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I'm kind of a empty shell. by Angus Dongermodge - Thu, 18 Jan 2018 22:35:40 EST ID:L9x3lDju No.521619 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I have no passion. I just keep jumping from one thing to another but nothing sticks. I want to be "that guy who is really into X!" or something know what I'm saying?

I wasted most of my life playing video games but realized I don't even like them, they're just entertainment to me. Then I kind of made friends with a guy who is into cars, but I don't really care. I really just wanted help fixing my car sometimes.

I just consume entertainment to amuse myself. I want the human experience not the robot one!

Is what I'm saying even making sense!?
9 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>
Ian Wibberchin - Wed, 24 Jan 2018 04:06:35 EST ID:7oTdIRwW No.521717 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I feel you, I'm like this too. Tried painting, Chinese painting, graffiti, woodworking, etc etc. I'm always getting bored because I got disappointed that I wasn't some sort of artistic savant.

Picked up the guitar a couple of months ago, now I have a nice collection of folk and blues songs, and I'm the guy that's really into folk and blues now. Of course, I realized I always was, but it's fun to play the guitar, even if it's just a session learning a song the odd day in the week.

You should try it dude. Or maybe get yourself a boat,
>>
Nell Gallyford - Thu, 25 Jan 2018 12:42:54 EST ID:ubvsw9Wx No.521738 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521640
The baby step method isn't exactly revolutionary. I'm giving it a shot too though. I figured I'd try to learn martial arts, so as long as I go to the classes or do some exercise on days I don't go, I'm making progress even if it's slow. I don't enjoy it, it gives me massive anxiety, but that's basically the same with everything I do. I'm hoping if I stick with it I will learn to enjoy it, or failing that at least I'll get in good shape and can maybe try having sex with girls because I hear that's pretty enjoyable.
>>
Molly Honeygold - Thu, 25 Jan 2018 15:46:08 EST ID:uUb+SnDs No.521743 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521738
of course it's not but I'm hard headed and want everything instantly. if that doesn'tt happen I give up pretty quick most of the time. appearently people born by c-section are prone to doing to..

Sex is neat but overrated, but I've only had one person so far so I'm probably wrong..just learn to be confident with yourself or you will always try to hard. at least thats how it was for me.
>>521640 here
>>
Reuben Mubblededge - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 19:27:52 EST ID:DoK4cjeL No.521896 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521658
This, do it all, do art, sculpting, fix cars, spraypaint trains, do it all. "Throw it all at the wall and see what sticks". I do disagree with one thing though, that there is no depth to someone who is really good at one thing, because I'm slowly getting better at less things, I'm slowly shedding hobbies and actually getting pretty fucking good at those hobbies.
>>
Hannah Secklecocke - Thu, 01 Feb 2018 17:50:48 EST ID:AHw0fUKB No.521919 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>I want to be "that guy who is really into X!"
Why?


Is deliberate depersonalization the solution to all personal issues? by Shit Bicklehedge - Sat, 27 Jan 2018 15:01:58 EST ID:Apk6cuJ3 No.521789 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I mean, think about the Buddhist concepts of sunyata and anatta, emptiness and no-self. Basically it's cultivated depersonalization, not only of the body but of everything else. Life becomesa weather pattern, and this day is a flash of lightning. What is a personal problem, if not a droplet in a cloud? Today it rains, tomorrow it's all gone.

Why is there something rather than nothing? That's the problem right there; we assume that there is in fact something, and that this question we've asked ourselves is both relevant and meaningful, when in fact it's just nonsensical bullshit.

Over and out, shake it all about.
11 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
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Frederick Dartfuck - Tue, 30 Jan 2018 12:35:55 EST ID:COAX7aNZ No.521859 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521858
>I took the obvious troll and want to call someone stupid
He beat you.

Also it's not finding value in anything.
>>
Simon Shittingforth - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 19:43:46 EST ID:Svgtf+UD No.521897 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521851
psychosis often includes both derealization and depersonalization

obviously they can happen without psychosis, but i dont think its healthy for the brain/mind. start off with depersonalization, next thing you know youre detached from reality and having delusions and shit. potentially a slippery slope
>>
Molly Billingspear - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 23:59:55 EST ID:ZMDYtLUz No.521904 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521851
https://academic.oup.com/schizophreniabulletin/article/40/3/483/1905514

>One of the less tangible features, however, of schizoidism is existential fragility. Several of us in this ball-park of experience talk of the noticeable pleasure at zebra crossings when cars stopped for us—it proved that they could see us and therefore that we were ‘there’ and hence existed. This vacuousness to the self, also addressed by Guntrip has the corollary that one finds it better to live by a theory or an ideology rather than “just live.” Such a theoretical structure gives order and stability.

>Vacuousness of identity is not surprisingly associated with extremely faint and permeable boundaries between self and other. One finds oneself imitating particularly charismatic others (even having their face), while the mere presence of other people, especially loud and talkative people, can be incredibly invasive and draining. “Hell is other people” as Sartre used to say. [Wearing someone else’s face can also be found in Ted Hughes’s poetry (see p116 in Hughes et al.10).]

>Boundary permeability in this context also tends to apply to the boundary within of the conscious and unconscious. The distractibility often commented on in psychosis also includes inner distractibility. Not surprisingly, this has advantages for creativity but distractibility also can lead to “strange” behaviors such as isolating oneself, being reclusive, and doing things such as living behind locked doors or drawn curtains even on a bright summer day—all to cut down distracting stimulation.

>If one cannot find oneself or be oneself and so has no idea who one is, one solution is to take on different roles and personas. Perhaps, as did the poet Philip Larkin, by being other people one will find oneself? And perhaps by being somebody else one at least exists and is perhaps in some way better?
>>
Awe' !!vVWR8L52 - Thu, 01 Feb 2018 09:37:45 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.521910 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>521904
perhaps I'm shizo and biased, but most of this sounds like simply having more attention and being less fragmented than the average person.
>>
James Duckway - Fri, 02 Feb 2018 06:44:10 EST ID:ZMDYtLUz No.521932 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521910
Exact opposite.


Recently diagnosed... by Edward Gondleridge - Mon, 08 Jan 2018 13:29:19 EST ID:JsQi4/8G No.521280 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I was recently going out with a guy that was a bit nerdy, and not much my type. I have been sick of the assholes I've dated, that I gave this guy (let's call him D) a chance because he was such a gentleman. So it seemed.

It took us about 4 dates to get sexual. D only performed oral sex on me, on a night we got too drunk and high. We tried to have sex but he was so drunk he couldn't get it up.

After about 5 days, I started to notice what looked like a normal yeast infection. Started to get bad, extremely painful to the point I couldn't go to the bathroom or sit. Went to the gynecologist and as soon as he saw me down there, he immediately said it was herpes.

I'm on antibiotics, and now I'm getting better. I just got diagnosed on Thursday. Still waiting for the test results, but yea my doc was 100% sure and the medicine is working so....basically confirmed

On Sat. went to talk to D, didn't even give a kiss. i was shaking the entire ride to his house because I knew it was my responsibility to tell him and take the risk of him rejecting me and being angry at me.

I had sex with a guy about 4 weeks before starting to date D, so I thought he had given it to me.

To my surprise, as soon as I told D. he said "but how did you get it, we haven't had sex" Of course the doctor told me that if he had a breakout in his mouth and preformed oral on me, I got it. D confirmed he had a breakout that night.

I could not believe it. This guy had a stable job, good income, nice apt, clean, an amazing dog owner.
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Hugh Gongerson - Tue, 30 Jan 2018 10:04:12 EST ID:Bg12vtmc No.521857 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Only bad boys can get STDs amirite guys? Women are dumb as shit. No sympathy for you OP, especially because you thought you were the one who gave it to him and felt guilty and scared of rejection, but then suddenly got vengeful and cut him off when you realised it was the other way round. It's like women are completely incapable of empathy.

Newsflash: sexual activity carries risk of STDs. Even with "nice guys" (read: unattractive betas), believe it or not.
>>
John Bunfoot - Tue, 30 Jan 2018 20:35:27 EST ID:W9hjptQi No.521869 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521857
>>521813
>I'm not even ashamed to admit anymore that I hate women and I'm fucking terrified of them, such that I make every effort to avoid them at all cost.

Keep your weird scared of girls issues in your own thread and stop taking out your insecurities on women in /qq/
I hope you're going to organize a shrink for yourself soon because you're gonna be miserable and alone for the rest of your life if you go around unleashing your toxicity on everybody
>>
Barnaby Blettingman - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 04:04:33 EST ID:Bg12vtmc No.521873 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521869

>you're gonna be alone for the rest of your life

I know. For the record I don't unleash my toxicity on anybody, in fact I avoid interacting with people altogether as a deliberate attempt to avoid doing so. Regardless you have to admit this chick is dumb as shit for thinking she couldn't get an STD from an unattractive "nice guy", that is why I attacked her.

NB
>>
Oliver Dubbledale - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 12:53:02 EST ID:COAX7aNZ No.521881 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521873
You're interacting with people here too.
>>
Phoebe Clellerbury - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 22:09:32 EST ID:0BnCVO6+ No.521901 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521280

OP here!

>>521711
I’m sorry that happened to you as well.
First of, my doc told me it’s UNLIKELY I will get another outbreak, not that I wont, because genital herpes 1 doesn’t really like to live on the genitals. It likes better to be on the mouth. So the recurring of outbreaks are far less common than on type2.

And of course I will take precautions as well as inform my future sexual partners, for fucks sake.

>>521600
You are saying I choose shallow reasons to sleep with someone? When I gave the chance to someone because of how they were treating me, instead of looks.

I was & am looking for a stable/serious relationship, this is the reason why I chose to look pass the physical and focus more on the person and their lifestyle.
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.


teeth are fucked, life is fucked by Doris Cebblestodge - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 06:12:44 EST ID:PacAXLS5 No.521874 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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i have suffered from anxiety and depression sice i was a little kid, basically. i have given up on the prospect of having a calm mind one day, i just want to get through until I can, somehow. i want to write and experience what little life has to offer before i die. however.. i have extreme phobia of all doctors, it is so bad that it has gotten to the point of me not even going near a building where those white-cloaked clerics might reside. long story short, my teeth are fucked and i am contemplating suicide because of it. there is no solution: i have tried countless therapies, sunk my money into them and it yielded no results - i can take the first steps, i can even make an appointment but as soon as i leave the house with the intention of getting my teeth fixed, i automatically vomit and cry and i can never bring myself to actually opening my mouth. i am terrified of the pain and have had some really shitty experiences with dentists. i know dentistry has come a long way but my teeth are infected and you can not properly numb an infected tooth. novocaine does not work in acidic environments. so you are always going to feel something. not to mention the numbing shot would be excruciatingly painful on the sensitive, infected surface of my gums. my teeth are fucked, blackened, slowly rotting away and i am in unbearable pain. i cant even do general anaesthesia because you have to do a bunch of tests before the operation, including blood tests and generally seeing a lot of doctors. i have tried sedation, benzos, hypnosis, everything, really, i have sunk enormous amounts of energy, while anxious and depressed and virtually cashless, into solving this problem and i have not moved an inch. so much effort, all for nothing. just thinking about the dentist throws me into a state of panic, i can not sleep because of this, nor can i properly eat or enjoy anything else, really. what to do? i know you guys probably wont give me a magical solution, after all, i have been to many therapists and heard all about the rational approach i should tkae. i have tried, did not work. what the fuck do i do, it feels so bad that i have to leave this world because of my fucked teeth, it has taken everything from me.
7 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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Cornelius Sittingman - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 16:15:35 EST ID:EDbTBr9r No.521888 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Sounds like you need to see a psychiatrist before you do anything. Preferring to kill yourself rather than subject yourself to a few hour of pain and discomfort is not normal. Get some professional help dude, you are completely irrational.
>>
Jarvis Braddlechidging - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 16:24:23 EST ID:6kGiOmgw No.521889 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521874
Benzodiazapenes were invented for people like you. Ask for a prescription to get you through the doctors visits for the anesthesia.
>>
Doris Cebblestodge - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 16:39:21 EST ID:PacAXLS5 No.521890 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521888 you bet i am, i am completely insane. i have tried professional help. didnt help. been visitin psychiatrists since i was a child basically

>>521889 i have tried man, inhuman doses, no help.
>>
Cornelius Sittingman - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 17:06:03 EST ID:EDbTBr9r No.521891 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521890
idk man maybe you can get some dentist to agree to put you under with anesthesia for the whole thing. Get some medical professionals on your side to work on your case. If you have been seeing a particular psychiatrist thats a good place to start. You may also want to have an MD know what your situation is about and help to find some solution. If this infection is getting to the point of being dangerous they may be more willing to try unusual methods. What you need is to have everyone (psych, MD and Dentist) all on the same page so that they can know what they are dealing with and how to approach it. It might take some doing but at this point its probably your best bet.
>>
Doris Cebblestodge - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 17:59:59 EST ID:PacAXLS5 No.521894 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521891 thanks for the input


weekly motel by Lydia Soblingforth - Mon, 29 Jan 2018 22:42:32 EST ID:UZC9gHak No.521836 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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im looking to go to move to a new city and use a weekly motel for awhile to get on my feet.

i found a few on craigslist then opened up a yellowpages page and found a bunch of them but it's really hard to find any weekly rates i have to use ctrl f and look through the comments really fast with a list of like 200 hotels. i have no problems with quality i just dont want bed bugs and i want the cheapest ones avaliable.

im finding a lot for like 225-300/week but im not finding anything cheaper than that but people in the comments are saying they found some for 170/week. i thought i would be guranteed bed bugs but a lot of the ones around 250/week don't really seem to have them and i saw places that costed 400/week and still had bed bugs problems so i don't think living cheap will be too bad. i dont mind if its beat up a little i just want a semi working AC since its a really hot city.

do you have to always book these things or can you just show up and pay? can you check a room for bed bugs before you pay or can you at least get a refund if you find them? i really don't want to pay $250 bucks then walk in and see bugs crawling around my bed and then just have to walk out get an uber and then go to the next one and hope i don't need reservations for them and shit and they're all across the city like hours away almost.

i think its easy to tell which one has bugs though because they show up on the registry and people tell you in the comments but i don't think every single room in the place has them. i guess i can always hit a regular hotel in the middle of my search but i kinda wanna do everything straight forward and without spending or wasting money
1 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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Lydia Soblingforth - Mon, 29 Jan 2018 23:41:03 EST ID:UZC9gHak No.521841 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521837
oh wow im surprised its that easy to get money back the service sounds AWFUL how do i find places besides just online? im only finding like 10-20 online spread throughout the whole county i really wanna know where they are by location and stuff incase im there and stuck in an area

can you just call ahead and see if they have a lot of rooms left or do you have to book it. if the first hotel ends up being a bust should i just start calling all the other ones? are they common at all? like any section of a city will have a handful of them so i can find a couple close to me or are they always just spread out really far?

sorry never done anything like this
>>
Oliver Badgeworth - Tue, 30 Jan 2018 18:42:28 EST ID:2woSsADF No.521866 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521841
Sure, you can just call and see what they have available. There's always a chance someone might take the rooms that they have in between when you call and when you show up if you don't book, but if they have lots of rooms available it's probably not a big deal. If you don't like one, go find another one. It's pretty simple. Businesses often locate themselves near their competitors because of economic reasons so you're likely to find motels near other motels. Just look it up online. I don't see why you're so worried about this, staying in a motel isn't a big deal. Btw, lots of motels have beds that are sealed in plastic (cause people have hella sex on them) so you don't have to worry about bed bugs.
>>
Jack Ferringstock - Tue, 30 Jan 2018 20:42:20 EST ID:AHw0fUKB No.521870 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What is this bullshit
Why not rent an apartment with some roomies

Are you old enough to be on this website Lydia?
>>
Hamilton Cruffingtot - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 02:14:24 EST ID:h/1sxUpj No.521872 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521870
I'm pretty sure this is the same guy whose parents won't drive him to the airport. If so this is real progress.
>>
Angus Brongerdan - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 13:42:58 EST ID:UZC9gHak No.521883 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521866
alright im gonna try and call ahead and make note of which ones have the most rooms avaliable and shit

i was looking up the bus routes on google maps in between the apartments and its like 2 hours of walking and busses to get across the city almost in some places but they're not all super far apart

to the other guy not one single person will rent to you unseen


Not Getting On Well With Group As long as everyone else by Polly Pammlenutch - Tue, 30 Jan 2018 00:37:14 EST ID:pA7WlH1n No.521844 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I watched a sports game with a group of people and had fun for a little bit. I drank pretty fast and had fun for most of the time.

Sometimes toward the end though, I tuned out. I couldn't feel apart of the moment and went silent. I'm glad it was timed well enough so that everyone left after I was ready but I definitely couldn't have taken it if it had gone much longer.

I don't want to worry too much but I feel like I'll be the odd one out because I want to get away from everyone faster than they want to get away. I'm not sure exactly what it is but I feel like I'm at some kind of social disadvantage, even when I'm drinking the drink that's supposed to make people more socially active.
>>
Simon Blamblekock - Tue, 30 Jan 2018 01:56:08 EST ID:IaTqRtaT No.521846 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521844
You don’t have to force set timeframes on socialization. If you want to be friends with the group yeah you’ve gotta spend time with them, that’s what being part of the group is. But if you want to go to the party go, if you don’t then don’t. If you’re tired and socially exhausted let them know you’re gonna head out and it’s been fun.

There doesn’t have to be some big ordeal over how you hang out, if they like you then just spending a little time here and there is fine.


Jobs by Phyllis Wodgefoot - Wed, 24 Jan 2018 15:19:39 EST ID:TaFne6hd No.521727 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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How do I find a decent paying job without stresding myself to death? It seems like everything around is beneath me, outside of my skillset, or too temporary. I need something immediately so school and training is a pointless recommendation.
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Charlotte Chockledotch - Sat, 27 Jan 2018 00:35:08 EST ID:t3K3xeJD No.521778 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521777
buzz phrase is a buzz phrase
>>
Simon Peffingshaw - Sat, 27 Jan 2018 00:49:37 EST ID:lXjUaJuo No.521779 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521778
Now that's a buzz-phrase
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Albert Bebbertick - Sat, 27 Jan 2018 22:11:22 EST ID:xLSah8qQ No.521796 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521779

You stop your buzz-phrasing right now, mister.
>>
Awe' !!vVWR8L52 - Mon, 29 Jan 2018 18:30:31 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.521834 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>521796
>>
Sidney Hirringridge - Mon, 29 Jan 2018 23:24:14 EST ID:4hVthpz2 No.521840 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521776
The fact you're so fired up over someone else casting off the phrase "cognitive dissonance" probably indicates you suffer from "cognitive dissonance"
You're so neurotypical.


i'll never get over her as long as i'm lonely.... right? by Ernest Clusslelock - Sun, 28 Jan 2018 19:21:26 EST ID:Bg12vtmc No.521813 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So my girlfriend left me well over a year ago and yet I do not feel any less fucking devastated to have lost her than the day she dumped me... I do not feel like I have healed or grown at all... in fact it's getting worse. I think about her multiple times per day and struggle not to be reminded of her, she's even been managing to invade my dreams recently so I don't even get any rest from it when I sleep.

If anyone remembers.... I'm that guy who occasionally made threads about the bad sex with her destroying my mind and wanting to cut my balls off. I have lost all my friends and completely fucked up my life. I have severe social anxiety which has always been there throughout my life but got *much* worse when I was with her. She destroyed every last morsel of confidence and self-belief within my soul to the point where I feel completely unable to connect with other people at all (when people I used to be friends with try to talk to me it's just painful and sad because I can't even pretend to be happy or have a personality anymore). In all honesty, I feel that I've been 'redpilled' on female sexual nature way more than I can handle and I shitpost on r9k everyday as a coping mechanism. Knowing what I now know about the nature of women relative to myself, I'm absolutely certain I could never have a fulfilling relationship with a woman ever again. I'm not even ashamed to admit anymore that I hate women and I'm fucking terrified of them, such that I make every effort to avoid them at all cost.

To conclude my rant... I thought maybe time would be a healer, but extrapolating my current progress I ain't going nowhere. I'm coming to the realisation that as long as I am lonely this feeling of grief and loss over her will always be associated with my loneliness and isolation, and given that my social phobia is so severe that I cannot bond with other people in any way, I fear it's likely this will be forever. Am I right? Am I wrong? Is there hope? I don't fucking know..

/rant
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Cyril Porrypit - Mon, 29 Jan 2018 08:23:41 EST ID:jOBQO+s8 No.521824 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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People who are thriving and mentally sound don't tend to harbour a venomous, all-consuming hatred for women. Your hatred, your obsession with your ex, along with your anxieties, your isolation and self-hate, are all symptoms of deeper issues.

I agree with the above poster - get a therapist. You need one. Be as open and honest as you can be about your problems, try to find the underlying root, and work together to figure out a solution. Talk to your family and say you're having a tough time and need some help. As fucked up as you are, it is never too late - this is all entirely in your hands. You're not doomed, it's a choice - do you want to get better, or do you want to wallow?

You have to start thinking about why your shit is so fucked up in order to fix it. Why are you hurting? What is it that's tormenting you? Why aren't you getting over her? Why were you tormenting yourself when you were actually with her? Why are you so full of hate? Why are you afraid of people? Do you love yourself? Why did your friendships die out? Why are you obsessing? What is broken in your everyday life that you need to fix? Are you actually looking after yourself? Etc etc.

P.S. Doris Chadledene is right, stop blaming others for your feelings and being a faggot
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Awe' !!vVWR8L52 - Mon, 29 Jan 2018 18:17:29 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.521832 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521813
don't think that a certain circumstance will make you feel whole again, it won't and it's a trap. if you are hardcore you can just meditate in silence now without anything there to comfort and soothe you, just the raw presence and you may be surprised that you are source enough for all dem' pleasant feelings. Don't jump to conclusions, I don't know how to explain that, but if you meditate you will have a better chance of understanding what i mean. You can do it in many settings in life.
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Awe' !!vVWR8L52 - Mon, 29 Jan 2018 18:34:36 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.521835 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521832
Oh i figured it would be understood, but by silence i mean inner silence.
>>
Sidney Hirringridge - Mon, 29 Jan 2018 23:15:12 EST ID:4hVthpz2 No.521839 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Go on Tinder
Be goofy with people you meet
Say 'fuck it' more often
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Betsy Dripperkeck - Tue, 30 Jan 2018 00:12:52 EST ID:TIWOZl94 No.521842 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521823
If you are going to be pedantic you might as well take the effort to be correct in your reply.


"depression" by Augustus Shakeshit - Sat, 27 Jan 2018 10:00:46 EST ID:JsmIk+Ly No.521783 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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The first time I was put on anti-depressants was at 14. I'm 22 now and my life is a wreck. I have a support network in my parents and my sister but my parents have given up on me and I don't feel comfortable talking to my sister. My friends have all moved on.

I'm trying university again. I've missed half the lectures. I feel trapped because all the advice I get online is people telling me to build self-worth at a job, and the workload in this course is too intense for a part time job. My sleep routine can be perfect, I go for a run every night, but in the morning I can't make myself get up and when I study at home I can go an entire day of 6-8 hours and read 10 lecture slides when obvious internet procrastination is minimal.

I'm not currently on anti-depressants and I've been seeing a therapist weekly or once every two weeks for nearly 3 years. I'm starting to even miss assignments. The obvious thing is to drop out, but I went all in this year.I only have 3 months left, and I've reengaged with people to the extent I'd say 15+ people tangentially know I'm in university. To be honest if I can't make it into second year I have to kill myself, this is my last chance and I've known that for over a year.

I don't want to be this way. I'm thinking of abusing amphetamines long term, pretty sure I already have some brain damage. At least it'll help with concentration and enthusiasm to get up / interact with people. I bought into the LSD meme and it did nothing, just 8 hours of not being able to work. Did it twice. The "self-discovery" aspect was just brooding over my situation, how I'm an asshole, and how I've fucked everything up, my genetics. The exact same stuff that goes through my mind anyway. Now I might be feeling even worse now, might be from depleted serotonin levels or the guilt from taking a psychedelic drug 1 room from when my mother sleeps.
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Nathaniel Fasslelun - Sun, 28 Jan 2018 17:26:51 EST ID:USUZpST+ No.521810 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521806
I found it helped me realise it's better to get focus doing sensible things like eating healthy, getting enough sleep and exercise instead of taking chemicals.
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Cyril Porrypit - Mon, 29 Jan 2018 08:50:27 EST ID:jOBQO+s8 No.521826 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I've been through this too, majored in physics, felt like a piece of shit for not working, felt trapped and like I was acheiving nothing, constantly torturing myself with fears of failure etc... My advice would be, firstly, don't trust yourself to study at home, ever. I found it so much easier to focus on campus - I hated being the dickhead in the library watching memes on youtube when other people are hard at work. Also I fell into the trap of "oh I got up 2 hours late today, guess this day is ruined and I'm just a piece of shit". Took me years to discover that... I'm not a piece of shit... I can roll up at the library at 4pm and still get a couple of hours of
work done before the evening... And as long as I did a little something almost every day, I wouldn't totally screw myself over.
Secondly, you are being unnecessarily cruel to yourself. Just cruel. Love yourself, count your blessings - I know it's cliched but the truth is there is huge solace to be found in gratitude. You are actually doing really well. You're at uni again, despite the shit you've gone through - that's an achievement. And you're doing physics and maths, which is actually quite fucking challenging. You're going running, something a lot of people struggle to pick up, and it's really good for you. You're capable of having a healthy sleeping pattern. You're maintaining relationships. And most importantly, you don't want to feel like this anymore.

But all this stuff about doing meth or modafinil or whatever are just you running from your problems. Just like procrastination, it's the easy way out, barely even a short term solution. And for jebus sake failing first year won't ruin your life, don't be silly.
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Fanny Fublingson - Mon, 29 Jan 2018 18:09:26 EST ID:COAX7aNZ No.521831 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521805
>Its not in my genetics
Not true. Plenty of girls end up ripped without steroids though a lot of them aren't big they look athletic. As a man you will gain muscle if you do it right. Don't buy into -morph bullshit. There's a reason you see it more on /b/ than on fitness discuss. Fitness discussion is just "how do I do it?".

I think you probably are very good at procrastinating or making excuses. You put yourself down but don't try anything. I think you're good at a lot of other stuff too but you don't even try. You just want easy ways out, magic bullets, low effort solutions.

I've been there so I'm pretty sure you're full of shit but I'm not sure how to break it. For me it was a case of depression having it's ups and downs as it does and giving me a little break and me just going to town. Once I got going it did come back but I was strong enough to keep going forward.

Also key is accepting failure and just saying "well okay, what can I do to mitigate this" (note: not prevent and also not "I can't do anything") and then exercising damage control. Imagine if when you drop your wet laundry on the floor you've spent your whole life putting it back in the basket and wearing dirty clothes for 2 weeks, "why even wash weekly? I always drop it "you say and put your four day old, now muddy underpants back on. One day you pick everything up quickly and realise that only 2 items got dirty, you hang the rest up and dry. "my life is so much better, I'm wearing clean clothes, I've come so far".

No I was not literally like this but I had that mentality and so do you. Unfortunately I cannot just transfer the knowledge to you, your depression means you fight it. But maybe if you pay attention to what I say, when you get that little break you'll consider it again and give it a go and when it starts to work you'll realise what you're truly capable of.
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Isabella Tillingforth - Mon, 29 Jan 2018 23:08:13 EST ID:/sZVDlEX No.521838 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Good luck OP. I basically did the exact same thing as you except I ended up dropping out the second time as well due to depression. I wonder how my life would have gone if I had just buckled down and done my coursework and graduated. Maybe it would have been better, maybe worse, who knows. It definitely would have been nice to have the options that a degree gives you though.
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Betsy Dripperkeck - Tue, 30 Jan 2018 00:42:57 EST ID:TIWOZl94 No.521845 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I dropped out myself. I had depression, social anxiety, a suicide attempt and all of the rest. I got help for that stuff but it didn't help with the study. Every semester I skipped lectures, handed in assignments late and started crying uncontrollably when the end of semester came close

The problem was I wasn't being honest with myself. I didn't want to get a degree and land a shitty job that makes money killing myself. When you've been suicidal half your life you don't believe a lot of the bullshit. But I still believed that I had to become somebody that I wasn't. I don't have to be anybody that I'm not, my friend. And now I just am.

After that there's only up


The butt of the jokes. Is it a problem? by ItsNot2001 - Mon, 29 Jan 2018 12:08:33 EST ID:0e9B8Fmo No.521827 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So, im probably overthinking this, but i have had a lot of time to think recently and there's something that's bugging me a bit.

I have a lot of friends across multiple social groups, and I am a well liked guy. However, in these social groups, I am very often the one who takes the brunt of the jokes, the one who has the most references and in jokes about, the goof.

I dont particularly care about this, i am confident enough and happy enough within myself. If anything sometimes I just get tired at people's lack of ability to think of something witty and just to reference something I did or said from years and years ago. But mostly i dont really care.

Im very unconfrontational about it all. Mostly because i dont care and also because biting at their bait is just giving them exactly what they want. So i normally just play along or joke with them too.

I will say at this point, the hazing i get is almost exclusively from the guys in the social group. I never have any of the girls join in with the 'banter'. Quite often I'll have the girls argue with the guys and defend me when they say stuff. Its all very alpha male, gorilla's jostling for position type of thing.

But, im wondering if i should be more upset about this? When new people join our social circle, guys and girls, they are quickly introduced to this culture of in jokes around me. Ive never cared, but im wondering if all this is seriously hurting people's first and lasting impressions of me.

I'll emphasise that im not the only one who gets jokes said about them. I live in the UK and taking the piss out of your mates is the only way guys communicate over here, but i would say i probably take more of the abuse than most.

So yeah. Is this an issue? I've never really given a fuck but I'm wondering if i should start to. And even if i do, how do i go about this without biting at their shitty banter and giving them reactions they want?
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Fanny Fublingson - Mon, 29 Jan 2018 12:56:11 EST ID:COAX7aNZ No.521828 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521827
>because i dont care
Well no, you clearly do.
>I live in the UK and taking the piss out of your mates is the only way guys communicate over here
That's also not really true. Though a lot of friends do take the piss. It's intercourse though, not just one person being pelted with jokes most of the time. I sit and talk about life, jobs, that sort of shit with my friends. I'm genuinely interested in if J can find something he actually wants to do his life and if also J decides to keep climbing the ladder and if he's going to get this house. I know I'm getting old.

You have a few choices. You can shut up and put up, if it's not ruining your chances of getting laid or landing jobs or people trusting you then it might be fine.

You can just tell them it's getting old. Like it's just old in jokes and not genuine wit. Most likely to make you look dull but also most likely to make them genuinely re evaluate their behavior.

You can call them out. Next time they call back something from 5 years ago, you point that out. If you can't do this with any wit it's going to be like the above but without as much chance they'll genuinely rethink things.

You can shit talk them back.

You can find new friends.
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Awe' !!vVWR8L52 - Mon, 29 Jan 2018 17:59:23 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.521830 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521827
holy fuck op, that's some trip you've got here.

Simple just do whatever the fuck you want.


how to indicate on dating sites/social media you're a user seeking another user... by Shit Dartforth - Sun, 28 Jan 2018 19:16:55 EST ID:aS5NsVdk No.521811 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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DICKS EVERYWHERE
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Shit Dartforth - Sun, 28 Jan 2018 19:18:45 EST ID:aS5NsVdk No.521812 Ignore Report Quick Reply
oh wow I pressed enter instead of tab somehow what an embarrassment

anyway

...without it being incredibly obvious/getting people who just want drugs/a dealer?

I have some pretty decent selfies with dilated pupils, is that too heavy handed?
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Ernest Clusslelock - Sun, 28 Jan 2018 19:26:42 EST ID:Bg12vtmc No.521814 Ignore Report Quick Reply
A lot of girls on Tinder say '420 friendly' so I don't see anything wrong with that. It will put some women off but if one of your main priorities is finding a girl who's down for doing lots of drugs then it's probably worth it. Just have a profile that makes it look like you have a life and are at least moderately successful and you should be fine.
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Shit Dartforth - Sun, 28 Jan 2018 19:34:48 EST ID:aS5NsVdk No.521816 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521814
Now that I read this, I think I'm overthinking it slightly, I just don't want to be used for drugs but to some extent that will be unavoidable and it'll be really easy to figure out on the first date if someone's doing that. At least I hope.


I cant have sex with my gf anymore... and it sucks by Polly Duckman - Fri, 22 Dec 2017 17:20:13 EST ID:vfv6CJ4n No.520786 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Summary:
>been dating this girl for 6 months now
>im 6 years older than her (27 vs 21)
>im more sexually experienced than her (shes plain jane vanilla af)

When we first got togeather I would get hard from just making out and my hog would stay hard. But over the last few weeks it takes effort to get aroused and when I am hard I go soft when I penetrate her. She hates suxking dick and her hand job skills are sub-par (this is b/c of her inexperience). I care about her emotionally but it seems like im not that physically attracted to her (or atleast thats how she feels). Its not a nerves/drug issue, so wtf is going on??
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Phineas Hiddlefock - Fri, 26 Jan 2018 09:06:54 EST ID:8l2djH8Q No.521764 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Any partner- male, female, or other- who won't do everything in their power to get their significant other off orally isn't worth shit tbh OP. Dump her
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Jarvis Tootway - Fri, 26 Jan 2018 11:19:06 EST ID:Gz8NMxIA No.521767 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>520786
Is it because of inexperience? When I met my first boyfriend I read hours reading articles to make sure I'd be able to please him and I found out later that he had been doing the same and although we were both virgins we had a lot of fun together

Well, ok, she isn't a reader, me and first boyfriend bonded over books before becoming a couple so that was bound to happen. But surely you can give her tips? Communicate?
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Jarvis Tootway - Fri, 26 Jan 2018 11:21:21 EST ID:Gz8NMxIA No.521769 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521767
(reading is better than watching videos because porn is based on what looks good while people write tips based on what feels good)
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Priscilla Gebblefut - Fri, 26 Jan 2018 11:32:08 EST ID:ROGlj1oY No.521771 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>520792
this, you have to unlock the freak side in her
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Doris Porryworth - Sat, 27 Jan 2018 17:44:08 EST ID:eLRQSL1/ No.521793 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521771
this, I met a shy girl and she was so afraid of having sex at first. I had to hug her and caress her hair and bs like that.
One day I took her to buy some sexy clothes, make her feel comfortable by taking some nice pictures of her wearing more revealing clothing, edited the best and printed them for her. She started dressing more nicely and taking better care of herself, being more open and flirtatious, eventually i come home one day and she opens the door wearing only an apron like "it's time for dessert"

good times


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