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girlfriend problems by Albert Blinkinford - Tue, 09 Jan 2018 02:53:51 EST ID:qHG+0G4K No.521298 Ignore Report Quick Reply
File: 1515484431793.jpg -(33028B / 32.25KB, 480x360) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 33028
I'm in a serious relationship for the first time in my life (I'm 27, she's 22)
I've been with women but she's the first one who I said "I love you" to and been with the longest (5 months)
now she's really great but we've been living in my place together and I see shitty sides of her
sometimes she has 0 patience - snaps at me a lot for trivial things. if I don't do something perfectly or more accurately how she thinks is the perfect way to do it she yells at me.
now I always remain calm during these mood swings, I know that if I yell back or even try yo logically explain my point it will escalate into a full-blown argument. instead I just let her cool down, after which she always apologizes (which renews the hope that she will improve her behaviour with time)
the worst instance (so far) was a few days ago when after waking up, eating breakfast (which I made btw while she was chilling in bed) she decided I'm gonna cook soup for us and I'm gonna do it in half an hour
I said I'd do it in an hour and a half and that I'll need a bit of help because I'm not good at cooking she just snapped abd went "WELL NEVERMIND I'LL DO IT" then while the water was boiling she showered and went to another room to play with her phone. I noticed the water spilling so I turned down the heat and kept an eye on the pot. she came to kitchen just as it was spilling out a little again and yelled that I "never do anything"
at this point I went for a walk and to meditate in a park for about an hour
she went to her sister's place during this time for shopping
then she sent me "what's your problem?" and we hashed things out.
also another major issue is sex. we're both relatively I unexperienced (I mentioned my history, she was mostly in long relationships all her life, not many partners either) which I talked to her about
now during our conversation she said I don't fuck her enough so she has to watch porn (we fuck 4-5 times a week btw)
also she complained I'm bad at going down and she hasn't had an orgasm for a month
meanwhile when I try to talk about what/how she'd like me to be in bed she shuts down and doesn't want to talk about it
when I mention that it would make sex better and more exciting for me if she sucked my dick (she did it ONCE in all this time and after I practically had to beg for it) she literally couldn't care less
just an "I don't like it" and that's it
wouldn't even spit on her fucking hand while giving me one of her sad dry handjobs which I don't even cum from anymore
I love a lot of things about her, she accepts me in a way no one ever did, usually most of the time it's really good but I don't know anymore
I feel that with time I'll love her less, not more and it saddens me that I'm quickly falling out of love
literally every device is "talk to her" but it seems people don't understand that if only one person is committed to communication and tries to make effort it's useless advice unfortunately.
>>
Oliver Memmleman - Tue, 09 Jan 2018 02:57:07 EST ID:ttnmwPzO No.521299 Ignore Report Quick Reply
1515484627406.jpg -(48655B / 47.51KB, 719x542) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>521298
>(I'm 27, she's 22)

Thats quite the age difference. Did you adopt her?
Whats it like, dating your daughter?
>>
Nigel Fangold - Tue, 09 Jan 2018 05:40:17 EST ID:B6pb3bG+ No.521302 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521299
you gtfo lol stop ur trollin

anyway op it seems like you're dating a girl
also you're probably both high on marijuana 90% of the time so you should take that into effect
even though you don't even think like "oh man maybe i should attribute this behavior to being high af"
but you're high all the time so your perception of what is and is not high behavior is skewed
i mean you're posting your problems on 420chan ffs
if you were a normal person you'd be hitting up dan savage or some shit
if i was dan savage i'd tell you to DTMFA because you two obviously are not compatible and it's also very likely that you're bad at going down on her
keep your tongue on the clitoris
don't be an asshole and try to stick your tongue in the vagina
that's not what she wants
keep your tongue on the clitoris and lick at the same speed you move your hand
left-right with the tongue while you in-out with the fingers
you gotta tease her a bit, let her get into it then back off on the intensity
do that a couple times and pretty soon you're slamming three fingers into her while your eyes roll back in your head as you gasp for air while eating that pussy
yeee bruh
>>
Frederick Boblingstock - Tue, 09 Jan 2018 08:22:47 EST ID:1DF5Lf1V No.521303 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521298
OP I’m going to tell you something you already know deep down, and may not want to hear. She will make you miserable.

Nobody should reasonably be treated the way she treats you. Getting mad because of some boiling water? What the hell? Obviously there is a deeper problem and it’s not something that talking can work out.

You sound like a friendly, chill, level headed dude. I was the same way until after several years of verbal abuse and tiptoeing around tantrums from my ex caused a mental crisis when I finally realized she was ruining my life.

Save your body, mind, and soul by ditching this girl if you value any of those. Or, decide for yourself if it is better to not be alone and watch as your endless pain and misery is occasionally justified through the human social bond.

She probably has a borderline personality disorder and there is NO cure or coping with that. I wish you the best man, and I have a lot of empathy for what you’re experiencing.
>>
Albert Blinkinford - Tue, 09 Jan 2018 09:31:11 EST ID:qHG+0G4K No.521304 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521303
thanks for giving actual advice on the advice board.
I've decided to see what happens. After that last thing with the soup which like I said was so far the worst she seemed genuinely sorry and looks like she's making an effort to be good. If this is just part of the borderline (or whatever it is) thing than it will become clear enough if she does something like this again at which point I'm fucking out.
>>
Nell Bleckleshit - Tue, 09 Jan 2018 11:58:38 EST ID:7IGW3+Ip No.521307 Ignore Report Quick Reply
lol OP im in the same boat but im approaching 5 years. the childlike tantrums have been reduced in frequency and severity over time (she hasnt broken anything in a blind rage in almost a year!) but i am a shell of my former self and all my hobbies have shriveled up and died. my only relief is at least we are not married.
>>
L - Wed, 10 Jan 2018 20:06:53 EST ID:3tUKGVd1 No.521363 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I'd like to say that I also suspect borderline personality disorder.. I had a girl like this once, it's s tough one because she was very similar to what you described. Also told me she loved me fast, petty childish arguments, look up the disorder and you'll see the symptoms will stand out. I was lucky as I'd had previous girlfriends and knew this was t how things were meant to be.

She also wants you to have sex all the time not primarily anyway because she desires it, though she may well do.. The reAson behind that is she doesn't want you straying elsewhere, and society tells her that men want sex all the time..

Just fuck her till you get bored it's all you can really do im afraid

There's no life to be had here, try not to get attached because she's broken like my one was... it's sad but true
>>
Shit Nankinsture - Thu, 11 Jan 2018 12:20:04 EST ID:rG1V07Ll No.521380 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521298

It sucks that this is your first real relationship, but that bitch needs to go. First off, if you weren't happy without her then you won't be happy with her. Second off, she sounds like she will never be ready for a real relationship. Ditch her, for your own good. She has some growing up to do.
>>
Nigel Greenwater - Fri, 12 Jan 2018 13:29:24 EST ID:FhZBQuRz No.521425 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP here
so she wants to move in together, like RIGHT NOW. we currently live with my mom (she wasn't living there until a week ago, broke up with her boyfriend so she came back)
now my mom is really chill and spends most of her time outside the house so I feel that it's not really that bad, in the sense we don't have to rush anywhere.
basically I said that I want to work more hours than normal for a few months to have a good financial base before moving, that I decided I due to recent events detailed in the thread I want more time with her in general to see if I actually want to live with her.
she first agreed then said she's moving to her sister's place, then that she's moving alone and that I'm immature and don't give a fuck about her.
she's says that she doesn't "feel at home" - I understand this but again the circumstances aren't that bad. no one bothers her, my mom never says anything negative to her and is a pretty sweet setup overall. I agree that it's time to move out (wasn't thinking seriously about this since I was practically living alone already for the last year and a half while my mom was living with her boyfriend) but it makes sense to wait 3 months. which is all I asked - 2-3 months tops.
I feel like she's trying to emotionally blackmail me and guilt trip me about all this to make me do what she wants EXACTLY when and how she wants to. and moving out is a huge step so why doesn't it make sense to wait a little?
Am I right here? I really think this is the going to be the end of this.
>>
Augustus Werrystone - Fri, 12 Jan 2018 13:35:25 EST ID:7IGW3+Ip No.521426 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521425

>a girl who cares nothing about me and just got off the dick carousel is now mooching off me and my family and is demanding i further overextend myself to support her even more what should i do?
>>
Fuck Brinninghure - Fri, 12 Jan 2018 15:25:24 EST ID:YeKAEOKH No.521431 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521425
This could well be the end of your relationship.

And that's fine. If it ends here you made the right move and didn't fuck up. You had fun for a while, shit went south, you realised there was no future, tried to approach the problems, she didn't engage and it ended. You will only have something to regret if you back down. Either she dumps (frees) you, you dump her or she relents. Those are all fine outcomes. Continuing on while it deteriorates and she acts in a manipulative and petty way is not good. This is not a competition, it's collaboration and she clearly feels the need to get even with every slighting so she's doing it wrong. If you know she's manipulating you and it's not for your own good get out. If she genuinely cares and is trying to better you that's one thing but if she's just trying to get you to do what you don't want to do for her own fulfillment and mostly her ego she's a shit. She doesn't care about you, she doesn't love you. Love is when you want to see someone thrive.

If you're in a shit relationship it's worse than being single and stops you being in a good one. Your relationship isn't shit but it's heading south way too fast to be even "okay" in 6 months let alone 6 years.

If this fails consider this, you have learned, you've dealt with bullshit and will have faced it down. You will know you can do it and you'll be better at the next relationship whether it's another rapidly dispatched toxic girl or a lady worth your time.
>>
Sophie Davingdatch - Fri, 12 Jan 2018 16:43:09 EST ID:lNke1dew No.521436 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521425
Definitely borderline

Abandon all hope ye who enter here
>>
John Fellyshit - Fri, 12 Jan 2018 17:39:34 EST ID:kAEKpfyQ No.521437 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521425
>she wasn't living there until a week ago, broke up with her boyfriend so she came back

I thought you said you were together for 5 months. This isn't a poly thing is it?
>>
William Burrynick - Fri, 12 Jan 2018 21:20:24 EST ID:wkzBFt+n No.521438 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521431
>>521436
thanks guys, I'll see how it goes I guess. I feel prepared for anything and I'm definitely not backing down.
>>521437
My mom broke up with her boyfriend a week ago and came back to the house.
>>
Edwin Serryway - Sat, 13 Jan 2018 08:29:11 EST ID:2X869tbp No.521439 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521438
It’s like you want to be miserable. Do what you like but we all warned you
>>
Fucking Crockleshit - Sat, 13 Jan 2018 09:00:54 EST ID:I3Iy9lXv No.521442 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521298
I recommend reading Carl Gottman's books for ideas about how to broach these problems with her and work on them together without it turning into an argument, I'm not sure which ones are particularly helpful because i read a bunch in succession and then got them all mixed up

When you go with a new partner you trade all the problems you have with the old ones for an equal number of new problems, but the new person's problems might be easier to deal with.. anyway, the grass is always greener, the people here sound like they've never lived with someone.
>>
Angus Widdleway - Sun, 14 Jan 2018 06:11:39 EST ID:ZMDYtLUz No.521469 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521442
nu/qq/ are halfchan robots and all they can do is spit their extremely poor quality psychoanalyzing and half timbered logical structures out at you. Shame they don't realize the training wheels come off here.
>>
Hugh Smallford - Mon, 15 Jan 2018 06:50:13 EST ID:/pl3Lein No.521501 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This woman is clearly not good to you. Saying she loves you when she treats you like shit doesn't change that.
>>
Ernest Bardfoot - Mon, 15 Jan 2018 08:47:45 EST ID:6ZCf97BY No.521505 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>521501
Yeah but, don't all women do that?
I knew a girl who would become the Devil incarnate when she's going through her period. Some women cant help it. I think.
>>
Albert Lightstone - Mon, 15 Jan 2018 18:16:49 EST ID:YeKAEOKH No.521518 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>521505
>Yeah but, don't all women do that?
No.

Also PMT and manipulating you are different things. What planet are you from that you give the two a semblance of parity?

I suppose long ago I hung out with the worst of womankind and they chased off the good ones so I got this feedback bubble of manipulative, sexually assault, assault, cheating, stealing, intimidation, manipulation and control and didn't know any better because they chased off anyone who didn't fall in line. most of them work or worked in marketing too lol After they destroyed my life they thankfully cast me aside and I realised I'd been pulled into a whirlpool of shit. I met women who were a positive influence, they helped my interview technique, set me up with their friends or were just helium at absolute zero.

If the women you know are like that then don't accept it because it's normal. It's not. Get the fuck out. Continuing to put up with that shit slowly reinforces you low standard as normal too, it warps you even if you're not in the firing line.


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