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Coming out to the world.

- Mon, 13 Jan 2020 21:30:57 EST wh5oOOVd No.406890
File: 1578969057341.jpg -(108819B / 106.27KB, 985x1048) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Coming out to the world.
I'm thinking about dressing as a girl this Thursday on my way to my psychiatrist appointment in Cathedral City. I was once told here to listen to my higher self and I cannot help but shake this feeling that I just have to take that plunge. Everyone keeps telling me to do it. Saying that I should since that's me. I'm crippled by fright and afraid something bad might happen to me. But you know what. I feel like I have to do this.

I've been on estrogen and spironolactone for a year or so now. When given a makeover they thought I was actually really pretty. Maybe I'm making this out to be a larger deal than it is even though the threat and dangers of getting clocked are real. Especially where I reside. There is, however, a part of them that feels like I have to throw caution to the wind and enter the world as who I am.

Does anyone have any stories or advice about their first time coming out to the world and dressing according to their identified gender?

I feel scared shitless and yet it feels like if I don't do this then I may never progress or grow as a human being. Help me. :-(
Fuck Blythewell - Mon, 13 Jan 2020 23:53:31 EST ziH7wZAF No.406892 Reply
do it bb. i believe in you. just act natural!

It is a big deal, and there are dangers out there, but it sounds like you want to take on these challenges and like it'l be worth it to you! youre just scared, which is natural. youre doing ok. dress however you want!

luck to you
Hedda Femmerham - Tue, 14 Jan 2020 04:13:25 EST iCSei49V No.406893 Reply
1578993205838.png -(1602276B / 1.53MB, 1666x770) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
I think you're really great for thinking about doing this. I remember being terrified to socially transition when I was younger. I only did it because I basically hit bottom.

My only advice is to wear what really, really makes you feel good about yourself. Something that is so nice-looking and so comfortable that you start off glowing before you even see anyone. Then people can be in awe of how much you blossom when you're doing what's best for you--and if someone's going to be unkind to you or act like something is wrong, they'll have to fight both your good mood and what's clearly right in front of them (a happy human being not hurting anyone) just to be a shit.

Coming out for me was hard, but not as hard as I thought. Then again, it was 2005 and I was 14 years old. I have a few funny responses to share, I guess, both about people I had only known in early childhood.
>I'm FTM
>girl was basically my Pokemon trainer rival in elementary school, two little spitfires that fought all the time
>hadn't seen her since
>see her in high school on the first day
>"Oh my god! Is that __!"
>Instantly cringe thinking she's about to say some shit
>"You got HOT, holy shit! This is a good look for you!"
>instant friends

>other kid I got into scuffles with a lot
>we got sent to the principal's office once
>ashamed to say I pulled a "he started it" with tears and being the boy, he gets disciplined for hitting girls and I get sent out to play
>see him in high school for the first time since elementary school
>"You asshole; you're a guy? I can't fucking believe you!"

Anyway, both of them ended up better with my name and pronouns than half the people who'd only met me with male ones. Weird, but nice.
Cyril Pesslestut - Tue, 14 Jan 2020 04:21:25 EST L2rsm+V9 No.406894 Reply
DON'T DEW IT BRO, people have been doxxed and ruined on the web for doing less, but if you don't have a job or are freelance I probably wouldn't worry about it (you might get less business thought depending how people feel about it.)
Barnaby Crebblegold - Tue, 14 Jan 2020 18:22:26 EST 9fzKvu8S No.406895 Reply
That's very brave of you tbh, I don't dress in public or present at all. From what I've seen most people don't care much and mind their own business, but some people will sarcastically catcall if you're in a worse area or late at night when people are drunk. However, I live in a pretty "progressive" area, so take that with a grain of salt, I have no idea how things are where you live.
Wesley Grandson - Wed, 15 Jan 2020 02:34:24 EST wh5oOOVd No.406898 Reply
My area is pretty conversative so I suppose that makes this double brave. However, there is someone at the Center in Cathedral City who comes from Yucca Valley which is as far as I know even more conversative. Fortunately for me, I know another trans woman and there is also another who comes to the Center from a neighboring city. I'm thinking I'm still exaggerating things but something in my gut is telling me that it's time. I don't know if it's my higher self or what, but I think it's time.
Thomas Tootbanks - Thu, 16 Jan 2020 19:34:23 EST TMombCD5 No.406902 Reply
I did it. I went out. Sort of ended up with a gender neutral outfit though. Most people just sort of minded their own business. A few gave a couple of looks but they didn’t really care too much. There was this young boy who sort of gave me a nod and a smile to which I’m not too sure how to interrupt. Not sure if mocking, supportive, or even flirty. I hope this gets easier once I know how too dress appropriately and apply makeup.
Cedric Brorringmere - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 02:09:01 EST ziH7wZAF No.406909 Reply
awesome! youll get more adept at dressing and stuff over time. :)
Phineas Sommlewill - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 02:35:54 EST g/Bx05E8 No.406910 Reply
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Yay, good for you!

>There was this young boy who sort of gave me a nod and a smile to which I’m not too sure how to interrupt. Not sure if mocking, supportive, or even flirty.

Just so you know, I used to smile at trans girls (in a way that was hopefully not leering or drawing attention to them) and it was just because I was happy to see another trans person. Sadly, they'd obviously think I was cis and then would immediately look nervous. You really never know with people. Maybe he's trans, maybe his sister is trans.
Jenny Crobberchuck - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 21:26:47 EST LKzeRb2X No.406911 Reply
I'm doing a sort of exposure therapy where I present closer and closer to how I want to in increasingly more intimate (socially not sexually) environments.

I started with just walking outside wearing something vaguely feminine, not where other people are but along a sidewalk along a street, walking against traffic. This terrified me at first but then I realized nothing any of the people in the cars think about me matters and also it's much easier to pass when people are driving by you at 45mph

Not recommending necessarily because you could become dependent, but sometimes anxiolytics help you make certain leaps, because on them it's easier to present closer to how you want to and off of them the cats already out of the bag so why not, but if you get too crazy with it you could end up setting yourself back

Start low, go slow

had to stop doing that until it was obvious what i was for that exact reason lol
Albert Croddlekotch - Sat, 18 Jan 2020 23:03:57 EST wh5oOOVd No.406913 Reply
I wish I knew how to tuck. It shouldn't be hard for me to do since I actually have quite a small thingy down there. I did some reading and they said a gaff or tight underwear can hold a tuck in place but I don't know what exactly I need to buy. Can someone give me some recommendations?
Jenny Crobberchuck - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 02:35:01 EST LKzeRb2X No.406915 Reply
you can use athletic tape, it's pretty easy if you don't have a lot going on, push up on the balls and they rescind into your body like they do when you're really cold and then depending on how long your dick is determines what you do with personally i can just push it in to the point it's flush

it's great cause have zero desire to ever use it or even see it, but it is remarkably small, if i were a guy i'd probably be a /r/smalldickproblems poster
Albert Croddlekotch - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 11:49:55 EST wh5oOOVd No.406916 Reply
How do you pee with a tuck though? And I'm afraid of tape since I'm not sure how to shave down there.
Albert Croddlekotch - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 13:43:59 EST wh5oOOVd No.406918 Reply
When I was in boy mode I used to wear thick framed glasses and a fedora. Now as a girl I am thinking that hipster/tomboy look suits me. Is this some irony? Why does the tomboy look actually good on me?
Jenny Crobberchuck - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 17:30:23 EST LKzeRb2X No.406919 Reply
i don't know i don't think that's possible

also shaving isn't hard at all, i mean if you've never done it in your life you might want to use trimmers or scissors to get things short enough to use a razor but if you use enough shaving cream there's virtually 0 chance of nicking something or otherwise causing damage

also yeah you shouldn't really want to change radically as a person just to conform to what people generally think of as girly, whatever clothes you wear are girl clothes because a girl is wearing them, rather than try to change your entire wardrobe/personality i think you should shoot for just integrating new things as you become more comfortable with them, in terms of clothes and everything else

personally i like problem glasses and dyed hair but the fedora thing is gonna be a no from me dog, i don't think it's possible for anyone of any gender to pull that off in the year of our lord 2020 but you do you
James Givingwell - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 19:15:04 EST wh5oOOVd No.406920 Reply
What's wrong with a guy wearing a fedora?

My brother used to wear one before switching to a porkpie hat and he's a buff mfer.
James Givingwell - Mon, 20 Jan 2020 16:07:22 EST wh5oOOVd No.406923 Reply
I feel like a fucking retard who doesn't know how to buy a fucking gaff. What do I need to look for?!!!!!!!
Sophie Honderwater - Thu, 23 Jan 2020 20:42:24 EST V3dz0V9j No.406938 Reply
Why do I find myself becoming more and more spiritual? Is this something to do with my transition?
William Pongerfick - Fri, 24 Jan 2020 02:43:15 EST g/Bx05E8 No.406939 Reply
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It's kind of a crazy experience, being trans. There's so much about masculinity and femininity, maleness and femaleness, in spirituality and religion, and they're supposedly these immutable qualities that are like polar opposites. Collective unconscious shit, universal archetypes, blah blah blah.

Traveling through all that, or bailing on it entirely if you're NB, is pretty powerful stuff. And knowing something about yourself that nobody can see and only you believe in, then manifesting to the point where it's just reality to everyone, is also pretty powerful.

Rolling eyes at myself right now. Hopefully you know what I mean.
Phoebe Worthinglock - Sat, 25 Jan 2020 05:31:17 EST LKzeRb2X No.406949 Reply
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everyone has equal amounts of both the masculine and feminine intrinsically, but we tend to find one or the other that we more closely identify with or which is more familiar. Most people are fortunate enough to be born with the physical already congruent with the mental and spiritual, but alternative isn't shameful or abhorrent, just a variation of the human experience that we interpret differently across different cultures and times
Esther Turveyshit - Sun, 26 Jan 2020 01:37:08 EST ziH7wZAF No.406954 Reply
never thought id read such insightful shit on a chan board lol. am having a tough time grappling w my transition today and is reassuring to read that im not a fuckin freak for wanting to change my appearance.
Augustus Burryhetch - Sun, 26 Jan 2020 03:12:38 EST g/Bx05E8 No.406955 Reply
1580026358363.png -(1096012B / 1.05MB, 1767x3000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>a fuckin freak
Oh :( I'm well-acquainted with this feeling, though not frequently, at this late date in my transition. But here:

"If normal just means within a common statistical range then there is no reason to be normal or not. By that standard, we might say that it is normal to have health problems, bad breath, and outstanding debt...[the statistics] say nothing about the desirability of the things themselves. It is not normal to be a genius, die a virgin, or be well endowed. That, again, tells us nothing about what one should want."

-The Trouble With Normal by Michael Warner

"Try this: imagine the world as a place where anyone can safely and even joyfully express themselves the way they've always wanted to. Nothing about the bodies they were born with or what they choose to do with those bodies--how they dress them, or decorate, or trim, or augment them--would get people laughed at, or targeted, or in any way deprived of their rights. Can you imagine a world like that?

Stay with that image a moment and envision yourself as the kind of person who lives happily and contentedly in that world..."

"And I can tell you this with certainty: You are worthy and capable of finding a way to live your life just the way you really are. And there are plenty of good people in the world who believe that a life like yours needs to be lived. "

-Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide by Kate Bornstein

TL;DR of course you're not a freak, not in the ugly sense you mean. You're probably doing something unusual, but that's not a value-laden thing and it doesn't mean you're bad or wrong or gross. It's just unusual.

pic related, a cute mutant
Charlotte Divingville - Mon, 27 Jan 2020 13:21:41 EST UkaIPaYL No.406960 Reply
That image sounds like the motivation behind the Spanish language.
Emma Farryforth - Tue, 28 Jan 2020 03:28:54 EST LKzeRb2X No.406963 Reply
This isn't really helpful at all but i honestly had a pretty big breakthrough in terms of this sort of thing doing some ket just now and then working through these thought experiments in my head

Lot of them being dissociated i can't put them in words, a big one though was reflecting on the fact I have genuinely no idea what it's like to be a cis guy, i only know whar it's like to be forced to pretend to be one as a trans woman. So now I for some reason I can feel what ive known logically for a while now which is that the baseline level of hatred i take it for granted most people feel towards me is me projecting my old self-hatred.

Lot of othet stuff I can't explain, that doesnt really do it justice, just an example
foxy green - Tue, 28 Jan 2020 22:57:50 EST lWE7sWsd No.406966 Reply
1580270270155.jpg -(53750B / 52.49KB, 640x564) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Did it in privacy of my own and with partners for kinky purposes. Was planning to go out of town to visit my good friend in neighboring city after my relationship ended and I lost my job.

Ended up going for a smoke outside my apartment at like 2am on a week night in a wig and frilly tutu with tights I think. Really ratchet dollar store getup but spent some time make it primped and... consistent at least.

Absolutely terrifying since I lived down town and there are gang kids everywhere harassing everybody. I just want to have my smoke and not be seen... so vulnerable.

I end up seeing guy I barely know from down the hall in my building, some investments bro. I was not really into guys at all at the time, just being femme. We chat while smoking in front of building and it's mortifying yet better. Less risk of being fucked with, more validation at having a normal social interaction and not being looked at TOO weirdly cause this person hardly knows me.

It's super empowering at this point. I end up hanging out with the guy and doing some shitty blow and playing counterstrike in this outfit. I feel like we both were into fooling around but it was platonic and I took off a few days later.

Got on the train to visit my friend dressed as a sort of andro punky girl with a party wig and some ripped black tights. Ended up way overstaying in that city which turned into me just living there, getting my stuff like 6 weeks later and falling in love with, doing tons of weird drugs with, and moving in with said friend. I never stopped dressing femme.

I am red blooded a woman now and I work, and do all normal activities as what I was to grow into - a trans chick. Just a chick, actually. Hormones came later and I was never more ready for anything.

OP are you self medicating? It sounds like some legitimacy would do a lot for your health and non-gender related aspirations.

Shit sorry what was the question?
Cedric Dremmlefuck - Thu, 30 Jan 2020 12:12:29 EST 73y8IEQY No.406974 Reply
I’ve been on HRT under doctor supervision and recently switched to Dr. Anthony Velasco at the Desert AIDS Project in Palm Springs. I’m also having laser hair removal done currently at the Transgender Health and Wellness Center in Cathedral City. I’m fortunate that my insurance covers near everything that could ever be needed for transitioning.
foxy green - Mon, 10 Feb 2020 13:50:44 EST lWE7sWsd No.406998 Reply

Excellent. I'm Canadian and it's all covered but takes a while to be taken seriously and given treatment. Damn that laser shit hurts.
Sidney Duckfoot - Fri, 14 Feb 2020 11:49:55 EST wh5oOOVd No.407021 Reply
They prescribe me a cream that numbs my face. I don't really feel a thing when they do my laser. You're not getting prescribed such?

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