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Girlfriend left when came back from her "world-trip" by Monster Trialis - Wed, 09 Jan 2019 16:30:29 EST ID:BfQPvhKL No.528663 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Everything hurts right now.

My now ex-fiance went on a back-pack-trip for weeks, came back today and was acting very strange.
I was happy when she finally arrived, we planned our wedding for this years summer!

First she told me how many exciting people she met, but was talking like she was very uncomfortable near me and some hours later she broke up with me.

This "world-tour" was kinda her big dream where she saved up some money, and got
a money-package for this tour as an early christmas-present from me!

As soon as she broke up with me she went outside called someone and took her remaining stuff with her... like wtf.

my head spins and I don't know why this happened.
I really don't know what went wrong!
I could cry but feel so in shock that I can't do anything!

The prepared selfmade pizza and candles and selfmade cocktails are still sitting there on the table...
Nigel Fanville - Wed, 09 Jan 2019 16:53:29 EST ID:USUZpST+ No.528664 Ignore Report Quick Reply
That's really shitty man, I'm sorry. Keep it together.
Phyllis Crodgefig - Wed, 09 Jan 2019 17:08:15 EST ID:rTQzzI7S No.528665 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Shit sucks but at least you didn't marry her. I'm sorry you had go through this but it could be worse. She wasn't mature enough to handle some time apart and you did the caring boyfriend thing. At least she's gone out your life quickly. Make sure your friends know what's up, though it sounds like she won't drama too much and just wants to move on.

It's harder for you but you should also move on. It's going to really suck and you'll need time to grieve but start working out how to move forward. What do you want to do with your life. What is your big dream? If you don't have one then work out what you want to improve that you can and start planning steps. There's a balance between grieving and wallowing. Don't flee your emotions but don't give up on life.
Cyril Brugglenadging - Wed, 09 Jan 2019 18:15:12 EST ID:LUMBEv8P No.528666 Ignore Report Quick Reply
To me it seems pretty obvious that she had a taste of freedom and realized she prefers her freedom over getting hitched and tied to you. Marriage makes some people feel like they're about to have their freedom taken away, and they only have a sedentary life of responsibilities and children to look forward to.
I wouldn't call that immature (although the bluntness of her action is cold blooded), it just means she's not ready to sacrifice her freedom yet.
She may have also decided (right or wrongly) that she doesn't actually need you.

I know this isn't going to help you, but in hindsight: you should have gone with her, probably.

That last sentence broke my heart, though.
93DarkKnight - Wed, 09 Jan 2019 18:50:37 EST ID:JCATCBbz No.528670 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What a cold person. It sounds like she's really impulsive, in a bad way. I can't imagine how you feel there, but I wouldn't wish that on my gayest incel. It seems like you've done a lot for this person for them to completely nonreciprocate like that. It breaks my heart too, but >>528666 is right; you should've planned to go together. At least that way it would have dampened her wildness. Here's the cut of jib though - you won. You came out better off than she did from this relationship. She still doesn't know who she is, while you're settled down and fully prepared to plan one of the biggest ceremonies most people will experience. You're a fucking diamond mate, don't beat yourself up too much. I'd use the opportunity to meet someone new, someone with a solid core ID for you to grow and develop with. I have a Ph.D in armchair psychiatry.

All said you're a stand-up chap. You handcrafted a beautiful dinner, borne of your kind heart. She's a slag. In case you need extra convincing; your witch of an acquaintance traveled the world on your dime, and barfed it up on your lap to deal with. Pass it or ash it buddy. I'm here if you need me
Nigel Hurrysitch - Wed, 09 Jan 2019 18:54:49 EST ID:U99A5Mm4 No.528671 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Dude you're so fucking lucky mate you dont even know.

This woman could have fucking married you and then left on an afternoon when the breeze slightly changed. Clearly she wasn't feeling it for a while and hadn't said anything or she got swept up in some other kind of love that was more powerful.

That's not the woman to commit to. That's not the woman to grieve. Grieve over your idea of her, because the real her isnt worth it. Fuck her.

Dark days ahead, but also intoxicating freedom. Go on a holiday. Live your life. You are alive.
Walter Goodcocke - Wed, 09 Jan 2019 18:55:08 EST ID:+eu7fILs No.528672 Ignore Report Quick Reply
honestly relationships cant work it would be really really rare to find one person that could do it let alone 2 people who happen to meet and fall in love. its just not possible.

given the right circumstances ANYONE will cheat
Monster Trialis - Wed, 09 Jan 2019 19:03:08 EST ID:BfQPvhKL No.528674 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>should've planned to go together

it was not possible to go with her because I got flooded with work and my boss did give us only some free days for our wedding and honey-moon.

In hindsight it explains a lot why she still wanted to go alone.
Hugh Snodbury - Wed, 09 Jan 2019 22:13:23 EST ID:+Tof+qQ/ No.528680 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Dodged a bullet man. You'll find a better one some day. I made out with a 19 year old who was engaged like 2 weeks ago. Some of these hoes really aren't worth it. Think about how 10 years down the line you find out she fucked some foreign guy while you were engaged or something. Or worse, you come home to her with someone else. Or she just decides to take half your money and shit out of the blue.

Marrying someone who's not completely in love with you would have been so much worse. I feel your pain though, man. I hope this never happens to me. I'm sure it will at some point though, happens to a lot of people.
Sidney Foddleridge - Thu, 10 Jan 2019 01:01:58 EST ID:hBEhmcBg No.528681 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Hoooooooooooolyyyyyy shit dude, that's why I can never afford to get close to anyone ever again. FUCK me, that's the fucking blues if I've ever heard it OP.. I don't even know. Goddamn.

Man, buddy, I hope you drank those drinks and tossed that pizza out the window for starters, and called a dear friend if you have anyone nearby. This sounds like the time to get drunk and get out a good cry. You probably dodged a bullet there, as a lot of other people already said. And I don't mean that in a bitter incel way, it sounds like you legitimately got away from the traintracks in seconds before the train rammed you down. Tho maybe it feels like you've been hit right now..

This is probably going to be kinda shit to read, but, from what I know from those world travelling tours and that shit, you've probably escaped getting chlamydia for a starter. And hey, that tale, I don't know shit about women but I bet you'll get some sympathy-fucking for that one. Also, you're clearly kinda established and have some money, so in MY petty narrative, I'd say work on that and MAKE her regret leaving you, you're a man, you are THE man, and she missed out to probably live with some dude who refuses to shower and spends his days selling dimebags and bracelets!

Fuck that stupid bitch dude, know you can stretch your legs in bed and find someone cooler one day. I know I'm just talking piss, this is all too real to me. I guess it's just my way of saying that I'm really sorry that she broke your heart, and that I hope you'll feel alright in a little while. You never know, this might set your life on a new path of awesome shit.

Tell me if you want me to send you some good heartbreak--music, the REAL kind and not some gay ass bullshit.
Rebecca Drindlefoot - Thu, 10 Jan 2019 04:56:27 EST ID:3FrFO6rK No.528685 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Sounds like you dodged a bullet there man
Fanny Blebbershaw - Thu, 10 Jan 2019 05:23:13 EST ID:USUZpST+ No.528686 Ignore Report Quick Reply
damn it stop saying "dodged a bullet"
Ben Cartwright - Thu, 10 Jan 2019 07:31:12 EST ID:hBEhmcBg No.528689 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Haha, that's kind of funny. Because in hindsight, he dodged internal bleeding, but kinda already bit the bullet..
Albert Furringnot - Thu, 10 Jan 2019 08:28:40 EST ID:/XvieVYl No.528690 Ignore Report Quick Reply
LOL That's a fucking hoe, she took your money to the trip and cold bloodedly left you right after?
What a fucking scam artist, dirty whore.
I'm sure it hurts but this woman is not worth 0.00001 cent. She probably fucked some brown guy on shrooms or some shit and thought that was the funnest experience ever. She'll burn out soon.
However you were a little stupid. I would've seen this coming. Letting your girl go on a world tour without you? Guaranteed "woke" experience for her when she realises she just wants to suck "exciting people"s dicks and travel around the world. Could've seen this coming. I don't blame you though.
You are the man. You even made food and everything and even gave her money. Fuck this cold blooded fucking bitch ass hoe. Fuck her. Let her die.
You do your thing man.
Albert Furringnot - Thu, 10 Jan 2019 08:33:11 EST ID:/XvieVYl No.528691 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Also, after a while start harassing her about the money you gave her. Like don't say anything, just calmly mention that you respect her decision and don't give a fuck, but that's not what she got the money from you for. So gotta settle a plan on how can she pay you back.
She scammed you bro. She took your money and ran off. Of course if you're still emotionally invested don't do this, but I would definitely do this.
Shitting Noshson - Thu, 10 Jan 2019 13:14:19 EST ID:PMiKxfAC No.528693 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Superman that hoe
Nathaniel Sishmin - Thu, 10 Jan 2019 13:19:29 EST ID:rTQzzI7S No.528694 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You don't know if she planned to cheat or just couldn't help herself when she got out there. You don't know if she had notions of marriage and commitment (or maybe you've made it clear you want a tied down baby factory) but regardless, she handled it in the worst way possible and you are better off in the long term.
Thomas Clayway - Thu, 10 Jan 2019 14:10:41 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.528696 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>ITT : good advice, pitchforks, condolences and thinly veiled misogyny

Man, at the end of the day, it is the right of every individual to pick their company and their lifestyle. She went away, she got indoctrinated by a bunch of traveler types and she's decided that she's not going to settle down. I had a girlfriend who went this way. Truthfully, more power to her. Whatever life she got a taste of, whatever sales pitch she got - it's obviously what she wants to chase. Once someone goes down a rabbit hole bro, they don't come back out the same.

It's a shame for you. But ultimately, once that mental/emotional threshold has been breached and whatever life they are living is no longer "for them" - they will cut ties with everything. To take any other route, is just false and nobody really has any obligation to live out a relationship, even if they were getting married.

Best not to take it personally. See it as the woman you knew, having changed so dramatically that you no longer recognize her. Whatever happened, she is now plotting a different course, one which doesn't involve you.

For what it's worth, beyond casual hook ups, she probably won't have anyone else with her for a long time. It's been 2 years since my ex left me, as far as I can tell, she doesn't have a new man and most of her facebook photos are her travelling around the place inbetween work night outs back home. It makes sense not to have stayed with me. It makes sense for your girl to have not stayed with you.

Things suck, people suck, it's life, whatever. You gotta do you and just appreciate that you have basically just had one door close and a fucking billion open up. Once you get over the hump bro, you'll probably be in really good standing for your next phase of life. Clearly you are a gentleman and women do love a good heartbreak story.
Nigel Nickleshaw - Thu, 10 Jan 2019 14:59:54 EST ID:LUMBEv8P No.528698 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I avoid complimenting other people (irl and online) for their wisdom or intelligence because a) who am I to judge that b) it lacks substance and it might bloat your ego and c) it's easy to get into a situation where person X thinks person Y is intelligent because person Y thinks person X is intelligent.

having said all that... I think this is a good post and it contains a lot of wisdom.
Albert Furringnot - Thu, 10 Jan 2019 16:46:27 EST ID:/XvieVYl No.528699 Ignore Report Quick Reply
yeah it's a totally normal thing to take someones money to travel, spend it on sucking foreign dick, coming back enlightened and ditching them
It's all just finding yourself man, very normal, power to her
Polly Biblingbidge - Thu, 10 Jan 2019 20:09:16 EST ID:U99A5Mm4 No.528701 Ignore Report Quick Reply
It is normal though man. The thing is that the dummies dont do it on purpose. They do it as a consequence of being authentic to their true selves. That's why people are always being assholes. They are short sighted people guided by passions and self told lies.

She didnt plan to take his money and run hopefully. She took his money in good faith and then started running because she felt it was time to do so. Is it the same thing? Yes. But to the emotional human? No. This difference is in intention. Non short sighted individuals would call it at the start. I shouldn't take this chumps money, I'm not really feeling it but yeah, the emotional one wants to be good you know. Wants to think that they would go home happy and get married after the trip. But they disappoint. This applies to men too as well.

It's so boring tbh. Wisdom is accepting the naive shittiness of our blind friends, while not poisoning ourselves with the cynicism that entails.
Fucking Sucklehood - Fri, 11 Jan 2019 05:15:56 EST ID:yDKihQN5 No.528711 Ignore Report Quick Reply

That’s what a few years to reflect on it does. For the sake of transparency, I was not remotely wise or civil at the time about it and took the whole situation very poorly.


Do you not go outside or something?

Live a little and come back. >>528701 nailed it on my behalf and even added some stuff I wouldn’t have came up with
Eliza Saffingmug - Fri, 11 Jan 2019 18:56:09 EST ID:NJkLq9MW No.528714 Ignore Report Quick Reply
she is a bitch
i dont suppose she paid you back, did she?
Ian Capperspear - Sat, 12 Jan 2019 07:54:45 EST ID:RO4g+pTF No.528725 Ignore Report Quick Reply
She probably felt like she got a new perspective and broadened her horizons on the trip. High on the realization there was more out there than she understood before, she foolishly chose to believe that she likely deserved somebody "more", because coming back to you after the trip would've likely felt to her as if she were settling for somebody.

In a year or two she will likely come to the realization that things didn't change at all for her, and that it was a mistake to have left you thinking that she somehow deserved better because she had some how become a better person after backpacking around the world (like only a spoiled well-to-do person from a developed country even could). She likely feels more enlightened, well rounded, and experienced from her trip... which in her eyes makes her better than you (along with most everybody else she knows or will ever encounter). But, as I said, in 2 years she'll know that nothing actually changed, despite thinking everything had. At that point she may even try wriggling her way back into your arms.

If you don't accept her, she'll probably wind up blaming the rest of the world for her fuck up somehow instead of accepting any responsibility for her own foolishness. The most common coping mechanism for somebody that entitled and childish is to double down on the ideas that caused them to make their mistake to begin with to avoid the blame and pain that comes from having ruined everything themselves. I.e., she'll believe she really HAD changed and become something more on that trip, that she is a better and more enlightened person than just about everybody else, and that the reason that she can't find the kind of man she feels she now deserves and couldn't get you back either is precisely because you all happen to be so small-minded in your ignorance that nobody is capable of appreciating just how valuable she believes she's become as a person.

If I'm right, she did you a favor. As a matter of fact, even if I'm wrong, she still did. Anybody who would call off an engagement and relationship entirely after going on a backpacking trip was never going to be in it for the long run. I'm sorry this happened to you, and I don't mean to make light of it or how it's affecting you or anything by being this callous about it, but I believe someday you'll understand what I said is true. Good luck to you man, hope your life goes well
Cedric Brorrykut - Sat, 12 Jan 2019 13:50:42 EST ID:/XvieVYl No.528730 Ignore Report Quick Reply
i dont go outside taking hundreds of dollars from someone who loves me then come back inside and dump them lol
Nathaniel Turveybury - Sat, 12 Jan 2019 14:21:14 EST ID:THNi/hHd No.528731 Ignore Report Quick Reply

This must hurt so much. So sorry OP
Hamilton Sirringmug - Sat, 12 Jan 2019 15:13:51 EST ID:o8/iG2l7 No.528732 Ignore Report Quick Reply
you would if you were a cunt.
John Nazzlechud - Sat, 12 Jan 2019 15:59:09 EST ID:Dea+8nq/ No.528735 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I feel for you man. It sounds like you put a lot into her. You had the the whole spread, dinner, cocktails, wedding. Sounds like you did everything right but she wasn't ready. It's for the best it never happened and the pain you feel now will effect you for the rest of your days in some way or another, but if you're strong you will learn to trust again and move on.

Just don't get back together with her, she may suddenly change her mind but remember the pain she caused you. backing out on a wedding is almost as bad as it gets, and it's very likely if you hook up again you could end up with the same situation only inside a marriage, which is even worse than what you're currently going through.

On the plus side, YOU'RE SINGLE AGAIN!
Hedda Pockbanks - Wed, 16 Jan 2019 18:52:29 EST ID:AWCcnD0p No.528824 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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dude, seriously:
You got damn lucky!
Imagine if that whore got pregnant and you'd have to pay 70% of your hard-earned money while your ex spends it on coke-parties with her globetrotter-douches!

Sounds like you dodged a fucking gold-digger.
Polly Blatherbury - Wed, 16 Jan 2019 22:15:04 EST ID:dwxJXzd4 No.528826 Ignore Report Quick Reply
She prolly cheated on you and then thought you were no longer good enough for her

You dodged a bullet honestly man, sucks but at least you know she's not the one for you

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