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attempt number 2 by Molly Cupperstidge - Sat, 22 Dec 2018 17:24:10 EST ID:UIEZ/mgw No.528316 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I hit a new low recently and Im trying to set up another try to put an end to this. Ive been stuck in a constant spiral of depression for the last 5 years and this year I tried to kill myself (heroin/fentanyl OD). no one ever found out though thank fuck. my family seemed like they wanted to help but I never got any and just got worse since moving enviroments. just today I got accused of being a drug addict again (they think Im on drugs when I have spurts of mania) when I legitimately am not. and it just sounds like Im in denial to them when I try to explain its mental issues not drugs but nobody listens to me. Ive said this for years and theyve convinced themselves its the drugs despite me taking a multitude of drug tests recently and passing. when I was actually on drugs (was on opi's for years) they think Im sober. even if I fucking wanted drugs I couldnt get them since I have no job or money left. I have just enough money to buy another dose into sleepyland.

Im only here out of sheer luck as the dose I did was monsterous and ended up with ocular, nerve, and weird hearing damage from the attempt. prob shouldve lost my legs as they were str8 up noodles when I woke up. Im scared of waking up as a veggie if I attempt it again. Ive tried so many things to try and get better from doing certain drugs to doing none at all, from excercise to counseling. none of it improved my mental state. all my friends stopped talking to me and I cant even blame them since its just a burden and my sadness just radiates from me.

Im struggling to find reasons to live. its honestly came down to my cat and thats it but hes so old and decrepit that once he passes Ill be no holds barred. my brain feels broken ever since I had a TBI and Im a dysfuncftional member of society. I post here every now and then and each one has become darker and darker and lately Ive been feeling like this might just be the time. itll probably be a huge relief on my family as Ive just been a source of stress for them and no one cant financially help me anymore.

just wanted to vent and let you guys know I appreciate the efforts over the years. some people are just broken and Im one of them. I hope I dont have to make another post here.
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Ben Cartwright - Thu, 27 Dec 2018 01:53:58 EST ID:hBEhmcBg No.528368 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Well, I've been kinda half-assing it my whole life. I get sober, I get better, then I decide "hey I don't need this shit anymore" and I go back to drugs and shit goes out of control and badda-bim-bam-bom. Mostly I think it's because I'm still in the same environment and never learned how to get friends or do things without drugs, and it's easy to fall back when absolutely everyone does drugs around you +++ some traumatic events about witnessing a murder +++ some more bullshit.

Well, I got sober again three months ago after having a epiphany about my whole life, and that sent me down a huge rabbit hole of depression which I'm still kinda stuck in. So I started going to therapy, just talking about shit and stuff, and I learned a lot about myself and started making some pretty hardcore changes in my life. Which was awesome, and I learned to cut out things (people) from my life and started thinking about stuff. But it turns out I might have BPD or some sort of chronic depression linked with anxiety, so I'm going to hopefully be admitted within two-three weeks and really start making changes and get the tools to make shit stick, because I seemingly never do.

I've been sober three months now and recently started up therapy again, and it feels good. Last time I went to therapy they helped me stop eating rivotril like candy, and I haven't touched benzos in years, right now the issue is just drinking, smoking and stims, heh. Or not really a problem, I can easily not to drugs anymore because I'm resolved, and they completely trashed my psyche, but I need to repair the damage if you catch my drift, and get the FUCK away from here so I can start living the life I want to.

TL;DR: I'm sober, and I'm on the path to living a fulfilling life. It sure as hell ain't easy, and I'm just getting started, but I'm incredibly optimistic even if I'm still suicidal and get panic attacks at times.

I'm sorry that became a cluster fuck, I'm not really sure how to compress everything into text. But I'll be sure to post when I've started up again with.
Doris Blatherlock - Thu, 27 Dec 2018 13:05:10 EST ID:Pwq0Fy/H No.528372 Ignore Report Quick Reply
> hopefully be admitted within two-three weeks and really start making changes and get the tools to make shit stick, because I seemingly never do

That's what i'm really afraid of. It's hard for me to even go see someone its always the same shit over and over again. Plus all these fuckers recommend the regular group therapy bullshit and coming off benzos. Fuck that,
Ben Cartwright - Thu, 27 Dec 2018 14:16:04 EST ID:hBEhmcBg No.528375 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I can relate as hell dude, I never managed to stay put in one city because I always thought that if I only got to a new place shit would get better. So I went from doctor to doctor, to therapist to therapist. When they asked me to get sober I'd usually quit in an instant because what the fuck did they know.

That's why I'm hoping that I'll be admitted. So I won't have any other choice than consistency, and I know it'll be hard and I know I'll be mad and sad and that it'll feel like fucking SHIT. But it's either cleansing the wound with moonshine or let it infest and kill me.
Doris Blatherlock - Thu, 27 Dec 2018 16:56:10 EST ID:Pwq0Fy/H No.528378 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Some good points. I can also attest to moving around/backpacking. thinking that things would somehow improve after a change in scenery.

I'm getting closer and closer every year to getting the help I need and truthfully won't until my benzo's are gone. Its fucking scary man, I dldn't wanna lose my lifeline. The only thing that brings relative peace.

> I'm hoping that I'll be admitted. So I won't have any other choice than consistency, and I know it'll be hard and I know I'll be mad and sad and that it'll feel like fucking SHIT. But it's either cleansing the wound with moonshine or let it infest and kill me.

Good mindset man. Keep up the hard work. Once again, i'm the same way. Don't know if i'll ever be able to live a sober life.
mr bigglewoe - Tue, 01 Jan 2019 13:30:38 EST ID:bX3FxiFV No.528457 Ignore Report Quick Reply
look man its not about the duggies or clean people, its about the people in the gray not knowing what the're intentions are or do. i think if you really want a way out of these spirits of mania. you have to make your zen. its a dangous world man i would understand that some confuse control. see when you put this way the gray has its own scale. its fair to think its funny. just when it comes on dont think the polar of the emotions or blank.

subjectsubject by Hedda Blerrywork - Fri, 21 Dec 2018 16:58:28 EST ID:d7Z4A70C No.528295 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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which drugs should i stay away from as a schizo
and specifically are /psy/s safe for my condition
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Reuben Harringman - Sat, 22 Dec 2018 04:23:36 EST ID:rKFiNm2Q No.528303 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Psychedelics and stims are about the worst. Weed will fuck with you. No one who is actually sane does deliriants repeatedly anyway (and they will damage more than just the brain). Alcohol isn't awful but it'll still make things worse. On the whole your should stay sober. Sorry. The best high you can get safely is runner's high though.

Take the best care you can of your brain and you'll be less crazy your whole life as a result. Eat well, sleep well and exercise. It won't make a massive difference or cure you or anything but those things are always worth doing when they're an option.
Phineas Hezzlehetch - Sat, 22 Dec 2018 05:17:30 EST ID:3A/9rSkO No.528305 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Opiates are antipsychotic but if you get addicted to them and withdrawal you're fucked.
mr bigglewoe - Fri, 28 Dec 2018 19:40:12 EST ID:bX3FxiFV No.528382 Ignore Report Quick Reply
so meds in genral become like a cult to fall into, for if you dont pick a side the world will crash down on you. to make a defintion of what you are. they say bi polar "what you can due to take control.''
now that you understand that pills are for you. they want you to know yourself if you dont then your perfect for them.

so due to mk ultra they have been trying to break the door sort of speak. what do i mean by that? everyone has 3 evils that they should stay away from. rome didnt fall in a day. now in the days we have been trying to combat that with taking control of cults, think of it this way if you own a bad cult that looked good would you forsake it? there is aslo anti smoking meds that warp what psycho active really is. my wisdom is dont lie to your pyshc get it?
if you do plan to get into pys then create a schedule for it.
dont take synthic like lsd, go for mushrooms i know that the tolernce of shrooms is drastic, you cant take the same amount the next day becuase it takes 3 times the amount to get the same effect.
Jarvis Fallerstock - Mon, 31 Dec 2018 17:11:15 EST ID:5V56LgZg No.528446 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Basically all recreational drugs are out of the question for you. Anything with recreational value is potentially mentally addictive, and anything mentally addictive functions at least in part by an increased dopaminergic response in the midbrain (nucleus accumbens and substantia nigra).

Considering nearly all theories on schizophrenia involve either dopamine activity or glutamate activity (which is affected heavily by dopamine activity), taking anything recreational poses a real risk of inducing a psychotic episode in you. Sorry dude
Samuel Bluttingbury - Tue, 01 Jan 2019 08:10:19 EST ID:THNi/hHd No.528450 Ignore Report Quick Reply
just related to this image, they say optical illusions don't work on most people with schizophrenia. I was chatting with a friend once and it came up and she said "ha ha! yeah but they don't work on me either, so I don't think that means anything"... a year later she found out she had schizophrenia.

Also don't say schizo because now i don't know if you are schizo-affective or schizophrenic or schizotypal

I don't think any psychedelic , or even pot, is safe, but hopefully you'll find an answer.

A metaphor might be that that door is already open for you. For most people it's locked shut, and they get a kick out of looking through the keyhole, or at even opening it a crack, they can generally close it again (some times they can't and get stuck in permanent psychosis, even if they had nothing underlying). Your door is already open, you don't have a key to lock it, you don't want to open it even further

Maybe meditation, the mindfulness type is good for depression and concentration, but you could do the type where you fly instead. Just sit and start with mindfulness, but picture your whole body getting lighter, part by part, until it is lighter than air and takes off

Getting cig cravings as a non-smoker by Beatrice Wublinggold - Mon, 03 Sep 2018 17:15:33 EST ID:EAInNdJP No.526522 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Going to sound like a real first world problem here, but lately I've been craving buying a pack and lighting one up at night. No idea why. I fully acknowledge that I'll regret it because the smoke will make clothes stink like shit and give me a dizzy nauseous head buzz, but I can't shake this weird craving to just light a cig and smoke it.

How do I reconcile this weird novelty type craving? I don't consume any tobacco products.
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mr bigglewoe - Fri, 28 Dec 2018 20:19:27 EST ID:bX3FxiFV No.528383 Ignore Report Quick Reply
if you want to deacciate yourself with the after affect when you feel a craving put it somwhere else ex peppermint shampoo. i will be the 1st to tell you that its running for the most addictive thing out there. its best to think of this as a matrix. ya dig?
Shit Fanstock - Fri, 28 Dec 2018 20:39:15 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.528384 Ignore Report Quick Reply

But what if my code has been infected with a nasty virus which makes me addicted to certain substances? How can I red pill myself into enlightened non addiction?
William Suggleford - Mon, 31 Dec 2018 14:15:18 EST ID:Qk6d+IRR No.528440 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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As a non ketamine and cough syrup user i get real bad craving for them. AM i listening to too much vapourwave?

Ciggies though ive thought about buying to barter with bums but feel like thats too much of a life cheat code. Only time i heard people happy about smoking cigs was as a teeny bopper
Samuel Fuddleridge - Mon, 31 Dec 2018 14:17:48 EST ID:soGBB74q No.528441 Ignore Report Quick Reply

What would you barter with homeless people ? Goods or services?

I agree it’s a great currency for the homeless, I used to carry tobacco just to give to them. I should consider doing that again. I don’t like giving them money but at least it’s a few smokes on me.
Jarvis Fallerstock - Mon, 31 Dec 2018 16:50:45 EST ID:5V56LgZg No.528442 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Despite the desire being specific, I find that all desires that I have similar to this (including other drugs or activities) are more a manifestation of a desire for immediate gratification of some kind.

The desire for immediate gratification itself seems to stem from lacking a sense of real purpose or fulfillment, and that desire is simply expressing itself more noticeably. At least, that's been the case for me.

Try developing some skills or doing something meaningful and the desire to light up a cig when you don't even smoke will probably go away until the fulfillment and meaning you get from doing whatever you do fade away.

I think... by Jarvis Duckcocke - Sun, 09 Dec 2018 00:13:19 EST ID:EDcy2Khy No.528034 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I have some issues with self esteem. I kind of need a thread to vent and just write shit out i guess. Im trying to work on it, have been looking into self help recently. I am trying commit to meditation but its not the easiest.
Like right now i was wondering why i feel this need to be part of a big social group when actually i dont want to be part of it. Why do i feel such a need to be included? I am just trying to be conscious of my emotions and feelings. I feel like i have everything i need to be happy at the moment but still i am not enjoying it and i feel lonely as hell. I have plenty of people around me but they are boring as hell to me for some reason and just tiring to be around. I dont really want to give too much detail of what im doing and where i am but its basically its shared accommodation for work and im living with a big group of twenty somethings. Theres next to no privacy and i feel like ive built up this wall around me to not let anything in, but actually i barely know my inner self. I feel like ive been distracting myself with shit. Boring stuff like shit video games, youtube, masturbation, chan sites, weed, porn. Sometimes i like it but right now it also seems that im forced to be with myself and i hate it. I guess accepting yourself without judgement is the best way forward.
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mr bigglewoe - Sun, 30 Dec 2018 14:01:02 EST ID:bX3FxiFV No.528427 Ignore Report Quick Reply
its like where did all the catch lines for love go? being cohesive in the sense of confinements is how true love cycles. so when you think about self esteem its not about waiting for a fucking person to help you its about being the moment. bro the spirit of love is alivel. what to do when you feeling somone too much you. just like hate man it has to live man. herses the thing with greed. its stuck in bewtween love and hate call a fine median for it we've been destorying the foundation of the dollar. with that we all know the balance of the love that we pass if fucked becuase of this whole what can we do to make the most factions tell the wonder is all the same and they all rewrite stupid revalations but knowing that the love needs to be rewritten. to let love back out of the cage, wonder for the love of the other tell you cant then step ins. if love is really dying out... so the self worth of yourself equals out to hopefully others in the same love type scenario.
Fuck Pillermut - Sun, 30 Dec 2018 18:14:31 EST ID:PL1YtLkw No.528429 Ignore Report Quick Reply
im a liberal man. the amount of religious retards and nutcases on the right far outnumber the amount of dumbass pretentious entitled SJW college age fucks on the left. i guess you could say im somewhat libertarian leaning too.

also, what does the date being prior to 2012 matter? the trend in demographics hasnt changed at all, and and when it comes to proving biased research is taking place, the quotes you shared from that article completely support everything that i said, im utterly confused how in the fuck you're thinking it's going against me instead.

also the reproducibility crisis still calls into question the validity of alot of the diagnoses out there. everything i provided a source for all corroborated my factual statements that liberals make up the majority of the social sciences community, and that there is a reproducibility crisis. it should naturally just follow that having a heavy majority of any one group of people with similar beliefs is going to lead to a shitload of bias and bogus results.

again, im fuckin baffled here how youre disagreeing with me after posting those quotes. the mind boggles, man
Fuck Pillermut - Sun, 30 Dec 2018 18:21:39 EST ID:PL1YtLkw No.528430 Ignore Report Quick Reply
honestly man i think you're just jumping down my throat at this point because you assumed i had an anti-liberal agenda despite me merely stating a fact about demographics. you're so frothing at the mouth ready to attack who i assume would be anybody that might be conservative or that might possibly otherwise have an anti-liberal agenda that all it took was MENTIONING college, the academic climate, and the fact that liberals make up a majority of those in social psychology for you to go on a tirade about how ive got an anti-liberal agenda.

there was no reason for you to assume, based off of what i said, including what was in the word salad, that i am conservative or against liberals or at least liberals in academia. who hurt you man? what's the point in doing that?
Lillian Grandwater - Sun, 30 Dec 2018 19:32:21 EST ID:mx+fWI/7 No.528432 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>I'm a liberal man
ppffft. Who cares?

I'll break it down logically.

A: There's many liberals in psychology: True. Societal issues particularly concerning race, gender, power, inequality, and environmentalism all fall in the tenure of the left and it's natural psychologists will fall under this bracket, particularly concerning the recent political shift in the rights anti-intellectualism and faith based leanings.

B: There's a replication crisis: True. Note how I never actually disagreed with you on that? But social research is not the same as your average psychologist on the streets and this does not affect how effective your psychologist is with dealing with your own mental problems (there's no evidence of this, or at least no research in how the current standing of replication crisis affects this)

Here's where we disagree. You claim B --> A.You're trying very hard to frame psychology as a liberal academia and debase it with the reproducibility crisis, which it appears from your angle that it's because of a liberal bias. But there's NO evidence of that. Nothing you've cited proved this. I still don't believe you've actually read any of the links you posted?

It's mind boggling that you don't understand that very scientific article you posted. You posted this:
Which was analysis of this
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Barnaby Wittingchat - Tue, 01 Jan 2019 01:40:46 EST ID:FXMTvWn8 No.528449 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>some studies are hard to reproduce therefore SCIENCE IS LE LIEONEONE1111

Funnily enough, this is the door to "there are no hard and fast truths" and "I choose my own beliefs to live by". Otherwise known as postmodernism.

desire and despair by Graham Greenforth - Sun, 30 Dec 2018 00:37:44 EST ID:dJEw/uJZ No.528411 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I feel strong desire sometimes. Desire to do what I want to do in life, desire to find a girl to love, desire to just move on and change my current situation. And despair because I have no hope that I can do any of it, no hope that I can change my life around for the better. I've been this way for years, just no ability to control my situation, just drifting. I feel like I'm not living my life the way other people are. I feel like I'm half day dreaming and just learning to make my way with no real control. What should I do to pass the time the next couple of years?
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Graham Greenforth - Sun, 30 Dec 2018 00:51:56 EST ID:dJEw/uJZ No.528415 Ignore Report Quick Reply
creating art, in any form. I'm trying a couple mediums and plan on trying more. Motivation is hard to find, the stars have to align for me to feel both motivated and creative.

I also want to have a girlfriend or I'd settle for a good best friend. I've been lonely for a while, have had some decent friends even a girlfriend but looking back there was NO enjoyment and, again, just feel like I drifted my way into it with no control and wasn't really what matched my desire/what I wanted.
Ben Cartwright - Sun, 30 Dec 2018 01:15:43 EST ID:hBEhmcBg No.528416 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Well, here is just me barfing out some ideas.

Art school (I don't mean like a college, just, you know, a school about art), drawing classes, saving up money to buy a book about drawing, spend time looking for artist that you enjoy and that gives you motivation and ideas, draw draw draw. When you're out drinking, take a pencil with you and draw on napkins, also when you're eating. Doodle all the fucking time, if you wanna succeed as an artist you have to breath that shit.

If you're really invested, save up money for a year, so you can take half a year off and just focus on art, for example. Creativity CAN be learned, motivation is harder. Is there anything in particular that motivates you?
Ben Cartwright - Sun, 30 Dec 2018 01:19:58 EST ID:hBEhmcBg No.528417 Ignore Report Quick Reply
As for loneliness, I don't know man. I have so many mental problems and problems with creating lasting social bonds I feel is fulfilling, that it would be pointless to take advice from me. But if you start going to art school or classes or whatever the fuck you'll bound to meet some cool people.
Jarvis Tootgold - Sun, 30 Dec 2018 05:10:52 EST ID:9ccgN+hz No.528418 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I got fucked after my first concussion psychologically and emotionally, and the second one just added to it, but I've pretty well made as good of a recovery as possible... but it's taken 12 years to get to this point, and I didn't start seeing any real progress or results until about 2 years ago. Honestly I had given up hope of ever getting better after the first 2 or 3 years.

That's the funny thing about hope though; it's not necessary for success whatsoever. For a good while I wallowed in self-pity over it, but eventually the ennui of living like that and the staleness of it never fuckin changing made me so sick of remaining that way (since I've always been against killing myself despite wanting to die because I know I'm gonna die either way and I can't pretend to know the future so I felt I might as well stick around no matter how miserable I felt or I suffered, because even though suffering sucks balls, there's nothing inherently wrong with hurting or having negative feelings/a bad time) that I decided to try to get better and improve no matter how fruitless my efforts were seemed to be.

After thinking about how shitty life was for me and thinking I'd be that way until I died, I realized I had never actually truly tried to get better. I thought the concussions and post concussive symptoms I've had ever since were something that couldn't be fixed or worked around because brain damage is brain damage, so I had just been floating along in my day to day life for the past several years. I was aimless; I had no motivation, goals, aspirations, and didn't care about literally anything ever... it felt as though I wasn't capable of it, I just couldn't. But when I asked myself entirely seriously and critically if I had ever even tried at all to improve, I knew the answer before even finishing the question... at least deep down inside. Before then I believed I'd been trying, but really I knew the whole time I hadn't been. Not even a little bit. I never tried at anything anymore at that point, ever, so how could I honestly try and tell myself that I'd been trying to get better?

Realizing that, I asked myself o…
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Jarvis Tootgold - Sun, 30 Dec 2018 05:39:04 EST ID:9ccgN+hz No.528419 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Also, let go of the perception that you're in control of just about anything in the world, period; accept that reality. You're capable of controlling only one thing even somewhat reliably, and that's how you choose to react to what happens to you. You can't help how you feel, but you can help how you let those feelings continue to affect how you feel, how you think, and how you see the world. Even then, we don't even have great control over that.

The belief that we're ever in control is laughable. It's the great cosmic joke. People like HP Lovecraft and various existential philosophers from the late 19th and early 20th century understood this. The universe at large and everything in it is indifferent to our existence. It's not that it doesn't care, it doesn't even recognize we're here. It's absurd for us to be treated as anything different or spearate from the rest of the whole of existence.

Think of it this way: how can any human being hope to control anything outside themselves when the forces and laws that give our universe and us ourselves structure, form, and substance all operate completely externally and without any required input from us? They simply are. We are only capable of manipulating matter and energy by utilizing these forces and laws. Minor and often ineffective manipulation of these is a far cry from possessing anything resembling real control of any kind. You can pull the strings, but the strings were already there for you to pull. It's paramount to realize and not to forget that when you pull those strings, those strings pull back on you.

So yeah, you can hold the tail, but understand that the universe is the one fuckin this monkey. Don't get that twisted my nigga

ayahuasca retreat by Lydia Simmlechot - Sat, 29 Dec 2018 04:12:22 EST ID:7wkGAAeS No.528388 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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anyone ever done an ayahuasca retreat, or something similar? i have a lot of problems with depression, bad memories, etc. and was thinking of doing one. but psychedelics scare the shit out of me tbh
Shit Fanstock - Sat, 29 Dec 2018 05:52:48 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.528390 Ignore Report Quick Reply

It’s a pretty committed thing to do. Even if I were to question to the legitimacy of the actual drug experience, I’d imagine that going out of your way to do such a “thing” like a trip to a retreat, surrounded by fellow peeps of the same nature would help.

Even if the drug was white I’m sure you’d get all sorts of placebo gains.
Clara Bullerwater - Sat, 29 Dec 2018 17:17:32 EST ID:wJWwXGAC No.528398 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Just start with a threshold dose of shrooms.
Cedric Pockdock - Sat, 29 Dec 2018 17:24:54 EST ID:iaFDsXUG No.528399 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I don't think it'd be the first thing to try, but maybe later if other things don't work?
I.e. have actually you tried working on it in other ways except just letting it brew until now?

Kinda like you'd be better off figuring out that maybe you shouldn't use your laptop in bed at night, instead of trying to get a prescription for sleep aid.

psychological help by Albert Tootstone - Mon, 12 Nov 2018 17:16:44 EST ID:LId6ukbM No.527707 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Having a consistent issue not sure what to do
>have habit of saying random thought outloud, good or bad
>mostly very bad things said
>no control whatsoever
>happens mostly when stressed, or thinking about an old event that happened(usually bad or embarrassing)

at first, it was light maybe once a day, now its at least every hour.

part of me thinks its a part of getting older, but its totally tearing into my quality of life.

on the light side, it wont happen if i am with a group of friends, maybe it happened once.

>stopped smoking weed about 1 year ago, thinking maybe im getting way too high all the time. no change/symptoms worse
>Isolationism setting in, i hardly talk to anyone anymore. starting to feel like everyone is out for their own interests.
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mr bigglewoe - Fri, 28 Dec 2018 19:10:44 EST ID:bX3FxiFV No.528381 Ignore Report Quick Reply
its easy to see your view. dont accociate yourself with a thrown focus, like its okay to get somones attention ex. waving at sombody thats not looking. its good in that aspect. you have to understand though the cults thats come through the gosipol and the 666 tend to bring people down. its becuase of the alien and god debate. its like there trying to warp their issues from tv to the drug war, personally i feel if they want to make it free they wait for people to show that thier is a break in the matrix get it? on the other hand i feel like its a total nessecity to take from people whom dont have a good memory, its like pulling somthing out for you that you need, this can become a cult problem due to not having a good understanding of what god is really about and what aliens are really about.

Tried to fix my life, I guess it kinda worked, still depressed by John Fingerbidge - Sat, 22 Dec 2018 12:11:24 EST ID:8dMsZfbT No.528311 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I need to vent
>4 years ago I was ready to kill myself, method prepared, goodbye letters written
>realized that my cat would never understand it, I'd just be gone one day
>had convinced myself that family and friends would either understand and forgive me or just hate me, but I couldnt bring myself to hurt my cat
>decided to try and fix my life
>quit uni, it wasnt going well and part of the reason I was depressed
>fell out with my parents over that and got thrown out at home
>broke up with my gf, as it was a very toxic relationship
>stopped doing drugs for the most part (now just a casual drinker and 1-2/year smoking weed)
>dropped some friends
>over the past 4 years I had a few jobs, got some certs done, so I dont have to deal with entrylevle minimum wage jobs

>got a decent job, I'm not gonna get rich or make a big career, but I wont have to worry about many things
>made some new friends, lost some, made others
>fixed the relationship with my parents and we're on very good terms nowadays, even better than before
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Hugh Sazzlebut - Mon, 24 Dec 2018 03:36:56 EST ID:qCbNVXVy No.528340 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I know this may sound incredibly tired and cliche, but I get where you're coming from, and among others, some of the things that helped me climb out of my self-loathing / empty depressive hole was finding things I genuinely enjoyed doing, finding a sense of purpose in life, networking with people with similar interests, and repairing my relationships with my parents (after I had taken responsibility and gotten my act together). The self-improvement advice of Dr. Jordan Peterson really helped me put things in perspective as well. I would highly recommend checking out some of his videos on youtube.

As far as your female "friend", both you and her are being disingenuous about the whole thing. It benefits her to keep you around as a source of attention, emotional validation, help, etc, but it causes you a tremendous amount of grief and frustration over not being able to make it a romantic relationship / interaction.

Augustus Ciblingpuck - Mon, 24 Dec 2018 10:53:18 EST ID:8dMsZfbT No.528341 Ignore Report Quick Reply
the post you replied to wasnt me the OP
anyways in regards to your post
I dont compare myself to others and my goal in life is to enjoy it and have a decent one.

Thats what I started back then.
I reevaluated where I am in life and how to get where I want to be, happy, content and satisfied

The status quo was:
>Drug addict
>in a shitty relationship (we both abused each other)
>wasting my days doing literally nothing at all.
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Albert Blythehood - Wed, 26 Dec 2018 12:22:04 EST ID:y45alxH0 No.528356 Ignore Report Quick Reply

So because of a incorrectly referenced reply number you ignored my comment?

Nice one. See previous.
Ian Sublingberk - Thu, 27 Dec 2018 18:46:35 EST ID:8dMsZfbT No.528379 Ignore Report Quick Reply
But I did reply to you in the very same post. I just wanted to point out, that the overly negative dude wasnt me.
Sophie Faggledick - Fri, 28 Dec 2018 15:13:46 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.528380 Ignore Report Quick Reply

My bad. I’ve ran out of steam on this one.

Truthfully dude, the answer is usually simple but in order to reach it you must first accept some hard truths. Without those truths, you simply can’t reach the conclusions necessary. It’s not the problem which is difficult, but rather than the objective acceptance of it.

That’s usually my problem, anyways. Go looking for the worst case scenario truth and then the best case. The truth, probably lies somewhere inbetween the two.

Idk though, sorry, I’m clogging up this place.

My point is that there are locked doors in my bank by Jack Gezzlepotch - Thu, 27 Dec 2018 13:19:54 EST ID:J+lXFNxa No.528374 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Every time I want to go and have money, there is a locked door, so I cannot have the money behind that door. What do I do? Won't somebody.
Ben Cartwright - Thu, 27 Dec 2018 14:20:30 EST ID:hBEhmcBg No.528376 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Somebody might, but I don't.

Crossroads by Marvin black - Sun, 16 Dec 2018 14:13:29 EST ID:Uml3vSJG No.528177 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So one of my best friends and a female friend were planning a us roadtrip in April. I was encouraged to come along. They are not tied down, but I have a full time job, apartment etc. I told them I’d think about it because I do really like the idea and I’ve been road tripping/woofing before.

But my best friend very recently passed away unexpectedly and it’s been very difficult. She’s still going and I’m torn about the decision. I’m just worried about leaving my stable life and returning to having jack shit. I would probably need to break my lease (although I have an ultra chill landlord) and need to find a place to keep my stuff and throw away my cushy job.

However, I feel directionless and worried about working my job for the rest of my life. I’m ready for adventure and unknown. My female friend doesn’t have much money, but she is driving and has friends family we could stay with along the way. We would do woofing too. The whole thing would be projected to last about a year, but it’s all about leisure and doing as we please. Also we’ve been fooling around recently and it’s been fine, but a relationship would never happen between us. We both agree on that.

I’m just worried about coming back and having nothing and having to claw to get a mediocre job. Also I would hate to have to move in with my parents. I do have enough money to do this and then some, but it’s hard getting a place without a job. But maybe something better will come up? It’s impossible to know the future I guess.

Anyway does this sound like a good adventure or an awful trap? I hate asking for advice, but I’m going through a tough time and can’t think straight.
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Polly Henningstone - Sun, 16 Dec 2018 19:12:25 EST ID:o7XGqUkp No.528180 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I say go. Fuck it.

You have 4 months to grieve. You're in a rut anyway with your current job so going on the road trip will force you to change, especially when you get back.
Jenny Shakeham - Mon, 17 Dec 2018 01:19:36 EST ID:NJkLq9MW No.528181 Ignore Report Quick Reply
that sounds like an awesome opportunity man. i'm jealous
James Gemmerfuck - Tue, 18 Dec 2018 13:20:33 EST ID:oGhTgflo No.528212 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Grieving isn't all about stagnating. Initially most of your energy is in coming to terms with the sadness, but slowly you have start thinking about where to go next. However you're right; going on a roadtrip while you're still early on in the grieving process is a bad idea.

It sounds like this has dragged up opportunities. If you feel stagnant I think you have a secret third choice, which is stay home but try to find a new job or career. Or combine that with the roadtrip. I used to feel directionless until I found a job I liked doing something with actual value. Some people actually love their jobs. I mean if I won the lottery I'd be done but I don't get up in the morning and groan with existential anguish (I've done jobs where I did most days), and when I'm at working I'm fully into what I do. Mind you I've got a career progression plan and am slowly working my way through it.

The roadtrip might give you perspective or it might just be a year of your life you won't get back and you may end up catching the feels (if you both fuck regularly one of you will, if you're lucky both of you will at the same time, otherwise shit's fucked). I would try to have some savings. Remember when you roadtrip you will work, so make sure you go out with the mentality that you won't just have fun but you'll do new things. Learn new skills, try careers and ways of working you never would have. Maybe try to keep an eye open for chances to bring skills or experiences back to future interviews. You're working on a farm? Even if it's dumb labour throw yourself into it. When you're doing interviews in a year and someone asks you can say "I spent a year tossing off and smoking weed with other hippies" or you can spend every day you do the same task looking for ways to improve it and tell the interviewer you wanted a change of pace, to better understand what goes into making food, to learn a bunch of skills you might use in your own garden, friends whatever, and every day you'd try to do whatever it was better than last time because you wanted to say you did great. You'll still have the evening to smoke weed and fuck or whatever.…
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Albert Blundlebad - Wed, 19 Dec 2018 01:33:56 EST ID:44Y0L35o No.528224 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i just wanna be the guy to say do it. You can find another job. Try and leave on a good note, get it back. Find another one. Save up, when you come back you'll be able to save even more money if you are with your family. Most people are not so lucky.
Being a random friend on trip can be a drag. Depends on how hardcord they are traveling if its worth it
Doris Goodhall - Thu, 27 Dec 2018 13:07:19 EST ID:U+ev/SQc No.528373 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I wholeheartedly recommend you do it, you'll probably regret it at the end of your life if you didn't use your time well to enjoy life while you had it. Thankfully you're not at that point yet, go and make your memories. I hope you have a great time.

suicide by Albert Shakespear - Thu, 27 Dec 2018 01:25:27 EST ID:OWx1ClP7 No.528366 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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My brother implied he was going to kill himself at some point this summer and on christmas eve he gave me a date, he said when he turns 35. hes currently 23, but i fear it could happen way sooner if I dont act. I can't tell family, that will make it worse.

hes a great asset to society, one of the best salesman in the city. However, he has a crippling weed addiction and does acid and amphetamine regularly. I try to get him to get off drugs and into fitness, but he hangs around a bunch of commie fags, when I was over at his house a friend stopped by and within 5 minutes the conversation was about toxic masculinity and the dangers of heteronormative society. To make matters worse, my entire family is hardcore conservative. Its the worst of both worlds.

We've never seen eye to eye on much but I love him endlessly regardless. He says he has not been excited or had much feelings about anything since he was very young, maybe 10. He has no car so he wont go see a therapist and says there arent any good ones in the city anyways. Me trying to talk him out of suicide always just goes back to a conversation about how the only reason anyone would try to prevent someone from suicide is for selfish reasons, so they dont get hurt, and ultimately it is their own decision.

My best friend did it about 5 years ago and it was by far the hardest and lowest point of my life, and ive been through some shit.

Anyone got suggestions on how to save my brother?
Doris Goodhall - Thu, 27 Dec 2018 11:53:35 EST ID:U+ev/SQc No.528371 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I think he just wants some love and attention, maybe subconsciously, he has friends and a social life, a loving brother, a job, he set some date 12 years into the future. I think he just likes the idea of living fast and the idea of dying Young is romanticized along with it but I don't think he really wants to. I think everything will be fine. Honestly, try just telling him your worried about him using and the possible consequences from poor health or with the law. Does he want to get good at something? Encourage him in developing himself and he may drop his bad habit

All my strength is gone, I feel obligated to live by John Chazzlegold - Wed, 26 Dec 2018 00:09:52 EST ID:A5u3ULQo No.528353 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I was just in a car accident while drunk that was really serious. Ive been in rehab half this year, and after I got out dedicated my time to learning to drive because I had a labouring job waiting for me. I got my licence only a matter of weeks ago. Last week I had three friends over to chill, have a bbq and drinks by the pool. The girl of my dreams, the definition of an angel was there and while we both have feelings for each other we can not be together because she has just come out of a relationship that really destroyed her and she wants to dedicate herself to uni for the next few years. I knew this but my heart just couldn't and still can't let go of her and when she and her friend left my mate stayed to comfort me as I was a mess. I don't know how he convinced me to go for a drive with him to get my mind off of things but I did. He ended up pulling my handbrake to make my car do a drift or something ( I don't know much about skids and burnouts so I can't tell you what it was ment to do) but we ended up hitting a tree, spinning out and hitting someone's car in there driveway. No one was killed, my friend and I were injured but we are OK.

My car is gone, I owe 35000 in repairs to the other person who's car I hit. I have not worked in over a year, have no qualifications, I have a restraining order the police took out on me so that I can not see my mother again until January.

I have no strength left, my heart is broken and everyday I wake up to this nightmare and everyone keeps telling me I just have to man up and go get a job and pay back what I owe. I sleep for over 12 hours a day and even if I'm not asleep I just lay there. I feel traumatised and genuinely do not want to live anymore. I've had depression and anxiety for a long time and have tried to kill myself before but this is the worst pain I have ever felt in my life and I can not cope, it's been 3 days since I've eaten. I can feel my muscle getting weak. I just don't know how to pick myself up from this.

Please help me, if anyone can suggest anything I'm begging for help. I don't know what to do
Ben Cartwright - Wed, 26 Dec 2018 00:51:38 EST ID:hBEhmcBg No.528354 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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That's some seriously fucked up shit son, I get that you feel depressed right now. I feel like there is a lot I could ask about, but I guess people have asked you a lot of shit lately and you don't need any more of that.

Hopefully your friend will help you pay for reparations, considering that he was the one pulling the handbrake?

If you live in a country with proper welfare, I can't recommend getting a therapist enough. And you definitively should start with getting some food in you, like whatever the fuck you have. This isn't the end of the world, I had a friend who racked up more shit than that in credit card debt and eventually she got a good job and started to slowly pay back and feel better about herself.

Obviously, it isn't fun using money on debt, but a lot of people have debt man. I have tons of student debt and I've flunked every single time, I'm also a unqualified mess but I've had some crazy opportunities by pure chance. What I'm getting at here is that things WILL be alright, this isn't a end of the world scenario, but it is without a doubt incredibly fucking shitty scenario, and again, I really get that you feel the way you do.

Maybe you need a sabbatical and grieve and relax for a little while, that's completely understandable. Maybe you should go back to rehab or get checked in at a psychiatric institution if you're not capable of taking care of yourself right now.

And if you need sympathy or hugs, hopefully there are people in your circle who you can depend on. But the bottom line is that this isn't going to go away by itself, but if you can get a job, and start saving, this shit can turn into a minor annoyance with some amount of money disappearing from your account every month for a couple of years, to it feeling like it never even happened.

Your situation right now sounds rough, but with persistence you'll be okay.

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