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- Tue, 21 Feb 2017 22:49:58 EST W33OzG35 No.402297
File: 1487735398384.png -(963405B / 940.83KB, 994x828) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Detransitioned?
Have you detransitioned and still browse this board?
Whats your story?

I guess if you have considered detransitioning but kept up with transitioning i'd love to hear your story too.
Edwin Fiddlefuck - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 02:26:33 EST 4XYeM9NR No.402298 Reply
Uhhh, a little from column A, a little from column B?

I read up on fundamental issues involved in this kind of thing, and I can deal with it in a very different way only with everything all illuminated.

I realized what bullshit the current salvo of this epidemic is. And that it's way more properly understood as BPD. And that is with even more convincing cases, those are simply very special variants of BPD. No surprise, since this whole shit world here is designed to be as unstable, meaningless, unfair and incomprehensible as possible, so it causes such distortion-pathways, and it demands focussing on that core issue and doing so more than just a tiny bit.

It's also kind of a non issue anyway, since this fad is being so fanatically reeled in into the mainstream view on top of being moulded into a standardised story, that the whole choice of transitioning is being eliminated anyway because you're going to get more and more eagerly sniffed out and spotted and will get flagged as that kind of weirdo and in turn will get meticulously defined as a gender non conforming society member.
James Hacklespear - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 03:43:23 EST YaxJc097 No.402299 Reply
Generally, women are valued for their looks while men are valued for their achievements.
Edward Naddlesare - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 03:43:55 EST W33OzG35 No.402300 Reply

Okay so what you're saying is you detransitioned because in your view gender identity disorder is actually BPD and have detransitioned because transsexualism is mainstream now therefore there are more trans people around which makes it easier to spot trans people. is that rightj? did i interpret you correctly?
I have definitely seen the BPD thing floated around before, Care to go into that more? I can definetly see some 'on paper' correlation, but i would love some real life comparisons if you have the energy.
Edward Naddlesare - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 03:59:16 EST W33OzG35 No.402301 Reply

Hey, thanks for sharing. its a shame that society can sometimes be this way.
Sophie Goodhood - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 12:08:35 EST JIt/Cw4e No.402304 Reply
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I'd rather be a woman trapped in a male body than a woman trapped in the body of a failed male. Also being a woman isn't all that,trust me. I'd rather just get laid and be cool with this man I'm forced to live with everyday.
Fucking Savingcocke - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 19:07:33 EST 4XYeM9NR No.402307 Reply
I think so, more than that though.

Because it's mainstream, people are "reacting" to it more, which generally means doubling up the "defense against perverts" game, and mixing a few serious opinions on it, or at least projecting their insecurities about becoming desperately reliant on the medical industry and making a sneaky show of drawing a proverbial line in the sand here against gender issues having ballooned up to an all time high. On top of the persistent comedy centred attitude towards it that's long been around.

The BPD connection makes it particularly vilifiable, it seems prone to resembling dependantish borderline, but it's very easy for people to ignore that and instead see histrionicky borderline and thus rally hatred against it, and to make matters much worse, edgy feminism has been encouraging passive aggressive borderlineness with it.
Ebenezer Goodson - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 19:55:57 EST W33OzG35 No.402308 Reply

Ahh okay, i definitely see where you're coming from. Thanks for that. totally reasonable and i understand.

So what are your plans exactly? you said a little from both? so you've considered detransitioning but are just taking transition slowly?
Oliver Pondlestone - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 20:32:30 EST YaxJc097 No.402309 Reply
Being in between has caused me more dysphoria than being a guy.
Fucking Savingcocke - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 22:54:39 EST 4XYeM9NR No.402310 Reply
My plans don't really exist and are very bad.

I just don't have the will to go back earnestly to my former self. I seem to have ended up focussed on others more, maybe I'll run with that.

I suppose I'll proceed to dive deeply into weird things. These aren't actually my plans, they're just guesses of where I might be headed.
Archie Fapperhen - Wed, 22 Feb 2017 23:32:20 EST 2k54T+z6 No.402312 Reply
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>Awesome. im happy that you're happy.

I'm not I feel like I'm stuck in a bad marriage. Like I'm married to an idiot and I'm forced to deal with his idiotic family. I wake up in bed with him every single morning and we're forced to share a bathroom to make matters worse.

Thanks for trying to be happy for me though.
Ebenezer Goodson - Thu, 23 Feb 2017 02:15:47 EST W33OzG35 No.402314 Reply

you're such a reasonable and well thought out person, or at least you appear to be.

Im really glad you've talked to me. I think everything you say is the absolute correct way to operate.
Ebenezer Goodson - Thu, 23 Feb 2017 02:39:23 EST W33OzG35 No.402316 Reply

im sorry darling, i mustve misread your post.

So you feel that your male side is as prominent as your female side and you're actively competing for which way to direct your life and in turn are ending up going around in circles.

Is that right?
Barnaby Dartdock - Thu, 23 Feb 2017 02:49:19 EST D4TP60Hi No.402317 Reply
I could see that. Kind of a feeling of being stuck in the middle a bit? There are definitely people like me out there that find androgyny attractive. But that not really feeling like you quite fit into one space thing. Thats rough.
Fucking Savingcocke - Thu, 23 Feb 2017 04:07:41 EST 4XYeM9NR No.402320 Reply
I don't know, I can hardly say that it's been working out all that great in day to day life.

I'd say my thoughts and emotions are just strongly separated. Particularly now. I've also conversed asocially a lot. Kind of seems like my emotions are either practically-off or cranked way up, and after they've been up, I get told in all sorts of ways that I'm full of nonsense.

I doubt you can call that gender dysphoria, it would get more basically described as conformity-apprehension first.
Ebenezer Goodson - Thu, 23 Feb 2017 08:32:52 EST W33OzG35 No.402342 Reply

I think its important to remember that hormones can fuck with your emotions A LOT. and i mean a lot. Have you had your levels checked recently? maybe if you're having issues with emotions being up and down you might want to speak with your doctor.

full of nonsense? i think you just need to find people who can actually hang with you for the things you say and how you say it rather than other reasons.

Honestly, i think if you think you have BPD, go and get it confirmed. don't self diagnose.
Graham Chunnerfidge - Thu, 23 Feb 2017 16:14:56 EST xAhELeU5 No.402363 Reply
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>So you feel that your male side is as prominent as your female side and you're actively competing for which way to direct your life and in turn are ending up going around in circles.

I could just best describe it as I've settled and learned to accept that man for who he is despite resenting his failures and imperfections. I engage in a lot of self depreciation as a result of my failures. At the same time I had to accept that woman whenever I think about how things could be different I usually picture myself as a dame. Which could be called a childish fantasy.

They're no longer competing they've just accepted the reality. I think I could be happier living as a man because I was obviously born in a male body for some divine purpose. Maybe I was some lady who wanted to try on male clothes in past life. But that's overly spiritual and speculative. Though I get that sense of myself from time to time.

I think embracing the female side of me will allow me to be a better person to those around me. It's pretty annoying but I always get this feeling that it comes off as hermaphoditic but it's not I like the male and the female or something.
Isabella Blackwell - Sun, 26 Feb 2017 04:16:32 EST 4XYeM9NR No.402398 Reply
I don't even know precisely what the shrink setup is like around me. But in any case, I bet I'd end up running circles around them. Nor do I really distinguish between these kinds of "syndromes" and I doubt even they do if they have any real clue what they're doing. And I've already put my thumb on what sorts of lifestyle cutbacks I've been subjected to causing such states, and figured out how I have to patch the vacant mental slots up.

I suspected that I had people to hang with for such reasons. But then shit comes up and someone "takes a stand" against me in the name of normality. Instead, there are standards around me for what kinds of relationships there's supposed to be ... there are people that love, celebrate, preach and defend these good, noble relationships.

My emotions are pretty incendiary even without hormones. I seriously wouldn't want to end up reliant on them, together with the goddamn doctor bastards.
Nicholas Nollerwine - Sun, 26 Feb 2017 16:01:24 EST jPbF0eKs No.402405 Reply
>My emotions are pretty incendiary even without hormones. I seriously wouldn't want to end up reliant on them, together with the goddamn doctor bastards.

I know the feeling. Being stuck on those damn pills is a curse. As for your incendiary emotions I would recommend Vitamin B complex and magnesium.
Emma Dibberkitch - Mon, 27 Feb 2017 04:40:42 EST 4XYeM9NR No.402419 Reply
I have at times been getting absolutely a lot of magnesium. I doubt I'm undernourished at all at the moment. From what I've heard, vitamin B jumbopacks are for improving dream recall and such.

Again, I've traced back extensive roots to emotional volatility. I kind of just wish I could manage to get together with someone else with common one...
Edward Honeybanks - Mon, 27 Feb 2017 09:17:56 EST M8GMDKiO No.402422 Reply
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I wasn't fully transitioned but I stopped taking hormones and all that. I was feeling very stuck after like 3 years on HRT and still not being fulltime, since it was impossible for me to get FFS for my man face, and i started to try to deconstruct everything in my mind that was causing me to suffer like that, as well as wishing I could be OK with being a man. And I actually felt I could be OK.

So I stopped HRT for about 4 months. Was doing fine for a while, and i found some pretty good detransition resources which helped me to sort out my high-level ideas about gender, caring about arbitrary shit like pronouns and stuff like that. But it seems in the end that there is some neurochemical component going on with testosterone, because dysphoria came on extremely strong, felt like total shit, couldn't concentrate, couldn't stop thinking about wanting to be a girl. Got on HRT again and that went away instantly, so I decided to just be a male on estrogen or whatever.

So overall it was kind of a waste but I learnt some valuable lessons (like, testosterone + my brain = no) and ended up in a better state. I will probably transition still since i'm going to be on HRT forever but it's not really urgent or debilitating anymore.
Lillian Hogglecocke - Mon, 27 Feb 2017 13:16:45 EST 3ig2F1yK No.402424 Reply
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I was feeling very stuck after like 3 years on HRT and still not being fulltime, since it was impossible for me to get FFS for my man face.

This the reason I quit after four months. I also tried for five months the year before last and then quit. I also want to have children, I think; at least one little fucker. So I can shower them with the love, affection, attention and understanding I didn't get. Then when I get older and they make something of themselves they can take care of my decrepit ass.
Honey McManson - Fri, 05 May 2017 20:17:02 EST 19ZDwcsi No.403159 Reply
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I am basically in the process of detransitioning. Or more like I actually never transitioned (socially).

I continue taking hormones but live as a man socially. I failed so hard with my transition that if I had my hair cut short I would instantly look like an average man. My face isn't the problem since I have long eyelashes, LeafyIsHere chin, full lips but my head/skull shape is the reason why I'll never successfully transition. FFS wouldn't help me either because of a long midface and skull shape.
Overall I am a dumbass for not transitioning earlier and I hope some homophobe finds me out and smashes my pathetic manskull in to finally set me free. *shrug*
Cyril Bunnerstone - Sat, 06 May 2017 03:53:11 EST W33OzG35 No.403160 Reply

There is no point taking hormones if you arent going to socially transition or actually present and live life as the sex you believe you are.

You need to accept one or the other, either accept that you're a trans and you arent going to pass and be okay with it, or accept that you'd rather be perceived as a cis man and stop taking hormones.

So lets try this, who is your support base? who do you talk to in real life on a regular basis? if its no one, then find a support group, i know, i know its terrible awful hons, obvious man in dresses etc, but its better than nothing, heck you might even find a friend where you can mutually support each other.

have you talked to your doctor about this? would it be possible for you to talk to your psychologist about this? Does your doctor even know you are detransitioning?

Most cuties dont look cis and what i mean by that is, you may not look like a ciswoman, but you also dont look like a cis man, now i dont know about your actual physicality, but be yourself, fuck what people think about you, some people have their pride and cant accept anything less than total cis-passing, but for most trans people this is not achieveable and they need to still live their lives like anybody else.

Accept that you're a trans or stop taking the pills, seriously, if you're going to live life as a man you already have the equipment, better sooner than later.

i think you need to take a moment and do some real soul searching and ask yourself what you really want out of this life and where you are going to go next.
Akumadio - Sat, 06 May 2017 08:51:49 EST J9Zkv3Og No.403162 Reply
Someone didn't follow the rules. This is exactly why the process is in place. Therapist are heroes they save lives.
Edwin Hiblingwag - Sat, 06 May 2017 15:18:19 EST bGbaRmye No.403163 Reply

I've also been on HRT almost 4 years now and still haven't socially transitioned. I guess you could say I wouldn't be happy with anything less than total cis-passing and I started HRT under the premise that I could eventually be passing. Unfortunately it was all wishful thinking; I started HRT in my early 20s long after puberty stopped for my body. I'll never be passing and I'll forever have this huge ugly manly skull and deep voice.

HRT while not transitioning is a relatively livable middle ground. I still have trouble accepting being born in a male-gendered body but to say that I should stop taking HRT, that I must pick one side or another is counter productive to people who legitimately have a beneficial effect from taking HRT without transitioning. Yes it sucks so much that I won't be taken as either a cis man or woman but the alternative of having and getting old in a testosterone flooded body is even worse.
Fuck Chumblebark - Sat, 06 May 2017 19:52:15 EST YaxJc097 No.403164 Reply
The truth is probably you won't pass and you should just accept that.
Edwin Sammleway - Sun, 07 May 2017 09:36:22 EST W33OzG35 No.403168 Reply

your story sounds familiar i think ive already commented about your situation in an other thread?

Either way ill go again, theres no point in transitioning if you arent going to socially transition, you say testosterone is your problem, easy fixed, just take an AA, go get an orchi, bam done no more evil testosterone! thank me later :) you dont need to take estrogen to fix your testosterone problem.

you havent benefited though have you? has anything actually changed for you in the 4 years you've been taking these pills? or is it just much of the same except you've convinced yourself you've fixed/fixing the problem?

Look, part of passing is learning how to be a girl, you cant just leave the house one day and pass, it doesnt work that way and dont let anyone tell you it works that way, you need to be free to be yourself, if you cant be yourself then you'll never learn you'll never progress. cuties go through shit in the beginning, we all get called "sir" quite bluntly, but as time passes we learn from our mistakes, we need to make mistakes to be able to progress.

you can sit at home saying "im not going to do anything until the world is totally convinced im female" all you want, but its never going to happen, because while you're sitting at home waiting you arent out there practising your voice and doing things that could be beneficial to your transition.

i tried writing three other aproaches before this one, i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but people dont give a shit about you, people dont give a shit about a man wearing a dress, its 2017, its been done, have you seen eurovision some guy with a beard wearing a dress won, its 2017, all the fears you have told yourself are in your own head.
This is your life and all you're doing is sitting around telling yourself that you've fixed/are fixing the problem and that your issue is testosterone its not that you are a trans.

At the end of the day, no one knows you, you're a man to them, they see you in the street and they go "oh hey theres that male bodied male identified person :) G'Day m8 how about them crazy girls amiright? want to go watch sports and talk about fixing automobiles?"

Passing 100% is a rarity and even when you see people posting about it on other sites, its bullshit its lighting, it makeup its people, lovely people who much like you have been set a standard which they are trying to reach and so by capturing these photos they look at these photos and say "this is me, this is what i look like all the time".

i dont even know where im going with this anymore, im tired.

it is one or the other, and im havent said any of the things ive said to be mean or bitchy, but i want you to really think about this, WHO ARE YOU? dont tell me, go into the bathroom and ask the person staring back at you. are you a man or are you a woman? at the end of the day physicality has nothing to do with it, its a mentality thing.

All i can tell you is nobody calls me he, him, his, sir, mr, not even the government, I dont pass 100% i have a male skeleton, i have male hands male feet, male chromosomes, male skull etc, you need to decide if you want to be called she or him, ms or mr, man or woman.
you cant live your life forever being in limbo.

Anyways i think that about does it, again sorry for the tiredness, im sure if you have any issues you can respond and ill clarify.

this is why people should go see psychologists and have a support base. maybe ill take a page out of my favourite phrase lately and say go see a psychologist.
Nell Turveyforth - Sun, 07 May 2017 23:30:16 EST Euc190mI No.403169 Reply
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Part 2 of that article for anyone interested. The Plain Dealer in Ceveland, 1980.
cranium - Tue, 09 May 2017 00:49:26 EST fkWEr28b No.403180 Reply
Ya I detransitioned. I started at 20 and I am 24 now. I am happy with my decision. What allowed me to be happy with detransitioning was critically looking at how successful transition can realisitically be along with swallowing lots of redpills. Also a friend of mine saved me from an FFS disaster waiting to happen, and helped me fully understand the intricacies of FFS and thus I was able to realize it would have been an awful decision and would not have helped me pass.

I feel pretty good besides my breast tissue. I am excited to get rid of it. I feel like an attractive guy and I feel 100x more confident and "optimisitic" than when transitioning.

Thats not to say all my problems went away. I still have a flawed identity, cracked, unwhole. I think this is just the reality for most LGBT people, or at least LGBT people with the kind of conformist mindset I have. Fags just aren't as happy as the equivalent straight. Society is not designed for fags.
cranium - Tue, 09 May 2017 00:53:45 EST fkWEr28b No.403181 Reply
yes its gross what "transgenders" have become to the general public. Absolute pathetic jokes. Hons and autists are the face of cuties. And whores. Hedonistic whores (they never think what they will do when they get old and people don't want ot watch them jerk off their atrophied cocks on chaturbate anymore)
cranium - Tue, 09 May 2017 00:55:58 EST fkWEr28b No.403182 Reply
Women are valued for their looks. Men are valued for everything. You are really naive if you think men aren't valued for their looks and big cocks as well. Men (valuable ones at least) are multifaceted. Women are one dimensional trying to project that they are multifaceted.
cranium - Tue, 09 May 2017 01:08:49 EST fkWEr28b No.403183 Reply
I am happy I haven't experienced regret. We are all complex individuals. I don't think about being a girl anymore. I thought maybe I wanted to be a boy on hrt but I really don't. I don't like feeling "less' than others. It makes me hate myself. Femboys are just kind of pathetic in real liffe. Its a fantasy that isn't a real thing. There are just femme fags and masc guys, no in between, no special magical pretty femboy. I mean thats just my opinion. But like I have unique experience. I WAS an athletic boy. Part of my identity is definitely fused with masculinity, as flawed as it may have been. I feel my background is very different from these nerds and generallyl geeky shutin fags that transition that have no experience with masculinity. For them its choosing between being a beta male nothing or a "girl" (fantasy). Not saying thats you, but I think thats pretty common.

The cuties that make sense to me are the very homosexual ones that decided to go all out. One thing is true. cuties get hotter, and "straighter" men than fags. So I understand where those girls come from. At the same time its still a shit life and not one for me.
cranium - Tue, 09 May 2017 01:12:21 EST fkWEr28b No.403185 Reply
I want to have children as well. Its one thing that is bothering me a lot. I don't really want to have children in a gay relationship, but I don't know if I am attracted to women enough to make anything similar to a marriage work. A lot of times I think of finding a girl who is kind of like me, not looking for the perfect man or perfect relationship but someone to have children with but have a casual sexual relationship. I dunno. Its fucked most likely. This is why I am so jealous of straight people. I just want to make little mes and help them grow. I despise the current anti-children bullshit among whore millenial women and their stallioned beta partners
cranium - Tue, 09 May 2017 01:17:34 EST fkWEr28b No.403187 Reply
its fake. smoke and mirros. camera angles. you morons don't understand anything because you spend your entire lives online looking at EVERYTHING through the prism of the internet.

Also there are levels of passing. What does it mean to "pass"? "Pass" means nothing. Its meaningless. You must assign CONTEXT. But can you afford to live your life in context? no. that is a ridiculous life. Where in one context you are one thing but in another you are a freak. Who wants that life? You won't even be able to control the context for the next day. Its all random. UNless you isolate yourself. Which is why the vasts majority of cuties isolate themselves.
cranium - Tue, 09 May 2017 01:20:04 EST fkWEr28b No.403188 Reply
Doesn't matter what age you start. That is another meme from the delusionla trans community. Hint hint: genetics are more powerful than hormones
cranium - Tue, 09 May 2017 01:27:51 EST fkWEr28b No.403189 Reply
I don't know. How you are valued in life. What value is to you? Like really. How do you feel valuable? Its critical to feel valuable if you want to have a happy life.

Redpills like sometimes you don't get what you want. I had a very privleged life all things considered. "transgender" and my sexual identity, my homosexually, were the only things crippling my life. I was obsessed with somehow overcoming these things and "solving" them. But in the end you just have to accept what you are and realize certain ideals you hold for yourself are not realisitic.

What else? Idk. Redpills on ffs. Redpills on moron cuties projecting online. Redpills on the idea that starting early allows you to pass.

You do a lot of maturing from the ages of 20-24. A lot more than previous.
Wesley Blondlemire - Sat, 13 May 2017 04:56:32 EST OzVGpa/2 No.403223 Reply
A lot of the focus are on MtFs (and that's something to point out) but you'll notice something about this whole trans thing looks off by focusing on the FtMs. Lots of them identify as nonbinary. Most of them are some variant of lesbian and some bisexual and it's not uncommon, contrary to popular belief, for them to de-transition.

Then you have transgender children.

After over 3 years of transitioning, I de-transitioned recently. Am now just gender non-conforming and find other ways of dealing with my dysphoria than doing collateral effects to my body, mental state and life. Once I figured out there's more to life than my gender and my looks, did lots and to be let go of some fantasies I had about myself and reality then things started to make sense. It wasn't easy and took lots of therapist visits.
Wesley Blondlemire - Sat, 13 May 2017 05:28:04 EST OzVGpa/2 No.403225 Reply
>I seriously wouldn't want to end up reliant on them, together with the goddamn doctor bastards.

And this was one of my main problems. It's like an Achilles heel. Most of not all of it is temporary in the long run and ive heard horror stories of doctors just going on vacation, pharmacies screwing up, insurances screwing up, shortages. And you're supposed to keep a consistent (yet imbalanced) levels of hormones for the rest of your life? Especially if you get the "sex change" surgery With few long term studies by the way, its still "experimental" Treatment is only in a handful of countries despite it being sooo well studied.

And you know why? Because most people don't truly buy into this. They see it similarly to plastic surgery and furry fandom.
Wesley Blondlemire - Sat, 13 May 2017 05:30:30 EST OzVGpa/2 No.403226 Reply
> Most of not all

Most of, if not all* Damn tablet.
Wesley Blondlemire - Sat, 13 May 2017 05:38:45 EST OzVGpa/2 No.403227 Reply
When you come off of taking external hormones after taking them for a while your body is re- adjusting, it took around 6-8 months for mine to stabilize.

This includes mood swings and anxiety, so it would be a good idea to seek a good therapist.
Wesley Blondlemire - Sat, 13 May 2017 05:41:54 EST OzVGpa/2 No.403228 Reply
Oh and taper off them, don't just quit cold turkey.
Fuck Hettingridge - Sat, 13 May 2017 17:39:32 EST 8QZZRZO7 No.403231 Reply
I halfway detransitioned? I was on testosterone for seven years and then I decided to stop for a number of reasons. I'd already done a few trial periods of stopping completely and trying to be a girl but both times were hideous.

This time I went on the Nuvaring so I wouldn't have periods and I still dress the same and kept my pronouns and name. This means I present as a cis-appearing femboy 80% of the time and a cis-appearing femgirl 10% of the time. Life is pretty good.
Nigel Sullernadge - Sun, 14 May 2017 02:46:54 EST FF6qpLkH No.403234 Reply
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Thanks but I think i'm fine how I am, going off of HRT is really not something I ever want to do again even disregarding those effects.

Update on that post btw: I'm gradually moving towards social transition again, but with less urgency. Before detransition I was suffering so much from thinking I would never look ok and so I couldn't present myself how I wanted. Now I can see that it doesn't matter and I don't really look so bad as I thought anyway, so I should just be free to be however I like. If I sort my voice and clothing and hopefully get FFS I think i'll be pretty comfortable.
Walter Drittingford - Fri, 26 May 2017 17:48:19 EST OzVGpa/2 No.403347 Reply
What you can also do is go on antiandrogens, like Bicalutamide for example.
Molly Deckletedge - Sat, 27 May 2017 04:39:46 EST 8/ktPS8V No.403348 Reply
i havent 'detransitioned' so to speak but i've been off and on hormones without ever fully transitioning because im terrified of coming out, and personally i feel gender is a big ol trap (no pun intended). I'm back on hormones recently, as my physical dysphoria got to be too much and I decided that I have one life and I'm gonna live it completely and not this weird back-and-forth. I don't know when I'll transition socially, I guess whenever people feel comfortable seeing me as a woman, but for me it's mostly physical dysphoria + disdain for gender in general
Fucking Clembledale - Sat, 27 May 2017 05:00:28 EST W33OzG35 No.403349 Reply

What does your psychologist think about going back and forth all the time?
Envy - Sat, 27 May 2017 06:14:03 EST F3ksySQh No.403350 Reply
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Hey. So....

About Jan-Feb I decided to de-transistion. Manly out of loneliness, not passing, always just some gender queer piece of shit. Initially there was a period of relief. No longer did I need to work multiple jobs to slowly, slowly save for expensive surgeries. I didn't feel like I had to DO anything anymore.

Cut my hair, then later on cut it even shorter. Tried to grow a beard, pitiful. Eventually I came to realize that I am not a man. At least not in the traditional sense. I could feign being male, it had been so ingrained into me during my teenage years when I tried to emulate other men around me.

And my body is another story. Years of hormones. Although I never found my breast growth impressive, they are there, no denying it. Another moment in the mens washroom washing my hands next to an old man. I cringed internally. I couldn't fathom growing old like that. I considered starting to lift weights, become a typical hyper masculine man women love, couldn't stand the thought of being big and muscular.

Some time goes by, I start filling a void with drugs and food. Lots of each. Probably stoned for a good two months eating my feelings. During this period my sexuality made me realize partly that I can't live as a man. I can't be with a woman as a man, I'm too submissive even if I want to penetrate them. Cant be with men and as man, feels wrong to me personally. At some point I came across a FFS before and after image dump. I scrolled through, some pictures of trans women I had seen before I took my first dose of HRT, and was envious. But also payed close attention. Most of these people were pretty masculine before, but none of the ones who passed were overweight. This entire time I have been big, bulky, still somewhat muscular underneath it all. Anyway..

I've decided to take the proper steps and try again. Plan my transition better, more accurately in a sense. I'm 28 now, 6 years of HRT. My masculine feature stop me from passing, but not so much that I think FFS will fail me. I've begun crash dieting about a month and a half ago, lost 26lbs. I plan to get very very small and see how well I pass by that point. Funnily enough I'm now receiving female attention. I guess even with HRT I'm just a "pretty boy". Maybe pretty boys with FFS make pretty girls. Time to find another job, save even it takes me 5 more years. Meanwhile I'll do vocal training, build up a wardrobe, and whatever else it takes to be where I want to be after those 5 years. Being a woman for the next however many years seems for more ideal than pretending I'm on with masculinity for the what feels like an eternity.
Fucking Clembledale - Sat, 27 May 2017 08:42:14 EST W33OzG35 No.403352 Reply

Good for you! i hope it works out this time.

I dont quite understand why you de-transioned out of lonliness, maybe you thought that if you were a guy again it would fix your lonliness problem?
I think the way to attack being a transsexual is to see transitioning as only going to fix one thing, your gender dysphoria.

Im really glad you're giving it another shot you'll have to keep us updated.
Nell Homblechetch - Mon, 29 May 2017 00:34:51 EST 8/ktPS8V No.403362 Reply
i don't have insurance but im trying to go to planned parenthood and get a script once im low on the stock i got from before

i'm in a pretty similar situation to you, i relate a lot to it.
Jarvis Pittfuck - Mon, 29 May 2017 01:35:18 EST W33OzG35 No.403363 Reply

You should see a psychologist. maybe planned parenthood could organise some kind of community psychologist for you to see?

Im not saying this to be mean but flip flopping all the time is not healthy, you should sort out your head first before you jump back onto hormones, find a psychologist to discuss why you've stopped and started multiple times.
Priscilla Blytheway - Mon, 29 May 2017 20:29:17 EST elYEnzsG No.403369 Reply
Oh I meant fuck SRS. I love looking like a chick but fuck having a busted out scarred up fuck whole. I'll take the titties and keep the dick all most fire lesbians like girlcock.

You're chill don't feed into this bullshit group think just do a bunch of pushups and curls. That titty tissue will turn into bueno pecks.
Priscilla Punningbury - Wed, 31 May 2017 12:25:43 EST BYAy8UwK No.403396 Reply
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I've been convinced I was a trans since last summer. Had to wait 5 months to get an appointment at the Gender Clinic.
In the meantime, through the help of some other cuties on 4chan, I began selfmedding since February.

Now that I've actually gotten bobs, I'm both ecstatic and scared.
Selfmedding in the winter and spring was okay, but now it's getting hotter and I can't wear hoodies very often anymore. Other people around me have said they can see my bobs and thinking about that terrifies me.

I've stopped taking my hrt for a few days now and I'm confused.
I feel defeated and angry at myself. Is this really what I want? Why am I so easygoing about stopping my hrt just because I'm scared? Being a girl means having bobs and then I think about whether or not I'll be able to handle that.

When I started hrt, I thought; Why not try? I'd probably kms anyway if I didn't. But for some reason, I'm now scared of both continuing and stopping transition :(
Sidney Fimblechet - Wed, 31 May 2017 13:09:18 EST 9Z+nhH7v No.403397 Reply
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hey i'm in the same boat. try out mindfulness meditation!
Martha Mebberwill - Wed, 31 May 2017 14:54:42 EST sG5BnVUz No.403398 Reply
>FFS disaster waiting to happen, and helped me fully understand the intricacies of FFS and thus I was able to realize it would have been an awful decision and would not have helped me pass.

Could you elaborate?
Cyril Hevingford - Wed, 31 May 2017 18:31:32 EST W33OzG35 No.403404 Reply
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Her skull puts her in the "pretty trans" range rather than the "female" range. So even if she did get FFS her cranium size would still get her clocked, therefore not passing, therefore there is no point in transitioning.


This is the problem with self medding, exactly what you're going through right now, you have 0 support, you should be talking to a psychologist, fuck if they support trans people.

You know why you need to wait 5 months? to see if you're serious, thats the point of the long wait time, its the new RLE where they test if you're serious about this because most kids have a "i want to be a trans" idea then within 5 months they go on living their lives without transitioning, but with self medding those same kids just go order hormones from the internet with 0 mental healthcare, their only support are literal other children on the internet who dont have any idea what they are doing, then when they are 3 months in "why did i do this, im scared, why did i do this waah" "someone said they seen my boobs, now i dont know if i want to be a woman" "ive stopped hormones and kind of scared how easy it was to stop them, but i still want to be trans".

Truth is you're probably just having a moment and you're probably going to start hormones again in a day or so, if you had any real support you'd know that most transgirls begin to get real mood swingy at 3 months.

But now is a good as time as ever to ask yourself why you are transitioning and if you even have realistic expectations of what your transition is going to lead to.

go get real support from a psychologist and even a support group with all the "hons" because it seems live you've rushed into this even though you've "Wanted to be a trans your whole life".
Cedric Brashlut - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 00:32:02 EST neYx9EYk No.403435 Reply

I was interested, and was hoping it would be posted. Thank you.
Cedric Brashlut - Fri, 02 Jun 2017 01:00:46 EST neYx9EYk No.403436 Reply
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>Now that I've actually gotten bobs, I'm both ecstatic and scared.

I know the feeling.
Hamilton Cheshshaw - Sat, 03 Jun 2017 12:08:22 EST OWmGNQdu No.403453 Reply
I transitioned because I hated a male body. I didn't expect it to solve any social problems, or open any doors, or create some magical new life. I expected it to up the difficulty in life and that's about it, but it would make me feel comfortable with myself and the way others view me. I act the same, I'm not overly feminine or masculine and I do activities that are traditionally associated with both genders. I'm not a different person, I don't separate the identity of myself with my new name from my old name. I have a professional career and they were totally fine with it because I was professional about it and don't whine or bring it up; I transitioned with my clients after I was passable. My new clients are none the wiser- if they are, they don't say anything because they like my work and it doesn't matter. I don't really think about being trans ever anymore unless it comes up in a specific manner or the cringe at hearing modern trans rights bullshit on the news.

It isn't something to obsess over- if it is, look into OCD being a cause, I've seen some interesting studies on that. I know a lot of cuties and see more on this and other places who think it will solve their problems- deep inside they think being a girl will make their life a magical anime of happiness, or that they don't live up to some standards set for males and would be happier female, or are depressed/friendless and deluded into thinking girls aren't also like that. If you're transitioning to solve any problem beyond physical sex dysphoria you should evaluate your true reasoning. Be honest with yourself or it'll be an even bigger problem later. If you're doing it for sexual reasons, idk what to tell you. You either get a shitty fake vagina or a dick that hardly works and the pool of people willing to have sex with you shifts; if you weren't a sexually active person before and you think girls get laid more, spoiler you will only get super weird enthusiastic trans chasers.

There are a lot of dumb reasons people transition. FtMs do it a lot out of trauma or overblown advantages of being male.
Sidney Shittingwell - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 02:16:51 EST axoN4mpS No.403464 Reply
>bob dobbs
>church of subgenius

Why is my local hookup app full of FTMs? The other day I wanted to plow a MTF girlie looking trans and it was entirely 'detransitioned' FTMs with the most ridiculous names ever like Emmet and Braiden. They didn't even look remotely male either, they looked like qt tomboy dykes. The only one that looked kind of male was a big fat FTM with a beard that sort of had me fooled but I'm betting their walk is over exaggerated like Rob Scheneider trying to be a cowbow or something.
Caroline Derringnudge - Sun, 04 Jun 2017 03:01:58 EST W33OzG35 No.403465 Reply

yeah there are loads of genderqueer ftms out there, its all about expectations vs reality in regards to transition, i know a few ftms who are manly men,

i think one of the main contributing factors is the meme that people can just choose their gender without understanding that there is permanent, life altering changes involved in transitioning.
Emma Blinkinlitch - Wed, 07 Jun 2017 00:33:58 EST fkWEr28b No.403481 Reply
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I like to use this picture. FFS "sort of" fixes the green, but never the red.
Emma Blinkinlitch - Wed, 07 Jun 2017 00:36:29 EST fkWEr28b No.403482 Reply
>after I was passable

Its funny I bet there are a ton of desperate cuties that believe you. If you don't think about being trans and passing than you are one of those delusional ones who convinced themselves they passed because they couldn't deal with the alternative.

cuties that most pass pretty much never speak like you
Molly Sussleshaw - Wed, 07 Jun 2017 20:25:06 EST +wdPCMGI No.403486 Reply
ITT: transgirls who failed at being girls socially whining like the girls they truly are
Hugh Worthinghall - Sun, 11 Jun 2017 00:53:25 EST X4nBx/SW No.403506 Reply
>like the girls they truly are
Want to be, there I fixed it for you.
Samuel Wenderville - Tue, 16 Apr 2019 13:54:50 EST HnJd7Bpj No.406013 Reply
>people ITT pretending BPD is real and not just a wastebasket diagnosis for bipolar-schizophrenia spectrum cases that don't fot neatly into the DSM's arbitrary symptom lists

I love the BPD fad where you retards think any slight mood swing qualifies as what Jeffery Dahmer had. You're not Jeffrey Dahmer. You're a cyclothymic with baggage. And still a trans. Deal with it.
Beatrice Pirringlatch - Mon, 29 Apr 2019 21:52:53 EST YJ0yv/iP No.406063 Reply
I guess I should have posted here instead of being insolent.

Fucking Poddlebury - Fri, 26 Jul 2019 00:13:14 EST VXOdpzl8 No.406295 Reply
>cowards: the thread
Henry Donningforth - Wed, 31 Jul 2019 07:59:09 EST TITaUB1w No.406318 Reply
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lol seeing this again in 2019. still doing the same thing but I've sworn off female hormones. Testosterone only, usually present as right in pic related

I don't think it's cowardliness; I think it's people just weighing their current options and doing what they feel safe doing.
Jenny Wocklepudging - Wed, 31 Jul 2019 15:28:01 EST VXOdpzl8 No.406319 Reply
I mean if you were truly somehow wrong about your gender identity that's one thing, but a lot of these people ITT are de-transitioning for really stupid reasons. They couldn't take the heat, they drank right-wing koolaid, they decided there's some grand conspiracy to turn people trans, that porn 'turned" them trans, that any outside force in general has the ability to "turn" anyone trans as opposed to it simply being an innate biological truth, etc. etc.

All pretty dumb reasons. A lot, but not all, of these post kind of just seem like they were born out of internalized transphobia.
Matilda Fagglebanks - Thu, 01 Aug 2019 15:30:12 EST 7hJCOOod No.406324 Reply
When you bite the /pol/, TERF, and spiritualism shillpills there's no turning back. Usually coupled with an innate misunderstanding of psychology too, which is sadly, more common than any of the three suppositories above.
John Noddlesatch - Mon, 26 Aug 2019 01:04:18 EST ereUc6B6 No.406484 Reply
it's almost as if transitioning isn't right for everyone.
>starts transitioning
>mental issues get worse
>you must be some sort of right winger
fuck off retard
Shit Sudgesudging - Tue, 27 Aug 2019 08:36:49 EST VXOdpzl8 No.406496 Reply
>I mean if you were truly somehow wrong about your gender identity
>I mean if you were truly somehow wrong about your gender identity
>I mean if you were truly somehow wrong about your gender identity

>I mean if you were truly somehow wrong about your gender identity

>I mean if you were truly somehow wrong about your gender identity

>I mean if you were truly somehow wrong about your gender identity

Nigel Sallyridge - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 12:58:22 EST CjJ9O05i No.406528 Reply
You don't need to transition to be trans. That's been known for... centuries.
Hedda Medgeville - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 14:37:33 EST VXOdpzl8 No.406529 Reply
never said that specifically but i can see where i might've accidentally implied that, but i'm not talking about those people, i'm talking about a specific group of people but i did paint with too broad a brush, my point got lost on sloppy language
Nigel Sallyridge - Wed, 28 Aug 2019 15:15:13 EST CjJ9O05i No.406530 Reply
It's ok. We're in this together. Dysphoria isn't always deal with best by transition, especially in non western countries and less accepting families.

I don't know what makes a person trans but it's not always dysphoria it's sometimes some sort of social pressures. I honestly don't want to gatekeep, you. an bs trans if you want to be, I'll help if I can, know what I mean?
Ernest Gimmerbudge - Mon, 02 Sep 2019 06:14:57 EST VXOdpzl8 No.406542 Reply
I agree but I think some people in the community go too far with this and give people the false impression that if you've ever once thought you might want to be a girl you're probably trans, which is categorically not true and potentially ruins lives. When I still went on jerkcircle TRAA was the worst doing this

>We are ALL trans on this blessed day :)

Honestly though I think that with both gender identity and sexual orientation there isn't one single cause and people could experience both radically differently from one and other without even knowing it. Like, how do people just not know they're gay until they're a young adult? Did they just never fuck? I'm attracted to any gender so I don't know what it's like to be strictly for one or the other, but I started to be attracted to guys a few years after puberty. Not only that, how do some people not realize they're trans until they're in their 40's or older? I felt really stupid having not put it together before I was 19 or so, but I was deeply repressed and I didn't want to pay attention to the clear indicators. In terms of brain structure and behavior is a trans lesbian closer to a cis lesbian or a cishet guy? For the longest time I kind of wanted specifically to be a non-passing FtM but I don't like being called he so I probably would've gone with they, but why did want this specifically? Wouldn't that just be being a guy which I was?
Samuel Claygold - Tue, 03 Sep 2019 02:45:28 EST 8LUYy4HT No.406549 Reply


Oh noes my skull is too big, I'll just never go outside again
Archie Himbleson - Tue, 03 Sep 2019 19:32:22 EST VXOdpzl8 No.406550 Reply

also holy shit your id was so close to having SLUT in it what a shame
Archie Himbleson - Tue, 03 Sep 2019 19:32:51 EST VXOdpzl8 No.406551 Reply
shit nvm i'm blind cause i'm on a lot of drugs rn, still wouldve been funny

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