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Harm Reduction Notes for the COVID-19 Pandemic

Involuntary Detox

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- Sun, 13 Oct 2019 14:36:30 EST /AayXywU No.30665
File: 1570991790429.jpg -(1048962B / 1.00MB, 1200x437) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Involuntary Detox
Recently I IV'd 100mg of ketamine, my mother found me and ended up taking me to the emergency room. My K use is usually only once a month on a small binge, last month I fucked up and ended up ruining my stash and this month I got caught.
I'd previously used intranasal and intramuscular ROAs. Generally I used ket to combat depression, for which it would stave it off each month. My family are going to tighten down my finances now and ensure that I can't be spending money on drugs.
I don't know if I can make it without ketamine. It's not the chasing the high that gets me (although fuck, I do love holing), it's the lack of the antidepressant aftereffect that's going to get to me.
I work a shitty day job and each day it drains me out, by the time I've taken out time for transport, showering and food I have 3 hours left in a day. I used to buy my drugs online but sans what's already in my account I don't know if I can keep doing this.
I'm worried I'll go back to my shitty depressed state, stop going to work, stop enjoying things, stop eating properly, try suicide again.
Frankly, that's probably the way things are gonna go and the way things should be. It's not that I don't want to get better, I've tried talking to people and I just can't do it, and I've tried learning new skills but I just don't have the time any more to get beter and pay my rent. I think I'm just gonna shoot up some of my MDMA tonight for one last hurrah, then go drugless and wait until I can't bear it any more and throw myself off the tallest structure.
I don't want to live like that ever again. It's not living, it's worse that hell.
I should've just waited for everyone to go to bed and IM'd the stuff. Fuck. My family aren't really the understanding type when it comes to this, the bottom line to them is that the illegal thing is bad and the legal thing is good.
I don't ever want to feel like that again, where my only goal is surviving until I fall asleep. I couldn't even do it financially any more. I guess I'm lucky to have made it this far and it's my own fault for not being more careful.
Apologies for blogpost, kinda hoping there's someone else here who knows what it's like to stop using an effective antidepressant drug.
I think this is it for me. It's been a good run, if I'm lucky I can pick up again within the next few weeks and squeeze out another month or so but if I start spiralling out again that'll be it for me.
>>
Samuel Sedgeluck - Mon, 14 Oct 2019 13:58:26 EST Aqt6kib3 No.30666 Reply
>>30665
Hey - your post really resonated with me! I completely get the feelings you have - looking into a bottomless pit and thinking why do I even exist? But I do also think you can get past this too! It may not feel like it right now, but your parents clamping down is probs exactly what you need to climb out the other side man! Opiates are my downfall drugs wise - I used to get stuff online, but my wife literally opens my mail these days to make sure I ain't relapsing. At first I kinda felt pissed about that, but with some reflection time I realised I couldn't control shit myself. So there goes that privelage of personal privacy lol. At the end of the day, your family / friends - whoever's they are and however they are dealing with it are just helping you. It just never feels like it when things like that happen. I dunno what else legal medication wise you've already tried in the past, but I do suggest you keep digging into your mind and try to understand what's making you feel this way. At least use the sober time to clearly think what you wanna change anyway.... There's loads to get out of life - it's just some of use get lost in the fog for a while you know? But fog eventually clears! Shit will get better for you - but let others close to you in, let them help - because it sounds like they absolutely care! Some people dont have that, so there's a positive for ya! Feel free to keep posting here too. Doing anything in life is better than quitting!
>>
Charlotte Follermid - Thu, 24 Oct 2019 07:56:27 EST KT4l2M2v No.30680 Reply
Bumping with positive love, holy fuck guys. You've got to stop.
>>
Frederick Clablingcocke - Wed, 30 Oct 2019 06:41:04 EST 668DoxTP No.30693 Reply
>>30665
Have you tried going on legitimate antidepressants before? I would’ve for sure ended my life if I wasn’t on Wellbutrin and Lamotrigine. Obviously these meds work differently for everyone and the trial and error process is complete ass, but it changed my life. Those are legal and generally accepted by family members too if you say you need to see a psychiatrist due to depression.

Nightmares from lack of alcohol

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- Thu, 19 Sep 2019 17:51:05 EST wobK5M0V No.30631
File: 1568929865564.jpg -(2496595B / 2.38MB, 4032x3024) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Nightmares from lack of alcohol
So I’m trying to drink /booze/ like a normal person (aka not a 6 paclk+ everyday), but I keep having nightmares. I don’t have any obvious signs of withdrawal while awak, but while sleeping I almost have night terrors, when this has never happened to before. I went to bed sober, but I eventually was making a ton of whimpering noises in my sleep and as I screamed I woke up (or my girlfriend woke me up). I keep having different dreams WIS out my parents moving (which my dad did move a few months ago); I assume this my brains way of dealing with it since it’s been pickled for almost a year. Is there anything to ease these dreams without drinking or suppressing sleep states?
>>
John Gennerfoot - Fri, 20 Sep 2019 18:29:49 EST oEP0+VWz No.30632 Reply
>>30631

going thru same thing here. once i hit about 5 days of no drinking the nightmares kick in. i think its just the surge of CNS activity that has been repressed for so long. just get through it man. i find smoking tons of weed helps me.
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Simon Fecklechetch - Sat, 21 Sep 2019 08:35:26 EST oZqRBPtl No.30634 Reply
Just stop, you'll have to stop anyway when you're older.
>>
Charles Fingerlack - Mon, 14 Oct 2019 14:42:28 EST Pg9lEj+3 No.30668 Reply
>>30631
It will get better, try sticking to a regular sleep schedule and not eating late at night

DXM & Life

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- Thu, 12 Sep 2019 17:35:04 EST Llutud8H No.30618
File: 1568324104716.png -(33357B / 32.58KB, 1200x869) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. DXM & Life
I am right now a felon on probation. The focus of my life is getting high, I was clean for a long time which I spent in jail, but after getting out I was so agonizingly bored every day just vaping and drinking loads of coffee that I started getting high again.

Somehow probation thinks that I'm using DXM and I went to court and they discussed how they're going to find a way to test me for it now. I took one urinalysis so far on probation and they didn't tell me if it detected anything, but a week after this they're now concerned that I'm doing DXM. My use was for about 3 1/2 years dosing multiple times every single day until I got locked up. I'm not sure when or how they're going to test me again but I really want to get high again.

I took the urine test 9 days ago, I don't know if they saved it or if that's even possible. If they send it out I can almost guarantee something will be detected in it because I was using every day leading up to the test.

Can I actually get away with this? (It seems like I could have until whatever happened to make them suspicious) I'm so bored every fucking day and can't enjoy anything unless I'm high. Going to jail put me in a low energy state every day where I just drifted through the time not paying attention to anything or ever getting excited. I feel like I have to stop but I just want to get high again. When I'm high I don't even care if I go to prison or back to jail. I feel like it's my life and this is how I want to live it. I lost my girlfriend and my friends during the time I was locked up and I'm not that good socially and not only do I feel like I have nothing to offer a woman but I'm worried that I can't even trust one, especially considering I don't have a bunch of shit to offer them.

The only ways I can think of that probation found out I was getting high is the urine test I took had false positives or something, or that they're just suspicious for whatever reason, or this methhead who I mentioned my DXM use to is actually a rat. I was in jail with him and I thought I could trust him so I did communicate with him and mention that I was worried about the urine sample I gave because I was using DXM.

Not sure what to do but I don't really give a shit about anything.
>>
Frederick Hallyford - Mon, 30 Sep 2019 23:44:17 EST s+FWobjZ No.30646 Reply
1569901457812.jpg -(29559B / 28.87KB, 300x300) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>30641
>You should set yourself a long term goal that doesn't include getting high.

CBD Flower and Urine Testing

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- Sun, 29 Sep 2019 23:50:42 EST DPbQlu6S No.30645
File: 1569815442030.jpg -(96506B / 94.24KB, 960x674) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. CBD Flower and Urine Testing
How many grams would one have to smoke to be dirty for THC if the CBD THC content is <0.3% THC? I get drug tested for THC and their cutoff levels are 50ng/ml. I have smoked about 7g or so this past week. What would the levels of THC be around in my system after that? Any equations to use?

I plan on testing myself tomorrow after passing a UA about a week ago after smoking around 7g of marijuana a week prior. Just curious if anyone has failed for CBD hemp flowers?

benzo withdrawl seizures

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- Sun, 25 Aug 2019 14:52:27 EST fqWp9Swl No.30586
File: 1566759147773.jpg -(127354B / 124.37KB, 409x409) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. benzo withdrawl seizures
Anyone else currently sitting on edge anxious they might take a fit any day?

I had two within 24hrs following abrupt withdrawl from mickymouse xannies a year ago and i'm still scared

becuase i recently started taking diazepam last few weeks like an idiot and didnt think about the kindling effect now i wait

Did anyone else experience fits after benzo? Did you get any prodromal features/Auroas (Hallucinations, tastes, smells, weird feelings, visuals?)
>>
Edwin Fattingstock - Sat, 28 Sep 2019 13:47:25 EST WwNHcspJ No.30642 Reply
>>30586

going through medical taper right now. Having a seizure is one of my biggest fears atm. Did you have to go to the hospital? I don't even known what to do if I have one
>>
Martha Feshridge - Sat, 28 Sep 2019 17:07:47 EST fqWp9Swl No.30643 Reply
>>30642
if you have a grand-mal tonic-clonic seizure, you won't be aware. You might or you might not have an aura/prodromal symptoms (For me I had a metalic taste, weird sense of deja-vu, impending doom, tinnitus)

In general the best thing you can do is make sure youre not isolated and someone is in the house if you're having a shower or bath for example, avoid swimming, avoid driving for a few weeks if you at all can.

I didn't have any more seizures and its been about 14 months - from what I understand the most risky stages are literally in the weeks to a month or two after you stop the benzo depending on the half life and dose/duration. Avoid stimulants and even ADD meds if you at all can, try to get sleep and try not to be stressed and do insane amounts of exercise, try to stay hydrated and eat!
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Thomas Pidgedock - Sun, 29 Sep 2019 11:53:16 EST yFG+aegz No.30644 Reply
If you have the tonic colonic smoke the phonic chronic.

Dependence on trivial downer doses

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- Thu, 22 Aug 2019 13:09:47 EST aIeHXNWL No.30579
File: 1566493787576.jpg -(12841B / 12.54KB, 300x225) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Dependence on trivial downer doses
I've been stuck in a loop that I don't really know what to think of. For about 5 years I've been taking therapeutic doses of opioids, benzodiazepines, gabapentinoids and/or z-drugs every day to sleep and to avoid mania. I rotate them so that I never bother my opioid receptors for more than 2 days straight, and try avoid benzodiazepines altogether.

Some recent example evenings:
  • 10mg ambien + 5mg kratom
  • 0.3mg buprenorphine + 2 beers
  • 10mg kratom + 1mg alprazolam

I've had sober breaks of up to a month, especially on holidays, but in order to keep a sleeping pattern and a sane mind that guarantee steady income, I feel like I need these drugs. Of course a doctor wouldn't prescribe every downer ever but I also want to rotate because clearly it's easier to take breaks when I'm not used to taking one drug every single day.

The thing is, I can't really travel without e.g. smuggling buprenorphine or choosing Amsterdam so I have kratom available. I can't see my girlfriend 7 days a week, because I need to dose. I want to move abroad but that's no choice with such a deeply rooted dependence.

How do I approach going forward about all this crap? I'm not old enough to pile up and to die in a fortress of drugs.
2 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
>>
Thomas Cleggleshaw - Mon, 23 Sep 2019 13:56:00 EST z3X4D7fJ No.30638 Reply
>>30637
Kirtaner if you're reading this, I would argue that word-filtering awteezm to enthusiasm doesn't do very good for the awteezm community
>>
Cedric Gugglehall - Tue, 24 Sep 2019 11:21:44 EST 9FMHkppO No.30639 Reply
1569338504006.jpg -(34753B / 33.94KB, 501x348) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>30637
It doesn't I agree, sadly there are 100 people using the term as a meme for each legitimate case. Holy shit though you sound exactly like me

I would work on travel too man. Been stuck in an almost identical loop of switching out drugs to sleep & function at work with almost the same issues, chiefly insomnia, RLS, GAD, Panic Disorder & something I forget the name of but my therapist said was 5 rungs below bi-polar

Hard to know what to say as I'm dealing with almost the same thing & have only been half successful in combating the issue. Basically I've got to the point where I'm sober half the month & on ambien / kratom / benzos / gabapentin the other half

Working out, pursuing hobbies, personal relationships without getting fucked up, friends that aren't bad for you, the same shit you hear but is worthwhile in the end. If you're anything like me which you seem you are then using these to combat real issues for so long has really compounded being addicted to them. It's too bad but something I could really use that'd help at least in my scenario is a time-lock medicine cabinet or some shit where I could keep myself from going overboard on medications I take
>>
Thomas Cleggleshaw - Tue, 24 Sep 2019 13:28:35 EST z3X4D7fJ No.30640 Reply
>>30639
Kitchen Safe is an affordable time-locked safe, I think it's exactly what you're looking for. It worked perfectly for few months for me, until I broke into it...

System Flush

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- Fri, 30 Aug 2019 17:11:42 EST odCFcTwF No.30591
File: 1567199502530.jpg -(33889B / 33.09KB, 480x360) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. System Flush
I never normally take bars. But yesterday (Thur the 29th) I took 2-2mg xanax my friend offered me just for fun, like I said I normally never take them Last time I did was maybe a week ago. Turns out I have a surprise test coming up on Tuesday September 3rd (it is currently friday btw and FYI I am 6'0" about 180lbs and have a high metabolism) What are my chances of pissing dirty by then? Should I start guzzling water and taking hot baths?
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Nicholas Fishforth - Sun, 01 Sep 2019 13:44:55 EST 5LtVcA/C No.30598 Reply
lmao that was pretty stupid. Drug test yourself.
>>
Augustus Dandledork - Thu, 05 Sep 2019 01:57:09 EST 7EQ3Ilr6 No.30609 Reply
>>30591
You normally never take them but took them a week ago? WTF?
>>
John Gennerfoot - Fri, 20 Sep 2019 18:31:54 EST oEP0+VWz No.30633 Reply
>>30609

that line jumped out at me too lol. sounds like OP is behind 9000 layers of denial

Weening off Pot and Dealing With Withdrawal

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- Sat, 17 Aug 2019 19:39:33 EST IM86YoNJ No.30567
File: 1566085173568.jpg -(11677B / 11.40KB, 113x125) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Weening off Pot and Dealing With Withdrawal
What is the best way to stop nightly usage and the least painful way to completely detox? Mornings are the worst for me, and I take 20mg of an SSRI daily (why I want to stop)z
1 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
>>
Walter Dackletot - Sun, 18 Aug 2019 19:21:29 EST Z6RxDAi2 No.30571 Reply
>>30570
You might have a few fucked up dreams for a while after. That's common but it's not hard. What Doris said will work and you'll be fine.

it's more that if you're used to being high your body has adjusted its homoestasis to compensate. Once you stop smoking you'll be a bit less hungry and your dreams will be vivid and weird an that will stop after a few days or weeks. Continue with your life as before pot aside and it's done.

If you're getting anything else it's not the pot that's the problems.
>>
Ernest Clayway - Tue, 17 Sep 2019 05:43:59 EST vnB9o3o5 No.30627 Reply
1568713439329.gif -(3886048B / 3.71MB, 460x320) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>30571
Can confirm very vivid and lucid dreams happening a few days into your T-Break. I will never forget the dream where I got to play D&D w/ snoop at his halloween party supply store.
>>
Graham Drobbleham - Thu, 19 Sep 2019 14:15:24 EST KIuSMo+d No.30630 Reply
With pot just give it away to someone or throw it out. If it's not around you won't smoke it.

Xanax WDs- How long can it last?

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- Sun, 18 Aug 2019 13:29:33 EST OvdHNUHp No.30568
File: 1566149373493.png -(732350B / 715.19KB, 1884x1080) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Xanax WDs- How long can it last?
I've tapered from 4mg+ to 0.5mg a day in roughly 4 months.

I've been taking Xanax for about a decade now. Needless to say I feel pretty terrible. I can't sleep even with exercise. I'm afraid I'll have a heart attack due to the constant major anxiety and lack of rest. It never stops. My mood is an absolute mess as well. I feel like crying 24/7.

What also scares me is the idea I've already gone back to normal since it has been 4 months. I've always been awfully anxious so this might be what sober life is going to be from now on.

Just how long can this last? I really hope this is still WDs otherwise I don't know how I'm going to survive this, both physically and emotionally.
>>
Betsy Manderdock - Sun, 18 Aug 2019 13:46:58 EST qTbkD5B5 No.30569 Reply
For me it was a year at least but I was on them for 10.
>>
Cyril Danningfoot - Thu, 19 Sep 2019 07:12:43 EST HDo0Qvdl No.30628 Reply
I was abusing etizolam for about 5-6 years and for the final 2 years of that it got up to 15-25mg per day. I didn't taper and had to quit cold turkey (save for 1 weeks worth of valium i got from a rehab doctor) and my withdrawals lasted well over a year. You're definitely still recovering so you have good reason to have hope that it will get better. Because it most certainly will.
>>
Jack Niblingmodging - Thu, 19 Sep 2019 12:16:28 EST fqWp9Swl No.30629 Reply
>>30568
Depends how long and at what dose you've been using it my man

I know it's not good to recommend replacing it with another substance as such but if you can, try to get hold of some pregabalin and take that for the withdrawls if you can?


What made you get clean

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- Mon, 19 Aug 2019 15:19:47 EST dpIO+886 No.30572
File: 1566242387427.jpg -(36396B / 35.54KB, 712x534) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. What made you get clean
For those who have long term sobriety, what was the catalyst and how did you find the motivation and steps to lead a better life?
6 posts and 3 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
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KB - Tue, 10 Sep 2019 11:41:12 EST ZASTjFXm No.30617 Reply
1568130072684.jpg -(52422B / 51.19KB, 640x640) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>30604 I think there are two of us oldies about 70yr old on this thread. In case you are asking me about regrets well, no I had a great time and would not have missed it for the world, so to speak. But then I was lucky to not have a conviction, never found guilty in court. Pure luck and thus from 40 years old rebuilt a life, probably luck again but it happened. I also learned a lot about myself in the years after quitting, not immediately but around the 25 year mark to now. I have friends who also got clean and ended up in the rehab field, not a lot because most people die eventually but some cleaned up and in general I think their theories are full of shit, but that's me maybe, cant be told anything. Dope still is fascinating and that's why I read High Times back in the day and 420 chan these days. As said in previous posts over in opiate discussions (now page six) I became a punk and reveled in the scene and music. Without the Heroin addiction I might not have done that. I was a trained dancer and would be listening to Stravinsky not Las Vulpress or Iggy Pop. Regrets,I think my life is pretty good, love my job.
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KB - Fri, 13 Sep 2019 05:01:31 EST ZASTjFXm No.30623 Reply
1568365291086.jpg -(69538B / 67.91KB, 714x520) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>30621 Dear Dorkette, I posted here because it's a detox board and secondly was asked a question and proceeded to answer it. Having detoxed off smack 30 years ago Occasionally I might say something but not often.

Synthetic Urine for Drug Test Help.

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- Mon, 02 Sep 2019 16:30:16 EST R2loQZ16 No.30603
File: 1567456216583.jpg -(56949B / 55.61KB, 699x1513) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Synthetic Urine for Drug Test Help.
Has anyone used synthetic urine for a drug test? Did you pass or were you caught? I'm on methadone and have been using again (fuck me right) for the past 3 weeks and have a random test sometime this month. I'm desperate and considering buying the synthetic urine they have at my local smoke shop. The tests are not monitored and I'm not even sure there is a temperature test on it, I piss in a cup and bring it back to the front desk and it gets shipped somewhere else for testing. Anyone have experience with this? Or any other methods for passing a urine test? I was gonna pour a tiny bit of methadone into the fake urine and hope it works.
>>
Cedric Cleblingstock - Thu, 12 Sep 2019 17:37:20 EST Llutud8H No.30619 Reply
>>30603
Sounds like a stupid idea to me. If they're only urine testing you there's a bunch of other drugs you could get away with doing.

Recovery

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- Fri, 06 Sep 2019 16:10:15 EST h7kQqvlo No.30612
File: 1567800615186.jpg -(29851B / 29.15KB, 720x712) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Recovery
I was told to come here because I want to post on a thread each day about my recovery from substance abuse.
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Reuben Blythehood - Sat, 07 Sep 2019 08:59:14 EST 9JPtlKo8 No.30614 Reply
how is it going? what supports have you got in place to help you through this? What is your action plan for when you feel like you are going to relapse?
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Oliver Credgedock - Sat, 07 Sep 2019 09:34:09 EST UjQ6AzP6 No.30615 Reply
Not OP, but I am also in recovery from opiates, including H - currently on Bupe maintenance. Oddly, I'm finding myself feeling like going on a binge, but not for Opi's, but for a stim of some sort! Obviously I know this would be a stupid thing to do, but that's on my mind a lot right now, despite not doing any stims for like 10 years! Anyway, hope you're doing ok OP - fell free to share experiences with us and any issues you're facing.

How fast does urine have drug dregs in it?

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- Thu, 05 Sep 2019 02:04:50 EST 7EQ3Ilr6 No.30610
File: 1567663490722.jpg -(1589833B / 1.52MB, 2880x2160) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. How fast does urine have drug dregs in it?
Is your piss immediately contaminated? I smoked some meth, forgetting to save some piss first and then went like 5 min later. I can submit the piss tomorrow if it's clean, but if not I have my next UA in 5.5 days. I I'll prob be clean by then as I'm just doing like .2 grams today and tomorrow, and if there's a little it's not the end of the world, as I'm on subs and they just make me step up the counseling in my MAT program.
Any advice greatly appreciated.

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