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There must be others by Molly Mellywat - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 00:41:07 EST ID:KAiLFcPD No.278266 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Do all stim users feel this?
I'll do coke, amphs, meth, whatever.

I come up for some minutes, but then it starts to come up more in waves. I'll dip a touch then shoot up, dip a touch then shoot up more, etc
Then at the peak I wave up and down (the downs are noticeable and go on for a couple minutes)

And when I come down, my happiness DIVES, recovers a bit, DIVES, recovers a bit, etc. into negative, "maybe stims aren't my thing" territory for a short while.

During the sharpest moment of each dive, I'm so down that I lose the motivation to really do much, even redose. I actually wrote this post in waves bc I'm on speed right now and occasionally didn't feel like even bothering to ask
It can get pretty bad sometimes. Do I just suffer comedowns more intensely or did you guys just figure out how to minimize the pain?
>>
Molly Mellywat - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 00:42:21 EST ID:KAiLFcPD No.278267 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Have a cute aryan girl for reading
>>
Molly Mellywat - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 00:43:52 EST ID:KAiLFcPD No.278268 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Also, would you know of any mindset to get into or something during the downturns that may help my case here?
>>
Molly Mellywat - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 00:54:28 EST ID:KAiLFcPD No.278269 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Exhibit A: Currently on a downtrend, thinking things like "why even post this, since it's not like there's some magic answer"

But in 5 minutes, I'll be sitting comfy again, posting another pop star that I'll never get to bang, in a good enough mode to consider if I want to redose to extend my time up enough to finish filing my taxes tonight.
>>
Molly Mellywat - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 01:02:32 EST ID:KAiLFcPD No.278270 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Predictions were correct.
I find that occupying myself with things to actively do (like look at attractive women and type stuff) keeps me afloat more, and I'm probably gonna inhale another small bump, and then take etiz in a couple hours to really soften everything out.
>>
Molly Mellywat - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 01:12:11 EST ID:KAiLFcPD No.278271 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Took a couple mg of etiz and everything has really smoothed out, but I'm still stimmed. The sharp euphoria has been smudged a bit but it's definitely something I'm willing to pay up with.
I may end up using this technique from now on
>>
Molly Mellywat - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 01:32:29 EST ID:KAiLFcPD No.278272 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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(nbing btw)
I still do feel some downs but it's not "fuck stims forever" tier like I get sometimes.

I still am wondering who else feels this way about stimulants, though. Even too much coffee can put me in a shitty downtrend post-peak. It's not even just lethargy, it's a legitimate depressing feeling.
>>
Molly Mellywat - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 01:48:27 EST ID:KAiLFcPD No.278273 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Did another small eyeballed bump of speed (maybe a third of my previous dose) and just gummed a couple more mg of etiz. Will let know how goes
>>
Molly Mellywat - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 02:35:15 EST ID:KAiLFcPD No.278274 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Etiz has made me so calm that the waves have smoothened out by maybe 80%.
The physical stimulation and sociability are all still here, though.
I don't think I'll redose anymore but this is most definitely a nice semi-solution.

I love modafinil for keeping me up without ever getting very euphoric, just because that means there is very little comedown outside of the physical stimulation.
>>
Vehk !7HYGxe5v5c - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 02:35:52 EST ID:HLyXmKS0 No.278275 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>278266

This is how it is. You get diminishing returns during use, I'd conjecture because available neurotransmitters are continually exhausted and not replenished at the same rate as they're consumed.

It used to be that I'd take a strong dose of amphetamine, and even if I had no more left it would carry me through feeling good for 5 or 6 hours, and then I'd decline to a state that I would describe as normal and content but tired. After months of heavy dosing and use, tolerance, and psychoses, when I now take amphetamine I experience the usage pattern which you are describing, but in physiological terms but in psychological terms.

My stimulation will continue to elevate in correspondence with dosing, as one would expect from the half-life. If I dose 50 mg every hour, then after 6 hours my heart rate will be above 130 or 140, but I will still begin to feel like shit an hour after each redose, even though my heart is pounding and I know I'm still stimulated. 12 hours after I lose all of my good feelings, I will still be unable to sleep if I've taken a larger or length enough sequence of doses to put myself into the 140 - 150 bpm range. After exceeding a certain point, redose no longer even makes me feel good because the discomfort of my peripheral stimulation outweighs the brief respite of the rush. Though occasionally, and this is the most frightening part of all, my heart rate paradoxically increases as the drug leaves my system and I feel compelled to redose to produce a weird feeling of "normalcy" over abject terror. The worst psychoses I've had have been when I stopped dosing after being awake for 3 - 5 days, and suddenly the normal paranoia, which can be brushed away by persistent thought, revs up into nightmarish disconnection from reality. Whether this is withdrawal phenomena, or purely psychological, I do not know.

I've stopped using stimulants for about a week but I can't stop thinking about them and I think I'm going to cave eventually. I'm sleeping for 12 hours every night and my thoughts are scattered. Should be getting some xanax today and hopefully it will take my mind off of it.
>>
Molly Mellywat - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 03:10:08 EST ID:KAiLFcPD No.278276 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>278275
Wew, dude. That's a pretty good read. The diminishing returns is definitely real for me, but the plan I come up with is to do a very small dose again right after the peak, not to get back to my peak, but so that the comedown isn't so fast and sharp and painful. It extends the entire experience by like another hour but that's okay for me because a little bit of benzo action smooths everything sufficiently for me to be mentally okay.

I really don't want to know what kind of mental hell awaits me if I ever redosed more than 3 times in one day, but I'll probably end up pulling that shit one day anyways just to see what happens.

If my stim experience just involved me falling to a content-but-tired state, I'd probably do them every day, but for me, this shit is too mentally taxing. I'm currently sitting on about 120 heart bpm, which isn't too crazy. I don't see myself ever doing enough stimulants to feel true stim withdrawal effects, but if they are anything like some of the worse comedowns I've experienced, I most definitely do not intend to ever make stimulants a habit for me outside of caffeine and moda.

>I've stopped using stimulants for about a week but I can't stop thinking about them and I think I'm going to cave eventually.
Have you tried doing a little bit of gentle stim dosing once a blue moon for now? I'm talking the occasional cup of coffee, maybe find some speed and take like 30mg of it and put 10mg in a capsule if you have one, then put that capsule inside another capsule that has another 10mg, and then put THOSE capsules into one more capsule that has another 10mg. It's a kind-of extended release amphetamine treatment where you won't feel so shit anymore but it also won't be enough to kick you into maximum redose-urge. I've done shit like that at work for when I want to be able to stay on my feet for a 10 hour shift without eating.

updated chart includes a green line which is where my mental state will instead diverge to if I do my small-bump after the peak and take the benzo then; it definitely saves me a lot of emotional stress
>>
Molly Mellywat - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 03:18:36 EST ID:KAiLFcPD No.278277 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>278276
Also, I had a seriously negative experience with weed many many years ago when I was in HS.

Weed started to make me more paranoid than lax and happy (I even started getting some audio hallucinations like I thought I'd hear doors opening when nobody was home or someone nearby talking about me when they clearly weren't) and I had to take a break for an entire year.
One year later, I tried smoking again, and I was in a bit better place in life and was more mature, and weed was okay again.
On top of this, I was no longer a pothead. I found it perfectly okay to do it only in moderation, and never cared anymore to get too high anymore.

I think keeping in mind that "if/when I ever return to stimulants after this extended break, I will likely be much more responsible since I am starting with a clean slate again and momentum is now more towards sobriety than anything" might give you a very nice motivation to keep up your cut-off of stims for now. Who knows, maybe in 6 months from now, you'll never have an interest in doing another stimulant again?
>>
Ebenezer Finnerson - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 03:49:05 EST ID:RVwUAFAq No.278278 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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This is my last blogpost of the night. The benzos took over as the dominant force o now I'm simply too tired to go on. I'm also feeling more and more downside as time goes on.
Nice chat /stim/ hope to see if anyone resonates with my OP post or not
>>
StimLioness !JM2DTgXfqU - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 06:17:59 EST ID:gYWBULiC No.278280 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Alcohol is a cure all. Minus the fact it's destroying my body, but it def rids me of the edge. Cuddled by an eternally loving partner. Fuck a benzo cheatcc.

Booze is best. Fixes everything. Magnesium, eating, water too!

Really any time I have bad feels it's me overthinking how much the legality of this shit can fuck me over. Fuck the drug war. Demonize this demoness dick motherbitchers.
>>
StimLioness !JM2DTgXfqU - Mon, 20 Mar 2017 06:22:14 EST ID:gYWBULiC No.278281 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>278277
Oh yeah set and setting applies to a lot more drugs than psythangs. You got it figured out. Generally my setting fucks me up the most. Apartments suck, houses ftw.
>>
StimLioness !JM2DTgXfqU - Wed, 22 Mar 2017 16:27:28 EST ID:T+sETJOk No.278326 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Check my post here >>278325 btw

Lifestyle and environment need to be solid first to get the most outta being a stimmer and not being a tweaker fuck up or even being able to enjoy the drug


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