Leave these fields empty (spam trap):
Name
You can leave this blank to post anonymously, or you can create a Tripcode by using the format Name#Password
Comment
[i]Italic Text[/i]
[b]Bold Text[/b]
[spoiler]Spoiler Text[/spoiler]
>Highlight/Quote Text
[pre]Preformatted & Monospace Text[/pre]
[super]Superset Text[/super]
[sub]Subset Text[/sub]
1. Numbered lists become ordered lists
* Bulleted lists become unordered lists
File

Sandwich


Endstage oldfag tranners

Reply
- Mon, 18 May 2020 17:27:16 EST TYSujzJw No.407327
File: 1589837236734.jpg -(395564B / 386.29KB, 1200x654) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Endstage oldfag tranners
Who here is end stage? As in stealth, or fully transitioned, or living your life satisfied with what you've done?

I'm on year 10 of hrt. Living as a normal woman for ages.

Hows your life going? How are you doing? Do you have much contact with the trans community? Do you want contact with other late stage tranners?
>>
Fucking Wumblegold - Tue, 19 May 2020 09:24:38 EST eYssy9wX No.407330 Reply
1589894678538.png -(61149B / 59.72KB, 800x395) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
> end stage
sorry yall, i have stage 4 tran. it's terminal.
>>
Edwin Clonkinham - Wed, 20 May 2020 01:38:31 EST esceOkl4 No.407333 Reply
>>407332
DON'T CLICK, IT'S RANSOMWARE!
>>
Walter Sittinglidge - Thu, 21 May 2020 03:26:42 EST LKzeRb2X No.407334 Reply
>>407333
I'm sorry if this means you fell for it, they can be tricky sometimes
>>
Martin Bunwill - Wed, 27 May 2020 17:10:32 EST jL8Mcqc1 No.407346 Reply
I wasn't a tripfag but retrans and detrans multiple times over the years, to be fair I never identified as female. I feel like if I was born a little later I would have stayed on her due to less gatekeeping and adopted the femboy or nonbinary label.

I wish I hadn't been such an idiot when I was young.
>>
Sophie Fanningworth - Fri, 12 Jun 2020 19:01:09 EST rEM5UW+1 No.407369 Reply
Life's good. Moved to a new state, live with my BF now. Nobody knows I'm trans except a couple professors who I got real with.

I'm like... 5 years in ? 6? Had ffs, but that's it.

I avoid the trans community like the plague except for a discord Ive been in since way early on. Cool people in there.

Life's actually really sweet. Feel good about myself most of the time, doing pretty alright in Uni, and I'm loved, which is sweet. Passing helps a lot with general QOL. Would be way harder if I didn't.
>>
David Bishlun - Fri, 12 Jun 2020 19:15:59 EST MedHU5Rt No.407373 Reply
10 years in. Only really talk to a few trans people who have all been transed for 5+ years. Stealth except them. Post-SRS, post-FFS for years now. Cannot remember how many years it has been since I have been called Sir or He by anybody and I haven't lived in a "woke" area for a lot of the last several years.
>>
Cyril Wottingpodging - Fri, 12 Jun 2020 20:46:16 EST LKzeRb2X No.407375 Reply
>>407369
>I avoid the trans community like the plague

How come? I don't really see a reason to do this. I used to, but I started to think that my distaste for the culture came entirely from how I was brought up and the clique of bitter, hateful misanthropes I survived school with. At this point I don't feel like there's a reason not embrace most of it. The voice in the back of my head constantly saying it's cringey and bad and everyone hates it is the voice of a loser who I don't want to listen to anymore. I don't think people necessarily have to pick sides but having a group of people where there's guaranteed to be a base level of understanding and acceptance I think is really invaluable going through this process. Despite reservations, I came to the conclusion there was so little redeeming about my past that I saw no reason not to just completely rip it up and start again. I guess I figured I'd have a much easier time getting used to using the word queer unironically and saying "they" than getting the bigoted computer touchers I used to hang out with to accept me for who I am and treat me like an actual human being.

Obviously you seem pretty secure and happy with your life and I'm happy for you. I don't think you need to agree with me either way everyone was brought up differently, you might not have the baggage associated with it that I do or maybe you do and you have a different way of dealing with it. I was just throwing this out there not trying to lecture you or convince you specifically with it, it's just I feel like I was stuck in a prison not many people have a chance to get out of.
>>
Clara Girrywadge - Thu, 18 Jun 2020 19:43:14 EST Oc36Wdvo No.407381 Reply
>>407375
I think they’re just afraid of being critique. I know a few of my trans friends are always quick to point out what needs to improved in order to pass while my cis friends tend to accept my flaws and all along with my gender identity. This is true if they go to /lgbt/.
>>
Fucking Dripperpedging - Sat, 20 Jun 2020 01:09:10 EST b/o0q9L9 No.407383 Reply
>>407381
Y'all got some unsupportive friends. I think my trans friends would be honest with me about my appearance if I asked while trying not to hurt my feelings or make me overly self-conscious.
>>
John Hibberdale - Mon, 22 Jun 2020 05:01:01 EST eYssy9wX No.407385 Reply
i dunno, i'm pretty sure i'm "fully transitioned", i had an orchi like a decade ago and i kinda uhh stopped taking hormones mostly. Not looking for ffs or srs or anything. i pass well enough when i put even a modicum of effort in. I still look like a dyke when i do. When i "don't pass" people strangely mistakenly assume i'm ftm often?? i'm an angry tankie meme now and i'm ok with that. I have like a single token straight cis girl friend and only because we used to date, but all my friends are trans or like visibly queer.

I've stopped shaving my beard now in the pandemic. I've had laser but it still grows patchy chinfuzz now. Masks are a trip; i'm not used to being able to get a ma'am without the whole shaving routine.
>>
Samuel Bummershaw - Tue, 23 Jun 2020 02:54:49 EST LKzeRb2X No.407386 Reply
>>407381
The "trans community" outside of shitholes like /lgbt/ is very anti-criticism though, no one I know would DREAM of just out right telling me I don't pass or that I look like a guy, I mean I don't and I do without significant effort, but they wouldn't say it, which is its own problem sometimes, because if I'm on the fence about something with my appearance i get horrified when i realize literally no one would tell me unless it was catastrophically bad

I'm pretty sure that person was talking about communities of younger people who tend to also be very politically active like traa and tumblr and really most support groups on college campuses, there is a completely new generation of very vocal trans people not content with hiding and who feel no obligation to blend in and absolutely will make no concessions to reactionaries and I don't see how that's anything but cool as shit
>>
Ernest Worthingdock - Sat, 27 Jun 2020 17:57:43 EST T9G0jOun No.407388 Reply
>>407327
Been on HRT for ~7 years. As far as I know I've lived full stealth for 5+ years, I was lucky to begin with and had FFS and voice surgery (had a feminine voice before anyway but still felt forced). Had SRS almost 5 years ago, finally going to try to fix my manbutt with surgery since HRT did nothing at all for that (yes I made that other thread about implants). The way I look at it is just as a normal woman with insecurities, not specifically doing trans surgery.

One of my bffs is trans, we helped each other out a lot with the process (I feel like she helped me way more than I helped her), but otherwise I don't really do much with trans community anymore. I just don't care enough about anything to be involved. After SRS I felt like my transition was done and everything else was just vanity, so I stepped away from the actively-transitioning stuff like forums and research. There was just no point.

I still worry that people will suspect. People at work make trans jokes here and there around me and aren't the least bit cautious. But what if they think I look weird and start to piece the puzzle together?

My life is normal including major depression which prevents me from enjoying anything. Insurance makes it hard to keep up with hormones correctly so that could be part of it. I have a full-time salary job, people treat me normally, sometimes I am fine being a slob and going out without makeup. I am hoping after implant surgery I'll have more confidence wearing a swimsuit even if it's with shorts and not full-on bikini.

I haven't seriously dated since transitioning because I'm way out of school, a lesbian, in my 30s now, and demisexual (hard to become instantly interested in someone e.g. through a dating app). That part sucks ass. It's hard to meet the right people. I don't even disclose upfront that I'm trans, and no one has asked so far. Obviously I'd tell them later if we hit it off.
>>
George Fevingpig - Sun, 28 Jun 2020 02:41:45 EST LKzeRb2X No.407389 Reply
>>407388
Every therapist and doctor I've talked to has said VFS in most cases is prohibitively dangerous and that I shouldn't do it. How did it work out for you? I've only recently quit smoking after doing it from 17-23 and I assume that leaves me out of the running for a while at least, but I also have to talk a lot at my job (and in general) and sing as a hobby so I've not really seriously considered risking it.

My voice is not the best and I thought it was going to be my biggest hurdle but after a a few months now of really trying and a year of half-assing it, it's started to at least get very comfortable talking well with-in the female range and it breaks in and out of being realistic, but unless I'm actively looking at the waveform it's hard to hold it there, because I fall into the vocal fry I've used since coming gay years ago. Which I mean having the affect pretty well ingrained is a double edged sword because all of the voice training stuff I read that said it was all about mannerisms and here's what you do like up-talking and inflecting with pitch instead of volume I already did. My mom, not knowing that this didn't happen, made a comment that my voice was changing so I think that's a good sign.

I've also noticed for years now that I code switch around men I don't know (and my dad lol) and lose the affect almost entirely (from my perspective, people can still tell apparently) and drop a few registers which as a guy helped me not get the shit beat out of me but as a woman will obviously have the exact opposite effect. But it's very, very, very hard to get myself to talk in my real voice around them as strained and fake as it sounds 75% of the time I open my mouth.

Stubble on my face is probably the only tell that I have absolutely no way to deal with until I can afford laser removal which will be a long time from now if insurance doesn't cover it. I've only been on HRT for ~5 months now so obviously I don't really pass but it's going a lot faster than I thought it would, probably because the hormones have a bit more material to work with shifting fat around than for the average trans woman lls, but even that isn't terrible since I've actually lost quite a bit of weight since starting, especially recently now that I all of us sudden feel that insane pressure and I'm kind of over eating as a concept for a while.
>>
Hugh Weddlebury - Sun, 28 Jun 2020 23:24:06 EST GuUkjux6 No.407390 Reply
>>407389
VFS was a totally mixed bag. I went to Spiegel in the US for it because it was about the same cost as Yesson but without the travel.

He somehow overdid it so it affected 2/3 of my vocal cords instead of 1/3. So I'm in the process of working with a local voice specialist who did a revision (slight cut to the webbing created). She thinks I sound good and recommends speech therapy to get whatever else I want out of it (be it singing or doing character voices or something). Her tools seem to show me able to hit a good range of notes and pitches and whatever. It's been a long recovery with some good and some questionable results.

I'd say my practiced voice before was pretty good but maybe too high and squeaky. Now when I ask close friends, they say it sounds good. Coworkers knew I had some kind of throat surgery and couldn't talk for a while but not what exactly, they say it's sounding better and normal to them, they're used to my voice now. So it must not be that far off from how my practiced voice started. Still haven't done any waveform comparison with Spiegel's office.

One thing that seems to happen is if I sing or if I talk too much my voice can get worn out and scratchy/ raspy, which happened before with my practiced voice. I haven't been to too many loud environments where I can really test the limits. My singing isn't very good now. It was great as a man because I could go way too deep. I am hoping it'll just take practice to relearn my instrument, as my doctor puts it.

Overall it feels really good to not have to fake it 24/7. I don't know how people can do that for so many years. To be honest, I think that's where we get gay/ faggy sounding cuties. The effort just isn't worth it, and I wasn't willing to sound like a gay man or teen boy (I was never "gay" but with no male effort my natural voice was on the feminine side).

There's not much danger in the Yesson technique (which Spiegel does too). It partially joins the vocal cords (think going from | | to a Y shape, sewn at the bottom of the Y) instead of cutting and shortening them. The result isn't perfect, but if anything goes super wrong, you can try to have it cut apart again. He'll tell you it's completely reversible, but that's only partially true. It creates scar tissue, so trying to cut it apart means the scar wants to reform. It can work but isn't always successful especially the first time.

I'd definitely recommend looking into it for women with deeper voices. As someone with a higher voice, it still helped me. I can be lazy as hell and just talk. I don't have to feel like I'm choking myself to produce a fake voice anymore. If that's what you want, it could be an option for you.
>>
Graham Norrybure - Mon, 29 Jun 2020 15:41:30 EST LKzeRb2X No.407393 Reply
>>407390
Meh I'm tempted but I still don't think I actually give enough of a shit, at the moment at least. I think it's more of a personal hang up really at this point. I mean I think it's a lot easier in general to use the higher range of the voice I was born with, but I also happen to be comfortable doing that, it's just not quite the default for me yet. Even as a baritone I have a good 2/3rds to half of my range I can use and still be in the technically female range. I dunno if it's all the smoking or what but I actually physically can't even do a falsetto at all, I crack into just nothingness if I try to push much further past A4. Again though, a lot of it is down to mannerisms, and even still the (cis) female voice just has a discernibly different timbre regardless of range.

I can just deal with people knowing really, I kinda came to the conclusion recently that I'll do a lot better to come to terms with that fact than hide in my house waiting for a day that might never come. I think the closer we come to passing, the more outspoken people are in misgendering us. Even now there are (a few) places where you're actually more at risk doing that than being trans. The only threshold I really cared about crossing is the one where there's no way there can possibly be an honest mistake. It would be nice to be able to be stealth but I don't think if I was able to I would be most of the time, because it's an even more powerful statement to be able to pass perfectly and still be out. It would just be useful in some scenarios in a safety/survival sense, like it would be nice to be able to stop at a gas station and go to the bathroom on a road trip without having to find a bigger city or to go out alone and have any degree of confidence.

It's not your or anyone else's responsibility to do that though and you're right to do whatever you feel comfortable with. I'm not one of those people who says it's bad to even try to pass at all. Most people don't want to and should have to have their very existence be a political statement. I had already started to accept being different in this sort of way as a teenager, so I'd imagine it's a lot different for people who haven't. Or can't. Being real it must be a lot harder for trans women who aren't straight as an arrow to be open about it given the default assumption by most cishet people that's it just an advanced form of gayness. What I'm running from is the opposite stereotype that somehow concurrently exists that we're apex predators using this as a disguise to get close enough to women so we can ambush them when they least expect it. I think transbians objectively have it worse. Almost like these things... intersect or something.
>>
Reuben Sinkinwater - Tue, 30 Jun 2020 04:05:45 EST 16q9TR54 No.407394 Reply
I used to post here a lot ages ago, but then I went stealth and tried to take distance to anything trans. Recently came back to the transcommunity after a acid trip and realizing that all my internalized transphobia was making me mad depressed :(

Ive been FT and on HRT for 8 yrs, post BA and Orchi, still saving for SRS and FFS

>Hows your life going?
Id say rather great, I have just finished Uni and I might start working as a teacher depending on how my interview went
>How are you doing?
Physically, never better. Ive spent the corona quarantine to working out and loosing weight (-20kg). Mentally, a bit stressed out, me and my ltr parter (7yrs) have decided to end things due to both of use wanting different things and kinda growing apart
>Do you have much contact with the trans community?
Barely any, I started going to local transmeeting before the corona, but yeaaaah that aint happening for a while
>Do you want contact with other late stage tranners?
Yeah I honestly kinda do
>>
Eliza Grimford - Tue, 30 Jun 2020 08:24:59 EST WQCIUv3D No.407395 Reply
>>407393
The "it's just big gay" stereotype is by far the more gracious of the two main ones with the other being that we're straight male buffalo bill type perverts, I would rather people think i was just a confused gay man.
>>
Charles Hunnerwet - Tue, 30 Jun 2020 20:00:59 EST t1hLQCHo No.407396 Reply
Pretty good. Been stealth for 5y+, hrt 8y+. Pass effortlessly. I sometimes do modeling. I kept my secret from my bf for 6 months before I told him. We've been together for 3y now.

The only issue I'm dealing with is that I'm too tight for my bf. I'm hoping a small surgery will fix this.

I used to visit 420 along with 7 and 99 in my late teenage years for info about online pharmacies. I'm glad this board is still around, but I won't be staying.
>>
Jenny Chinkinhore - Thu, 02 Jul 2020 08:25:43 EST +3IBuC1V No.407398 Reply
Doing pretty good. had my 10 year hrt in June. no surgeries, pass, semi-stealth (its not that i dont talk about it, it just never comes up?). Pretty satisfied, i mean not being cis and unable to have babies kind of fucks with me a lot. especially when people my age seem to be dropping kids like its nothing and all the men my age want to have kids its yeah. as i said it still fucks with me a lot. Just gotta deal.


Im not active in the trans community, That was something i kind of learnt my lesson from here, the more involved i got in a trans community the less time i spent doing productive things to actually life a fulfilling life. I found it more fulfilling to hang around people whom i share actual interests with instead of our mutual ailments.
>>
Jade - Mon, 06 Jul 2020 01:21:00 EST wkuRiknw No.407400 Reply
>>407327

I have been on HRT for 10+ years (30 y/o now) and as I am aging, I am definitely changing as a person. I used to be more on the "I'm a woman stuck in a man's body" side of the tg ideology spectrum, but I'm now more comfortable being a man that appears as a woman. (trap/trans identifying rather than female) I feel great in that space and love the peace that has invited into my life.

I am married to a wonderful man, have trained my voice to sing/speak in the female range (even when half asleep), had laser hair removal on my face, and live stealth (visually) in many spaces. I would love to have more friends that have transitioned, but ideologically many of them differ far to greatly.

Reason I went on about my beliefs is that I was horribly tortured in the headspace of "I am something I am physically not". When I accepted reality (in my experience) and felt as part of the male existence as a tg person, it brought great peace to me. I noticed MANY Trans people have different ideas of their place in this world, and I completely support all of your own realities; this is me just sharing mine. :)

Also, I used to post here all the time, so there may be some lurkers here that remember me. :)
>>
Oliver Duckbury - Mon, 06 Jul 2020 17:21:28 EST LKzeRb2X No.407401 Reply
1594070488083.png -(1306747B / 1.25MB, 1080x2488) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>407400
i mean gender as opposed to sex is just the desire to do exactly what you're doing, that's the only barrier to entry, it doesn't make sense to say that it's a denial of reality, it's a term defined in observation of a natural phenomenon, some cultures have spaces for 3 distinct genders, others for 5

gender isn't a thing you are, it's a thing you do

but i mean you do you, whatever you're happy with is fine, but you're kind of stuck between two world views and to me it would be very dissonant, what pronouns do you use if you don't mind me asking?

I'm seriously not trying to tear down the worldview that makes you comfortable with your existence, I'm just trying to understand how one comes to that conclusion.

>but ideologically many of them differ far to greatly

I mean there's probably a reason for that, I don't really understand how people get in this position in the first place, to me there's no point in not taking the plunge. I used to be pretty reactionary but over time I saw "hey, here's a group of people who are saying I am and accepting me as what I've wanted to be since I was kid and they're explaining why I feel that way and telling me that it's okay and valid" and then I sort of realized most people my age feel that way and I would be in the minority against my own interests. It didn't make sense. Maybe it's an age thing.

I mean regardless of what anyone thinks it's the way society is going anyway, kids are being brought up to day in a way that this isn't even seen as a contentious issue, it's totally normal to them that there's a difference between sex and gender and most things we associate with sex are actually associated with gender and thought they're strongly correlated it's possible to have a gender identity that differs from biological sex.

In all honesty though I'm kind of a special case since I was partially androgen insensitive to begin with and just assigned male because visually I was plenty close enough. I didn't even find out formally until I pursued transitioning in my late teens, although I remember doctors telling me weird things as a kid like that "there are boy and girl potions and sometimes boys don't get enough of the boy one or too much of the girl one" and bizarre feelings like being terrified I was going to wake up one day as a girl (which to a 5 year old trying to be a boy and feeling like I was failing was pretty upsetting). My mom thought I was going to be (born as) a girl until I was after multiple tests saying that there was no evidence I would be male, which wasn't the case with my brother. Despite being identifiable as male (prior to starting to transition, I think that's starting to change but probably only to me and people who accept me as female, because that changes your perception of someone, makes you more likely to pick out female traits and ignore male ones) I've always had some female traits like no Adam's apple, fairly narrow shoulders, very pronounced gynecomastia and hypogonadism, low T, etc.

The issue in my mind is that it's impossible to determine what feelings were coming from being technically intersex and if I'm technically trans at all, I think it's possible to be both but I don't think anyone really knows. On a political level people solely see me as someone born "male" (which even sex is a bimodal not a binary, sex arises from a very complex process that's merely kicked off by chromosomes, not determined by them) who goes on to identify as female and my rights are restricted as such.

If anything, I have a much better "case" than trans women born solidly in the male range of biological sex, but from my experience I see the whole idea that one has to justify that they're a man, woman, or non-binary as patently ridiculous and deeply problematic. Whether or not I have the luxury of having the piece of the puzzle I do, it doesn't make me any more valid than a trans lesbian who transitions at 45, despite the fact that to a lot of people it absolutely does. We don't yet know the biological origins of gender identity, but if it's anything like homosexuality it could be very strongly correlated to biology even to the point of being considered and interesex condition, but again it doesn't have to be and on an individual level no one is going to have complex analysis to determine their brain structure, hormone levels, etc. to determine if they're "really" trans, there is not and should not be any barrier to entry.

I mean sure I could've just let your post stand so on some level this is obviously just cope on my end but it's what I firmly believe and as far as I can tell it's what most people who are informed on the issue believe and the idea that public consciousness is very quickly coming to
>>
Jade - Tue, 07 Jul 2020 03:26:32 EST wkuRiknw No.407404 Reply
>>407401

With all due respect, I reject the statement that "most people who are informed on the issue believe" what you believe. I do not have that experience nor have my readings echoed that.

My worldview did not manifest as a result of ignorance on the subject or lack of exposure to opposing ideologies. I understand your specific case presents a plethora of questions that need careful consideration and discussion, but unfortunately that is a very separate issue from trans people without these specific medical conditions that bring the idea of their sex into question.

To answer your question, I am comfortable with whatever pronoun I am given upon a conversation and feel no need to correct. I believe that the idea of sex proclamations in normal conversation is ridiculous and outdated. 99% of the time, I am "she/her/hers" in my interactions. As long as I am spoken to with respect, I have no problem with he/she/they.

I understand that gender expression is fluid and not walled in by sex; however, a personality trait is not a gender. A large number of trans individuals I've met, particularly the politically active ones, tend to be adamant about "my penis is a female penis" and "my biology IS female biology" and that is just simply rubbish, in my opinion. Those type of extremists turned me off from the mainstream trans movement.
>>
Doris Hazzleputch - Tue, 07 Jul 2020 04:49:38 EST 7hJCOOod No.407405 Reply
>>407404
Fitting for someone who hides behind a thin veil of self-acceptance to be turned off by anybody else who wants the very thing. Respectfully, shove it up your ass.
>>
Graham Trotspear - Tue, 07 Jul 2020 12:19:22 EST o3GbARwD No.407407 Reply
>>407388 what was voice surgery like? How much did it cost, etc?
>>
Lydia Bobbleshit - Tue, 07 Jul 2020 18:09:09 EST LKzeRb2X No.407409 Reply
1594159749661.jpg -(4525210B / 4.32MB, 5811x5517) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>407404
Man this is what a staggering amount of deeply ingrained internalized transphobia looks like. I'm really glad my generation doesn't have to deal with as much of this shit, in spite of people like you. If think you think there's even a sizable minority with-in our community who identify as "trans identified men" you are fucking delusional.

You people all say the same things over and over again, it's really frustrating, there aren't ever going to be any new arguments of any substance because it's been beat to death and you're at an ideological dead end. The phrase "sex proclamations" is a new one for me and it's fucking amazing lls

Presented for your delectation miss. You're valid whether you want to be or not :)

This is a wide net. Just ignore the bits you pick and choose to believe from the same people telling you the things you don't.
>>
George Blunderwill - Mon, 13 Jul 2020 06:04:45 EST g/Bx05E8 No.407420 Reply
>>407409
>You people all say the same things over and over again
>in spite of people like you
You know...I'm glad that Gen Z is better-informed and on average nicer than all previous, and I don't have the same worldview as the lady you're responding to.

but it was pretty hard realizing you were trans and coming out and transitioning even 10-20 years ago. It's not great now, but before the media coverage spike and literally anyone talking about it, it was pretty hard. I think we really did the best we could. I also do not think transphobia levels are a result of older trans people who espouse dumb ideas. Cis people created this situation, not us, and they've been thinking dumb things and disrespecting us with no extra help for a long time. I try to keep this in mind when I talk to a trans person who is older than me (like came out in the 70s and 80s shit) and they say something that seems wack but is obviously not meant to be mean.

*rattles walker* sounding very much like Kids These Days but whatever
hopefully you understand where I'm coming from. It's sad to think the Kids These Days have contempt for you and think you're ignorant when you had to fight tooth and nail just to exist nawmean
>>
George Blunderwill - Mon, 13 Jul 2020 06:32:19 EST g/Bx05E8 No.407421 Reply
>>407404
>I believe that the idea of sex proclamations in normal conversation is ridiculous and outdated
Asking for pronouns in conversation is just an act of common courtesy to people. Some people have struggled very hard just to be seen as they are, and every time someone screws up their pronoun it reminds them of times they have been hurt, and intentionally using the wrong one is an act of disrespect in and of itself. It's like intentionally mispronouncing someone's name just to be a shit.

I mostly hear "I'd be fine with any pronoun!" from cis people attempting to argue with trans people's needs, but among people who have had their identity in question, I would say it's much more common for people to have s strong preference. If it doesn't trouble you to use anything, that's fine, but we set up good social practices to accommodate for everyone. And it really doesn't take very long. Seconds.

>the politically active ones, tend to be adamant about "my penis is a female penis" ..Those type of extremists turned me off from the mainstream trans movement.
I mean, it actually makes less sense for someone who identifies as a woman and functions as a woman in everyday life (either by passing or by being identified as transfemme) to have a male penis. It's a penis which is located on a woman. It's not much more complicated than that. I had sex dysphoria, so my body parts felt wrong, but I have to admit that they were at least mine. It wasn't the breasts of some female version or me, or some random woman. They were breasts attached to a man.

Anyway, I don't know if there is even is a mainstream trans movement so much as a bunch of trans people in existence and some views which reach the cis majority's consciousness as representative (which may or may not be). when I poll other trans people about things I find a much greater plurality of views than someone else might expect.
>>
Isabella Hurrystedge - Mon, 13 Jul 2020 15:03:17 EST 31r/BKcO No.407422 Reply
>>407409
>Just ignore the bits you pick and choose to believe from the same people telling you the things you don't.

Ive always loved that some people who pride themselves on their logic and reason and how they "fucking love science" falter immediately at literally the first thing that science tells them that they didn't already believe, everything that's at the bleeding edge of science now they'll reject just like the majority of people did in the past towards all the radical ideas they make fun of people for not believing
>>
Isabella Hurrystedge - Mon, 13 Jul 2020 15:10:03 EST 31r/BKcO No.407423 Reply
>>407420
How does the fact she had it harder than younger trans people do now excuse her egregious transphobia? It sucks, it really sucks for her to live like that, and it's way more bewildering and upsetting than the same shit coming from a TERF, but not really any less damaging or inexcusable
>>
Angus Dibblehood - Tue, 14 Jul 2020 05:19:50 EST g/Bx05E8 No.407424 Reply
>>407423
Because a TERF is cis and has more social power. Trans people didn't create the system they're in; they're reacting to it. And in the case of older trans people, they formed most of their outlook under great duress.
>>
Nathaniel Sendlefot - Mon, 27 Jul 2020 10:35:18 EST LKzeRb2X No.407470 Reply
>>407424
that still doesn't excuse it and anything more than a detached explanation of why minorities hate themselves is going too far to do so, self-hatred is still hatred, I used to have so much i didn't even realize i had, it doesn't matter if you think "oh I[/b\] don't feel this way, i just know that most other people do, and that's what's making me feel bad", when in reality it doesn't matter who you ascribe it to those thoughts are still coming from your brain. It didn't matter if I imagined it was someone else saying it about me when i saw a stereotypically masculine trans woman and thought "ugly, fake, creepy man in a dress", i still thought it and it was still viciously mean, and ironically only now that those insecurities are going away for me now that i'm starting to see real results from HRT after just half a year do i feel like i'm a woman and all trans women no matter what they look like are too, i'm still probably a massive piece of shit and will be for the rest of my life because my ultra-conservative upbringing, i don't think there will ever be a time where i can say "ok I'm not a transphobe now", too much damage has been done, and the only thing i can do is to stay vigilant about it, i don't think anyone can be faulted if they do that, but that bitch clearly doesn't
>>
Sidney Mellybune - Tue, 28 Jul 2020 12:26:00 EST oMJ8wD1p No.407472 Reply
I've been on hormones for 12 years, had some adventures, have a boyfriend.
But you have to work for it!
>>
Beatrice Fammerfit - Wed, 29 Jul 2020 06:52:20 EST g/Bx05E8 No.407474 Reply
>>407470
Hey there. I know you disagree with me or whatever (or maybe we just misunderstand each other) and that is ok, but I just want to tell you that, speaking about you, at least, you don't sound like a massive piece of shit. Trying to inflict less of your internalized junk on other trans people, and learning from your mistakes, sounds like what a good person does.
>>
Ernest Grandson - Wed, 29 Jul 2020 14:13:56 EST LKzeRb2X No.407475 Reply
1596046436277.jpg -(16396B / 16.01KB, 720x405) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>407474
I appreciate that, and I don't really disagree with you that strongly, and I don't even think the other poster is a "bad" person, I just take very strong issue with what she said, I think that what manifested as anger was really just that I was sad she has to live like that, which I know sounds condescending but I used to feel the same way and it's like night and day when you actually consider yourself to be the gender you identify as, and there is literally no reason not to.

I want to ask her "what's more important: being happy or being 'right'?" There clearly no one objective thing that makes anyone anything, and who gives a shit? why feel compelled to care? the big problem is people overthink things, either deliberately because they want a way to rationalize their prejudice or simply because we all kind of feel to some extent or another that there must be these definitive answers for everything when there are actually very few

i think really the only way to be truly happy now that we've past childhood's end in terms of there being any hope of discovering certain truth and are thoroughly living in postmodernity is to answer all these stupid questions like "what does it all mean?", "why are we here" or even "what makes someone a man or a woman" with ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

To badly paraphrase Rorty, any questions that have been around for thousands of years for which we still don't have an answer, the correct response is "I don't care".

Pic related as wise words to guide one's life
>>
Phyllis Smallbury - Thu, 30 Jul 2020 01:42:18 EST g/Bx05E8 No.407477 Reply
>>407475
Makes sense to me. I haven't worried too much about being a Real [Whatever] wrt trans stuff. I just moved, sluglike, towards what I wanted or what felt good and away from what felt bad. I like my body being the way it is. I don't need to care about why.

Report Post
Reason
Note
Please be descriptive with report notes,
this helps staff resolve issues quicker.