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STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM! by Anton Dongway - Thu, 20 Apr 2017 16:14:11 EST ID:3ooWizLP No.4884375 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Anyone here get caught / almost caught with weed? Tell us your story!
Cornelius Blirryhall - Thu, 20 Apr 2017 16:27:35 EST ID:mfYWTZvu No.4884379 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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> be 17 year old me
> friend saysaid he and other are going to a show
>its in town
>small venue
> get a ticket
> it's Snoop Dogg
> show supposed to start
> hour and a half later everybody starts blazing
> cops outside start coming in
> I get handed a huge joint and take a long ass drag
> feel hand clasp shoulder
> see big rookie cop known to be a hard ass
>oh fuck
> says "I definitely saw smoke come from your mouth, so you come with me"
> a random guy I haven't seen in years runs up
>blows big puff right in his face
>takes hand off my shoulder
>I shed my jacket, and trade shirts with a home boy
> start grinding with chick, cops leave with a few people
>concert happens
>everybody smoked again
Charles Shakeway - Thu, 20 Apr 2017 16:31:42 EST ID:CHTBiHTc No.4884380 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Matthew Flaherty - Thu, 20 Apr 2017 16:35:04 EST ID:Q5kEtM78 No.4884381 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Be 18 or 19
>Regularly explore city with a friend from my town
>We usually end up high either by edibles or smoke
>Hanging outside his house late at night
>We can't see shit, we're smoking from a pipe
>Cop car was stalking us
>Lights up its lights when it's less than 10 m away
>Block ends in a semicircle and a huge wall, no escape
>Friend starts to freak out, I somehow keep my cool
>Ask him to give me the pipe
>Drop it in a small canal between the grass and the sidewalk, just where we're sitting
>Do it stealthily with the hand they can't see
>Usual routine, check our id's, asks us shit, pat us down
>We're free to go
>They leave
>Pick up the pipe from the canal, keep smoking
Matilda Blonnerbury - Thu, 20 Apr 2017 17:40:42 EST ID:fJQl6KbU No.4884400 Ignore Report Quick Reply
There's a town called Wyoming in Minnesota? Doesn't that get confusing?
Cedric Pugglebuck - Thu, 20 Apr 2017 18:23:56 EST ID:7brFSclg No.4884413 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>night time
>spend about an hour hot boxing in my car
>all done, drive off with windows closed
>soaring like a mf
>[cop lights intensify]
>calmly, but very quickly open all windows slightly
>pull over
>had a busted tail light (i actually knew this and this was the 2nd time i was pulled over for it)
>gave the most stone cold sober poker face that i could
>complied with every request
>saw my spotless record
>sent on my way

in summation: check your tail lights.
Sidney Sapperham - Thu, 20 Apr 2017 18:53:50 EST ID:0yyDFfqF No.4884417 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>be visiting parents and brother
>staying in guest room, friend gave me some of his weed, so decide to smoke
>late at night, try smoking out of bowl, while trying to blow it out the window
>didn't realize the smoke was being blown back in
>unknowingly hotbox guest room
>open door to go brush teeth
>brother is in bathroom
>"stop smoking weed asshole"
>screams at me about how drugs are bad (he was 10)
>slams door
>mom comes upstairs and asks why door was slammed
>say I smoked weed and upset brother
>oh, thats illegal you know
>say sorry
>just be careful

Was a weird weekend.
Nomdrop Bubbleflopn - Fri, 21 Apr 2017 00:13:18 EST ID:tCV04WsZ No.4884463 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Smoking hash like six years ago with gf at the time
>We're in my car in a lot over looking a lake, mood is right
>We start making out and she takes her top off
>Knock on window
>It's the fucking cops
>The most awkward conversation ever insues​
>Cops say the smell weed and go converse amongst each other
>Weed was decriminalized in my state like yesterday and they don't really know what to do
>They just let us go. No dui, not even a fine
I think they just felt bad about cock blocking me.
James Crankinwire - Fri, 21 Apr 2017 01:31:24 EST ID:SH8T4lFJ No.4884472 Ignore Report Quick Reply
> Get high at friend's place
> Need to drive home
> Am fine driving high, but roads are icy as fuck
> Going downhill at 5 mph, hit breaks
> 10 mph
> 15 mph
> Still holding breaks
> Realize that I'm going to slide downhill into a busy intersection if I don't do something
> Ram the curb hard so I don't drive into traffic
> It worked, start driving the rest of the way home
> *flap flap flap*
> Shit, flat
> Put car on jack, see the red-and-blues
> Panic a little, but realize I have a good explanation, so I'll be alright
> Cops insist on changing my tire for me
> They hand me my jack, and say "Get home safe, don't smoke weed and drive anymore, okay?"
> They drive away, leaving me flabbergasted

I got my tire changed by the only two cool cops in the city.
Geraldine Mcgurk - Fri, 21 Apr 2017 08:40:45 EST ID:HY24AMiz No.4884497 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>see friend off in Ashton
>smoke a joints with friend at his door
>decide I want more drugs call up delear to meet in Stockport
>long 1 hour bus journey
>on 330 in its December so it's dark as fuck at only 4 pm
>Windows have condense sation so I can't see outside
>realise that oh shit has stopped after 5 mins while is till listen to music

>reek of weed and buss is compact
>hear people talk around hear reference drugs and they may of heard me near bus sation to del-ear on phone they misanterpreted my request for silver and e pills as a request for ket
>fuggin police man come ups to the second floor I'm on
>this is not ok goyim
>also have a cider can I'm drinking start swigging fucker as I know I'm going to jail
>stays another 10 minutes down stairs
>he gets off bus starts
>eventually ask obese bank looking guy set next to mine he's drinking same cider but his in plastic receptacle
>refer to him as fellow somersby drinker and ask what police man was looking for he says he doesn't know
>roastie revenge cuople laughs I get pretty perturbed and paronoid and also laugh
>shit this is scary
>at one point tap with hand and roastie normie boy laughs at me
>one hour bus ride over the bus driver offers to take me to hospital I decline
>several more paronoid bus rides later got gear and got home
>have been paronoid of public transport and cctv ever since
Mab Splattershit - Fri, 21 Apr 2017 10:51:54 EST ID:pmPTURgv No.4884504 Ignore Report Quick Reply
What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you retarded or new to English?
Nell Seckledock - Fri, 21 Apr 2017 11:00:50 EST ID:3h8WB15V No.4884508 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>bus driver offers to take me to hospital
shit you must've been fucked up.
Barnaby Dannerson - Fri, 21 Apr 2017 12:03:14 EST ID:RnbK+wQu No.4884513 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Cop parked behind me as I was hot-boxing before work. Haha.

Ran the A/C for a second to disperse the smoke cloud I just inhaled.

Got out of car as calmly as possible, put on name-tag, and power-walked into the building.

This has happened more than once.
Outdo Drobro - Sat, 06 May 2017 12:54:01 EST ID:OFgxliSf No.4885830 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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> be 23
> wake up on saturday with first day at new job and new semester starting monday
> whole family is over pickling various vegetables
> see this is happening and immediately nope the fuck out to smoke a bowl
> park in usual spot (FIRST FUCK UP is having a usual spot)
> it's off the side of the road near a creek
> open container containing bud and pipe
> immediately see sheriff crossing bridge
> fuck fuck fuck stuff gear behind seat but the pipe was so dank
> immediately start opening windows but it's too dank
> cop walks up and says i smell marijuana
> game over
Ian Bunkindock - Sat, 06 May 2017 15:02:08 EST ID:UlldWt17 No.4885840 Ignore Report Quick Reply
The first time I got caught I got let go (in fact I've never been arrested for weed). There was a neighborhood that was being built and there was a cul de sac that was empty. Other kids in high school and mine would go there to park their cars and smoke weed. One night my friend and I went there to smoke. We were using a bong made of plastic bottle and sprocket and got pretty high. After we left the road was blocked by two police cars.

So obviously we got pulled over. And the cop takes our bong and weed, and calls my friends parent. He starts telling me that he could of impounded my parents truck. I call my mom who I had just dropped off to work a night shift and he was telling her stuff like, "oh did you know he smoked? well I hope you know he smokes out." Then when he was telling my friends grandma who came to pick him up. It was funny because he was going on about how the bong was made saying stuff like, "oh yeah the pen is inversely in the bottle" and getting all technical.

Obviously after that we never smoked there ever again. Doesn't surprise me they did something, there were probably hundreds of kids who knew about that spot. And that neighborhood is in the same county as a big city so those were real cops not country ones. That's probably why they were so aggressive catching smokers.
Dudewhoate5+gramsofazurescens - Sun, 07 May 2017 11:32:29 EST ID:uvf4ZHCx No.4885900 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>yeah officer I smell marijuanas too isn't that the most peculiar thing?
>drives off
Gnarly McGoblin - Sun, 07 May 2017 13:16:21 EST ID:3iszvvOH No.4885912 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I had much bad luck.
>Buy 3,8 g weed
>Walk home
>Suddenly hear a 11 ton TNT equivalent bang noise
>Police what's to see if I've got firecrackers in my pockets at traffic light
>Give them my weed
>Smoke a joint nevertheless
Gnarly McGoblin - Sun, 07 May 2017 13:17:36 EST ID:3iszvvOH No.4885913 Ignore Report Quick Reply
*wants nb
Violet Stoolbutter - Sun, 07 May 2017 13:44:20 EST ID:UlldWt17 No.4885920 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Thats so messed up im sorry
Moleman Manyblunts - Sun, 07 May 2017 20:29:39 EST ID:+7QrXs6C No.4885947 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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I only have two:

> Dumb as fuck senior year of high school with a car
> Drive to our usual park to smoke, find a bunch of cop cars in the parking lot
> Drive through the parking lot and out, onto some side streets
> As we are thinking of what park to go to, my buddy notices the cop car trailing us
> We (dumb as fuck) drive through more side streets and eventually make our way to a mcdonalds to grab a bite and get him to stop following us
> He turns his lights on, stops us, and says we were acting very suspicious.
> "Got any drugs on you?"
> "haha not tonight officer" We have a loaded MFLB in the armrest
> He gets all serious but we talk him down, say I was joking
> He drives off and we vape up in the drivethru

The other time:

> Dumb as fuck during freshman year of college
> Some girls want to smoke so I go outside with a bowl and a small film canister filled with just enough weed for one bowl
> Smoke in the woods right outside the dorms. Like people could see us if they looked out their windows.
> As we finish cops ambush us and say they saw multiple flashes of a lighter
> I act all nice and say we were smoking cigs
> Obviously not buying it, they need to search us
> Turns up the container (with no more weed in it) and the pipe.
> They take the pipe and the officer says although paraphernalia can be a ticket, we were cooperative she wouldn't give us one.

I'm so glad to have a house and not have to worry about this stuff nowadays.
Simon Cheshire - Mon, 08 May 2017 17:51:04 EST ID:/FDa4ABe No.4886014 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Caught 3 times and got 45 days in County every time. DWI for driving after smoking bowl between 4 of us. Caught with gram of weed not even in bag sitting on back seat that friend left. Forgot had roach in my shoe and got 45 fucking days! Its crazy now in Harris County basically Houston 4oz is decriminalized.
Simon Cheshire - Mon, 08 May 2017 17:51:04 EST ID:/FDa4ABe No.4886015 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Caught 3 times and got 45 days in County every time. DWI for driving after smoking bowl between 4 of us. Caught with gram of weed not even in bag sitting on back seat that friend left. Forgot had roach in my shoe and got 45 fucking days! Its crazy now in Harris County basically Houston 4oz is decriminalized.
Simon Cheshire - Mon, 08 May 2017 17:53:18 EST ID:/FDa4ABe No.4886017 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yep its why I got 11 convictions yet the kids worse than me would hang out at home and mom would buy them all a giant bottle of vodka and have fun and smoke and do drugs at home. While I was always forced to be out there and eventually you come across cops.
Hannah Cleffingfod - Tue, 09 May 2017 09:54:41 EST ID:2sJJpKK5 No.4886087 Ignore Report Quick Reply

This is why drug laws are fucking retarded. All this chasing and action-movie shit just because you had some dried up plant on you.
Thorsday Cuntmuff - Tue, 09 May 2017 22:00:51 EST ID:hdNokso3 No.4886138 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>decide to bring weed into house
>dad smells it and takes it

>few months later
>decide to bring weed into house
>dad smells it and takes it

>few months later
>bring weed home from college
>have it in a lock box, no one smells it
>smoke it late at night, no one finds me
>hell yeah

>few months later
>smoke on easter in honor of jesus
>forget to open the window
>dad smells it and come to take my weed
>surprises me and makes me drop my bong
>bong breaks
>dad takes my weed

I never learn

He took about a quarter ounce that time too, at least he's gonna give it back in half a year when im 21 since its legal now
Edwin Buzzlechure - Wed, 10 May 2017 14:01:13 EST ID:hvEtqf9D No.4886188 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This sounds kinda fun in that reckless teenager way. Hiding behind cars and acting like Sam Fisher and shit lol. I admit I have some fondness for the times when I was still living with my parents and had to be all stealthy and come up with good strategies to light up, it made it a challenge.

Here's my close call:
>be 21
>meet up with some friends from another town, go to a rave and take MDMA
>once I'm rolling I start chatting up this girl
>turns out its her first rave and she's taking both MDMA and LSD for the first time together
>we hang out on and off the rest of the night and then her and her roommates invite people back to their apartment for the after-party
>my friends and I head over there
>a few minutes after we get there my friend says he's gonna go smoke in his car so he won't have to deal with everybody asking for a hit
>asks us (the girl and I) if we want to join and of course we say yes
>end up smoking like 3 bowls in his parked car, just talking about random shit
>what we didn't notice is that these asshole neighbors of the girl we watching us from their porch and called the cops
>I'm just about to take another hit when I see headlights in the rear view mirror
>instantly I know we're fucked
>cop strolls up to my friend in the driver seat, takes a big whiff and says "This ain't Colorado, everybody out of the car"
>gets all of our IDs and starts searching the car
>now at this point everyone from the party and other apartments are out on the walkway watching this shit go down
>then I remember that we still have some MDMA leftover in the trunk which is an automatic felony
>friend also has to mention to the cop that there's a gun under the seat before the cop finds it himself
>and as icing on the cake, the girl decides to admit to me that she's only 17
>the cops thoroughly search the front seat and find two pipes and some weed which they confiscate
>cop asks my friend if that's all the weed and my friend says yes
>then the cop continues to look and finds another pipe which my friend swears he had forgotten was there (afterward he said he really did forget he had an extra one stashed)
>finally after a little more searching and my friend swearing up and down that's all there is, the cops go back to their car and call him and the girl over one by one
>so at this point I'm thinking we're totally fucked and that I'm seriously on the verge of having my life ruined
>all of the sudden the girl comes back with our IDs and says we're free to go
>apparently my friend gave the cops the classic sob story about being in the military (which was true) and they decided to just give him a ticket and let me and her totally off the hook
>at this point it's been like 2 fucking hours since they first rolled up but they finally get back in their car and drive off
>other friends and people from the party applaud just as the first light of the day crests the horizon

Seriously though, be careful where you hot box dudes. You never know when random people are gonna be assholes just for the sake of it
Eliza Seckleseck - Wed, 10 May 2017 14:05:35 EST ID:UtLYwVGD No.4886189 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Jebediah Cuntpickle - Wed, 10 May 2017 16:15:13 EST ID:hlR6v73w No.4886203 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>takes a big whiff and says everybody out of the car
>starts searching the car

You literally could have stopped the whole thing right here, you let the cop establish probably cause and begin searching with no challenge whatsoever.
Jebediah Cuntpickle - Wed, 10 May 2017 16:15:55 EST ID:hlR6v73w No.4886204 Ignore Report Quick Reply

but yeah, should've denied any smell and refused to let him search without a warrant
Anton Dongway - Wed, 10 May 2017 19:36:56 EST ID:B1a2F7QN No.4886213 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>"This ain't Colorado, everybody out of the car"
We got a tough guy here
Cornelius Nanderhood - Wed, 10 May 2017 20:01:21 EST ID:g6ZE4xbA No.4886217 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Smell from a vehicle is still valid as probable cause to conduct a search in many states. This was in Texas, which is one of such states.
Jenny Fammlefield - Wed, 10 May 2017 20:04:16 EST ID:wyhPV4AB No.4886218 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Same in Ohio if the cop wasn't bullshitting me.
Ol - Thu, 11 May 2017 20:48:44 EST ID:x4w85HHy No.4886301 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>at mates house
>he has so many chronic diseases i couldn't count them on a fucking abacus
>he cant leave house to pick up
>decide to start shotting for him
>pick up a 40's and head back to his
>he gives me like half just for picking up for him :)
>roll around 5 rizzlers
>go out and bun

heres where it gets interesting

>hear car pull in
>its his mum and her bf
>o shit
>try sneaking through the house
>walk into her by mistake
>"o hai"(practically shitting myself, she has known me since i was like 5)
>"oh hey anon, thats one nice smell"
>commence panic
>she hugs me and thanks me for shotting for him
>she says its illegal and can get me in trouble but its the only thing that allows him to function without daily meds
(around 20 pills a day on repeat tramadol)
>wait wut

it was the weirdest fucking experience of my life. being thanked for getting someone high is just insane.
Detective Gumshoe - Thu, 11 May 2017 23:51:25 EST ID:wbkSKZwb No.4886315 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>be ausfag
>aus cops are probably the most OP in the world
>can search you/car/house if they have "reasonable cause to believe that you are committing an offense or will in the near future"
>basically means cops can search you at any time

>literally everytime a cop drives past after hotboxing

good stories
Hamilton Dittingpudge - Fri, 12 May 2017 02:02:47 EST ID:u5VxPXE5 No.4886322 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>be 16-17 in charter high school
>its tradition for the smoker and stoner students to chill out at the plaza across from the school before it starts, next to a carls jr
>pass pipe around, have a cigarette, etc
>sitting at the edge chilling with a cig and a few cop cars start to pull up
>they start questioning one of them, me and a few other dudes try to casually just walk into the Carls Jr
>spend the rest of the time chowing on a cheap chicken sandwich
>leave C Jr, the cops cleared out by then, go to school like nothing happened
>told by other students the cops came cause we were crowding up the side of the store and they didnt want us loitering
did they just not give a shit about the weed? it was fairly obvious.
Keegan Friedman - Fri, 12 May 2017 21:02:23 EST ID:yd2rxr1b No.4886415 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Probably just didn't want the hassle of having to track down people's parents and shit, especially when stuff like that happens all the time
Ian Clillerdale - Fri, 12 May 2017 21:48:21 EST ID:UlldWt17 No.4886419 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>forget to open window

Lorna Mushcunt - Sat, 13 May 2017 02:51:55 EST ID:qYP5oMjH No.4886427 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Be 16
>Smoking by a creek
>Forget we're in the suburbs
>Some white thot ass bitch calls the cops smh snitch
>I start getting a bad feeling
>continue smoking
>12 pulls up iced out in a dodge charger
>Scream fuck and book it
>I'm chopped
>Cop is 3 feet behind me screaming "DON'T YOU FUCKING MOVE"
>We all get busted
>$1000 for possession and paraphernalia
>take me to a room with a really comfortable couch
>Like it's really easy to tell they're manipulating the fuck out of me
>Like this couch was comfy as fuck bro
>"who gave you the weed"
>lie harder
>lie really hard and a lot
>I could have stayed silent but I was chopped and didn't feel like having my mom beat my ass because the cop would tell her I was "uncooperative"
>yeah i just told him my dealer's name is Craig
>Told them a random street corner and said that's where he lives

>the cop calls my mom and tells her I had a "very small amount" and i was "very cooperative"

Balls McGee - Sat, 13 May 2017 12:18:27 EST ID:9XHEJS8x No.4886447 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Are you still 16?
Bigblunts Bongingford - Sat, 13 May 2017 13:37:42 EST ID:hlR6v73w No.4886453 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Fucking revolting, leave this website at once, you tiny-brained shitskin child
Martha Grimwater - Sat, 13 May 2017 15:22:40 EST ID:KtXMn/PV No.4886462 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Seconding this

All he's missing is a bunch of crying emojis after every sentence
Vannah Nevertoke - Sun, 14 May 2017 10:13:50 EST ID:fRzT6VDC No.4886521 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I never caught with weed but one timed I waved at a cop like the cock 16 year old twat I was and he reared around and just as cockily asked if I had anything, and broke my $40 bowl. I wasn't even mad I just felt like a dick

then I took the weed out my ballsack and smoked that out of tinfoil later.
Angus Fonningville - Tue, 16 May 2017 10:03:35 EST ID:Qc4rgDPL No.4886725 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>be 20-something year old me
>live in shared flat in Germany, in a state that's not too hard on weed
>flatmate is qt3.14 hippie dealer for small amounts

>brother, one year younger, still lives with parents
>mother is Eastern-European cleaning lady
>brother has 200-something Euro temp job (up to 450 Euro) while "studying"
>mother gets less welfare because of it
>he doesn't help in the household or even cleans his room, gets meals cooked for him every day, etc.
>he's overall a pain in the ass for my mother
>mother wants him to get his own flat
>brother is not interested
>mother gets the idea that he should temporarily live with me
>be skeptical but hey everything to make mother's life easier
>brother gets some of his stuff into my flat
>goes to the city's office to register his new address
>doesn't bother actually staying here
>stays at my parents place instead

>a sunday evening (more like monday morning) some months later
>flatmate bought 30 grams of weed
>federal state laws allows you to get away with 10 grams without penalty when caught
>be way too stoned
>whole flat is filled with the smell
>suddenly the Police appears at my doorstep
>they're looking for my brothers passport
>brother is at the police station because he was caught with a fake passport
>turns out my brother is a massive Jugobetrugo (German slang for an immigrant from former Yugoslavia committing fraud)
>realize they're here because that little cunt of my brother is still registered at my address
>passport must be at my parents place
>call mother on the phone in front of police
>police officers are smiling the whole time
>in the end they wish me a nice evening and tell me not to smoke too much
>everything went better than expected
Edward Stickletoes - Tue, 16 May 2017 11:42:27 EST ID:8zkt5Y/U No.4886729 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>leave this website at once, you tiny-brained shitskin child
fucking seriously? smoke moar or kill yourself, pick one.
Kirtaner Aster - Tue, 16 May 2017 13:48:53 EST ID:hlR6v73w No.4886737 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>bitching about nothing like an assmad crybaby 3 days after I posted

so sad
Reginald Bluntstein - Tue, 16 May 2017 14:28:29 EST ID:zKOhs/fy No.4886740 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Bullen geben keinen Fick, dass die ganze Wohnung nach Gras riecht
Vielleicht liegt es einfach an deinem Bundesland, aber hier bei mir in Bayern hätte dich die Polizei direkt in den Kerker bei Brot und Wasser geworfen.
Ich hasse Bayern.
Jeffery Huffingcock - Tue, 16 May 2017 21:23:51 EST ID:SOAEdt6z No.4886760 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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friendly reminder that nobody would care if you died nb
Albert Brudgebury - Wed, 17 May 2017 01:28:10 EST ID:u0oK6krt No.4886778 Ignore Report Quick Reply
No you little cunt, he admits he just fucking snitched on his dealer, still sounds like he's 16 fuck that cunt
Newton Hashingtong - Wed, 17 May 2017 09:45:23 EST ID:MwkABhMZ No.4886788 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Technically he didn't it looks like he gave a false name and street to cover his n dealers ass.

Lotta people do same some just say some guy in da park.

Me personally I say nothing at all.

Kids a dumbass tho for caring if crackers told his mom he was cooperative or not I mean who gives a fuck.
Isabella Munkinstick - Wed, 17 May 2017 23:55:07 EST ID:UlldWt17 No.4886818 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I live by the criminal code of silence
Phor Twentee - Thu, 18 May 2017 08:14:19 EST ID:FlbzHEAF No.4886829 Ignore Report Quick Reply
My friends used to say that they got it from a black guy at the train station (well know for being an open air market) and the look on the cops face was always the same :'D
Finnegan Fluffmire - Thu, 18 May 2017 09:52:43 EST ID:XdplLdve No.4886835 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>i repost twitter screencaps on imageboards

hahaha, but that one is totally hilarious - just kidding, grandma
Cyril Gandledatch - Thu, 18 May 2017 12:38:56 EST ID:Gdc4haKu No.4886836 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yes. Every day I wake up unsure of what state I live in, every night the USPS marks my mail for delivery in Wyoming.

I can't apply for any credit cards or services which do not support online bill pay because someone in Wyoming steals my identity every single time.

i have never had to perform jury duty, however
Henry Cingerbury - Thu, 18 May 2017 20:51:25 EST ID:SC6joH/x No.4886862 Ignore Report Quick Reply

They make time for this while fathers and mothers live in a cell block
Creaton Jiveturkey - Fri, 19 May 2017 00:05:14 EST ID:4j8JWHHP No.4886871 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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you must be from the GTA
Wesley Greendale - Fri, 19 May 2017 15:08:04 EST ID:sMY+VAsg No.4886917 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yes, Free all criminals because they had a kid once.
Miles Edgeworth - Fri, 19 May 2017 18:55:47 EST ID:d36FEIUQ No.4886926 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You realize that doesn't actually exist outside of the mafia and Hollywood motion pics right?
Amanda Swizzlestick - Sat, 20 May 2017 15:54:12 EST ID:ug6ZGt7f No.4886987 Ignore Report Quick Reply
One time i was driv8bg to make a sale. Some kid wanted 2 ounces. Cops stop me and before the search my car i rell them i have 2 ounces. They take it amd dip. Luv in myc
Doyle Mustachio - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 19:52:01 EST ID:liXqbvxv No.4887972 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Sitting in the underground parking lot, beneath the student dorms in my car
Patrol cop comes walking by
Lower the music a bit
Weed is stuffed into a cigarette
Stop puffing
Keeps walking

>so fucking lucky, I almost never use cigarettes like this
>would have had to withdraw and lose my housing
>cant tell if he was just nice
George Murdfoot - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 23:32:56 EST ID:A4FGRvWl No.4887984 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Be 15
>bought some really smelly weed
>put it in my room
>mom smells it
>she opens the windows in my room and when I get home she has a talk with me
>she tells me that the weed i bought was really dank and that she had to open some of the windows in my room.
>does nothing else
>I put it in a better box so that it doesn't smell as strongly.
Jemima Feltsborough - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 23:45:00 EST ID:XdplLdve No.4887987 Ignore Report Quick Reply
not since the 1980s
come this july it will be 30 years since my last bust of you can believe that
Polly Commlefirk - Sat, 03 Jun 2017 01:17:34 EST ID:rK1EYl1O No.4887994 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Dang Aunt Jemima, you's old!
Graham Blythewill - Sat, 03 Jun 2017 09:53:40 EST ID:brxBnnNV No.4888013 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>smoking weed like usual at friends house on weekend
>2 bongs and a pizza along with a bag o' weed on the table
>smoke everywhere
>suddenly get a text from girlfriend who was outside
>ti says "Uhhh... there's a bunch of cop cars right in front of his house."
>I think she's bullshitting for lulz
>No, there's actual fucking cop cars outside
>like 3 of them
>Everyone fucking panics
>bongs go in a random drawer
>my friend stuffs the bag of weed inside a piano
>we all casually move near the back door and out onto the patio
>Everyone is pale as fuck, breathing heavy but trying to act cool. Stoned as shit.
>half of us are laughing that this is actually happening

half hour later
>turns out his moms brakeline broke and she slammed into a gas station
>her first response was to try and drive straight home, followed by cops
>why the fuck would she do that
>we were fine, the cops didn't even know we were there
Matilda Billerhick - Sat, 03 Jun 2017 10:19:37 EST ID:XD9Km9ve No.4888016 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Epic story bro
Sho Minamimoto - Sat, 03 Jun 2017 18:21:07 EST ID:L2Wp6ZHO No.4888035 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>be melanated individual with crew in Houston ghetto
>new white boi cop, probably autistic, comes towards us
>the whole crew pulls out glocks (not pointing them at the cop, just casually having them out)
>we all give him that "watchu want cracker" look
>cop nope.jpgs the fuck out
Archie Fiblingkat - Sat, 03 Jun 2017 19:10:59 EST ID:UlldWt17 No.4888043 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Yea right he would of shot you
Hamilton Blullershaw - Sat, 03 Jun 2017 19:29:39 EST ID:P6zYf6Av No.4888044 Ignore Report Quick Reply
If you were a cop, would you initiate a gun battle where you're heavily outnumbered and therefore you will most definitely be killed? Of course not, and cops aren't trained to do that either, he would have retreated and called for backup, which he probably did but by then the lowlife pieces of shit probably move on. That being said, he's probably still full of shit
Teddy Von Shackleford - Sat, 03 Jun 2017 19:30:01 EST ID:vIX7QUUj No.4888045 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Archie Fiblingkat - Sat, 03 Jun 2017 19:52:30 EST ID:UlldWt17 No.4888046 Ignore Report Quick Reply
cops love shooting at people you're naive
Sunny Rapekit - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 08:15:42 EST ID:OVMcN/Ki No.4888083 Ignore Report Quick Reply
They're not too big on being shot though, I hear.
Fucking Billinghood - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 19:48:48 EST ID:bvhSTCq8 No.4888121 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Everytime someone says
>Lol chill out bro stop being so paranoid

Fucking retards I swear to God. Every bust I have witnessed has been prefaced by someone saying this.
Jesus Farthingstock - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 04:44:38 EST ID:DgGhV3RX No.4888151 Ignore Report Quick Reply
My girlfriend and I got grabbed hot boxing and ate two grams of weed + a blunt. They flashed us with the spotlight and then pulled us out and searched the car. All that was left was flakes. The guy let us go and basically said just smoke at home. Bring attractive women with big boobs when you smoke for safety.
Assinghat Craplock - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 04:50:13 EST ID:kQDxwBua No.4888152 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Y'know, or just smoke at home lmao
JoseJackson - Mon, 05 Jun 2017 11:45:11 EST ID:UlldWt17 No.4888165 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Seriously...after high school there is no reason for you to be riding around smoking blunts.
Isabella Fimmleson - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 18:55:02 EST ID:2r5LkWX6 No.4888268 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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> behind my parents house is about 100 acres of forest
> my entire childhood was fucking around in that woods
> no idea who owned it, never asked, didn't care
> built a kick ass fort out there out of pallets and downed logs
> did paintball and airsoft as well
> as a teen the tree fort became the stoner shack
> invest in being a Airsoft sniper, guilli suit, and a sweet L96A1
> do airsoft matches with other stoner bro, camp out, drink beer and party bonfires, shit was awesome
> out fucking around by the shack in ghilli suit and airsoft L96
> sighting in mostly getting a feel for a new scope
> light my bowl I brought with me out of my favorite clear glass spoon
> rip the entire thing after a few hits
> good and toasty
> put the pipe on a stump within arms reach of me
> just get into possistion and get comfy and covered
> hear talking, then radio chatter, then twigs snapping and breaking
> stay perfectly still
> im on the edge of alittle valley in between two ridges
a little ridge
> see the unmistakable brown uniform of the Wisconsin DNR
> really hunker down and cover my rifle up
> hear another one comming very close
> hear "Yep I smell weed somewhere around here!"
> I'm fucked ...im fucked,,, I'm fucked... I'm so fucked!
> DNR partner walked so close I can read who the maker of his boot were(they were Danners btw)
> DNR picked up my pipe off the stump "Yep, very fresh." he yells over "Looks like we just missed him, must have jumped him, left his pipe!"
> other DNR pokes around the fort, poke around the immediate area of about 50 yards
> this takes them about an hour
> both stop at a tree before leaving
> they leave behind a trail cam that overlooks my shack
> the camara angle is so perfect yet so well hidden you would never see it unless you set it and it showed who entered the shack if you crossed the motion sensor
> DNR officers finnaly fuck off giving me the chance to break for it and back home
> I shed a tear for my fallen comrad whom i could not save, my Pipe...
> before leaving i contemplate if i should fuck with the camara or not
> nah best not push my luck, I totally could have Rambo'ed that one Game Warden and got off scott free without them knowing what i look like
> shack closes that summer

Ironically that was also the same summer i contracted Lyme's disease not long after my quite literal "brush with the law". I suppose it's what I deserved for laying hiding from the law in Tick infested woods.
Lydia Honeyfield - Tue, 06 Jun 2017 21:06:57 EST ID:plni7Alt No.4888283 Ignore Report Quick Reply
> out of town for work and only had one contact for bud. Went to meet him on his lunch break,

> immediately after buying local Chief of Police rolls by us both (kinda stands out as I'm in a suit and he's in kitchen gear)

>he goes inside, I walk away, cop slowly follows

>Stop and yells at me to come over

>"Hey Anon, I got a call some natives were getting drunk and throwing bottles at each other, they went off running have you seen them?"

>Blonde, blue eyed, ubermensch "yeah they went that way" *points randomly

Another time
>Pick up a pound and had a large amount of cash on me

>Don't want to risk driving as heavy po po presence in the area

>Start walking to my home, run into a buddy who starts to pull out his new bong to show me

>Cops start to roll around corner

>Grab his bong and ninja it into a ditch

>Cops rolls down window and rolls by without speaking

>give friend free weed and replace bong
Diamond O'Queef - Fri, 09 Jun 2017 02:52:46 EST ID:HF1go8I/ No.4888454 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Walking down the street smoking a joint.
>Cop rolls up on me and asks what I'm smoking.
>Fucking weed, man.
>Cop tells me to throw it on the ground and stomp it.
>After watching me do so he tells me to have a good night and drives off.
William Sasslemodge - Fri, 09 Jun 2017 15:32:19 EST ID:FHsVjFEI No.4888483 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I've been seen smoking by cops but I just put it out and leave and they never do anything to me.
Archibald Limpdicking - Sat, 10 Jun 2017 13:31:29 EST ID:+7QrXs6C No.4888519 Ignore Report Quick Reply
On wisconsin!
Shitting Blythecocke - Sat, 10 Jun 2017 15:27:45 EST ID:ApX6VKrk No.4888525 Ignore Report Quick Reply
True fuckin story

>Sometime last year
>Live in NYC. Still illegal in most terms.
>Went to pick up a friend of mine after work for a re-up run
>His cousin is in town. Wants to ride with us because he knows a good connect.
>He and his cousin smokin some good shit he brought up here.
>Friend insists I take a hit. I say nah. he asks again. I say no, I'm driving and I wanna save my next high for me and my girl at home. He say's okay.
>We go. Pick up the weed. On our way back.
>Sirens go the fuck off behind us. Black unmarked vehicle pullng us over.
>Big, 300 pound, tatted up fuckin DEA agents surround my car. Tell us to roll down our windows.
>Asks where we're going.
> I tell them I'm just coming from work and bringing some friends home.
>Asks where I work.
>I tell him I work for a local TV news station (I do), and I show him my work ID and Driver ID.
>Asks if I have any drugs in this car. Says he smells weed.
>Me, scared as fuck, says "no suh! no drugz in this here car!"
>Agent rolls his eyes., Says "look man, I don't care about the weed. I don't care that your boys were smoking. I just need to make sure you're not driving high."
>I say "no no I'm jus driving them home."
>He says okay. Returned to his car with my ID (I have a clean record).
>Gave me back my ID
>Wished us a good day.

Mind you I'm a black man and my friends were both Puerto Rican. Thank God the DEA was a down ass Dominican dude cus a no-good cracker woulda had me locked up forever.
Silas Skullfuck - Sun, 11 Jun 2017 20:31:15 EST ID:+Pisj8Vk No.4888577 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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god i hate paint so much, took way longer than id like to admit to draw this. picture is a shitty reference for the story
>used to sell to people i worked with, and occasional randoms that knew them.
>almost everyone at my work smoked, and most of them bought from me pretty often
>life was good
>driving from my house to my work (fast food restaurant) at like 10pm to sell
>driving on the right side of the pic, my work is on the left side right beside the road.
>get in the turnaround in the middle. need to cross to the farthest lane, but theres at least 5 or 6 cars spaced perfectly so i cant. by the time theyre gone the light will of changed and ill have to wait even longer for all those cars to pass
>decide to get into the closest lane, which had no cars and becomes a turn only lane like 20 feet past the turnaround, and then shift my way over.
>get in the lane, look in my mirror and looks good, turn my head to look out the rear windows just to make sure
>car does something like a 270* turn, im now facing the opposite way i was
>get out and see part of my cars roof on the ground (removeable T tops, no actual damage caused)
>turn around and see an suv 40 feet away, stopped just before the light, with people getting out
>realize i just got hit, some pedestrians that saw it come up and talk to me for a sec, already called the cops
>only 18, still in HS, and this is my first accident and my first car. i was mad, sad, and like 5 other emotions at once.
>cops get there, talks to the other people first, then to me for not even 2 mins. i tell them 3 fucking times i pulled out, it was clear, i was completely in my lane and then im suddenly turned around
>whole time watching all the cops around my car, and not moving more than 5 feet away because i had most of an ounce under the passenger seat. freaking out thinking im going to have to fight them off my car if they decide to search it. decide to get some of my stuff from the back and say im going to put it in my friends car at my work.
>texting friends at work and asking what i should do, etc.
>cops dont give a fuck about me or my car after they asked me a few questions, so i decide to leave it under the seat.
>somehow its my fault, and the official report's recreation of the incident says the second i let off my brakes i got hit, meaning i tried to pull out in front of them.
>my vehicle wouldnt of been facing the direction it was if what the report says happened actually happened

turns out my insurance dropped me before that, so i ended up leaving the state to avoid paying them. id better be getting something out of it if they plan to fuck me that hard, total my car, and then expect me to pay 6k for their car. found out later that the report had their address on it, considered going there and fucking their new car and house up, but it wouldnt of been worth it. pretty surprised they didnt find the weed tbh, i had some gg#4 before what i had at the time of the accident, and i swear that stuff left a permanent weed stink in the car
John Handstands - Sun, 11 Jun 2017 23:12:29 EST ID:zpzAODrf No.4888583 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>November 2014
>friends invite me for a toke sesh
>dumbass friend drives to nearby man-made lake, surrounded by houses.
>Soccer moms everywhere
>"Hey dude we should leave"
"Nah man its cool ill smoke cigs that way it looks not suspiscous"
>yeah it kind of does but whatever.
>eventually cops come
>friend looks me right in the eye and says "sorry man" right as they come up.
>after doing cop shit they let me go. My dumbass friend (HIS NAME IS ZACK. FUCK YOU ZACK. AND FUCK ALL 'ZACKS'.) Zack gets a possession charge
>other friends get in a little trouble
>I'm let go but get a record.
>Don't talk to zack anymore because he's been caught a lot since, and got involved with cocaine so probably more trouble for him
Ebenezer Figglenet - Mon, 12 Jun 2017 01:23:59 EST ID:VOecLH3J No.4888592 Ignore Report Quick Reply

lol so you have a warrant in another state? wont that shit show up if you get pulled over anywhere in the us?
Ebenezer Figglenet - Mon, 12 Jun 2017 01:33:01 EST ID:VOecLH3J No.4888593 Ignore Report Quick Reply

is zack by chance psychotic and on a number of medications?
Silas Skullfuck - Mon, 12 Jun 2017 02:12:14 EST ID:+Pisj8Vk No.4888595 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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it should, but i havent had an issue with it. ive checked a few times since the incident on multiple sites, but i havent found an existing warrant. im guessing they either didnt want to pursue it, their insurance paid for the damages/new vehicle. I got letters from the insurance company for a bit, but they eventually gave up i guess. havent seen anything in at least 7 or 8 months.
take it from me guys, insurance is stupid and you dont need it.
Blaze Zed - Mon, 12 Jun 2017 09:03:26 EST ID:mQA18NYP No.4888604 Ignore Report Quick Reply
9001 interenets for you, sir
Grizzly Brownball - Mon, 12 Jun 2017 19:49:08 EST ID:v6NvOubR No.4888635 Ignore Report Quick Reply
My name is Zach with an 'h', is that cool?
Keegan Friedman - Tue, 13 Jun 2017 03:34:34 EST ID:JbHAbuRq No.4888656 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I always drive high and this is my biggest nightmare possible, because I can't into pokerface, not at all.

I would shit my pants
Edwin Denkinshaw - Tue, 13 Jun 2017 13:46:53 EST ID:FqbcLsN2 No.4888666 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>buddy is house sitting for grower
>grower offers all we can smoke for house sitting
>new years eve
>decide to smoke dabs
>my 2nd time with dabs
>take 2 hits off the thing
>go downtown with friend for festivities
>try to go to bar, but its too packed, causing anxiety
>sit in his car for 4 hours talking because being outside feels too awkward
>ball is going to be dropping soon, we go to the town center
>woman is shouting "FREE BLOWJOBS"
>walks up to me
>I see those party favors that honk in a glass vase filled with beads
>grab the vase instead of a party favor
>"H-Hey! What are you doing?!"
>panic, put it down and walk away
>friend and I decide to leave
>drive 100 feet down the road and a cop pulls us over
>tells us we never turned the lights on.
>friend was driving his moms car, his lights automatically come on.
>asks for insurance, registration, etc
>has none of it, only licence, his mom cleaned the truck
>cop asks him to do a sobriety test
>he says to count to 10 and back down to 1
>start to panic, realize I'm not gonna pass this test
>he completes it flawlessly, and I realize, I don't have to take the test
>mfw he let us go
James Banderridge - Tue, 13 Jun 2017 19:48:40 EST ID:sMY+VAsg No.4888690 Ignore Report Quick Reply
You shoulda stayed and got the free blowjobs man, that cool stuff never happens to me...
Simon Cheshire - Thu, 15 Jun 2017 13:34:11 EST ID:sxToZKiu No.4888793 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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So a bit of background, I'm from a small heavily wooded Midwest town of about 7000 people and an extreamly bored to death police force who hate teens. I also use to live in a trailer park where 60% of the police calls usually come from. So If you live in that park expect to be searched no matter what. My 1st run in with weed and the cops turned into a humiliating situation.

> be about 17
> summer going into junior year of high school
> with my BF at the time Aaron, his friend Joey and his GF Brook.
> doing a burn cruise through the woods
> about to pack another bowl when we spot a cop car chilling along the highway
> he turns off after us then com the lights
> we go to work stashing, grinder is with Joey, brook has a bag of weed which she stuffs in her bra, I put the pipe between my legs
> cop ask for ID then is in the car for 15 minutes,
> we take the oprounity to further hide things
> then Aaron says "shit another cop!"
> another cop pulls up behind the cop who originally pulled us over
> yep we are about to be searched
> Joey goes into panic mode then informs me to hide the pipe in my vagina
> dude... really?
> yes fucking really!
> Joey then makes a comment about how all girls living in a trailer park shove all kinds of things up our pussies, because we are all sluts
> I make a mental note to donkey punch him when he gets out of custody
> one would think shoving it up there would not be too bad, however no lube, and this thing is pretty wide.
> cops return then tell us we smell weed and they are conducting a search
> me and brook stand together Joey and Aaron are separated from us while the 2nd cop searches them.
> they are searched head to toe, brook and myself are given a very gentle pat down and I do mean gentle.
> the weed is still stuffed in Brooks tits and the pipe inside me
> cop 1 finds Joeys grinder papers, another pipe, and about a gram of another weed he had stuffedin the seat that joey was going to sell to me actually.
> cop 2 calls for more cops
> 20 mins later we have half the fucking PD pulled behind us. 4 cars total, 6 cops.
> me and brook are more or less forgotten about while both Joey and Aaron are booked for the weed and for possession of the 2nd pipe.
> 1 of the younger cops tells us he is taking us home
> I just suggest my place, Brooks house was another miles half walk from the trailer park
> we sit in the back quiet as church mice
> cop drops us off and my mom is not home
> officer then gives us the "drugs are bad m'kay, you shouldn't do drugs." Civic speech.
> smile and now
> cop finally fucks off
> brook: " you still got that pipe?"
> me: yep, still got that bag of weed?
> brook pulls out the weed out of her titties
> brook: you better wash and serialize that pipe I know how you trailer whores are!
> we spend the rest of the afternoon smoking the rest if the bag

Aaron and Joey got fines of about $500 each. For just under 3 grams. They took the fall for us and told the cops they were just smoking. I did buy him a new 1/8th as a thank you and a BJ.

I still own that pipe.
Longrod Von Hugendong - Thu, 15 Jun 2017 22:25:20 EST ID:LzGJ8Cvp No.4888818 Ignore Report Quick Reply
This is one of the most hilariously white trash stories I have ever read
Anthony Crabs - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 01:54:18 EST ID:A6oJ42mX No.4888831 Ignore Report Quick Reply
awww that is a really cute high school story <3
Bobby Chong - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 05:45:24 EST ID:Ev3gr4XU No.4888837 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Alright I'll repost mine.

>Be living in gfs parents house that does not like weed
>But alas I am guest so I respect the decision until I can move to my new place
>be out in nearby business sector up the hill on deadend road with the gf
>was an old smoking spot from years past
>Hitting bong in car
>hitting bong in car again
>finish up and pack things away to chill
>dump water out window
>20 minutes go by
>car rolls up lights out
>huh thats odd-- aww shit
>second car rolls up
>cop walks up to driver side
>makes a gay little joke about how people never come up here unless they were up to no good
>takes our IDs
>ages pass
>spot lights in faces
>comes back
>again stand sin puddle of bong water that MUST stank
>"ok you guys have a good night"
>cops leave
>bust out the equipment again and smoke another bowl RIGHT THERE.
Tokey McWeed - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 06:31:31 EST ID:thyesdZG No.4888838 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>Have GF
>I realize that if we get high I'll probably get laid
>We hang out, I brought my Dad's spoon pipe with me
>We end up smoking some of the weed in an abandoned house
>literally so fucking baked that I can barely walk
>We kiss each other on the Purple Cow's lawn
>She takes me out to her favorite smoke spot
>Abandoned rail road track that faces an open pond. The whole area is wooded and beautiful with moss covering the old tracks and the sun glistening on the water
>We hit the bowl
>I have no condoms so I just decide that it would be best if I went home
By the time I made it back my parents were waiting for me. They took the bowl back but I was never really punished for it.
Rolando Mota - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 09:39:01 EST ID:xoCndze4 No.4888846 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>Be me Italian 17 year old boy
>School trip in mountain
>There is this guy with a big lot of weed almost 20 grams
>Me and a small group detach from the class to smoke
>Guy light up joint
>Mfw i see cops watching us
>I warn the others
>They see the cops and quietly start to laugh
>It's the fucking local police the most useless institution in Italy, the are like normal citizen with a uniform and a pistol they can't even use
>Cops approches
>They look at my friend with the joint in his hand
>First cop says "D-d-o not dirty the park"
Lol cops
Cunt McPuntington - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 10:33:52 EST ID:betL2HnG No.4888847 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Great story, great mom
Lillian Pugglewutch - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 11:14:30 EST ID:ZmVLhOdj No.4888852 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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>16 years old, like to smoke and squeeze weasel
>new kid in my home room, looks like a girl
>never did gay before
>we start to talk
>"Oh I simply ADORE weed!"
>He comes over while parents were supposed to be away for the weekend.
>we smoke and smoke and smoke
>"Didja ever do anything with a guy before?"
>me, very nervous, "No."
>neither has he but we start making out on the living room couch
>door opens and in walk my parents
>almost shit pants
>"Is this your new girlfriend?"
>"Uhh umm yeah"
>"Sorry but our flight was postponed. What's your name?"
>"Uhh Janet."
>"What's that smell?" (Mom)
>"We lit some incense before"
>"I did the same thing when I was your age!" (Dad, laughing)
>We look at each other
>"How bout I order a couple of pizzas?" (Mom)
>"Okay! We're kind of hungry!" (Janet / James)
>chow down
>11:30 I say I'm going to take her home
>finish what we started but in the car
>go home with the realization I'm bi
>happy happy
Mavis Fudgecurl - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 14:35:17 EST ID:BYAvAC/T No.4888859 Ignore Report Quick Reply
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Lol italian cops. I was in Rome a couple winters ago and those fellows were all just smoking cigarettes and looking at girls, while I smoked spliffs very close to them. They all looked like gay pornstars too
Phoenix Wright - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 19:14:56 EST ID:g10fAEbt No.4888866 Ignore Report Quick Reply
So just to be clear, you barely escaped being busted for possession and use of an illegal substance and instead of GTFOing of there once the cops left you decided it would be a good idea to smoke another bowl in the same spot?

And people wonder why there are stoner stereotypes...
Esther Sommlefoot - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 19:29:35 EST ID:3BhFQCyC No.4888869 Ignore Report Quick Reply
1497655775714.jpg -(43792B / 42.77KB, 487x700) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

More like open minded imo. But hey be as gay as you want to believe you are being. Pic related, what a glorious world we live in where a boy can be born and become a pretty pretty princess if they so choose.
Phoenix Wright - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 19:32:47 EST ID:g10fAEbt No.4888870 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>what a glorious world we live in where we can violate all rules of logic just because we "feel" like it and anybody who tells us different is demonized by society

ya srsly
Nicholas Sushsot - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 20:00:11 EST ID:3BhFQCyC No.4888871 Ignore Report Quick Reply

Honestly I just wanna put my dick in it.
Thorsday Cuntmuff - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 23:21:07 EST ID:mQA18NYP No.4888886 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Her body is so heavily modified she looks like an alien. Is this supposed to be hot or creepy?
Zori - Fri, 16 Jun 2017 23:24:21 EST ID:ZmVLhOdj No.4888888 Ignore Report Quick Reply
She's gonna play Morticia in a remake of The Addams Family. Arnold Schwarzenneger is cast as Lurch.
Jack Wuvinghet - Sat, 17 Jun 2017 12:32:33 EST ID:2r5LkWX6 No.4888912 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Very Important question, who is cast as Gomez and Uncle Fester. Because Christopher Loyd stole the show and will be very hard to top. Unless they bring him back.
Gordon Strain - Sat, 17 Jun 2017 14:35:32 EST ID:O7N9ukTL No.4888921 Ignore Report Quick Reply
>13 or 14
>parents smoke weed
>ninja my way into their room
>roll across their bed and get me a nug
>go into my room and smoke, they can't tell if they're smoking in every other room
>they got me on camera
>watch myself heist a high in shame
>I smoke with my parents now though
Jenny Gommlekid - Sun, 18 Jun 2017 02:46:30 EST ID:3BhFQCyC No.4888961 Ignore Report Quick Reply

I'm gonna completely fuck you up with this spoiler. Why do you think they had a camera rolling in their room? For security? It's for banging. Your parents have sex tapes.
Herman Smith - Sun, 18 Jun 2017 03:42:31 EST ID:k0XBQ4si No.4888966 Ignore Report Quick Reply
I think it's more likely that they had a drug abusing kleptomaniac 13 year old for a child who knew where their stash was.
Wade Widdle - Mon, 19 Jun 2017 01:02:27 EST ID:O7N9ukTL No.4889022 Ignore Report Quick Reply
Bingo, baby. how else was I gonna play killzone 2 with my bros?

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