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I don't know why I feel this way. by Henry Blackdale - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 20:43:40 EST ID:pQ7DH+oR No.517833 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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My ex is moving overseas and I feel ripped to shreds. She was a toxic, abusive cunt. I still haven't quite fully recovered from the trauma of dating her, even after 5 years. Thankfully I don't see her much outside of academic settings or local shows/the occasional club night.

Still, I respect her as a colleague. She's brilliant as fuck. I enjoy working with her. I took her virginity in high school the first time we dated (we dated twice, once in high school and later in undergrad). The second time we dated ended up being my longest relationship. She is one of the most formative people in my life.

I don't get it, she was a such a bitch and I'm still angry at her for all she said and did, and we really only see each other 3-4 times a year now, but I feel like I've been torn in two. Why the fuck are humans the way we are?
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Charlotte Blathercocke - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 22:35:11 EST ID:pQ7DH+oR No.517882 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Oh dude it's so obvious she has it. Like the only symptom she doesn't show is self-harm. Even my friend who's legit *diagnosed* Borderline Personality Disorder who has met her is like "Oh yeah that bitch has it." They're dangerous because they're so fucking THRILLING. They can also be extremely charismatic, and she has charisma in spades. She's fucking dangerous.
Hannah Cebberfoot - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 23:31:19 EST ID:p489bJ/X No.517883 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I think my ex fwb may have it. I cried in front of her one time and she straight up had a smile on her face. I really can't tell! What are some sure fire ways you can tell? She did have some sexual abuse when she was younger.
Charlotte Blathercocke - Fri, 04 Aug 2017 08:07:48 EST ID:pQ7DH+oR No.517884 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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BPD has a biochemical basis but is often "unlocked" by a particularly traumatic event (parent leaving the child when young, drug addiction, sexual assault).... Not always, however. My ex experienced no major trauma in her life.

Did she constantly fly off the handle at the most unexpected moments? Accuse you of shit you didn't do? Freak out thinking you'd abandon her? Cut herself? Have black-and-white thinking ("splitting") about friendships and relationships? Cuz my ex did all of those things except cut herself: she's too vain to do that.
Beatrice Donningted - Fri, 04 Aug 2017 10:37:53 EST ID:N4q9OQ01 No.517885 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I didn't know anime girls could be this dangerous.
Martin Dodgedire - Fri, 04 Aug 2017 14:08:18 EST ID:u0BMBKrI No.517893 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I've banged/dated a few crazies in the fandom. Shit's thrilling even though it always blows up in my face

Desire to hurt small animals, even through im a adult already by Hedda Sacklehall - Mon, 31 Jul 2017 02:42:55 EST ID:vPXIYoJk No.517805 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So, i guess everyone reads about how serial killers start with small animals as kids.
Thing is, i've started feeling this urge, to hurt some animals, strongly, and im a adult, a 22 years old.
Im not sociopathic, in fact, i used to be a vegetarian and had to stop for health reasons, and i plan to become one again someday, i specially love animals like dogs, horses and cows, the idea of hurting any of those, kinda frightens me.
But with some very specific animals, i feel this desire to hurt and kill then, i remember first feeling it as a kid with cats, and to this day, i've dealt with tons of animals, yet strangely, i've only noticed this desire with cats and recently, cockatiels.
Those were some cat puppies i found in my grandma's house, i remember caring about then and trying to give then warmt at first, as i would act with other animals, but i started feeling that one urge to hurt then, i didn't do anything about it, but at the time it felt really strange.
Second time i've felt this was like 2-3 years ago i think, i was still with my ex girlfriend, we dropped acid together, and there was this one baby cat at the house.
At first, i remember getting really cool with it, i was tripping really hard, so at the time, i've felt like me and this cat probably knew eachother from some past life, and we were meant to meet again.
Then my ex started freaking out in her solipsistic way, she started believing she was faking about me existing, and asked why she pretends we have anything between us, at the time it felt like being stabbed in the heart, so i just stood there in shock, she then got really sick and went to puke at the bathroom, while i stood motionless.
Her cousin, came, and while also tripping, she slapped me, because she thought i should be helping my girlfriend, unaware of anything. It was basically one of the worst experiences i had.
I tried to brush it off at the time, cause my ex and her cousin apologized, but that obviously made me enter some really dark places, i tried to put something to play in my cellphone, and remember the cellphone started showing dead bodies to me (in my head only), and i felt like everything turned into something demoniac, it was then when the desire to hurt that cat appeared, i didn't hurt him obviously, but at the time it felt so tempting, to realize he was so fragile, i could crush him with my hands, its hard to explain, but it felt like he deserved it, because he was asking to much from me, "how can this thing demands my attention and respect? I could kill him easily", and those megalomaniac feelings.
I didn't hurt him, but to this day that scared me.
Last desire, came with a girl im seeing, she has a cockatiel, and i started feeling the urge to kill that bird lately.
I don't really love her, being honest, i feel a huge prejudice towards her, because she is in that constant victim state, we fucked casually, but i never thought she was really attractive, she was always talking about how she never gets attached to anyone and doesn't want anything serious, but thing is, she got really attached to me.
Im a real coward at this point, pretending to love her, just cause im afraid of hurting her feelings, she tells me she loves me all the time, and is the kind of person that suffocates you, and then get sad if you don't give her the attention she wants at the level she wants, but she is someone who really let herself go, has ridiculous high standards, while not having either beauty, talent or intelligence, the kind of person who doesn't want any criticism, because she can't take anything without breaking down completely.
That said, i realized i started to feel angry with her, even through i get worried with her, she is in the end, someone who i would call a friend, but the situation where im at, scared to hurt her, but not sharing her feelings, leave me feeling angry and lost, i realized then, it started turning into a urge to hurt that bird.
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Walter Foshsteck - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 15:14:30 EST ID:np18dSbG No.517829 Ignore Report Quick Reply
break up with the girl, buy a small kitten and a cockatiel and kill them somewhere remote, you'll be happy afterwards
Rebecca Bunlock - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 15:53:27 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.517831 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I think this desire is always connected to a sense of being frustrated and powerless. Power and control is what killing is all about for psychopaths, it makes them feel powerful and in control, they use violence as a coping mechanism for emotions they can't deal with. You're obviously feeling frustrated with your girl problems at the moment but you don't know what to do and the frustration is boiling up and you want to lash out. You need to get rid of the girl and the bird for the sake of everyone involved, including yourself.
Nell Chobberhurk - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 01:51:27 EST ID:FZdBg+mx No.517860 Ignore Report Quick Reply
nigga what the fuck is a cat puppy?
Basil Clucklepidging - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 10:46:12 EST ID:XS6JMhmD No.517867 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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It's like a dog but it's also a cat
Charles Blickleway - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 13:51:16 EST ID:jPpWgI0N No.517868 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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OP your shit was TL;DR but I also have urges to hurt small animals. Sometimes a thought manifests itself to just...bite my cockatiels (I too have a cockatiel. Tiel crew yo.) head off...the thought makes me uncomfortable, and it's easy to say "That's not me." but it is me. And the sooner we all realize that the better. The dark parts of us are us. They aren't "intrusive". They are in their home. Us. Now control that impulse. I of course also love my pet and would be emotionally distraught if he were ever to die. And this is what separates us from animals. I can abate my chimp like instinct to bite, and crush his head, because I know that after the moment of fervent primordial violence, I would no longer have my feathered companion, who although at times bothersome does reward me greatly with a sense of togetherness. This is what you must do as well. Be human. Not a beast. If you want to kill, do what I do. Go hunting. Go pesting. Keep the meat or give it to your cat. One shot one kill. If wounded (Should never happen...but accidents...), track and kill. Let nothing suffer.

fuck it by Basil Tootworth - Sat, 29 Jul 2017 22:16:38 EST ID:buDodtmC No.517772 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've been wanting to make a thread here for like over a year but I haven't been able to get myself to post. since i'm in a state of non-sobriety and ecstasy while sobbing to myself inside I figure i should do it now while i cant think straight and just make it about why the fuck i cant even make a thread here. I'm so afraid of being judged that its taken me a year to make a thread on an anonymous website that i go to almost daily asking for help. is there anything i can do to stop myself from running? at this point i am a marathon runner, and could possibly compete in the Olympics of avoidance.
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Doris Trotfuck - Mon, 31 Jul 2017 13:34:48 EST ID:LoDjme4P No.517808 Ignore Report Quick Reply
sounds like you mean psychiatrist. theres no reason not to tell your psychologist about drug use, unless the system is different in US psychologists dont prescribe medicines
Cyril Trotfuck - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 02:03:06 EST ID:buDodtmC No.517861 Ignore Report Quick Reply
yeah, i'm in the us, so it is like that, but im mostly worried about not getting treated the same due to being a drug user. i've pretty much got over my disso addiction now too, so its not vital that i get help for quitting, so idk.

open social activities do seem like something i should try. does it seem like a good idea to try going to an anime club meeting? as i dont really have other hobbies. i could go to a book one but i've only read like one book in the past few years. yeah i definitely need to get out of my comfort zone, but i struggle to think of things outside my comfort zone that would be particularly appealing. but that is probably because the anxiety has worked its way into how i decide what would be appealing and what wouldnt.

yeah ive got some shit i need to get done right now that i dont have enough self control to do.i should probably go do that now.
ive been planning something similar to the trip youre planning, for me its going on a roadtrip to visit a net friend, but it feels like putting effort into planning that would be just avoiding making actual progress on my life in the meantime.
Cyril Trotfuck - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 02:19:17 EST ID:buDodtmC No.517862 Ignore Report Quick Reply
you have no idea how much blood, sweat, and tears i have put in, how many endless nights behind my keyboard i have spent, how i have focused every neuron in my brain on attempting to come up with the stupidest shitpost imaginable. i am still refining it.

ive never actually managed to do any hardcore exposure therapy before. closest ive got is softcore. really soft core. little kittens. i dunno, i should probably start doing more of that type of shit - doing shit thats normal but i'm scared to do it for no reason. ie i was petrified of the idea of using an ATM or paying anything with my debit card because i wasnt sure of my pin. went down to an atm recently and i did know it. but then pretty much everything is that.
Cyril Trotfuck - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 02:28:13 EST ID:buDodtmC No.517863 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i think the problem with exposure is that i have no idea how i would get myself to do it and i feel that if i did it i would be absolutely petrified of doing anything related to what i did the exposure thing on for a long time. ie if i did the bus thing i probably wouldnt be able to ride the bus for a while. i guess thats the point though.
Cyril Trotfuck - Thu, 03 Aug 2017 02:36:21 EST ID:buDodtmC No.517864 Ignore Report Quick Reply
post 3#, realizing i'm making excuses for me not doing more exposure things.nb

General lack of emotions and no emotional attachments by Walter Finnerham - Sat, 29 Jul 2017 08:11:50 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.517755 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Anyone here able to relate to this? Just trying to start a conversation about it and vent a bit because I've really got nobody to talk about it. Seems like anybody that it's actually not sketchy to talk to about it (nobody actually knows what a fuckin psychopath/sociopath is and the label gets thrown around like nothing these days but having the label stick is still carries some risk) just isn't capable of properly relating so I wind up only being able to talk about some of it and then once I realize it's going to be another fruitless endeavor I quit.

So the deal is that other than maybe anger and irritation (and not even those anymore), I really don't feel fuckin anything emotion wise these days. It took a few years but I've finally gotten used to it, and it's not as much of a concern. The bigger "problem" is that I feel absolutely nothing about people around me dying, whether they're close to me or I really only know them by name. Same goes for relationships of any kind ending, being able to feel bad or otherwise sorry for people (like if their family member died or something), or really anything else where you expect yourself to naturally feel something, but it's like I'm drying from a well that's totally bone dry. No matter how long I think about something or try to think about things in a different way about things that should cause me grief or make me pretty upset (even if only for a short time), I feel exactly the same as I would had I never, for example, learned of some person dying.

The only reason this is really any problem at all socially is that giving a fuck about somebody dying is one of the few things I can't fake and just keep the conversation going. The rest is all shit I deal with and can function just fine in social settings and no one would otherwise know anything different about me.
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Doris Pinderhurk - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 16:19:45 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.517832 Ignore Report Quick Reply
That depends, do you have a small penis?

So kind of an update on this. I've thought about it all in great detail before so I didn't really expect to get much from talking things out in terms of realizing something about myself that explains my behavior that I've overlooked, and for the most part I was right, but I did make a connection between something I already knew about myself and didn't previously didn't connect the dots and figure out it's pretty relevant.

So after that first concussion I had intense anxiety in general but mostly social anxiety on top of that ridiculousy oppressive depression and lot's of anger, rage, agitation, irritation, and aggression issues (had really vivid fantasies that were so clear and almost real that at times I was worried I'd snap out of it and actually be in the middle of doing it or starting to do it of violently assaulting and killing people in increasingly gruesome ways... I also would have such a strong desire to attack somebody that I could feel some kind of energy in my arms as if they were a muscle twitch a way from moving on their own, which was also something I was pretty afraid would happen). The way I eventually got over the anxiety issues was to train myself to think out and rationalize why or why not it made sense to feel apprehension and worry over whatever it was I feeling it because of. A majority of what I was doing was telling myself how little sense it made to be worrying about things, and naturally made quite a large effort to not worry about things I had zero possibility of controlling or changing.

Now, 10 or so years later, I typically have more of a problem of being too anxiety free (things I should worry about I don't and need to make an active effort to bug myself mentally about needing to do this or that), and when it comes to things I can't control or even when it comes to other people, don't care to control, I literally couldn't give a shit. Usually this all relates to stress and worry so I didn't immediately link it to my utter lack of an emotional reaction to things that, in general, had no control over or no longer have control over. I'm having a hard time tellin…
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Shitting Tootgold - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 14:58:32 EST ID:kmqEcrpF No.517840 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Is this gif Lain?
Polly Hoblingdick - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 18:45:05 EST ID:GytHs1La No.517842 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Same. I think many are faking it and feel that way too. It's probably like 10% of pop at least who are this way, OP, at least male population. I think it sucks but we were obviously born like this and can do nothing about it without drug aids. I myself drink often. It shows that I do have those emotional capacities, and sobriety reminds me of how completely empty I am at the default state.
Phoebe Shakebury - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 21:33:54 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.517852 Ignore Report Quick Reply
No son, it's third impact
Phoebe Shakebury - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 23:53:41 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.517855 Ignore Report Quick Reply
That's how I got addicted to dissociatives man. Dissociative tolerance lasts forever (not like I was taking long enough breaks that if the tolerance break wasn't any longer than any other drug, I'd still have had a huge tolerance) and I've got a pretty large cross tolerance to basically any I've tried. Strangely enough the dissociative state became one that connected me with all my emotions again, and I could function well enough on them because of my massive tolerance that I let that problem grow really out of hand for a very long time.

Honestly I'd be totally fine if not for the fact that music is just not the same as it is when I'm drunk or working on a decent buzz, and especially compared to listening to it on dissociatives (marijuana too but I haven't smoked any in like 6 years). Simply being able to somewhat casually enjoy music playing as a way to pass time for the rest of my life is not something I'm honestly capable of. If I couldn't get drunk either I really don't know how I'd fucking react.

Rape victim with email and phone number of perpetrator , please help me by Henry Paffingshaw - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 19:27:34 EST ID:lQZk9S9c No.517844 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I'm fucking depressed and near suicidle tbh, I feel impotent and I'm ready for suicide. TL/DR I was raped and had money stolen off by a guy From my card I met off the internet and I still have his email adress and phone number he also stole and took 250 pounds from my account, I don't know what I can do I feel like if i message the police they'll not persecute him and instead persecute me for some reason, I don't know, please help me please I just want to know what I can do against this vile rapist who stolen money and innocence from me, he met with me got me drunk till o couldn't move then raped me as I slept. I'm near fucking suicide via depression please help me 420chan I want some retribution against this rapist please I don't know what to do or anything
Beatrice Pockhall - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 19:53:45 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.517845 Ignore Report Quick Reply
How the hell did he manage to steal money from your account? You gave him your pin?

Anyway, if you have any evidence of his crimes, go to the police. If not, just move on with your life, you'll get over it eventually. It's shitty but there's not a lot you can do without evidence. The rule of law is there to protect us all against false imprisonment, we can't just go around locking people up based on someone's word. Although you may be powerless to retaliate, you're not powerless to prevent yourself from being raped again. For one you can stop getting so drunk that you can't move with people you met off the internet. Pretty much all you need to do is never be in a room alone with a guy you don't trust entirely. Very doable.
Lydia Daddlesock - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 19:55:17 EST ID:nYBDxjTk No.517846 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I hesitate to even answer because I'm overwhelmed just by the thought of what you've been through, and can't imagine I can even make a dent in it over the web. First off, fuck that shit. I hate that someone would do that to anyone, and I'm sorry you're going through this.

Second, If you're immediately after, don't shower, in case you do decide to call the police and they do a rape kit to get evidence against the rapist.

Third, I'm giving you all my sympathy over this board, but if you have anyone in your life that you actually trust and can call for a conversation, please call them and talk to them right now. Surely that's going to be better for you than randos on the internet.
Fucking Bardway - Fri, 04 Aug 2017 13:07:59 EST ID:bwJOb6Ln No.517892 Ignore Report Quick Reply
a doctor (a medical doctor or a head doctor) can help you and talk you through this and support you.

Don't try to do this alone, you have been through hell. Get the support and help you need. I hope you're ok, OP.

Feeling suicidal but in a weird way by Edwin Ginderdon - Sat, 29 Jul 2017 20:26:44 EST ID:G27CoUUV No.517768 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Im thinking about killing myself cause im an ugly and miserable and social phobic dude but first id like to try my luck trying to get rich.
Can someone help me with that?
What should i do? CCs? Reselling drugs from the deep web?
Help a benzo addict out.

Also if this is against the rules im sorry, dont ban me, im legit desesperate at this moment. I see no fun in life in any way and i just dont know what else to do.
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dshit stacey - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 08:25:39 EST ID:TrltacNF No.517823 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Bring back MXE. Re-sell darknet drugs to get some initial $$ then hire a B.Sc to do create a synthesis plan and learn how to do it. You're going to need equipment to do the synth, probably about 400 to 800 dollars worth so get hustling. If you feel like quitting halfway through just send yourself into benzo withdrawals
Augustus Pemmleferk - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 09:04:21 EST ID:6jfGNFOb No.517824 Ignore Report Quick Reply
first spam this across multiple boards. then leave and dont come back.
Martin Brandlecocke - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 23:20:15 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.517834 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Someone bring back MXE please
dshit stacey - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 03:39:47 EST ID:yCtZszH5 No.517836 Ignore Report Quick Reply
shhh, shhh
dshit stacy will right all wrongs, in time
just keep up the good fight OK?
yungchava - Wed, 02 Aug 2017 12:36:50 EST ID:dPHnn+L2 No.517839 Ignore Report Quick Reply
art's cool. i use it to help me with my bipolar, and even if i've not gotten round to selling it yet it's fun

I got out of bed this morning...that was a start by Nell Blucklemadge - Mon, 31 Jul 2017 18:52:18 EST ID:ByXD3yKp No.517816 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I'm dealing with some very poor neurotic type issues. Have had a very poor handle on myself and my actions. I feel absolutely ashamed of what I've done. To be honest I won't get completely into it but I've been out of work this entire year. It all started at my last job. My boss knew I had moved out and desperately needed the job. I'm one of the quiet types that stays out of the workplace cliques and dramas. It usually found its way towards me anyway And if you know anything about workplace harassment or bullying typically it's the one that tries to avoid it that gets the brunt of it. My boss didn't like me because I wasn't afraid to tell him when he was being an asshole. He made sure the other employees made me feel isolated. In that I had no help and no one say much of anything to me. They blindly followed him of course.

My hours started getting cut and as one of the high performers there I went from 42 hours a week to less than 20. I started losing my mind. Knew my rent day was coming up and I spent it on weed because I was going mad and needed something.

I ended up quiting after they hadn't paid me hours I worked in another town. Unemployed and rent day was coming up I had no choice but to return home. I haven't worked a day since then. So I've been home trying to deal with all of this and where it went wrong.

Meanwhile through all of this there was a girl I fell in love with although it never became serious I had pretty ridiculous feelings for her. She ended up coming back into my life recently and I felt like maybe it had been a good idea.

Around the third time we hung out she had asked me if I was seeing someone and she told me she had been, that they were talking about dating. I went home and I cried for three hours straight. I felt like shit. I wanted to die just so I could not feel the pain of losing her yet again.

I did the worst possible thing I could to as to not let her in on the fact that I still had feelings for her after all this time. I lied to her and made her think that I was seeing someone as well. She still thinks I am and I sent her a picture of a girl I met when I went traveling last year. She thinks …
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Rebecca Bunlock - Mon, 31 Jul 2017 21:05:39 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.517817 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Getting a job so you don't become homeless seems like the logical place to start. Always gotta have your priorities straight and do what must be done. Physical shelter and food on your plate come before girl problems. Focus and get it done.

As for the girl problems, you fucked up by lying to her, she told you she was talking to this other dude about potentially dating to see how you felt about it. It didn't mean you didn't have a chance, quite the opposite. But now you've probably pushed her into his arms so just forget about her and move on. If you happen to reconnect sometime later and you're both single, by all means go for it, but give it a rest for now; put her out of your mind. It's easy to get over someone when you don't interact with them. Any continued contact will just make this a permanent wound for you. She's not special, or rather, your capacity to fall in love is not exclusive to one person.
Henry Turveyham - Mon, 31 Jul 2017 21:36:11 EST ID:Umzpjfv8 No.517819 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>It's easier to get over someone when you don't interact with them

Hmm not really in my case. We didn't talk for an entire year almost. I had feelings for her the entire time. She probably knew.because she commented on how much I was smiling when we hung out. She definitely knows.

All of my efforts to meet other girls have mostly ended up the same. So I just give up and never leave this cycle of self perpuated loneliness. I will meet a girl and we exhange numbers but it doesn't go anywhere and they eventually just don't text me back. It happens everytime So I have just given up.
Doris Duckhall - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 09:45:56 EST ID:LoDjme4P No.517827 Ignore Report Quick Reply
get over women, the sooner the better, the sooner you do it the quicker you will get laid.

get over them
Reuben Goodwill - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 10:27:19 EST ID:Oxm4StPA No.517828 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I'm gonna try I started by blocking her number not forever but I made sure she was the last one who sent a text. I'm not responding blocking her number for a few months and see what happens
Nell Gabberworth - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 15:50:43 EST ID:e1ptL1WV No.517830 Ignore Report Quick Reply
you have already started.

The work place stuff can really effect your mind because it kind of shows the opposite at least of what in my town was the dominant people's narrative. Business's that hire bosses that exist in franchises and large chain's of command and in other towns, often are incredibly feudal to this day, and kind of show why we developed unions. Today it's more there is no structure and people play favorites and young people can boss around old people with rumors and many things that can shock an adult mind used to an idea of fairness it had preserved since adolescense.

A similar notion is true with the girl/woman. Being in a position where you hung out with solely this person during a time you were on your own, is a large bonding occasion.

But it reflects to a degree the circumstances you are forging the bond over. In other words that friendship can hurt the part of you that seeks long term relationships, because in a way you forged this bond out of solitary existence. The same kind of ethos in "moving out" "being on your own"

So i would keep the relationship but approach it from that point of view, as touchstone in a life that may have more easily movable roots. Often because of things like the job.

alone? by Edward Sendlewater - Fri, 28 Jul 2017 17:26:49 EST ID:fdd9zJp1 No.517740 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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alone and afraid i'm destined to be alone. i always end up pushing people close to me away.. not intentionally but it just feels as if everyone gets.. tired of me. or something like that. grew up with only a mom and grandma. mom worked always so i spent all my time at grandmas and was basically raised by her. anyways lately she's been losing her motor skills/cognitive abilities so she was put in a home by relatives who never took the time out to tell me where they were putting her. i found her a few months ago and got to see her. she was so strong but this loss of life by age was so rapid. it only took a year for her to go from doing everything independently to not being able to chew without assistance. so i finally got to see her and was crushed. i basically had to say goodbye to her after not seeing her for a few months. so she's still in the home, until she passes on.. and my mom moved away from the city and i have no idea how to contact her or where she lives. i have a girlfriend who i live with but fear im pushing away too. i have depression when i think about my family so it's hard to talk about starting a future with her. i don't even know what i'm saying right now but i feel like if i don't put this Somewhere it will only fester in me more. i feel like if she left me too then i would be truly alone. you die alone and that can't be avoided, but i don't want to live alone. i think at that point is when i'd consider suicide. i hate that word cause it has such a big meaning and social stigma behind it. like everyone who does it has some big mental problem. i'm looking at this objectively, not negatively i feel. if my life is destined for loneliness why bother? also my bestfriend committed suicide this time last year and that's been fucking with me. it's not like i hate this life, i really like it. i just want to be able to enjoy it and not waste time suffering. i wish i knew what all the people who commit suicide thought. what they figured out/what convinced them to do it.
Phineas Givingdale - Fri, 28 Jul 2017 17:43:37 EST ID:S+hUTe0o No.517741 Ignore Report Quick Reply
hey man. ive been battling alot of suicidal thoughts lately. you are not alone. thats what this thing is for.
live for them and theyll live for you.
Reuben Blembledock - Fri, 28 Jul 2017 19:03:20 EST ID:7fC8LtQw No.517742 Ignore Report Quick Reply
> i just want to be able to enjoy it and not waste time suffering

well start by doing things that you enjoy and don't waste time sitting around thinking about the bad stuff

go outside make some friends have some fun if you can't do that then learn how to
Basil Burryfoot - Sat, 29 Jul 2017 04:00:18 EST ID:lpDS9OwD No.517754 Ignore Report Quick Reply
its 4 am. i cant sleep. i awoke to the thougbt
if there were a woman laying here the reason to live would feel like a trap.
i feel so trapped all the time. i dont want to kill myself. shouldnt it be that easy?
why do we hurt so much. why are we so afraid. why?
Hedda Chobbledale - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 03:59:35 EST ID:fdd9zJp1 No.517821 Ignore Report Quick Reply
cause we think. unfortunate but true.
Eliza Dorrycocke - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 06:04:58 EST ID:y0owHYF2 No.517822 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Every reason to live is a trap by definition. What if you stray, does that mean you should die? Just live and treat reason like the cheap whore she is.

Life after suffocation by Lydia Hambleserk - Mon, 31 Jul 2017 15:08:16 EST ID:y6KKmc/w No.517809 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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> I'm 22 and have never been allowed to date, drive a car, have friends over, or get a job.

>Even though I'm an adult, my parents still try to control me as much as possible.

>They actually manage that bc I wasn't allowed to do anything to make friends or become self-sufficient when I was younger and then forced into college.

>I'm about to graduate now and I'm trying to retain my sanity through the last stretch of this bullshit.

>In the last 3 years I've been able to work one bottom-rung job behind their backs, but because of college, I couldn't make enough money for it to matter.

>I feel like I'm some kind of developmentally-stunted anomaly of a person, just one rung of dignity up from Chris Chan.
Molly Clemmlehall - Mon, 31 Jul 2017 18:05:57 EST ID:iKPa+Mgz No.517813 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You care, you've got the desire to be more and to be self sufficient and proud of yourself. You're quite a few rungs up OP. Though internet nutjobs are not a good measuring stick even for total losers. I think you're probably alright and you'll come good if you can go get some real world experience.

You're not stunted because stunted implies you'll never be as big but you're going to have to play catch up. Finish your degree and start working on a plan for getting out once it's done. Not necessarily in that order. Start looking for jobs. If you totally fail you can get a call centre job, I suspect if you apply for the right stuff and do it well you can do more but call centres are a good dead end job to do because while the job itself goes nowhere you can get a lot of skill, experience etc for slightly less shit jobs. I could go on more about that but that's your plan B. You need to define a plan A.

For example if you get a decent grade there's always "Graduate schemes" for people like you. They take on someone who's proven they have some combination of brains and a decent work ethic and train them. It dreally depends what you actually want to do.

I couldn't do a lot of those things either. My poor work ethic and depression were far bigger issues than experiences I didn't have (my parents were not controlling they were just ignorant to the effect they had on me I guess). If you can stay focused and not sell yourself short you'll do fine.
Rebecca Bunlock - Tue, 01 Aug 2017 00:09:55 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.517820 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Just hold out a little while longer until you get the degree and then go job searching somewhere far away from your parents. Once you have real independence you can do all the things your parents wouldn't let you. It's possible to learn all this stuff at any age, it just takes more effort. Good luck, I wish you well.

I'm cursed..... by Martin Claydock - Mon, 31 Jul 2017 15:54:28 EST ID:H1oe3t6E No.517811 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>Always tried but in the same time failed to get friends, the ones that I had are always leaving me
>Don't have close friends in family members
>People hate me
>Did nothing bad, never hurt someone, I was the one who got hurt
>Don't have a job, no matter what I try I always fail
>Never had a girlfriend, girls hate me for some reason
>Nobody is interested to talk with me
>When I'm trying to invite someone to some place, they're always thinking about to what say just to not go with me
>I'm 23 years old
>My life is full of shit
>My problem was that I was always good with people, but in return always got a shit on my head
>No matter how hard I'm trying, I always fail to get what I want
>Everything is boring as shit
>My country is like a hell on Earth, no jobs, no money, nothing interesting
>In every year everything gets worse, no positive things
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Frederick Suggleshit - Mon, 31 Jul 2017 17:27:17 EST ID:C2LZTezo No.517812 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Are you that Brazilian guy who won't stop frog posting? if you are, the answer hasn't changed since the last time you made this thread. Stop being a frog posting autisit, get a dog.
Fuck Sicklewater - Mon, 31 Jul 2017 18:17:25 EST ID:XS6JMhmD No.517815 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Those are some weird looking dogs in your picture, Fred. I should know, I make my own.

lost a friend a week ago by Nicholas Shakestock - Wed, 26 Jul 2017 09:21:50 EST ID:SPpwuYvJ No.517671 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Lost a horrible friend today but I cannot help but feel hurt

>she constantly asked me for small sums of money randomly. Usually 5 bucks
>always asked me to take her to doctor's appointments a couple of times
> Got pissed off when she didn't get her way many a time.
>she generally was ]loathed in town because she did a cam show once
>she moved in with a chinese restaurant owner and provided him with sexual favors in exchange for services.
>Started doing heroin last year
>she became homeless for 3 after escaping rehab and got hep C from some 45 year old dude
>she came home after she was being harassed by him after she beat his ass
>she was ecstatic that he died
>everything was fine for awhile
>about a week ago she cut me off
>she exploded at me 5 months after the fact for telling her parents that she was homeless
and said that we were too different and we should part ways
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Hamilton Blallerworth - Thu, 27 Jul 2017 23:03:22 EST ID:XS6JMhmD No.517723 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>all these pictures of entirely different chicks

Op I can't even give you points for effort rethink your life nigga
Doris Sebberbeck - Thu, 27 Jul 2017 23:29:37 EST ID:SPpwuYvJ No.517724 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Nope that's all the same person
Cornelius Pibblestock - Fri, 28 Jul 2017 09:18:21 EST ID:vfShsVuP No.517728 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I dated a girl just like you described OP. Woman like that are very toxic and after we finish dating we were still friends but she would constantly flake on me when she made plans. Will call me whenever she need some thing from me like, let me barrow your netflix, your amazon prime account, I cant pay my internet can you let me barrow 20 dollars.

Sex with her was alright, but nothing great and after a while I just stopped messaging her, and she kept on doing so almost every week until I told her "Hey, you know maybe this friend thing is not working". Didn't block her or anything, but she did and said I was mean, blah, blah. Quite frankly OP you dont need people like that in your life, they are emotionally draining and are way too self absorb and explosive.
Graham Bunman - Sat, 29 Jul 2017 22:00:54 EST ID:LoDjme4P No.517771 Ignore Report Quick Reply
lol fuck that piece of shit borderline slut off
James Bunman - Sun, 30 Jul 2017 20:56:52 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.517802 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If you meant to say "tell that piece of shit borderline slut to fuck off" I agree. This girls is borderline to the max and they are always bad news. They should seriously teach guys about BPD girls in sex ed so you know how to spot them and avoid them.

why? i know. i just. fuck. by jimmy hendrix - Fri, 28 Jul 2017 10:23:58 EST ID:3knwzPbK No.517732 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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my wife is acting like a psycho. & she wont admit it. i cannot take it anymore. a whole week or just being ripped on by someone who cheated on me a year ago. why? why am i fighting through this? i love her, but my son cannot be raised by the women she is becoming. she compared a one night stand i had 6 years ago before we were going steady to her sleeping with someone while i was visting my dying grandpa in California. i know you are not supposed to ever hit a girl (at least thats what my mom taught me) but what. the. fuck? what do i do? we own a business together, we work all day together, & now i feel sick with rage even looking at her. i used to be the horneist human you have ever met, now at 28 i feel like my dick is never going to get hard again. i am literally becoming physically ill. i dont want to divorce this girl for one screw up that i know she has done everything to fix, but its like deep down, she will not admit to herself that what she did was wrong, & it is killing our family.
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Betsy Blovingnudging - Sat, 29 Jul 2017 12:06:23 EST ID:9ByaMX5X No.517757 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Have you tried hitting her?
Basil Tootworth - Sun, 30 Jul 2017 00:50:14 EST ID:buDodtmC No.517780 Ignore Report Quick Reply
perhaps she feels like if she admits to herself that it was wrong, her entire life will come crashing down because of how wrong it was, so it must be okay.
Barnaby Gushcocke - Sun, 30 Jul 2017 07:06:34 EST ID:bwJOb6Ln No.517789 Ignore Report Quick Reply
couples therapy or you will get divorced.

I can promise you this with 95% certainty. There is no way your marriage will survive this period without help.

If you can't afford therapy read some Gottman books, he's great. Some of his books deal with how to get over infidelity or other massive betrayals, he has so many books he might even have one that specifically deals with this.

How is he different from Dr. Phil and 1000 other bullshit merchants? He has a "love lab" and a masters in mathematics and he approaches everything really empirically. To the point where he admits when earlier hypothesis are disproved by further research. If you like maths then "Principia Amoris" is the one you should start with.

>the fact that you are willing to even consider not divorcing your WIFE after she fucked another man is beyond my capability to comprehend buddy. you are in a grave right now and dirt is being piled on. better climb out, unless you are ready to be a corpse

They have a kid together. You are a kid yourself if you cannot understand this. Please never get married if you do not understand this. You don't just jump ship when you are married and have a kid, it means something.
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Alice Baddlehet - Sun, 30 Jul 2017 10:36:59 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.517793 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I also think couples therapy might be a good idea because she needs someone who is objective to call her on her shit and admit that she was wrong. She can keep denying it for the sake of her self esteem if she can just keep projecting her own faults onto you but hopefully a third party would tell her to cut that shit out. It's kind of a risk though because you never know if you're just going to get one of the therapists who tells the woman she's right about everything and it's always the man's fault. She may just end up validating whatever rationalizations your wife has for why she did this, but who knows, maybe it's worth a shot.
Alice Babblefuck - Sun, 30 Jul 2017 17:57:48 EST ID:C2LZTezo No.517798 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Ive never been to couples therapy, but id be pretty ass blasted if thats how it actually happens. I thought it would like therapy, not paying a third party to telll your spouce they are insane.

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