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GF doesn't want intimacy, wants to sleep alone by Evening Majors - Fri, 03 Mar 2017 17:01:28 EST ID:AVHt7elG No.513964 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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together for 5 years now.
Never had real issues.

My new workplace got very demanding.
Can't do the household when I come back from work.
Need to relax by reading listening to music ans sleep often when I come home from work.

GF seems to have lost interest in physical love.
Didn't have sex for 2 months now (2-3 times a week was normal for us before).

I've lost interest as well, because of all the rejection.

She gets pissy very often, when I don't do the dishes
(its not that there are huge piles or that anything smells. She just has this annyoing perfection when it comes to dish-washing...)

It sounds like stupid old people relationships-problems
and thats so annoying.

Today she wants to sleep alone (normally we sleep together in a bed every weekend. Not midweek, because we have different sleep and work-cycles!)!

How fucked am I ?
>>
Martha Hinnerwatch - Fri, 03 Mar 2017 17:26:03 EST ID:K+3GMDSu No.513966 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513964
Ah it's good to be reminded of why I ditched my ex every now and then
>>
Hamilton Fevingfoot - Fri, 03 Mar 2017 17:44:31 EST ID:N4C7HfN0 No.513967 Ignore Report Quick Reply
She's probably cheating on you.
>>
Clara Wedgelock - Fri, 03 Mar 2017 19:32:36 EST ID:KveR7zNs No.513972 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513964
This comes with the disclaimer that I've not been through this. But it seems to me that your relationship is in a bad way and it may be worth trying to save it or at least trying to work out if that is possible before abandoning ship. The current situation sounds untenable though.

You can try to save the relationship. It may be broken and it may fail but maybe you should try first.

Ask her what you can do. Don't yell just explain you know things aren't right and you want to fix them. Ask her what would make her happy. Do it with a smile. If she's hostile initially it may take a little while to process. if she's still hostile or non commital a few days later, or doing it doesn't help then the relationship may already be terminal.

I have a prediction and I think you know it too.

It sounds like your job is a problem. I can understand why she'd be fed up with doing all the chores at home. The dishes is just the hill she has chosen to stand on. The war is that you don't pull your weight and blame the job. I suspect that you either need to agree to do the chores a bit later and stick to it, or do them at weekends or willpower and do a bit when you get home before your nap. To be honest you sound like you're copping out a bit. If you genuinely cannot toughen up find a new job.

Jobs are not worth destroying your home life and unless it pays EXTREMELY well and/or lets her work fewer hours this job is a home life destroyer. It's making her picking up your slack. I mean if you're earning 3 times as much then perhaps you can agree that given the money ... but if she loves her job this may not be an option. You could always hire a cleaner, tell her the money more than covers it, and you don't want her to have to work harder so if you hire a cleaner you're still better off and you both have more time. If this job won't let you hire a cleaner then it's not worth it. If you love it that much it wouldn't leave you in need of recovery time surely?
>>
Evening Majors - Fri, 03 Mar 2017 20:35:58 EST ID:yaIVrmc4 No.513974 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>513972
yeah,
maybe I should hop into the job cannon and fly into jobland where jobs grow on trees!

Thing is, the Job I got now does pay way better than my job before and is also less demanding than my job before!

The problem lies on the "pulling weight"-scenario as well.
I don't think I am guilty about that!
I just don't see cleaning so many dishes EVERY WEEK alone!

Its just insane!
To maintain a more or less "clean" and "sparkling dishy" kitchen I'd have to wash dishes every day!
And thats just plain stupid imho!

Doing chores at home when you come wasted from work, is the most shizophrenic thing I can imagine tbh.

And I don't blame the job.
Its a fact that I am pretty much wasted after a whole day at work (she doesn't even work as long as I do!)
and I know myself too well.

My guts are seriously thinking about just giving up.
I am getting aggressive inside of me, everytime this topic comes up.

my mind on the other hand is admiring all the things we went though and still planning to marry her.
But it fades, seriously.
>>
Evening Majors - Fri, 03 Mar 2017 22:45:58 EST ID:yaIVrmc4 No.513982 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513964
>>513974
HOLY FUCK!
Everything is clear to me now!

>she buys a lot of cute underwear recently
>doesn't want me to see her naked or in the new underwear
>spends very much time "at her sisters and brothers home"
>her girlfriends "forgot" my birthday
>avoids kisses since 3 days

I think I need to pack my stuff asap.

Don't know if I should confront her
or just leave the house when she's away again.
>>
Nathaniel Shittingwater - Sat, 04 Mar 2017 02:02:18 EST ID:m2Phfows No.513985 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513974

Why not just wash dishes as you use them? That way you spend like 2 minutes of your time washing a dish that you just used. And its more fair that way cause you would clean what you use.

Maybe your girlfriend is cheating on you because you are a dirty slob. Do you eat food in bed or shower once every three days? Do you leave food sitting out for the cockroaches?
>>
Evening Majors - Sat, 04 Mar 2017 02:39:45 EST ID:yaIVrmc4 No.513986 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>513985
its nothing like that.

Body-hygiene has a high priority for me,
and there is never food or crumbs left on the dishes (I wipe the dishes with paper-towels everytime when we finished eating!)
nothing smells
and I / we don't eat in bed.
We only eat at our dinner table.

And its not like I am doing nothing!
I wipe the surfaces in the kitchen of course, too,
I bring out the trash every time it needs to be done when I am leaving for work.

So shut the fuck up you condescending prick!
>>
Evening Majors - Sat, 04 Mar 2017 02:51:35 EST ID:yaIVrmc4 No.513987 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513985
and dishes are obviously not the real problem!

If it was just me, I would easily do the dishes every day! I don't need so much dishes!

But once I do the whole kitchen
next day I come home there is EVERYTHING dirty again!
I kid you not!

When I cleaned up the kitchen and do the dishes
I can allways guarantee there is everything dirty again when I am coming home!

And the more this happens
the less of me wants to clean her shit up again!
>>
Clara Wedgelock - Sat, 04 Mar 2017 08:52:16 EST ID:KveR7zNs No.513996 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>513982
Oh yeah that info means there's no fixing it. Maybe just leave a note saying it's obvious what's going on and go.

However I do wonder if this happened because she felt under appreciated. I'm only talking hypothetically now. It sounds like it's a race for who gets out the door first at this point.

It sounds like you both had unrealistic expectations. I don't think you can change anything now but you might want to consider how to avoid this occuring again. You earn more money (and I assume pay than half the bills) and work longer hours so she shouldn't expect you to then work as hard as her at home. If she wants to work longer hours and hire a cleaner then fine. However you are saying you just go home and sleep and switch off and didn't mention (and haven't) "I do other things later" so I assume it's just dishes and there's a million other chores. And someone has to do them. And you do have a really shitty view "it's schitzophrenic" no, what the fuck does that even mean? It means it doesn't make sense to you. But you could offer to do them later after dinner or do more at the weekend or something, that was what I meant by compromise. I have to be honest I do very little when I get home but it's just me and I still cook my dinner and wash up and do my mid week wash and study and wrestle with depression and go to the gym and go to bed early enough to give work my best if something doesn't ruin my sleep.

Relationship is over regardless. Godspeed and hopefully the next one and you can find work out a reasonable balance.
>>
Evening Majors - Sat, 04 Mar 2017 11:34:00 EST ID:yaIVrmc4 No.514003 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>513964
wrestling with rejection at work,
rejection from my "family"
and now rejection from my "Girlfriend",
rejection from "friends" who just don't care.

fuck my life!
Why even bother with all of this?!
>>
David Fancocke - Sat, 04 Mar 2017 12:34:48 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.514004 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514003
Rejection is as much a part of life as acceptance. If anything there are more rejections and failures than their are successes, it's the natural way of things. It's really not that terrible once you learn to accept that that's how things are, and the only reason you think it's so terrible is because you've been brought up believing that life would be mostly filled with good, or at least mostly filled with "okay" or "acceptable". I really don't mean to be telling you to just get over it, but honestly that's kinda what has to happen. Change your outlook on life and stop thinking of things in the light of how bad things are for you all the time, and realize things are bad for everyone all the time, and always have been. It doesn't make it pointless, and it's not that terribly hard to deal with as long as you don't feel like the world is somehow against you.
>>
Evening Majors - Sun, 05 Mar 2017 03:44:45 EST ID:B873hP0C No.514033 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>513996
>>513985
>>513967
yeah, thanks for nothing guys.

I went for a hike yesterday to clear my head and talked everything through when I returned at night.
Many problems led to this scenario and we are fixing it.

Not enough sleep made me paranoid (asshole neighbours),
we didn't have enough time to talk things through (we need holidays!)
and women obviously forget sometimes how important sex in a relationship is.
Also her "friends" are ignoring her and talking only about their own mundane shit (thats why nobody was interested in my B-day)

Clear, open minded dialogue -> hot sex with multiple orgasms in the morning
Everything went better then expected.
>>
Ebenezer Dremmerwater - Sun, 05 Mar 2017 20:08:29 EST ID:TANulxB5 No.514061 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514033
sounds like you don't really want other people's advice/opinions. you're just looking to be reassured. now you're trying to reassure yourself with that fuck session. we'll see how it goes but if it just goes back to how it was, iono man. i know 5 years is a long time and breaking up at this point would be hard, but you're not married yet either. keep that in mind.

dono about the cheating thing, could be a possibility, but the flame could be going out nonetheless. keep us posted.
>>
Phineas Blessleville - Mon, 06 Mar 2017 00:32:04 EST ID:821ft5+E No.514070 Ignore Report Quick Reply
you do sound insufferable
>>
Barnaby Hezzleston - Mon, 06 Mar 2017 13:08:08 EST ID:KveR7zNs No.514108 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514070
>OP posts story
>Halp guys
>give him opinion
>No ur wrong, here's evidence
>evidence is pretty damning
>okay maybe I was
>Oh no it was all in my head I imagined it
>fuck y'all for trying to help but being wrong because of what I told you
>I don't need no help I can fix this

He literally just wanted to be told whatever he was thinking was right. I eagerly await part 2 when this blows up in his face.
>>
Memeory Bailer - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 02:09:54 EST ID:NycEgjCL No.514542 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>514108
things can change after some time to think and a good conversation!
My first reaction would be to bail and my first advice would also be to dump that bitch.
But I know how paranoid the lack of sex and sleep can make me, sometimes!

Things like that can happen after 5 years of relationship.
You need to reassure yourself and herself and don't forget how important sex is for social hygiene!

Also its not the end of the world when you have to sleep alone sometimes.
Everybody needs his space sometime!
I use to enjoy my sleeping alone-times so I can indulge in my (rather weird) sexual fantasies and fetish stuff my woman doesn't enjoy so much.

Give each other space and enjoy your (hopefully) long lasting relationship!

I wish you only the best for your wedding!

>>514003
don't give up, mate!
Bad luck comes often in pairs!
I belive everything will turn out fine!
Keep your head up and I think you two should go on a holiday / honey moon vacation when you are marrying, instead of throwing some kind of stupid expensive wedding-party!
Don't invite your friends, just fuck'em and drive away for some days!

Your true friends will understand.
>>
Rebecca Bungerdale - Fri, 17 Mar 2017 02:52:49 EST ID:EzXVpmDm No.514543 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514070
He's like a comic book villain with that diction


>>514542
did i just get trolled
>>
Sidney Goblingford - Sat, 18 Mar 2017 00:26:10 EST ID:n1yNxChx No.514565 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>514542
finally.. the perfect synthesis. for centuries ever since the cultivated european aristocrat first discovered ostriches, he had pined for them with an unending and ceaseless LUST. their long, slender limbs. since exiting the pure state of nature, man's perfectability had enabled him to create not only the marvels of the world, but the ability to see truth.. women were quickly seen as that which furthers the genetic lineage, and nothing more.. their shrill voices, their weakness. for years man searched and search until he could BEAR IT NO LONGER. he sailed to africa with whatever means, literal banks were emptied (contemporary equivalent 475 BILLION britbongs fishkettles also known as dollars) and countries were ruined so that man could finally, once and for all, find a replacement for women. and now you have shown me the light. there is a being so magnificent that the GODS themselves would bask in the sheer temerity of this being. that very being is depicted here. the only part of the woman worth carrying on was the capacity for baby making.. THE OSTRICH WAS SUPERIOR IN EVERY OTHER WAY. but alas, a pure ostrich could not propagate the species without genetic testing and research, the costs of which far outweigh our current monetary power. with time perhaps this will change, but for now we have found the holy grail of union. together, man and the ostrich woman hybrid will carry forward the burdens of humanity into the future. for our children will be of the greatest calibre, and our lives forever enriched going on and on into the sunset. rousseau was correct about civilization domesticating man and removing us from our natural capacities, but there was one thing that he didn't forsee in his travel accounts: the ostrich woman hybrid. this will finally square the circle and provide the penultimate solution to the troubles of political society.

i will inform the guild at once and we will begin preparations for extraction.
rendevous is at 19:00 in a week. bring the package

THE COOKIES ARE IN THE OVEN
>>
Samuel Brimmlepodge - Sat, 18 Mar 2017 02:48:37 EST ID:I2FTZEKQ No.514566 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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buy a new bed. Solve everything, Swear to god.
>>
David Bubberway - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 03:33:24 EST ID:PiDMdgO6 No.514606 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>514565
thanks. that was a good read.


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