.

Sympathy is more physical. Sympathy already recognizes that people do that to people, so you don't really try to prove yourself in the eyes of others. empathetically as a hardcore ethic you are asking why isn't it functioning in the right dynamic. Sympathetically people are often that condscending, that's why pity is so hard to tolerate, because it's coating the judgement and appraisal with compassion, which is more so they aren't seen in the wrong.

You kind of have to approach it as not as ethical, and that they skipped business ethics. Save that for your own conception. But if you can't do that you aren't wrong.

You aren't lazy, these people are impulsive in there work place unfairness, or judgement. It's like a compulsive behavior. It's the need to have complication. Like the "politics of dancing, the politics of feeling good." why is that even there. Because it's taking an environment of discontent and bickering it and superimposing it on a workplace environment to hot shot the environment actually being significant or meaningful. If you approach it with reason, you're in trouble or you are superlative. It's not a social standard. It's a need, which in sympathy you can understand, but the need to talk is often done because of humans discomfort with just being or not doing anything. That's not you being lazy, it's you encountering the spirit stick or the balleyhoo baton. People often choose being cruel and judgemental over being quiet and not talking, and instead listening because it can remind you of the void.

It might make sense for radio, and the concept of dead air or even parties, but it isn't work, to approach it that way is actual…
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Cornelius Gondleleg - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 04:40:13 EST ID:nHVfyxMH No.516689 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516664
People who can successfully fit in in places really do exist.
>>
Reuben Greenwater - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 16:51:21 EST ID:n5lrD8l2 No.516705 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516689
Not exactly common. At least what he would need to do so. It's hard to walk a path. Even if people aren't trying to stop you you still find that every step questions it. It's no coincidence that the dialogue of the board in a thread about trying to find respect turns to good natured ribbing to express cynicism. Because that's a way to get the acknowledgement of the need for respect without going over how hard it is to win respect. Especially when what you are caught in as a conflict is between self respect and being respect ful. You're going to come up against a social issue that's actually quite psychological meaning it's highly melodramatic.

People who "fit in" if you hear them out tell you the same tale. They fit in with a burden they don't get transparent respect that they earn if if they become too noticed for it, and they leave if it conflicts with basic self respect. The work place is the. Screwed. Because bosses don't know how to organize once they try to organize based on discipline. They don't make use of a win win because it makes it easier for employees, so they don't work as a good role playing game player or gm. Kind of like watching a baseball game and questioning a manager. They have tons of employees each with different statuses each at different points of understanding and leaning levels. Instead of consciously managing resources within limits and capacity it has more to do with who they think is trying to avoid the hammer. However they are overworking a favored "six Pokémon" team and those charizards will leave if you try to lay diwn that law to them in front of the 200 Taurus you just got on safari Zone. Because it only worked that way because they were literally going above a beyond the call of duty to appear as the role advertised. Which is a motto get Ben on the training tape and makes sense more as a part of the service we provide not as the instruction.

Trust me you lose your cooks and your experienced retail people left and right because of the duality of being supervised as a supervisor and other pedagogical problems that people see as mirrors to when they were new. Because they ac…
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Reuben Greenwater - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 16:51:21 EST ID:n5lrD8l2 No.516706 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516689
Not exactly common. At least what he would need to do so. It's hard to walk a path. Even if people aren't trying to stop you you still find that every step questions it. It's no coincidence that the dialogue of the board in a thread about trying to find respect turns to good natured ribbing to express cynicism. Because that's a way to get the acknowledgement of the need for respect without going over how hard it is to win respect. Especially when what you are caught in as a conflict is between self respect and being respect ful. You're going to come up against a social issue that's actually quite psychological meaning it's highly melodramatic.

People who "fit in" if you hear them out tell you the same tale. They fit in with a burden they don't get transparent respect that they earn if if they become too noticed for it, and they leave if it conflicts with basic self respect. The work place is the. Screwed. Because bosses don't know how to organize once they try to organize based on discipline. They don't make use of a win win because it makes it easier for employees, so they don't work as a good role playing game player or gm. Kind of like watching a baseball game and questioning a manager. They have tons of employees each with different statuses each at different points of understanding and leaning levels. Instead of consciously managing resources within limits and capacity it has more to do with who they think is trying to avoid the hammer. However they are overworking a favored "six Pokémon" team and those charizards will leave if you try to lay diwn that law to them in front of the 200 Taurus you just got on safari Zone. Because it only worked that way because they were literally going above a beyond the call of duty to appear as the role advertised. Which is a motto get Ben on the training tape and makes sense more as a part of the service we provide not as the instruction.

Trust me you lose your cooks and your experienced retail people left and right because of the duality of being supervised as a supervisor and other pedagogical problems that people see as mirrors to when they were new. Because they ac…
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Jarvis Sassleham - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 13:35:11 EST ID:Oi3cEJjf No.516718 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516706
I can't stand retail and service work either, I have immense respect for those who tough it out.

However there is a reason a lot of people work those sort of jobs and very few make a career of it. For most people they're the worst. Cooks and retail staff. I couldn't hack either but I do something else and I quite like it. I don't have a boss, I have a manager. He organises a football team with other guys in the office and has a team of 4 (which is already 1 over it's designated size) that he is responsible for. His manager has a rough idea what we're up to but only closely monitors 2 or 3 people and so on. They all know what their immediate are doing and have a rough idea what those further removed do, they have an overview and that's enough.

I think in those jobs like working a kitchen or retail there's a lot of fed up insecure people taking it out and proving themselves. However if you can last a while in those places you prove you have the basic skills that every environment requires. I cut my teeth in call centres, someone whose internet is broken I can understand and help. I proved I can handle the heat and prioritise workloads and shit, so now I can focus on doing what I actually enjoy and excel at.

Sounds like you've worked some bad places with bad management. Bad work. Bad training. Unrealistic expectations, I'd take death threats from a tough guy who just won't switch his microfilter over that any day.


ALWAYS TIRED AND OR DEPRESSION by Alice Cettingwen - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 10:37:31 EST ID:n1yNxChx No.516695 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Not sure if this should be on qq but I'd appreciate your advice anyway.

Anybody have any tips for having more energy and better mood throughout the day. I hate picking up a book and being so tired. I hate always avoiding people because I'm too tired and feel like a piece of garbage. I don't want to do anything with my day. I have trouble getting out of bed, keeping a job (socially I can't exist).
I'm not looking for anti-depressants. I want to change my lifestyle in order to feel better in these areas. So I want advice for that, preferably from people who have been there and gotten better. Here's what I do now.

-Exercise: I work out 3 days a week through weight lifting. Still relatively new at it. Going to try to pick it up to 6 days a week, adding a cardio day in between.
-Sleep: I don't sleep very well, and admittedly this is due to bad habits of internet and so forth. I'm going to start going to bed at 10pm and see where that gets me.
-Diet: I eat better than I did, more green things and so forth, but I still eat meat, milk, etc.
-Meditation: 5 days into the app Headspace. I'm going to continue with it.
-Network Spinal Analysis: it's a kind of massage, sort of. The idea is to trigger nerve in your body so that your body feels stuff and regains a natural sense of alignment. I've been hunched over for awhile. I've done this for about 2 months now, and my anxiety I think has gone considerably down. The anxiety I have now is more about knowing that I'm gonna be tired and feel like garbage, and because of that I'm going to be a drag to talk to, so I don't.

This is definitely ruining my life.
I had a bad childhood and I hate how these issues are still here at 24, I'm still miserable, and it fucking sucks. Like, there seems to be a 50 50 chance I'm gonna kill myself some day relatively soon. My social skills are pretty bad, but my avoidance is the worst problem. If I felt better it would be so, so much better. I realized last night that I have to decide to get better.. I've kind of been coasting, feeling too tired and shitty and dabbling, not keeping promises and standards to myself and so forth. I've been lazy, frankly. I…
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Nigel Breffingson - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 15:25:26 EST ID:R+8znrpI No.516703 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516696
Bullshit accumulates from any sort of source.

You appear to have some bullshit stuck in your head. Your body self cleans if it's working correctly. If you don't put bad shit in, let it sleep, exercise it and put good stuff in, it'll generally clean itself. I just removed some bullshit.

As for your colon, Martha's exercise and fasting gives your body time to clean shit out without putting more in.

I doubt it's meat and milk but you may have an intolerance or be eating shit meat. If you're eating meat don't eat processed meat like sausages and burgers.

It sounds like you're depressed and don't sleep enough and now are worrying about it more. I constantly grapple with tiredness but a good night's sleep helps a lot. Being tired is probably your biggest purely physical issue. You might be depressed because your life sucks and the only way to fix that is to methodically push through the bullshit. Sleep properly and look after yourself, get a job you don't hate, have a social life. Maybe that'll help. So lack of sleep and laziness basically.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, I've totally been there. I had a crap everything too. I feel like one of the symptoms of depression is loss of perspective. I'm going to be real here, my experience is that you will never live the life you think other people take for granted. I cannot tell you if that's what they actually live mind you. But you can be happy enough that aside from in the depths of a rare attack of depression you will be glad to be alive.
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Nigel Bunman - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 22:06:35 EST ID:y1KnkT+V No.516707 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Same background, OP, except I am about 20 years further down the road.

First, accept that you will ALWAYS be burdened with the programming you received as a child. The extent that it actually affects your life is your choice, but the things that happen to you during your formative years (which BTW you are still in) are the essence of who you are and how you think. Don't run away from that. If you got shitty programming as a child, you should question your own choices very critically, because your judgement may be coloured by these shitty experiences, in ways that are not easy to predict or control.

So, you are depressed as an adult, and need to cope with that. You are already doing a GREAT job, looking for ways to improve yourself and your situation. This is a major accomplishment, just realizing you need to change things. You should be happy with yourself for not getting too far gone, despite your fucking asshole parents and shit childhood. You are alive and capable of anything you desire!

OK, so I can only tell you what has worked for me. I try to run a half hour, 3 to 4 times per week. This is more beneficial than lifting weights, although I do that too. The running is where it's at though, gives you a very NICE feeling once you get used to it. I recommend doing this in the morning, before breakfast, so you can get your body accustomed to burning fat stores instead of glycogen/carbohydrates. Your brain will function MUCH better when your body is good at burning fat.

The other thing I recommend is learning proper nutrition, but it seems you're already on your way with that.

BTW make sure you always get enough sleep, and AVOID situations that will piss you off. Just avoid avoid avoid. And know your own trouble signs, if something is making you mad or depressed, fucking run.

I've been coping with this shit 30+ years, and the key is self-management. I have managed to not off myself yet, so I consider this a success. Depression is a life-threatening illness, so mere survival is a win.
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Jack Duckgold - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 00:53:58 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.516711 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This sounds a lot like me. I have bipolar II and am pretty much always moderately depressed and exhausted, both physically and mentally. I think the biggest factor for me is socialization with exercise, specifically cardio, coming in at a close second. Regular sleep/wake cycles are also very important. There's some research being done showing that social rhythms and routines are really important to maintaining a stable mood for people with bipolar. I'm not saying you're bipolar but it might be the same for you. You should have a routine that you follow religiously and it should include regular positive social interactions with people you like. For me if those interactions stop, I get depressed and start to shut down and never have any energy or motivation. I have horrible social anxiety and avoidance issues so this happens pretty much all the time and the few times I've managed to establish better routines that include set sleep/wake times, regular meals, regular exercise, and most importantly, social interaction, things have gone pretty well and I've had plenty of energy and things became so much fucking easier and more enjoyable. I think the key is to force yourself onto other people even when you're in that state of psychomotor retardation and can barely function. I'm a huge hypocrite, but hopefully you can do better. Good luck.
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Jack Duckgold - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 01:06:54 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.516712 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516711
Also, I should note that not all social interaction is equally beneficial. I hate making small talk with people I don't know well who talk about mundane details of their lives and I find this pretty draining, but when I get together with my smart, intuitive friends who talk about concepts that interest me and just chill without anxiety, it really recharges my batteries. I avoid them when I've been in a period of isolation because I feel like a retard. My brain is moving through molasses and my social anxiety won't let me relax, but after a while, usually with the help of drugs I can relax and the juices start flowing. It's getting over that initial hurdle of avoidance that is the hardest for me.
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Lydia Hoshbit - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 12:43:20 EST ID:MVY3P0AB No.516717 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I was just like you I really was. You are probably not going to like tbis awmser, but it's time to see a doctor. Start with yoir primary care physician, tell them everything you just said in this post. You said ypu have unresolved childhood issues, sobyou might have to talk them through with a therapist and do some CBT to unlearn any bad habits. I was just born crazy, so for me it was mostly about working with psychiatrists to find a comobnation of anti depresswnts that works with out fucking with my dick too much. Although I had to wait to land a job with insurance to do all this becasue I live in a third world county. Hope you're not in the same boat. Also, get a dog (a cat is fine too).


Regressing For 10 years by Martha Buzzwell - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 02:11:39 EST ID:ZtONMwJH No.516687 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I would just like some opinions on what is going on here if that's cool?

I'm 29 now, but I feel I have been regressing and withdrawing for the past decade; let me explain.

Back in my teens I was very social, I had several groups of friends in various social circles, and my phone book on my phone was with 100+ contacts. As I started to get to my late teens I become more and more socially anxious, to the point I would dip out of some situations without reason. I started to drop many of my friends, through choice, and over time what were childhood friends were pretty much gone forever.

In the past couple of years I have really got to grips with my anxiety and it is at a level where I would almost consider myself a person who feels a normal amount of anxiety socially, but still with hypochondria, but that is not the point of this thread. Even though I have my anxiety disorder under wraps scale speaking, I still feel I want to be further away from people. Right now I even feel I want to be alone from my best friend and girlfriend at times, alone in my house. I am happier this way and it feels like I am literally still withdrawing into a total recluse. And remember a lot of this has ben through choice, I have not exactly been outcast by society as such, there is a little of that going on, but it has been my doing.

I cannot pinpoint exactly why though. Sometimes I feel that most people are simply annoying and simple, the level of ignorance within society, how people are so easily manipulated and fooled gets to me. By this I mean manipulated by the system we live under. There are many small reasons like this as to why I feel like I want to be alone, totally alone. But there is a conflicting, the other side of me remembers back to when I was a young teen, with many friends. There were many great times to be had that's for sure.

>so basically, what the hell is going on with me in your opinion? Is it a symptom of some disorder or issue I have, or are some people literally happier totally alone? I just feel as if the older I get the more I want to be alone!
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Cornelius Gondleleg - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 04:54:26 EST ID:nHVfyxMH No.516690 Ignore Report Quick Reply
It sounds slightly similar to me except I didn't regress to this point. I never had a good social life, the closest was when I knew other kids to play Gameboy with when I was like 10.
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Charlotte Deppermeck - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 06:56:02 EST ID:rbmWf9Jx No.516691 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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There's a lot of ways to interpret the feelings you are having, but I can heavily relate to the need to draw away from everyone you know. The basic functions we are expected to perform in our society alienate us from the people around us, a condition to which there is no easy solution.

You can run away, into the forest, and life a hard life until you inevitably die young, sick, and alone

You can GTFO to some other city, meet new friends who might be worth having

You can die manually

You could tell other people about your situation, people you don't know or care about, and see what comes up. You've already done this here but sometimes IRL conversation works better.

Don't forget how harsh it is to be homeless and friendless. If you can't naturally feel compelled to develop friendship than you might manually remind yourself of the things you gain by knowing other people.


My Dad by Ian Fallerlere - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 00:47:54 EST ID:OZfgF7AM No.516686 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>There's three things that keep me from being a Nazi I'm black, a fag, and my dad's Liberace

I came out to my dad today fully. He took it alright.


I'm Scared by Eliza Woffingdock - Tue, 30 May 2017 00:07:57 EST ID:CSn6pXjM No.516600 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I keep hearing this tapping noise that goes from the right side of the wall, across the windows, and then back every few minutes. It woke me up. I live in a studio apartment and the only option is stay in or go out.

Its like a rattling quick tapping like fingers and when it crosses the windows the blinds move.

Fuck what do I do?
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Graham Blarringdidge - Thu, 01 Jun 2017 00:03:12 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.516645 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516644
Gotta talk OP up mang. OP, do what I already said, but if you still need a little help, take some PCP or 3-MeO-PCP.
>>
Isabella Honeywater - Thu, 01 Jun 2017 16:18:57 EST ID:lefl3LRQ No.516661 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Thanks for the replies guys, it happens every night, keeps happening. I'm gonna drink with a hammer ready and go DS3 on it tonight. I'm starting to think it's nice. Or you know, bears.
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Rebecca Snodspear - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 10:37:05 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.516670 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>516661

>drink with a hammer ready and go DS3 on it tonight

My man
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Basil Chickleshaw - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 10:45:25 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.516671 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516661
How'd it go nigga? Not a bad way to go provided you don't mind the potential property damage that comes from just going totally ballistic on it instead of a more controlled approach. Of course, given you were scared enough that you weren't even sure what to do about it, I'm not sure there was a better route available to you than imbibing a substance that lowers your inhibitions and committing to fucking up whatever it turns out to be. Hope you took care of b'niss nigga
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Edwin Dangernid - Sat, 03 Jun 2017 15:32:30 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.516682 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Don't worry, it's probably just the beginning of schizophrenia. It normally starts with tapping before moving on to voices.


Well here I am by Edward Smallham - Wed, 31 May 2017 19:54:36 EST ID:VkYjj6a7 No.516635 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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My whole family is dead. I don't feel like I have any real friends. I was homeless once for a little bit as a teenager. I feel like if I'm homeless again it will just be worse. I feel like I could die alone on the street an nobody would care. I know this is true. I've only ever had sex with prostitutes. I can't look anybody in the eyes when I speak because of all the shit that has happened to me in my life. I was so neglected as I child I don't think I will ever have any kind of social skills.

I keep having nightmares where I'm stuck in an abandoned house while my mother goes insane. Trapped in the room I had as a kid. If I ever get dementia I'm afraid I'm just going to live these memories over and over again.
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Ernest Nucklespear - Wed, 31 May 2017 20:07:56 EST ID:9vn86lM+ No.516636 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516635

op. GO DO SOMETHING. fuck your social skills, go somewhere go to a library and talk to somebody anybody, go to a church group and talk about the bible or some dumb shit.

just go somwehre and do soemthing, go find your place in society. I was neglected as a child too, but thats becuase my mother was neglected by her mother, end the pattern, go talk to someone even if its a therapist, find someone to talk too, once you find yourself relinquished of your insides you'll be able to let other people in.
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Polly Cummlewill - Wed, 31 May 2017 20:11:12 EST ID:zXWPadEm No.516637 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516636
Not that person but in addition to their advice pick up a hobby. Having a passion and interest to focus on in your life will do you a tremendous amount of good, I really really mean it. Having a hobby/talent opens up an entire new world.
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Fanny Honkincocke - Thu, 01 Jun 2017 03:23:49 EST ID:08b1uP9I No.516648 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You're not homeless though, you're sustaining yourself somehow, and that is an achievement.
You absolutely need to seek psychological help. To pull yourself out of that kind of trauma and mindset would be a nearly impossible feat alone.
It can be frustrating and painful and seem pointless sometimes but it's a step you will need to take so that you can begin to shift your perspective and build up the skills you're lacking.
No matter what you think now, you are capable of being ok.
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Ernest Bupperson - Sat, 03 Jun 2017 11:28:20 EST ID:UrQwPY3E No.516681 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516635
You're capable of writing a coherent text, an intelligent text, you're capable of communicating well enough. You're also capable of using a computer and the internet, and not just facebook. You're already better off than a lot of people. Like the other people said, try to find your place somewhere. Get a job that you don't hate, or at least that leaves you with some money and free time to be able to do things you actually enjoy, and in which you get to develop relationships to other human beings


Please Help Me Understand by George Fanderfare - Wed, 31 May 2017 20:37:10 EST ID:QTw/krQC No.516638 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Me: Sometimes i feel bad when you become upset or frustrated at something and tell me about it, but don't want to hear what i have to say, because i dont want you to feel that way

GF: How about I just don't talk to you anymore

Me: That makes me feel worse

I have feelings too

GF: I don't want to talk anymore

Me: What do you mean

GF: What it means

Me: What did i do
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Fanny Honkincocke - Thu, 01 Jun 2017 03:06:20 EST ID:08b1uP9I No.516647 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516638
perhaps she wants you to just listen & comfort her rather than offering your views or advice on the situation
I can kind of relate to the vibe of this conversation, like I've been that person who's mad and sad and fucked up mentally and getting pissed off at the people they love but is still trying desperately to explain the horrible things inside their mind.
It comes from being in incredible pain and it's not a state of mind you can think clearly in. If she's like that all or most of the time then she doesn't have time to think clearly about your relationship or your needs or feelings. This is also likely why some of the things she's saying don't make total sense.

Look, do you really think that you can or want to be the person that supports her through all the worst parts of her mental illness? Can you do it without ruining your own life?

It's difficult to say since I don't know anything else about you two, but going but this conversation alone, your relationship doesn't seem like it's healthy. She's obviously experienced a lot of trauma and it seems unlikely she's had a lot of healthy relationships with anybody, which would mean she hasn't learned how to even have one at all.

If you really want to stay with her then all you can do is support her to the best of your ability until she learns to take the steps needed to deal with her trauma.

I'm pretty lonely but I don't envy your position OP. Watching someone you love in pain when you can't do anything about it is maybe the worst feeling in the world. I am hoping for you.
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Rebecca Dumblepork - Thu, 01 Jun 2017 04:30:43 EST ID:PhlR3Lle No.516650 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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OP you need to chill out, like ASAP my man
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Jarvis Sankinmen - Thu, 01 Jun 2017 11:07:28 EST ID:2c08/Cs/ No.516652 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>OP expecting us to read a wall-o-text thats not a yellow story
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Ebenezer Hidgelock - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 00:03:34 EST ID:MWKkrduc No.516663 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>4 lines down.

Okay..look man. I'm gonna mean here but bear with me.
Most people will spend more time thinking about relationships than being in them. Honestly? You both sound unhappy as hell and she sounds like kind of a cunt. I'd break it off.
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John Clayshit - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 10:33:37 EST ID:1cQLZFD+ No.516669 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Thanks OP. I wasn't sure if I wanted to pursue things further with this girl who also happens to be a rape-victim, but now I am sure that I don't (even if she has glorious tits). I hope you find the same wisdom you've shown me.


No Job, No Car, No Money, No Life by Ian Fommleshaw - Fri, 26 May 2017 04:23:40 EST ID:FmbGZ3n+ No.516503 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I can't get a girl
cause I ain't got a car
I can't get a car
cause I ain't got a job
I can't get a job
cause I ain't got a car
So I'm looking for a girl with a job and a car
>>
Charles Trotstock - Fri, 26 May 2017 15:53:47 EST ID:f1qCqrLu No.516510 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Unfortunately girls with jobs usually really, really dislike guys without jobs ...
>>
Edwin Simblebirk - Sat, 27 May 2017 00:48:19 EST ID:HfkpTSOA No.516528 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516510
I just need to find a girl I can impress by showing her my dick. I'm a solid 10 inches but I'm a big loser.
>>
Graham Seckleworth - Sun, 28 May 2017 03:54:24 EST ID:08b1uP9I No.516556 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516528
Become a male escort for lonely rich women, they'll love what you've got & throw money at you so they can ride it. Solves all your problems
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Tony Montana - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 10:04:41 EST ID:UX/0kXxq No.516667 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516510

Bullshit!

I know a young jew psychologist who dated a slacker. They guy went from college to college (rich boy) trying to find his call and... he met her. They studied french and went to Quebec together.

The guy literally did nothing to earn her love or whatever. Maybe she was a vampire or she thought about the guy as some consolation price. Point is... at least the guy got some pussy.
>>
Rebecca Snodspear - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 10:33:34 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.516668 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516667

Well.. he was rich.


Lost My Job by Phoebe Clopperwell - Wed, 31 May 2017 01:58:16 EST ID:ixdRdLpL No.516624 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1496210296780.jpg -(62556B / 61.09KB, 393x455) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 62556
I fucked up on purpose at work and lost my job just now, I was giggling all the way out the door.

To anybody else, my stupid attendance games aren't very funny so I'll spare you the details.

ITT share funny job loss stories, I need to know that I'm not the only one who's amused.
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Sidney Grimfuck - Wed, 31 May 2017 07:41:58 EST ID:20yzDQ/R No.516626 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I was working at a mom n pop deli where they paid under the table for the first month before legit hiring people. It was 2 and a half months in when I was working the sandwich counter, peak lunch hour with a decent line, when the owner walls by (old Jewish bitch). I ask, "hey when am I going to be able to claim this income on mu taxes?" And she says "idk" so I take off my apron and bounce the fuck out
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Augustus Briblingdale - Wed, 31 May 2017 09:34:04 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.516628 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516624
Whatever your motivations OP getting sacked is the shittiest way to go about not working.

You've fucked a lot of people over by doing that and made yourself look like a tit to everyone you worked with. Even if you don't care about that if you try to get a job you can expect shitty references.
>>
Jarvis Sankinmen - Thu, 01 Jun 2017 11:10:18 EST ID:2c08/Cs/ No.516653 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516624
All good OP.. Lost my fancy corporate office job a month ago (on 420) and now I have a shitty retail job.

Tide goes in, tide goes out.


WHY CAN'T I LIE TO MY DICK by anon - Mon, 13 Mar 2017 21:16:59 EST ID:8SYj4jqr No.514388 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hi pals
a psychologist is too many calls and hours away, a priest would not understand, a bartender would not take it seriously. A diary would give me answers, but hell, you could too.
So, I've got this problem.
I've grown up as a weirdo in a nice town in the countryside, good student, good grades, good brain.
Then I grew up kinda handsome, kinda weirdo and with an 8 inches dick.
While attending university, I spent a few years learning all I could about girls.
You know, in the years of messaging you have to start from group writing of messages for the girls.
You study answers, you learn how the chat speaks over the words.
A crazy friend of mine then introduced me at the study of deeper and deeper knowledge of seduction. It was like we were writing out own
"Book of Seduction". It worked.
[FREE PRO TIP: start from Kierkegaard]
Some of the best years of my life. I learned how to pick any woman I'd liked and how to get her crazy for me.
I started tutoring other shy guys to help them with girl issues.
Shy often means smart; smart people just need to UNDERSTAND HOW IT WORKS. And the work is done.
I do swear that while teaching this, I never treated women as objects or preys.
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Betsy Hicklematch - Sun, 28 May 2017 16:02:36 EST ID:2cRqUGEL No.516570 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514388
It's hard to get ingrained habits away from you. So set up a new goal. Pour as much charm as you can into your single gal. The one that means the most to you. I'm sure you do anyway, you need to get out of the thought pattern of "on to the next girl" if you truly believe she's the one.
With other girls, be the guy that looks out for them, not tries to fuck them. You can make them smile when they're feeling down, you can comfort them and charm them, but just know when you're doing it too much, and be aware that you might have to say no when they want to fuck you. Men are kinda conditioned to accept any form of sex when it's offered up to them on a silver platter, especially someone like you that's pretty much made it his hobby, but seriously man don't even allow any other girl to kiss you.

Make the other girls jealous of your relationship, make the other girls jealous of your girlfriend, make the other girls jealous that they can't have you and there's only one girl in your life. It'll drive 'em crazy and you'll still get your fun with flirting, but keep it at that. Maybe find pleasure in the denial of what they want, and then go home and fuck the brains out of the love of your life, because there's no greater feeling than that.

I mean to the average person this is terrible advice, don't do that. But if you're narcissistic, if you like playing games and fucking with people (and in your case fucking people), then that personality trait is gonna be a long hard journey to get out of. Embrace it and channel it elsewhere for now. Be a better person. Work on yourself and work on getting out of the "must fuck everything" mindset, but until then, play the game for fun, not to win a prize at the end.
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Betsy Hicklematch - Sun, 28 May 2017 16:04:35 EST ID:2cRqUGEL No.516571 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516570
also I'd advise talking to a sexual therapist if you can. It doesn't sound like it's the worst case in the world but it'll be something to think about if the thoughts get worse because that is indicative of some form of addiction to sex/the chase/etc.
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Oliver Pabberchot - Tue, 30 May 2017 14:15:57 EST ID:PIDKMkeC No.516611 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If she's "the one" then monogamy should be celebrated, not hated.

Perhaps she isn't the one?
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Cyril Chettingford - Tue, 30 May 2017 15:07:31 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.516613 Ignore Report Quick Reply
COOLIDGE EFFECT

OP is doomed until he gets too ugly for the women he normally wants.
>>
Clara Crenningfuck - Tue, 30 May 2017 16:35:28 EST ID:e1ptL1WV No.516615 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Go to the next part of kierkagarrd.

Becoming an artist.


2 girls, 2 rejections, same goddamn reason by Lydia Grimwell - Fri, 26 May 2017 17:27:40 EST ID:pUH3gQw7 No.516514 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1495834060310.jpg -(365879B / 357.30KB, 1920x800) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 365879
Hey, help me. Am I a worthless piece of shit?

>Know a girl, as a friend
>Start hanging out with friend, she is awesome
>Hang out more and more
>Become very close
>Catch feelings
>Ask her out on a date

She says she needs to think about it. She then comes back to me and tells me in no explicit terms that she loves me, she loves hanging out with me, she would totally fuck me, but she can't. She can't because we are friends and doing that would change the dynamic of 'us'. She's scared I may fall to deep with her and then she'll hurt me if she ends it. I tell her time and time again she's overthinking it and we should just date for a while. She doesn't budge. Every time we've spoken about it, she apologises over and over. She feels bad every time she thinks about it.

>New girl
>Know her through a social group of friends, but we are not close
>See each other in person once every couple of months
>We never talk outside of these meetings
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Hamilton Tootridge - Tue, 30 May 2017 09:20:05 EST ID:gmpdueKa No.516604 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516595

Yeah, this guy.

I dunno how OP asked them for a drink, but you don't start attaching strings to these things right off the bat. You'd be asking for too much commitment.
>>
Hamilton Tootridge - Tue, 30 May 2017 09:25:52 EST ID:gmpdueKa No.516605 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516603

You could always chase after college girls in your late 20s and older; just keep your body desirable, dress like you're attractive, and use that experience to land them in bed!

You could be curing daddy issues all around campus.
>>
Polly Nendleputch - Tue, 30 May 2017 13:39:05 EST ID:pUH3gQw7 No.516610 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516597

Even i can tell, this is really wrong

>>516604

The first girl was a little complicated because i couldn't just say 'Would you like to go for a drink?' because we do that all the time as friends. So i said 'Hey, if you haven't realised yet - im into you, and im wondering if you feel the same way?'. She responded 'I dont know im bad at this' and then two days later she sent me about 5 paragraphs explaining how she loves hanging out with me, she would totally fuck me, but we cant because we're friends and she wouldn't want to hurt me if things went wrong and bla bla bla.

The second girl, i had never messaged before. We hadn't talked outside the occasional time our social circles would get together. On the last occasion our social circles got together, we spoke a lot during the night and then spent the last hour in the club just making out with each other. The next day i texted her and we had a short conversation saying she had a 'Really fun night'. A day later i texted her simply: 'Hey, if you're free this weekend, come and see me for a drink?'

She then sent me 4 paragraphs explaining how she's into me, she doesn't regret the night, but she's worried that i will make things weird on the occasions our social circles get together, and shes worried if it 'goes wrong' she'll no longer be able to hang out with the group on the occasions we do.

Idk guys... I've tried to be as relaxed and casual as i could. Im asking for a single date. Ive not asked for a relationship with either of them and im just so frustrated that they've assumed i want that, then they've assumed it wouldn't go well, and then they've assumed that if i want that and it doesn't go well - I'd make it weird?

Am i wrong for wanting to date people i at least somewhat know and have met before and care about? Am i going to get this 'We cant because it may make things weird with mutual friends' everytime?...
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Cyril Chettingford - Tue, 30 May 2017 15:04:28 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.516612 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516610

I can see how the first one went wrong; you pronounced your feeling for her. Girls like that 'chemistry' thing to happen where there's just a natural flow into a relationship. Of course, that flow can be directed subtly.

The second one, I dunno how the whole conversation went, obviously, but you don't ask if she's free, you tell her to meet you at x on y o'clock because it'll be fun.
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Hannah Worthingstone - Tue, 30 May 2017 18:16:44 EST ID:9vn86lM+ No.516617 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516514

Hey OP have you considered just organising dates with these girls and have them come along? why doy ou need to make a big thing out of "going on a date?" just go "hey i want to see x movie? keen?". Whenever she does something you're going to be there and just dont be the "beta male" that people say, just always act like you and her and potentially going to be in a relationship, act like a boyfriend would act, you want her to message you and go "hey, what are we doing this weekend?" or "hey, doing x want to come?"

This is how you get these girls, like it or not but going on a date means a lot, it means A LOT, so just "want to go see this local band at this local bar, come with me?" "have you ever done karaoke? we should totally go do it!" etc. i mean ive streamlined the conversation a lot, but you get the point i hope?

This is how my previous partners have got me, because im shy as hell and have a propensity to say no when people want me to make a commitment.

If shes worth it, then shes worth it, if you just want something to move incredibly quickly then tinder.


Boredom, breaking the habit. by James Cresslecocke - Sat, 27 May 2017 15:03:31 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.516540 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hi guys, I've never kept that many friends and frankly never wanted many of them but i'm finding it hard to adjust to having none. I've recently broke up with a girlfriend of 3 years, during the relationship i lost contact with all of my friends. I am completely broke, I couldn't even afford a bus ride at the moment and so i'm stuck in my local area which has pretty much nothing to do in it, nothing at all. I am going to University in september and i'm sure i can make some friends when i get there but how can i stop the boredom of pretty much being stuck in the house due to having no money.

I realise a lot of the suggestions are going to tell me to do whatever my hobbies are or to look harder for things to do in my local area but i'm starting to loose all motivation to do any of the things i used to enjoy, instead i just browse the internet waiting to go to sleep

So pretty much what I want to know is, how can i get some drive back to do the things I used to enjoy and how can I do that without spending money.
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Cedric Seckleridge - Sat, 27 May 2017 21:41:58 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.516548 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516547
Sounds cool but i just realised that the dating thing would probably suck, cause nobody goes on a completely free date, I cannot afford anything at all even buying one coffee would fuck me at this stage, won't be getting any spare money for at least a few months
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Cedric Seckleridge - Sun, 28 May 2017 10:27:57 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.516565 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>new problem
So this is a new thing, i just didn't want to have double threads on the front page, hopefully someone sees this and can offer advice.

My ex recently moved out of my house, she's been in her new place for about 5 days. She took the essentials of her stuff that she needed when she moved out and I said she could keep the rest of her stuff at mine until the next day when she'd come collect some more. When she went I lent her a pretty nice suitcase which I would like back.

Anyway the day after she moved out she never showed up and I later found out she'd decided to go to the bar with her new boyfriend instead this kinda fucked up my plans for the day as i'd stayed at home to help her with her stuff. She was working on the following days and apparently couldn't come over to get it. Today comes along and due to not having a phone i hit her up on facebook messenger and explained i'd like her to come get her stuff tomorrow, she wouldn't reply past "i can't" and she said it was a bad time, i asked her when i could get in touch and she didn't know then blanked me. I'm paraphrasing that last bit but i got the vibe she just didn't give a shit.

How do i get her to come get her stuff and how do i get my snazzy suitcase back.
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Betsy Murdford - Sun, 28 May 2017 10:47:32 EST ID:n1yNxChx No.516566 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516565
put her stuff in a box in a corner and forget about it. you can't make her come get it, so don't inconvenience yourself.
did you tell her you wanted the suitcase and that it's important to you? maybe go get it yourself sometime and be careful about who you lend things to in the future
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Cedric Seckleridge - Sun, 28 May 2017 10:49:30 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.516567 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516566
Yeah she promised to return it when she left, she knew the value of it, it was my grandads.

I can't put her shit in a box in the corner, it literally fills my entire spare room and part of another, she has so much stuff it's insane
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Martin Pozzleput - Mon, 29 May 2017 04:37:12 EST ID:zbYXBcnx No.516582 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516567
Didn't read thread but throw the shit in the yard. Pour lighter fluid on it. Ignite. Enjoy your choice of vice while it burns. Go to bed for the night, knowing you have free space and a well deserved victory at the hands of the mighty flames of destruction.


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