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does anyone else here rely on RC benzos to live?

- Sun, 03 Oct 2021 15:10:19 EST RkJu6b7d No.152447
File: 1633288219548.jpg -(11019B / 10.76KB, 205x246) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. does anyone else here rely on RC benzos to live?
>need benzos to live
>have severe anxiety that just got worse and worse over time my entire life
>it was untreated and ignored by doctors while they shoved ritalin down my throat as a kid
>i just get lonelier, sadder, and more suicidal every year while life becomes more and more pointless
>benzos are the only way i can care about boring mundane shit in life while constantly suffering
>can barely get out of bed or do anything
>even getting haircuts is insanely fucking hard for me
>im addicted to weed which makes my anxiety and life more difficult
>i have insomnia and benzos are the only way i can silence the thoughts and fall asleep
>constantly get flashbacks and driven to severe panic where benzos are my only escape

thanks for banning etizolam you fucking pieces of shit. i guess now every good fucking rc benzo is gone and there's only super powered fucking mega ultra benzos now. all i want is fucking ativan or .5mg etizolam or some shit holy fuck.

fucking amerishit. if you need any medication but anti depressants youre a criminal and basically hitler assuming you have the 18 grand a year to pay for health insurance and doctor visits. which i dont.
m - Sun, 03 Oct 2021 17:50:00 EST QQHC2LOH No.152449 Reply
Plenty of states banned etizolam, i.e. Alabama,[48] Arkansas,[49] Florida,[50] Georgia (as Schedule IV, whereas all other states listed here prohibit it as a Schedule I substance), Louisiana, Mississippi,[51] Texas,[52] South Carolina,[1] and Virginia.[53] It is controlled in Indiana as of July 1, 2017.[3] It is controlled in Ohio as of February 2018.

I remember living in one state where it was banned, moved to another state, and it was banned again.

Emma Clivingsidge - Mon, 04 Oct 2021 05:54:02 EST V4HBeqIo No.152454 Reply
You can buy restas online from japan legal in us
Fanny Brubberchig - Mon, 04 Oct 2021 06:17:17 EST eiMwWlKQ No.152455 Reply

But Flutoprazepam is impossible to find. I've never been able to find a reputable vendor online, or one that I trust. It's not safe to buy Rx online anyway because you never know what you're getting.
Fanny Brubberchig - Mon, 04 Oct 2021 06:50:38 EST eiMwWlKQ No.152456 Reply
1633344638753.jpg -(9804B / 9.57KB, 236x276) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

> if you need any medication but anti depressants youre a criminal and basically hitler

There's too much truth in that statement. I'll never for the life of me understand how a doctor can honestly prescribe antidepressants with a straight face.


I was taking 30 mg of Valium every day for 12 years like clockwork, and I never ever EVER needed more. Then the other day the same doctor who had been prescribing it to me this whole time and knew that I was doing just fine with what I had just up and decided to cut me off; like just out of no where, and instead told me he was going to replace it with Venlafaxine....I couldn't believe what I was hearing so I started to patiently explain to him how ridiculous and insane that sounded, but he just kept on about how it was "the right thing to do" and a whole bunch of other stereotypical quack doctor bullshit—white noise that doctors do when they're not going to prescribe you something that you want, until I just looked him dead in the face and told him "you're GOING to prescribe me my meds or I'm going to fuck you up right here right now. And believe it or not it worked. I mean, afterwards I got a voicemail from his office saying that I was going to have to find another doctor (which I was going to do anyway) but hey, I GOT my shit...so I dunno, maybe try that?

I wish we could discuss sources on here so I could find a trustworthy website to buy benzos. I mean I've found a few websites but I'm afraid that it's going to be laced with something dangerous or some shit.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading all that. I had to blow off some steam.
Graham Bagglewater - Wed, 10 Nov 2021 12:28:37 EST rkKwxPij No.152666 Reply
I am in a very similar situation. I was on 4mg xanax a day and then my doctor moved out of state. my next doctor would not prescribe, and I've spent $1,500+ on consultations with three different psychiatrists only to be told each time "we don't prescribe that here". One wanted to put be on Suboxone. I'm looking into travelling somewhere I know I can get it. I have been suicidal without it.

I had bad anxiety as a child and was given ritalin too.
Phyllis Fummlebanks - Wed, 10 Nov 2021 20:51:52 EST DteY3irE No.152668 Reply
Kava works as well if not better than that dose of benzo. Try it out.
Basil Blaffingsig - Thu, 11 Nov 2021 00:05:35 EST W5bCBPOL No.152669 Reply
One of the major RC benzo sellers in NL now carries pyrazolam, which I have heard is the most effective anxiety reducing benzo with the least impairment. They are 3mg pills. Also, one of the 4 or 5 major darnket markets has a vendor selling raw etiz powder for about 100 a g with bulk discounts. I suggest you save some bread and get it before it is gone. It's all preban stock. Good luck my jolly african american.
William Fanworth - Thu, 11 Nov 2021 07:57:00 EST MIEcUizB No.152670 Reply
what's wrong with clonazolam?

just dissolve it in everclear and use a dropper to measure out very small doses (100ug each or less) onto skittles or some other candy, and then since there's only a tiny amount (but THE SAME amount) on each piece dosing wouldn't be difficult. you could even pass them off as regular candy as long as you didn't let anyone eat any of the dosed candies.

this shit honestly isn't that hard. if you can go through the effort of buying gray-market substances online you can go through the effort to learn the absolute basics of pharmaceutical science so you understand how to create reliable, consistent products for your own use.

i've had drugs dissolved in solution forever convert back into the free-acid form on the sides of the container, and i'm such a dank operator that i recognized that the reason the drug recrystallized out of solution and wouldn't dissolve back in is because i know acid-base chemistry and organic chemistry. i was able to extract the free-acid, heat it with baking soda to convert the drug back into a salt that could then be dissolved in water again just like its original form. i applied my knowledge and you can too.

or you can just suffer. see if i care.
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Fuck Mondergold - Thu, 11 Nov 2021 13:34:27 EST 6MuMHwJX No.152673 Reply
Or you can just find a good online supplier and get it in a pre-made solution
m - Fri, 12 Nov 2021 00:35:16 EST ep2AY8PQ No.152676 Reply
>what's wrong with properly dosed cLam/mega benzos in general?

cLam isn't really safe for consistent near daily usage, even in "responsible" doses. Years ago I ran out of etiz when I was a moderate dose dependent daily user (say 1-4mg/day etiz depending), and all I had around for a month or two was cLam. After probably 5-8 larger cLam doses here and there (usually 0.33-0.5mg/day, highest ever maybe 1-2mg in a day) over 2ish weeks, I did a 30ish day taper down from 0.4ish mg to as little as 62.5ug/day of cLam. Eventually I stopped, using cLam every few months for 5-10 days at a time in daily doses of 0.125-0.5mg before stopping CT every time.

Here were the problems:

  1. cLam does NOT, subjectively speaking, have a linear dose-response curve similar to most common benzos. Supposedly cLam is 4x as potent as pharma xanax and 8x as potent as Etisalat. I find that to be true up to doses of around 0.5, maybe 0.75mg cLam. At 1-1.75mg or so, it's subjectively 5x more potent. At 1.5-2.5mg+, it's as much as 6x more potent (impairment/blackout wise, not in terms of withdrawal prevention).

2. cLam anecdotally seems to have a higher chance of causing seizures during both tapered and CT withdrawal vs. known benzos as equal potency doses, seems to develop physical dependency more quickly, and produces worse withdrawals than comparable doses of pharma xanax, Etisalat, Ativan, etc.

3. It's more likely to cause black out/brown out/pissing-in-bedroom-corner-tier behavior than comparable doses of xanax, etizolam, etc.

4. Anecdotally, say 1mg cLam/day causes worse WD/PAWS than 4mg pharma xanax after using for say 8 weeks daily before CT. It also seems to disproportionately destroy tolerance compared to pharma xanax at 4:1 and etizolam at 8:1 ratios.

I'm not anti-cLam. I think SINGLE 0.5ish MG doses for low/no acute tolerance users (up to maybe 0.66-1mg absolute max, no matter your tolerance) taken once every 6-12 or so weeks for recreation isn't the end of the world. That being said, I tried the whole 62.5-125ug clam/day "responsible" dosing, and personally for me that coincided with the exact time my mental illnesses surfaced. I didn't even realize the connection at the time.

I haven't taken cLam in at least 3-5+ years.
William Wamblenadge - Fri, 12 Nov 2021 02:27:13 EST JzMHNhZ+ No.152678 Reply
currently have been taking clam .5mg to .75mg at ~11 30pm for a couple weeks

am i aboutto have seizures here if i taper about half as much every 4 days
DemonBoner69 - Sun, 14 Nov 2021 15:18:16 EST xbB6LNs7 No.152690 Reply
Try half as much every ten days, at that dose you probably wont have a seizure but Clam is a nasty benzo.
Albert Nabberpotch - Wed, 17 Nov 2021 08:28:13 EST MIEcUizB No.152701 Reply
the benzo itself isn't nasty you fuckwit. it's a great substitute for lorazepam considering it's a fusion of xanax and klonopin's most powerful functional groups. the issue here is that it's extremely powerful. probably about 10x as strong as lorazepam. that means you need to dose it volumetrically and design VERY SMALL doses for yourself that can then be employed for various purposes.
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m - Wed, 17 Nov 2021 15:16:46 EST gosb+oz6 No.152703 Reply
>the sole problem with cLam is its inherent potency and lack of basic math literacy to make volumetric solutions, dose responsibly, etc.
>it's a good Ativan replacement when dosed "properly"

Did you not read my post at all? You don't have to agree with my assessment, but maybe consider debating/sparking a dialogue about how you fundamentally disagree with my assertions (instead of name-calling someone else simply for coincidentally accepting a premise that a previous poster clearly also agrees with).
m - Wed, 17 Nov 2021 23:09:41 EST G+wBcmoD No.152706 Reply
What on earth does that have to do with my post that suggests that consistent use of cLam, at nearly ANY dosage levels, just plain isn't as "safe" as say etizolam?
Oliver Dussledale - Thu, 18 Nov 2021 05:22:50 EST CQ8zG/B9 No.152709 Reply
Believe it or not (you wont) if you stop making everything into a boogeyman ie source of anxiety and start facing the things that make you anxious the anxiety will go away. unfortunately you were supposed to learnand start doing this as a kid for it to be the most effective so now you have to undo years of ingrained retardation. youre welcome
Frederick Bonkinnork - Sun, 28 Nov 2021 18:58:52 EST JzMHNhZ+ No.152754 Reply
molarity calculations is how you make volumetric dosing to taper down

Mr Shoe - Sat, 04 Dec 2021 07:03:29 EST ILig6ke9 No.152778 Reply
I used to from around 2011 up until 2017. Some of the darkest times I've ever endured, coupled with some of the best times in my life. Currently my stance is that benzodiazepines should never be used or prescribed for longer than a couple of weeks when taken daily. They are so counterproductive to a happy and productive life, anxiety issues, and the happiness of those around you too.
My life only really improved and stabilised once I stopped taking benzos. Instead I started to workout, eat right, and focus on life goals.
Ernest Brebberhure - Mon, 20 Dec 2021 21:58:07 EST ZwsCRWkZ No.152820 Reply
it's good to see you mr shoe, haven't seen your name pop up here in years. Last I remember you were getting that morphine from the pharmacy and talking about your insane doses and riding motorbikes around Thailand. I haven't lurked here in a few years so its a nice surprise seeing familiar people.
its good to hear you're getting healthy and aren't taking that stuff anymore.
Brain - Tue, 28 Dec 2021 01:39:05 EST zHbvO40s No.152853 Reply
Literally this. My life is aids right now being addicted to benzos/opiates. But like shoe said

>Some of the darkest times I've ever endured, coupled with some of the best times in my life

Fucking truth. OP this is not sustainable . I wish I never started benzos first, it all started with a .5 clonazepam that felt so good especially with some bong rips. /ramt
mario - Thu, 30 Dec 2021 16:56:39 EST sv3op7G6 No.152865 Reply
Hey shoe,

So I spent some time in your neck of the woods in 2019. Honestly I couldn't handle Cambodian style, over the counter, walk in for a box of xanax and Valium and dhc for a few bucks, and walk out, every single day. It's even cheaper than drinking (the benzos anyways).

Glad to hear you got off the daily use. I don't use benzos "regularly" either, just 5-8mg of pharma xanax per month in 2-3 solid doses. Anymore than this and the rebound anxiety would push me toward daily use again.

If you're still in SE Asia, I'd love to hear more drug stories or up to date info on the ground. In 2019, Thailand was hard to get benzos in. I had an empty script bottle of lorazepam with me and went pharmacy to pharmacy asking if they had "anything like it" for jet lag/long train/boat rides. 3 of then rejected me until one single pharmacist in a tiny shop explained they're script only, illegal to go around and ask like this, but then gave me like 20x10mg diazepam (for the equivalent of maybe $10-20) and told me to never come back asking for more.

Vietnam was largely the same, though I didn't really try hard. I never even bothered trying in Malaysia. The pharmacies in Laos didn't really have much of anything (lots of Chinese "medicine" BTW, like what?).

You were mostly in Malaysia right?
Doris Seddlefield - Sun, 24 Apr 2022 14:53:18 EST 5ym/inWA No.153211 Reply
any person can decide to force themselves to talk to people they don't know or sign up for an open mic and do some kind of public performance like music, improv, stand up, acting, "performance art", etc, and if you do that regularly, like anything else you do over and over again, becomes boring. there is no way it's going to continue to be exciting every day. public speaking gives people maximum anxiety and you can force yourself to do it and you're not going to die and eventually it will become boring.

but there is no equivalent with chronic pain or something. going to open mics or forcing yourself to talk to people you don't know wouldn't help with that.

">even getting haircuts is insanely fucking hard for me"

i'm sure it is but at the end of the day no one is judging you for your lack of social skills or whatever. it happens, everyone is awkward, even the president of the united states has plenty of awkward interactions all the time. it's a part of life and if you force yourself into it enough you just stop caring, you become too tired to care, you can't possibly care at a certain point, what other people think.

i went through a period of not talking to people much for years and the only thing that saved my life was regularly forcing myself into anxiety-provoking situations. that's really the only option you have. either do that, or stay in your room and be unhappy and type "fucking assholes" on some forum for the rest of your life. benzos are not a long term solution because eventually even if you take 100 a day you would still build a tolerance. and no amount of wishing that you can be calm is going to do it.

any person can start taking benzos and have a couple benzed out years and then it's not going to work anymore and then you're going to be in benzo recovery for the rest of your life or at least a long time. you might think you can extend that benzed out period forever if only the laws or something were different, but you would still develop a tolerance and you wouldn't be an interesting person to be around because the pills would have done too much damage to your brain and prevented you from growing as a person.
Frederick Cottingham - Sun, 24 Apr 2022 17:11:17 EST 7dEcppKz No.153212 Reply
lmao cant wait to deal with ppl like you in the clinic

i genuinely feel for you guys. docs really need to nip the free flow of benzos/opis in the bud, but there's also no easy way to do it for people like you and OP who have literally been taking benzos for years and will be in agony without em
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Albert Gaddlesag - Mon, 25 Apr 2022 03:59:25 EST xpGknFXj No.153215 Reply
1650873565921.jpg -(17123B / 16.72KB, 500x350) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
It's amazing how drastically different /benz/ has become over the past 10 years. I remember when benzos were discussed on here like they were just "chill pills" that one would take either with a beer or just to relax and enjoy the day. I mean, this place was almost identical to /weed/, and now it's almost 1:1 with /opi/ with people on here literally SUFFERING and feeding for benzos in a really scary way.

Look I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist, but I call em when I see em, and SOMETHING has changed either in the formulation of benzodiazepines or maybe our brains have evolved in some strange way that we don't know about due to a cause that isn't being studied, but I fucking FUCKING remember when popping xannies and valiums were just like "whatever" and the only ones who had problems were the people that mixed them with opiates and booze and even then it had to be in large amounts.

I mean there's people on here complaining about Valium addiction after 10mg a day for a month....WTF?? And others acting like popping 30mg is like this craaaazy number, and it just doesn't make any sense to me. I used to "BWB" after popping 100mg of Valium and it was all just fun....but now, something has changed. That's why I stick to coffee and vaping (nicotine), because there's just got to be something going on they're not telling us about. I'm sorry if I sound schizo, but I can't deny what I'm seeing right in front of me.
James Sunderville - Mon, 25 Apr 2022 20:08:40 EST nHh7hZAV No.153216 Reply
I think its likely long term abuse or kindling. 10+ years ago here in FL a xanax bar was like a dollar, sometimes less. People on this board have probably been taking benzos for years. I have taken various rc benzos but mostly klonopin xanax and etizolam and never had any serious withdrawls. The times I did have wd i tapered off or stiwched to diclaz and tapered painlessly. That being said, I was taking 4-6mg of xanax at a time but usually only take 1-1.5mg xanax a day or the equivalent of etizolam like 3 mg
Eliza Bundale - Tue, 26 Apr 2022 05:53:14 EST xpGknFXj No.153217 Reply
>in FL a xanax bar was like a dollar
> sometimes less.

I'm from Florida too; I left after Katrina and moved to L.A. and although drugs are very easy to get over here, it's just not the same compared to where I lived in Florida (Homestead). I mean, getting Rx drugs over there was like clapping your hands together. Over here in LA it was always a "mission" to score, like we'd huddle and discuss exactly how we were going to about it. I remember back in my neck of the woods in Fl there was this gas station off US1 where you'd just park and wait for somebody to start circling around the lot, with that "look" and like you said, $20 meant 20 (sometimes more) pills. Opiates were obviously more, like $1 a mg for oxys, and they were real ones too; no fent back then.

Now, there were A LOT of factors that contributed to me stopping ALL drugs, but I do have to admit that the hassle of actually having to go get them over here really helped a lot. Police over here in LA are also super duper aggressive and seem almost like they can read minds and know if you have something illegal on you. Back home cops were like how security guards here, dumb or they just didn't care. I'm not sure I would've been able to get sober knowing that I could just pump gas AND buy pills at the same time.
Doris Honnermone - Tue, 26 Apr 2022 16:07:12 EST C7Z6G6Xu No.153219 Reply
man, I miss the hell outa those glory days of opiates.
Getting the 30mg M block roxys and not even considering if they were fake or not because fake pills werent really a thing back then.
m - Thu, 28 Apr 2022 23:18:51 EST G+wBcmoD No.153227 Reply
>what changed

Uh....all the street bars are fake now? Duh lol

They're all realistically Flualp/cLam, or if you're super lucky it's just etizolam or clandestine alprazolam itself, but with all the bars dosed at least twice as potent as real ones.

Hot take: a lot of the internet EU Valium is fake too, especially in the UK/Ireland etc. I'm not sure what they're pressing them with, but it's definitely a thing.

Also, ever since the pandemic, mental health has gone into the toilet statistically, particularly for people with social anxiety.

Hannah Hoshnetch - Sat, 07 May 2022 02:06:25 EST eagALLeH No.153258 Reply
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>Hot take: a lot of the internet EU Valium is fake too, especially in the UK/Ireland etc. I'm not sure what they're pressing them with, but it's definitely a thing.


(I'm the OP from the valium addiction thread who is terrified)

They come in pharma packets and even TASTE the same sweet taste and consistancy i

it's not that i don't believe you but man the varying batch numbers and dates and shit and blister packs and boxes with the leaflets all folded and shit is a long way for a fake no?

But then again i often do wonder how the fuck they get it in the first place. Not just teh Rivotril but the roche diazepam etc. You think it's largely fake?

I notice a marked difference between for example clonazepam and diazepam, and alprazolam (that i get in packs) - similarly i've had the fake bars and i know the clonazolam blackout feel.

I've also had nitrazepam and temazepam - the later being fucking hard to fake surely becauset they come in liquid capsules???
m - Sat, 07 May 2022 15:23:21 EST reWk6S9t No.153260 Reply
Well first off, blister packaging doesn't prove anything whatsoever.


It all depends on if we're talking street on darkness, which specific country etc., but yeah, there's definitely pressed 10mg Valium in say the UK/Ireland. Though anecdotally from what I've been told and read, they don't press with flualp or alp because of the xanax taste, and it kinda seems like cLam is less common.

I'd have to guess that the pressed Valium are more often just etizolam or a mix of etiz+declared.

Also, keep in mind that pressed doesn't always mean faked. I have two different batches of pressed bars right now. The first is advertised as 3mg of actual alp, and the 2nd batch are 1.5mg flualp bars. It's totally possible that either one is the opposite (since reagents won't distinguish and they both taste like xanax), but the vendor had really good feedback.

I don't normally fuck with presses but I'm in a weird spot and kind of just don't care. I'm on daily subutex, so even if there was limited fentalog cross contamination, I'd likely not even feel it/be affected. And I haven't bothered volumetric dosing like normal because I'm out of high proof booze and, again, if I get dosed 2-3x as much as desired from a "hot" bar, I'll be fine anyways.

I do have guaranteed pharma xanax too, but they're much smaller than 2mg tablets/bars.
Edward Bunderwater - Tue, 10 May 2022 04:30:23 EST eagALLeH No.153269 Reply
Whats diclaz like btw? From my experience of the valiums ive had for example, they feel like diazepam in terms of onset, duration, feeling.

Unfortunately ive had 2 relapses in the past week :( last one was 2 days ago wish me luck i really dont want benzos to be holding me back anynore, even if it means the reasons i originally had them for will be worse for a while.

I hope im not permo braindead.
Samuel Shittingson - Wed, 11 May 2022 23:32:59 EST eagALLeH No.153271 Reply
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How long after last dose of valium do WDs start qnd when do they peak?
m - Thu, 12 May 2022 09:19:06 EST G4YjYJGF No.153273 Reply
The best I can say is that diclazepam is basically lorazepam super XR. It's not identical, but lorazepam is one of diclaz's major metabolite.
Jarvis Ginningdock - Thu, 12 May 2022 19:30:12 EST 09M+bfiZ No.153274 Reply
hey man you can always attempt to make the benzos yourself, you are just gonna need at least 2k worth of glassware and equipment, plus the reagents and extensive knowledge of organic chemistry and lab techniques.
Molly Backlecocke - Sat, 14 May 2022 15:16:21 EST gUcU4BlZ No.153276 Reply
taper way down and try to regulate your use so you take a single (1) dose per day. if you cant live with out them you might as well try to live with taking small amounts instead of getting fucked up on them. they really do work a lot better when you use them as prescribed tbh if you have legit medical and psychological problems
m - Thu, 26 May 2022 11:20:47 EST G+wBcmoD No.153296 Reply
>making your own RC benzos
>without at least 4 years chemistry school experience

Megalol, that's a funny joke. Do you want dirty shit with bad synths? They likely have access to illegal/watched precursors that you and I don't. This type of advice for anything beyond an acetone wash, CWE, DMT extraction from plant matter, or at MOST an acid/base extraction is just plain insanity. If he had those skills, he wouldn't be posting about needing them.
Eric Bugenhagen - Thu, 16 Jun 2022 05:33:45 EST kyu6nT9Q No.153334 Reply
Get Phenibut.
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Eric Bugenhagen - Thu, 16 Jun 2022 05:38:00 EST kyu6nT9Q No.153335 Reply
Faggot post.
You take benzos and then do all that which is too hard to do when you're sober.
You get the benefits of "putting yourself out there" without any of the anxiety.
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John Credgebury - Thu, 16 Jun 2022 09:20:48 EST ZinbpLcE No.153336 Reply
yeah legit benzos are meant to help you overcome the anxiety initially and then you stop taking the benzos.

Example: You were poorly socialized and have a hard time talking to girls without getting so anxious they laugh at you. You take some benzos, get some more experience going to social events, being around people that make you anxious... realize its not that bad, and now you have less overall anxiety when off the benzos.

you think benzos are a magic pill that unlocks abilities, something that you need. Once the body gets used to having frequent benzo doses, it lets your baseline tend more towards anxiety and since youve pushed past that, youve become dependant on the benzos.
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Eric Bugenhagen - Thu, 16 Jun 2022 09:52:08 EST kyu6nT9Q No.153337 Reply
>you think benzos are a magic pill that unlocks abilities, something that you need.
I don't think that - it is so.
You can bust your ass chopping trees with your bare hands while I use a proper axe - the substance.
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Eric Bugenhagen - Thu, 16 Jun 2022 09:54:05 EST kyu6nT9Q No.153338 Reply
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>you think benzos are a magic pill that unlocks abilities, something that you need.
I don't think that - it is so.
You can bust your ass chopping trees with your bare hands while I use a proper axe - the proper substance.
Psychedelics and sobriety are cute and all, but they don't actually get you over the hill.
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