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hallucinations occurring in real life years later

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- Sat, 18 Jan 2020 10:52:52 EST 8QYTClzF No.158763
File: 1579362772287.jpg -(107598B / 105.08KB, 720x960) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. hallucinations occurring in real life years later
we all know and love the weird scenarios you hallucinate on dph

One minute you're tripping in your bed. You're transported to some random scenario but you don't even realise, it's rather gentle like that. Now you're in your mates kitchen (but not really) and you're talking to your friend and their mum. They're talking to each other but you don't really hear the words, it doesn't really matter anyway. Your friends mum reaches through the fridge door and pulls out some orange juice and starts pouring it on the roof without missing a beat. There's a thunderstorm outside. They say something and you say "haha yea that like that purple" the record skips and they both stare at you, juice still pouring into a massive puddle on the roof. You nervously repeat what you said but they don't understand you. Now they're really staring at you. You mustn't've said it clearly, so you really focus. You say "yea purple!" out loud and you're snapped back to your bed wondering what just happened.

Oh yea, that's right. You ate a bunch of first generation antihistamines and you wanted this. Now you're just frustrated cause the scenarios keep getting interrupted when you say words out loud in real life and it wakes you up. Don't worry, you won't remember a fucking thing in a minute or two. Pet the spiders. Watch cartoons on a pillow. Play video games on the blanket. Watch the spiders rain down and the floor is now cats. Someone is in your mirror but don't worry, they can't get out.

A few years later you're in the kitchen with your friend and their mum. She's wasted and keeps spilling her drink on the floor. It doesn't matter, you're wasted too. Your drunk ass says something stupid and the record skips and they stare at you. There's a storm outside. You repeat yourself and quickly realise your mistake and apologise. They burst into laughter and everything goes back to normal.

Almost everything. You're confused as shit. This has happened before, it's deja vu as fuck. That's right! It was that treasured memory you dwell on when times get bad to get you through. It was that hilarious dream you had when you were tripping that one time. You survived the horror of delirium, whatever's happening doesn't seem as bad in comparison. The details were a bit different, but the way it felt, it felt exactly the same.

Every once in a while this happens. You experience the exact same feeling you felt that time you were playing out a near identical scenario in your head. What does it all mean? Nothing. What difference does it make? None.

Except that one time you hallucinated drinking with your mate in a room with two strangers and your girlfriend and the penny dropped that she was cheating on you with some guy that was in the house. It was a pretty insignificant memory, but for some reason you never forgot how it felt and you think about it randomly. A few years later in real life you're in a room with two strangers and your girlfriend and someone says something that makes the penny drop that your girlfriend has been cheating on you with that cunt who's in the bathroom right now. You dump her ass, but in the morning. For now you drink all her alcohol with your mate, trash her house and laugh at her pretending she hasn't done anything wrong all the while freaking out that she's been caught.
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William Climblekine - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 04:04:04 EST nMtVYosB No.158765 Reply
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fuck I was high when I wrote this nonsense thread. I guess I really wanted to know if anyone has experienced any of this or if any of you have any insight.


I spent the better part of a decade heavily abusing dph. I would spend nights just laying in my bed, lucid dreaming all kind of weird scenarios. Sometimes doing everyday things, some of them were extremely mundane. Driving in a car with friends, listening to a conversation at work, walking down the street. Others were quite profound. Getting kicked out of a house, being in a dangerous situation outside a pub with people wanting to fight us, near misses in traffic accidents or altercations with the law.

I remember a lot of these scenarios. It's sorta like how you can randomly recall dreams very clearly one day, then forget all about them the next day, only to remember it vividly a few months later. It gets a little clearer every time because now it's a memory that I remember recalling repeatedly.


But this is where it gets weird.


Some of those hallucinations happen in real life. It's a bit different every time, but for the most part this is how it goes: I'm doing something normal, then this feeling of deja vu starts building up. Someone says something, or someone enters the room, or something happens, and I'm thinking to myself "wait a minute, this has happened before. This was that del dream I had that one time. Person #1 just said something, now person #2 is about to say something that really upsets person #1 and it's gonna come out of nowhere". Then BAM, person #2 does in fact say something out of the blue that upsets person #1. Then the memory ends and it goes back to real life.

That random memory plays out in real life, exactly like it was in the dph dream. It feels the same. The blank characters in the dream now have faces, but they're standing in the same parts of the room, and they way they feel, for lack of a better term, their energy, aura, whatever, it's the same. The way I feel about the people and the way I feel connected to them, it's all the same. It's that sense of when you're in a house with people, you can feel who is there, where they are, what they're doing, how you feel about them. You feel this all the time, it's standard operating environment. But every once in a while a chunk is the same.


It genuinely feels like all those del dreams were me seeing the future. Not in any way that helps or matters or is exploitable or means anything.


I don't know. I'm probably just going crazy. I mean, I am already diagnosed as crazy. I had schizophrenia long before I found dph. I sure as fuck have taken dph way too far way too often, and made all those schizo symptoms a million times worse. I have thrust myself into the void and the void has left scars all over me. I've traumatised myself with days long full blown psychotic breaks and hospitalisations and fucked up choices that in turn tramatised the people unlucky enough to be in proximity to me.

Maybe if you spend long enough having hundreds of arbitrary dreams on dph, those thousands of experiences are gonna line up, like throwing a dice enough times eventually every pattern possible is gonna come up or something like that

More likely, this is just hppd, I made a lot of bad choices and caused a lot of harm to myself. But then why to I have memories from the future?


I do know one thing for sure. dph is one hell of a drug. If you have an affinity for it, and you let it, it will ruin you. And I still fucking love it


Thank you for coming to my inane blog post dph related rambling wall of text.
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Nathaniel Gaddleworth - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 09:05:59 EST SxsVkGAA No.158766 Reply
I used to hallucinate bugs were in my house, and sometimes I find real bugs in my house.

That's about it OP sorry
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Ian Cronningspear - Sun, 19 Jan 2020 16:12:46 EST uYd7xWeO No.158768 Reply
>>158763

i had an extremely vivid realistic deja vu back when i was a kid and years before i started doing any drug at all. I was in reality at a 3 day school trip to something called "forest school", it's a trip to the deep countryside near a forest and most elemental school sixth graders do this here, it's something like boy scouts but only for 3 days. And on the second day, around early afternoon i started to feel that this situation is familiar. After that i started to feel that this exact thing that happens right now already happened once exactly the same way. Then next, i started to feel that i know what's gonna happen next, and i guessed and i was right, for every little happening for hours. I could go into detail about what exactly happened but it doesn't matter it was just normal kids doing normal things, but i knew what will happen and it really happened exactly as i said it in my head. Never ever since had i a remotely similar experience, not even with high dose hallucinogen combinations.
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Fuck Birryshit - Fri, 24 Jan 2020 12:41:42 EST s+vKYCRR No.158778 Reply
1579887702559.png -(1418124B / 1.35MB, 1200x849) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
There was one weekend in particular that was utterly drenched in bam! bam! bam! Massive memory, one after the other, each one firing while I was still reeling from the last. Suddenly the massive feelings and scenarios from several separate hallucinations from several years played out in real life over a very short span of time.

The feelings I had in real life as this relatively unusual weekend-and-a-bit played out felt exactly like their hallucinated counterparts. But now they were grounded in reality. The bizarre situations and faceless actors were tied to real people, places and events. Suddenly the complex emotions made perfect sense in context.

I made this drawing of the stronger hallucinations I remember. It's a mix of what I actually was seeing, and some visual representations of a range of things such as 'seeing' or 'feeling' (not hearing) someone in the next room over vomiting and wondering whether it was really realâ„¢, to being able to see an entire house (like every room at once) full of housemates and guests and strangers walking around and peering through the tiny cracks around the door which felt like they were 10 feet wide.
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William Clayham - Fri, 31 Jan 2020 20:26:13 EST yOaMuMd+ No.158810 Reply
>>158778
holy shit this is so good. can you tell us more about the hallucination and the real world event?
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Jack Grimhall - Sat, 01 Feb 2020 07:25:49 EST 8AuomZoF No.158813 Reply
Quality thread. I've only done dph a handful of times but I have done dxm hundreds of times and had synchronicities happen on dxm or the next day after trips where people would say exactly what i was thinking or something would happen i predicted the night before.

Love your drawing OP.
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Phoebe Durringbanks - Fri, 07 Feb 2020 21:33:46 EST Xl+QD8On No.158828 Reply
1581129226920.png -(2352378B / 2.24MB, 1200x843) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Here's the finished 300/300 drawing. It has lots of stories to go with it, but I need to spend the time to write them all down then clean them up so they're coherent. More to come!
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Solanacia - Tue, 11 Feb 2020 16:52:27 EST y+N6bKCf No.158832 Reply
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>>158828
How in the everloving fuck do you draw that good while on dissociatives and deliriants? I don't have much deliriant draws cause deliriants make my hand-eye coordination/dexterity completely retardified. Here's one thing I did afterward from a trip while also depressed o;
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Walter Funningpidging - Thu, 13 Feb 2020 08:38:21 EST Xl+QD8On No.158836 Reply
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okay it's story time. here's what I was able to piece together for all this back story there is A LOT of text incoming, so brace yourselves.

>be me about 5 years ago
>house to myself
>in the right mindset to physically and mentally stomach 300/300
>been binging on dph for a few days and sleep deprived, which is why some of the following hallucinations were so strong for just 300/300
>set the scene, make my bed, get in comfy clothes, go to the toilet etc
>sitting on my bed propped up with pillows
>maximum comfy
>dim lighting and nothing on the screens, fan on for static, no music or stimulation, trying something new, instead of tripping and constantly trying to work the tv for distractions
>down the 300/300 dxm/dph
>friday night spider fight
>life is great
>trip comes on hard fast and strong and I'm completely lucid and content
>fuck yes this is why we do this
>all the hangovers, the fuck ups, the trip induced trauma, the hppd
>fuck all of it, trips like this are why we do dph or dxm

>fairy lights start crawling over the walls and my stuff
>cats, like a million cats. I swear every cat I've ever seen in my life is walking through my room
>low electronic music building in the background
>coloured lights are dancing on the walls
>my childhood cat comes and sits on my lap. I fucking love that cat. I'd recently moved out of home and the most painful part was leaving that cat behind. She was probably 18 at the time
>for the sake of anominity let's call her Norris. Norris the cat.
>a few friends walk through the door into my room
>not through the doorway, through the door lol
>starts getting pretty crowded
>everyone is chilling, drinking, music gets louder
>music visualisers playing on the screens
>big time party vibes
>I look out my window to the left and I can see through the curtains
>it's the Hatman
>he's standing there watching me
>no evil vibes or anything. He's just. Watching.
>he's there for the entire trip
>always watching
>party is going on and the music is aweomse
>continues like this for a bit, then a familiar stranger that I've seen drinking in the city a lot, but have never talked to comes over. Lets call him Heyzeus
>asks how I'm going, hands me a drink, chills for a bit drinking together
>turns to me and asks something like "you ready to take it to another level??"
>I say "fucking fuck yea bro fuck my shit up I fucking love this fucking shit"
>"alright alright alright" he says grinning
>Heyzeus puts his hand to his mouth and yells "Take it away, boys!!" while spinning his other hand
>the fucking walls and ceiling peel away like sardine tin lids
>holy fucking shit I have never seen something so fucking amazing in my entire life
>all that remains are the skirting boards where the walls meet the floor and the ceiling
>beyond them is endless stair cases, balconies, mezzanines and awnings, all of them folding into existence
>they endlessly bloom into the sky
>room is the size of a large hall now, people are fucking everywhere drinking and partying
>the most incredible music is just blasting away
>can see, feel, pick up and drink random drinks that keep appearing on my bed
>I'm still sat on my bed in the middle of it all just absolutely having a fucking blast
>the hallucinations are so persistent, clear, full and vivid
>like I said I'd been binging and sleep deprived for the better part of a week. I thought I just had 300/300 but the reality is probably more in the neighbourhood of cumulative grams of both substances over several days with no sleep
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Walter Funningpidging - Thu, 13 Feb 2020 08:39:33 EST Xl+QD8On No.158837 Reply
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>trip is in full effect and isn't going anywhere anytime soon
>feeling so much love from everyone who is loving this amazing party I'm throwing them
>start to notice some familiar faces
>watch Heyzeus as he mingles
>he's just as charismatic and charming and partying just like the real life version of him I keep seeing at the pubs I used to go to
>Heyzues is 6 foot something, with a magestic black beard and hair down to his ankles, built like a brick shithouse
>a modern day adonis, everyone who sees him falls in love with him immediately
>there's a hopeless sorrow about him though. He's so lonely at the top
>there's this drop dead gorgeous girl making eyes with me
>let's call her Wonderland
>keeps winking at me, talking to me, says she loves the sound of my voice
>she loves to drink, she's having a fucking blast
>she really likes me too. In real life I'd pretty much given up on meeting a girl I liked, let alone any of them being interested in me
>I'm talking gibberish and apologise
>"haha that's okay, I don't care, I just love listening to you talk anon. I really like you"
>feeling that blissful feeling of falling in love with this girl and she's falling right back at me
>feelsgoodman

>old friend from high school I haven't seen in years walks up to the trasnlucent frame of my window on my left and squats down resting his arms on his knees
>his name shall be Slip for this story
>he's dressed in some sort of uniform, keep noticing little things like epaulettes and badges and tools
>he's talking but I can't really understand what he's saying
>I try talking to him but all that comes out is gibberish
>we try to talk for a little bit then realise there's no point
>doesn't matter, we're happy just being in each others company
>just sit together quietly
>feels good to sit with Slip

>trip continues like this for about an hour or so
>lots of shennanigans going on
>people riding zoo animals
>fireworks, drinking games
>drugs everywhere
>good times all round

>party is starting to wind down
>Heyzeus swings by to check how I'm going, says he'll be back later
>real life housemate real life comes home and real life talks to me
>lets call him Yeezus
>talk to Yeezus for a bit before realising I'm tripping and he can't see anything I'm talking about
>laugh and tell him I'm tripping
>he laughs and thinks it's funny, asks me what I can see
>I tell him "man so much shit! there's all these sheets covered in tattoos hanging over the ceiling, there's people partying everywhere
>There's even norris the cat!! You remember Norris? I fucking love that cat!! She's been sitting on my lap the whole time!!"
>"haha dude you are fucking crazy. I just got back from drinking with my sports friends" says Yeezus
>"haha is that why your girlfriend is throwing up in the toilet right now?" I ask
>"what? dude she's in *regional city fucking hours away* right now"
>"oh really? lol dude I am tripping I can feel her vomitting not 2 feet away from us right now lmao"
>"faaarrrkk dude I wish I could trip like you do sometimes" Yeezus pats me on the shoulder and and says "you're crazy! goodnight!"
>"night bro" real life housemate real life goes to real life sleep
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Walter Funningpidging - Thu, 13 Feb 2020 08:41:15 EST Xl+QD8On No.158838 Reply
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>party has been dying down while I'm talking to Yeezus
>the party is organically coming to a blissful end
>what an experience
>that rare moment of having a crazy as balls trip, and being present and able to fully appreciate how amazing it all was, just, wow
>the frames of the skirting boards of my room have been there the whole time
>the party starts to slowly roll away on a conveyor belt
>now through the frame of the the skirting boards of my room I can see a small alley
>Norris looks up at me from my lap and telepathically tells me that the time for her to say goodbye has come
>I look at her and tell her how fucking much I love her
>she blinks slowly, nods and says "I know"
>she turns and walks away to show me her butt hole one last time
>turns to dust as she walks away
>fucking cats lol

>Heyzeus returns as he promised
>he's brought a friend with him
>says he needs me to babysit his friend for a bit
>"my pleasure, dude" I say
>let's call this new character Eddy
>he's got a massive head on a tiny little body
>he's bewildered, you can see a universe is exploding behind his giant glassy dinnerplate dialated eyes
>he walks around like a bobblehead and follows me like a puppy
>Heyzeus says he has a joint
>we sit on a bench and smoke it
>I didn't get up this whole time, the world kind of just moves around from behind the frames of my room to position me on the bench
>we smoke together and talk about how much fun we've had
>the trip winds down and I call it a night
>I go to sleep



THE END. That was a wild trip, right? Like holy shit it was everything I imagined dxm/dph could be when I first learned about them from here years ago, and more. Now you're probably thinking "But what about the spiders?!" Everything I said earlier, go back and cover all of it with spiders. Spiders fucking everywhere. But it was the quintessential dph paradoxical spiders that are yes spiders but you're totally okay with them they're just like grass or fog or something. I just left them out because otherwise I'd be talking about spiders the entire time.


so that is the set up. Now for the meat and guts of why I made this thread. Time for things to delve right down into delirious psychosis. Here are a collection of stories that really happened in my real life years after this trip, broken into chapters.
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Walter Funningpidging - Thu, 13 Feb 2020 08:42:22 EST Xl+QD8On No.158839 Reply
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NORRIS THE CAT

>on my way home from work one day
>get a call from my fucking sister
>I fucking hate her, what the fuck does she want
>answer
>"hey anon, I'm really sorry. I have some bad news"
>"oh?"
>"Norris is dead"
>"oh"
>the world dissolves
>I'm in the middle of a busy bus interchange and everything around me disappears
>there's nothing but this absolute soul crushing misery
>I fucking loved that cat
>"oh no" I think. "I can't break down and cry in front of all these people, what am I going to do?"
>"I know"
>it's Norris. She's in my minds eye. She slowly blinks and nods at me
>"I know" she says
>she turns to show me her butt hole one last time and turns to dust
>fucking cats lol
>I come to
>I'm standing still in the bus interchange, the world is rushing around me
>sister is rambling some bullshit about Norris
>I feel okay. I got to say goodbye. I'm no longer jealous that Norris spent her last moments with my sister who couldn't care less about her
>the call ends and I go back to my life




HEYZEUS AND EDDY

>be me
>be years before the trip I talked about earlier
>realise one day why Eddy from the trip was so familiar, I had been introduced to him by Heyzeus and hung out with him for a night years ago in the real world
>it was like a premonition of my drrug trip or some shit. I didn't really recognise the timeline of this until I wrote it down. anyways I guess it's a kinda funny story anyway so I left it in
>the night I met Heyzeus and Eddy
>be that time that research chemicals were exploding
>have the house (different house to the other stories, not really relevant) to myself
>drop 25i
>transported to a magical trip
>walk to the pub
>real life Heyzeus was out that night
>I'm drinking by myself and he notices me
>calls me over
>holy shit I've seen this guy out drinking so many times he's magical I can't believe he noticed me
>we pal around for a while
>tell him I'm tripping fucking balls
>"I know, anon"
>asks if I wanna go smoke a joint with him and Eddy
>we go out the back to the alley and sit on the table passing a joint to each other
>Heyzeus says it's fun hanging out with us
>we walk to maccas and get some food
>it's 3am on a weekend
>Heyzeus is a fucking magnet, before our food even arrives several attractive drunk girls come sit with us
>they are super direct and even say "I want to take you to my house and fuck you so bad right now"
>I look at Eddy and we both grimace
>neither of us are interested
>"uhhhhh I kinda just wanna just trip balls with Eddy instead sorry, we were kind of in the middle of an important conversation" I say
>Eddy just smiles, nods and agrees. He's pretty quiet
>one of the girls says to me "That's a shame. I really think it would be awesome to spend all night coming all over you guys, you're both so delicious, I'm so wet just thinking about it. Oh well."
>she kisses me on the cheek and leaves
>me and Eddy got into a really deep conversation about the universe on the walk to maccas, all we wanted was to get back to our conversation
>feel pretty miffed that when I finally got to dance in Heyzeus's magical light and I'd wanted it for so long and that when I got my turn I wasn't fucking interested
>mfw weeks later I realised how fucking hot and horny and real those girls were and I turned them down because I was more interested in tripping balls holy shit

>Heyzeus says he's gonna leave with the girls
>sincerely tells us he had a blast hanging out with me and Eddy, he'd never forget tonight
>me and Eddy walk around until sunrise talking about the nature of reality
>I start to sober up a bit
>notice Eddy's eyes are dialated as all fuck
>basically all pupil
>really sobering up by this point
>realise that eddy is high as fuck, but not on drugs
>this poor lost soul is certifiably insane. batshit crazy. in more direct terms, mentally ill
>my psychaedelic trip ramblings are his regular day to day
>ask him what he was doing before he met me
>"I don't know, I was having dinner with my sister, but she was being really mean to me so I went for a walk" Eddy says
>"sisters are the worst man, I'm sorry" I say
>"It's okay, I forgive you"
>"What are you going to do?" I ask, sobering up more every moment and wanting to just go home
>"I saw this park bench earlier, I really liked that park bench. I really want to go sit on it" he says
>"I think I'm gonna go sit on it now, it's been nice spending time with you" Eddy says as he starts to walk away
>I chase after him and ask "Wait, dude, are you, like, okay? Do you need help? Do you need anything? I can give you money, you can use my phone to call your sister, anything at all just ask, you can sleep at my place if you need?"
>"nah I just really want that park bench. bye!"
>Eddy leaves
>I try to follow him but he's vanished
>mfw I probably just spent a night drinking with some special needs guy who ran away from his carers and is off his meds
>mfw I'm realising just how crazy he was and how crazy that night was
>wtf
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Walter Funningpidging - Thu, 13 Feb 2020 08:43:38 EST Xl+QD8On No.158840 Reply
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THE HATMAN

>be me
>be years after the original trip
>haven't touched dxm since then
>on a whim think "I wanna take a shot of dxm"
>whip out a bottle and down a shot
>that was fucking easy. Why the fuck did I stop doing this stuff??
>because just the right colour of red is enough to make me dry heave at the thought of that nasty syrup
>no sick feelings right now though
>drink more syrup
>start to trip
>look out the window
>it's the hatman again
>right in the same spot he was last time
>standing under the same tree next to the same river of blood pouring into the same normal non-blood river
>he's not evil, he just is. He just watches
>feel this crazy wave of comfort
>before this trip I had made several very serious and active attempts to end my life
>by sheer dumb luck I survived all of them but fucked my life up pretty bad from them
>but the hatman will always be there watching me
>realise that from how he sees it, it doesn't matter if I die tomorrow, or if I die in a thousand years
>I will die one day no matter what
>and he will be there. always watching, always waiting
>it doesn't matter how I live my life either, it's all the same to the hatman
>for the first time in my life I want to live





WONDERLAND

>be me
>be a year or so after that magical trip
>in a real slump
>broke, lonely, miserable and all round not having a good time
>some girl messages me on a forum
>we get to talking
>she's really cool
>she really likes me for some reason
>we exchange numbers and talk on the phone
>"oh my god, I love your voice!!" is the first thing she says to me
>we talk for hours and hours
>I start rambling and apologise
>"haha it's okay anon, I just love hearing you talk" she says
>feels amazing to connect with her
>it was exactly the same as the beautiful girl from the balcony on that magical trip
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Walter Funningpidging - Thu, 13 Feb 2020 08:44:43 EST Xl+QD8On No.158841 Reply
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SLIP AND THE CROSSROADS

>be me
>be awake all night on that night I mentioned earlier where I drank all that robo and saw the hatman again
>it's morning now
>friend calls me up
>says he just got some weed so dank that he just had to call me and smoke it with me
>fuck yea I am into that shit
>he comes to pick me up
>I haven't slept, drank probably 750mg dxm by this point and into the next bottle so I am dissociated as all fuck
>in his car when he does a burnout around a roundabout
>still buzzing on life after that hatman realisation
>red and blue lights flash behind us
>not even bothered, nothing could bother me right now
>we pull over
>it's Slip
>I'm trying my best not to draw attention to my dissociated ass
>Slip says he remembers me from school, asks how I've been
>I say I didn't know he was a police officer now
>he squats down by my passenger side window and rests his hands on his knees
>Just like he did in my window in that trip years ago
>it looks the fucking same
>I've seen this image flash in my mind for fucking years since that trip for no reason and now it's fucking happening
>he tries to talk to me but I'm too far gone to communicate
>he's cool with it
>sits and waits for his partner to talk to my buddy driving
>get off with a warning
>go about our day
>the weed was in fact dank as fuck, thank fuck it wasn't in the car and we hadn't smoked it yet
>we listen to music and I lay on the floor watching the roof change rainbow of colours from the fairy lights
>what a coincidence
>buddy is driving me home
>Wonderland messages me
>says she's drunk and she wanted to talk to me
>asks me how my days was
>I text her
>"it was fucking crazy!! I was tripping and I got pulled over but it was okay, because it had happened before but like in a dream so I knew everything was going to be okay and you were there and it was amazing! and in the end everything really did turn out okay!!"
>she had infact messaged me earlier when we were pulled over but I couldn't reply because I didn't want to complicate being pulled over by doing anything that would reveal I was high as shit on cough syrup even though I was a passenger
>I ask her to send a photo
>she's sat on a balcony holding a drink, just like she was when I saw her all those years ago on the balcony in that trip
>feel so connected and in love with her, like we were meant to be together and this was the start of something amazing
>that was a good day
>>
Walter Funningpidging - Thu, 13 Feb 2020 08:48:16 EST Xl+QD8On No.158842 Reply
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YEEZUS, THE BARF AND THE RIVER DRAG

>but that good day did not last. at all. that was the last of the happiness for a really fucking long time
>that love for life from the dxm trip faded slowly and life went back to being one miserable, grey, empty day after the next
>try dxm a few times and just vomit everytime
>drink and take dph to take the pain of existence away
>all my life I felt like people are watching me
>as a child I thought that all the horrible things that happened to me were because my life was a tv show that people liked to watch and that was why bad things happened to me
>these feelings went away for a few years but now they were coming back and with a vengeance
>feel like I am in some crazy tv show and everyone around me are actors
>they're all plotting to torture and humiliate me
>there is nothing I can do to escape
>I say this with all sincerity, do NOT mess with dph if you think you have any real mental health issues
>I did and it was like pouring petrol on a fire
>before this yellowtext I was abusing dph and alcohol just to cope with the hallucinations and delusions that were returning and becoming more and more prominent in my sober life as a result of being confronted by some childhood trauma
>had no one to talk to, no way to escape and no idea how else to cope
>I cut back majorly for a few months, then completely stop drinking and taking dph for a fortnight to try clean myself up
>still feeling like people are watching me all the time
>hear people talking about me
>one day in particular on the bus home
>spend the entire ride home terrified of the guy sitting behind me watching me
>let's call him Piano
>he's talking loudly on the phone in another language about how excited he is to follow me home and rape me
>he says loudly into his phone that he is so turned on by how frightened I am
>for some reason I can understand his made up language and everything he is saying but no one else can
>he's laughing and going into great detail and everyone else just thinks he's some guy on the phone
>I am too terrified to get off the bus
>he says I didn't get off at my stop because I thought I could get away from him
>says it only makes his penis harder
>he announces loudly to his friend on the phone "it doesn't matter, I'll just go to his house later hahaha I can't wait to rape this stupid little cunt!! I fucking looove my job!!!"
>paralyzed with fear
>don't move until the bus does it's whole loop past my house and back to the interchange
>have to get off at the interchange
>mind you I am dead fucking sober during this whole hallucination and haven't touched drugs for a fortnight, and it's been months since I used anything in a large amount because I realised I was starting to lose my mind
>call my housemate Yeezus, crying and pretend I fell asleep on the bus and I don't have any money to get the bus home and ask him to please please pick me up
>his friend picks me up and takes me home
>she drops me off and I walk into the house
>Yeezus and his girlfriend, let's call her Sunflower, just stare at me
>they say something but I cannot understand what they are saying
>I can't make any fucking sense of what they're saying
>I can't talk clearly
>I'm really scared and I just want to be alone
>I glance at Sunflowers laptop
>notice she is logged into my bank account and is taking out a $20k loan
>in hindsight I have no fucking idea how this made any sense, I just somehow knew
>I go to my room and I can hear them talking about me
>Sunflower says "I fucking hate that stupid cunt. I am so fucking happy we met Piano!! I'm paying him half now for scaring the shit out of anon on the bus, and the rest later tonight when he finishes the job! haha I'm paying him with anons money too because I hacked his account!! Piano says he's going to wait until anon is asleep, and then he's gonna tie him down nice and tight in his sleep, rape him, and he'll even set his feet on fire! The fire's an extra bonus, what a professional!!"
>I am sat on the same bed as the original trip yellowtext, fucking terrified listening to all this
>I can't think or do anything
>I'm so very frightened
>They laugh about how funny it was that they paid their friend to pretend to be Wonderland to catfish me and pretend to like me for their amusement
>"he's so pathetic, I can't believe he fell for that!!"
>I never spoke to Wonderland again and to this day I question whether she is real when she posts on social media
>I regret this deeply
>some hours pass and I can still hear Yeezus and Sunflower talking
>Sunflower is crying
>she says she's changed her mind. she doesn't want Piano to atttack me anymore
>she's arguing with him on the phone on speaker in the next room
>Piano says she can't back down
>he says if she calls the cops or does anything to deny him his pleasure, or doesn't pay him the rest after the act he'll do the same to her
>Piano screams into the phone "I'll even throw the free feet fire in your deal too, because I'm a fucking professional, unlike you, you stupid little cunt!!" and hangs up
>Sunflower rushes to the toilet next to my room and starts vomitting
>Yeezus opens my door and asks me if I would like some dinner
>I say I'm all good and ask if Sunflower is okay
>"yea man, what do you mean?"
>"she sounds like she's throwing up pretty hard, is she okay?" I ask
>"what do you mean? she's not throwing up? are you okay, anon? you've been acting really weird tonight"
>"yea I'm okay. Hey man, for what it's worth, I'm really sorry I'm such a shitty friend"
>Yeezus has no idea what's going on. He doesn't know about the threats, Piano, anything. All he can see is his friend in the throes of a psychotic break and has no idea how to help
>"you're alright man, if you need anything, I'm here, just ask" he says and closes my door
>I spend the rest of the night frozen on my bed listening to Sunflower throwing up in the toilet
>I'm curled up in a ball on the floor crying, clutching a knife in my hands, waiting for Piano to burst through my window and rape me while my feet are on fire at any moment
>at sunrise I reach my breaking point after spending 12 fucking straight hours in the most terrified psychotic episode of my entire life
>I hold the knife over my heart but I can't bring myself to plunge it into my chest
>thank fuck I didn't try, there is no way that would do anything more than really shit up my day and probably my carpet
>I open my draw and pull out the 1000 count bottle of 50mg dph
>I pour handful after handful of those little pink pills into my mouth and swallow it with water
>I would have eaten somewhere in the neighborhood of 5 to 20 FUCKING GRAMS of dph
>as you would expect, I had a very fucking awful time after that




All of these stories are real. With the obvious bits that were hallucinations, delusions and drugs all pointed out. The names and some details have been blurred for privacy. Ask me anything.
>>
Martha Febbledale - Fri, 14 Feb 2020 17:12:06 EST rURiN+tk No.158844 Reply
>>158842
Really interesting stories, however I'm a bit skeptical about your final DPH "5-20 grams" binge. Like, I can imagine that you survived 5 grams with an extreme tolerance although this would likely cause permanent damage ; but 20 grams? This is impossible period.
>>
Emma Ballerson - Fri, 21 Feb 2020 05:37:15 EST xbNaQ5oo No.158861 Reply
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>>158844

I vaguely remember that I involuntarily threw up as it started to take effect which I think ultimately saved me. I also had several seizures, and those are just the ones I was conscious for. I blacked out a couple of DAYS and did some very serious permanent damage with HPPD, not to mention the delirious rampage I went on while blacked out, and the reckless, apathetic and self destructive nihilistic haze that lasted several months afterwards. To this day I am still grateful and completely unsure how I survived. I often struggle with the derealization and depersonalisation from it all which has left me wondering whether I really survived and if everything is just me living out the final trip of DMT flooding my brain as I lay dying on the floor. I came out the other side somehow, but I'm not the same person I was before this experience.
>>
Barnaby Crunnerbut - Sat, 14 Mar 2020 11:41:59 EST 1W6L+5OC No.158908 Reply
>>158763

Oof man, I read all of your posts and I have to say I feel pretty traumatized right now. I am researching as much as possible before I try DPH or other deliriants, but I have to admit, I feel pretty discouraged right now.

How are you feeling by the way? Are you staying sober?
>>
Fiend !!1C9jE+w+ - Sat, 14 Mar 2020 16:37:16 EST rwvuBQVA No.158909 Reply
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>>158763
On one of my very early trips I saw a shadow dog on my bed. Like 5 years later this baby found her way into our lives. It took me a while to remember but one day I was like "Oh shit. You're that dog!" And true or not the resemblance is remarkable.

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