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About a girl by Oliver Dartstock - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 16:04:33 EST ID:UrQwPY3E No.514611 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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tl;dr: took some time with a girl and want to tell her how I feel. Better to do it in person or write her a letter?

I'd been dating this girl for a couple months. We got along great. After some time we started falling for each other, we both said some really nice things to each other and shared many unique moments, it looked like it'd eventually have to step up to a relationship or die. Then, suddenly, while she was away visiting her home country, she distanced herself from me without explanation. We still talked, but there was definitely something off. We sort of talked it out after a week of awkward conversations and everything went sort of back to normal, but we decided we owed one another a talk.

When she came back, we talked and she told me her entire life was on crisis. That she didn't know wether she wanted to stay in this city (or country), whether to keep studying what she was studying, whether to settle in the country or to travel around the world, and whether to be with me or not. That being said, she cried the entire time we talked, told me I was very dear to her, and that I was way too nice, and that her friends told her she was stupid af for distancing herself from me. Apparently she always does the same thing: as soon as she starts getting close to someone, she runs away, or looks for someone else to keep her mind off the first guy, until the first guy dissapears and then she loses interest in the second guy as well. Anyway, I though I was going to be the exception to the rule... sadly I'm not.

Anyway, we decided to take some time, do whatever, and then talk again and see where each of us is, and what each of us wants. Honestly, I though she'd've spoken to me by now, it's been more than three weeks already. I miss her and still want to be with her, but this is turning pretty fucking bleack and depressing, and I don't think I can take this sort of broken-up-but-with-chance-of-going-back situation much longer.

Even if I feel chances of it working are dim, I still want to know I did everything in my reach to make it work, and be sure she knows how I really feel. I don't want to wonder, in a couple months, 'what if I'd spoken to her again'. So, basically, I want to tell her I am in love with her (something that never came out of my mouth so clearly). I'm wondering whether to do it in person (ask her to see her, and tell her all I've been thinking this past couple of weeks), or to write her a letter. She's a sweet girl, and she thinks I'm a sweet guy, so I think she'd like it if I do that. Plus I can write fairly well (better than I talk at least). And I'd bought her a little gift before we took that time (a rather symbolic gift, but I know she'll like it), and I could send it with the letter as well.
Clara Gagglemack - Sun, 19 Mar 2017 16:55:47 EST ID:TX3Ezud6 No.514612 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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There's some things to take in mind. If she still wants to break things off, would you rather have gotten to meet her a last time, or would you rather have that you only meet her again if she feels the same way?
And even if know you can get the phrasing right much easier in a letter, it won't have the emotional impact of getting it out face to face. You can't hold a letter in your arms. You can't watch her face as she reads your words.

I think meeting her is the right thing. Even if you end up apart, there's more of a solid ending to it, making it easier to accept that this is the way it is.

I wish you the best of luck!

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