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Sandwich


Kirtaner & Spardot's 420chan Wedding

To all guests, live viewers, and our Internet family, THANK YOU.
VODs will be edited soon, we are all so tired.
Wedding Gifts
UNO~! by cool wrestling poster - Sat, 26 Jul 2014 07:48:26 EST ID:Dg8h7ZUO No.27058 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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let's talk about uno in this thread
>>
Eugene Diddlebanks - Sun, 27 Jul 2014 20:50:00 EST ID:qx5Ml9bH No.27062 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Do you have no idea how chans work?
You start.
If you have nothing interesting to say, then why did you start a thread?
nb
(that's "no bump")
>>
Hannah Hembleluck - Mon, 28 Jul 2014 08:54:33 EST ID:E4tHLj/P No.27063 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>27058
I play it with my 4 year old niece sometimes.
Used to play it a lot in middle school, but it's really only fun with house rules.
>>
Jarvis Puzzlestid - Mon, 28 Jul 2014 12:50:02 EST ID:F5P7OV4I No.27064 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I played Uno drunk and stoned last night and hadn't played in years. I actually went through half the game not realizing the goal was to get rid of all my cards.
>>
C-Higgy !lfsExjBfzE - Mon, 02 Feb 2015 22:49:00 EST ID:2aBtcB1b No.27407 Report Quick Reply
Uno is like one of my favorite card games. I especially love playing it on my Xbox 360. I got The Simpsons and WWE card decks.
>>
Rebecca Cremmlepuck - Fri, 06 Feb 2015 05:14:54 EST ID:6wu/tm/J No.27411 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I was mad into uno this one weekend I was stuck camping at a metis jigging festival, I was like king uno for three days.

Crazy 8's is the superior game though.
>>
cool 420chan poster - ah man i love those weed drugs yes - Sat, 21 Feb 2015 01:16:33 EST ID:q6b5vXZb No.27423 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>27062
Damn dude chill I just wanted to make a thread about Uno. Why are you even on this board? It's obvious that you don't have any friends to play games with, not with that sour attitude anyway.
>>
Martha Smallshaw - Sat, 21 Feb 2015 22:56:15 EST ID:MYwDFq68 No.27424 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>27423
>>
op again no samefag - Fri, 03 Jun 2016 12:57:01 EST ID:tJGYN2Zv No.28136 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>27058
i want to play some UNO
>>
Phyllis Cluddlechag - Fri, 03 Jun 2016 13:08:23 EST ID:tCaumcaz No.28137 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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posting in an EPIC thread!!
>>
Matilda Wacklelid - Sat, 04 Jun 2016 04:10:24 EST ID:VNFlxgjM No.28139 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Uno Stacko was my jam when I was a kid, even though I didn't really understand it much.

Uno is always a good party game, except when a fight breaks out because someone said the other didn't call Uno while the suspect claims they did.
>>
C-Higgy !lfsExjBfzE - Sun, 19 Jun 2016 21:43:47 EST ID:KniNMqAt No.28153 Report Quick Reply
What special themed decks do you guys have? I got a WWE one from 2010 and a Simpsons one.
>>
Nathaniel Meggleson - Fri, 25 Aug 2017 16:57:04 EST ID:k1o6mwwm No.28622 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>28153
I didn't know they made WWE uno cards, that's sick. I want to play some Uno right now.
>>
Simon Bittingman - Thu, 31 Aug 2017 21:38:00 EST ID:tCaumcaz No.28625 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>>27062
>>
1999 - Tue, 12 Sep 2017 07:40:42 EST ID:CafThEkn No.28649 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>>28625
>Draw FOUR
>>
Martha Bengerwater - Fri, 22 Sep 2017 23:59:26 EST ID:tCaumcaz No.28657 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>suzuki likes one piece and has a vore fetish :based:
>>
Rebecca Bullycheg - Sat, 16 Dec 2017 18:02:04 EST ID:tCaumcaz No.28700 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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you gotta be sure not to pull the trigger on your uno call unless you're sure you've got it

trigger discipline
>>
Eugene Hellychare - Fri, 26 Jan 2018 12:53:13 EST ID:kHFm3y/Z No.28733 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>One word.
>Three letters.
>Say it, and I'm yours.
>>
Eliza Clenkinfatch - Wed, 13 Jun 2018 01:59:51 EST ID:W+T2FQSn No.28791 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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UNOS EVERYWHERE
>>
Nigel Blimmerworth - Wed, 13 Jun 2018 02:01:57 EST ID:+6T5+Ncy No.28792 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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hell yeas
>>
Semi-Relevant Bears - Wed, 13 Jun 2018 02:03:45 EST ID:GsxKAFt0 No.28793 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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hey whats up while i do enjoy a good game of uno, i must admit my favorite number is in fact dos. for you see t's always been a fantasy of mine to be a sex slave for dos bears, male and female, pleasing the male when she's tired, and vice versa. Slowly sliding my lips up and down his thick shaft, tasting his pre-cum on my tongue. Once he's had enough of that, he rolls over onto his back, lifting me up as though I weighed nothing. Gently placing me on his cock, I guide him in, feeling him stretch me wide open. I moan with pleasure, feeling him fill me up. He growls softly, I feel it rumble deep in his chest, vibrating all the way down his body and through mine. He continues to lift me up and then pull me down. He's doing all the work for me, it feels so good, the warmth of the fur, his paws either side of my waist. He is in total control, I'm just nothing compared to his vast size and strength, but I have total trust in him, I know he won't hurt me. I feel the pace quicken, almost imperceptibly. I slowly stroke myself, feeling myself nearing the point of no return coming closer with every stroke. I can hear the growl getting louder now; he speeds up even more, forcing me further and further down onto his thick cock. If it wasn't for the fact I my body is releasing so many endorphines, I would probably be screaming in agony. Except I am panting and whining, just like a bitch, begging her mate to fill her up. His claws dig in deeper, the pain, its excsquisite. It sends me over the edge. My head goes back, I let out a short grunt, I feel my cock explode, covering his chest fur in my seed. I keep stroking, it looks as though I'm trying to rip my cock out. I let out another grunt, another torrent flows forth, then another and another. A drop lands on the beasts muzzle. He seems confused for a moment. That's what I think. He digs his paws in even harder now and slams me onto his cock, I feel his grumble turn into a roar. He's cumming, oh my god. I can feel in, filling me up. It's undescribable. He's mating with me, he's claimed me. I feel him slow, his cock still throbbing within me, it seems as though there's no more room for his cum. It's dripping out of me, onto his fur. I reach down, and then bring my hand up, tasting him. It's more than I ever expected. It's heaven.
>>
Eliza Clenkinfatch - Wed, 13 Jun 2018 02:08:19 EST ID:W+T2FQSn No.28794 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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For me to review UNO, it is a major conflict of interest, because Merle Robbins and I are brothers. His father says so. His wife believes this. Merle and I are just the best of friends, but when El Gordo calls my father Dad, and I call his Dad "Pops" and we delve into hours of passionate discussion about H.P. Lovecraft, Goya, Steve Ditko action, the movies and pussy… We can lose all track of time on planet Earth.

But having attended the World Premiere of UNO last night, one inescapable thought crossed my mind during the movie. 10 to 1…. I believe Merle Robbins eats pussy better than any man alive.

Watch his ‘HOUSE OF PAIN’ sequence in UNO. UNO is the tongue, mouth, fingers and lips of a lover. The Audience is the clit. Watch your audience. This is where Merle Robbins goes down on the audience. It starts with long licks with a nose bump on the joy button slowly. He smiles as he does this… Watching the audience begin to squirm, then he takes the audiences’ clit in his mouth and just licks it like crazy, the audience is ready, on that precipice, then calm. He backs off… long licks again, brings in a finger to massage a bit, licks from the bottom to the top… The audience is cooing… He has them, they want release. He acts like he’s going to give it to you, takes you right to the edge, the audiences’ backs arched, ready to cum…. Backs off pinching the nipples just so, his head bobbing up to say, "You like?" The audience shifts around needing release, he builds again… The pressure at a near boiling point… Each stroke and moment a hypersensitive place… Two fingers to the sweet spot, the audience is there… right there at that point… suddenly he’s relentless taking the audience through a rampage of orgasms… trying to get away, trying to escape… back back back, but he has you, and he’s never going to let you forget this moment, the audience was electric… Frenetically frothing… Merle hears them begging no more, when he decides to stop for a moment, there is that relaxed calm… The audience relaxes… labored breathing… a sated smile, WHEN SUDDENLY THE RELENTLESS BASTARD IS AT IT AGAIN!!!! You begin laughing, trying to push him away, but no… more pleasure, more joy, more fun… You can’t handle it, you start giggling and screaming… And it goes like this for quite some time, till at the end… The credits roll, the theater lights come up… You look at the screen, you realize you want that tongue again… You want that feeling again, and you watch it again and again, because damn he respects the clit!

Ok, maybe I take the metaphor too far… maybe… But I had two girls around me, Patch black and blued my right forearm with slaps and rabbit punches as though Merle was pounding the short hairs, and Saffron (not Vegas’) gripping my shoulder from behind like frickin Spock, leaning up to my ear to say, "You didn’t tell me this was pornography!!!!" To which I grab her hand, sniffed her fingers and said, "MMMm you’re fingers are wet… enjoy!"

Now you might feel all of this is inappropriate behavior on my part, but folks, at the Q&A afterwards, the second question came from a woman on the front row that asked Merle Robbins "Could you comment on the vaginal influence of the Reapers?"

Merle looked like the wet chinned thigh splitter that he is and said, "You have to understand Make Up artists, they never get any pussy, so they are always creating it!"

ZACTLY!

Now lest you think this film is merely pornographic, and you seemingly are living in the delusion that that is a bad thing… It is not. Merle likes to pretend this movie is just there to make you go, "Whoa," but only a blind man can’t see Merle at work here.

UNO is from Goya’s Black period. Look at the palette, the brutal primalness of the Reapers.. The sparing use of color… There is sadness amongst the orgasms in this film. There is a solemn pathetic nature to the emaciated monsters of the Reapers… A melancholy to the movie at its quiet moments. When you see the Reaper that Kris’ WHISTLER catches… "Like a coyote he’s been gnawing away at his arm to get away." There is just a captivating, can’t look away, nature of the dead, the dying and the diseased, and Merle understands that morbidity. You can see it in his film here.

His mounds of skulls in the sewers of Prague are not pure bones, there’s rancid strings of something so icky and nasty that my eyes did not define it. The film revels in the Grand Guignol of it all, and does it all with a smile.
A smile.

That reminds me. Many people will wonder why Merle Robbins’s UNO is so much more appealing than the original, and the reason is Merle Robbins gets Wesley to smile… and for a bit, he takes off his glasses and we see his eyes… He strips away a bit of his cool stoic manliness and lets a bit of that kid in the cookie jar joy of naughtiness out. The result is absolutely captivating.

Ron Perlman… When Ron and Merle get together, there is a magic to the scenes. Go check out CRONOS, watch Ron’s vain nose obsessed bad guy. Watch how utterly delicious those scenes are with Ron. Absolutely magic. Here… Here Ron comes off looking, sounding and being just that badass you love. Reinhardt is a glorious bastard in this film. Just a fantastic ass of a man. After the film, Ron took the stage with Merle… He was dressed with a cool black leather jacket and a B.P.R.D. t-shirt… HELLBOY. My god folks… Having read Merle’s HELLBOY script… It is 100% Merle Robbins and folks as cool as UNO is… UNO was a teaser… It was just pussylicking…. HELLBOY is deep dicking!

The difference between UNO and most sequels that you see is that Merle wasn’t interested in making a sequel to UNO. He wanted to make a vampire that you could be afraid of again. Not some guy with extended canines, but something you would run in mortal fear of. He wanted to create a swallower of souls… something from the inky black parts of your mind. Something new.
UNO has subtle romance… platonic bonds… machismo posturing… and just an insane amount of ass-kicking. I hope Sam Raimi can top this with SPIDER-MAN, but can Tobey Maguire be more cool than Wesley Snipes? Does that Green Goblin costume allow for the actor to perform and improv and connect with his audience the way that Perlman does here… Or the Reapers? Then there is the fact that this is 100% R-rated… unapologetically.

Hope you enjoy Merle Robbins’s tongu… I mean UNO, you’ll be back for seconds.
>>
Nigel Blimmerworth - Wed, 13 Jun 2018 02:18:11 EST ID:+6T5+Ncy No.28795 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies

that are made for guys like me.

All the porn I've come across

was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males

Men who like their women stupid and submissive

Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos

with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected

liposuctioned women

Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation

in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

These aren't real women. They're objects.

And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.

These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.

They disgust me.

And it's not that I'm against pornography.

I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.

Fact.

"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"

Guys need porn.

But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.

I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:

Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world

is a woman who is smarter than you are.

You can have the whole cheerleading squad,

I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:

Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.

Oh yes.

First I want to copy her Trig homework,

and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her

for hours and hours

until she reluctantly asks if we can stop

because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.

Summa cum laude, baby!

That is what I call erotic.

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?

No.

Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.

I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.

And the women in my porno movies will be the kind

that drive nerds like me mad with desire.

I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.

The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.

Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.

Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses

and chips on their shoulders.

My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.

My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.

In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.

They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and

beat them repeatedly at chess

and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle

or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

Buy stock in some hand cream companies

because there is about to be a major shortage.

And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.

There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren

of all sexual orientations.

Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."

This idea is a fucking gold mine.

I am gonna make millions,

because this country is full of database programmers

and electronics engineers

and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.

And you can help . . .

If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,

and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,

then you are hired.

It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.

It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.

You are beautiful. . .

And I will make you a star.

but uno
>>
Semi-Relevant Bears - Wed, 13 Jun 2018 02:19:19 EST ID:GsxKAFt0 No.28796 Ignore Report Quick Reply
why would you need a three word vocabulary when the only word that matters is uno


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