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Porn Addiction by Albert Crumblesan - Mon, 09 Oct 2017 16:21:56 EST ID:VlXGR1pf No.519267 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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On my first few steps on my road to becoming a well-rounded and centred individual I have done some digging and realised I have a porn addiction.

Here's how I realised:

>I watch porn, every day, same time, same place, multiple times a day
>I eagerly await the moment I can watch porn
>I imagine women at work in pornographic situations regularly
>I imagine myself in pornographic situations even more frequently
>I struggle to talk to and connect to women on a personal level, I don't view them as people to bond with and listen to like I do with men
>I can't see women as anything other than an object for sex and I have NO IDEA how to talk to them

Unfortunately I'm nothing like Don Jon (pic related) and I don't have a cool car and an appartment to feel good about. I live with my mother and brother and don't have a healthy social life.

I'd appreciate some help.
>>
Awe' God !!vVWR8L52 - Mon, 09 Oct 2017 16:39:44 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.519268 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519267
YOU SOUND LIKE A COOL GUY.. JUST DO WHAT FEELS GOOD AND KNOW THAT YOU ARE APPRECIATED. THANK YOU PERSON.
>>
Albert Crumblesan - Mon, 09 Oct 2017 16:47:50 EST ID:VlXGR1pf No.519270 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519268

What gives you the impression that I'm cool.

I don't feel cool.
>>
Awe' God !!vVWR8L52 - Mon, 09 Oct 2017 16:52:58 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.519272 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519270
I recognize myself in you and I know I'm cool. I also recognize being harsh to myself and I know that if you were to drop that you'd recognize your awesomeness yourself.
>>
William Dartson - Mon, 09 Oct 2017 18:36:05 EST ID:xjU+ROV4 No.519275 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Start with some unattractive women then or something. Women are way easier to talk to than men.
>>
Fucking Worthingwater - Mon, 09 Oct 2017 19:37:37 EST ID:zPu+Cn1i No.519276 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519267
You've done well to notice something like this in yourself. Stay the path in identifying that and know that you are looking to appreciate life more fully, not just 'fit in'.

Porn can exaggerate sex greatly. If you have a real compulsion, try the harm-reduction way. Stick to amateur porn between couples, which is probably too tame for some but grounded and mutual. That other stuff can exist in certain relationships but my guess is you haven't had a totally explored sexual connection with someone..?

It's important you separate the idea from reality. A woman is just a person, with their own unique aspirations and struggles. See that uniqueness in people and show interest, you'll find it is received well. That's the simplest point to start from. How you carry out interpersonal communication will be your own process of learning/adaptation. Remember to respect and love other humans and you cannot fail.

One day at a time, hombre.
>>
Clara Hoffingdune - Mon, 09 Oct 2017 22:38:37 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.519280 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I treat women like other people. Of course I notice tits/ass, but I just tell my dick no and talk to them like they aren't sexual objects.

Haven't been in a new relationship in over 4 years now tho, so that might have something to do with it
>>
Angus Buzzhood - Tue, 10 Oct 2017 09:11:15 EST ID:67JhVSUT No.519282 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Watch more anime and play visual novels. You’ll start to recognize the female archetypes better and then you’ll see them as a person every time. All the girls in anime have great bodies. Some are a little more full of life and hometown while others are Flat is Justice, but each personality in the group is unique and valuable.

Watch out for the yanderes
>>
John Nobbleshit - Tue, 10 Oct 2017 10:33:40 EST ID:3qSLtzLv No.519283 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519267
Maybe do it gradually, like aversion therapy. Talk to women online, then talk to women who you aren't attracted to, then try talking to the women at work.

Practice mindfulness meditation, no really. It is really good with intrusive thoughts. You can't talk to them because pictures of them doing sexy things keep coming into your head, well you need to acknowledge those thoughts and let them go, and mindfulness meditation trains you to do that.

The advice about anime and female archetypes is bullshit. Maybe stop exclusively consuming media created by men.
>>
Ernest Blytheford - Tue, 10 Oct 2017 12:09:58 EST ID:VKGHaHuj No.519288 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519282

help how do i talk to girls? watch anime.

Yeah, no, fucking awful advice
>>
Betsy Paddlehot - Tue, 10 Oct 2017 14:57:52 EST ID:VlXGR1pf No.519291 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519276

Yeah I'm a virigin and I have no idea what real intimacy feels like.

I tried talking to a girl at work today and all I could think was 'DOES SHE LIKE ME YES OR NO'

I came to the conclusion the answer was no and it wasn't worth talking to her or anyone and I let thoughts of killing myself take over my mind.

>>519275

I really don't see how women are easier to talk to then men.
>>
Clara Hoffingdune - Tue, 10 Oct 2017 15:53:34 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.519292 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519291

Unfortunately it seems that the only thing that's going to cure you is exposure therapy.

Treat all your coworkers like they're just coworkers and talk to the females through that lens. Soon you'll realize that they're just normal people and have thoughts/feelings/dreams the same that you do.

>>519275

I kind of agree with this. But it also depends on the setting. In a college bar environment, women are likely to see you as men competing with other men for their attention, and men will see you as competition for the women.

It all depends on the atmosphere. But in a normal situation, I find that women are much easier to talk to. Unless you just come off as creepy/weird, but if that's the case, I propose that men will find you equally as creepy/weird.
>>
Clara Hoffingdune - Tue, 10 Oct 2017 15:58:30 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.519293 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Sometimes if I'm nervous, I'll put on my professional game face and talk to them like I would talk to a coworker or a client. That's usually pretty disarming, and it gives me a chance to be more comfortable around them along with them being more comfortable around me.

Your level of interest in new females should never be very high. That put's off a creepy vibe because it's easy to tell that you want something from them. And what's a new girl to do but assume you want to stick your pee pee in her holes. Think door to door salesman creepy, but you think they want to fuck you. So I guess, try to see things from their side of the fence and don't expect any 'results.' That kind of mentality is pretty shameful to me personally. But I think most men have been there at one time or another.
>>
Angus Crengerstud - Tue, 10 Oct 2017 22:02:40 EST ID:g4/yby/C No.519300 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519291
>I tried talking to a girl at work today and all I could think was 'DOES SHE LIKE ME YES OR NO'
That's cute
>I came to the conclusion the answer was no and it wasn't worth talking to her or anyone and I let thoughts of killing myself take over my mind.
That's not so much. Do you consider yourself definitely unattractive? Can you confirm this? So much adversity, if not all, is in the mind. If it were another person who deprecated your self so much, you'd refuse them, but we let our own ANTs (automatic negative thoughts) take hold without even checking if they're on the club list.

In fact, I want to reiterate that good relationships, platonic or romantic, arise from an atmosphere within our own selves. You will struggle enough with the quiet mental plagues that others carry, so for now maybe make it a goal to overcome some inhibitions of your own. This is not to say you have a deficit in your personality, but that you are not experiencing all of life's beauty. You can and will, if you turn your attention (not your anxiety) inwards and begin to appreciate yourself.

I'm sorry if this seems ambiguous, I do not know you and what is the best way to share this knowledge/perspective which has helped me a great deal. I would like to however, so feel free to elaborate on any disruptive processes you are becoming aware of as you explore this issue.

Again, one day at a time.
>>
Hamilton Pallerfoot - Tue, 10 Oct 2017 22:46:00 EST ID:2D4JLBQ1 No.519301 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Remember that watching porn is like getting stallioned through a screen and represents a direct attack on your masculinity.
>>
Ian Fanham - Wed, 11 Oct 2017 13:27:17 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.519314 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519301

That's why POV is the best.
>>
John Smallbanks - Thu, 12 Oct 2017 06:41:35 EST ID:JI9kO00V No.519331 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519288
Not to mention it's been getting bashed really hard for putting women in subservient roles. Not only will it make you look beta, it will NOT work with the general feminist mindset most women have nowadays.
>>
Jenny Billingstock - Thu, 12 Oct 2017 08:08:00 EST ID:67JhVSUT No.519335 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519331
Subservient? These women have watched enough anime to make that kind of judgement on the whole medium?

If you’re dealing with those empty minds who like to get pissed off, give them the argument they want. Tell them like it is- you’re offended by their shallow sexualization of incredibly complex characters. While you’re drawn to the unique emotional struggles and heroic efforts to overcome internal chaos, all they see is a pair of tits and assume that’s what anyone else could value in the character too.

The problem you are having OP, is the same as these guys who hate on anime here. You guys objectify the female figure and discard any notion of a capable, interesting person living beyond the soft breasts and schoolgirl outfit.

The porn you’re watching reinforces your problems because that’s the only value it empowers the female characters with. Anime on the other hand primarily focuses on the narrative and spiritual development of its heroines, where sex may or may not occasionally serve as a plot element.

Sex isn’t bad, it’s common and it’s always gonna be there. Embrace the sex, but also embrace the person.
>>
Angus Pickfoot - Thu, 12 Oct 2017 14:47:48 EST ID:3qSLtzLv No.519344 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519331
Feminism isn't all anti-porn. Part of feminism is accepting female sexuality. Certain porn, especially amateur porn that couples make themselves, is VERY feminist.
>>
Caroline Shakehood - Thu, 12 Oct 2017 14:53:53 EST ID:1GCa6dYP No.519345 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519282
lol this is the worst possible advice.
>>
David Clunningchere - Thu, 12 Oct 2017 22:37:10 EST ID:g4/yby/C No.519355 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519335
>The problem you are having OP, is the same as these guys who hate on anime here.
You know nothing about the lives of those posting in this thread.

>Anime on the other hand primarily focuses on the narrative and spiritual development of its heroines.
I think you're avoiding the word 'hentai', because any story aims for a narrative that develops its character/s. Also because you're talking about replacing porn.

Humor us plz with your fine selection of anime's that teach one to act in an egalitarian manner towards women IRL.
>>
Beatrice Gunningford - Thu, 12 Oct 2017 23:16:27 EST ID:67JhVSUT No.519356 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519355

Valkyrie Drive, Madoka Magica, Love Live and K-on! to name a few.

None of these plots center around men or the women’s interest in them. I shouldn’t have to say this, but Hentai is all about the sex. Nekopara for example is hentai (the creator is a woman too) in that every conversation or action is there to lead to sex. There is no reason to take part in these adorable catgirl’s lives other than that they’re cute and the story all focuses on eventually getting the sex scenes.

Valkyrie Drive is a particularly great example of how sex can be part of a story without being the driving force. That story can’t happen without sex, because it’s a crucial plot element. But it’s a freakin cool story on its own! A sort of anime Lord of the Flies.

You don’t like it then fine. My advice is anime, maybe some drugs too. Hit some DMT during the intro song of the 3rd Madoka movie plays, i don’t know maybe you’ll experience something greater within cute girls doing cute things. It worked for me and it’s better than all this garbage people say about quitting drugs and tinder dates with fat rednecks with kids.
>>
Awe' God !!vVWR8L52 - Fri, 13 Oct 2017 10:31:23 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.519364 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519335
ok, you peak my interest, please recommend a few anime movies and series with such characters you speak of. I adore Nausicaa, would love to meet another girl like that
>>
Basil Chambleforth - Fri, 13 Oct 2017 12:13:06 EST ID:WozaXgtK No.519369 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519293
I think it's a savage indictment of society that finding someone attractive and wanting to get to know them better or to fuck them, wanting something is pretty broad and some women actually just want to fuck anyhoo is creepy when a forced air of false disinterest is fine.

I mean you're mostly right. But it's just fucked up.
>>
Cyril Dubberstock - Fri, 13 Oct 2017 16:35:25 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.519372 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519369

Hey, I didn't write the game rules. By the time I kinda got good at playing it I ended up with a gf. Which was fine at first but got out of hand. May have played a role in my anxiety/depression.

It is what it is. Digressing off topic.

But you can totally get away with demonstrating your desire if you qualify for a good fucking: being highly rich/famous/attractive. Otherwise you have to use personality. Wield personality like a sword. And always be confident. You can't let rejections break you down, that's how you lose.
>>
Cyril Dubberstock - Fri, 13 Oct 2017 16:46:47 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.519373 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519369

It is just a game though. Treat it like one and you'll figure out how to win.

I assume that most people here are above average intelligence and introspective. That's all the tools you need to win. I mean, you weren't good at chess the first time you played it. It probably took a few tries before you got close to beating someone. Same thing as social interactions. If you study it, learn to read people, learn to gauge reactions, you gain your sharpening tools. After that is just swinging your stick around. Sometimes you'll make contact, sometimes you wont, but if you pay attention, you will lvl your stick up.
>>
Phoebe Pickwill - Fri, 13 Oct 2017 17:13:35 EST ID:AkBTpOns No.519374 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519364
pique* you pseudo-intellectual platitude-spewing moron degenerate
>>
Augustus Brorringtet - Fri, 13 Oct 2017 22:19:48 EST ID:67JhVSUT No.519383 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519364
Alright man this anime right here-

>CLAYMORE

I don’t want to spoil it so I won’t say much. It’s extremely empowering to women and touches on several themes regarding them as complete and interesting characters by their own right.

There’s some interesting, subtle sexual undertones that question society’s standards on virginity and sexual freedom, while the story never even gets close to being about the sex itself.

Totally worth watching!
>>
Awe' God !!vVWR8L52 - Sat, 14 Oct 2017 03:24:50 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.519386 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519374
lol, thanks for the tip
>>
Awe' God !!vVWR8L52 - Sat, 14 Oct 2017 03:27:11 EST ID:hQScIyLB No.519387 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519383
thanks mate, any movie you could recommend?
>>
Hedda Clingerridge - Sat, 14 Oct 2017 04:29:48 EST ID:yUhAjzvV No.519390 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519364
it's pique* when used that way, can't help myself here

in any case, if you're trying to find anime with prominent female lead roles or with strong women characters I know quite a few:

Kino's Journey
Serial Experiments Lain
Neon Genesis Evangelion
The Monogatari Series (Bakemonogatari, Owari, etc.)
The Kara no Kyoukai movie series
Any of the Ghost in the Shell series
Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica
Psycho-Pass
Revolutionary Girl Utena
>>
Emma Hoddlehure - Sat, 14 Oct 2017 09:15:25 EST ID:4LhpmB85 No.519395 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519387
Yes- Perfect Blue

This one even dives headfirst into some of the themes we're talking about and there is a character in it who shares OP's problem.
>>
George Fanwill - Sat, 14 Oct 2017 15:01:35 EST ID:g4/yby/C No.519397 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>It's now a thread recommending anime that helps weebs understand women.
>>
Jarvis Dunderdot - Sat, 14 Oct 2017 15:27:21 EST ID:4I/hIj3s No.519398 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519397
>"how to understand women"
>stay home and watch cartoons

>>
Caroline Blackway - Sat, 14 Oct 2017 20:41:54 EST ID:g4/yby/C No.519403 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519398
>Stay at home and watch cartoons from a culture that has an utterly incompatible and misogynistic view of women.

Honestly qq is so entertainingly sad it should have hide you pain harold meme for the icon.
>>
Hugh Blipperfuck - Sat, 14 Oct 2017 23:04:56 EST ID:67JhVSUT No.519409 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Azumanga Daioh is another one I recommend in your predicament. Take some time off work because you’ve got a lot of watching to do. Get it together!
>>
Lillian Crubberchere - Sun, 15 Oct 2017 05:58:15 EST ID:WozaXgtK No.519419 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519403
I remember when someone said "watch evangelion" and it was laughed at.

I mean from where OP is anime may enable a very limited amount of progress because he might be able to think of anime girls as having feelings before he does so with real ones but that's not a good end goal. Maybe a step 1 but this thread is really just anime discussion masked as helpful advice.
>>
Hugh Wickleway - Sun, 15 Oct 2017 10:32:31 EST ID:3qSLtzLv No.519424 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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No, then you end up like Crake and only able to interact with women who you have sanded down all the humanity out of.
>>
Edward Nuckletire - Sun, 15 Oct 2017 11:39:07 EST ID:JI9kO00V No.519427 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519335
This seems to be an interpretation unique to you. You've basically justified the whole pizza delivery guy, and lonely house wife motif as a proper scene with complexities we overlook, due to our reinforced mindsets.

Lol no, a dick in a mouth is fellatio, just as a skimpy outfit on an unreallistically proportioned highschool girl is just fan service. Like what you want to like, just don't use intelligence to justify the smut in it.
>>
Hamilton Smallfuck - Sun, 15 Oct 2017 12:26:00 EST ID:vL31CH/6 No.519428 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>519403
lol this, basically.

>watch fantasies of idealized female forms from a culture so fucked up in how it addresses sexuality that men are refusing to date real women and instead "marry" 2D representations of these fantasies
>>
Shit Honeyway - Sun, 15 Oct 2017 20:24:05 EST ID:g4/yby/C No.519430 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519419
I'll agree that divergent/creative thought draws on a wide pool of knowledge that many would call abstract/irrelevant. That being said, the point is that we don't get better at something by creating more distance from it. To waltz into someone's thread with this mentality of diagnosing and treating the issue with one's preferred recreational media is lazy, unfounded and downright sloppy and maybe even harmful.

Also fuck weebs.
>>
Basil Hacklenere - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 00:41:43 EST ID:4I/hIj3s No.519467 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519430
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand anime
>>
Thomas Fizzlefield - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 08:47:59 EST ID:LZcwMVpc No.519475 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519467
Keep telling yourself that bud.
>>
Basil Brissledatch - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 19:15:00 EST ID:VlXGR1pf No.519480 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What the fuck happened to my thread.

Anyway I'm not watching porn as much anymore but talking to women still terrifies me.

I'm planning on buying a prostitute and being done with the sex thing. Then I can live easier I think.
>>
Molly Femmlestock - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 20:30:39 EST ID:4I/hIj3s No.519481 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519480
Here's a thought: Start asking random women in the street for the time. Don't carry a watch, just force yourself to ask people the time. That's something that is not gonna get you in trouble, and talking to so many random girls might help your shyness go away.

Also don't just do it with women, ask men as well. Focus on being social in general, not in being nice to women exclusively.
>>
Eliza Mommerfield - Tue, 17 Oct 2017 21:40:33 EST ID:RM0nUBdj No.519482 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519480
““I might have herpes” is not a good conversation starter or confidence booster.

It’s like you didn’t even read the replies, you baka!
>>
Clara Chonnerfadging - Wed, 18 Oct 2017 05:51:29 EST ID:g4/yby/C No.519489 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519480
Haha, I was thinking what this looks to poor OP.

>>519481
This is some good advice. It's unlikely you aren't just bad with women but also have a selective group of people you can approach and relate to. The internet filters and breaks down people into groups that are easy to find but creates a bit of an echo chamber; I don't doubt that more and more people will struggle to generally relate as we do this.

If that is a problem, start small by putting yourself out there. There's no wrong answer, you're just trying to find a social voice.
>>
Charlotte Pollyfoot - Wed, 18 Oct 2017 06:21:23 EST ID:6P6u/bAq No.519491 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Striking up a conversation with a sexually attractive stranger is terrifying. Unfortunately there is no real foolproof method for talking to ladies. What I like to do is go somewhere far away where nobody knows who I am.

There's a densely populated city three towns over from where I live. I'll spend a few hours just trying to talk to random ladies on the street, in cafes or business parks. I haven't met anyone worthwhile but I have gotten used to talking to random women. Plus, the fact that almost every encounter is 100% cold makes it easier to just restart and try again if things don't go well. Optimal haircuts and clothing will vary depending on what type of woman you're trying to attract (different people like different haircuts/clothes) but across the board, you'll be surprised how many females respond positively to a combination of well-fitting clothes, good posture, a smile, eye contact, and a friendly wave. I am still an introvert though, and I find this practice incredibly tiring.

Free public events are a great (cheap) place to meet ladies with similar interests. I got a random woman to let me teach her how to mambo at a hispanic jazz festival.

The details of what you say, who you talk to, what you wear, where and when are up to you. It's like Robin Williams says in Dead Poets society "I want you to find your own walk right now. Your own way of striding, pacing. Any direction, anything you want. Whether it's proud or it's silly. Anything."

...But there are still some things that you should generally avoid:

>waiting around
From the moment a lady notices you looking at her, you have seconds to avoid creeping her out. Remain calm, establish eye contact, smile and wave. No sudden movements. If she smiles back, or even walks over and talks to you, GOOD! If she rolls here eyes, or looks away with fear and or shame on her face... don't worry about her too much.

After she knows you've acknowledged her existence, you don't have a whole lot of time to strike up a conversation with her without creeping her out. If you're at a loss for words, I've had moderate success with saying "Wattido?" as an icebreaker.

>Poor hygiene
Wash yourself with soap and toothpaste at least once every day. Unless you damage your skin from showering too much. Then you need to figure out a balance.

>Poor fitting clothes
If you're fat you're just going to have to accept that and stop trying to hide under a cotton glad bag. Oversized shirts are unflattering on anyone. And undersized shirts make you look like you stole a baby's clothes.
>>
Archie Ceddlewerk - Wed, 18 Oct 2017 15:53:30 EST ID:CfonqoA0 No.519495 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>519491

There you go, some real advice.

>>519480

OP, sorry about the weebs, girls don't typically like weebs so their advice is null/void. That said, there's still some nuggets in here worth reading.

If you feel a prostitute is what you need though, it's common practice in some countries to fuck one, especially if you're a virgin, so it's not weird though I wouldn't brag about it. And never mention it to another girl, obviously.

Anywho, just like a dog has to be socialized to get along with other dogs and play with them, a man has to be socialized to get along with other people and play with them. So my method is read about it, learn body language, and practice. Socializing is like playing a musical instrument. You practice it, get decent, and learn your own style.
>>
Henry Hirringwater - Sat, 21 Oct 2017 02:46:10 EST ID:oY2KBXa7 No.519544 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i haven't ejaculated in a month because i realized i had the same problem. life record, i'm 26. talking to women is MUCH easier now because i know i HAVE to do it if i'm trying to release semenz. haven't gotten laid yet though... good luck to us


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