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i mean gender as opposed to sex is just the desire to do exactly what you're doing, that's the only barrier to entry, it doesn't make sense to say that it's a denial of reality, it's a term defined in observation of a natural phenomenon, some cultures have spaces for 3 distinct genders, others for 5
gender isn't a thing you are, it's a thing you do
but i mean you do you, whatever you're happy with is fine, but you're kind of stuck between two world views and to me it would be very dissonant, what pronouns do you use if you don't mind me asking?
I'm seriously not trying to tear down the worldview that makes you comfortable with your existence, I'm just trying to understand how one comes to that conclusion.
>but ideologically many of them differ far to greatly
I mean there's probably a reason for that, I don't really understand how people get in this position in the first place, to me there's no point in not taking the plunge. I used to be pretty reactionary but over time I saw "hey, here's a group of people who are saying I am and accepting me as what I've wanted to be since I was kid and they're explaining why I feel that way and telling me that it's okay and valid" and then I sort of realized most people my age feel that way and I would be in the minority against my own interests. It didn't make sense. Maybe it's an age thing.
I mean regardless of what anyone thinks it's the way society is going anyway, kids are being brought up to day in a way that this isn't even seen as a contentious issue, it's totally normal to them that there's a difference between sex and gender and most things we associate with sex are actually associated with gender and thought they're strongly correlated it's possible to have a gender identity that differs from biological sex.
In all honesty though I'm kind of a special case since I was partially androgen insensitive to begin with and just assigned male because visually I was plenty close enough. I didn't even find out formally until I pursued transitioning in my late teens, although I remember doctors telling me weird things as a kid like that "there are boy and girl potions and sometimes boys don't get enough of the boy one or too much of the girl one" and bizarre feelings like being terrified I was going to wake up one day as a girl (which to a 5 year old trying to be a boy and feeling like I was failing was pretty upsetting). My mom thought I was going to be (born as) a girl until I was after multiple tests saying that there was no evidence I would be male, which wasn't the case with my brother. Despite being identifiable as male (prior to starting to transition, I think that's starting to change but probably only to me and people who accept me as female, because that changes your perception of someone, makes you more likely to pick out female traits and ignore male ones) I've always had some female traits like no Adam's apple, fairly narrow shoulders, very pronounced gynecomastia and hypogonadism, low T, etc.
The issue in my mind is that it's impossible to determine what feelings were coming from being technically intersex and if I'm technically trans at all, I think it's possible to be both but I don't think anyone really knows. On a political level people solely see me as someone born "male" (which even sex is a bimodal not a binary, sex arises from a very complex process that's merely kicked off by chromosomes, not determined by them) who goes on to identify as female and my rights are restricted as such.
If anything, I have a much better "case" than trans women born solidly in the male range of biological sex, but from my experience I see the whole idea that one has to justify that they're a man, woman, or non-binary as patently ridiculous and deeply problematic. Whether or not I have the luxury of having the piece of the puzzle I do, it doesn't make me any more valid than a trans lesbian who transitions at 45, despite the fact that to a lot of people it absolutely does. We don't yet know the biological origins of gender identity, but if it's anything like homosexuality it could be very strongly correlated to biology even to the point of being considered and interesex condition, but again it doesn't have to be and on an individual level no one is going to have complex analysis to determine their brain structure, hormone levels, etc. to determine if they're "really" trans, there is not and should not be any barrier to entry.
I mean sure I could've just let your post stand so on some level this is obviously just cope on my end but it's what I firmly believe and as far as I can tell it's what most people who are informed on the issue believe and the idea that public consciousness is very quickly coming to