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thought-patterns and feelings in schizophrenia by Fuck Bunderlock - Mon, 29 May 2017 10:38:22 EST ID:Ylzl+ePE No.516588 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1496068702761.jpg -(61665B / 60.22KB, 655x527) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 61665
Hey,
is there anybody with personal knowledge about the thought-patterns in schizophrenia? Ive had the disease, or atleast signs and signals of it for all my life and I don't really know what parts of my thinking are part of the disease and what parts are just every day thinking.
I'm a bit obsessed about it atm.
>>
Fanny Duckbanks - Mon, 29 May 2017 18:21:15 EST ID:UrQwPY3E No.516596 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516592
Logic is filled with schizos. Have you actually studied logic? No one can stay sane too long studying that shit.

Talk to your friends and family man, they'll be a more sure measure of what is real and what is part of your condition.
>>
Phyllis Gaffingfield - Tue, 30 May 2017 06:17:41 EST ID:zbKXnohS No.516602 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Schizophrenic thought used to be known as autistic thinking (this was before memes and the very diagnosis of autism in itself - in its original incarnation, 'autism' merely referred to pathological morbid self-obsession/rumination as a symptom of schizophrenia, then known as dementia praecox). Autistic thinking refers to logic that is generated entirely by the internal world. For those of us not in the schizophrenia spectrum, our logic systems have been shaped and defined by the external for pretty much our entire lives. Axioms, rules, and the very structures of the universe are filtered down from higher institutions and embedded into our personalities from the moment we are bred onto this Earth, and they shape the foundation for what our beliefs become as we grow older.

For the schizophrenic in active psychosis? External rules are meaningless. The internal world, the world of fantasy, introspection, and self-reflection, consumes the external world of third-party axioms, of rules, of the laws of physics in itself. None of that matters when you're psychotic. Only whatever the schizophrenic's mind is preoccupied with at the moment, matters to the schizophrenic's reality.

All people experience autistic thinking and rational thinking at various points in our lives. For most, their brief, fantastical, and unrealistic moments of autistic thinking are filtered away as fantasy or day dreaming. The time you rode to Pluto on an elephant, the time you conquered the world by cornering the market on Jelly Beans, the time you went back in time to 15th century England and beat down everyone else in the War of the Roses to proclaim yourself king. Non-psychotics realize when they're being silly, and organize their periods of silliness accordingly. For the psychotic, this process simply never occurs. Somewhere along the line where the daydream meets reality, the process is perverted.
>>
Archie Nummerhall - Tue, 30 May 2017 10:46:11 EST ID:Ylzl+ePE No.516607 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516602
That sort of gives me a look into what might be unnormal in my thinking and what might be normal, thanks.
I see my daily thoughts much more clearly now, many of them seem to be psychotic, but I can handle.
>>
Graham Billingson - Wed, 07 Jun 2017 16:14:33 EST ID:k/YC6bzW No.516776 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516607
Have you considered using other people? Someone you trust, to give you perspective on what is really going on and what not.
Hopefully you'll start seeing patterns in what is real and what isn't, and learn to notice them on your own.
>>
Ernest Gendleshaw - Wed, 07 Jun 2017 17:14:26 EST ID:RzdtL4iO No.516778 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If you have disorganized repetitive and intrusive thoughts that you cant control then your definitely 100% Schizo.


Yea by Jack Mizzlebeck - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 19:23:48 EST ID:RLopCwes No.516756 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1496791428171.jpg -(46991B / 45.89KB, 400x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 46991
>talk to qt online
>we get along really good she's sending nudes
>she uses the camera app and always messages me back fast
>can't shake the fact that something is fishy

Kik has a thing where it shows two versions of a deliver message a solid D symbol which means they got the message and opened kik but haven't opened your convo. The other D symbol is transparent and usually means that they got your message delivered to their phone but they haven't checked kik yet.

Every time I message this girl she messages me back right away and her thing is always on the solid d like she's checking her messages (from other people) and there's times when I message her and get no answer and surprise there's no solid d it's transparent.

It's weird because I messaged her at like 5 am her time and got no answer but the d went solid showing she had kik open.

Is it just a phone error or maybe unlocking your phone with the messages on your lock screen do it or something?
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Archie Snodwell - Wed, 07 Jun 2017 12:04:51 EST ID:sXAIj5h1 No.516770 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Chicks flake out all the time.

Smoke more and chill out
>>
Doris Secklebanks - Wed, 07 Jun 2017 13:02:04 EST ID:HkMncnXO No.516771 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516756
Kik is HUGE for catfishing clickbait type shit, probably the biggest app of it's kind for that kinda thing. U been warned
>>
Augustus Chembleridge - Wed, 07 Jun 2017 13:20:37 EST ID:fnpFc8oK No.516772 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516771
Rule 1 of meeting people on the internet is never get the feels before you meet them.

OP enjoy the nudes but don't even count on them being hers for the time being.
>>
Nigel Pitthood - Wed, 07 Jun 2017 15:40:07 EST ID:RLopCwes No.516774 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516771
I add them on sm and get their phone number
>>
Shit Cunkinfuck - Fri, 09 Jun 2017 11:32:08 EST ID:2c08/Cs/ No.516817 Ignore Report Quick Reply
That "read/unread" convo shit is the exact reason why I turned off that setting on whatsapp. I used to stress over "last seen online xxx" whenever I was msging a qt but after I turned that shit off I stopped stressing over whether or not the bish read my msg or not.

Check your privacy settings and turn that shit off


Dying soon want a peaceful death away fro everyone's by Martin Faddlenat - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 23:26:58 EST ID:+eu7fILs No.516731 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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What do I do if I'm constantly sick and tired. I mean every second of being awake my body aches, I feel tired, I have pulsating headaches every second and I have to take pills constantly for pain. I'm taking them more and more and everything gets worse I can't get a full night sleep I have restless leg syndrome that's so bad it hurts like fucking crazy all night long I can barely get up the stairs anymore I also either ha e no appetite at all or I just can't stop fucking ey like pounds and pounds of junk food and I just want to eat until I puke.

It hurts so fucking much I think I'm out my time is up. I'm pretty sure I have to get ssi and just wait to die and with all this pain I'm having I don't think it'll take long my healthy keeps getting dramatically worse and worse I don't know wat to do. I also have PTSD fucking bad and still live in the same sad house with all my problems so every day is crippling depression and I can't do anything about it I just have. I is images of killing myself every day

I require so much sleep it's fucking rediculous I need 12 hours of sleep a night and a nap and 2 resting periods a day. Weed is literally the only thing that helps but smoking 10-20 dollars worth of weed every day is just impossible. It's fuckinglike 600 dollars a month. I feel so much like shit I just want to get ssi and smoke weed and lay in my death bed until the sweet release of death takes away all this misery.
>>
Basil Soblingfuck - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 00:19:35 EST ID:D6Nw402O No.516733 Ignore Report Quick Reply
you didnt actually name any disease?

grow up and work out
>>
Martin Faddlenat - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 00:47:48 EST ID:+eu7fILs No.516734 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516733
Oh working out I never thought of that ok thank you
>>
Rebecca Ballershit - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 14:47:46 EST ID:VTHJWnFl No.516745 Ignore Report Quick Reply
The thing about sleep is that if you sleep too much it makes you tired. And depressed. Which makes you tired and depressed so you sleep more.

The thing about lying in bed in pain and depression is that it makes the pain and depression worse.

You have two choices OP. Make an effort or don't even fucking post. We can't do anything for you, we can't make anything better. We can only offer you insight based on our own limited but sometimes relevant experience.

The right amount of sleep, a good diet and exercise cure very little (though if I had to bet on them curing someone on the front page right now it'd be you hands down) but they help enough that they are worth the effort. But you have to make effort.

You're sitting thinking about killing yourself because it's easier, but only in the short run. You're stuck in a rut where you just take the slightly easier short run decision even though your life is harder every day as a result. Your dreaming of death is procrastinating living because just telling yourself you'll kill yourself is the easiest thing to do. Smoking weed isn't even helping, it's just making you numb and lazy and again worse off.

If you have PTSD and are near the source the first thing to do is extricate yourself from that. You're pretty non specific so enjoy your non specific advice. Get a diagnosis and some funding or something. SSI would mean you could move out and start healing. The fact is that you just have to soldier through your sickness and tiredness. Not because that's fair or reasonable but because that is the only way you will enact change. It's that or another few decades of this... existence. This isn't life. You can't kill yourself, because if nothing changes your life already ended a while ago and you've been dying the whole time. That's the thing about suicide, you think it'll be good or easy? If not doing suicide is hard and brutal dying is going to be worse.
>>
Samuel Brookfoot - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 18:30:58 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.516754 Ignore Report Quick Reply
magic mushrooms are the most effective headache medicine known to man. I suggest you find someone you love to guide you if you do it though because of the ptsd and all.
>>
Nathaniel Fiddlehit - Wed, 07 Jun 2017 08:29:46 EST ID:ofwPQObs No.516762 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I'm assuming you lock yourself in your room most of the day with the curtains closed and lights off. Spend some of your day outside. Go to a park and sit in the grass and read or something. You need fresh air and sunlight.

You should also eat healthy and exercise like previous posters said, but typically depressed people are going to have a hard time committing to doing that. But it works.


Am I being fucked with by Jack Pushford - Sun, 21 May 2017 13:14:20 EST ID:13pkC2bm No.516384 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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In the past whenever shit like this has went down, the first thing I've done is run to /qq/ to ask you guys opinion, but I've been kinda hesitant to do it this time because I know how cynical this board seems to be in general when it comes to women and I have a feeling that I know exactly what you're going to say. Now that's not to say you're WRONG on the matter, but just hear me out on this one.

A couple of really hot 17 year olds (I'm 24) joined my team a few weeks ago and since getting to know them I have pretty much been getting some really, REALLY awkward flirting off the 2 of them. Like, they are "mature for their age" for 17 year olds means they just want to talk about shagging all the time. I'm outgoing and I'm not ugly enough for it to be an issue, but I am horribly sexually anxious and basically every time I've been in a relationship it's been me getting pursued by the girl until she finally kinda forces herself on me, this is the only way I have ever had sex or been in a relationship. So I'm constantly coming up with reasons in my own head why NOT to go for shit which is where the basis for all this stuff comes from.

Am I just being horribly fucked with to inflate the ego of these 2 girls? Like, I don't seize up and get really awkward when they start talking about who could give the best blowjob, but I can see there's probably something entertaining about my reaction when they are having competitions to draw me and arguing over how big they should draw the bulge in my trousers. Both of them are fun to hang about with and talk to, but the endless sexual innuendos get kinda annoying, and also come with the side effect of making me totally fucking fancy both of them.

Now, one of them (who has just turned 18, so able to come to the clubs) was all like "so, when you gonna take me out on a date then?" which I took to mean that she wants me to take her out on a date, but when I have brought this up again her reaction has been like "if you want to yeah you can take us both out on a date!" which sounds to me more like me paying for 2 girls dinner and not an awful lot like a date at all. The same thing happened when I of…
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Basil Nillerputch - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 20:50:36 EST ID:J6KyYR1G No.516728 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516727
how did he choose dignity? explain. OP wanted to bang, she wanted to bang.

sounds like the girl wanted to have sex and is disappointed OP didn't make a move and go for it. that's why she's giving mixed signals
>>
Rebecca Nicklecocke - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 22:00:39 EST ID:WCiWyIpM No.516730 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516699
good to hear little nigga, glad you had fun with cute girl
glad to hear you pop that cherri boii

however, about the girl.
she is feeling sad. don't try to figure this out, you won't. when i used to do a lot of drugs and drink i used to never stay the night, because i learned that i always felt depressed afterward, i was never quite as much fun the day after the night. i know basically nobody is, but i just couldn't connect with people, i didn't want to. i just wanted to be alone. from what you've described it sounds like she had the same thing i got. she's just a kid too

or who the fuck knows maybe she's fine beep boop little nigga cherri popp etc etc
>>
David Fanbury - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 17:10:14 EST ID:sv+ckXfZ No.516751 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>516728
>>516727
>she wanted to bang.
Eehhhhh
If she wanted to then we would have. She had the power there, I just was never gonna be pushy. Like I said, we were probably a bit wasted to fuck at the end of the night and in the morning she wasn't being very receptive at all.

And if you're right (I don't think you are though) and she IS disappointed because I didn't fuck her, let her be, I've overthought this situation enough. She shouldn't constantly talk about wanting to fuck me if she's going to act coy when we're lying in bed making out and then get annoyed with me that I didn't go for it.

>>516730
Naa I mean, she wasn't being funny or weird all of a sudden, was more just wasn't as up for it as she was the night before. We still spent a few hours together and had a laugh talking about how much fun we'd had and work shit.

I do know the feeling you're talking about though, it wasn't that.

Pic related is from the party we were at. There's another picture of me with the two of them but there was some guy there who was 17 and he had brought his girlfriend who had brought her friends and swear down some of them look like fucking 10 year olds so it wouldn't be good for the whole "not a paedo" look if I posted the picture with all of us.
Because I heavy do just look like a pedo[%]
>>
Cedric Trotwell - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 17:43:05 EST ID:FjM/YP+c No.516752 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP is a drugged up gentleman.

Hard combo to find these days.
>>
Rebecca Nicklecocke - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 18:04:28 EST ID:WCiWyIpM No.516753 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516751
yo good job buddy
she looks cute af

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XdpjgbWiHQ

yo post that other pic mah man


Randomly in unbearable pain by Jack Mizzlebeck - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 13:54:21 EST ID:RLopCwes No.516740 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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So the other day I woke up and my lower back hurt like ticking crazy and I've had the worst case of rls I've ever had. I can't even sleep anymore wtf do I do? It's day 2 and my back is so fucking sore for no reason idk what to do

I'm going to a dr but wtf could this be? It's so strange just to have random muscle pains without doing and strenuous.

Should I stretch my back a lot or leave it alone?
>>
Augustus Domblestone - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 13:59:32 EST ID:LVLZpkrK No.516741 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>516740
get a memory foam mattress first of all, they're the shit. Made to prevent stuff like this from even occuring. secondly, and this may be a bit controversial, but i would suggest developing a heroin addiction. Boom, no more aches and pains, unless yourun out of course. then go see a chiropractor because few people are going to tell you more than "lol ya slept on it wrong leave it alone". Get a professional behind you and have them check out your backside....then get behind them and check out their backside. if dat ass won't quit then go ahead and hit.
>>
Sophie Chossleheck - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 16:48:15 EST ID:0HOTiew5 No.516750 Ignore Report Quick Reply
put heat on your lower back.


Parents and crying by Hamilton Fungertack - Wed, 31 May 2017 19:13:59 EST ID:zXWPadEm No.516633 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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It's not normal to somewhat regularly cry when you think about your parents right? They've been so fucked over by life, by capitalism. The dregs of society, just used up, cast aside and forgotten about. My Dad has worked hard his whole life, even served 7 years in the army. Yet he's just left to wither by himself, chainsmoking himself to an early grave. He has never hurt anyone, is just an all around really polite and friendly guy who likes to read history books and listen to Elvis.

Don't even get me started on my mother. Being abandoned by her parents when she was 18 (effectively), getting addicted to heroin and overcoming that, a series of physically and psychologically abusive boyfriends (some of the beatings which I often had to witness as a kid), her incapacity and inability to progress in life beyond this small shitty town because the only money she ever makes is money to live, her crippling depression and talk of suicide, the loneliness, the emptiness, the way she pushes me away when I try to hug her when she starts talking about how lonely she is. The genuine feeling of isolation she feels in that, when she genuinely doesn't even want her own son to comfort her. Despite all this she is an amazing woman - intelligent, beautiful, kind, quirky, adventurous. I am crying so fucking much right now, I am going to miss both of them so much when they go, fuck I can't even fathom.

God it's so fucking depressing. I'm the only one who cares about my parents. I've had this for years but it's really starting to catch up on me now. The pressure and the sadness is so immense. Between my parents and all the other unrelated problems I have right now I feel so emotionally fucked up and so so so stressed out and depressed. Some of my friends know I'm not that happy at the moment but aren't really sure why, some of my closer friends know my problems, including none of this, but none of them, not even my girlfriend, know how it really makes me feel. They don't know how much I cry.

Somebody please help.
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Basil Chickleshaw - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 11:52:21 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.516672 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516657
I think you need to take a step back and take a break from all this focusing and concern with the negativity you witness and experience within your life and try to appreciate some things to help prevent these thoughts from forming feedback loops that just cause you to cyclically (and potentially endlessly) feel and perceive the negative aspects of reality and existence.

For instance, on a more personal note, be grateful for the fact that you're capable of caring so deeply about people that you're able to feel this way about someone else, and even more so for the fact that you have people like this that exist or existed at some point in your life. Pointing out that some people don't have any relationships like this (and more specifically with their parents or family), or might not even be capable of experiencing those kinds of emotions because some kind of psych disorder (like psychopathy or brain damage whatever) isn't meant to remind you that some people are suffering in ways that you aren't, but to emphasize the fact that what you've experienced and are capable of experiencing is something that's a result of forces and systems that are remarkably complex and to know what it's like to be able to exist in such a state of being and to actually exist in that state of being is something incredibly special and unique when you consider how easy it would be for you to exist as anything else or in any other type of state as a person/conscious being and never one like this, and you'd be completely oblivious to it.

There are a lot of things like that in life that we take for granted that you can actually invest some time in and think about. The feelings, understandings, and the experience of consciously acknowledging how good a lot of things are in your life counter negative thought streams and help prevent convincing yourself that the existence you have is much, much worse than it actually could be (and from an outside perspective, probably is). Focusing on how fucked over you are by simply having to perform the act of living, and especially on how bad and corrupt the systems you exist as a part of are can naturally only lead to one prevailaing thing: t…
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Martin Diblingfuck - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 20:37:05 EST ID:D6Nw402O No.516678 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i thought i was the only one!
i dont cry complete rivers but i do tear up from time to time, life is so complete fucking absurd and shit i dont even know how they're still breathing, working, broke and miserable in their 60s? like holy shit they had to bury their firstborn child after going through excessive amounts of financial bullshit to afford his higher education. what the fuck is up with that?

thanks OP, now im drugging myself to cope
>>
Thomas Sorringkadging - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 22:38:43 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.516679 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516672
>but provided you wish to reduce or experience less suffering, you are always a potential means to that end.
but provided you wish to reduce or experience less suffering, you are always a potential means to ***its*** end. *
>>
Ebenezer Crimmerson - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 11:42:56 EST ID:LPZkd4CV No.516739 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I can't stop the crying. Every time I visit my mother she always tells me how depressed she is, how fucked her life has been, how she'll never get back 30+ years of being loved by her family. There's nothing I can do. I try to be nice, I try to motivate her, but she is so sapped of hope, happiness. A walking corpse.

I can't take it anymore. I feel like I'm going crazy. I visited my Dad over the weekend, and when I left he called me up the next day, while drunk, and told me he misses me and that I wish I was still there. It kills me. I know he's happy on the outside, he's a really polite and friendly guy, but I wonder just how lonely he is on the inside.

I wish there was more I could do. Ideally I would see my parents all the time, but they live in different places, I have my own life to live. I just don't know what to do. I'm so sick of crying, being sad, being emotional. If it's not my parents it's losing a best friend of 6 years to my ex, or being falsely accused of rape by some crazy bitch, or having an argument with my girlfriend because she is also super depressed as a result of being overworked, having a cancerous father and losing her 1 year old nephew to brain cancer. I feel so overwhelmed, how am I even coping, wtf
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Clara Neddledore - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 15:47:08 EST ID:E2a2ZttP No.516749 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516633

Someone just shut the window when the wind brings your crying. I don't. I mentally press you to my heart. Cry, girl. That's not bad.


I don't know what to do by Eugene Blillerridge - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 07:35:42 EST ID:gHcal0F0 No.516738 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I'm losing my shit because i can't fucking act on anything. I met this girl a few weeks ago and she's awesome and funny and she's got so much energy. And I on the other hand am just a lazy ass bitch so fucking afraid to make a move because i feel like I will scare her away. She invited me to everything over the weekend. And here I am still doubting that I have a chance. I don't know why. I wasn't always like this, I had no problems like this in high school, but 5 years later I just freeze. This happens every time I try to give a fuck. And I genuinely give a fuck about her.
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Hugh Sangershaw - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 14:53:40 EST ID:UrQwPY3E No.516746 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516738
There is no easy way to say this, but you gotta suck it up. Sometmes the simplest thing is the most difficult. You just gotta get up and do something. If she's asking you out then just say it sounds like a great idea and meet her. She's making it easy on you.

Something I've done to help myself do stuff is write stuff I want/need to do on a paper, and stick it in my door
>>
Eliza Borrybanks - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 15:29:47 EST ID:e1ptL1WV No.516748 Ignore Report Quick Reply
commitment self worth are tied in odd ways.

The fact that you write you weren't like this in highschool is telling. Perhaps now some part of you wants the intimidating she's the one narrative to play out. Because it didn't in the past. I wouldn't suggest it's your confidence fading. More like longing and pining. When you care about something it makes you act on it, but it also makes you see it in a heightened state or a magnified state. This isn't you being lazy. So much as really paying attention to something that seems very real that you have gotten closer to that has been a challenge.

And you have had experience with it in the past. Perhaps before the realness of the lust for life and love acted as an exhubricant. A lubricating exhilarrating side of yourself that fluidily changed confidence.

Now it's more like the bar exam you've taken a million times. It used to throw you curves and this and that. But you've taken it enough times you are about to pass it. And the sudden inching closer of an impossible task is now coming closer to you.

It's more like this time the realness is that of pushing through vertigo.

commitment always faces this. At first it faces having it's enthusiasm questioned by people saying it doesn't know what it's getting into. Then it faces accusations from the scenario in the forms of fear as it does get into it. then it faces accusations of lethargy as it gets closer to it's goal, decrying it for thinking it does not deserve it.


Depending on how many times you rode the horse, each reaction to getting back on will stir different feelings.


just wanna talk by Fuck Bugglecocke - Sat, 25 Feb 2017 23:15:30 EST ID:whZm+REk No.513835 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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hey /qq/
just wanted to get some things off my chest.
I want to kill myself. I want all of these things to end.
I'm a drug addict. I know I should quit, but fuck that just seems impossible, even when everything in my life says I should quit.

Im a mtf trans but I still look like a dude so much even after starting hormones. Noone wants to date me, at all. (Gay) Men want me for sex, women find me grotesque. Ive had women laugh in my face when they found out. People say I'm a good looking man, but I'm not a man :(.

I cant even have casual sex if I wanted to (which I dont, at all). My ass is messed up from being raped, so its crazy tight and bleeds all the time, even when I poop, much less something going inside it. And trying to be the penetrative partner is usually a clusterfuck, either I cum super fast or I dont cum at all and cant keep it up.

Its hard being alone, but Ive been getting used to it. At this point I'm so much of a weirdo freak I cant imagine anyone actually being with anyone. Only God knows how I managed to meet women in the past, but I can't fuckin do it now. Sigh, I'm such a freak. I miss my exs all the time, wish I hadn't broken up with them. But I did, and now theyre both way happier, they both got married in the past 6 months (to men) and they seem much much happier. Certainly happier than theyd be with me. So I'm glad for them (honestly).

I dont really have any real friends. But I guess thats just cuz I'm an asshole and a piece of shit. Honestly its probably better for people to stay away from me.

I'm not totally broke now, so at least I have that going for me. But ugh its been such a shitty weekend, spent so much money and its all because of drugs.
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Augustus Brabblekerk - Sun, 26 Feb 2017 02:12:27 EST ID:zbKXnohS No.513838 Ignore Report Quick Reply
if long-term psychotherapy, HRT, psychiatric drugs, meditation, bullshit self-help books/groups, fad diets, credulous nootropics, seeking god etc. doesn't work rec drugs are the only thing that will salve the pain on this earth

sorry, OP. practice harm reduction and disregard self-righteous faggots.
>>
Charlotte Duttingham - Sun, 26 Feb 2017 03:40:30 EST ID:Lga8AOAo No.513839 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Honestly, it's going to take a lot of work for you to be happy again.

You need to feel comfortable with yourself first.

Make yourself feel pretty again, if youre trans, I recommend a low calorie diet in addition to cardio and leg exercises. Also, yoga!

Depending on what drugs you use, stop or switch. Most opioids and stims are shit. Find something cheap and easy on your health.

Most importantly, stop having anal sex until you heal. If a guy only wants you for that, he's prob just going to leave. Start a real relationship.

This is all easier said than done, but just working on yourself a little bit every day can make you feel happy even if youre not getting results. Making an effort shows you aren't just giving up.

Hope everything works out, I feel for you.
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Nicholas Gengerchetch - Sun, 26 Feb 2017 23:30:54 EST ID:whZm+REk No.513849 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513838
>>513839

Thank you so much
<3
Things are looking better :)
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Eliza Cammerstore - Tue, 28 Feb 2017 16:28:43 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.513883 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513849
Idk how long you've been using hormones, but I think a big part of this might just be from getting used to that. Anyway, you're not really alone in being alone, people who aren't trans can often feel like a weirdo or a freak just the same. I know that shouldn't be something you take comfort in really, others' suffering isn't something to feel better about, but it's nice knowing you aren't alone in how you're feeling even if you are physically. Give life and yourself some time to transition. I know relationships are important to most people, but finding good ones that last can take a lot of time and entail a lot of loneliness until you find someone worthwhile.

I know saying tough it out doesn't really help things, but hang in there regardless. Things always seem really bad at the time, but later on you look back and feel as though you could've endured more if you had to. Given enough time, given we aren't talking about a traumatic experience, usually the mind prunes out enough of the bad that you find some things you actually miss. This isn't something you can't handle, even if it's endlessly tiring and demoralizing. It'll pass and you'll be glad you waited.
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Basil Dunnerfuck - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 15:28:38 EST ID:5gtYICuw No.516747 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Damn OP's post hit me right in the feels. Been needing to vent for a while, and this feels like as good a place as any. I'm mtf as well, and still look like a guy.

I've got a couple close friends, but really wish I had more. It feels completely impossible for me to connect with most people anymore, even to the level of friendly acquaintance. One of my long term relationships completely shattered my self-esteem, and ability to trust people. He slowly nurtured a state of emotional dependence on him, then got extremely anti trans in a very passive aggressive way. That relationship + being treated like a freak by a couple people close to me that I trusted enough to come out to has resulted in this weird complex where my default assumption is that should anyone find out I'm trans they'll just treat me like a freak too.

I want to die. Everything I've ever loved in life has been ruined by my being trans. I've tried to change how i feel(identifying as trans) through force of will, drugs, and self harm. I've come to accept myself, even if on some level I still really fucking wish I wasn't trans sometimes.

I self sabotage, usually in small ways, but every now and then in a massive way. One of these massive ways was recently. I met a guy online, and we traded a few pictures( nothing explicit, I'm very modest outside of relationships). Things seemed like they were going decently, it felt like we wanted the same thing(being flirty/ friends online, and, big maybe, meeting some day. So anyway he wanted a picture after I visited the stylist, no big deal normally; however the three days leading up to this I'd pulled pretty much a 72 hr day to crank out a lot of work. My only intake during this 72 hr period was coffee and cigarettes, in addition to that I'd spent the whole morning getting shitty drunk cause I'd finished my project. So knowing there is no way I could look anything short of awful I did my hair in a way that while cool, highlights my more masculine features. I know terrible idea, like by any metric. I've realized why I did it, He's the first guy I've had an actual crush on in years, and that scared me to my very fucking core. …
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Help by Jarvis Pickson - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 08:25:47 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.516692 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1496579147989.jpg -(177878B / 173.71KB, 750x1334) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 177878
Not an opiate user and never have been, honestly pretty against it seeing as it took some close friends

But is it kinda fucked up if I thought she was hotter on dope?
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Jarvis Pickson - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 08:35:39 EST ID:vKvaev27 No.516693 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Fuck, posted this on the wrong board. Mods, delete
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Alice Cettingwen - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 09:43:08 EST ID:n1yNxChx No.516694 Ignore Report Quick Reply
she's pretty cute but i like the left one better
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James Suffingtene - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 06:15:29 EST ID:+HH8xMiF No.516736 Ignore Report Quick Reply
She's half naked in the right one, it's normal to be more horny from that. She looks like a prostitute which means there's a higher chance for sex.

Her face was much better in the left image, 7/10 vs 3/10.


Crazy friends by Phineas Pesslechedge - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 03:38:58 EST ID:+eu7fILs No.516715 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I have 1 or 2 people I'm forced to hang out with because I live in a small town with no one else and they are the biggest ass holes I've ever met. I only hang out with one of them once in awhile to smoke weed but Jesus Christ they're always condensending and yelling and just being general fucking ass holes. It makes no sense they're saying shit that would make a normal person want to fight them but we're supposed to be friends and they're all small as duck and pussies compared to me like it wouldn't be that hard to beat their ass but I'm not really like that tofrirnds it just seems strange.
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Phineas Pesslechedge - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 16:21:43 EST ID:+eu7fILs No.516722 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516716
T. Someone who's mom bought them a car, has an easy life, and doesn't have to commute 4 hours to work at Burger King
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Phineas Pesslechedge - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 16:24:03 EST ID:+eu7fILs No.516723 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516719
When I'm high as fuck off weed and in another planet my first thought isn't really to go and get punched in the face
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Jarvis Sassleham - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 18:18:44 EST ID:Oi3cEJjf No.516724 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516722
>has ability to buy weed
I'm not sure if you want help or .you just want to whine. Your situation is hard and it's going to require some gritting of teeth and long term vision but it's escapable and if you want confirmation to the opposite you're not going to get it from anyone who truly wants the best for you.

On the front page is another thread in which someone outlines a plan to escape to a bigger city.

Read that and have a think. Or do what the other guy says and make friends worth shit.

Or don't post further.
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Eugene Sazzlegold - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 20:51:29 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.516729 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516723
Didn't you say"they're small as [f]uck and pussies compared to me"? Who's going to punch you in the face? Your "friend"?

And if he does, so what? If he's small and a pussy compared to you it won't hurt, on top of that you're high. Give him a reason not to try and hit you in the face when you're high as fuck off weed and in another planet or after hitting you in the face next time.

All your response did is confirm to me that you're more than likely just as big a faggot as those guys are in the first place, and that's why you're stuck hanging out with them to get your weed and shit. It's probably the case nobody else is even willing to hang out with you.

How exactly was starting this thread any different than what your loud jackass friends do by trying to act cool and try to start fights with people who they know won't actually respond to their challenges? You went online and started talking shit about these guys to random people online about how gay they are for talking shit about people trying to start shit (presumably because it makes them feel powerful), talking about how small they are and that they're total pussies. I responded by telling you to actually physically engage with them in a playful yet real enough manner that you'd have to back up what you said and possibly earn some respect from them in the process, but you responded like the faggot i suspected you were.

"No no man why would I want to fight these guys when I was really high? Don't wanna get punched in the face," lmao, so don't do it while you're high then man. That's the shittiest excuse ever man, hahaha. Not only did you pick the easiest and most appealing reason to avoid a possible conflict given your audience (a board for drug users), but you even went and revealed you know full and well the pussy you're being on an unconscious level by admitting you'd get punched in the face and saying that with a finality to it that suggests it would somehow almost be unreasonable for you to kick his ass or fight him back in response.

...you know, like you were thinking that scenario through your typical mi…
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Martin Faddlenat - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 23:30:48 EST ID:+eu7fILs No.516732 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516729
People only wait till I'm high to pick on me because I'm peaceful and nice and I'm disabled as fuck a punch to my head hurts ten times more than the average person. I get headaches just from looking at bright lights.


City by Lillian Sammletidge - Sat, 03 Jun 2017 22:12:35 EST ID:+eu7fILs No.516684 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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How do I move to a big city from my small town? It's so fucking expensive
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Fuck Fanningspear - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 12:48:34 EST ID:tDYfPpq4 No.516700 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516688
Get a jerb that doesn't need college.
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Lillian Sammletidge - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 14:31:22 EST ID:+eu7fILs No.516701 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516700
Yes I'm sure they'll hire workers 100s miles away for an entry level job when they have 8000 people applying every second
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Ernest Grimbury - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 03:06:03 EST ID:PhlR3Lle No.516713 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>516701
Yeah...

with that attitude I don't think you'll be moving anywhere soon

>source: moved from a small town to big city
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Ernest Grimbury - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 03:24:53 EST ID:PhlR3Lle No.516714 Ignore Report Quick Reply
1496647493231.jpg -(318251B / 310.79KB, 1600x1001) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>516701
Same guy here; I didn't mean to come off so rude, but if you're going to do this you've got to cut that attitude.

I moved from my parents basement in a small town to a big city; this was four years ago, and I now have a decent 2 Bedroom apartment, a job, and 2 cats.

Here's my how-to, it worked for me and I'm sure it's worked for others too

>Step 1

Start saving now. You're living somewhere right now that is stable enough for you to have internet. Cut as many expenses as you can, I mean take it down to the bare essentials my man. Put every paycheck you get into a savings account.
Don't go out for drinks
Don't buy weed or eat out
Save for 6 months of life without working
It'll be hard, but remind yourself that this saving will let you have a much better situation later.
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Fucking Pockhall - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 19:33:10 EST ID:0HOTiew5 No.516726 Ignore Report Quick Reply
living in a city is a mistake. you want to live in a suburb on the outer metropolitan outskirts of a city. the comfy middle. want the rat race? go into the city. want the nature? go further out of the city. also considerably more affordable.


Socially, At Work by awkward - Wed, 24 May 2017 20:31:56 EST ID:n1yNxChx No.516463 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
File: 1495672316570.jpg -(48913B / 47.77KB, 550x413) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 48913
Hey guys. Long story short I suck at existing in a social environment. Anxiety and depression were huge for me growing up, and now at 24 I find myself conspicuously undeveloped here. It's obvious. I hate it, but it's true. I come across as quite childish. I don't think I've ever had a workplace where I wasn't hated. It's always awkward, and I realize I put people through a massive amount of bullshit because of it. It sucks! I don't want to be that guy. Everybody seems fine, niceish, whatever.

So, I started a new job today. It was.. Alright. Sort of. I can't ask for better than keeping my head down and trying to do a good job at whatever I happen to be doing. This job is a good one too. It's in a kitchen. How do I not fuck this up in the long run? I'm not expecting miracles; I just want this to be okay. Anybody have advice?

Have you ever worked with someone who was terribly awkward? What was it like, how did you deal with it? Have you ever been said person? Did you overcome it?
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Alice Fonningstatch - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 17:29:26 EST ID:e1ptL1WV No.516675 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516666
i've been there man. The guy you responded to is only right, if you force yourself in the sense of going to work and not caring. Which is intellgent. The force is more like despite hearing derision, looking down on you and judgement, you intellgently go through it.

If i could paint an analogy it would be like you are right from a stand point of seeking and knowing human connection that is ethical and compatible. Empathy. then there is sympathy.

Sympathy is more physical. Sympathy already recognizes that people do that to people, so you don't really try to prove yourself in the eyes of others. empathetically as a hardcore ethic you are asking why isn't it functioning in the right dynamic. Sympathetically people are often that condscending, that's why pity is so hard to tolerate, because it's coating the judgement and appraisal with compassion, which is more so they aren't seen in the wrong.

You kind of have to approach it as not as ethical, and that they skipped business ethics. Save that for your own conception. But if you can't do that you aren't wrong.

You aren't lazy, these people are impulsive in there work place unfairness, or judgement. It's like a compulsive behavior. It's the need to have complication. Like the "politics of dancing, the politics of feeling good." why is that even there. Because it's taking an environment of discontent and bickering it and superimposing it on a workplace environment to hot shot the environment actually being significant or meaningful. If you approach it with reason, you're in trouble or you are superlative. It's not a social standard. It's a need, which in sympathy you can understand, but the need to talk is often done because of humans discomfort with just being or not doing anything. That's not you being lazy, it's you encountering the spirit stick or the balleyhoo baton. People often choose being cruel and judgemental over being quiet and not talking, and instead listening because it can remind you of the void.

It might make sense for radio, and the concept of dead air or even parties, but it isn't work, to approach it that way is actual…
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Cornelius Gondleleg - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 04:40:13 EST ID:nHVfyxMH No.516689 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516664
People who can successfully fit in in places really do exist.
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Reuben Greenwater - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 16:51:21 EST ID:n5lrD8l2 No.516705 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516689
Not exactly common. At least what he would need to do so. It's hard to walk a path. Even if people aren't trying to stop you you still find that every step questions it. It's no coincidence that the dialogue of the board in a thread about trying to find respect turns to good natured ribbing to express cynicism. Because that's a way to get the acknowledgement of the need for respect without going over how hard it is to win respect. Especially when what you are caught in as a conflict is between self respect and being respect ful. You're going to come up against a social issue that's actually quite psychological meaning it's highly melodramatic.

People who "fit in" if you hear them out tell you the same tale. They fit in with a burden they don't get transparent respect that they earn if if they become too noticed for it, and they leave if it conflicts with basic self respect. The work place is the. Screwed. Because bosses don't know how to organize once they try to organize based on discipline. They don't make use of a win win because it makes it easier for employees, so they don't work as a good role playing game player or gm. Kind of like watching a baseball game and questioning a manager. They have tons of employees each with different statuses each at different points of understanding and leaning levels. Instead of consciously managing resources within limits and capacity it has more to do with who they think is trying to avoid the hammer. However they are overworking a favored "six Pokémon" team and those charizards will leave if you try to lay diwn that law to them in front of the 200 Taurus you just got on safari Zone. Because it only worked that way because they were literally going above a beyond the call of duty to appear as the role advertised. Which is a motto get Ben on the training tape and makes sense more as a part of the service we provide not as the instruction.

Trust me you lose your cooks and your experienced retail people left and right because of the duality of being supervised as a supervisor and other pedagogical problems that people see as mirrors to when they were new. Because they ac…
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Reuben Greenwater - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 16:51:21 EST ID:n5lrD8l2 No.516706 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516689
Not exactly common. At least what he would need to do so. It's hard to walk a path. Even if people aren't trying to stop you you still find that every step questions it. It's no coincidence that the dialogue of the board in a thread about trying to find respect turns to good natured ribbing to express cynicism. Because that's a way to get the acknowledgement of the need for respect without going over how hard it is to win respect. Especially when what you are caught in as a conflict is between self respect and being respect ful. You're going to come up against a social issue that's actually quite psychological meaning it's highly melodramatic.

People who "fit in" if you hear them out tell you the same tale. They fit in with a burden they don't get transparent respect that they earn if if they become too noticed for it, and they leave if it conflicts with basic self respect. The work place is the. Screwed. Because bosses don't know how to organize once they try to organize based on discipline. They don't make use of a win win because it makes it easier for employees, so they don't work as a good role playing game player or gm. Kind of like watching a baseball game and questioning a manager. They have tons of employees each with different statuses each at different points of understanding and leaning levels. Instead of consciously managing resources within limits and capacity it has more to do with who they think is trying to avoid the hammer. However they are overworking a favored "six Pokémon" team and those charizards will leave if you try to lay diwn that law to them in front of the 200 Taurus you just got on safari Zone. Because it only worked that way because they were literally going above a beyond the call of duty to appear as the role advertised. Which is a motto get Ben on the training tape and makes sense more as a part of the service we provide not as the instruction.

Trust me you lose your cooks and your experienced retail people left and right because of the duality of being supervised as a supervisor and other pedagogical problems that people see as mirrors to when they were new. Because they ac…
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Jarvis Sassleham - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 13:35:11 EST ID:Oi3cEJjf No.516718 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>516706
I can't stand retail and service work either, I have immense respect for those who tough it out.

However there is a reason a lot of people work those sort of jobs and very few make a career of it. For most people they're the worst. Cooks and retail staff. I couldn't hack either but I do something else and I quite like it. I don't have a boss, I have a manager. He organises a football team with other guys in the office and has a team of 4 (which is already 1 over it's designated size) that he is responsible for. His manager has a rough idea what we're up to but only closely monitors 2 or 3 people and so on. They all know what their immediate are doing and have a rough idea what those further removed do, they have an overview and that's enough.

I think in those jobs like working a kitchen or retail there's a lot of fed up insecure people taking it out and proving themselves. However if you can last a while in those places you prove you have the basic skills that every environment requires. I cut my teeth in call centres, someone whose internet is broken I can understand and help. I proved I can handle the heat and prioritise workloads and shit, so now I can focus on doing what I actually enjoy and excel at.

Sounds like you've worked some bad places with bad management. Bad work. Bad training. Unrealistic expectations, I'd take death threats from a tough guy who just won't switch his microfilter over that any day.


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