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Being hard to look at by Matilda Cimmledidge - Tue, 11 Apr 2017 17:38:06 EST ID:HXgn8b9h No.515386 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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What would you do if you had an ugly face? Like, ugly in a subtle, inexplicable way way to where people dont like to make eye contact with you? Like theres just something about the way your face is? And you also had a smile that made you look like a rapist? Would you learn to avoid smiling? Would years of not smiling because of this issue give you an emotionless, even more creepy? Do you think that a lifetime of avoiding smiling and having people unable to look you in the eyes for more than a few seconds could have any other developmental/psychological repercussions?
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Fanny Blenderway - Fri, 14 Apr 2017 20:39:01 EST ID:qgSlhkvl No.515472 Ignore Report Quick Reply
wait.. your name wouldnt happen to be sky would it? because..
Anyway.. I find so to speak "battle scars" attractive, especially if you have a strong look. Wear it with pride and just kick ass and stuff. I would probably like you
Fanny Blenderway - Fri, 14 Apr 2017 21:00:50 EST ID:qgSlhkvl No.515473 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I need to work on this.
I have got to be like 1/2% of the entire world for my ways and I practically ooze charisma. I can befriend anyone anywhere at all, but once they get to know me they usually start saying stuff like "wow youre smart" which later turns into short answers of agreeance because they dont get what im talking about and have nothing to add.
I am an anarchist, buddhist, physically fit, artist as others might describe me.
I just be myself though and my biggest two goals in life are to A) Be as free as possible B) Grow and become as virtuous as possible.
I am very used to solitude as a result because so many people live their lives in a standstill working for things that dont really exist or make them happy and I just want to enjoy my time here without being chained to stuff
Clara Sammlewutch - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 18:31:31 EST ID:HXgn8b9h No.515547 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I feel you. Ive been fired from both my jobs and i just started my own little business doing peoples lawns, but because im so ugly/creepy, most people stand on their porch watching me work. Ive been told its because i look like "the kind of person that would peek in their bathroom window" or steal their gnomes or some shit. Makes it hard to work with people eyeballing me like their defending their family from some nefarious tweaker. And when youre trying to work and some asswipe is staring at you every time you turn around, it makes it hard to do a good job. Not to mention the ones that whisper to eachother while looking at me and laughing. Ive never had a girlfreind, never had any freinds that could stand me for more than a month, and have about 20 contacts in my phone, the only ones being used are mom/dad when they need a favor. I swear being ugly is a hell i wouldnt wish on my worst enemies.

People are strange when youre a stranger. Women seem wicked when youre unwanted.
Ian Bleddlespear - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 23:47:08 EST ID:hEMwIYhY No.515557 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Just imagine working retail for a living. And getting cussed daily and reported to management every week by fat angry white trash rednecks.
Cedric Sezzlelark - Tue, 18 Apr 2017 22:05:45 EST ID:HXgn8b9h No.515578 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Implying i dont get cursed at and reported by fat rednecks
Its funny because the guy called the number on my truck, which is mine, and i got to lead him on for a good minute telling him how to file a complaint and stuff before telling him id look into it personally. Im thinking about downloading shitty music so i can put them on hold next time

best way to make someones life a living hell by Priscilla Crabberstock - Sat, 15 Apr 2017 14:51:30 EST ID:ZtBAcACE No.515489 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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My buddy got scammed out of $1000. It's a long story but basically the guy who scammed him is a druggie fuck and a complete waste of human life.

Here's the info we have on him

>Past addresses
>Phone number
>Ex wife's name/number (also hates him)
>Family members facebook

We've accepted he's not getting the money back. So what's the best way, with this information, to make his life a living hell? Nothing is off the table.

inb4 any moral shit/don't do it/whatever

Any advice you have would be awesome.
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Frederick Heblingbane - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 19:34:01 EST ID:FwheuJ8x No.515551 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>best way to make someones life a living hell

Give birth.
Esther Blackdale - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 19:49:58 EST ID:qgSlhkvl No.515553 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Ebenezer Trotfuck - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 23:44:03 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.515556 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Well, I guess I'm just drawing links between his guy and mine.

If you rip off a dude for a grand, I mean, that's quite a bit of damage you're doing to an average person. You have to do some big mental gymnastics to come away from that and think you're a normal person. I guess there's no reason to assume this bottom feeder is violent, but you gotta know what you're getting yourself into whenever you straight up con someone like that.

Unless OP's 'friend' is such an easy mark that he didn't fear any sort of retribution. I guess I don't know any thieving addicts, cept for one, but he never came trying to rip me off.

Well, I guess I was just projecting. But when you meet a predator, it's hard to see past the shell it puts forward.
Ian Bleddlespear - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 23:54:19 EST ID:hEMwIYhY No.515558 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Don't start shit with people that have nothing to lose. Some dude that is trapped forever in banging heroin until he dies of sepsis isn't going to care about dying 6 months sooner than he already likely would have. I doubt he is some "sociopath;" more like a product of his environment.

I've met plenty of people who have literally nothing in life and basically just lack the balls to shoot themselves. You don't want to be surrounded by them unless you are on their level. Mostly because you can't really touch them or affect them. Throw in crippling addictions and you make the situation 100x worse and you get the stereotypical addict that will cut your balls off for a line of coke.

Not much more dangerous than a man seeking a way out at every chance.
Isabella Pittshit - Tue, 18 Apr 2017 14:13:28 EST ID:tldOIKN9 No.515570 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Beat him up? Violence is a great relief.

Coma by Archie Demmerfen - Sun, 16 Apr 2017 00:08:07 EST ID:sK/cqzqY No.515501 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I think I slipped into a coma years ago when doing drugs and every once in a while I hear voices telling me I have to kill myself in order to wake up.
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Nigel Shittingwill - Sun, 16 Apr 2017 02:41:56 EST ID:75sBUhBz No.515504 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Dude that's really scary..
Fanny Greenridge - Sun, 16 Apr 2017 07:35:35 EST ID:Olo57w3f No.515508 Ignore Report Quick Reply
is this your attempt at trolling? you did not even put in any effort.

Wesley Higgletidging - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 13:41:41 EST ID:ivgDi1vU No.515543 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i am real so you can't be in a coma. I am so sure I'm real. If you are in a coma you won't be able to read and write, write an essay or something, then read it back, and you'll know you aren't in a coma.
Nigel Sisslefot - Tue, 18 Apr 2017 01:09:15 EST ID:TbiG7EZV No.515560 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I get this idea in my mind from time to time.
I've had several near death experiences.
Matilda Bupperstat - Tue, 18 Apr 2017 07:48:20 EST ID:35+jbzpY No.515564 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You're actually a part of my personal coma. Sentient beings such as yourself have been mustered up through my subconscious and given life by my imagination.

kinda want to kill myself and kinda not by Phineas Pillerpere - Sun, 26 Mar 2017 07:38:08 EST ID:omX2BDyl No.514802 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I have wanted to kill myself for many years now. I'm a lazy coward so it's unlikely that I'll ever do it but I can't stop wanting it.

Mostly I want to kill myself because I can't think of a better option.
I know approximately how my life will turn out because I have found out my capabilities.
There are many things I don't really know about my future but there's like a set of different things where it's almost entirely certain that it will be something like that.

My life is kinda half decent now and I can get by but it will just get worse and my life isn't good enough to keep for several decades more, I'll just be more and more miserable.

Now I'm 25 and work a very simple job (part time) and live with my mom. 0 friends or girls or anything.
I can get by fine with my low salary as long as I keep living here but I really don't want to stay here for too long.
I won't be able to move out for at least a few more years because of the housing situation here and once I moved out I would be poor becuase of the higher costs.
I also won't be able to get a better job, I might be able to find something with 40 hours per week instead of 30 but it will still be the simplest shit possible. I might go crazy after many years of being stuck in a dead end like that.
My current job doesn't provide valuable experience and will never lead to anything new.

I'm pretty sure I will never have a friend and unless I can move to another country I will also never have any romantic love.
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Clara Fidgewock - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 11:23:33 EST ID:9nXTcGAJ No.515539 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You've already been given a lot of excellent suggestions in this thread.

You can change yourself. It's just going to be the hardest thing you've ever done.
Barnaby Dartson - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 12:01:37 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.515541 Ignore Report Quick Reply
He isn't OP, not that you're wrong.

Plenty of advice for OP you can follow in the thread. Ignoring that, I don't have to provide you with a solution for your life's problems to be right about everything I said. You're being a crybaby cunt who'd rather dwell on all the ways he's a victim and how impossible it is to fix his situation than actually attempt fixing things.
Esther Blackdale - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 19:53:23 EST ID:qgSlhkvl No.515555 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Fuck you, I am handling it in a calm and forward direction. I only broke it down so OP dont feel like he is the worst off here.
I will gladly enjoy every moment of my days under the sun without a single ounce of regard to what the conditions are
Ebenezer Carrystone - Tue, 18 Apr 2017 01:08:28 EST ID:5XOScZZe No.515559 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Plenty of advice for OP

Getting the genes tested and getting appropriate supplements and going to trade school are the two ones i find.
To me it seems unlikely that the gene stuff would produce significant results but I guess it might be good.
Trade school would mean better jobs and more money but everything else would still be the same such as the social situation.
There's a lot of text but not a lot of advice (if don't count the stuff that can't be done or where the reasoning behind the advice is just wrong).
Ebenezer Carrystone - Tue, 18 Apr 2017 03:02:00 EST ID:5XOScZZe No.515561 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What your saying sounds like it can be correct but I've spent a lot of time and effort trying to meet people. During all this my social skills got a lot better but I've still never been able to make connections other than just having acquaintances.

I got rear-ended for the second time this week by Oliver Greenshaw - Fri, 14 Apr 2017 21:25:19 EST ID:U16Ylai0 No.515474 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Both times COMPLETELY STOPPED on a two-lane road with my blinker on, waiting to make a left onto another road. One of the roads I was about to turn on (today's accident) was my own street, and this man plows into me. What the fuck? I was driving two separate cars too, so now I have one totaled car and probably another, since the one today is 19 years old. I just need to vent, I feel so alone. Honestly I'm really anxious that it's going to keep happening while I drive, and every time that I stop I'm going to see someone crash into me in my rearview. Been driving 5 years and fucking nothing until this week. Hell of a week. Anyone experience anything similar? Advice for getting over it?
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Oliver Greenshaw - Fri, 14 Apr 2017 21:56:10 EST ID:U16Ylai0 No.515476 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Thanks will be sure to ride a bike 20 miles to work each day on the highway. I'm sorry someone hurt you
Fanny Blenderway - Fri, 14 Apr 2017 23:35:23 EST ID:qgSlhkvl No.515479 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Get a closer job you gas wasting asshole
Sidney Sengerbatch - Sun, 16 Apr 2017 09:20:37 EST ID:2cRqUGEL No.515511 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I had a job where I literally drove on the road every day. Literally the day I put in my notice I had some guy go into the back of me while I was exiting the car park at work. He then put in a claim against me saying I reversed into him.

At least on the road there's almost a guarantee that the other party will be found at fault (and btw put in a claim as soon as possible if you haven't done it already man), but yeah it fucking sucks. It's been a few months and I'm still chasing insurances up, with my manager trying to scam £400 off me for "excess", which was 100% bullshit as I talked to the area manager afterwards and he said he doesn't know what the fuck my manager is talking about. My manager never even put in the claim himself, when it happened literally in the carpark at work, I told him literally as soon as it happened, and he was just too fucking lazy and useless to sort it out. (my manager puts in the claim because while working I'm covered under their insurance policy, not my own).

I got a claim through my personal insurance company to begin with too, so they know about the accident now that's not even anything to do with them, and even that insurance company wouldn't pass on the new information until the 4th or 5th fucking try.

It sucks, but no accidents for 5 years is something to be proud of. not many people go through driving without some stupid knock or scrape. It was the other parties fault both times, so the rise in insurance should be minimal to none, you were stopped and rear-ended so you probably won't have to go through a lengthy process trying to explain why you weren't at fault, and it's a clear-cut accident.
It sucks, but it should only take a couple of weeks to sort out hopefully, as long as you got the other parties insurance details and number plate.
Just breathe, take things one step at a time, and speak to a claims rep that actually knows what the fuck they're doing so you can ask questions and they can help you through the process a bit easier. Make sure you take notes so you know what to ask for if you have to phone up again for an update. You'll be fine, and just remember that almost every sin…
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Samuel Buzzcocke - Sun, 16 Apr 2017 15:20:27 EST ID:omX2BDyl No.515515 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Far from everyone can live in the middle of a city and get a job wherever they want so they can pick one close to home.
Clara Drosslefield - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 19:19:07 EST ID:ZBbNyWa4 No.515549 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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If its really not your fault you should be fine, not right away cuz you are still shocked which is normal.
Just try to realize with time that it was just a random turn of events that happens to be in a small period of time.
It doesn't mean its gonna happen ever again but it might happen in a week again lol, stranger things have happened but... you'll be fine.

Therapy by Polly Domblestone - Sat, 15 Apr 2017 22:01:45 EST ID:ZiUqoAvG No.515499 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Has anyone tried therapy? I've been seriously considering it lately. I just want someone to talk to and someone adding perspective just seems helpful.
My whole life is and has always been a serious of bad choices and self destructive behavior though. I don't have a declared income or very much money but I saw a few listings for some therapists with 50-100 dollar fees near me that I could definitely afford a few times a month. I spend more than that on drugs and alcohol ffs. Just not sure how I'd explain it, specially considering that the entire point is that I want to be completely open and honest with someone for the first time in my life.

Also the desire to do it comes in waves and later my self sabotaging mentality kicks in and I justify not doing it.

Anyone done it? What was it like and how did it impact your life?

I did get forced to see a psychologist when I was like 12 or 13 and she just asked me questions for like 30 minutes that I answered in brief few word answers because I was an angsty bitter kid and I actually liked it though. Afterwards I felt great and was outside waiting as she talked to my mom alone. My mom came out angry as shit at me, saying the therapist said she couldn't help me if I didn't open up.
That certainly left a bad impression that's contributed to my reluctance.
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Angus Sennerdale - Sun, 16 Apr 2017 20:25:20 EST ID:wcR9wfzO No.515529 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You were only around 13 at the time; you were too young to know anything about yourself that you could seriously talk about, especially if it was solely your mother who thought that you had "problems".

A lot of parents use psychiatry and therapy to manipulate their children and put all the blame on them. It is called being the "designated patient" of the family. If either one or both of the parents is abusive, then it will fuck up the kid for life, and ironically they will have to go to therapy in their adulthood to talk about all the trauma they had to deal with from that. This happened to me from 16 to 26, and I still haven't fully recovered.

Be wary of psychiatrists in larger cities who are "popular", especially surrounding a particular diagnosis. They will dope you up and think nothing of it. It can permanently damage your brain and/or body. Some will practically fall asleep during the session, or they will say one thing during one session and then the exact opposite in the next. Despite what many will tell you, the popular ones who have many patients tend to be idiots who don't have the time or the interest to invest in their patients in depth and usually follow trends. This is particularly true with ADHD and autism, although this may have passed over time.
Isabella Bocklebick - Sun, 16 Apr 2017 21:36:11 EST ID:U0vRG2V5 No.515530 Ignore Report Quick Reply
We've had similar childhoods. For me it was about ages 8 to 18, at which point as an adult I refused to put up with mind games and moved out. I'm still very fucked up from it.

>Be wary of psychiatrists in larger cities who are "popular", especially surrounding a particular diagnosis.

This is a good thing to point out. The worst are the ones who write books about their specialty diagnoses, claiming to provide lots of insight to parents, but really these are just thinly veiled advertisements, offering affirmation to parents who don't want anything to do with the therapy process, and neither does the doctor. Parents flock to these doctors, and these doctors make nice livings handing out the same diagnosis over and over.

I'd also always be wary of any *psychiatrist* who offers talk therapy. Psychiatrists are medical doctors, they prescribe medicine but they are not required to have any background in psychotherapy to obtain their license. The division between psychiatry and psychotherapy is not coincidental or arbitrary. These are two separate fields, two separate approaches, and they treat different things. Psychotherapy isn't going to effectively treat repetitive behaviors of OCD, for example, but SSRIs and certain second generation antipsychotics have proven very effective. On the other hand, something like PTSD has a variety of associated symptoms which can be managed with medication, but the painful thoughts persist, because the trauma is a cognitive construct without a simple enough neurochemical basis to target with a drug, but psychotherapy seeks to manipulate this construct into something you can reason with, and eventually live with or move past.

Anyway, child and adolescent psychotherapy, and family therapy, is all a crock of shit OP. Don't let it color your perceptions of adult psychotherapy, because it's a whole different world where you can be heard, where you can advocate for yourself.
Lydia Brookfoot - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 00:00:01 EST ID:zPu+Cn1i No.515532 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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It's a good sign you're asking. I can relate to the self-sabotage in a way, but I think something as simple as posting a thread on /qq/ is a good start. Hopefully I can contribute to the valuable experiences shared.

To address some of those points, the cost of medications is far more financially efficient than hours of therapy, and public healthcare systems seem to favour it. Their effectiveness is (very) debatable and I think what >>515529 wrote nails the point; it can be good for immediate symptoms like a psychotic episode/panic attack, but useless or even a detriment to actual progress. I also don't doubt the strong influence of business models driving for profits, over progress.

The two schools/methods of mental health are often called 'bio-medical' and 'recovery'. The first is self-explanatory, and comes from a symptom-based approach with an emphasis on medications. The 'recovery' can be thought of as a personalized and individual approach, which is centered around working with your views, strengths and support systems to create an approach to your problems. It comes down to personal rapport, frequent updates, and other things that cost more time/resources than pharmaceuticals. Having worked with children for three years who experience major psychotic episodes, I regretfully admit that there aren't enough resources to ensure the best approaches are available. I don't know your specific problem/s but I would doubt any bio-medical interventions are necessary.

As for therapy, everyone could probably use one at some point in their life. Some stats indicate that 1/5 of us will suffer mental illness (largely depression) and the biggest problem for people who provide service is the stigma. I hope your doubts about seeking help disappear soon; the therapy I sought continues to help me today. I can say the best features of (her) practice was that she comes from a mindfulness and CBT background, and was an active listener. She directed me back to myself, and I now know to work on my self-deprecation/self-sabotage. Life's constant state of change is something of a double-edged sword. Just like how we physically navigate this world, we have…
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Archie Baddleville - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 17:47:04 EST ID:JJzRfxeF No.515546 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Wow I didn't expect this many thoughtful and helpful replies. Thank you guys. I'm going to start seriously looking for a therapist that I feel can assist me.
Talking to even a bad therapist is probably better than continuing talking to no one and just self-medicating with booze and drugs I suppose.
Walter Braddletat - Tue, 18 Apr 2017 22:58:14 EST ID:zPu+Cn1i No.515581 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Great to hear dude. I guess a bad therapist might offer some insight compared to the other method, but I really hope you remain vigilant and find what works for you. nb.

Not suicidal, but I think about a world without he a lot by Lydia Bremmerwater - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 04:47:18 EST ID:R/4Hqmxs No.515536 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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When I was little the kids were mean to me at school.
I moved and a teacher made fun of me in class my first year in my new school.
That bullshit followed me into adulthood. I have almost no friends from elementary-high school, aside from a few assholes who friended me on facebook just because we used to live together.

Anyway, with a lack of basic social skills, adulthood is a bag of dicks and the only reason I don't kill myself is that my brother has depression and I'll eventually need to financially support him.
Wesley Higgletidging - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 13:39:38 EST ID:ivgDi1vU No.515542 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You think maybe you might have depression too? You know paxil is great for sadness AND social anxiety in most people.

accepting responsibility by Samuel Fummlechig - Tue, 11 Apr 2017 02:17:01 EST ID:2cg9wqsf No.515365 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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tl;dr: My mother who is an alcoholic that has outright refused to get help for years now is dying and wants me to be a part of her life, but I don't want to be a part of her life. wat do?

I spoke to my mother tonight for the first time in years. She's a bad alcoholic and told me she has cirrhosis of the liver, and not long after attempted to blame myself and my siblings for her alcoholism. Claiming that her children had "thrown her to the side", implying that's the reason she drinks the way she does.

But that's bullshit. We've tried to get her help for years now. We've put her into rehabs and mental health facilities more times than I can count and it's never worked. I think it only goes to show that a person can only change when they're willing to. She's clearly not willing to and she never has been.

My siblings and I have put up with this for years. She's always wasted, talking complete nonsense, threatening to kill herself, etc. I mean, the woman is batshit insane, even before the alcohol came into the picture, and this stuff I'm talking about is honestly only scratching the surface. It's just a big fucking pile of stress and worry for everyone involved. Eventually I had to give her an ultimatum. Either she gets help and cleans her act up or I'm not going to have anything to do with her. It's far too stressful to deal with her and my attempts at helping her have only cost time and money, and after repeated attempts it still hasn't worked. In her current state (and the state she's been in for at least 15 years now) I'm a much happier person without her in my life, period.

Immediately after giving her the ultimatum, she says "well I'm not gonna stop drinking." That was the last straw for me. I just couldn't fucking do it anymore so I cut contact with her completely, until tonight.

She sent a message to one of my siblings and tells them I need to call her because she's going to the hospital. My wife was urging me to call, saying I'd regret it if I didn't, and to some extent I thought she may have been right, so against my better judgment I called. That's where the beginning of this pos…
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Albert Pollerstone - Sun, 16 Apr 2017 16:22:10 EST ID:CUxKd5AA No.515517 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I know it sucks and it hurts a lot man, but honestly you can't waste the time you've got on this earth worrying about someone that doesn't want to help themselves.
Caroline Cuttingpuck - Sun, 16 Apr 2017 16:33:36 EST ID:tldOIKN9 No.515518 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Tell this to your mother and not us. What advice could a person with a functional mother give?
If you're happier without her and she won't change then that's that. Another harsh reality of your life, I suppose.
Hugh Sengertat - Sun, 16 Apr 2017 19:38:25 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.515523 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Normally I'm the type that would tell you to give in and be there for her but it seems like a waste of time in this situation. Her dying doesn't really change anything, despite maybe seeming like it should. It's not like your mother and you merely had a few differences that you ought to be able to overcome in her time of dying, this is very different than that kind of situation.

Maybe you shouldn't ignore her entirely, but there's no sense in placating her or going very much out of your way to visit or comfort her more than is absolutely necessary. I'd make it clear that you're sorry she's dying in a sort of person-to-person sort of respect for her life, but otherwise you aren't really upset over it and don't feel pity for her predicament. Be as cold and aloof as you need to so that you aren't involved enough to cause inordinate amounts of stress... although it's fair to keep in mind that a parent dying is normally a stressful ordeal for most people. Even if it's just having to deal with setting up a funeral and having to take care of them or make arrangements for their care in their last days. It's going to be impossible to avoid stress altogether in a situation like this.
Angus Sennerdale - Sun, 16 Apr 2017 20:13:18 EST ID:wcR9wfzO No.515528 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Don't feel bad about it. I'd advise that you don't contact her again. You've tried to help her many times and she never took up. She just continued to slander you and use you. Many people here say that you'll wonder how it will be when you were never by her side; I'm here to tell you that if you stay by her side, you'll always wonder if you hadn't.

My father haunts me to this day. All my life I've supported him unwillingly. I came back years ago to be close to my mother who had cancer (she died); I do not blame my mother for anything and I do not regret being with her at her death, but my father never left, either. Despite promising on her death bed that he would never remarry, he did just that. He replaced her not even two years later, and destroyed the family. All of my mother's stuff given away to his new wife, or gone. Almost nothing remains besides her memory. I'd like to walk away, but even my sister (who disowned my father) tells me not to. My brother is a coward who can't accept reality, and sees my father as being normal when he never was, and never will be. It is very disheartening to see the ones closest to you behave like this, but the good news is that you don't have to have any of that crap in your life.

Just walk away. Leave it to your other siblings if they care enough. I used to think that mothers were entitled to love from their children, but that is only true if they were loving themselves. If she'd leave you by the wayside, you should do the same. Have some respect for yourself. I didn't, and now look at me.
Fucking Noggledad - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 04:22:51 EST ID:2cg9wqsf No.515535 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP here
>Tell this to your mother and not us. What advice could a person with a functional mother give?
It doesn't have to be a mother. I think anyone that's had to deal with anyone harboring serious addiction in their life could offer at least something here. Just looking for perspective on it all, I guess. But this was also a means to vent. I needed to get this off of my chest to someone that's not so closely related to the situation, I think. It's easy for views to become a little warped when you've been this close to the situation for so long.

I appreciate all of your responses. I think everyone has offered valid advice about it all. It's certainly given me a lot to think about, and to some extent it does make me feel a bit better to know that, in a way, I'm not exactly alone in wanting to give up on her. But overall I understand that this is a situation that I'll have to give some serious consideration to, and that it's not up to anyone else.

Anyway, thanks guys <3

The Reviving Dead by Something Forgotten - Sat, 15 Apr 2017 02:37:15 EST ID:bXKnmY5K No.515480 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've been stricken with a crippling neurological and physical disease for the last nine years which has progressively gotten worse. I have been deemed a safety hazard in the job market which ruined most of my chances for employment because I can injure myself or someone else unintentionally. Because of this, my nutrition slipped, and with it my body because I'd refused to take handouts. Even when I was homeless, even when I was considered disabled and eligible for welfare, I didn't take it. I'm still homeless to some degree and I haven't seen a friend for over three years and I gave up the love of my life.

However, I can no longer sustain myself, and my brain has slipped beyond repair. The only thing I can do is salvage it. In the beginning of February, I signed up for welfare, and today my case received a decision. If I don't get the mail tomorrow, I'll find out next week if I've been approved.

Most people would splurge with the money I'll be getting; however, I'll be getting a cerebral collotomy and isolating myself for even longer than I thought I would. I'll be stuck high in the mountains learning how to control each side of my body and brain individually.

But... I am almost giving up here. My mother died and my dad didn't want to help me. He pushed me aside and put money towards my sister's education because he thinks what prospects my life has to be forfeit. I haven't killed myself because he's still alive. I want to soar above my limitations and shit on his life.

But sometimes the line gets blurred after the amount of years I've been alone and I want to forget it all. Malice is what keeps me going and I gave it up before because its unhealthy. Nothing good came of it because I couldn't of found purpose to put in my dreams. I wanted to start a myriad of businesses with my family.

At the end of it all, this is the first time I talked about it. I've left it out of conversations with my friends because I might have felt better if what I thought was true. Which was putting it in a jar and saving it for another day. But maybe im just excited or anxious for the potential change coming my way.

The stem of it all? MERRF. I thought I had regular epilepsy. Turns out it was Ragged Red Fibers and nobody ever told me. I wonder if it was on purpose.

And I grow hateful every passing day.
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Something Forgotten - Sat, 15 Apr 2017 02:53:08 EST ID:bXKnmY5K No.515481 Ignore Report Quick Reply
He couldn't believe how easy it was. He put the gun into his face. Bang. So much blood from such a tiny little hole. But problems still have solutions. A lifetime of fucking things up fixed in one determined flash. Everything's blue in this world. The deepest shade of mushroom blue. All fuzzy spilling out of my head.
Hugh Sengertat - Sun, 16 Apr 2017 19:54:02 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.515526 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>I signed up for welfare
Why aren't you receiving disability?
Angus Sennerdale - Sun, 16 Apr 2017 20:00:03 EST ID:wcR9wfzO No.515527 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Since the disease is passed maternally, why would your father put all of his money into your sister? She might have kids with the condition, or she may have it herself. Did your mother have this condition?

list the shit things happened this week by Hannah Habbleshaw - Thu, 13 Apr 2017 11:04:03 EST ID:2VJDAiVv No.515420 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Ill start
Get robbed
Get crashed into by some idiot
Get a letter today for massive court fine ?? They sent previous letters to wrong address.
Get other letter saying my rent is going up

I cant seem to catch a break.
Have bad week? Make a list
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Molly Feddlebone - Sat, 15 Apr 2017 13:42:36 EST ID:wwCii2fz No.515487 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP here

something else got stolen out on the street whilst I was distracted dealing with some drunk fuckhead last night. I can only take so much bad luck in one week. I am officially depressed now.
Molly Purringford - Sat, 15 Apr 2017 20:06:19 EST ID:F26t8B89 No.515495 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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My dad got some test results today, his Dopamine production is at 40% and lowering at alarming rates.
Reuben Billingfoot - Sat, 15 Apr 2017 20:14:30 EST ID:h1AuFryA No.515496 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What does this mean for his mental health? Does he use any drugs?
Molly Purringford - Sat, 15 Apr 2017 20:41:33 EST ID:F26t8B89 No.515497 Ignore Report Quick Reply

It means he feels like dying every fucking day because of psychosomatic pains and the feel that he can't do much about it gets him depressed to no end.

He takes Clonazepam and Zolpidem so he can sleep (and it isn't that helpful, he just can't rest)

He can't use weed because he's very prone to anxiety attacks because of it and med-oil is pretty fucking expensive and doesn't help him much.

His wits are scalpel sharp as always but when you can't button up your shirt or piss straight or when you piss yourself because your brain gets in cahoots with your nervous system and they just feel like making you dance like a fucking circus bear I'd say your mental health is on the rocks.

Not fair man, not fucking fair. he worked for forty years straight in the mining industry, never called in sick and he wasn't called out for shit either because he's a fucking maverick with anything related to engineering. They chewed him up and gave him peanuts for retirement.
Barnaby Dellerforth - Mon, 17 Apr 2017 14:13:37 EST ID:nOFtdjrU No.515544 Ignore Report Quick Reply
More depression and paranoia. I'll be glad once classes end in May, but I'm still stuck trying to live with myself knowing that I'm incurably inferior and there's no point trying to go on. Like I really don't want to kill myself, I want to improve but the more I try to do so the more I can see how futile it is.

I don't really even want to put this here, but I want it off my chest somehow and I don't have anyone else to talk to. nb.

50mg zaleplon mundanestential crisis fuck you fuck me by mexxed !cDJp28xb8w!!CLeaAsfK - Wed, 12 Apr 2017 13:24:41 EST ID:U0vRG2V5 No.515399 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I hate you. All of you. And everything this site represents. Not in general, but to me personally. Don't take it personally. This isn't about you, it's about me and it's about me hating you while hating myself on 50mg zaleplon after being clean for like 2+ years impulsively taking it because my fiancee had another fucking autistic meltdown tantrum whatever you wanna call it. And is now in the psych ward.

Just hear me out, I'm 50mg of zaplon (Sonata), listening to Ecstasphere, and I have no idea what I;m doing. Why was this a good idea? Don't worry, it wasn't, I just want to get to sleep since it is 6 hours past my bedtime and I have an appointment tonight. OH IT'S A BLOG LETS ALL SHITPOST MEME ARROWS COMING THROUGH

The're fucking with her meds. Dopamax won't change, can't change, they help the migraines. The 24 hour long ones that never ever go away. In Prozac, out Paxil plus Buspar. Sure whatever. Two weeks later where the fuck did you get all those marks and scars on your arm?!

I've been picking.

It's getting worse.

Now back to Prozac, no more Buspar. Instead Trileptal. In additional to the Dopamax. Question mark?

It's getting worse. It's getting much, much worse.
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mexxed !cDJp28xb8w!!CLeaAsfK - Fri, 14 Apr 2017 18:04:28 EST ID:U0vRG2V5 No.515465 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I dunno if I feel "superior", though I'm sure I come across as contemptuous of just about everyone, and that includes myself. Often I put myself first, maybe it's self-centered, maybe it's part of avoiding dealing with others, maybe it's a legitimate way of prioritizing one's life; but ultimately I think very lowly of myself, and I don't think I'm better than most people. I know I'm smarter than most people. Or rather, I know my IQ is significantly higher than most people's, for what that's worth, but all that means is I'm better at recognizing patterns and understanding abstract concepts. It means I'm different, that I think differently than most people, and so it's one reason I can't relate to most people. Dissociatives made me operate on a "dumber" level, more short-sighted, only focusing on one thing at a time and feeling one emotion at a time, so it made it easier to receive the surface-level shit that constitutes daily interaction with people.

You're right that it's all the same processes and mechanisms, just expressed differently based on class and culture. I didn't find anyone in Trenton who I could sit down and have a long, involved discussion with, without it veering off into weird anecdotes, conspiracy theories, or general misunderstandings. Everyone was poorly educated, most people solved their problems with shouting and fighting, and generally venting at each other. I suppose the term "genuine" is misleading here. What I really appreciated about it was that it's more immediate and direct. It was *easier*. And people weren't engaging in long-term mind games to embellish their public image, most social interactions were forgotten two minutes later. In a middle class setting I find myself getting caught up in obsessive thinking. The same neurotic, obsessive thinking that most of my neighbors are probably doing too. I have to put up extra layers of bullshit because I don't have any positive traits, and it's exhausting. I find myself worrying about bullshit like did I park my car too close to my neighbor's car and does that make her uncomfortable? When I smiled and wav…
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Martin Fuckingford - Fri, 14 Apr 2017 18:34:52 EST ID:bAj8skhr No.515466 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Sorry, when I said you were delusional about yourself I forgot to type the word "not". You are not delusional because you realise you're just like everyone else. You're in the sort of misanthrope who doesn't think "everyone else is stupid just not me".
mexxed !cDJp28xb8w!!CLeaAsfK - Fri, 14 Apr 2017 20:22:15 EST ID:U0vRG2V5 No.515468 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I see, that makes more sense now. Yeah, I really don't think I'm any better. As I said above I might act like it in public, and it might seep out as I speak in private, but it's more of a defense mechanism, an unconscious attempt to avoid embarrassment and other unpleasant thoughts. Unfortunately, I think most people are at least emotionally competent enough to see through that. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't like to play guessing games over how smart or how perceptive people are, I just assume people can see through me or are going to judge me regardless, and then sometimes they prove me wrong. Guilty until proven innocent.

I *used* to think I was better than other people, but I quickly grew out of that after high school. That was more of a rebellious teenager thing than anything. It's easy to believe a lot of wrong things when you're a kid, because you simply haven't seen enough of the world, experienced enough, or dealt with enough people. You've got a very small frame of reference, and it works the same way the other way around where very depressed kids who think very lowly of themselves go and off themselves because their small world isn't treating them well at the moment, and if they'd had one more distraction or one more word of encouragement, they might have been able to tough it out and start an adult life of much more "interesting" mental illness.
Nathaniel Trotshaw - Fri, 14 Apr 2017 20:25:56 EST ID:zbKXnohS No.515469 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Get an animal. Cleaning up shit every day makes you reassess your place in the world.
mexxed !cDJp28xb8w!!CLeaAsfK - Sat, 15 Apr 2017 02:56:39 EST ID:U0vRG2V5 No.515482 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Okay this I really would never do. I thoroughly dislike keeping pets, it doesn't do anything for me. I'm likely to neglect them. I grew up with a dog and later a cat, my fiancee had ferrets, rats, geckos, and anoles, and currently has two snakes. I've tolerated these but I just don't really get it. And anyway with my fiancee's worsening symptoms lately I've felt like I've been cleaning up shit every day, metaphorically.

五次元スクールの吉田 真由美 先生のペルーツアー by 吉田 真由美 - Fri, 14 Apr 2017 23:16:48 EST ID:Go8pQQWf No.515478 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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