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Extreme DPH addiction

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- Fri, 22 Dec 2017 06:07:19 EST YnJONW5X No.155400
File: 1513940839859.png -(333940B / 326.11KB, 1235x1040) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Extreme DPH addiction
I was taking at the VERY least 600mg (24 capsules) of Benadryl every single night for over 2 years straight. Ironically enough I quit because I started doing meth and I didn't want to risk a heart attack. Thanks, meth. Haven't touched a single milligram of DPH in over 6 months now.
Did I permanenlty fuck up my body? Is there any actual research about long term extreme DPH abuse? Have any of you had such severe addictions to DPH? What should I start doing in order to quit meth?? I honestly think i'm better off with meth than with benadryl, toward the end of my benadryl phase i was having very brief spastic seizures every night in bed, honestly felt like i was about to die.
Pic unrelated
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starbrother !CGFwIbbIo6 - Fri, 22 Dec 2017 11:01:59 EST RNI3flE/ No.155402 Reply
>>155400
It sounds like you have an extremely addictive personality. Unless you can defeat that and develop the willpower to either go cold turkey or taper (don't know if that even works with meth) there's nothing anyone can do to help you or get you started. Extreme addiction requires extreme life changes.

Depending on your age, you might be able to heal from some of the damage you've done to yourself but going from meth is pretty awful on its own and you said you've done it for six months already.
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Graham Peddlefield - Fri, 22 Dec 2017 21:17:46 EST GYZoq/QB No.155409 Reply
>>155402

This. I'd agree that with a personality that conducive to addiction, meth of all things on the planet is the one thing you should've steered well fucking clear of.

Physically you're looking at kidneys that you'll be lucky to reach 40 without being on a transplant list, but if you're on meth you don't have to worry about reaching 40 anyway.

Mentally, you can probably work that out for yourself. Memory problems akin to dementia, feeling like you're in a dream, stammering, loss of train of thought. Again, wouldnt worry about them because mental damage on DPH is a joke in the face of meth brain. Recent data suggests DPH can be a risk factor in dementia, but again, dont worry about it, it only affects people who reach risk age.
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Samuel Biblinglit - Sat, 23 Dec 2017 00:35:31 EST +NVBDnI3 No.155414 Reply
Gotta agree with starbro about the addictive personality. If we're being honest here, at this point you've done so many drugs for such extended periods of time (likely far exceeding what's conventionally meant/implied when people talk about binges), that worrying about how much you've fucked your body or brain up shouldn't be your chief concern. Really, you should just take that your body is fucked up in some way now as a given and focus more on the issues that are actually fueling your lifestyle, state of mind, and world outlook.

I guess to put it most succinctly, it's too late to think about whether this or any other drug you have a past with has any significant or even imminent potential for causing permanent damage to you. That time passed, man. Thinking about what abusing the drug so wantonly as you did will negatively manifest in you in the future isn't something you should be worrying about anymore, because now that's out of your control. Worrying about things you have no control over are only going to distract you and even dissuade you from properly addressing the issues affecting you now that you are able to do something about.

If you're not actually interested in addressing the addiction or life issues though, disregard what I said, I suppose. Instead, then, I'd just be asking why you're suddenly worried about the damage you did now at all... or why you even do ever. After all, choosing to keep using drugs in the same manner you do now is what's directly responsible for all the damage anyway. Nothing especially wrong with doing that, but I just thought it was common sense that when you decide to keep using drugs the same way, you're doing so fully aware of and with accepting the fact that the damage to your body and brain just comes with the territory.
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Edwin Bassleforth - Sat, 23 Dec 2017 02:58:32 EST D1CPTbAb No.155416 Reply
If you're asking whether you permanently fucked up your body, and you did that much DPH, maybe you didn't. I mean if the long term effects aren't already visible then maybe you're A-OK. I'm very curious now though! Apart from the seizures do you have any other issues? And if you don't then who gives a fuck just keep living.
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Corpus Crispy - Sat, 23 Dec 2017 12:20:05 EST HnxzRvCM No.155418 Reply
I wonder what it is about dph that makes many who use it attribute it to all the potential health problems they might have even though they've done tons of other drugs. I've been in that same train of thought. There is not very much research on long term dph abuse but there's a plethora of people with the same story how they think dph destroyed their organs and then get a physical and end up being fine. There IS however plenty of research on the long term abuse of meth and how it actually does destroy your body. The dph likely has just fucked up your brain. The meth is what's going to cause you serious physical health problems if you don't stop.
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Fucking Peckledore - Sat, 23 Dec 2017 14:56:00 EST V9VDfWyj No.155421 Reply
>>155418

I've noticed this too, especially since I feel it first hand. I think it's all to do with the dysphoria and anticholinergic effects making you feel horribly run down with a fever. Also gives you this grimy silent hill vibe to the world. Even on fap doses or just a pill or two more than what it says on the label and I feel like I've poisoned myself. It's mostly psychosomatic
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CrazyFolksTribe !owU3wSU682 - Sat, 23 Dec 2017 21:20:07 EST OZH7t0r+ No.155424 Reply
1514082007692.jpg -(91945B / 89.79KB, 700x480) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
I'm in a similar boat, OP. Although I never went through a period of daily DPH use longer than one month, my binges became more and more frequent until I switched to meth a few weeks ago. I feel happier and more interested in life, but with the general lack of sleep and proper meals, I have no trouble believing that meth can cause or worsen brain damage over time.

Answering your first and fourth questions would be guesswork.

Meth is usually considered a drug of abuse, and has been studied accordingly, so there's evidence of what it can do in the long term. However, DPH is rarely (if ever) studied as a deliriant of chronic abuse. I'm sure heavy DPH abuse can fuck up your reward system (like any addiction), but due to the lack of available research, it's hard to say what else it does to you, or how long these changes last.
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CrazyFolksTribe !owU3wSU682 - Sat, 23 Dec 2017 21:52:06 EST OZH7t0r+ No.155426 Reply
>>155424
I meant to add:
The surefire way to end an addiction is to put yourself in a situation where the drug is completely unavailable. It's not easy with modern technology though.
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Henry Dattingdedging - Sun, 24 Dec 2017 10:25:59 EST SCGGDKQB No.155431 Reply
>>155418

Some small piece of the impending doom feel doesn't quite go away even when the dph is completely gone from your system. To some degree neither does the hyperawareness of every little thing that might be something bad, let your thoughts linger for a second on a little hunger pang and the next thing you know is that it must be unstoppable organ failure. I went though a period of about a year and a half where I was taking anywhere from 800mg to 1600mg every night and the only long-term physical change seems to be the weight loss, which only occurred because I was starving myself to avoid food interfering with the already tolerance-weakened trip.
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Jay - Fri, 19 Jan 2018 09:35:43 EST 0B5Kx321 No.155639 Reply
>>155400
Dude ive been in your same position before i had to stop dph. You are going to have issues you are just gonna have to live with.

Towards the tail end of my use i was also experiencing seizures, i think DPH honestly can permanently lower your seizure threshold (i have no sources but myself to conclude that to) & its definitely rewired my brain for the absolute fucking worst.

At the end of the day, I don't care if i am dead or alive. I know what i've done has brought my day of death closer & even if i wanted to care now theres nothing i can do about it. Sadly this is the life of a dph addict & recovering is hard shit but i think its possible to make a clean recovery from it.

I personally only smoke weed, take phenibut occasionally along with some psychs. Meth is going to fuck you up in the long run, replacing an addiction for another. If you're going to replace addiction for another just get some weed man.
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Guest soldier - Tue, 18 Sep 2018 23:09:40 EST sW4W+UPd No.157097 Reply
>>155400
Personally I had a severe addiction to DPH for a long time. I popped dmh when I was 16 for the first time and realized that being fucked out of my mind was easier to deal with than actually trying to work out any issues I was going through relating to repressed memories of child abuse and watching my mother succumb to mental illness. Eventually dmh became difficult to take because of the taste so I switched to DPH and began the worst year of my life I began taking 25 daily and as my tolerance went up I gradually moved up to 35 40 then 50 tablets a day I was such a mental wreck that I didn't even know what was happening to me anymore I wanted to stop especially because even though I knew I was a junkie I wasn't an idiot I knew I was causing irreparable harm to my body but I couldn't stop it was easier than killing myself. Then after more than a year of almost daily use I took a good 6-7 month break as I began basic training in the military. After it was all over I always thought about going back and trying it again just once more and one day I did the psychosis was to much to handle I couldn't take the silent Hill esque hallucinations and itching nightmares anymore I just didn't have it in me so I stopped I haven't touched it since then and never will I still have addictions to many other things ranging from painkillers and cigarettes to junk food but slowly I have began to overcome those addictions and take control again but those memories of Dph delirium infused nightmares will continue to haunt me for the rest of my life the same way as the greif of what caused me to begin my dph addiction in the first place. I just remind myself everyday that that dark place will always be waiting for me and it's up to me to decide wether I want to go back or not. Sometimes I think the scariest thing about Hell is that its entirely up to us wether we go or not and its limitations are bound only by our minds.
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Beast - Wed, 19 Sep 2018 16:54:52 EST /OXDeCuT No.157098 Reply
1537390492323.jpg -(245810B / 240.05KB, 1300x957) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>155400
This is a beautiful thread...One of the best I've read tbh.

I would reply in kind to what made it beautiful but idk how to multi-quote, alas.


In any case, Starbrother has it right that extreme addictions require extreme life changes. Some things are too big to taper and will require sacrifice to cut out. You've changed your life whether you like it or not through using...All you can do now is strap up your boots and march.

I also got into the seizure phase and I do agree that it lowers your threshold. THC is one of the few safe solutions...It still has it's own "vibe" and I have permanently warped my mind to be more open to delirium so weed is tinged with that as well but at least the seizures can be compensated for.

THC is the ONLY thing I can recommend when you've opened your mind up to that sort of thing. I could get into the why but I don't want to circumlocute a whole bunch and that's where my mind is at atm ;)

For me it's a natural antidote...it does have it's own "vibe" though like I said and I still get the doom feels just not quite as bad.


Time is a healer of a lot of things. Agree with Samuel about sort of giving up what you've already lost. It isn't coming back, you are NOT the same and won't ever be. You can only use what you have left and rebuke the depression and sadness about what could have been.

It's like going off to war at 18...the similarities between PTSD and HPPD from DPH are somewhat similar...You just have to keep pressing on.

Just don't continue...you may have to look into rehab for a time. It's not the worst thing in the world and no one will get a DPH addiction but you just have to ignore "ignorance" ha. There are some good disc groups atm for this sort of thing so maybe that's your route.

You may feel like you don't have it in you to make changes but that's what others are for...we aren't in this alone. People do know how you feel, they just might have a different lens for understanding it.

On this board we have all put on a similar pair of glasses. Fractal lenses if you will...don't expect that to be common. This board may also be a bad place to come to as it can be a sort of trigger if you are feeling weak during your journey. Took me a solid 2 years to feel like I had the high ground and could come back.


Maybe take a long trip. Join the peace corp. Go skydiving...do something to get past this. It will get easier but it won't ever stop being hard if that makes sense. The initial 2 weeks of working out is always brutal but it must be done.



Oh and don't listen to the bullshit that it doesn't do any damage. Nothing is free...peering into the abyss will always have a cost. Meth might be more physical cost and less mental while DPH may be the reverse.

I can see why you made the trade but it was a shitty bargain...Take a look at it.

THC could be an avenue but it will not be free either...it won't magically change you. If you put in the effort though and combine it with positive life changes it could give you some breathing space to start tackling the root issues because that is what is going to continue to trip you up.

We've all played russian roulette on this board...and we've all lost by simply playing. Keep going and eventually that chamber will have a bullet in it.
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Beast - Wed, 19 Sep 2018 18:46:47 EST /OXDeCuT No.157100 Reply
grats on the fishing!!!! jk...RS is weird addiction too ;)
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Edward Hibberhick - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 12:24:33 EST hO8fx4z6 No.157114 Reply
I've switched from daily DPH to daily meth to daily opioids (and by times all 3) and back again for the.last... Oh 8 years or so. Word recall is a bit fucked and I developed this weird tendency of speaking a few words of my thoughts out loud before catching myself. My physical health is fine or so says the doctor after blood/urine checkups.
It's only been this year that I've started feeling somewhat "off" on a consistent basis and so I've been making the effort to stop chemically beating the shit out of myself and honestly, after a week or two of sobriety, I feel pretty much like I did before I even started. This includes the spasms you speak of going away. The tricky part is not using that as an excuse to start all over again because "See? I'M FIIIINE!"
I'm not so stupid as to think this all won't possibly or even quite probably cause problems in my future and I know not everybody could bounce back so easily (I guess... I don't really know anybody to compare myself to) but humans can be incredibly resilient to a surprising degree. I used to frequent a suicide newsgroup and people would report on surviving insane overdoses and poisonings. Medical journals report similar results, too sometimes.
It very well may just be the crank causing you to anxiously dwell on this, in which case you might as well quit thatbecause that obviously ain't much fun. As to how to go about doing that, the best I can suggest is straight-up willpower and doing your best to avoid triggers. It's a BITCH but the alternative (that being death or irreparable and serious damage) will be a lot worse, if you even give a shit anymore which you seem to considering your post... Try not to get discouraged and keep at least trying. That's the point I'm at anyway.
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Edward Hibberhick - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 12:54:58 EST hO8fx4z6 No.157115 Reply
>>157098
I also think it's a shitty thing to say "You're not the same and never will be" to somebody who is obviously experiencing considerable anxiety fueled by methamphetamine and anxiety that might be completely baseless and over nothing at that.

You don't know this person and the particulars of their situation and even if you did, not everybody reacts to substances the same. What you said is akin to somebody who's mental illness was exacerbated by LSD telling another LSD user that happens to everybody who takes it... Not smart nor helpful and certainly not "beautiful"...Whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean
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Beast - Thu, 27 Sep 2018 00:28:27 EST /OXDeCuT No.157126 Reply
>>157115
You seem to have completely missed the point.

Can you go back to being a vigin after you've had sex? No.

Are you screwed the rest of your life if you wanted to go back to how things were before? Yes.

What I am saying is change your perspective. What's gone is gone. What's changed is changed.

Focus on what you have left. What is good...use the energy you have with purpose and direction...not aimlessly.
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Beast - Thu, 27 Sep 2018 00:30:42 EST /OXDeCuT No.157127 Reply
>>157126
The beauty was in response to the situation and I found a lot of good responses...I'm sorry you did not feel the same.
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Jarvis Cloblingworth - Thu, 27 Sep 2018 09:03:52 EST KuXBn26h No.157130 Reply
>>157127

ive taken loads also and for many years (up to over 1g in the very serious times). ive had multiple blood checks, CT scans etc. and its nothing.....everything is totally perfectly fine. dont even have vitamin D issues or anything.

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