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MOVING DAY by Henry Blythedock - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 21:00:25 EST ID:BE8R5FT7 No.527868 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Looking to move out but can't find an apartment I like that's close enough to where I'm living right now.

Should I move, deal with the new commute of +20 mins minimum, and not have to bother with a shitty roommate/house or should I tough it out and buy a small starter home in a year or two? The monthly cost with property taxes and utilities would be about 50% rent and utilities.
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Hedda Nicklestone - Mon, 26 Nov 2018 17:18:25 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.527890 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Short term decisions lead to long term problems.
Graham Bundlelock - Mon, 26 Nov 2018 17:56:09 EST ID:U99A5Mm4 No.527891 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Long term decisions also lead to long term problems.
Graham Bundlelock - Mon, 26 Nov 2018 17:56:10 EST ID:U99A5Mm4 No.527892 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Long term decisions also lead to long term problems.
Walter Sazzleham - Mon, 26 Nov 2018 22:29:05 EST ID:6a4PN1hC No.527896 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Kinda too high being 50% goes into housing. Ideally under 40% and a good target is 1/3. Also, a starter home is hard to swing in every part of the country if you're alone. I know even in a depressed area, you aren't getting a "home" for less than 200,000 even. And that is surrounded by white trash or in my case, hood rats.

Renting a house or mortgaging a house will be able the same. 200,000 mortgage will run you 1k a month. A 200k house rented will cost you about 1100 or 1200. And you'll get more for your money renting. The real kicker with owning is that you pay for EVERYTHING. You don't have a landlord to pester or threaten to sue or to actually sue. It is all you. And most subdivisions where you can get a cheaper starter home will have HOA which will run your ass out or fine the life out of you until you leave. Avoid HOA at all costs when owning. They all fucking suck. A good neighborhood doesn't need an HOA. A shitty neighborhood filled with low class skumfuks needs an HOA.

But back to my point, while you may "appreciate" your land and house 50-100k if you're lucky, you'll spend that in property taxes, maintenance, insurance, selling negotiations, etc. You also won't ever pay the principle until maybe 5-7 years down the road at least. You'll be paying nothing but bank interest and won't have any equity in your house. So if you sell before at least 10 years in and realistically actually like 20 years or full term, you'll just be throwing away more money and having all the responsibility on yourself.

See if you mortgage 200k at 4% over 30 years you'll pay nearly 350k to the bank before you're off the hook. But the bank makes you pay interest first in pretty much every case I've seen. You'll spend 1k a month for just housing. And at that rate you'll pay back the interest first on the principle and then you'll pay the principle. Well, there is a certain amount of interest that must be paid each year. Say 4% like our example. So 4% of 200k in the first year would cost you 8k. But you're paying 12k a year roughly. So 4k comes off the principle and the rest is just bank interest in the loan for the year. So in year two, you pay 4% on 196k. So you'll pay 7840 in interest first and then 4160 towards the principle. So now you're down to ~192k which in year 3 you pay 4% on and then the rest is taken off. So let's say we just keep it simple still and take off 5 years from the loan, you want to move and you've paid 60k over that time. Well, you're paying roughly 8k a year in interest. So 8k x 5yr is about 40k. Maybe a little less but we're using simple math. So we'll just meet in the middle somewhere and say you pay about 38k in interest alone and 12k to the principle. Now you've taken the bank loan and own them 188k. Now ___ASSUMING YOUR HOUSE HAS APPRECIATED!___ you can possible make some money. Here we are 5 years down the road and you're wanting to move for whatever reason and you list for ~250k. A pretty damn generous 5% yearly appreciation I'll argue; it is actually about 3% but whatever, we're being nice here. The buyer takes you on a merry go round and you get haggled down to maybe 225k. So you've got "equity" and have "made out" good. Oh boy here we go! Nope.

>This is where the real numbers fuck you on a mortgage.
So right now, you're selling. You got to pay at least 3-5% commission on the sale to realtors. At 4% that is 9k. So suddenly you just sold for 216k. Listed at the "market value" for 250k remember? Suddenly, 34k is just gone like that. A new car is what you "lost." Remember back when we were at 188k on the mortgage. The equity you have is about 28k. But that is forward looking not real time. You'll "get that" but your net worth over time has suffered. Dramatically, stay tuned to find out why. Now I'm going to divvy up the loot.
>~1% property taxes. So for this is 2k year 1, 2.1k year 2, 2.2k year 3, 2.3k year 4, and 2.4k year 5. So about 11k went to property taxes. Now that 28k equity shrunk to 17k.
>Home owners insurance. You may or may not have renters insurance but you'll have to have home owners if you're using a bank or a mortgage loan. Average maybe 500-1k a year. There is another 4k off your equity. Now you're at 13k.
>Yard/Home maint. Something is going to break and the grass will always need to be cut. Tending to the yard and minor repairs to keep your shit actually worth something will run you probably around 1k a year at least. Sometimes an AC unit can die and a fridge and in 1 year you've spent 7k dollars easy. But we're being very very nice here and saying 1k a year keeping the hedges trimmed and the toilet flushing. So another 5k off you're now measly 17k which doles out 12k in equity.
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Thomas Carringdock - Tue, 27 Nov 2018 10:57:04 EST ID:V9zpBVli No.527909 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This op.
>buy my first house
>2 weeks in gf is preg and keeping it
>quit one of my 2 jobs because I'm making rental income from the detached mother in law suite I have and a roommate in the main house
>mortgage covered by rental income
>lose only job
>tenants move out
It gets better from there and everything is okay now but life will happen. Now I'm regretting my house because I bought a fucking lemon. My only advice is not to buy a flip ever pay top dollar for ALL inspections. Electrical,pest,plumbing shouldn't be overlooked

How to get better at dealing with confrontation and conflict resolution by Ernest Socklekick - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 21:54:35 EST ID:rfh6xrBW No.527870 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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How do I get better at confrontation? I avoid it like the plague, and I tend to get ultra defensive when it happens because my feelings get hurt easily. I've been working on it for three years now, and I still suck at it most of the time. I know that it stems from shitty parenting, and that my step father would scream and scream at me for the tiniest of things. I get awful anxiety about potential confrontation, which used to make me more aggressive and ready to argue. I've really improved on this part, and have gotten better at just "putting it out there," so my feelings don't just fester. But still, many times in arguments, I find myself acting like a total child. I usually don't become "blind with rage" but sadness and hopelessness. Feelings that I'll never be good enough and it makes me want to just pretend it all never exists. Help. Also, I am currently in therapy but it seems to be moving pretty slowly, and I want to switch therapists.
Eugene Blebberdit - Sat, 24 Nov 2018 17:51:37 EST ID:oYFVwhjk No.527879 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP same and im wondering the same questions you are
Jack Findershaw - Sun, 25 Nov 2018 06:03:43 EST ID:oGhTgflo No.527881 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Some of it is practice. Talk to your therapist rather than just silently dumping them in true avoidant fashion.

As far as conflict resolution goes in general it's good to find a balance between calming down and festering. If you raise an issue at the heat of your emotional response it will be overblown and melodramatic. But you can't sit on it. When a problem emerges I tend to spiral a bit before I pull myself together and look at it more rationally. Focus on what I can actually do, what I'm actually able to do and do it. I feel better that way.

When raising grievances in general you need to remember that while you feel what you feel, what it seems to indicate may not be true. Being angry doesn't mean anyone is trying to upset you, you're definitely angry and something is causing that. Look at solutions and facts and assume the other person is another flawed limited person but they're trying. If it's a friend or someone who there should be goodwill with this is usually true. Other people have their problems too so don't forget that they may be going through what you are.

These are things you should be asking your therapist. If they're working towards the solution and it's slow discuss it with them. It may be that you have shitloads of baggage to unpick or it may be they're trying to solve the wrong problems. I don't know. You're not going to magically be made better. Therapy doesn't "cure" problems, it lessens them, helps you reorganise them to make them less problematic and strengthens you and helps you cope. Sometimes you can mostly fix the damage done by trauma by understanding it in a new light but sometimes you've just got to work at hard changing the way you react to things and that's a long bit of work.

im a loser by William Dartspear - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 09:34:29 EST ID:oYFVwhjk No.527856 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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all i do everyday is smoke weed and play video games... there's nothing else to do in this small ass town im from. my friends are losers too and hanging out with them is boring as fuck because none of us have anything to talk about.

i don't know how to stop this cycle, there's nothing for me going on in this town of 2000 people, and im starting to get scared when i meet new people at school that they'll realize how boring i am after talking to me for more than 3 minutes
Frederick Nuttingstone - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 10:05:18 EST ID:/XvieVYl No.527857 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i live in a large town compared to yours and we do the same
when i get together with my friends we just cruise around in my car and talk about shit that happened years ago.
when i even meet them, most of the time i just meet my dealer, pick up, and smoke weed at home alone.
my only exit from this is when i meet my gf, which is a good time.
Im okay with this life, especially seeing all those "social" people, basically they just go to shitty parties to find thots and spend lots of money. Well i'd never want to do that.
Frederick Nuttingstone - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 10:07:12 EST ID:/XvieVYl No.527858 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I mean there's stuff to do here, restaurants, bars, movies, whatever you can do anywhere else. But it's not like you're gonna hang out at the bar all day in your own city or something. I mean it gets just as boring as smoking weed at home.
Beatrice Fanstone - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 10:36:45 EST ID:SLMs5lgl No.527861 Ignore Report Quick Reply
protip: everybody is boring. everybody is a loser. you aren't special, and neither is anybody else. everybody is mediocre. this is reality. if people stop talking to you or look down on you for being boring, then they're probably arrogant, pompous pricks. but honestly, this is probably just your own anxiety and insecurity talking man, don't get yourself down.

wanna get slightly more interesting? develop some skills and get new hobbies. educate yourself on shit, learn more. all it takes is improving yourself.
Simon Pockridge - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 10:47:45 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.527862 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Don’t spend your time doing pointless shit. Don’t affiliate too much with people who aren’t doing much with their life. They can be cool and interesting to drop in on once every few months or to do targeted activities with, but truthfully familiarity breeds contempt and monotony.

OP you’ve got an opportunity to do something about this, take it and thank yourself 5 years from now. The amount of potential trajectory change you can accomplish with some fairly basic adjustments is crazy.

You need to move away from doing dumb shit with your time. The internet is an essentially limitless resource for knowledge, teach yourself some new shit. Maybe get practical and build shit out of wood. Or go all art n expression, learn to draw, customise clothing, do graffiti, produce beats, make techno or indie rock, write books, screenplays.

Maybe even begin working towards an industry skill such as graphic design, 3d modelling, illustration, film, photo - all perfectly acceptable to self teach, can lead to freelance or full time employment and its also the ultimate stoner work since you spend most of your time at a computer.

Find some cooler shit to do in your spare time/ downtime. Sketch stupid bullshit, read books, watch lectures on stuff you like, learn how to cook properly. Fuck women, go cycling, go hiking, lift weights, do a martial art, visit galleries, see live music, invite friends round to do specific shit like play board games or jerk off to pictures of old classmates. Get a fucking routine, try stick to it.

Honestly man, buy a Jordan Peterson book or watch a Tim robbins seminar or something. Just do something to spark that hunger for life again and begin setting goals, moving towards them and within a year your life will be in a totally different place. Everything I’ve mentioned in this post I’ve done this year (with the exception of a few things I added in for broader appeal).

This time last year I was depressed, smoking weed and playing video games, having retired from my life completely after a psychotic episode. Life does improve but it takes work and discomfort and nobody will do it for you. Become an interesting character, you owe it to yourself.

Next step? by Priscilla Warringsad - Sat, 14 Jul 2018 14:28:58 EST ID:sOYffUbq No.525505 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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>start talking to a girl
>really hitting it off
>speak for a week, have so many interests in common, lots to say
>go to the pub for drinks, speak for a couple hours, we have so much to say to each other and making each other laugh, then go to a local park and talk for ages
>she asks for a kiss, and we basically snog for a solid minute
>I end the date by asking for another kiss, she's all over me at this point
>speak for another week, plan to set up dinner 2 weeks from the drinks
>been showering my with compliments, telling me how she enjoys talking to me and being around me and how much she wants a 2nd date
>she's the one that says she absoloutely wants to see me again
>she's the one that says she absoloutely wants dinner
>she even recommends the place
>suddenly from Wednesday, she ghosts me and doesn't reply to anything
>we were originally supposed to be going out tonight
>I messaged her again today asking what's up
>pic related
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Nugsofwar - Tue, 20 Nov 2018 12:35:28 EST ID:FO0BG3Rt No.527796 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Sorry bud, but I 3000% guarantee that while she was ghosting you, she was probably on other dates with other guys that had the courage to fuck her on the first date. This chick is a savage, unlike you.
Augustus Cettingstotch - Tue, 20 Nov 2018 17:01:53 EST ID:y7xkgs+a No.527800 Ignore Report Quick Reply
who or what the fuck is Zeus?

anyways, she could just be telling the truth. life can get busy with work n shit.

>How do I respond?
you respond like how you've been responding by yourself up to this point. just stay cool, stay yourself. don't try to game her or follow some kind of tactic, that shit doesn't work.
Ernest Croddlechit - Tue, 20 Nov 2018 20:00:22 EST ID:94cjtU8T No.527804 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You've probably blown it buddy.
Hannah Chablingridge - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 10:27:19 EST ID:lTNkuiuO No.527859 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Hannah Chablingridge - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 10:28:09 EST ID:lTNkuiuO No.527860 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Fucking help me by Phineas Gattingstone - Wed, 21 Nov 2018 20:01:16 EST ID:YRdv82+4 No.527831 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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For the love of god please just help me. I just need to vent everything is screaming worry pain agony how does my mind create this hell. Everything absolutely everything is horrifying pain and torture and self loathing slashing cutting mental psychotic breakdown. It's got to stop it has to end it's so fucking fucked ive made such horrible mistakes and absolutely no one can console me, i cant hear them u dont believe them yet i know it's wrong. Something is going wrong it's so fucking bad why can't i forgive myself this is so fucking painful for my family and my girlfriend to watch. I wish I could stop this i wish it would never have to get this bad before I can recognize that something is going wrong and that i need help. It's not fair for them it's not fucking fair i just wanted happiness i wanted to give happiness. IM FUCKING WRONG IM WRONG ITS ALL FUCKING WRONG FUCKING STOP JUST GIVE ME MERCY PLEASE GOD IM SORRY
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Phineas Gattingstone - Wed, 21 Nov 2018 20:09:57 EST ID:YRdv82+4 No.527833 Ignore Report Quick Reply
It's actually not that bad. I dont want to scare anyone even anonymously online. What is it, though, that you can step on an ant and feel so unforgivable and bad. It's not appropriate it's overblown i haven't done anything to warrant this kind of response by my body. I'm frightened, it's not normal.
Matilda Wengerfadge - Wed, 21 Nov 2018 20:12:32 EST ID:hBEhmcBg No.527834 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Sounds like you need more help than we are able to give right now son, is there anyone in close vicinity that could help you get to some sort of medical facility? Things obviously seem pretty bad right now, but they would be able to get someone to talk to, some professionals that would help you make sense of what you are feeling and help you get your life back on track. And then new hope might spring up, like new leaves of grass in springtime, or the summer sun peaking up behind the mountain at the start of a new day.

You would be amazed over that people are able to forgive, especially things that are out of your control, like psychotic breakdowns. Our brains are mighty funny sometimes and without proper help there is simply not a lot for ourselves to do. I think most people recognize that. Besides, your parents and girlfriend love you and only want you to be happy, they won't be mad, I'm sure of it.

Now, I hope you'll take my advice and get someone you trust to get you some medical attention asap, the sooner you get help the sooner you'll feel better.
Phineas Gattingstone - Wed, 21 Nov 2018 20:15:43 EST ID:YRdv82+4 No.527835 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Thanks man
Matilda Wengerfadge - Wed, 21 Nov 2018 20:32:29 EST ID:hBEhmcBg No.527836 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Now don't mention it partner, you just focus on gettin' better.
Isabella Feckleforth - Wed, 21 Nov 2018 20:41:29 EST ID:rM7aRWiF No.527837 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I'm only 25 and I've seen so many people break down publicly on Facebook, and no one cares. I don't care... You're freeer than you think mang. I know a guy who raped a girl when he was 17 and now he's getting married. The girl he raped is in a serious relationship. It's been 18 years and no one cares. Just fuckin live you're not a fucking rapist it doesn't matter. Not saying that guy shouldn't be in prison, but like... It's just an example. You're good bro.

Odd Request by Frederick Goffingwell - Wed, 21 Nov 2018 13:07:18 EST ID:OuQCp+w8 No.527825 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I'm depressed, GF of 2 years left me, no car, Mom is all fucked up in the ICU, no friends. Who wants to game with me on Steam?!


also, how do I go about making friends again? I basically lost them all being with my ex for 2 years. also, I need to save up for a car now too :(
Rebecca Sabbleway - Wed, 21 Nov 2018 13:47:11 EST ID:wVwbY1G3 No.527826 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I've actually got a steam game on tonight. My suggestion is go out and meet people.

You don't lose friends by being with someone. You lose them because of one or more of the below.
>your ex manipulated them and they hate you now
>you just stopped trying with them
>your ex manipulated and abused you and stopped you seeing them
The latter two you can reach out and talk to them and you'll probably re establish one or two friendships. If it's the last one you might make your old friends back once the story outs.
Clara Gipperstuck - Wed, 21 Nov 2018 16:07:02 EST ID:y1s1bI2f No.527827 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yeah i might add you when I get home. Look out for Dick Pope Ackrackish.

What kimda games do you play.
Sophie Turveylock - Wed, 21 Nov 2018 17:57:23 EST ID:hBEhmcBg No.527829 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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It's nice to take some time and game and collect yourself OP, but dude, if you start to just do nothing, you'll slowly fall into a dark hole and start contemplate killing yourself everyday like me. Take a little time, jerk off, do some stupid shit. But after that, you gotta go DO shit, maybe travelling if you can afford and don't have responsibilities.

If you just hit up an old pal, say you just dumped your girlfriend, and you were wondering if you could go out for a beer or whatever, they would PROBABLY be down. Solitude is good every once in a while, but, you gotta stay active boyyyyy

What if it's my escape? by Molly Sattingsted - Tue, 20 Nov 2018 02:10:49 EST ID:1BGp4HgQ No.527789 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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This guy and I started seeing each other after meeting at a bridge near the beach. He went with a friend, I just went there to think. He was annoyed, because he doesn't really like nature or get out of his house.
After going on a "date" we agreed this will only be casual, no relationship. As he didn't believe in that since his parents are divorced and fought a lot.
We have really good sex, smoke weed, have edibles, laugh all night and sometimes have serious hardcore life talks kind of shit.
He always talks about what a loser he is, how he is not worth shit, and mentioned on two occasions how he is not good to be around with, that in the end when it sinks in I will leave.
I used to tell him how none of that was true, but then it became annoying, and I just ignore it, because I saw it as just trying to get attention.
He would also act the total opposite while talking how a girl was flittering with him, likes to make people uncomfortable, likes to make people (girls I guess) blush with impulsive answers that shut someone down, or doesn't leave you room to say anything else.
He lately sends me random shit, pictures or videos of him being silly with filters or about what he is doing. Makes future scenarios of us being in a relationship. Like when he redid his kitchen, says " this is where we'll cook together" or when he got a new sofa, said he really wanted my opinion because it will be for our home.
I started sending him random pics of stuff, but he rarely answered mine, so I stopped.
I havent seen him in 3 months, and he keeps sending stuff even if I answer or not.
When we hang out is very simple. Watch a movie, have sex or not, talk, smoke weed or eat edibles. Wake up, talk some more, shower and then I'm off.
I don't really care. I see him as my escape, like going on a drive or going to that beach bridge I mentioned. We don't know much of each other, yet I feel comfortable with that person, and feel like all my worries are gone for a while. I think he feels the same too. He is always complimenting me, in a way that seems sincere not to fuck around. And I do the same, we are both polite and kind to one another, but then he has his moments.
Honestly I …
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Eliza Subbergold - Tue, 20 Nov 2018 10:35:25 EST ID:iJyiJg7k No.527794 Ignore Report Quick Reply
well he did warm you about his immaturity
you should also seek healthier ways (people?) to "escape" than some random depressed fuck in a beach
Fanny Saddlemadge - Tue, 20 Nov 2018 13:04:38 EST ID:wVwbY1G3 No.527798 Ignore Report Quick Reply
The guy is a fucking wreck and you are lucky that he didn't see fit to ruin your life. I'm not sure if it's because he actually gives a fuck and knows how toxic he would be or because he's so dumb he doesn't realise he's got someone who's a suitable friend, attractive and cares and still won't commit. Either way stop wasting your time. It's hard to know for sure if he's deliberately wasting your time and sending mixed signals so he can smash the fuck out of your pussy or if he really doesn't know what he wants. But either way its bad news for you. There's nothing wrong with the other person making most of the calls in a relationship if they are ones you're happy with. He however just dictates everything and you fall, in line.

He has so much bullshit that it'd take too long to list all the red flags that leapt out. I'm actually amazed you found a human being under them all.

The parents thing sort of made me smirk. A lot of people are subconsciously a bit wary of relationships because their parents set a bad precedent and they should get therapy. That guy is next level though. He talks a lot of talk but the truth is he's right. He's a loser. Are you desperate, suffering a sunk cost fallacy or do you also just really like bad relationships (also get therapy). When you date someone who's not a piece of shit it will be night and day.

If he's your escape then it sounds like your life sucks. So maybe you are desperate and need therapy. Commit to change and improve it. A lot of people have done it and while I cannot promise it will be everything you imagine you're never going to say "Oh I didn't find love, what if I made my life and quality of life better for nothing?" well maybe you will but only ironically.
Lillian Tillingson - Tue, 20 Nov 2018 13:41:33 EST ID:JsQi4/8G No.527799 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I tried talking to him about it a long time ago, while we were talking about deep shit. And he just got frustrated and took it the wrong way as if I wanted some serious relationship. He just shut it down by saying "don't ruin something good please" That's when he went on in saying "I heard my parents fought all the time, I don't want that"

If I ever see him again, I'll try and have a chat, maybe wording it different.

I have noticed he gets frustrated with little problems, like he acts is the end of the world, he doesn't know how to cope with it.

Is very hard to make him open up to you, even in sex, he sometimes seems insecure. While kissing, he would stop and ask if he is doing right, if I like it or if he is hurting me. Sounds odd, but he is the best I've had. I'm 26, he is 33.

He always likes to stay hugging me while we watch tv or sleep, as if I'm his stuffed animal, feels like that. But while he hugs me, you can feel the sexual tension. Like when you haven't fucked the girl and there you are knowing there is a chance, but not knowing when it will happen. It's sort of a rush, not knowing when he'll kiss me or if we'll have sex. I have never felt that tension with someone I've already had sex with many times. He also squeezes parts of body randomly, like my arm, my hands, my hips...holds it for a sec and lets go. Very odd shit, that turns me on.
Our sex is also pretty standard nothing crazy, but it's so good. He got worried one time, and told me he felt he was boring at sex. That's what I'll miss the most. Cuz honestly, I've never would have imagined such standard vanilla sex would turn me on so damn much. It's just the way he goes about things.

I've noticed tho, that because I have really good sex with him, I don't look for it anywhere else. I rather masturbate, because I'll see it as a waste of time. Having bad sex is very frustrating to me, it's annoying.

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Phoebe Weckleshit - Tue, 20 Nov 2018 19:00:28 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.527802 Ignore Report Quick Reply

If he is 33, leave now. From your description of his words, behaviour and etc I thought he was around 25 at latest. This is very stunted development behaviour even for someone in their mid 20s let alone 30s.

Also, guys like this have had a long time to develop their character. They know the ways to play to maximum advantage for their game, for instance he hides behind the woe is me troubled home card to outmanoeuvre conversation AND justify it.

When I was 17 I was totally living up to shit like this. Troubled, attitude to guys but soft with women, playing cards about broken homes, bad relationships, bad schools and mental health to get a pass on my shortcomings or inability to play along with relationships.

I’d recommend finding someone who won’t play games, is stable, reasonable confidence and most importantly, legit. Many other posts in this thread have worded that better than me.
John Hussledutch - Wed, 21 Nov 2018 10:54:00 EST ID:N8SnPlnn No.527822 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This guy sounds a bit like me. Sounds like someone who has been traumatized in their upbringing and has trouble with a lot of things as a result. I can't tell you what to do, obviously, just chiming in.

Leave my gf if she was raped by Archie Pungerlock - Mon, 19 Nov 2018 12:27:22 EST ID:+Dxwg5ZQ No.527785 Locked Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Is it bad that I'd leave my SO immediately if she was raped in any scenario? Not previously raped, I can get over that, but if a girl I was dating actually got raped, I'd just up and leave.

Not because I wouldn't be "able to emotionally support her" but for the sheer fact that she got fucked by another man, I dont care if it was consensual or not.

Especially since women have been reported to orgasm during being raped? What if she cums harder for a rapist than me? I'm supposed to really support her and be her rock lol? Fuck that shit

Am I really a bad person? Also the more I think about this the less sympathy I have for rape victims
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Thread was locked by: Mintzs
Reason: Yes. /thread
Emma Drungerlock - Mon, 19 Nov 2018 12:31:59 EST ID:MnhSzLT7 No.527786 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Am I really a bad person
Yes, yes you are. Stop trolling the QQ board.
Ernest Surringwill - Mon, 19 Nov 2018 15:18:38 EST ID:LQaVa7NA No.527788 Ignore Report Quick Reply
go choke on your black pill somewhere else. how fucked up do youeven need to be to post shit like this?

why I did shitloads of drugs and dropped out of grad school by Emma Drimmerchodge - Mon, 19 Nov 2018 01:48:54 EST ID:rIosAB57 No.527777 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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tl;dr: because i'm a voraphile

i'm trying to apply to graduate school (again) and i've got to write that statement of purpose. it shouldn't be too hard, but there's something i just can't honestly explain: the reason I fucked up the first time around. it seems like it makes sense to me, but it's just so pathetic and disturbing that there's no way I can tell the truth about it.
i'm 27 and i left grad school in august 2013. since then i've been in the workforce which has had its ups and downs but it's a wash pretty much. test scores are good so i'm not worried about that. my last advisor liked me, which is fine; i'll get a rec letter for that, hopefully, but i only worked for him in 2013. i had entered grad school in august 2011 so there's a whole year unaccounted for.
my history with my previous advisor was pretty bad, let's be honest downright terrible. i rarely communicated and got very little done so he fired me. now mind you it started off alright at first in the first few weeks, but then... well, i suddenly got into a relationship.
if you go back to when i was twelve, i started having sexual fantasies that didn't really make sense to me. i would be shrunk down or just very small and eaten by a much larger woman or stuffed inside of her vagina or asshole, i got creative -- it wasn't porn, i had never seen any porn of this or in fact any porn at all until much later. i mostly jerked off to fantasies i had while looking at softcore images. this also generalized to being eaten by animals, i guess it made sense because animals are more likely to, you know, eat people.
so for most of high school i thought i was some kind of horrible mutant who could never love anyone. my theretofore faith in Christianity was shattered, because while I could imagine a God who would make his children gay, no benevolent God could possibly have made me. some girls showed interest in me, but i usually tried to pretend not to notice. it wasn't until i saw a bunch of -- i remember the poster was saying "OH GOD YES PEACH VORE" -- images of vore porn on the future that I realized I was not a totally isolated case.
turns out mo…
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op !4CGgGwL/UQ - Mon, 19 Nov 2018 01:49:21 EST ID:rIosAB57 No.527778 Ignore Report Quick Reply
so one night when I was supposed to be working on some research problem, i got a call from a friend. he wants me to hook up some drugs his party, and i'm feeling lonely, so i talk my way in the door. mind you, this is a monday night. i was actually contemplating killing myself that night, lest i be alone forever. wholesome, i know. anyway, dude hosting the party is gay. it's a bunch of dudes at the party. epic fail lol xd. there's some drugs so i took some methylone and some 25I-NBOMe which was all the rage at the time.
but soft! what light through yonder window breaks? as if summoned by my perverted guardian angel, two girls show up. one of them, we'll call her L, is celebrating her 34th birthday. mind you, i am 20. i was an exceptionally successful student up to that point, obtaining my bachelor's in physics at 19 years old. she sat next to me on the couch and we watched stupid videos on the internet and talked about how annoying people are. i remember we both enjoyed watching that video "drinking out of cups". i'm at about a Shulgin +2 at this point with the drugs and it was a good time. i thought about what it would be like to be with her -- not so bad, right? i'm an adult, she's early 30s, that's ok? -- and after about an hour of this she asks if i want to go on a walk.
we had barely made it to the stairwell before L shoved me up against a wall and kissed me. the next few hours are a blur, but i know that we both tried to perform oral on each other in the stairwell of this apartment, with mixed success. thanks to methylone, i couldn't cum at all, but i was really into it the whole time. we made it down to the parking lot somehow and we resolved to go back to my place. my first time having sex, i lasted over an hour. this isn't impressive, really, because all the drugs made it possible, but she joked that i couldn't really be a virgin. she was ridiculously aggressive. pulling my hair, kissing my neck, pushing me into weird positions -- and i found it insanely hot.
i thought there was no way i'd ever meet a girl like her again; i couldn't actually date a 34-year-old former meth user, but of course i'll save her number and …
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Edward Blellercocke - Mon, 19 Nov 2018 08:10:36 EST ID:gHKKHqVT No.527782 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Look if your friends are real they won't care.

I don't know why you're going back to study though. It doesn't seem to make you happy.
Edward Blellercocke - Mon, 19 Nov 2018 08:10:36 EST ID:gHKKHqVT No.527783 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Look if your friends are real they won't care.

I don't know why you're going back to study though. It doesn't seem to make you happy.
Oliver Honeybury - Mon, 19 Nov 2018 11:39:59 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.527784 Ignore Report Quick Reply

It’s pretty easy to cover up holes in timeline to friends and employers. I have two year long gaps from being sectioned. Never told the people I lived with for years, nor any employers. I didn’t make up anything too extreme either.

Generally “I just needed to work out some stuff” will fly over their heads. No need to make up elaborate stories. Say you weren’t feeling it or you could get with it anymore or you get burnt out. Or share a half truth and say you were too busy doing irresponsible things.

Guy with depressed GF by Edward Tillingfield - Sun, 18 Nov 2018 21:57:39 EST ID:QW8Wrjtr No.527776 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hello, I came here 1.5 years ago asking for advice.

Just came here to say that the love and care flows naturally from me and it's fullfilling to see the difference I make in her life.

We just came back from a European vacation and we're both living together as well as moving up in our careers.

Things like making her favorite meal (spaghetti) into smaller portions like smaller angel hair and very small meatballs makes eating easier when she lacks an appetite.

Helping her get up in the morning and laying her clothes out and kissing her awake helps her get out of bed.

I won't list them all but I want this thread to be a list of little favors or things you do for yourself or someone does for you that makes depression a little easier. Thanks

Letting Go by Sidney Blungertirk - Mon, 10 Sep 2018 17:42:17 EST ID:cBYQH4Mo No.526624 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Hey /qq/,

Some of you may remember me from such great threads on /b/ and /qq/ like Booty Call Gone Wrong, Hilarious Failed Dates, and more. The first of those threads was an account of my adventures with a heroin, benzo, and alcohol addicted female as I futilely tried to help her go through withdrawals at my place over the course of multiple days, until she ended up being taken to the hospital.

There were a couple more wild binging episodes like that in the following months, but no officials ever came to my place again, and she never stole any of my liquor again.

However a couple of weeks ago she got back into full blown daily IV heroin use, and is so ashamed that she basically became a hermit in her room (makes more than me but lives with parents) for the past two weeks.

Tonight we are going to meet for dinner but the vibes are way off and if my Spidey Senses are correct this is going to be our final, good-bye date.

Despite all of the clear and obvious red flags, and everyone who cares about me urging to leave her in the dust, I love her. She is brilliant and funny and kind, and shares many interests with me. I would be willing to try to make things work even with her addiction, but it seems she would choose the heroin over me, us, or her own life. And I am unable to change her decision.

So, with a heavy heart and a lump in my throat, it seems I have no choice but to Let Go of what may be simultaneously the best and worst candidate for a female companion I have ever met. My whole life I will always look back and wonder "what if..." because this is the type of woman I would marry, were it not for her addiction. Truly, a sad conclusion to a wild ride.

I will update later this evening if the dinner was indeed a farewell or just touching base.
Caroline Pinnerfield - Mon, 10 Sep 2018 18:29:08 EST ID:X1WDhwYW No.526625 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>inb4 OP comes back in 3 days with all his cash and cards and phone gone.

Love is hard work. But she is not willing to do what it takes for love with you. She is the worst candidate and your love will not last. Love is not something that happens, it's something you keep alive and reignite but she can't even put you first in the first flash of love.

One day you will date a sane bitch and
>My whole life I will always look back
Sidney Blungertirk - Mon, 10 Sep 2018 19:40:45 EST ID:cBYQH4Mo No.526627 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Yeah I got plenty of jokes about being robbed and shit before. But it's not like she's some random hoe off the street. We've known each other a long time, met each other's parents, traveled together, and more. She's had plenty of chances to rob me and other than stealing some liquor back a couple times she hasn't. That isn't the concern as much as robbing me of my sanity.
Phineas Honeywater - Tue, 11 Sep 2018 21:49:22 EST ID:cBYQH4Mo No.526642 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Well, it was a goodbye. I was right. It's over.
Polly Borrychig - Sun, 18 Nov 2018 19:12:23 EST ID:/XvieVYl No.527774 Ignore Report Quick Reply
How you feelin man?
Graham Suvingworth - Sun, 18 Nov 2018 21:34:18 EST ID:jnas4L6T No.527775 Ignore Report Quick Reply

I am just emerging from the depths of despair. As I said in my OP, I loved her and would have married her. Heroin won though. Trying to be a human again after 2 months of numbness.

Sentimentalist dreamer by Molly Cruckleford - Mon, 05 Nov 2018 18:42:39 EST ID:NJkLq9MW No.527621 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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What do I do when I've been enamored by dreams that aren't possibly for me? What if this has been most of my life and I'm in my mid 20's? I feel like without a dream I will wither and die. I'm sure there's something here for me to do.. How do I find it? How can I know that it's pure and right?

"No matter how full a reservoir of maxims one may possess, and no matter how good one's sentiments may be, if one have not taken advantage of every concrete opportunity to act, one's character may remain entirely unaffected for the better. With good intentions, hell proverbially is paved. This is an obvious consequence of the principles I have laid down. A 'character,' as J. S. Mill says, 'is a completely fashioned will'; and a will, in the sense in which he means it, is an aggregate of tendencies to act in a firm and prompt and definite way upon all the principal emergencies of life. A tendency to act only becomes effectively ingrained in us in proportion to the uninterrupted frequency with which the actions actually occur, and the brain 'grows' to their use. When a resolve or a fine glow of feeling is allowed to evaporate without bearing practical fruit, it is worse than a chance lost: it works so as positively to hinder future resolutions and emotions from taking the normal path of discharge. There is no more contemptible type of human character than that of the nerveless sentimentalist and dreamer, who spends his life in a weltering sea of sensibility, but never does a concrete manly deed."

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Simon Sivingwill - Mon, 12 Nov 2018 03:21:34 EST ID:WEOgqvgT No.527697 Ignore Report Quick Reply
His beats were great, his lyrics and flow (even by mumblerap standards) were crap though.
Eugene Hambledale - Thu, 15 Nov 2018 05:29:38 EST ID:jKAPpIIM No.527745 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I believe in me having a gangster attitude with or without being too rudeboy when I find myself with my peeps all around me, & lil peeps music to me is like a beginning stepping stone I hear. Ppl will break some bread for me and I just whine and dine. Something you can do is at least apply for a job.
Albert Fusslemin - Sat, 17 Nov 2018 18:25:32 EST ID:fh+mGVup No.527761 Ignore Report Quick Reply
A dream is only a dream if you eventually wake up from it. Either you achieve what you aspire to, or you forever aspire to what you wish to achieve. A dream in itself is neither for nor notfor any given person, it simply is itself: a dream. What makes one for or not for someone is solely a matter of personal choice. The question is, are you content to keep dreaming indefinitely, or are you determined to wake up and leave the dream behind for the real thing?

There's nothing wrong with dreaming, either, in and of itself. Dreams are necessary to move forward and progress, but only in so far as it being the beacon of light that guides you through the darkness toward the place you ultimately want to be. If you stop moving forward and pretend the beacon is daylight, you are merely substituting reality with the fantasy of your dream. You will, of course, ultimately know that it is self-deception, but your fear of the dark will paralyze you until such time that something lurking around in the dark happens by and shatters your delicate, fabricated glass reality and you are suddenly forcefully woken from your dream and left to haplessly fumble around in the dark to pick up the pieces of what you thought you used to know.

That's why we wake and dream in cycles, and that a balance between them is necessary to keep cycling functionally. Too much time dreaming means a homeostatic rebound effect being awake, and vice versa. Knowing when and how often to work toward your goals and to take a rest and dream up new ones while appreciating the old ones is key.
Rebecca Chumblenud - Sun, 18 Nov 2018 09:19:59 EST ID:ehhnNOgT No.527769 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Fuck if I know man. I can relate though. I'm a very idealistic person but I also have little self control and I can't make myself live up to my ideals so I live in a state of depression and defeat.
Doris Huffingbanks - Sun, 18 Nov 2018 09:47:16 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.527770 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Gotta learn how to count the victories.

If you have none, earn them.

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