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Goodbyes? by Cornelius Pittman - Tue, 14 Nov 2017 03:07:08 EST ID:KOWpnCki No.520005 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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How do you deal with goodbyes, /qq/ ?

I have had girlfriends that I consider to be really good friends, but the relationships never went anywhere so I broke up with them (or they broke up with me) but I am really bad at not talking to them because to me they have become good friends , and I feel like I always want to know how they are or what they're up to. Even if they tell me they don't want to talk to me I always leave that door open, and sometimes it is painful to think that a person really doesn't want to talk to you every again.

How do you know when to stop saying Hi? How do you know if your friendship is benefiting them or if it's time for you to move on? How do you move on?
Walter Sammernotch - Tue, 14 Nov 2017 10:17:45 EST ID:jQZ803QM No.520012 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>How do you know when to stop saying Hi?
when you don't have anything to say and your conversations always seem to be "hey, what's going on?" "not much, you?" "nothing" and then that's about it

>How do you know if your friendship is benefiting them or if it's time for you to move on?
if you have to ask yourself that question, it's probably time.

>How do you move on?
just stop getting in touch with them and drift apart.

op if the relationship was important to them they'd get in touch with you. stop texting them to see what they're doing out of habit and if they never hit you up, then it's better for your relationship to die naturally than to force it along like some sort of zombie for a few more months. if it's dead, let it go with some dignity.
Charles Cliggleham - Tue, 14 Nov 2017 15:34:45 EST ID:Svgtf+UD No.520016 Ignore Report Quick Reply

>How do you deal with goodbyes, /qq/ ?

Well, >>520012 is what you should do.

>How do you know if your friendship is benefiting them or if it's time for you to move on?

You should probably turn your brain off on this one and just go with things. It's good to think of other people, but if the friendship is no good for them they ought to be able to recognize the fact. If for some reason it was bad for them yet they kept speaking like normal instead of being honest with you/themselves, that's not your fault and not something you should spend your life considering.

>How do you move on?

For me, dealing with goodbyes requires some closure sometimes. There are three people in my life where if this classic drifting apart happened I would have a dramatic conversation with them regardless of how stupid it might make me look.

But conversation or not, moving on is just taking the hit to your feelings and letting it slowly feels normal again. Treat it exactly as physical injury(being unable to move on completely could be like arthritis pain from a bone break). I think this mindset speeds up the process.

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