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Despair by Nicholas Dartville - Sat, 24 Jun 2017 21:18:02 EST ID:UrQwPY3E No.517052 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So... I have two issues going on. I broke up (rather was broken up) by this girl I dated some months on March/April (things looked sour a lot sooner, but that was the date it ended). Since then I've been rather depressed, sad, lazy, and an overall fuck up (failed every subject, training much much less, buying/doing drugs again, drinking more often). I've been out with three girls and fucked one since then (I've actually fucked like one time since january, the last time I had sex with my ex)

Basically most of the stuff I was doing lost it's meaning, because I was partially giving meaning to them through the eyes of my ex. Now I find myself in despair and I don't know what to do. I feel everything I do is an attempt not to fall into nothingness. Everything stems out of a desperate need to feel better, not to feel alone, and not to think about her. I just don't do things out of enjoyment anymore. Everything I do is out of necessitiy. Necessity of escaping, of moving towards something different, of changing places and positions. I just feel I'm hanging from a cliff clinging to the rocks with one finger, and desperetly trying to climb up, but I never get to the top, and I'm always on the verge of falling

The other issue is rather banal, but it's obviously related. I feel alone. I have a ton of friends, and I see them pretty much everyday. That's not the issue. I just want to really like someone, and be liked by her/him. But I can't find anyone. I have a couple girls that have shown interest in me, but I don't feel like just having sex. I want to be with someone I actually like. Now, I don't know if I'm listening to myself, or if I'm simply shutting off frome the outside. I mean, It'd probably do me really good to have sex, I haven't gotten laid in almost 4 months, but I just don't want to do it with someone I don't like or at least find really attractive. I dunno... should I bang everything that crosses my path? Is that a better way to get better? Or should I keep doing what I'm doing until I find someone I like?
>>
Betsy Drurrywill - Sun, 25 Jun 2017 00:08:49 EST ID:Uc3v3vtk No.517057 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517052

There's no right answer here. Everyone is different. I just got out of a two-year engagement (together for four). I live hours away from all of my old friends/family, so when I found myself pursued once I was single, I went with it. The first date (after a couple weeks being alone) was horrible. I wasn't ready. They were too forward and pushy. I ended it early and cut them off. The second date (after a couple more weeks) was still a little awkward, but the chemistry was better so I went with it. Had sex four times in 24 hours. Had fun, but it did nothing for me except make me realize I still miss my ex.

So naturally, I decided to try and get back with my ex. They're open to the idea, but not yet. So that was a rough rejection.

Anyway, if you think you're ready, go for it. Get laid. See if it helps. Go on some dates, even if you're not sure about them. But more than anything, take care of yourself. Work out. Eat right. Be productive. Stop doing drugs/drinking heavily (moderation is okay, but if you included it as a problem, then it is). Go to class. Talk to people. Enjoy being single. Flirt. When you meet the right person, don't hesitate. But don't force it either.


Bad woman blues by James Blerryham - Sat, 17 Jun 2017 02:26:38 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.516936 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1497680798286.jpg -(117823B / 115.06KB, 720x683) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 117823
>Long term FWB (4 years, and we dated before that, and have been friends for like 8 years) is leaving the state tomorrow morning to go to rehab for 6 months
>Dont really know any other females
>Giving a best man speech at a wedding for someone thats been my best friend since preschool this fall
>Dont have a date

Ive been thinking about this alot lately, i live in an area with a very large population of ugly fat women.

Today, I saw a picture on instagram of an ex girlfriend. She grew out her arm pit hair and posted it on insta.

A few hours later, a friend forwarded me this rant from some girl on facebook saying if you wont date a girl who doesnt shave, youre a violent misogynist. And during all of this I was thinking about how to get a girl for the wedding, and all of this shit just discourages me.

The male to female ratio around here is very off, and many of the females are very ugly. Alot of the ones that actually would be attractive are very stuck up, have poor hygiene, and do not shave to make a statement. I want a girl with some self respect, thats pretty and smart. Yea, i'm a loser on probation, i have a decent car but I live in a shitty apartment. I'm quitting my job delivering pizza to go work in a factory, which i'll make some respectable money at, but my schedule is gonna be so jacked that I'll never even meet anyone.

I feel hopeless and defeated. I'm skinny and ugly.

Sorry, just came here to vent, hope theres somebody else who can relate.
13 posts and 1 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
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Nigel Chablingsot - Thu, 22 Jun 2017 17:58:32 EST ID:Q9DX3BEl No.517020 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516944
>can beggers really be choosers
What you're attracted to isn't really something you have very much intentional control over. You can only control your conduct. If you truly find something unattractive, trying to pretend it isn't a big deal is, in the long run, just going to make everyone miserable. Loneliness isn't the worst thing that can happen to you.
>>
Jack Goodhood - Fri, 23 Jun 2017 04:53:38 EST ID:80efJqSX No.517029 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517011
>Moshkoe is that you?

Dear god no. All I'm saying there is that if you want to affect your partner's appearance, it helps to give them some incentive, and compliments are the easiest incentive.

>>517020

Sure, but if you're like OP and saying "I need woman companionship in a tight timeframe, but I don't like this, that or the other", then you're kinda setting yourself up to fail.

Compromise is the only way forward.
>>
Ernest Bleggleput - Sat, 24 Jun 2017 10:11:45 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.517042 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517011
Whose moshkoe?
>>
David Clullersot - Sat, 24 Jun 2017 11:15:26 EST ID:erhGJy4z No.517044 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517042
MS0hfkOE if I remember right.

Even netjester knew him as "the autism chronicles" except actually he had mild aspergers and maybe some borderline and the most severe case of psychological hypochondria the world has ever seen. So he decided he was full on high functioning autistic and became that and regularly posted here as such for months maybe a year until one day he realised all this and got help and was never seen again. Maybe.
>>
Nell Pillysure - Sat, 24 Jun 2017 22:04:55 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.517054 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>517044

I always thought that moshkoe was a Netjester experiment to pass the turing test.


Ex girlfriend becoming homeless by Doris Chunnerridge - Tue, 20 Jun 2017 09:01:45 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.516992 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I am studying and my ex moved out recently, I have no spare money but i can get by.
I was glad to have my ex out of my life, although i'm still friendly with her and we talk via text sometimes, I definitely do not want her back in my life.

I found out yesterday that since we broke up she has been drinking everyday. I also found out she tried to suicide with a box of antidepressants and alcohol and got hospitalised.

All of that is fine, i can handle that. Sure it's shit for her but it doesn't affect me. But then i also find out that she lost her job and she was short on rent with a landlord that will not accept benefits and that the other day the bank she uses decreased her overdraught so she needs to pay them back money too, so i felt a bit shit about that and I googled everything she needed to do to try get help.

Based on what i've seen she's probably going to have to move into some type of emergency housing or if she can't get it she might actually end up homeless.

How much of my time do I give to helping her out. She has no family at all and has a couple of friends.
1 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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Wesley Pockgold - Tue, 20 Jun 2017 12:49:16 EST ID:4RSYs7Ln No.516994 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516992
I remember your thread. It's difficult to see she's going through this but if you help her our again will she ever learn? I mean maybe she won't anyway but you know if you put her up she will continue to fuck people she doesn't even like and try to kill herself, just in the comfort of the flat of the flat you're paying for.

If she shows genuine awareness of how badly she fucked up I'd be inclined to say take a different path.

It shows what an awful job it was that they basically got her drunk and then when it got out of hand ditched her though.

See if she can land the emergency housing first if you ask me. At least she won't be out in the cold any time soon.

I admit though I feel uncomfortable advocating this. I just feel like helping her out is just going to lead to her fucking you over and resuming the self destruction, only after you're worse off.
>>
Doris Chunnerridge - Tue, 20 Jun 2017 16:37:56 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.516995 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516994
I have no intentions of letting her back in here but i feel like i'm obligated to at least offer emotional support even if it can be draining and yeah that little thing she had with that guy ended fairly fast.

So I found myself spending some free time looking at emergency housing and stuff to try help her out and i've spoken to her quite a lot just so she has someone to talk to.

I am fine with that for now cause i've told her there will be no financial help from me and I don't really do that much except listen to her problems and offer some advice but i'm not going to have much extra free time soon and it is a bit draining to deal with her shit.

I'm assuming this will just go on forever? Does anyone know of anyone who actually sorted their shit out and got on with life or am i just going to have to abruptly cut her out of my life once I get sick of it all.
>>
Betsy Dickleshit - Thu, 22 Jun 2017 15:10:46 EST ID:0ZGYnx1f No.517017 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516992


every day is two words unless it is the adjective "everyday" as in "an everyday concern"
>>
Hugh Cribbledut - Thu, 22 Jun 2017 20:16:13 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.517023 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>517017
>>
Clara Siffingfurk - Sat, 24 Jun 2017 17:48:36 EST ID:AkBTpOns No.517049 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516995
whats happened to people that others have known has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with her specific case. obviously. Some people want to be better, some have long careening arcs of ups and downs - downs sometimes lasting well over a year - and some people are just broken in such a way that for whatever reason theyll simply take and take and drain and live off others as much as they can, causing all their own problems and ruts, continually, until....fuck knows? they kill themselves?

fuck some peoples lives are just one horrid travesty. theyll just ping-pong between surrogate fathers/familys until they wind up a fetid loveless casket

is she one of those? hows anyone else gonna tell you that. Sometimes it might feel like "hey, maybe this could just go on forever" but sometimes all people need is a little crutch to give them some strength. like how can anyone but you answer this. How did she lose her job? was it a job she ever even gave a fuck about?


Ticketing by Lillian Pudgeforth - Sat, 24 Jun 2017 13:52:18 EST ID:sqtBUIpg No.517045 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1498326738055.jpg -(39830B / 38.90KB, 216x302) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 39830
>get first speeding ticket ever around a month and a half ago
>pay it
>website says everything is fine
>about a monthish after the ticket was issued, get notice mailed back home (living in another city for grad school right now) saying it wasn't paid and I'll have to pay extra plus license may be suspended
>check bank account, sure enough no transaction took place so it wasn't like I didn't have the money or anything
>pay that garbage, lady I speak with says everything is fine and suspension won't go through (wouldn't even happen until July)
>earlier, father texts and says I have another notice about needing to pay a reinstatement fee because my license will be suspended
>he has had bad luck with DMV and says it's a scam, I can see where he's coming from
I plan to go Monday morning to figure out what is going on, bringing my receipts of course. I live in Florida if it matters. Is there anything I can do if they decide to fuck me just because they can?

Also, while rereading the form that says the citation was taken care of, there is a thing on the bottom that says I need to take the clearance form to the nearest Driver's License building but it's the same building I paid the thing in, which seems odd. Welp, I'm not too worried.
>>
Sophie Nanningshaw - Sat, 24 Jun 2017 14:08:58 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.517047 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I'm from UK so no experience with DMV but if you have proof that shows it told you it was paid or proof that you've actually paid it you should be able to sort it all out.
>>
Jenny Duckfuck - Sun, 25 Jun 2017 06:17:51 EST ID:FwheuJ8x No.517062 Ignore Report Quick Reply
/law/


Bored by Phineas Dogglelock - Mon, 19 Jun 2017 19:48:01 EST ID:jyRO6BnE No.516982 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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How do I move to a big city living in a place with 0 money and poverty? I just wanna go live in the ghetto
>>
Albert Sommlefield - Mon, 19 Jun 2017 23:42:40 EST ID:0HOTiew5 No.516983 Ignore Report Quick Reply
this thread is the new "do you think these guys are high" thread
>>
Oliver Fedgesteck - Tue, 20 Jun 2017 05:30:48 EST ID:RLopCwes No.516990 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516983
Are homeless shelters the only way?
>>
Hedda Branderstone - Wed, 21 Jun 2017 00:42:23 EST ID:ZvQ3Aa3L No.517000 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I live in Southwest Fl and meet a lot of people living in the woods. Gets fucking humid in summertime though.


I am tired a lot by Esther Pockshaw - Sun, 18 Jun 2017 06:57:47 EST ID:QX1zJHvU No.516952 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Ayy yo bois.

What do you do if you are constantly tired?
I've never realy felt "fresh" or "well-rested" for years.
4 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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Angus Trothall - Mon, 19 Jun 2017 13:52:38 EST ID:80efJqSX No.516974 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What sort of tired OP?

Does it make a difference how much sleep you get?
Does exercise make you extra tired?
>>
Angus Trothall - Mon, 19 Jun 2017 13:57:32 EST ID:80efJqSX No.516975 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516958
Whoops didn't see that.

You sound like you have some serious sleep hygiene problems.

>There's days when I'm devastated exhausted but if I don't fuck up or get unlucky I can mostly avoid them
If you actually respond to good sleep and food then it's probably best you focus on that.

However, if you do focus on that (good sleep hygiene takes at the very least a month before it takes effect, which you don't have to tell me fucking sucks) and it doesn't make a difference, you might want to think about Chronic Fatigue.

Chronic Fatigue fucking sucks.
>>
Sidney Dimmlehat - Mon, 19 Jun 2017 18:12:23 EST ID:ABhdE/Qm No.516980 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516975
My sleep hygiene is only weak in 2 areas. I eat late and screen time, though I've actually just installed f.lux so we'll see if that helps.

I do respond to good sleep most of the time. Though good sleep means 8 hours, less than 7 and I'm going to be struggling to focus all day and less than 6 and my eyes will be heavy.

Maybe my late dinner is just that bad.
>>
Ernest Hirryteg - Tue, 20 Jun 2017 00:15:42 EST ID:80efJqSX No.516985 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516980
The most important thing is consistency than any specific schedule.

Your body starts to expect meals and sleep at the times you give it meals and sleep. If that schedule is all over the place, you'll never be recovering efficiently.

There's nothing incredibly wrong with eating late, so long as you consistently eat late.
>>
Ian Blackstone - Tue, 20 Jun 2017 20:11:59 EST ID:8O3Bx1cK No.516998 Ignore Report Quick Reply
here are some possible causes

SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth) quite common due to antibiotic use)

yeah thats the main one, get your diet together


Have a shitty personality by Wesley Crungerman - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 23:11:07 EST ID:JI9kO00V No.516933 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hey guys. Having trouble with my personality. Apparently I'm very condescending, and people have a sort of attitude when they know I was in the army. Either I'm a "lone wolf" "cocky" condascending dude. What can I do to help deter this behavior.

I need some brutal honesty, and this is only place I can find it.
3 posts and 1 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
>>
Gnarly McGoblin - Sat, 17 Jun 2017 20:27:00 EST ID:FZKVocfD No.516948 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Try to give small compliments every now and then.
When you're a narcissist than that's okay. It's probably a phase.
>>
Gnarly McGoblin - Sat, 17 Jun 2017 20:36:19 EST ID:FZKVocfD No.516949 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Having food or some snacks for your friends is rarely a bad idea. No Bump.
>>
Priscilla Pallerford - Sun, 18 Jun 2017 15:50:52 EST ID:JI9kO00V No.516955 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Well, I guess I'm not sure to be honest. Inherintly, do I always believe what I'm say to be correct? Sure. But I can accept that Im wrong at times too. I'm very critical over silly things sometimes. I dunno. Maybe it's notpicking what others are doing too much?
>>
Sidney Bangermedging - Mon, 19 Jun 2017 11:56:43 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.516971 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>516955

Are you a know it all? As in, do you find yourself correcting people alot?

If that's the case, people typically don't want their 'facts' (opinions) challenged and like their point of view to be respected. Whenever I correct someone, if I even bother to (since it's regarded as rude), I'm very soft about it and dance around the right answer, leading them to find it for themselves.

As far as being harshly critical over small things, you just kind of have to learn to let that go. People are gonna be people, which is they're going to be wrong sometimes, and they're going to want to do things the way they like to do things, even if what you know to be 'correct' doesn't jive with how they operate.

Also, if any of this is true, you have to learn that you are not infallible as well, and you do not know everything. I personally find myself knowing very little when others believe I'm very smart. Even when very competent people regard me with high esteem, I still feel like a little kid eating at the adults table. But I majored in science, which means my brain was molded to question and double check everything, including what I 'know' to be true already.

Anyways, not sure if this applies to you or if I'm just projecting. But from what little you've put forward, there's alot of gaps to fill and conclusions to jump to if I'm going to say anything constructive.
>>
Albert Sommlefield - Mon, 19 Jun 2017 23:57:57 EST ID:0HOTiew5 No.516984 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516971

Indeed, this appears to be a classic situation of an above average intelligence individual lacking tact or empathetic consideration at times when discussing things. This was a big problem for me until I became aware of it. If you are simply superior in some way to another, without considering how you present or use this superiority from others' perspectives, this is likely the core issue. You have to actively select and shape and mold how you talk about stuff so people's ego doesn't get riled up and blind them through emotions as much as you can.


Worrying development in my personality by Hamilton Farrymut - Sun, 18 Jun 2017 21:54:08 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.516960 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So i've lived with mental issues for a long time as many here have.
Recently i've taken to watching disturbing things on the internet when i feel bad, It makes me feel better to see bad things happen to others. I see things that tell me others are also suffering, perhaps not in the same way but still.

But isn't this how the worst people get started? How long till I start murdering animals or perhaps tricking people into fucking their lives up?

Also just checked my search history, it's very depressing and somewhat scary, prompting me to make this post.
>>
Sidney Bangermedging - Sun, 18 Jun 2017 22:48:51 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.516961 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Switch to cute cat videos
>>
Charlotte Mendleden - Mon, 19 Jun 2017 01:05:33 EST ID:UrQwPY3E No.516962 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516961
Watching gore and shit usually isn't very healthy, imho. Like, the times of my life I enjoyed watching gore were really bad times.

That being said, when I'm sad I come to /qq/ to see other peoples problems/lifes are much worse than mine. It's really not that different (it isn't such happy time for me either)
>>
Hamilton Farrymut - Mon, 19 Jun 2017 02:44:01 EST ID:RWMYdvNQ No.516965 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516962
>when I'm sad I come to /qq/ to see other peoples problems/lifes are much worse than mine.
That's what it used to feel like for me, i'd say that's more of getting perspective. Letting yourself see that it's not as bad as you thought. The thing that's beginning to worry me is that i'm not looking for that perspective any more i'm genuinely starting to enjoy the idea of things fucking up. From gore, to people failing at things, even to fantasising about how ruined people were from atomic bombs / natural disasters.

It's not that I feel better about my own problems because other people have it worse anymore, it's that I have started to feel better generally when someone / something is hurt whether it be emotionally or physically.
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Angus Trothall - Mon, 19 Jun 2017 13:49:51 EST ID:80efJqSX No.516973 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>But isn't this how the worst people get started?

No it isn't.
Look up the early lives of people like Ted Bundy and Dalmer if you feel like it. Look up Dylan Roof's confession tape, or the writings of Eric Harris. They are not just people with fascination with violent media, even real violent media. They were specifically driven to violent compulsion and lacked empathy from the word go.

If you've never harmed animals or people and are generally disturbed by the idea you might, you're probably not going to do so no matter how much gore you watch. If you're able to say, "that is wrong and would feel wrong", your conscience works as well as anyone else.

I've seen pretty much every gore video in existence multiple times. The only thing it's changed about me if my ability to make conversation on creepy topics. It's just the world we live in.
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Angus Trothall - Mon, 19 Jun 2017 14:34:45 EST ID:80efJqSX No.516978 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516973

Basically, using violent media as a means of entertainment or emotional control is pretty normal.

Being tortured by violent intrusive thoughts you are actively do not want to have is disordered.


I'm fucking retarded. by Edwin Bridgechotch - Thu, 08 Jun 2017 00:31:05 EST ID:40thZnWT No.516784 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I used to think I was smart but it was just a delusion. My relatives used to have such great expectations of me but being able to do math that's a few years too advanced as a little kid doesn't help me one bit. I did various free online iq tests but I'm pretty sure they show too high numbers. I got such a high score in my countrys aptitude test for higher studies I can go to any education except one but the fact that I wasted more than 5 years trying to study and only got about half a years worth of credit shows that the test wasn't very accurate for me.

There's a lot of stupid people doing alright but for me it's just too severe. I have absolutely no valuable skill and no chance of ever getting one.
In every different thing I've tried to learn, university or by myself, and no matter how I was trying to do it, I always failed in exactly the same way and it was 100% because I'm just too bad.

I got lucky and got and got a very simple job so I'm getting by fine right now. This is pretty good right now, I'm able to save most of the money and get drunk or high by myself sometimes but in the future it just won't be enough (the fact that I mentioned alcohol and weed means some people who didn't read my post well enough will say I'm spending too much on that but that's not the case, when my costs are low I can easily afford a little of it but if I lived alone it's the costs of living that would take my entire salary, not alcohol and weed). I fucking hate still living with my mom and her husband and because of the housing situation in my country I won't be able to move until I'm well into my 30s and then the costs would be so much higher that I'd just barely scrape by for the rest of my life with nothing good to make the struggle worth it. The job is also simple enough to get automated before it's time for me to retire, I would be surprised if there isn't already several prototypes that can do it.

I've done what I can to find some better option than kill myself which means I've just whined on various imageboards.
My current track certainly isn't better than death. Every little problem tortures me greatly and I can…
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
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Nicholas Clubbledock - Thu, 15 Jun 2017 17:44:18 EST ID:e1ptL1WV No.516916 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516915
i guarantee you that isn't the problem.
>>
Hedda Shakeman - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 17:07:13 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.516929 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516900
>Knowing it hasn't helped at all, if that's the only thing that could work then that means that there's nothing that works.
>Knowing it
There's your problem. Knowing that is only half of the solution. The second and most critical half is actually doing it and to quit making bullshit excuses about how you're some how just not capable of it. You're a human being just like everyone else. Other people all have to find their own personal ways to just get the fuck over their crybaby bullshit and do what they have to too, you're not alone in this.

You know what the problem is, now fix it. It's hard, fuckin whatever. The choice between expending some serious effort and actually having your life be worth something or staying like this and keep pretending like you're special and there's some how something weird and wrong with you that condemns you to failure and misery to the point you really don't know what else to do beyond killing yourself is yours. Which sounds worse?
>>
John Worthingspear - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 20:38:47 EST ID:VtF1pc2e No.516931 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516929

You sound like my gf
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Fuck Crunningput - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 21:39:19 EST ID:jXM0/Bh3 No.516932 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516931
He's not helping either.
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Sophie Punningmirk - Sun, 18 Jun 2017 17:06:41 EST ID:omX2BDyl No.516957 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516953
I don't think you've suggested either of those


How the fuck do I avoid killing myself? by Rebecca Diggletet - Fri, 09 Jun 2017 01:34:38 EST ID:nmwUyTqV No.516804 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've got PTSD, possibly (probably) autism, chronic and debilitating suicidal depression and anxiety
I'm a 24 year old trans women (with crippling dysphoria that makes me want to die)

I have been transitioning for five years, since I was 19. It is one of the only things that makes life bearable. I actually pass really well, but the fact that I'm trans at all makes me want to kill myself

I was in 2 very abusive relationships back-to-back that drained me of all my money and left me traumatized and hospitalized for over a month

been recovering for a little over a year now.

i am deeply in debt and i have been crashing at a friend's for like $100 a month bc I am broke. I can't find a real job, so I just work taking care of my 89 year old grandpa who has dementia. i wanted to spend more time with him after my Grandma recently passed away (never lost someone close to me before)

I moved out last year because my two older alcoholic sisters had on separate occasions gotten drunk and attacked/beaten me. I got too afraid to stay around it and moved out. I am constantly feeling guilty and like a burden to my friends who let me live with them. however, my Grandfather is a painter and he gave me a painting (which he has never done for his grandkids)-- point is it was worth like over $10,000 and I asked my roommates to keep it safely in storage, due to the fact that I live in the basement where the wood stove that was in use all Winter is, and I didn't want it to get smoke damage. They left the door to the closet it was stored in open, and their cat got in and scratched up the painting

I have been in a relationship since October. I'm deeply in love but she is also very mentally ill (bipolar, ptsd, depression). I have been with her through an episode where I was able to convince her to do partial hospitalization and drove her to the hospital often
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Nigel Fedgefoot - Tue, 13 Jun 2017 09:49:20 EST ID:AkBTpOns No.516883 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516879
which ready-made little prepackage platitudinous sentiment-in-a-can did you get that one out of?

upon reaching full-awareness and sentience noone *deserves* fucking anything. you need to give in as much as you get out. We are in a constant debt - with exceptions in each - to the planet, parents, loved ones, and every life force we extinguish.

man do people even think when they say stuff like this. Is that all this board is to you? a little circle-tug of insipid thoughtless falsities?
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Fuck Fuckingcocke - Tue, 13 Jun 2017 12:24:29 EST ID:0F+jm0xo No.516884 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516883

I respectfully disagree -- deserving something is totally different than feeling entitled to it.
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Cornelius Fanworth - Wed, 14 Jun 2017 02:08:20 EST ID:80efJqSX No.516895 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516883
>noone *deserves* fucking anything
>We are in a constant debt

I'm somewhat confused as to how these two concept reconcile.
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Hedda Shakeman - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 17:15:42 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.516930 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516884
I think you're arguing semantics here; it's pretty clear to me that's what he meant. I'll agree his choice of words was rather poor, though.
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Hannah Creshhet - Thu, 22 Jun 2017 00:33:48 EST ID:E10J/1rQ No.517004 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516883
>We are in a constant debt [...] to the planet
man do people even think when they say stuff like this. Is that all this board is to you? a little circle-tug of insipid thoughtless falsities?


stuck on a difficult girl by Alice Lightwater - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 14:47:28 EST ID:26NpYx+j No.516928 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I've got 3 girls I could go for at the moment but two of them are just really boring and I know I'm only convincing myself they're tolerable because im in a dry spell, plus one's really fat so there's no way she could be anything other than a bag drainer. However, atm I adore a cute ginger whose addicted to coke and suicidal, but she makes me feel happy shes the only girl i actually listen to when they're talking because i care about what she thinks rather than just nodding and agreeing my way to an orgasm, but she stops replying for days at a time, shes attempted suicide recently, and is just difficult in general but something about her mesmerizes me. Should I follow my heart with her or is there some way I can just break out of it and settle for one of the two chubbier boring ones? I know I sound like a self destructive idiot because I am but I've never met a girl who I relate to like her, abandonment, drug addiction, anger and all the rest we're a perfect fit, and i just dont know how to get her with me properly she has a coke dealer bf shes seeing me behind his back but i want her like I'd marry her im fucked on valium oxy and k atm so im rambling but its all the truth, just would like advice or another perspective
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Nigel Dartdale - Sun, 18 Jun 2017 15:13:46 EST ID:dOHCS57m No.516954 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516928
Get therapy. Sort your shit out. Don't pick any of the above girls. One you're not attracted to, one you're not interested in and one is clearly a really fucking bad idea and you will make both your lives worse if you enter a relationship. Be not a drug addicted mess, have some self respect. Keep fucking the other two as long as they don't think that there's any potential for a relationship there.

What you wanted to hear was "follow your heart" but you posted this thread because you already know that's a fucking awful idea.

though if you don't listen how do you know the other girls don't have a lot to say?

but more seriously you are a bit of a wreck, sort your shit while you still can and see how your taste in girls changes

Good luck.


Need help by Ebenezer Clavingkut - Wed, 14 Jun 2017 16:40:04 EST ID:RLopCwes No.516909 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I used to be like everyone else. I used to be perfectly fine but now I'm fucked up. I'm constantly thinking about my future relationships and every time I see a girl doing porn/being treated like a slut/assaulted anything like that I think about it being my future wife or daughter or something.

It's sketching me the fuck out I can't go a second without thinking like that. Its fucking with my sex drive and thoughts and making me really unable to have sex I'm either way too turned on or completely asexual.

I can't stop this I just want to go back to normal. I've been gaining weight, haven't dated in years, have weird fucked up thought, anxiety attacks, cutting off social contact. I'm really fucked. Every time I hear about a girl having sex or something I think it's happening to my soul mate or future wife or whatever.


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