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In love w homies girl by Phoebe Geblingludge - Thu, 19 Oct 2017 06:47:44 EST ID:EFmaw3vr No.519505 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I don’t even know what to say. I had this messaged typed out to this girl I had a crush on over 2 years ago. I was drunk and somebody told me not to send it.

A few weeks later one of my friends started dating this girl. I stopped liking her and moved on and was happy for them.

At first she hated me and would bitch when I’d sleep over. I’d come over to their house and get drunk and sniff coke and blare music with her boyfriend and she’d get fucking pissed. But now over the past few months I’ve noticed the way this girl acts has changed towards me. She always just gets drunk and sits and talks to me in a room full of people.

Today I went to a show with them and a few other friends. I was rolling and she was drunk. She walked up to me when her bf wasn’t around and she kept hugging me and putting her face in my chest and telling me she loves me and that she never would have guessed it but she thinks I’m amazing and all this shit. It’s currently 3 hours later and I’m sleeping on the floor of their guest bedroom with s few other people, still rolling and very confused.

I am so confused. I’ve had a few girlfriends since I had a crush on her too. This girls smart and sexy and cool as hell. But these people have slowly become my best friends over the past few years. Last time something like this happened to me it ended very very badly. I feel awful and like a loser and I know that shit would be bad for me if people found out I had these feelings. But this girls fly as hell and I swear to god she thinks something of me.
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Thomas Fedgebutch - Thu, 19 Oct 2017 14:35:34 EST ID:hRBYIF6G No.519521 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519509
Watch an anime to learn how to interact with real people? What a twist, OP is just going to see 2D girls are much better.
>>
Jarvis Closslekat - Thu, 19 Oct 2017 15:52:48 EST ID:RM0nUBdj No.519522 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519521
Well of course but you can’t blatantly throw it at him or he won’t catch it, one of those things people gotta discover themselves
>>
Eugene Bovingville - Thu, 19 Oct 2017 18:19:14 EST ID:WozaXgtK No.519523 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519517
If this is the first and only time this shit happens to OP you might be right and reacting strongly may be a bit of a rash way to act.

It'll become obvious what the case is very quickly. Just hold fire, see how the next couple of times you hang goes. I have a friend who can get a bit touchy feely when really drunk but she's going to jump back on her husband and not anyone else.
>>
Nigel Baddlewudge - Sat, 21 Oct 2017 00:23:31 EST ID:xSLMF7US No.519543 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519521
2D girls only like 2D though. Not fat 3D blobs with no harems or magical powers.
>>
Fanny Dartshaw - Mon, 23 Oct 2017 09:38:10 EST ID:aGM/isHL No.519590 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519508
This.


Feeling like a slave by Lillian Gipperhood - Sun, 22 Oct 2017 17:11:49 EST ID:+dh3eEfF No.519576 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I know that I have it easy compared to many people in the past and present. I know that I'm fortunate to have a great family and good friends. I know that I could not possibly study something that would suit me better than what I'm currently studying. However, this doesn't change the fact that I just feel like a slave. I HAVE to do things for many hours every day that I absolutely do not want to do in order to survive in this world. I don't have that one thing that I'm really passionate about. Whenever I try something new my passion quickly fades and I'm left with daydreams of a painless death. Currently, my life is a cycle consisting of a short period of positivity and then a long period of negativity and depression. The positive period stems from a newfound interest, like a new subject to study. The negative period comes when this thing starts becoming a massive chore, probably because it now has become mandatory. I start to loathe it and I won't spend a second of my free time doing it.
To me, time off of work or studying is the most valuable thing in the world. I don't care about money if I have to spend the majority of most days doing something that I don't want to do. The money then becomes useless.

I tell myself that If I had all the free time in the world I would be happy. This is probably a lie, and eventually I would start wanting to die, yet I still long for a situation where I can just relax all the time and not worry about work or studies. I have seen a psychologist and it did help temporarily. On this topic she told me that what I want to do isn't necessarily what's best for my mental health. I agree with this and I can admit that I do feel a short-lived high when I write a great paper and ace an exam. I feel like I have actually accomplished something, and this can sometimes start one of my positive periods. This all sounds great, but when I'm actually doing the work I want to die. It's only when I finish something that I can feel well. I look back on previous accomplishments with nostalgia, but in reality, achieving those things was hell when I was in the moment.

I feel like a spoiled idiot for being like this, but I can't seem to he…
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Fucking Draddledack - Sun, 22 Oct 2017 19:14:33 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.519578 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Man, you sound a lot like me. I've been diagnosed with bipolar 2 btw, because when I've been put on antidepressants those good periods can cross into hypomania. I'm familiar with getting a boost from some life change or some accomplishment like writing a paper only for it to die out once I get ground down by the mindless repetitive tedium that modern life demands. I guess the best thing would be to keep active and keep changing things up and only doing things you want to do, but that's not really something that works well in the economy. I know I'm not intelligent or hard working enough to compete for one of the dream jobs that is actually fun and exciting every day, so I've decided to go for a lifestyle that maximizes my autonomy and free time. Tomorrow I'm buying a small RV that I'm going to move into eventually.

That will give me the independence from my parents that I crave without making me into a wageslave who has to work a job no matter how much he hates it because he has rent to pay. I plan on supporting myself by getting a home improvement contractor's license and doing some painting for people. I know based on the work I've done that I can make a few hundred dollars per day when I have work, so I won't need to find many jobs to just cover food, gas, and insurance. I know that when I start to run out of money for food, it will motivate me to do some work no matter what.

There are other rhythms or life this kind of living requires that would keep me moving and help keep me from total stagnation I think. Currently my parents can enable me to just shut down during my depressions because I'm dependent on them and they provide certain things for me. If I have to cook and shop and fill and empty my tanks and do oil changes and stuff on my own it will give me a little more responsibility and keep me out of the worst of the depression hopefully.

There seems to be a community of people who live in their vehicles so hopefully I won't be too lonely although that is my major concern with living on the road. I want to force myself to buckle down on martial arts and exercise in general too because that also helps keep me out of the depression so hopeful…
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Ebenezer Goblingville - Mon, 23 Oct 2017 08:05:43 EST ID:uvlAGqfN No.519586 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Quit bitching and get in the damn robot
>>
Fanny Dartshaw - Mon, 23 Oct 2017 09:29:28 EST ID:aGM/isHL No.519589 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519576
Man you sound like Henry David Thoreau. He felt that way OP, like he wasn't truly living, but rather just sojourning through each state of life waiting to get to the next one where hopefully he could truly live.

His solution was to live a newly and simply out in the woods near Walden Pond. He, "wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

Good luck OP. Hope Thoreau's words speak to you.
>>
Hamilton Duppershit - Mon, 23 Oct 2017 13:50:36 EST ID:5yYYR0y+ No.519596 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519589
wasn't thoreau like, 4 feet from his moms house?


schizo shitzu by Charles Biggleladging - Fri, 13 Oct 2017 02:25:33 EST ID:xP2x0ckD No.519358 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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how do I get rid of schizophrenia without taking medication or getting a labotomy (because I don't trust doctors)
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Archie Brallernot - Sun, 22 Oct 2017 03:32:42 EST ID:xP2x0ckD No.519562 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519556
Thanks. I'm still waiting until I can wake up 100% right now.
>>
Betsy Bungerket - Sun, 22 Oct 2017 03:43:03 EST ID:h/1sxUpj No.519564 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519359
Yeah, I'm sure that one scene from that one movie will totally cure OP's schizophrenia. I'm sure you mean well, but that's flat out retarded to think you can just ignore the hallucinations and they'll go away.

>>519362
>material on how to talk to your voices and make sense of what they are trying to tell you

So basically just integrate with your delusions and accept that they're trying to convey real information? Sounds like great advice, dude. I know OP said they don't hear voices, but this is still amazingly bad advice.

>>519367
I read the whole thread, and this is probably the best post in my opinion.

By all means try therapy, but the symptoms you're describing are not usually the kind of thing that can be remedied with behavioural therapy. It might be worth pointing out that if you don't have an official diagnosis as schizophrenic (and even if you do) there are a lot of conditions that can have similar symptoms. What you're describing sounds a lot like a catatonic state (take this with a grain of salt like everything on this board of course). These are typically not treated with antipsychotics.

OP, you should look into the law in your area. I'm not from the USA, here if I were to go to a doctor complaining of these symptoms I'd be referred to psychiatrist and as long as nothing I said suggested that I was a danger to myself or others any treatment would be voluntary. I'd be able to try a range of drugs and decide if they were effective and tolerable. It can take a while to find the right dose, and sometimes side effects do get better with time. I'd have the choice to discontinue treatment at any time, and if there was no suggestion that I was a danger to myself or others could not be involuntarily committed.
You want to check that this is the case in the Yoosa though.
>>
Hannah Ciddleludge - Sun, 22 Oct 2017 04:46:31 EST ID:Uc45pUGq No.519568 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519564
Not at all. Say a voice is saying that everybody hates you. You don't just accept that the voice are true ya dingus. But what's it saying. "I am feeling self conscious about whether people like me or not".

You probably have intrusive thoughts about the same things except you don't perceive them as external.
>>
Betsy Bungerket - Sun, 22 Oct 2017 07:08:30 EST ID:h/1sxUpj No.519569 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519568
That's a fair point, I guess I was assuming that everyone is aware of the distinction between internal monologue and auditory hallucinations. That's not a fair assumption to make.

I used to have problems with intrusive thoughts. I have a close friend who's schizophrenic and had hallucinations he couldn't distinguish from real sounds. If we'd never compared notes I may well not understand the difference too well.
>>
Archie Brallernot - Sun, 22 Oct 2017 19:10:39 EST ID:xP2x0ckD No.519577 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519568
>But what's it saying. "I am feeling self conscious about whether people like me or not".
I have no opinion on how other people perceive me. My voices aren't chatter, which I know that schizophrenics normally get, but they're random sounds (a child laughing, music) that occur very rarely and I just interpreted as a memory I've heard before bubbling up again. I actually have no internal monologue at all which I think is strange. Some time ago it stopped, probably from a head injury or something. I also lack the ability to internally visualize stuff which really really sucks because it's been more difficult for me to do math since.
>>519564
I was diagnosed officially and I thought him to be a crook. I told him I'd sue for religious reasons if he tried forcing me to get medication because he claimed I needed to "clear my head" without listening to the fact that I did/do have a clear head and ignoring that I wasn't hearing voices.
I think that I was suggested to go to a therapist or psychiatrist but I didn't go because I was traveling cross-country for a convention at the time I was diagnosed.
I read about the catatonic state thing for a bit and how it's described on wikipedia is pretty wishy washy (they "may", patients will "sometimes", "conversely") so I won't look into that too much. That said, I had just got back from being in this stupor where I thought I had left my house to go to the sauna with two people I know (I do this often) but I hadn't and I was lying on the floor next to a box of candy the entire time. Weird shit lol


should I tell my girlfriend about my opiate addiction? by Doris Gabberpag - Sun, 15 Oct 2017 22:37:19 EST ID:7kA/y/r6 No.519434 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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First off ive been using PST for about 6 months now, nobody but me knows I'm an addict, a couple of my friends know about my use, but not that I'm addicted. I don't plan on quitting anytime soon, but do plan on definitely reducing my use cuz of the current situation. I just feel so alone in this and I'd like someone to know so i can get support on reducing my intake and hopefully quitting someday.
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Dextrolord - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 14:02:22 EST ID:ymGVR82j No.519478 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519461
Lol I never got the whole, I did something and feel bad now I wanna talk about it, but I'm probably very emotionally desensitized by now from a life of fuckery.

I say keep doin what you wanna do if it hasn't messed with your life for six months and if someone finds out just tell them it wasn't an issue before so why is it now?

But if you're overcome with guilt about your addiction stop it and feel better I guess
>>
Martin Sockledurk - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 22:34:18 EST ID:7kA/y/r6 No.519483 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519478
Yeah I get that man, my thing is is I feel so alone about it all, I'm the only person who knows I'm addicted
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Samuel Worthingville - Thu, 19 Oct 2017 12:12:42 EST ID:lIGmCb/T No.519516 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519434
lying to your partner and keeping secrets from them is a sign of a healthy relationship

The fact that you care enough to lie and keep secrets is a good thing, in fact you should lie more. Pretend to have a really good job, if she finds out she will know how much you love her because she will see how eager you are to impress her.
>>
Dextrolord - Sat, 21 Oct 2017 20:02:58 EST ID:ymGVR82j No.519555 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519483
I felt like that too when I first started using needles. Eventually it got so bad I had to go to a detox clinic and then everyone one knew. It was a blessing in disguise tho I got the help I needed and found out who my true friends and family are. This was a little over a year ago

Now they all think I'm sober as a square and I am for the most part but I still like to get faded every so often on my old stuff like dxm and booze, I would blaze up if I wasn't on probation. I just got a new job and life is looking up so fuck it if they all wanna believe something that isn't true about me.

I forgot what my point was just do whatever you feel is right I guess
>>
Betsy Bungerket - Sun, 22 Oct 2017 02:53:45 EST ID:h/1sxUpj No.519559 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519461
After 6 months of daily PST use, whether or not you're an "addict" you're definitely physically dependent.

>>519457
>fucked libido due to opis

Yeah, they'll do that. Certainly doesn't add anything to a relationship.

Honestly OP, I was on the PST train for years about 1 year of that was towards the end of a 6 year relationship (go figure). Secrecy sucks, but having a GF who knows, accepts and fucking hates the fact that you're an addict also sucks. Maybe she'll be fine with it, who knows. It's very unlikely but not impossible.

Seriously man, just get off that shit. Opis gave me the testosterone levels of an elderly woman, no interest in sex, lost muscle, gained fat etc. It may well get to the point where the psychological effects of low T (depression, anxiety) are no longer outweighed by the good feels of being constantly opiated. Withdrawals get consistently worse in my experience, and 6 months in you're way less likely to experience PAWS than you will be further in to your habit.

The acute withdrawal stage is easy enough to pass off as an awful case of gastro, the post acute withdrawal effects can be harder to explain.

By the way, not everyone understands that having a healthy relationship doesn't mean that all of your other issues suddenly disappear, it can be taken personally like they're not "enough". Using opioids daily usually isn't suggestive of awesome mental health or a generally fulfilling life (it's not impossible that you just love getting fucked up, but every day?).
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Fuck by Henry Pittstone - Thu, 19 Oct 2017 03:38:59 EST ID:KGNn4P0B No.519504 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Ill keep it short
>planning on marrying this girl
>girl does shit to me, lies and betrayal
>forgive her, but I am hurt by and need space
>every day she is near me will project her self-hatred and regret for hurting me all over the place
>break up with her
>6 months later make friends with a girl
>start dating
>3 months into the relationship, literally cannot stop thinking about my ex
>I dont know if I want her back, Miss her, I dont know
>just
>cant
>stop
>thinking
>about her
>>
Esther Dasslenurk - Thu, 19 Oct 2017 10:45:50 EST ID:4I/hIj3s No.519513 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yes you can stop thinking about her. But you don't do it, because you like thinking about her. That's the truth.

Just think about some other girl, it's hard at first but every time you start thinking about your ex, force your brain to start thinking about your new gf. Think about how tall she, is, the color of her hair, her eyes, what you did last weekend. Actually make an effort to stop thinking about your ex, at least for me that's how it works.

I have a crush on a girl I met like 3 years ago and I used to be like you "omg i can't stop thinking about her, she's so perfect i can't get her out of my head." So what I did was pick two previous gfs who now I don't give a shit about, and every time my crush comes into my head I just think about those two ex-gfs, how they are, what they studied, how tall they are, and because my feelings for them are long gone I just eventually stop thinking about women altogether
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Hamilton Sillyworth - Thu, 19 Oct 2017 12:55:58 EST ID:4YGdrqtA No.519518 Ignore Report Quick Reply
eww dont date a woman you have oneitis for.
Women are for making babies
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Slowbroable - Fri, 20 Oct 2017 19:04:05 EST ID:eXnMCmqd No.519538 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519504
You're just being human, you went from engaged, betrayed, single to in a relationship in a year. It's okay and perfectly normal to feel dizzy, I still have moments where I check the IG of a girl that broke my heart couple of times a week, but bam, suddenly that's over and I won't think about her for a year.

The human mind is an unruly monkey, sometimes you just gotta accept that it's a bit apeshit and try your best to get over it.
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Martha Crammerridge - Sat, 21 Oct 2017 18:39:19 EST ID:KGNn4P0B No.519554 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519538
I left my ex because she was suffering. Not because I was unhappy. I loved her so hard, that I wanted her to stop hating herself and forgive herself, and she couldnt do that if she was dating me,

I let her go because I loved her.

Now, I see that my selfless decisionwas good, but I want to be selfish and have her back. So bad. Ive told my gf this. She just wants me happy and to figure out what I want.


Porn Addiction by Albert Crumblesan - Mon, 09 Oct 2017 16:21:56 EST ID:VlXGR1pf No.519267 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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On my first few steps on my road to becoming a well-rounded and centred individual I have done some digging and realised I have a porn addiction.

Here's how I realised:

>I watch porn, every day, same time, same place, multiple times a day
>I eagerly await the moment I can watch porn
>I imagine women at work in pornographic situations regularly
>I imagine myself in pornographic situations even more frequently
>I struggle to talk to and connect to women on a personal level, I don't view them as people to bond with and listen to like I do with men
>I can't see women as anything other than an object for sex and I have NO IDEA how to talk to them

Unfortunately I'm nothing like Don Jon (pic related) and I don't have a cool car and an appartment to feel good about. I live with my mother and brother and don't have a healthy social life.

I'd appreciate some help.
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Eliza Mommerfield - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 21:40:33 EST ID:RM0nUBdj No.519482 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519480
““I might have herpes” is not a good conversation starter or confidence booster.

It’s like you didn’t even read the replies, you baka!
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Clara Chonnerfadging - Wed, 18 Oct 2017 05:51:29 EST ID:g4/yby/C No.519489 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519480
Haha, I was thinking what this looks to poor OP.

>>519481
This is some good advice. It's unlikely you aren't just bad with women but also have a selective group of people you can approach and relate to. The internet filters and breaks down people into groups that are easy to find but creates a bit of an echo chamber; I don't doubt that more and more people will struggle to generally relate as we do this.

If that is a problem, start small by putting yourself out there. There's no wrong answer, you're just trying to find a social voice.
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Charlotte Pollyfoot - Wed, 18 Oct 2017 06:21:23 EST ID:6P6u/bAq No.519491 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Striking up a conversation with a sexually attractive stranger is terrifying. Unfortunately there is no real foolproof method for talking to ladies. What I like to do is go somewhere far away where nobody knows who I am.

There's a densely populated city three towns over from where I live. I'll spend a few hours just trying to talk to random ladies on the street, in cafes or business parks. I haven't met anyone worthwhile but I have gotten used to talking to random women. Plus, the fact that almost every encounter is 100% cold makes it easier to just restart and try again if things don't go well. Optimal haircuts and clothing will vary depending on what type of woman you're trying to attract (different people like different haircuts/clothes) but across the board, you'll be surprised how many females respond positively to a combination of well-fitting clothes, good posture, a smile, eye contact, and a friendly wave. I am still an introvert though, and I find this practice incredibly tiring.

Free public events are a great (cheap) place to meet ladies with similar interests. I got a random woman to let me teach her how to mambo at a hispanic jazz festival.

The details of what you say, who you talk to, what you wear, where and when are up to you. It's like Robin Williams says in Dead Poets society "I want you to find your own walk right now. Your own way of striding, pacing. Any direction, anything you want. Whether it's proud or it's silly. Anything."

...But there are still some things that you should generally avoid:

>waiting around
From the moment a lady notices you looking at her, you have seconds to avoid creeping her out. Remain calm, establish eye contact, smile and wave. No sudden movements. If she smiles back, or even walks over and talks to you, GOOD! If she rolls here eyes, or looks away with fear and or shame on her face... don't worry about her too much.

After she knows you've acknowledged her existence, you don't have a whole lot of time to strike up a conversation with her without creeping her out. If you're at a loss for words, I've had moderate success with saying "Wattido?" as an icebreaker.
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Archie Ceddlewerk - Wed, 18 Oct 2017 15:53:30 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.519495 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519491

There you go, some real advice.

>>519480

OP, sorry about the weebs, girls don't typically like weebs so their advice is null/void. That said, there's still some nuggets in here worth reading.

If you feel a prostitute is what you need though, it's common practice in some countries to fuck one, especially if you're a virgin, so it's not weird though I wouldn't brag about it. And never mention it to another girl, obviously.

Anywho, just like a dog has to be socialized to get along with other dogs and play with them, a man has to be socialized to get along with other people and play with them. So my method is read about it, learn body language, and practice. Socializing is like playing a musical instrument. You practice it, get decent, and learn your own style.
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Henry Hirringwater - Sat, 21 Oct 2017 02:46:10 EST ID:oY2KBXa7 No.519544 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i haven't ejaculated in a month because i realized i had the same problem. life record, i'm 26. talking to women is MUCH easier now because i know i HAVE to do it if i'm trying to release semenz. haven't gotten laid yet though... good luck to us


Medication.. SSI/SSDI... Depersonalization/Derealization... Depression/Anxiety... Psychotic Fixation by Jarvis Duckville - Sun, 08 Oct 2017 13:06:18 EST ID:ehiQjzru No.519242 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've got a disability hearing coming up and I'm stressing out over it. I've been going through the process of getting on disability for the past two years and by the end of the year it will culminate.

I'm sorry I just need to talk. I've been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic Fixation, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Eating Disorder. The "Psychotic Fixation" is the result of chronic depersonilization/derealization symptoms and a persistent belief/feeling that reality is in someway false, as if it's a dream or simulation. I have a very real concern that other people aren't actually people because I can't verify their consciousnesses.

I have a disconnect and contempt for my body and humanity. I hate it. I hate this static form that I can't set to what I want. I hate that I can not exert control over reality according to my thoughts. I hate that I'm in a body that is going to grow od, fail, and die. I've realized that when my body starts falling apart, if I don't die suddenly, I'm probably going to be one of those old people that quietly commits suicide because I can't stand the thought of becoming decrepit, and dying a lingering death in a hospital bed in my own waste, hooked up to machines.

I've been involuntarily committed twice and voluntarily committed once in the past two years for suicidal thoughts, behavior, and planning. I've basically come to the conclusion that if I can't successfully get on disability I'm probably going to commit suicide within the next year because I can't stand the thought of living alone and working a dead end drudgery job with no prospects for the rest of my life.

My medications keep me stable, but I feel more depersonlized and disconnected from myself as if I'm not the real me when I'm medicated and I feel emotionally blunted. Other problems include anorgasmia and sexual dysfunction though I've never had a girlfriend or engaged in sex. On top of this, at times it feels like my meds are less effective and the only reason I'm taking them is to avoid discontinuation and to not get shit from my family or doctors.

A big thing I miss, that I can't do due to dangerous drug interactions with my meds, is tripping. The only thing I've tripped on two years is DPH and it was unsatisfying. I long for the spiritually uplifting feeling of a good drug trip. I felt my soul sing on one my last trips. I don't think I can adequately explain that to my doctors or family members. My father is Christian and sometimes talks about the religious feelings he gets from his faith, but the only time I've ever felt anything that could be called a religious experience is on hallucinogens and I want so badly to feel that again.

All the above points make me seriously consider quitting my meds, but I live with my mother. She would notice the change in behavior. My doctors at least test my lithium levels so they would know if I quit that and compliance with treatment is probably a condition of disability.

I have problems with anxiety, but my doctors stop prescribing me benzos because of the last incident that involved me being committed in which my doctor found out my latest suicidal plans involved overdosing on benzos and drowning myself. My mother hid what benzos I had left. Because of this I now have to suffer through anxiety and panic attacks with nothing but shitty herbal remedies. I'd use booze for anxiety, but I basically have no cash and my family treats me like an alcoholic ever since the one time I got a DUI back in 2013. I realize how stupid that was and that I fucked up, but I learned my lesson, I payed my dues for it and it won't happen again. I shouldn't be treated like I have problem, especially after they took away my anti-anxiety meds. Also I think it is incredibly fucked up that one can not speak frankly on certain things with a psychiatrist without risking being committed and having liberties taken away. Basically after being committed three times I've learned it's best not to mention certain things even if they are true.
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George Finkindale - Mon, 09 Oct 2017 11:36:44 EST ID:VizjRfBY No.519265 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I'm kind of like you, just not as extreme, it's not always good.
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Awe' God !!vVWR8L52 - Mon, 09 Oct 2017 17:07:40 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.519273 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519245
if you are ready to die it will be easy for you to decide who you are and what it;s gonna be and act in full faith of that even if it kills you. If the decision is solid the echoes will only affirm it and the echoes will fade and your new decision will be left standing. Don't think that you have to manipulate anything into being a certain way, all you have to do is chose who you are, everything else is just a reflection. I'd go for something light and easy and fun and exciting.
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Clara Hoffingdune - Mon, 09 Oct 2017 22:26:41 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.519278 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Lets assume everything around you is a simulation.

How would that affect your life?
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Clara Hoffingdune - Mon, 09 Oct 2017 22:35:27 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.519279 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Suffering from derealization now after a massive panic attack/episode. Chronic stress accumulation will do that to you. Actually demonstrating the visual disturbances; I didn't know I was capable of making myself show such physically debilitating symptoms.

Anywho, even if this world isn't real, I don't think that would change the way I live it/used to live it.

I can't identify with everything, but from what I understand, the only way to beat derealization is to let it hit you. Let your brain try to stabilize itself. Medication will only protract the inevitable; you have to face it. As far as suicide goes, I wouldn't do that. Shit gets too interesting in this world. We have a little orange guy as a president with no qualifications to be running the nation with the largest military in the world.

Disability might be tough to get, but there's no use in worrying about the outcome. Whatever happens will happen. You might get rejected because someone forgot to file some paperwork. You never know, and everything that can happen will happen. So just let it hit you and deal with it.

That's what I'm trying to do.

But I'm not in your situation. I'm just doing what I think is best for me.
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James Sinningstane - Thu, 19 Oct 2017 14:29:01 EST ID:ehiQjzru No.519520 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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One quote that helps me get through my derealization:

"All we have to believe with is our senses: the tools we use to perceive the world, our sight, our touch, our memory. If they lie to us, then nothing can be trusted. And even if we do not believe, then still we cannot travel in any other way than the road our senses show us; and we must walk that road to the end." - American Gods, Chapter 6

And something positive, guys, my attorney managed to make a deal with the judge who was handling my case. In exchange for changing the date my disability started and losing about ten months of back pay the judge agreed to approve my claim without a hearing. I've still got more than two years worth of back pay with the changed date so I accepted the deal.

I'm still hoping to reach a point where I can be off my meds and trip once or twice a month again. Here's to hoping I can learn to handle myself off my medication.


Choose Your Abuser by RL Charlatan - Sat, 14 Oct 2017 22:15:53 EST ID:DlJv0rWW No.519406 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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My old daddy showed up. Flirtatious little emails to my private email accounts, plural.

He caught me at an exceptionally bad time.
My current GF and I have been having all kinds of ruptures, I'm between therapists, and I'm getting into pretty unhealthy patterns w/sleep etc.

I know he would love to meet my needs; particularly the ones that my partner is not meeting.

I'm so vulnerable rn, that it feels dangerous to engage with him, and suicidal to stay with her.

It's like, be treated like a dog, and have a fucking RIOT, or
be treated like a human CHILD, and get "BETTER"
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RL Charlatan - Sun, 15 Oct 2017 00:03:38 EST ID:DlJv0rWW No.519415 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519407
that feels like the obvious thing to do, but as a charlatan, i only know how to mooch.
i've been so effectively up until now that i haven't had to learn the ins and outs of rooming with randos.
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Martha Hurryham - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 01:51:29 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.519437 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519415
If you can't handle living on your own, you give whomever you're dependent on too much leverage and they'll be able to walk all over you.
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Emma Shakeridge - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 13:19:14 EST ID:WozaXgtK No.519446 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519437
Yeah, people who want a healthy relationship with a whole human being will avoid you but people who want a victim will swarm you. Sort it out OP. It'll be harder in the short run even within a few months it won't be any worse and it'll be better long term, like a year or two down the line you'll be like "how did I live like that? this is awesome"
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Matilda Fenkindon - Wed, 18 Oct 2017 05:51:56 EST ID:2ULIAVPs No.519490 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519406
Stop pretending you're the victim
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Oliver Churringtedge - Mon, 23 Oct 2017 03:33:18 EST ID:YRVU//Uh No.519584 Ignore Report Quick Reply
nothing more attractive than an independant person who doesn't need anyone to make them happy.
cut the cunts out of your live, mastrubate, and be independant.


Heroin girl updates by Lydia Dresslewill - Thu, 28 Sep 2017 02:28:10 EST ID:SPpwuYvJ No.519050 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>Friend says she is in the hospital and needs someone to pick her up
>I comply and pick her up at 2am
>says she has to someone's house
>I comply
>we then get to her house and she wants to ravish me
>I comply once again and have sex with her
>we hang out for quite a while afterward and go on a walk
>she says she has to take her medicine and return to her house
>I use the bathroom for awhile and when I return her lips were completely blue and she was unresponsive
>I wake her sleeping mother and she grabs some narcan and sprays it into her nose, she immediately


I HELD HER LIFE IN MY HANDS FOR A FEW MINS
If I left a few moments earlier or pulled a Walter White she would be dead right now. But she has been kicked out of her house for stealing, is wheelchair bound and is living homeless in the park,.
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Hamilton Brogglelock - Thu, 12 Oct 2017 21:38:54 EST ID:4I/hIj3s No.519354 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519216
do some research into PTSD treatment with MDMA, she might literally be only a couple pills away from being totally fine
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Hedda Clingerridge - Sat, 14 Oct 2017 09:39:32 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.519396 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519216
>If she got adopted by another family she would have never picked up a drug habbit or smoking for that matter, nor would she have been raped.
How do you know that exactly?
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Nell Dullerson - Sun, 15 Oct 2017 00:46:57 EST ID:/iGyFSfg No.519417 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519396
>raped for the first time by staff when her parents had her committed to a psyche ward
>raped again by drug dealers after being thrown out
>picked up heroin addiction from her adopted brother,
He did all the same behavior
>she picked smoking from a religious gathering they sent her too
parents said nothing

>discouraged her from going to college
>denied multiple rapes


If she was picked up by a family like mine she would be a completely different person
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Lydia Hagglefuck - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 03:14:48 EST ID:rYUPE/Vm No.519470 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519215
I became close to an addict, ended up letting him live in my place for a few months, took care of him through multiple rehabs, jail a couple times, hospitals, etc. In many ways we were very good friends.

I always knew where he was and what he was doing, even when he tried to make up stories. Came to the point that I was the only person who would really put up with him.

One week I didn't hear from him for a couple days when he was supposed to be coming by my place. I ended up finding him at his apartment. Had to arrange the funeral and everything since his family couldn't/wouldn't.

Funny thing is, I knew that in many ways he was using me, but I really loved the guy and don't regret it at all. I'm not sure that taking her across country is a good idea-- you could easily end up using yourself if you're around that all day-- but by all means never feel bad about helping somebody you care for. Just go into it with your eyes open.
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Clara Pittdale - Wed, 18 Oct 2017 02:09:31 EST ID:NCONf+22 No.519487 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519470
Me use?
Phat chance! I duck drugs like the plague but I just want to see this person do better.
They told me that they don't want to leave the state they are in though.


Disintegrating by Sidney Fudgestock - Thu, 12 Oct 2017 09:51:17 EST ID:/xgCR/0/ No.519336 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I have so many issues and existential feelings that I can't actually explain in any concise or coherent manner what advice it is that I actually require. Which is a problem.

I feel like I need to completely erase my past from my head but I can't. I need to completely reinvent myself but I'm too neurotic and have no options. I am 35 years old and I've utterly ruined my life. My personality traits are not optimal for living in this world to say the least.

I'm watching all my friends getting married and have kids and its hurting. I never wanted those things because I was an irresponsible manchild with social anxiety and his head in the clouds throughout my whole 20s. I have realised I will never be able to enjoy the latter half of my life without such security and all I have to aim for is minimum wage drudgery (thats IF I can even get a job). My sexual frustration is killing me and I feel like I could snap I'm so angry all the time. I keep breaking stuff.

I just wish there was someone who understood where I'm coming from, someone in the exact same situation. I have lost all faith in free will, I believe I am living out my destiny, as it was written a long time ago.

Apologies for the incoherent nature of this post. If anyone cares enough, you can ask me some questions.
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Emma Shakeridge - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 18:07:02 EST ID:WozaXgtK No.519460 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519429
For a lot of people it gets better. Especially from 19. You just learn to into life. If you completely stop trying you won't improve though. If you were 29 and like this guy I'd say "it's more likely to get worse than better" but odds are you'll get your shit together. Just don't stop fighting.
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Awe' God !!vVWR8L52 - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 03:47:50 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.519473 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519460
by stoping fighting is how you get your shit together. but yeah for me 19 was when things have started to improve rapidly. although i took very serious steps to heal and detox my body so I have a much more enjoyable machine now. Can;t help but wonder if that's not the very reason my life is so much better. Well i also let go of many beliefs that didn;t serve me...
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Barnaby Lightham - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 12:39:32 EST ID:WozaXgtK No.519476 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519473
>stoping fighting is how you get your shit together
I suppose if you mean so you can hit rock bottom and bounce then maybe even that, that's not really true. But honestly all the time I just resigned myself to getting nothing from life was lost, it served no purpose, it didn't make me better. There is little I learned except that it had been a waste of time. If I hadn't needed to realise that I'd have been fine 5 years earlier.

I'm way out on the bell curve. At 19 almost everyone is still struggling to get their shit together.
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Dextrolord - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 13:35:45 EST ID:ymGVR82j No.519477 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519336
You remind me of my friend he's an all around good guy, just wigs out occasionally.

Just don't do meth that's when his shit started to get out of control

Sadly life is harder for some people than others I don't have really advice besides just try to accept your reality
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Awe' God !!vVWR8L52 - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 16:01:52 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.519479 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519476
I mean going with the flow, using the forces that are present to your advantage instead of thinking that there are things that have to be dominated to extract benefit or for some damage control reasons. If you let go of the struggle, the universe conspires on your and your desire's behalf. IMO


get some things off my chest by Ernest Dartstock - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 02:17:05 EST ID:s62wPwbe No.519438 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I want to die sometimes because I am a pussy. But regardless of that I have a burning desire to change the world and make it like heaven on earth. I sometimes feel so forsaken that everything I do turns to ash. I have lost touch with my friends and family. Every sentence has started with "I" because I am so ego driven, except for this one. And thank you all for listening because this is the only place where I can be honest with someone.
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Basil Clegglekack - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 13:50:17 EST ID:/v/fnY4O No.519448 Ignore Report Quick Reply
:( Hang in there bud
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Charlotte Neblingfodge - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 13:54:46 EST ID:4I/hIj3s No.519449 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I also want to do something to make the world a better place but I just don't know what, I feel too weak and too small to be able to do much. At the time I am planning on doing a business course and hopefully be able to open my own company and use that money to do some good.
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Henry Murdwell - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 22:36:46 EST ID:72fnU3DN No.519462 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519438
Relax buddy, everybody wants to die sometimes, I'm sure even mighty kings, scholars and people that work out and eat healthy have moments where they are thinking "what the faack duuude I just wanna end this misery"

But things usually turn around. And it's okay to be ego-driven too, just don't be an asshole you know? If you can take care of yourself and be happy, you'll be in a better position to help others!

I hope that it helped getting things off your chest, and I'm sure that if you hit up an old friend or familymember you'll quickly notice that things haven't changed that much and that they are probably very happy to hear from you. Good luck, and remember to just relax!
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Awe' God !!vVWR8L52 - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 03:43:29 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.519471 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519438
yesterday i wanted to die as well. I dry fasted till i wanted to live again. broke the fast with juice. Today i feel more hope and a bit more power, but I'll probably continue to fast, cause it;s not yet satisfactory.


bully as an adult by Angus Hipperridge - Sun, 15 Oct 2017 21:59:13 EST ID:O7qq0Hj7 No.519433 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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im 28 i work at a large state facility.

rewind to about 2 years ago when i was trying to date this girl and we go to a party. its totally all guys but me and this girl. there is a this one guy i have not seen since high school and we get into discussion and hes trying to ask me all these questions and then he looks to my friend and says "I wanna hit ____ in the face with this beer but i dont" instantly the whole group of friends are like what? one of our friends escorts him outside and then another friends says maybe its best you leave which i do because this guys been drinking is 240 pounds of muscle and 6 for 2, veteran.

now at work and the first time i see this guy again i glare really hard at him and he does the same. i see this guy now and he works there, and he tries talking to my boss about my weed smoking in shade. hes also death stares at me when we cross paths.

I will not take this shit at 28, is there any legal recourse or should i go up to his boss and talk to him about his past actions. i called the police recently to ask about legsl advice and they said make a police report, this happened in another city so i feel its pointless

tldr 28, dude threatened me with a bottle and now contiues to try to harass me 2 years later at my job what do?
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Walter Shittinghall - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 14:23:15 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.519452 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Jesus fuck. ITT: Confrontation aversion.

Alright, so he started the shit, and now you accidentally work with him.

Confront him like you already have been. Just ask him to step aside and tell him you're both adults and to leave the petty shit at home cause it doesn't belong in the workplace. I've gotten people fired for their petty behavior (towards me) at work, so that's how I handle that shit, but they were also fucking off and getting away with it.

Don't back down like a wuss or pretend the original conflict never happened. It doesn't seem like you were even considering it anyways, but that's a real pussy way to conduct yourself. Acknowledge the conflict happened and then agree to drop it.
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Martha Hurryham - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 15:02:18 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.519454 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519452
You've obviously never dealt with bullies. Asking them to stop only encourages them and lets them know they're getting to you. He'll just call him a pussy bitch and continue just like he was before. The only thing that might work is going to your boss and getting him to step in but that's a much bigger bitch move than just ignoring it. If you ignore it and don't feed the fires of resentment, eventually they get bored and stop. If he escalates to something more concrete that interferes with OP's work then he can take it up with the boss, but until then, it's between the two of them. You can either keep squabbling and posturing like fucking morons forever or just move on with your life and worry about more important things. Confrontation is just not worth it in the long run. You don't just "win" the confrontation and it goes away. Things fester and worsen.
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Walter Shittinghall - Mon, 16 Oct 2017 16:32:03 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.519456 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519454

The thing you didn't factor in was age. If the guy continues to act like a fuckface, then he probably has criminal tendencies, in which case it shouldn't take long to get him fired.

Confrontation is a part of life and dodging it doesn't make it go away. I'm not telling OP to run up and fight him, but bowing to him only reinforces his behavior. He needs to learn it's unacceptable behavior, otherwise he'll never change his tactics. I've dealt with bullying in highschool, and to a lesser extent in my professional life. I ignored it in high school and refused to give tinder to those flames. Until I stood up for myself and fist fought one of them after egging him on. After that, noone fucked with me.

I'm not recommending violence as a means to solve problems, but these particular types of people only understand one thing: pain. You need to show them that there are consequences for their actions. However with adults, I suggest that open communication, even confrontational communication, can be effective.

Don't threaten him, approach him, prove that you're man enough to face him. Tell him that hanging onto a grudge is gay as fuck, and ask him to drop it. Then, I dunno, get a beer with the guy. Show him there's no hard feelings on your end and that you just had a lovers quarrel.

Adult bullying is juvenile as fuck. That shit should stay in gradeschool where it belongs.
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Basil Hacklenere - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 00:38:15 EST ID:4I/hIj3s No.519466 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519451
Bad idea, if there's anything that bullies hate is displaying weakness, and being homosexual is still seen as an insult if you're one of those big Chad types. Calling him gay will only get OP's ass kicked

>>519452
>Just ask him to step aside and tell him you're both adults and to leave the petty shit at home
woah yeah try using rational arguments against a bully, that works 100% of the time. Why wouldn't he stop when you present a strong argument that he can follow through? Oh that's right, he's a fucking bully so chances are he's dumb as fuck.

I remember when I had a guy bully me in high school, the easiest way to get him off my back was to just reply with something that he didn't understood, or to just establish some form of connection between the two of us. He would say "I don't like you, I think you're dumb" and I would reply "See, I was having just the same thoughts about you. We're not that different after all, you and me". This is much better than saying "YEAH YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT TOO". Bullies don't know how to deal with intelligence. They tend to be stupid, so if they find themselves in a position they don't understand, their brains just shut down and they give up

Unless OP is ready to get physical, I would suggest avoiding confrontation. Avoiding confrontation does not mean running away like a bitch, it means being smart enough to twist his brain so that he finds himself out of his regular bully mindset. Ways to do this:

1- pay attention to what he likes and try to imitate him subtly. Bringing him closer to you might work , bullies tend to focus more on the people they find the most different to them
2- redirect his attention somewhere else. If he's for instance making fun of the clothes you wear, ask him "so where do you shop then? why instead of complaining don't you give me some advice?" Obviously he's not going to become your BFF but asking the bully "why" usually stops them on their tracks. Why, indeed? The bully is not used to thinking, and they probably can't do two things at the same time.
3- Use psychology to toy with hi…
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Nicholas Murdson - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 03:02:01 EST ID:9aeUGuOI No.519469 Ignore Report Quick Reply
He sounds like a punk, you have a few options here.

A. Cut back on smoking weed, take it as a cue to work harder and get a better job than this. When he tries to go run and tell you can walk up sober and smelling like anything but weed and he'll look like a dipshit. Bosses don't want to deal with adult taddle tales, especially if they are demonstrably wrong, that shit is pathetic.

B. Wait until he's in an area by himself and come up behind him. Put the ball of your wrist against his throat and push your wrist down with your other hand and get him in a really good choke hold to the point he can't breathe. Make sure you have him good or you'll fuck it up. Wait until he starts squirming and can't breathe and tell him "I know you told on me you fucking bitch, do it again and I'll fuck you in the ass" then let him out of the choke hold, slide a finger down his butt crack as a power move then push him away and tell him he makes you sick. Works every time.

C. Pay a lawyer to take action against a guy who is gossiping about you at a job that won't even cover the cost of this litigation.

Choose your own adventure OP.


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