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Dumped... again by Basil Sashwore - Sat, 28 Jan 2017 23:53:16 EST ID:NS+wEE+H No.512812 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>just moved to a new city, met a girl through a dating app (not tinder)
>Girl broke off fling with me after 4 months
>made a gracious exit, didn't burn bridges, but did cut all contact on fb, texting, etc.


>"You're ambitious, funny, good looking, and having sex with you was great... but we just don't have a connection. I've hooked up with dudes for shorter periods of time and felt more intimate with them than I do with you, and we've been seeing each other for months"

She also didn't like that I *still* don't have a social circle here.

How the fuck do I recover from this? I feel like total trash.
I feel like shit. I feel worthless, and HUGELY inadequate to those extroverted natural social dudes who can talk a girl into a fucking orgasm.

it's going to be hard as fucking balls to find a girl better than this one. What the fuck do I do?

I really liked her, and it just sucks to know that the hardest thing to improve- my personality, 'game' and 'smoothness' is holding me back. I busted my ass to get fit, a job, and all of that work feels for nothing.
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Sophie Pickstock - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 13:20:57 EST ID:9kSXGOTL No.512946 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>512886
You don't know that. No one knows that.

Even if you ignore all the advice in this thread, just think that in a few months time you'll be thinking about this less, then a few months after that you'll hardly think about it at all.

Eventually this wont play on your mind like it currently is and it'll all be in the past, just a memory. You'll feel better eventually.
>>
Clara Wibblebet - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 18:10:01 EST ID:adWLbtSo No.512953 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You gotta just reassess what happened. You succeeded, just not how you thought. I know how it feels. Try to just be intimate with everyone but also have some confidence. You'll have girls feeling a connection to you when you don't. From there you can just choose. It doesn't matter to you if you don't really have it. They are who needs to have it
>>
Phineas Shittinggold - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 18:10:12 EST ID:QIyDMvDx No.512954 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You gotta just reassess what happened. You succeeded, just not how you thought. I know how it feels. Try to just be intimate with everyone but also have some confidence. You'll have girls feeling a connection to you when you don't. From there you can just choose. It doesn't matter to you if you don't really have it. They are who needs to have it
>>
Phineas Billingfoot - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 20:49:57 EST ID:pCPQRsXK No.512958 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>512825
probably comes down to belief then

in my last and only relationship that went two years and a half. I was recounting a theory from sociology that was taught about women and men. That men seek an theory of justice out of the idea that it must be a something. You could say an order or even a chaos(in my understanding of the idea) but it was expressed as an order, and that women react based on how they feel. So this was given as a divide to understand what is good and bad. I was discussing it with this said girlfriend and her mother, and at the end they both laughed knowingly and said "sounds like men" this really tripped me out for some reason. I originally was sharing it out of interest, like a new piece of understanding in a macro sense that opens up the brain. I guess probably still trying to seek out encouragement in an exploratory sense for learning or seeing things on a macro level in everyday details. Sort of like what your saying to achieve my ambition which was myriad but consistent and long running, and included the idea of "ideas that go higher." But right then i went from worrying about the romantic and sexual alienation to facing a demon i had yet to face perhaps in the jungian way of the males irrational shadow out of concern over what we would do if there was a conflict between right and wrong. And basically yelled not audibly louder but in hurt stricken manner "what would do if we couldn't tell right from wrong, we would need discussion!" then a lengthy silence followed.

Not only girlfriends but social circles and old friends can find you as an attack even if they don't mean it that way, when you are trying to find your place in the world, but not only that what the world means.

You chose in an idea where in rational gravity, whether grey or not , that what went wrong would have to be some thing you could actually change. Where she explained it on the other side of this divide.

On some level even though you are completely normal, this is actually a matix tier level assertion. You, we, and I look like neo. Solving an intellectual puzzle that seems to assert some indivdual truth situationally even though we have a recognition of the other person's belief in that subject matter. Because skepticism does play.

The other part may seem you whether in your head or hers, or just notes you have accumulated in context, as a kick in the nuts.

because by even asserting an idea as pragmatic as yours the other party might suggest something about you not getting it. You probably don't come from an interpersonal standpoint where asking questions is a bad thing when sorting out problems, because it's meant to start a discussion.
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Polly Brooklock - Fri, 03 Feb 2017 01:48:42 EST ID:V+RrLaKM No.512982 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>512958
That's some really dank shit you smoking nigga lmao


Does it ever get better by David Clarringchag - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 21:14:36 EST ID:mR2VxEtA No.512961 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>busiest 6 months of my life are over
>feel like i can start living again
>finally contact friends again
>they aren't interested
>go hang out with girlfriend
>remember why i thought our relationship of 7 years is unhealthy and depressive
>don't want to commit to hobbies i was once good at anymore because i simply don't have the time to commit to them anymore, and being bad at things just frustrates me even more
>spend most of my free week alone wondering why i'm alone and unhappy
>everything will just start again in a few days

How do you remain positive for the future when we are just supposed to slave ourselves away for 40 years, there's no way I can feel excited about that. I just want some personal time to spend on doing the things I enjoy doing, but currently I feel like I'm going to have a mental breakdown sometime soon from just keeping up the status quo

Help
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David Clarringchag - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 22:32:31 EST ID:mR2VxEtA No.512969 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>512966
>The only optimistic thing I can see coming out of this is that they literally might have to implement a basic minimum income just to keep everything afloat.

They are currently experimenting with this in my city, check it out. https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/06/netherlands-utrecht-universal-basic-income-experiment/487883/

My issue primarily is that I need to work a lot because of my huge study debt. And it's going to take plenty of years to get rid of that dent. Promotions of sorts are not happening for some time either. Feels like living life just to get by, instead of enjoying it. You already got how I feel though
>>
Lillian Pittham - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 22:45:27 EST ID:NoKU4Mj+ No.512971 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>512969

That's awesome! I think I heard about that, really encouraging to see it slowly becoming an agenda. A big shame that the Swiss rejected the proposal but I'm confident that over time it will gain more and more public support.

>My issue primarily is that I need to work a lot because of my huge study debt.

How does the student debt repayment system work in the Netherlands? Is it just like a normal private bank loan?

In the UK you only have to make repayments of 9% of your income above £21,000. So basically, if you never make use of your degree and always earn a mediocre salary, you never actually have to pay off any of your debt.

I always thought of the Netherlands as being a more progressive country than the UK, but I guess not everything will be. If your student loan is the main issue is moving to another country to avoid paying it an option?
>>
David Clarringchag - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 22:51:27 EST ID:mR2VxEtA No.512972 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>512971
Basicly, they changed things up so now you have to rent the entire thing but against 0% interest rate. Also I took longer than usual because I'm a doofus so that adds up.

>If your student loan is the main issue is moving to another country to avoid paying it an option?
Welp, even so I would miss the Netherlands
>>
Lillian Pittham - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 23:13:58 EST ID:NoKU4Mj+ No.512974 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>512972

>so now you have to rent the entire thing

Okay, so do you make the same repayments even if you're earning nothing or a really low income? If yes then I can see that must really suck if you're not on a high income. How much do the repayments come to per month?
>>
David Clarringchag - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 23:28:28 EST ID:mR2VxEtA No.512976 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>512974
About 450 a month. The thing also is, I'm still studying at the same time as well. I got my bachelor degree last year but I'm trying to both follow a masters, as having a job, as trying to paying for money I rented to do my bachelor, while trying to live as well. Working as much as I can besides doing university work is killing me but I feel like I have to do it now to avoid even bigger troubles later (e.g. even bigger debts)


ever been in love with your clingy best friend who you fuck sometimes but doesn't love you back by Wesley Draffinghall - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 19:41:11 EST ID:qLFQNtUS No.512955 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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you snore so easy on the fact
you make me so happy
you are the air I breathe
pathetic I know
thank you for asking but I'€™m not sad
thank you for taking 10 seconds to wonder
I'€™ll wake up tomorrow
with an appetite for
juvenile self-destruction
I didn€™t move out because of you
but I didn€™t stay either
I can€™t wait to get high on this angst
might just go because apparently
Im too fucking reactive
over something that
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Phineas Billingfoot - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 20:24:00 EST ID:pCPQRsXK No.512957 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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yes it's not fun.

But you'll make it out.

You will probably do more awesome poetry and get creative.


my zen by Fanny Mackleforth - Wed, 01 Feb 2017 04:46:29 EST ID:wuxp3ASr No.512922 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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tl;dr to beginning of the post: All I want to do with my life is spend hours doing yoga, smoking weed and meditating

longer version:

I would describe myself good looking and muscular, I have a job and enough money to myself a bit richer than average, but that's not because of how much money I spend but rather how little I need to use money. Lately the time I've spent being close with certain people has taught me that there's this type of people who really attempt to make me their partner.

But I am not interested. I jvery regularly want to take my space, withdraw to being alone and get lost in 3-6 hour long sessions of yoga, physical exercise, meditation and smoking pot. I do love being close to people, but I do not want to commit sharing all of me with any one single people exclusively.

I feel like the people who seek close(d) relationships find the same relief in being with their partner that I find when I focus on my solitude.

Is this selfish? Is there something wrong with me? After all, I am honest with people and treat them with respect when I am with them. But should I invest to social relations in a way that affects my own happiness? It seems like so many of us are ready to kind of sacrifice their peace of mind to things that circle around people they feel affection towards.
>>
Fanny Gandledale - Wed, 01 Feb 2017 08:40:34 EST ID:5JYKa3yb No.512923 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>512922
What the fuck these weird ass threads man.
If you feel perfectly fine with being by yourself and doing yoga you should just do that lol.
>>
Cyril Pittworth - Wed, 01 Feb 2017 13:25:49 EST ID:583UPQsG No.512927 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>512922
I wouldnt worry about being alone
Id worry about your insecurity about being alone
>>
Ernest Blatherridge - Wed, 01 Feb 2017 17:23:35 EST ID:SvrL9OfC No.512933 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>512922
Whether or not something is wrong with you is a matter of perspective. Considering your own perspective is the only one that matters to you, I don't see why you care enough to wonder if you're really all that different and if that's somehow wrong. If you want to find out if there's something to investing yourself in a long term relationship, give it a try. There's nothing anybody can tell you that will determine whether it's actually worth pursuing or not. If you try it out with an open mind, you can confirm either way whether it was or wasn't worth it. If you don't feel like bothering with it, then don't.
>>
Eliza Cuzzletune - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 00:28:03 EST ID:rBZAFHJz No.512936 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I don't think your missing out on having a partner to share things with if you've never had one to begin with. I always felt fine doing my own thing and didn't need anyone else to get to a state of fulfillment until I decided to get into a relationship with someone than that all changed. Being with someone can change the way you view the world in such a way that may seem more profound because it's a view you share with that other person rather than witnessing everything through just the lens of your own perception.

It's like the saying "what has been seen cannot be unseen". Once you see things through the eyes of a partner you can't ignore that extra vision you've acquired and you will always remember what it felt like to share that connection.

It's just fine doing what you're doing! You would know if it was something you were missing because you would be wanting for it which you aren't. There is a lot of downsides and pain that you can open yourself up to just to gain someone else's perspective and I would argue it's not worth potentially sacrificing precious energy that could be harnessed to help you reach a more enlightened state of being.
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Cedric Fobberstug - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 16:36:03 EST ID:IuddEkns No.512951 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>512922
You'd get bored of that in 3-6 months. I guarantee it . You're probably just looking for ways to deal with work fatigue.


That transition class didn't do shit. by Angus Sushham - Mon, 30 Jan 2017 19:43:36 EST ID:bQLxRx6l No.512881 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Officially became a retired veteran two days ago after nearly a month of terminal leave. They found bats in the belfry, and I fucked up my knee, so looking at a decent VA disability check. Thing is, now that I don't have to wake up fuckshit early in the morning, or go to work and literally despise every moment of my waking life, I don't know /what/ to do.

I'm living with my fiancee currently in a city I don't recognize, with no connects, the only person I know here is her (kinda right fucked myself there), and my meager list of "hobbies" that I had time to do when I was a militaryfag between working, working out, eating, or sleeping is not cutting it. Planning on school fall semester of this year, but I just kinda feel stalled out. Not sure what to do with myself now that I'm a civvie again.
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Cornelius Sushlock - Tue, 31 Jan 2017 11:02:52 EST ID:f3p2z4Lf No.512907 Ignore Report Quick Reply
take yo hiking and do acid
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Fucking Crinningpuck - Tue, 31 Jan 2017 13:07:39 EST ID:ThAKO7Q1 No.512908 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Basically, OP, you need two things: a community, and a mission. Going to school is one of your options; it doesn't really matter what you decide to do, pick a major and pursue it, and do things like join study groups and the like. Another option is volunteer work. You need to give yourself reasons why you "have to" get up and go do stuff, and people to share the experience with. You're right that degenerating into a NEET won't do you any long-term good, and it's terribly unfair to a partner to expect them to be everything to someone. Just pick something that necessarily brings you into contact with others and go out and make it your new mission.
>>
Nigel Sibbershit - Tue, 31 Jan 2017 15:30:19 EST ID:hhQhcuad No.512915 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>512881
You've got the opportunity to do a job for love rather than money. Assuming you keep getting those cheques you could work part time or volunteer or do something that you wouldn't be able to live off because of low pay and hours because even then part time work leaves you a little better off.

If you can work full time in the 9 to 5 sense just do that. Remember if those cheques are coming you are able to do jobs for the joy of doing them.

Working a bit gives you something to talk to and a better connection to most people and I'm sure you know that. So why not work? You can take any old job but you can also afford to choose one that you'll be happy to turn up for or that doesn't make you hate your life. If you have a few time constraints it will force you to be more efficient with your remaining hours too.
>>
Cyril Fanbanks - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 12:23:22 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.512940 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>512881

Figure out a place you would like to be in the future. I know that's hard, I'm still doing it myself, but once you have a general idea of what you'd like to do with yourself, you'll be able to move towards that general direction. And if that direction includes an education, do that. School is way more interesting than a 9-5.

I made a diagram of what I liked and disliked about my job, and searched for a subject that fit those criteria. Maybe if you take what you liked and disliked from the military, you could find (or at least spot) a place out there that will satisfy your drives and ambitions.
>>
Cedric Fobberstug - Thu, 02 Feb 2017 16:29:08 EST ID:IuddEkns No.512950 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>512907
This man spits truth. Although I recommend mushies.


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