Leave these fields empty (spam trap):
Name
You can leave this blank to post anonymously, or you can create a Tripcode by using the float Name#Password
A subject is required when posting a new thread
Subject
Comment
[*]Italic Text[/*]
[**]Bold Text[/**]
[~]Taimapedia Article[/~]
[%]Spoiler Text[/%]
>Highlight/Quote Text
[pre]Preformatted & Monospace text[/pre]
1. Numbered lists become ordered lists
* Bulleted lists become unordered lists
File

Sandwich


I honestly tried googling this but i couldnt find it by Nathaniel Penderfield - Thu, 08 Nov 2018 18:28:49 EST ID:xBssPwJc No.527655 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1541719729944.jpg -(310434B / 303.16KB, 2100x1572) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 310434
Which may be because I didnt know what to ask.
So I'm asking you guys.
As of recently, I'm kinda hanging out with this girl and my buds. Long story short, I think i'm in some sort of cakefart. I'm not sure. I don't get it. I don't know. I'm not even sure it matters.
But from my end, the more (platonic)intimacy I have with her, the more I feel compelled about her. I think about her... all the time.
But it's not a nice warm feeling. It's not lust either. Like, yeah she's attractive but my thoughts seem to be driven to...have her. To shape her. I envy her shit when if x y or z went through the same i would've never envied it, i feel "jolted" over trivial things on her habbits or past or whatever, whch i had long accepted, if ever i had a problem with them
And it makes me feel like absolute shit. I can't really stop seeing her easily because, well, she just hangs around wth my crew a lot. And yeah I do like her.
I think i'm absolutely fucked, I know my dad had a similar, much stronger behavior towards my mom - I'm just fortunate to be able to realize it?

I don't have much going on for my life, could that be it? I don't know what the fuck this feeling is.
4 posts and 1 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>
Nigel Buzzford - Sat, 10 Nov 2018 05:31:59 EST ID:Hu5948WJ No.527668 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527666
Shit man. I'm sorry about the first post. It was a bit grim. But yeah like she's a lady, she's gonna fuck.

If it's not you it's probably going to be somebody else in the group. It is just probability. One women is bound to find at least 1 in 5 men attractive. I mean men would fuck 4 out of 5 though. You better make a solid play now or wash your hands altogether. Just do it. Itll be cathartic.

I'm just saying, I pussied out and didn't make a move to seal at the right time the deal back in the day and my brother ended up fucking her. It's brutal. People are just people though. She was young and dudes be dudes. You just have a female friend. She's a woman that you value. There will be more. Trust me.
>>
Nigel Buzzford - Sat, 10 Nov 2018 05:35:30 EST ID:Hu5948WJ No.527669 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527668
I meant to respond to OP
>>
Fucking Blackway - Sun, 11 Nov 2018 20:13:23 EST ID:b2U4Jslk No.527688 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Like, yeah she's attractive but my thoughts seem to be driven to...have her. To shape her.
Fucking monkey.
>>
Molly Pozzledock - Mon, 12 Nov 2018 14:09:10 EST ID:xBssPwJc No.527705 Ignore Report Quick Reply
1542049750616.jpg -(74430B / 72.69KB, 1059x614) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
OP here.

Just wanted to thank everyone for all of your comments, your shared experiences actually helped me a lot to see this through.

Definitely wasn't aware about limerence. But it explains me to the T.
Not happy about it, but knowing my shit is definitely half the battle.

I got the cold shoulder I needed and well, now I can be half happy to say I must move on.

>>527688
Thanks, it's not like I recognize i'm fucked or anything.
>>
mr bigglewoe - Fri, 04 Jan 2019 19:04:42 EST ID:bX3FxiFV No.528523 Ignore Report Quick Reply
1546646682939.jpg -(32682B / 31.92KB, 552x471) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>527655
so love right thinking about ghosting be able to bring it back the senario of confidence. can you not connect to the confidant? for talking it takes away from thot. i think its funny you cant come to the flow. to know you these fucked girls, and why they decide to just give them selves to the a stream and not the ocean. you see cohesion is much simpler in the ocean.


These women waste my time by John Sundertedge - Tue, 01 Jan 2019 23:10:47 EST ID:GakUFH+s No.528468 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1546402247182.jpg -(11342B / 11.08KB, 275x183) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 11342
Why do women ghost why not just be alpha as fuck and be like ew i dont like you and stop beating around the bush and move the fuck on i remove you because i figure you dont want me in your precious circle than you get mad i delete you and my friends dont talk to you well they see you beating around the bush and hate thots like you. Lmao. At least i get respect all you get is bullshit i tried to be there for you but nah you wanna act too good you can fuck off im blockingg your fake thot ass. Yet i fell for your bullshit well jokes on me waste of my time. Papa bless waste my time never again. Hahahahahahahahahahahabaha and my pathetic post
15 posts and 1 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>
Barnaby Chizzlemure - Fri, 04 Jan 2019 12:18:06 EST ID:49h/J2oA No.528512 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528511
You know what they say?

Reubens gonna rube.
>>
Eugene Draffingwetch - Fri, 04 Jan 2019 16:56:09 EST ID:7Qw42TcO No.528516 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Reading this thread made me scared and gave me anxiety. I an very self-doubting, but my girlfriend assures me that I make her feel safe, and that it such a gift that I can hardly keep from crying. I can't imagine the pain and the fear of having been abused and then wandering back out into the great unknown, but my girlfriend did it and her strength in doing so has saved both of us. I truly mean that.
>>
Eugene Draffingwetch - Fri, 04 Jan 2019 17:48:25 EST ID:7Qw42TcO No.528517 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528516
Resting this thread dance me shared and gabe me Abiquiu. I am very self spurning but Mr girlfriend Alex me that i bang her hero fake, and that is sick a giddy that i can gaudy keep drum crony. I can't imaged the pain and fear of half been abused and then wandering into the gray unplanned, but my fielding did it and get strength in dormer so had saved birth I'd us. I felt meant that.
>>
Eugene Draffingwetch - Fri, 04 Jan 2019 17:54:44 EST ID:7Qw42TcO No.528518 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528517
Redding thir thread have me skate ah hang me assists. I available very self spurned but be fiendish asked me that i can't her hero game, and that is divi a Giusti that i can Friday Jewish dim crony. I cabby uncategorized thew play and gaya if twist Beth soar and when Waialua unfruitful the grad unpainted, but by duende did it ah hey suey in dorms so fash saved birth us us. I geek man thar.
>>
mr bigglewoe - Fri, 04 Jan 2019 18:20:13 EST ID:bX3FxiFV No.528519 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528468
so love right thinking about ghosting be able to bring it back the senario of confidence. can you not connect to the confidant? for talking it takes away from thot. i think its funny you cant come to the flow. to know you these fucked girls, and why they decide to just give them selves to the a stream and not the ocean. you see cohesion is much simpler in the ocean.


crazy ass ex gf by Walter Dattingmetch - Fri, 04 Jan 2019 02:49:28 EST ID:OuQCp+w8 No.528501 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1546588168115.jpg -(27502B / 26.86KB, 500x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 27502
So, I broke up with this girl of 2 years about 2 months back. I came to find out she was a HUGE cheater and slept with everyone. She's currently married(they went down to the courthouse to get married, dude cant even afford a ring) and they only knew eachother for 2 months. Goes to show what kind of person she is. She is a sociopath, shes a kleptomaniac, and she has a personality disorder. She has no remorse and is a HUGE pathological liar. Lied to me my entire relationship. So, ever since our breakup she's been telling people made up shit about me. Lying her ass saying I choked her with a shoe string once, and that I tried to give her bleach in a syringe so shed inject herself with it and die. A bunch of shit. All of our mutual "Friends" look at me like im crazy. She even told my drug dealer that I work with police(i dont) and he stopped selling to me. I really want to even the score up. What can I do? This shit has gone too far. I was thinking about taking empty heroin baggies and putting crushed Naltrexone in them and leaving it at their front door of their shitty section 8 apartment where they live with the dude's father and sleep in the living room. I figured they'd open the door one morning, see a few bags on the ground, take it and shoot it and get put into instant precipitated opiate withdrawal. I know it sounds petty but I'm fucking pissed. Any ideas?
>>
Hamilton Budgespear - Fri, 04 Jan 2019 09:24:22 EST ID:sJKf0dn6 No.528505 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Nothing you do will make her madder then forgeting about her and getting on with your life.
>>
Reuben Nimmledale - Fri, 04 Jan 2019 10:02:20 EST ID:THNi/hHd No.528507 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528501
I've known people like that, all you can do is wait. That shit and those rumours will stick to you for a while, but once people realize what she is like they will start texting you again. Like Hamilton says, forget, move on with your life, try to find a new circle of friends. Sorry, it sucks.


Childhood Realization by John Clumblewill - Mon, 15 Oct 2018 03:50:30 EST ID:vUaVEVlD No.527170 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1539589830255.jpg -(1037696B / 1013.38KB, 2327x2980) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 1037696
As an adult I'm starting to realize how utterly naive I was as a child, even as a teenager.

In school I would put myself around other kids who treated me like crap, but I didn't even realize it. I think I just desperately wanted to fit in and have friends.

Even in highschool my 'friendgroup' wasn't kind to me at all, and I have no clue how I would consider them friends or even spend time around any of them.

I only truly realized this in the last couple years running into old classmates, now as adults. I was really friendly to them but in return I could tell they were intimidated by me. And it stings a bit considering how many of them still are friends and hangout with eachother on a regular basis.

Now that I'm older reflecting on how I was treated it freaks me out a bit and I'm wondering if this is normal?
3 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>
mr bigglewoe - Tue, 01 Jan 2019 14:48:36 EST ID:bX3FxiFV No.528461 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527170
in not gona lie tho i can relate. you know what the defintion of normal is?
>>
Albert Lightman - Tue, 01 Jan 2019 21:29:17 EST ID:PMiKxfAC No.528466 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527219
I've been thinking about my old friends from back then as of late. I'm thinking about getting in touch with them and see what they've been up to these days and hash some stuff out between me and them. I miss them so much. I've been having a lot of dreams about them and it's starting to tear away at me that I fucked up my friendship with them over some stupid shit between me and their sister that happened years ago.

I think I'll contact them through Facebook tomorrow and see if they'll want to talk to me. These 2 friends from back then were like the brother(s) I never had. They did care about me and tried to help me when I was going through tough times and i didn't care about them trying to help me. I fucked up big time and i need to make things right between all of us. I'm not trying to sound gay or anything. But, I do have love for them in terms of friendship. I truly still care about them even after all these years that I haven't talked to them. That's why I cant get them out of my mind. The only thing I can do is get in contact with them and apologize to them for being a douchebag and see where all of this goes.
>>
Caroline Trotwell - Wed, 02 Jan 2019 11:28:27 EST ID:THNi/hHd No.528480 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527170
hey, what matters is you survived it. If you'd shown hurt maybe they'd have turned on you, that's what kids and teenagers are like. Most adults are not like that. Most adults will stop if you ask them to, but there are still assholes.

So rather than say that kid was "naive" think of that kid as someone who instinctively went along with the jokes in order to prevent it turning into full blown aggression. Is that the only way to deal with teens being dicks? No, but it's a damn good way and you are still here
>>
Emma Hegglewack - Wed, 02 Jan 2019 13:11:19 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.528481 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528466

I think this is a good idea.

Just don’t get your hopes up. For tons of reasons, people don’t hold on to - or at least rekindle - old friendships often. That sentimental feeling you’ve got, may not be shared. It’s only really because you didn’t get provided replacements that you particularly carry them so close now.

Play it cool g. If you run back in too hard, youll set yourself up. The more casual you are about things, the better the likelihood of it being well received. 200 words > 2000 words.
>>
George Blackhood - Fri, 04 Jan 2019 09:40:32 EST ID:PMiKxfAC No.528506 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528481
Yeah thanks for the advice. I'm going to hold off getting in contact with them until I'm done getting my GED and going to college to pursue getting my degree in physical therapy. I want them to see that I've changed into a much better person and have them see that I'm doing something with myself and working on myself as I bust my ass turning my life around. They will see that I'm not the same person anymore as they see me as at the moment. When I'm ready to talk to them again and hash everything out, I know they'll see and know that I'm a totally different person from who i was 5 years ago. It's only a matter of time before I reach out to them.


Why haven’t you killed yourself? by Rebecca Smallshit - Wed, 02 Jan 2019 17:12:23 EST ID:wg/43xhN No.528483 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1546467143884.jpg -(436375B / 426.15KB, 1658x1894) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 436375
Some of us are suffering and want to do it, but why not?

I don’t want to hurt my family
I don’t want to be another statistic
I’m too pussy to do it because it isn’t painless

There’s some my reasons even though I want to die.

It feels like a prison. I only tried when super wasted on alcohol, but that fucks you up because you’re too drunk to do a proper job or get lucky.

What are your reasons for not doing it?
>>
Betsy Dannerfoot - Wed, 02 Jan 2019 18:51:17 EST ID:U5Yrox1s No.528485 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You only get one shit sandwich and then it's over, so savour the poop nugs my brother.
>>
Walter Hondledock - Wed, 02 Jan 2019 19:04:56 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.528486 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528485

As the Great and Enlightened Alan Watts said “we are merely worms in another man’s poop, so wriggle, be at one with that groovy feeling of knowing that everything which surrounds is shit and that, is exactly where you be. So dance worm, dance”
>>
Reuben Bagglespear - Wed, 02 Jan 2019 20:01:16 EST ID:jnas4L6T No.528487 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I just think about it like that one passage from Cat's Cradle. Like we are just a bunch of fucking mud, and everything around us is mud, but we are some of the mud that got to sit up and look around and go "neat" before we lie back down to be mud again. I mean you were unborn forever and you will be dead forever so might as well just deal with life while ur alive and go "neat" at neat stuff sometimes.
>>
Eliza Hommerwater - Thu, 03 Jan 2019 06:57:40 EST ID:c/uAObnR No.528490 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Trust me OP, after being revived from my last attempt, I truly realized I was making the worst mistake to solve my problems. Not in that cliche “permanent to temporary solution yada yada.” I truly realized that I would never attain any of the things I wanted in life either. My loss of interest in everything was more me convincing myself I will never attain happiness or accomplish anything anyway, there isn’t a point.
I wasn’t unsure I wanted to die at the time, and when I was revived and regained consciousness in an ambulance, I felt angry and embarrassed on top of just straight shit due to no oxygen for a few minutes, but nothing more. However, when I got the the ER and they had me sitting in a bed with someone watching me, I started feeling relieved after thinking about that night for the 1,000th time. I got help, and found a lifestyle that works well for me and keeps me genuinely happy and whole.
The effort to be happy is worth it.
Only advice I have is don’t give in. Keep making changes and trying. I’m not goiing to blow smoke up your ass and say it’s easy and happens over night. But neither does a real decision to kill yourself.
>>
Thomas Gullerstock - Thu, 03 Jan 2019 09:41:05 EST ID:PMiKxfAC No.528494 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I attempted suicide after my grandfather died 6 years ago. I took a fuck ton of sleeping pills and fell asleep. But, thank God I woke up the next day. I didn't die for a reason and it took me 6 years to figure out why I didn't pass on. It's because I was meant to LIVE for a reason. We all have a destiny in the living world and I'm starting to figure out why I didn't die that night. I don't know the exact reason at the moment. But, I'm starting to see where my life is headed since I committed myself to turning my life around and putting in the work to do so and this reason is starting to show itself to me in my mind and in my daily life. I think I was put on this earth to help people transform their lives into something they never thought they could ever achieve. But, I have to get my life back on track before I can help others which is what I'm doing right now and transform my own life through hard work... turn my life into a great life that I thought was never achievable for me. But, I'm starting to see that I have great potential to be a great person and have the life that I always wanted.

Don't give up on yourselves so easily. You all are on this planet and ALIVE for a reason. We all have one life to live. So, make your life the best life you can live.


A problem by Bruno - Wed, 19 Dec 2018 23:19:27 EST ID:AnKTZjom No.528240 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1545279567214.png -(12926B / 12.62KB, 96x96) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 12926
So I stumbled onto some sensitive information, and now I'm being watched. People will believe the NSA is watching people and doing whatever the want with surveillance, but no one will ever believe an individual claiming to be watched.

I personally believe what they're doing is wrong, but threats have been made on my life. Should I stop talking about it and just wonder what they're doing for the rest of my life, or talk about them and be a whistleblower.

Would you rather the truth got out or be shot? Honestly I don't know. I'm kinda depressed.

You will not believe this.
6 posts and 1 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>
Sidney Bunshit - Thu, 20 Dec 2018 18:43:52 EST ID:oGhTgflo No.528270 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528266
>I'm pretty sure I keep hearing alternative messages through the radio as well
I don't believe this is real. I mean your post. You're just trying to check the boxes.

No wait. I'm the man. Because the man gives a fuck about what shithead stoner who lurks on 420chan does.

How would a journalist tell the government about dodgy FOIs? If it's going to compromise data surely the people you requested it with would flag it with their superiors? Or they'd just refuse because you are allowed to refuse FOIs on the ground of confidential data (for example people's personal data). If your FOI requests were incriminating it'd not touch the sides. The fact you're creating links where there aren't any and hearing special encrypted radio messages.

https://ico.org.uk/for-organisations/guide-to-freedom-of-information/refusing-a-request/

Your story makes no sense because if it was real it would play out differently. They'd just deny your requests. If they thought you were a continued threat they could fabricate reasons to arrest you destroy your evidence "By accident" or just detain you on false charges and be done with it. People don't get stalked like this because none of what you said makes sense. There are much easier, safer and more cost effective ways to shut people up. And they use them.

Look. Here's the shit they actually do.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/dec/10/activists-convicted-of-terror-offence-for-blocking-stansted-deportation-flight
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
Edward Puvingspear - Fri, 21 Dec 2018 01:02:17 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.528273 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528270

I was just having fun mixing together old psychotic episode memories of mine.

Chill out buddy guy friend.
>>
Edwin Blatherhall - Fri, 21 Dec 2018 01:14:16 EST ID:3A/9rSkO No.528274 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528261
The future immigrants don't need drugs to trip balls, it's their default state of mind. Personally, I'm jealous.
>>
mr bigglewoe - Tue, 01 Jan 2019 14:32:59 EST ID:bX3FxiFV No.528460 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528240
sensitive infromation is somthing that could have sense.
>>
Nell Hecklefoot - Thu, 03 Jan 2019 07:25:16 EST ID:THNi/hHd No.528491 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528240
Tell a therapist the secret and then they can give you advice on what to do, they are legally bound by confidentiality laws


Hardcore anxiety by John Duckfuck - Thu, 30 Aug 2018 23:49:38 EST ID:CcPG4XyJ No.526455 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1535687378954.jpg -(10890B / 10.63KB, 259x194) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 10890
My mental health has been rapidly deteriorating. I haven't always been like this.

I went to an urgent care center because my anxiety and panic has been really extreme lately and it's ruining my life. Interrupting work and college and everything else too. And you know what? I was too anxious in the waiting room and they said the wait would be 30+ minutes. I couldn't deal with it for that long so I had to leave.

I am literally too anxious to get help for anxiety.
1 posts and 1 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>
Graham Murdfoot - Sat, 01 Sep 2018 15:14:37 EST ID:wqTbbGgb No.526485 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP here. I contacted people at my university. They pay lip service to mental health issues, but when push comes to shove, they don't really do much. One person I reached out to said this time is tough for all students (at the beginning of the semester). Another person sent me a PDF about anxiety, which wasn't helpful. Also sent me a link to a suicide hotline. I don't know what I was expecting, but this certainly isn't helpful.

Someone referred me to a therapy place that does sliding scale payments, so if you make less money, they charge you less per session. I went there for an initial consultation. It was still more expensive than they said it would be and they spent so much of the time just talking about money and payments. They also mentioned medication and said that place in particular doesn't do benzos for anxiety. And my next appointment won't be for almost two weeks, and even then, it's just going to be a continuation of the initial intake/evaluation. It seems like they're trying to spread it really thinly to make it take a long time to suck more money out of me.

So far, everything I've looked into has been disappointing. It seems like a lot of mental health "treatment" is just predatory cash grab bullshit.

>>526459
Urgent care places are for walk-ins. They don't do appointments. They do, however, take out of pocket payments ($200+ per visit). But the last time I tried to make a regular doctor's appointment, they didn't get back to me, presumably because I don't have insurance. I said I'd pay out of pocket but I guess they rejected me anyway.
>>
lusfite - Tue, 01 Jan 2019 17:19:12 EST ID:bX3FxiFV No.528463 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>526455
if you really want to prove your having issuse they need to see that your cycling yourself into these panic attacks. everyone has some form of movement in there body its the way our atoms move man.. this is why they have been trying to cut down on benzo's.
>>
Caroline Pattingdadging - Tue, 01 Jan 2019 22:08:16 EST ID:qBWVvYi9 No.528467 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>526485
>It seems like they're trying to spread it really thinly to make it take a long time to suck more money out of me.

No, it's so they can make sure you're not a junkie fuckstick who is doctor shopping for a benzo script.
>>
Caroline Trotwell - Wed, 02 Jan 2019 08:57:44 EST ID:THNi/hHd No.528477 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>526485
hey there's a free udemy CBT course about panic attacks, even if you don't have panic attacks it will work because it helps with anxiety. "cbt4panic" is the course code
there's also lots of cbt books about anxiety, for now all you need to do is reduce it enough so that you can handle that half hour in the waiting room of the therapist. I like David M. Burns but whatever cheap CBT book you can get on anxiety should help so long as the person is qualified (the guy who does the udemy course isn't the most highly qualified in the world but he is qualified enough, and it's free)

anixety and depression are the two most common mental health ailments, there is more help for you out there than if you had any other mental health issue, you wll get through this, one bit at a time.


and i know it's lame as fuck but it helps for most people, take a slow breath in, and breathe out for twice the time. I'm not saying this is a cure but every tiny bit helps. Some say breathe in for 4 out for 8, you do whatever is comfortable for you
>>
John Mullerman - Thu, 03 Jan 2019 08:08:10 EST ID:3A/9rSkO No.528492 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528467
Truly, this is how medical coverage should be dolled out. Americans are the most pathetic people on the planet as per usual.


Addict needs help by Albert Gallyperk - Tue, 18 Sep 2018 09:43:04 EST ID:qckAEq2l No.526704 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1537278184776.jpg -(601796B / 587.69KB, 2576x1932) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 601796
My name is James, and I'm an addict of uppers in all forms. Please hear me out and help me if you can.
I've finally come face to face with the ugly head of my addiction. For years, I have used drugs to augment my reality and propel me forward within my own world of my own rules. Within this realm of mine, my own ambitions and personal sense of meaning embedded daily life with hopeful significance, which is part and parcel of the overarching problem posed by addiction. Life must feel bounteous and poignant, at least consistently enough so as to connect dots of eventfulness into lines of illustration. As the illustrator in my own life, I need memories, like dots, to generate a panoramic overview, a final image that determines how sensible and reasonable things are. I was never the type to partake in uppers simply for the joy of feeling them, or at least that was a distinction within my own narrative. I used them to accomplish goals and power through intellectually challenging work of some sort or another. I used speed as a channel through which hours of satisfaction could be dropped into a mundane afternoon with the indiscriminate coverage of a carpet bomb. Adderall insisted upon the carryout of grandiose reflections, totally and transparently confiding in people whom I would otherwise not have engaged so boldly. Adderall pills seemed to offer a hot fix for longstanding mental and behavioral disorders, so I used them to fuel my personality for parties and social situations, successfully exploiting peers with finesse and charm that lied dormant within me, or so it seemed. I used all forms of ADHD medications to self-medicate my undesirable traits and disorderly attention span. Most of all, my sense of worldly belonging and inner passion was stoked like a flame. To me, metaphors are invaluable as a tool to convey my own philosophical musings, and as a tool to communicate my otherwise vague or abstract summation of personal intent for the future. I have always chosen to describe my excitement about life as my flame because its potent in every sense. Visually hypnotizing, fire moves with wispy thrashing akin to dancing, which is composed of artful and graceful movements. Life, too, can be viewed as a big dan…
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
Jarvis Drarrystock - Tue, 18 Sep 2018 12:38:21 EST ID:vYe3Po+d No.526708 Ignore Report Quick Reply
lol what even...
>>
Albert Gallyperk - Tue, 18 Sep 2018 15:01:07 EST ID:qckAEq2l No.526711 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Sorry everybody, I got really high last night and typed up this travesty but I don't know how to delete the thread. Help please
>>
Hugh Furryhood - Tue, 18 Sep 2018 15:09:48 EST ID:BgYDrKs0 No.526712 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>526711
maybe you should relax because it was a good post
https://www.greekmythology.com/Myths/Mortals/Icarus/icarus.html
>>
Caroline Ponningworth - Thu, 20 Sep 2018 15:00:44 EST ID:X8zGpztz No.526738 Ignore Report Quick Reply
1537470044034.jpg -(1493786B / 1.42MB, 4032x3024) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Same.
>>
mr bigglewoe - Tue, 01 Jan 2019 18:52:53 EST ID:bX3FxiFV No.528465 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>526704
bro you are the moon confidant.


the pain by Eliza Fibberham - Sat, 15 Sep 2018 05:24:37 EST ID:BgYDrKs0 No.526681 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1537003477516.png -(903672B / 882.49KB, 664x882) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 903672
what do you do when you act like a child in front of people? how do i make the pain stop it hurts robots. the shame is unbearable what do i do
2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>
Martha Clullerlock - Sun, 16 Sep 2018 05:07:29 EST ID:BgYDrKs0 No.526690 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>526689
lol i appreciate the post. i'm tired as fuck too right now. it activated emotional wounding from my childhood. the emotional pain was the worst i felt in years
>>
Emma Bunham - Mon, 17 Sep 2018 01:15:03 EST ID:jfR0c7UU No.526698 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>526690
I hear ya. Bad shit from your developmental years can be incredibly tough. I often think to myself that looking back doesn’t let me see forward. So basically, focusing on the past and negative feelings, can prevent you from pursuing your goals.
Try spending time doing things you like, even if you have to force yourself. Tends to help me calm down when things get bad.
I hope things get better for you, I truly do. Good luck out there!
>>
Angus Cricklestug - Fri, 21 Sep 2018 15:11:21 EST ID:4f+C05Zm No.526753 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>526688
God if it were that simple. Just find friends who accept you. Just do X and you're good. Honestly fuck getting advice, no one ever says other than dumb stuff like this.
>>
Nigel Clunningson - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 14:25:48 EST ID:U5HeAx3l No.526775 Ignore Report Quick Reply
don't try to define yourself to yourself. just enjoy the pieces of life as they come to you. if you learn to relax and not fear hiding yourself, and don't let yourself be envious of others seeming advantages, then you'll grow however you want more naturally. be comfortable with what others see in you, let go of paranoia.
>>
mr bigglewoe - Tue, 01 Jan 2019 18:17:42 EST ID:bX3FxiFV No.528464 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>526681
lul you mad? peps let tech confuse them?


Major depression and self destruction? by Molly Hollerson - Mon, 06 Aug 2018 16:42:19 EST ID:h5guVZBz No.525955 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1533588139023.jpg -(104735B / 102.28KB, 612x612) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 104735
>Background:
>professionals notice depression in me during infancy
>diagnosed with MDD and ADHD in grade 1
>prescribed a litany of different meds over the years before something actually sorta 'worked'
>still got institutionalized briefly for suicide attempt
>been smokin', poppin' prozac, drinkin', workin' and drifting through life ever since.
>23 years old. College student. Stage technician.

For a long time, all I felt was listlessness and numbness...now its been replaced with rage and hunger. I'm furious. I want my youth back. I want somebody or something to pay for me having lived this way. If I can't be given what I want, I'm just gonna fucking take it, fuck your feelings. These thoughts still are horrifying, I feel like I've turned into a monster or I'm possessed by money and sex and the only friends I can depend on are my cock and balls. My humanity has been eroded. It's like personality, intelligence, thought, and order have ceased to matter. Those things are massive frauds, means to an end..or accidents of evolution. The only things that matter are fucking, power, and taking everything that ain't nailed down and hoarding it in your little cave. Having a kid feels so narcissistic these days...why would I want to pass this curse on, and have someone else go through what I'm going through? I do blame my parents for me being here. They only had me to vicariously live through my 'achievements' and compensate for their own failures and wasted youths. Now that I'm older and I ain't the guy they wanted me to be, they don't love me anymore. On top of this...I still feel suicidal...just in a different way...more like I'm trying to induce my demise with a bad lifestyle. I smoke cigars every day. I argue with people and generally bring the tension I carry everywhere I go. I do dangerous work. I just want somebody to get fed up and bash my brains in with a lead pipe; and just put me out of my misery for good, because shamefully, I am too big a pussy to do it myself. Except when I'm in a fight, adrenaline kicks in and I do everything I can to survive. On top of that, im constantly chasing that next big &…
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
Eugene Nunninghood - Mon, 06 Aug 2018 18:26:42 EST ID:9QXVx2Nf No.525959 Ignore Report Quick Reply
honestly for some people that is what life consists of. doing what little makes you happy. take advantage of your tenacious attitude and use it for 'good' as in bettering yourself. you say you chase money and such, well get rich as fuck. life is just a dumb RPG game and you gotta level up in whatever field makes you happy.

for some people its being outdoors and care-free, for others its becoming extremely wealthy and gaining power. we're all just winging it and trying to figure it out. I can relate to you quite well, I have the insane burning desire to gain wealth and acquire as much material shit along the way. my childhood was stripped away from me and I have no sustenance in my life anymore, so like you, pussy money and drugs are the only thing that keep me sane.

so, just do you until things change if they ever do. it cant hurt to get a professional opinion, but you're teetering the line between morals and ethics, not necessarily right and wrong. do you enjoy what you're doing? do you want to change it? if the former, keep on it and dont harm others. if the latter, seek help and try to find a deeper meaning.

you can help other kids who were in similar shoes as you from growing up the same, kind of be there hero and change lives of people who have similar upbringings.

but if you ask me, it isn't healthy what you're doing. but if you enjoy it who's to judge. im the same way. i total degenerate drug addict whos only enjoyment in life is gaining power and wealth over people. so I sell money like a loan shark. maybe get your series 7 and be a stock broker? you can use your tenacity for good (at least for yourself) so take advantage of that as it is not a common quality in humans. whether the world thinks irs right or wrong is arbitrary and really should be taken with a grain of salt. you only have one chance on this fuckin earth, make the best of it bud. just dont harm the lives of others.
>>
Angus Pickstone - Mon, 06 Aug 2018 18:32:18 EST ID:Om/gGBzM No.525960 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>525955
None of your options seem correct to me. You are currently wretched however. Without hope and living an empty worthless life because you can't imagine anything better as being possible. It's ironic because you feel life owes you things and want to take them, but you don't think it will give them. Your short termism and skewed values (okay maybe you do need more therapy too) will help you ensure your life sucks though if you continue living like this.

I lost a lot of my life to shit because no one would help me even when I reached out for it. Eventually I got a break. But when you get it look forward not back. Do what you want but think about your future and not just your past. Stop thinking about what SHOULD and what you feel you're owed, even while you talk like you're ashamed you seem to be driven by the need to make up, to match expectations to have the things you feel life is supposed to give you.

That's over. It's done. You've got 50-70 years and the ability to actually make something with them. Start thinking about making the future good. Your terrible past makes it feel like long term planning is futile I imagine. But it's not. Shit does happen, shit does go wrong but when it does the key is to recover quickly and efficiently and start building not just "enough" but more. Don't neglect the present entirely but if you make some effort to improve your lot you will find that even by the medium term your day to day existence is better than if you just do what's best for today and today only.

Being an adult is simply accepting that maybe you didn't put you here, but just taking as much steer as you can.
>>
mr bigglewoe - Tue, 01 Jan 2019 15:11:14 EST ID:bX3FxiFV No.528462 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>525955
"nut" ,"high", or paycheck
bro its not the way its all one sin, you know what kind of turf that is? its a moss what kind playing field? you feel me?


Sanity and Burden by Jarvis Dartfoot - Wed, 24 Oct 2018 06:48:52 EST ID:RdCdZ/5c No.527415 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1540378132178.jpg -(38752B / 37.84KB, 522x810) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 38752
Anyone else here feel like they're losing their grip on sanity? I've had about 6 psychotic breakdowns because I was a shameless psychonaut and even though I still feel like it did more good than harm to me it obviously has taken its toll on my mental health (only 3 of those psychotic breakdowns were because of psychedelics fyi). Although it's not officially diagnosed since I'm doped up from antipsychotics, my shrink suspects it being schizoaffective disorder and I can't go under MRI because I have migraine and a family history of embolism. Now getting haldol shots every months, I got used to. I'm content with being a doped up plant because next breakdown won't be so easy. But honestly this ain't the problem because this last couple months have just been absolutely miserable and I could think of nothing but killing myself and honestly, after doing nothing but improving myself and being a better person overall for 2 years, this last year, I don't think I really have the balls to get better. I'm lethargic. I know I can do it but I just don't want to. I would be balls deep on heroin again if I had the chance too, but thank god it's completely out of my reach. Slightest glimpse of hope I have is basically change of scenery because I dropped out of Uni this year and will be applying for art school in an another country (Canada lel) and not because I want to pursue a career in art but I just want to get out of here and since I'm talented in art, I think this might be my ticket out of here. Not that I don't like where I live (even though any sane person would absolutely fucking hate it here) and but I just hate my ties here. I want to get away from people.

I'm a solitary guy so I know how retarded it sounds but I think it's more about space. I can cut my ties here (at least to people) right now and still live here but I don't want them to think that I'm abandoning them on purpose (even though that's what I'm doing). I mean I hate my mother, but I don't want her to realize that I don't like her because I feel like I have a responsibility towards her. And I probably do all things considered. I don't hate her because she abused…
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
4 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>
Lillian Gallerfit - Sun, 04 Nov 2018 09:04:13 EST ID:PMiKxfAC No.527593 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Apparently my brother is moving out because me and my mother are causing him problems. Well, hes the one who's stealing my mom's painkillers and getting fucked up. Hes telling me I need help? LOL that fat fucking slob needs to go into rehab for his drug addiction. Hes out of control with that shit. I'm fed up with his shit talking when I've been the one that let him use my fucking shit to use, my computer for his business. Hes a fucking miserable piece of shit and he needs to leave. I will make sure that I get it back too and also I will tell him exactly how I feel about him and the fucked up physical abuse I went through because of him. Hes a straight up waste of life and a total loser.
>>
Lillian Gallerfit - Sun, 04 Nov 2018 09:57:36 EST ID:PMiKxfAC No.527598 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527593
Also, he runs his mouth quite a bit which is why he almost got his head blown off point blank by someone who was fed up with his bullshit trash talking. He did the same thing to someone who was letting him sell his supply of opiates and threatened to kill his family because my brother went and took every opiate he had to sell from this dude and couldn't make up for the lost money. So, this guy came to our house twice looking for my brother because of the threats he was making to this guy. Bottomline, he should've gotten the fuck beat out of him which he almost did, if not worse. I'm so sick of this cocksucker telling me what I'm going to do. Fuck this 300lb+ fat slob piece of shit.
>>
Thomas Wumblebury - Sun, 04 Nov 2018 19:01:02 EST ID:9MjKk5zz No.527602 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If you're sick of being a haldol vegetable, ask your doctor for clozapine. It will let you keep more of your cognitive functions.
>>
Samuel Goodhall - Tue, 06 Nov 2018 13:55:49 EST ID:awW8B2Hc No.527634 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527602
Wouldn't that just make me more veggie?
>>
mr bigglewoe - Tue, 01 Jan 2019 14:27:12 EST ID:bX3FxiFV No.528459 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>527415
i know i guy that was from the millitery he only had one thing, a tai stick.


I miss her. by Archie Wocklewater - Fri, 21 Dec 2018 06:44:04 EST ID:LnPbXz1S No.528277 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1545392644805.jpg -(5422410B / 5.17MB, 4032x3024) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 5422410
It's been over a year since my X and I split. It hit me so hard that I moved to the other side of the states to never bump into her and to try and forget.

But I still have no choice but to think of her every day. Occasionally I'll sneak a peek at her fb to see if she posted anything...she never does.

I just hope she is happier now. I would feel so much better about my day to day robot mode that I've put myself into to fight back the feeling of loss with every memory of her brought on by any little thing.

6years was a long time. She was my other half and I would have done anything to make her happy but I never really could.
I dont even try and message her now...the other day was my birthday and I wanted more than anything to get a message from her so we could catch up. I dont message her because I dont want to risk bugging her.

I know she has a lot better chance to live a better life without me around. I hope she has it to.

Jess, wherever you are and whatever your doing with your life. Please be happy.
>>
Cedric Haddleford - Fri, 21 Dec 2018 06:56:06 EST ID:VlVoC+Xo No.528279 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Jess here-

I am happy you can move on now
>>
Edward Puvingspear - Fri, 21 Dec 2018 06:58:43 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.528280 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528277

Invest in yourself.
Do some new shit.
Get on tinder when ready.
Have a series of random interactions until something works.

You will inevitably experience that “the one” is a temporary and relative job title.

Sorry you been going through this dude. For what it’s worth, you’ve at least conducted yourself with enough dignity to not bother her. You are right in doing that.
>>
Edwin Crarryshaw - Fri, 21 Dec 2018 08:50:27 EST ID:rfAl7IY1 No.528284 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528280

Pretty much this.

Don't check her FB. Starve yourself off it. Do what you have to do to forget - you need to. Otherwise she'll always be in there, digging through your head. If you can't even be friends, then you have no business doing this to yourself.

Put yourself in situations and places where you can explore and find new people. Live your life and move on.
>>
mr bigglewoe - Tue, 01 Jan 2019 13:49:51 EST ID:bX3FxiFV No.528458 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>528277
sounds like she wanted be a harlot so mother fuckering bad she broke. purts of mania consumed her dood!


<<Last Pages Next>>
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
Report Post
Reason
Note
Please be descriptive with report notes,
this helps staff resolve issues quicker.