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There's something up my bum by Fucking Simblegold - Sun, 08 Apr 2018 13:58:01 EST ID:bdaX/qoh No.523333 Ignore Report Quick Reply
File: 1523210281011.png -(176116B / 171.99KB, 460x357) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. 176116
I've got this uncomfortable kind of itch, in my rectum, it's weird, it's not quite an itch, but somewhere between an itch and a tickle, as if there is a little spider crawling in my rectum. It's as seriously disturbing feeling, and all I can imagine is some little speckled, crusty motherfucker spider scuttling around in there. I've never had anything like a spider in my ass before, although a few years ago I did mysteriously see a spider in the toilet after I took a dump, though not a big one. Any advice, so far I have stuck a small old broken pencil up my bum out of curiosity to see what might happen, but it's like nothing happens, and then I take the pencil out and the "scuttling" starts again. It's just awkward and worrysome and not a nice sensation.
Martin Greenford - Sun, 08 Apr 2018 15:17:09 EST ID:USUZpST+ No.523334 Ignore Report Quick Reply
u got worms
Hamilton Brookwell - Sun, 08 Apr 2018 15:20:14 EST ID:dVp8iHEG No.523335 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You have pinworms OP
Fucking Simblegold - Sun, 08 Apr 2018 15:23:53 EST ID:bdaX/qoh No.523336 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Well then why does it stop when I stick the pencil in? It's currently been washed in the sink and is drying awaiting another try, I won't be able to see any worms on the pencil will I? This feels like something the size of an average spider, I thought pinworms were meant to be tiny.
Fucking Simblegold - Sun, 08 Apr 2018 15:29:14 EST ID:bdaX/qoh No.523337 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Anyway any tips on flushing them? Laxative? Fasting? I had a maggot infestation from eating wild mushrooms once and was able to get rid of that by drinking lots of tea and eating nothing.
Wesley Clevinglitch - Sun, 08 Apr 2018 15:54:58 EST ID:0DBxGSSv No.523338 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Likely you just need to clean your ass better. Pinworm infection is rare in a developed country.
Fucking Simblegold - Sun, 08 Apr 2018 15:57:32 EST ID:bdaX/qoh No.523339 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Well I work at a hot deli meat counter, sometimes the we cook slightly out of date meat, that might have something to do with it. I have to keep scratching my hole at work with my finger through the apron, it sucks. Last week the fat barrel spilled on me, that might have something to do with it.
Ian Honeyman - Mon, 09 Apr 2018 14:51:17 EST ID:OhXZg5XK No.523350 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Boop and poop. - Tue, 10 Apr 2018 00:01:37 EST ID:VacgdclH No.523360 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Who the fuck taught you hygiene? Holy shit guy, how often do you get pink eye.
David Fimmlehood - Tue, 10 Apr 2018 01:51:14 EST ID:3A/9rSkO No.523364 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Oh, then it's tapeworms. Have fun.
Shitting Worthinglock - Wed, 11 Apr 2018 05:21:56 EST ID:PtZiTOyO No.523385 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Shave your ass, and non sexually finger your asshole until its done itching w/ that pencil or something OP
Or, ya know, just go see a doctor
Edward Bubbletudge - Wed, 11 Apr 2018 06:23:55 EST ID:KmtMUNXw No.523386 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Use a baby wipe after wiping
Shave the hair around your asshole
Use organic detergent or detergent for sensitive skin
Use chloroseptic numbing spray (for severe sore throats) on your asshole

Good luck
Isabella Hiblingwon - Fri, 13 Apr 2018 02:19:35 EST ID:HSZek2sf No.523434 Ignore Report Quick Reply
OP you probably have a tapeworm infection. Especially if you only feel it at random times, especially if it gets worse at night. Trust me I know from very recent personal experience. If you dont treat it now the symptoms will get worse, you'll start getting really exhausted constantly from malnutrition. I was sleeping 14 hours a day and would still be completely tired when I woke up. Raw pumpkin seeds are a natural remedy, you'll want to eat them until you can't physically eat any more, then wait about 35-50 minutes and take a dump. What you see might change your life. Good luck.
Fuck Blatherstone - Fri, 13 Apr 2018 06:53:28 EST ID:K8ddMAJb No.523435 Ignore Report Quick Reply

very good idea. any ideas on names for the tapeworm when it is birthed?
Cyril Chishwot - Sat, 14 Apr 2018 09:34:43 EST ID:HJRNf/XO No.523449 Ignore Report Quick Reply
WORMS YOU HAVE WORMS or parasites GO TO DOCOTOR FOR WORMS or maybe a vet
Graham Pickham - Sun, 15 Apr 2018 00:41:12 EST ID:QQ6bGqYn No.523463 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Just buy fucking worm treatment pills (can't think of the proper name) at the chemist.

> I had a maggot infestation from eating wild mushrooms once and was able to get rid of that by drinking lots of tea and eating nothing

Or you know, continue with the bait.
Barnaby Sullerridge - Mon, 16 Apr 2018 01:33:33 EST ID:dFnBHUUb No.523480 Ignore Report Quick Reply
its probably a jerbel up your ass
Jenny Nicklespear - Mon, 16 Apr 2018 12:33:12 EST ID:FwheuJ8x No.523485 Ignore Report Quick Reply
1523896392834.jpg -(100373B / 98.02KB, 555x295) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>as if there is a little spider crawling in my rectum
>some little speckled, crusty motherfucker spider scuttling around in there
>I've never had anything like a spider in my ass before, although a few years ago I did mysteriously see a spider in the toilet after I took a dump

So I suspect what we have here is in fact a trapdoor spider has taken residence inside your rectal cavity, briefly emerging only to snatch passing insects before quickly retreating back in to the dank depths.

I mean think about it, it's the perfect place - if there's a cockroach crawling around your leg at night, and you move while you're sleeping, it's instinctively gonna go for the warm dark retreat and try to burrow its way in to your anus. It's practically a free meal.

The sensation you're feeling is just that the spider's been there long enough for it to have time to lay its eggs, which have now hatched. You're gonna be shittin' webs for weeks kid.
Eliza Goodcocke - Sat, 21 Apr 2018 16:47:09 EST ID:o/mRPhYl No.523576 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Ayahuasca may help. The MAOI often stuns worms/parasites.

But.. just go to the doctor, you aren't in a rainforest away from civilization.
Hugh Blackworth - Mon, 23 Apr 2018 18:55:44 EST ID:3A/9rSkO No.523591 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>not keeping the worms to prevent cardiovascular disease, atherosclerosis, multiple sclerosis, allergies, general obesity, type 1 and 2 diabetes and all mental health disorders

Plebs. OP's gonna live longer than all of you.


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