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The "Larry Miller" "Hair System" "for Men" by Eugene Bligglefield - Thu, 10 Nov 2016 00:45:24 EST ID:Z96kHSza No.83461 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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The actor and comedian Larry Miller shows up at Carl's doorstep to try and sell him a toupee, the "Larry Miller Hair System". The toupee is made of painted and corrugated sheet metal, there's only one in existence, it's been returned at least once, and God told him to sell it to Carl so Larry can feed his "all-consuming" gambling addiction. (Carl: "Hm...so what's the catch?")

As part of the pitch, Larry uses a simulation machine in the back of his van to show Carl what his life would be like if he had hair. The simulation version of Carl is much slimmer, less slovenly and has a full head of hair, as well as a normal (if rather boring and saccharine) life with a wife, two kids and a stable job. Real-life Carl is initially confused by this ("I don't see any hookers...is it because I scared them away?"), but quickly becomes disgusted with his simulation self's healthy, polite and non-confrontational attitude, which he describes as "selling out".

Soon, Larry realizes they're close to AC Beach, he can "smell the cards", and runs off in a frenzy to go gamble, leaving Carl alone with the simulation machine. Carl thus sets about manipulating the life of the "other Carl", who can constantly hear the real Carl's voice but can't see him.

He starts demanding that his simulation self "grow a sack," which basically consists of doing all the things he would do, including staying up all night drinking beer, ordering a penis pump, sexually insulting his wife and turning a minor confrontation over the fax machine at work into physical violence.

Soon, simulation Carl is fired, and his wife leaves him and takes his kids. However, he still has one dignity, his hair, which the real Carl ensures that he gets rid of as well. Now jobless, wifeless, and hairless (just like the real Carl), the simulation version of Carl kills himself.

Later on Carl agrees to the hair system, which is attached to his skull with POP rivets like a fender from a body shop.
8 posts and 4 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
Shitting Billywidging - Wed, 16 Nov 2016 15:33:06 EST ID:nDaxfrNB No.83543 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I don't know what you're talking about this actually happened to him This is real this thread is real they're trying to make him not exist which is illegwell they ritual lyrics abuse him to make him exist for being normie im contacting the NASA to read his emails.
Nathaniel Dartford - Sun, 02 Apr 2017 21:25:27 EST ID:9lk1yeaV No.85033 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Hoy OYP!! I iz a poleish plvmber I herr to fikps yov vateeor hiter?!
Cedric Fuvinghall - Fri, 07 Apr 2017 10:06:53 EST ID:TE2CYKvd No.85082 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Et vill vurkin, et vill vurkin! Do'hnt vurrie abowt et, do'hnt vurrie abowt ennytheen!
Gayman - Sun, 25 Mar 2018 02:36:39 EST ID:d95TUxe2 No.87667 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Years of butts
Jack Huttingfere - Tue, 27 Mar 2018 10:22:28 EST ID:4gHDcs2p No.87716 Ignore Report Quick Reply

NNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLL!!! by Lord Super Kami Guru - Mon, 14 Nov 2016 01:00:11 EST ID:cljtNQ83 No.83501 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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I have a bitch of an itch on my left ass cheek. I will now release your inner potential. It wasn't that much. It's all downhill from here. Do I look Catholic to you? It's your first time so I'll be gentle. Now relax as I reach deep inside you and grab hold of your assets. I am an adult! Stop making out with your boyfriend I can hear it from here! How does it feel to be the bronze medal? Every party needs a pooper that's why the invited you. Why are you still here? Sucks about your family but know who else lost his family? Batman. It is I your other half. Writing to you from our home planet. It has been many years since I banished you from it after we split from the same being. How are you doing? I'm doing great! I've got my own servant. Do you have a servant? He's kind of a tool... for my amusement! By the way if you're looking for a good time, hit up Earth. You could probably take them over, too, their defenses probably suuuck. We'll time for my sponge bath. Keep in touch! Your evil half. So I tell him I don't care who you are clean my jowels. Did you tell him to work the shaft? We don't even have those! Oh God natural light! I'm the guy who's not judging you by your appearance. He is the strongest of our race. You have been trained in the ancient ways, I believe in you. Waste his smug ass. Fool, if I had trained him in the new way he might have stood a chance. I do not know what a Yamcha is but it sounds disappointing.
4 posts and 1 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
Frederick Goblingham - Sun, 20 Nov 2016 13:11:36 EST ID:SP0wD4Hs No.83569 Ignore Report Quick Reply
...be a reeeeeal dick move to die right now.
Phoebe Bicklehure - Wed, 30 Aug 2017 02:04:10 EST ID:0H4qYhWH No.86101 Ignore Report Quick Reply
(_)_) :::::::::::::::::~~~~THE SHADOW MASTERS ARE WATCHING YOU~~~~
Nathaniel Bemblekock - Wed, 30 Aug 2017 08:43:57 EST ID:s1X7dNj6 No.86102 Ignore Report Quick Reply

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The Watchers of THE SHADOW MASTERS are watching you~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Charlotte Shakestone - Wed, 30 Aug 2017 12:58:50 EST ID:zWraMHVL No.86105 Ignore Report Quick Reply
(_)_) =========D~~~~ 0v
Jack Huttingfere - Tue, 27 Mar 2018 10:21:13 EST ID:4gHDcs2p No.87714 Ignore Report Quick Reply

What's religion can'ts /tinfoil most the least? by Rowrowrowyourboat Gentlydownthestreamlyman - Thu, 18 Jan 2018 10:53:43 EST ID:Y63FUC9R No.87239 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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so like is tinfoil/ well, you know religion pizza?
DAYMAN !!u8aVQ2+b - Thu, 18 Jan 2018 11:13:15 EST ID:roomV3Fl No.87240 Ignore Report Quick Reply
what I most can't the least, would be do not a bad job, but always a good.
Reuben Honderlun - Thu, 18 Jan 2018 19:20:34 EST ID:ZcKMNawS No.87242 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Is /tinfoil/ religious? no. is /tinfoil/ a religion? yes.
Rawbooty Girlyman - Thu, 18 Jan 2018 19:45:24 EST ID:AIckUWlj No.87243 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Leave it to a reuben to mess up the meme 😂
Reuben Honderlun - Thu, 18 Jan 2018 20:10:13 EST ID:ZcKMNawS No.87244 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Reuben's gotta Reub!
Jack Huttingfere - Tue, 27 Mar 2018 10:14:25 EST ID:4gHDcs2p No.87713 Ignore Report Quick Reply

/tinfoil/ religious? by Clara Summerhure - Tue, 20 Sep 2016 12:27:25 EST ID:S1beg9ni No.82581 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Is /tinfoil/ religious, or is religion you know... Yeah
16 posts and 2 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
Shit Dartfield - Wed, 17 May 2017 11:01:43 EST ID:HydZcF87 No.85478 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Isabella Binningfield - Sat, 20 May 2017 17:19:04 EST ID:FHJII8lA No.85485 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Honestly if /pol really felt the way they do and put their money where their mouth is then they would convert to islam and move to an arabic country; /pol idealogy and Islamic idealogy are incredibly similar and you can see the parallels because essentially they appeal to young men without any direction in their lives, it's natural for them to blaim their own faults on outside sources. So here are the similarities:



William Bavingpetch - Sun, 28 May 2017 11:25:10 EST ID:HRdBi/VY No.85529 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>deliberate misunderstanding
Molly Dorryhat - Tue, 30 May 2017 18:47:20 EST ID:qnkPx1z7 No.85534 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Fuck /pol/ this thread is about religion not dumb dick politics

Politics r 4 nerds N domb peepoll
Jack Huttingfere - Tue, 27 Mar 2018 09:38:44 EST ID:4gHDcs2p No.87693 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Treadmill gaming? by An mildly educated gamer - Mon, 26 Mar 2018 14:04:27 EST ID:Mr4eytC+ No.87686 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Burn pounds and your scores will only go up
If the Duce is loose just grind it into the rubber
If your mouse pad is shaking just put a stabilized camera on your mountain bike and ride that

Basically half-life is still on steam sale and I want to run like free chicken

There is a line in the song
"Chicka chicka yeah!"

Someone I Know by Hedda Chigglewell - Mon, 26 Mar 2018 04:06:24 EST ID:mNQFi9ML No.87682 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Was kidnapped by Aliens in Washington back in 2015. Im pretty sure that two people close to me were abducted while they were travelling through Washington state.

I beleive this due to the distances they were traveling by car through the state. They spent a week or two in the state and traveled through the state at least three times. Being somewhat clairvoyant I sense a strong difference in their personality. The two people have developped abilities that they did not have previous to their trip.

I beleive that one of the two people has been outright replaced by an ET while the other had simply been manipulated.
Gayman - Mon, 26 Mar 2018 11:13:00 EST ID:Mr4eytC+ No.87684 Ignore Report Quick Reply
One time I passed out and woke up with an inability to process dairy, so yeah you're not special

HALO by Gayman - Mon, 26 Mar 2018 01:29:08 EST ID:Mr4eytC+ No.87681 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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more like gayLO amiright?!

When A Discord Server Has 20,000 members by Wesley Movingkudge - Sun, 25 Mar 2018 23:05:10 EST ID:4FtoFzlb No.87679 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Alt right got it all wrong? by Sophie Buzzwell - Sun, 25 Mar 2018 06:20:41 EST ID:19j1CmxZ No.87670 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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Niffty title huh? I’ve been looking into the alt right because i knew nothing about them and wanted to learn more because they are the new boogie man. And as far as i can tell there are a few major and minor issues with them.

>they never talk about eugenics.
This to me is the strongest logical argument against ethno-nationalist. Eugenics was the argument hitler made, and it was a stronger argument. They tend to focus on race only and point to lower iqs and higher crime rates in minority communities. While this is true, there is a better predictor of criminality and that is intelligence. People with lower IQs tend to comit more crimes over all. So we wouldn’t we be better over all if we just prevented stupid people from breeding by removing all socail services, and then encourage them not not breed with incentives like alowing childless people access to socail services? Also by encouraged smart fucks to breed more with incentives like a removal of income taxes for them? And couldn’t a less extreme libertarian president make such a thing a reality without violating the constitution or killing anyone?
>checkered histories.
Mike enoch apparently had a jewish wife who did racist Christmas poem on there podcast.
Weev has named the jew but in my limited research hes always criticized only zionism. I kinda feel sorry for him and think maybe the fact he got fucked so hard by the fbi for no reason kinda messed him up. But everything else i could find only hinted to mild sympathy with hitler and Germany. That i would describe as rational and well rounded veiw of history. Andrew anglin was described by classmates as a vegan who wore vegan skate shoes and had dreadlocks. As well as being friendly and nice. Some other dude whos name im forgeting right now got b& from his radio job for daring to question the race IQ question live on air. I think its important to note because every major player that i looked into has been unfairly FUUUCKED by some establishment that would make them very bitter and angry, and motivated by revenge. Opposed to a deeply sincere long held Philosophical Belief. To stright up suspicious in the case of mike enoch. The only exception I c…
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Gayman - Sun, 25 Mar 2018 14:37:01 EST ID:d95TUxe2 No.87673 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This is not /pol/
Eugene Dridgeson - Sun, 25 Mar 2018 15:53:16 EST ID:L/ue6Tjr No.87677 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This is a real conspiracy though. TRS is more contrived than the Tea Party even was. It's a cliche example of a controlled opposition group.
Lillian Worthingwater - Sun, 25 Mar 2018 19:04:42 EST ID:7Ra+eU96 No.87678 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>a real conspiracy though
yeah right, whatever dude, a copy and pasted alt right politics blog is not tinfoil, bigfoot is tinfoil
Cornelius Sullerted - Sun, 08 Apr 2018 01:46:03 EST ID:w8n5GpOi No.87789 Ignore Report Quick Reply

doctor I try to fire gets "friendly" with the electroshock pads by James Berryman - Fri, 02 Mar 2018 09:18:10 EST ID:HUBIZ2EH No.87465 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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49 posts and 3 images omitted. Click Reply to view.
Charlotte Smalllock - Fri, 23 Mar 2018 03:01:44 EST ID:KZiYN9T/ No.87653 Ignore Report Quick Reply
How long have you been doing drugs then?
Priscilla Hocklefedge - Fri, 23 Mar 2018 03:11:33 EST ID:Uo3oIfBT No.87654 Ignore Report Quick Reply
since about 16
Gayman - Fri, 23 Mar 2018 03:55:04 EST ID:hCfoVY4O No.87655 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Drugs turn people gay
Esther Cebberchudging - Fri, 23 Mar 2018 07:31:14 EST ID:Uztl3ZZH No.87657 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Oh, so you just talk like a fag
Lillian Beshchad - Sun, 25 Mar 2018 07:44:20 EST ID:Uo3oIfBT No.87672 Ignore Report Quick Reply
agreed haha
well thats because i am a little bit of a fag dude ;)

I found it! by Lydia Faddlegold - Sat, 29 Apr 2017 12:00:52 EST ID:68jOSivt No.85296 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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The rare and elusive double mermaid!!!
The Boat - Mon, 08 May 2017 13:51:29 EST ID:SMeXbXwf No.85346 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I caught one of those in 44, the damn thing was wearing a NAZI uniform so we put em on postumus trail and hung em before D-Day
Gayman - Sun, 25 Mar 2018 02:45:01 EST ID:d95TUxe2 No.87669 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I took a dump on the floor of a shithouse once and used my shoe to jam it down the floor grate.

EXTREME POLITICAL MOVEMENTS by Nell Clinnerham - Fri, 23 Mar 2018 12:39:56 EST ID:mRS1D+NM No.87658 Ignore Report Reply Quick Reply
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are Cults.

Everyone knows that tho right?
Gayman - Fri, 23 Mar 2018 14:25:08 EST ID:hCfoVY4O No.87659 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This is not /pol/ go to /b/ with that plebeian nonsense
Archie Docklebure - Sat, 24 Mar 2018 10:05:58 EST ID:JLRt5AC6 No.87663 Ignore Report Quick Reply
words don't mean anything anymore i guess so sure, [bad thing] is *actually* [other bad thing] if it fits in a tweet, you fucking moron
George Hisslesine - Sun, 25 Mar 2018 06:37:15 EST ID:w8n5GpOi No.87671 Ignore Report Quick Reply

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