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Discord Now Fully Linked With 420chan IRC

I keep abusing drugs to be someone I'm not so that I can feel loved for once

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- Sun, 11 Feb 2018 11:33:05 EST /1qsLh2A No.29735
File: 1518366785313.jpg -(219615B / 214.47KB, 1024x1024) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. I keep abusing drugs to be someone I'm not so that I can feel loved for once
I just spent the past two days doing meth and oxy and benzos with someone I met on Tinder at their friend's place. I was clean for almost a year now. The girl was so sweet and nice to me, and we cuddled a lot, and were really intimate, and got along well, but we were high on meth and other drugs, so I know that's the only reason.

But, just for once, I felt so happy and normal and not anxious, and I finally got all the physical intimacy that I've never really had in my life. Somebody expressed that physical intimacy with me and I got to express it back, in such a comforting and deeply-fulfilling way. For those two days I felt so safe, and content, and okay, and I even loved myself, too. I finally just felt loved. And that's all I have ever wanted to feel.

The second I left their house, I just started sobbing uncontrollably and I continued to all the way on the drive home, and I still am crying, because I'm realizing now what I just did and I hate myself so much for it, especially after being clean for so long. I was doing so well and my friends were so proud of me for staying clean, but, fuck, I'm so plain and boring and empty and self-loathing by default, that it feels like without drugs the only things I ever do are work, eat, sleep, and hate myself in between. I cried because I knew I was going back to that when I got home - my empty apartment where I am always alone. I knew those two days of amazing, intimate love and happiness were over and the second that realization hit me I cried even harder.

I hate being alone so fucking much that I'll turn myself into someone I'm not by abusing drugs until someone will share love or intimacy with me, and I'm just always so afraid that I'm just always going to be alone and I'm never going to feel the way I just felt after that drug binge. I'm alone again right now, and I hate it so much. I just want to feel loved. I just want to be touched, hugged, held, and all that stuff, by someone I can trust and feel safe with. And the only time that has ever happened to me, I was on drugs.

I just don't understand why I need to be a fucking addict to ever feel loved by someone
Nathaniel Peddleshit - Tue, 13 Feb 2018 07:46:14 EST MMNwHn9l No.29739 Reply
You should find that intimacy you want without the drugs.

Its rough, birds of a feather flock together so a druggie is most likely to find someone who gets it among other druggies, which is something I struggle with myself trying to stay clean. The only people who get it are hoods.

Suboxone detox

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- Sat, 27 Jan 2018 04:42:32 EST mlKdKExn No.29704
File: 1517046152401.jpg -(94081B / 91.88KB, 700x879) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Suboxone detox
Day 3 is incoming. I've heard different accounts of how long it took to get off sub withdrawal, and they range from a week to a month. Yesterday I had a bit of a mental breakdown whilst in an NA meeting, but I made it without using (no cravings yet, haven't had cravings since rehab before I had a spiritual awakening which saved my life) And I just woke up at 3am. In the evening today it'll be 72 hours. It'll be at its worst physically soon I hope. I keep telling myself it's not as bad as heroin withdrawal, I've been clean off that for 5 months and now I've run out of suboxone. I've been weaning down for a few months now, and I was down to 1mg or less per day. No amount of preparation makes this any easier though. If I get through today, I can make it through the rest. I'll be refilling my remeron prescription today for sleep (hopefully it works) and mentally and emotionally I'm fine (most of the time)

Compared to heroin withdrawal this is child's play, but it still is no joke. I've been able to get decent sleep so far, but who knows how the rest of it is going to play out. Anyone else get off this shit? I also have a possession case coming up in court for heroin, but I have a lawyer, I've been to rehab, I've been going to meetings several times a week for months, and my sponsor is willing to come to court as a character witness if necessary, so sentencing should be minimal.
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Ebenezer Publingbud - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 10:26:06 EST O4QqnIeq No.29713 Reply
It differs from person to person. But, I know what you mean. You do have to come off it sometime right? People are too scared to take that last step when they already know it's going to happen anyway.

Glad the worst is over for you. Now, it should be smooth sailing from here on out. Keep the good work up and don't give in to temptation whenever it may arise.
George Gammershaw - Sat, 10 Feb 2018 06:31:21 EST SSy6poVj No.29732 Reply
1518262281884.gif -(105208B / 102.74KB, 1200x531) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
I thought the thread title was"suboxone diet."

Best liver support supplements

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- Sat, 03 Feb 2018 18:33:56 EST wBRWJkvj No.29720
File: 1517700836516.jpg -(26413B / 25.79KB, 183x275) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Best liver support supplements
I like my drugs
Mainly alcohol and cocaine off a weekend

Been doing it for the last 10 years

Now I still look fresh because I go the gym and eat healthy drink lots of water.

But i know the amount I take will take its toll on my body over the years.

So with that in mind what supplments should o take.

I know of milk thistle.Some people think it's a meme others espicaly juice heads think it works.I tried it once (well a full bottle) and I think it helped but I hardly get hangovers any way.

I've also read about liv 52 and NAC what's supposed to help with paracetamol over doses
The there is activated charcoal and ALA
Then there are then detox teas puka brand I have now and then (I actualy enjoy it)

Normally all I take though are them cheap vitamin b complex dissolve able tablets (like berrocas

So any way without going overboard and without stopping (I only really party or even drink every 2 weeks now) what should I take.

Any suggestions

Military Piss Test

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- Sat, 16 Dec 2017 01:22:04 EST E6B/Rrfx No.29627
File: 1513405324899.jpg -(4502B / 4.40KB, 288x216) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Military Piss Test
I got accepted into the United States Air Force and was told next Friday (the 22nd) I would take my physical. This includes a drug test. To celebrate I took 100mg of hydrocodone about 3 hours ago, knowing I won't be able to do any drugs once I'm in the military. My recruiter texted me 30 minutes ago and said the physical has been moved to Tuesday the 19th. Will the hydros be out of my system by then? I'm nervous.
2 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
I<3Jesus - Tue, 26 Dec 2017 23:24:17 EST L+zYr+DL No.29650 Reply
I would say there is a pretty good chance that the military will know about drug use if you speak about it on the internet.
Phyllis Sucklemick - Wed, 31 Jan 2018 07:49:28 EST rYIIdhhG No.29712 Reply
Thats bullshit man. I was in the military (didn't get kicked out just finished my contract) and I met so many guys who smoked weed, snorted coke and did steroids. Not sure what US Army is like but people still use drugs in the Canadian Army. It's just something that is kept on the downlow. Sometimes we get random drug tests but nothing ever comes out of it.

Not telling OP to do drugs and go nuts as a new recruit but you'd be surprise. I remember doing my infantry training course and on the weekends doing 8balls of coke and smoking weed.

Don't be so paranoid.

So can I drive

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- Sun, 21 Jan 2018 14:59:22 EST /aw9jl4Z No.29697
File: 1516564762464.png -(79870B / 78.00KB, 640x1136) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. So can I drive
If I've taken 10-15mg Valium the night before ?
Ebenezer Dunningmudge - Sun, 28 Jan 2018 17:46:12 EST Kkh2V26L No.29707 Reply
Have you taken it before let alone that much? Likely OK but if you ask, you would likely just fall asleep from it and nothing more.


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- Tue, 23 Jan 2018 07:57:19 EST NquTJ457 No.29699
File: 1516712239659.png -(141030B / 137.72KB, 1366x768) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. test!!!
How do u know if someone has posioned you wil lead arcinc "spelled wrong" or cyinide?? I think somone in the hotel is releasing it into the air it is either the weird white front desk guy or someone in the neighboring rooms idk man who is doin this?
Edwin Ponderman - Wed, 24 Jan 2018 00:54:59 EST G2iYEKXR No.29701 Reply
youre better off calling your local authorities for an immediate response


Anxiety off weed

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- Wed, 27 Dec 2017 08:56:10 EST xSQ3CYRT No.29656
File: 1514382970338.jpg -(53993B / 52.73KB, 770x432) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Anxiety off weed
I’ve been smoking for two years each night and I stopped cold turkey about over a month ago. Among other issues I have depression and anxiety and I made the decision because I didn’t think it was a good idea to smoke. Just got to a point where I couldn’t do it anymore (weekends being the exception)

Things are clearer but I feel more anxious and moody lately and it’s scaring me. Can anyone relate to this or provide advice?
5 posts and 1 images omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Angus Snodwater - Thu, 28 Dec 2017 00:58:07 EST Miuyj/+F No.29668 Reply
Yeah weed is very easy to quit. I don't think you have withdrawals, although I have heard rumors that heavy smokers can get them, I think they are bullshit.

What I think is going on is that you've spent so long in that comfy blanket of 11-OH-THC that you've forgotten what it's like to be completely sober:

Cold, stark and crisp.

I'm also assuming you started smoking every day for a reason in the first place.
Phoebe Fuckingman - Thu, 28 Dec 2017 17:01:53 EST /19boi00 No.29670 Reply
1514498513988.jpg -(29401B / 28.71KB, 500x719) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.


Quitting daily use of any mind-altering drug and entering sobriety is bound to give anyone up's and downs and cause them trouble regulating their emotions for awhile.

You have to find a new way to help you cope with life because your brain has gotten used to the pattern of 'feel bad - get high - feel good'. You can try 'feel bad - meditate - feel better', 'feel bad - exercise - feel better', 'feel bad - meeting - feel better' or 'feel bad -fuck - feel better' or anything you can think of to supplement smoking weed with.

Hair Drug Test

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- Wed, 27 Dec 2017 19:23:05 EST wsckM8Au No.29666
File: 1514420585020.jpg -(12421B / 12.13KB, 411x283) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Hair Drug Test
Just got my CDL, truck driving licence. Every company I look into does Hair drug testing. My hair is very long, been growing out for 5years, during those 5 years I dabbed everyday. Just quit 3 months ago. Do I need to shave my head to pass a hair test?
Angus Snodwater - Thu, 28 Dec 2017 00:52:05 EST Miuyj/+F No.29667 Reply
Those sneaky fuckers typically take a hair from your arm to circumvent that.
You need to shave everything, including your eyebrows, and show up to the job interview completely hairless.

Tramadol without withdrawals

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- Sun, 31 Dec 2017 05:24:39 EST 4pImkNFk No.29672
File: 1514715879672.gif -(1702156B / 1.62MB, 500x500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Tramadol without withdrawals
How much and how often can someone take Tramadol without worring about withdrawal symptoms? I got some for my back pain and about 100-150mg taken at evening is both pleasant and takes away my pain.
Can I continue with this dossage for a few days or will it give me withdrawalls at the end?
Frederick Dodgedet - Sun, 31 Dec 2017 16:44:04 EST OluZ9VzI No.29675 Reply
I've had wd's from as little as 3 weeks of use, but that was extremely heavy use. Probably 300-400mg's a day throughout the day and night(took them around the clock for pain). If you use as much as you're using once a day you probably won't notice anything.

Tramadol withdrawals are pretty mild overall and for me they were always gone after 4 or 5 days. The only symptoms I remember were skin crawling and premature ejaculation(detox dick nawmsayin) as well as an overall sense of discomfort and fogginess.

If you have depression or anxiety it could get much worse during wd's but that goes for pretty much any drug.

Urine test

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- Wed, 27 Dec 2017 00:30:45 EST aiwpE0HC No.29652
File: 1514352645174.jpg -(26068B / 25.46KB, 1000x625) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Urine test
So I applied for a job at a company which I just discovered does urine tests to new employees. I finished college last semester and I still haven't found a job so I've been smoking pretty much daily for the entirety of this semester. Assuming I get hired, I can't imagine the test being any day past Jan 15. How fucked am I?
Henry Singerwill - Wed, 27 Dec 2017 00:31:28 EST aiwpE0HC No.29653 Reply
PS. Im bored af right now and I kinda want to smoke but I know that would be very stupid
Wesley Parryford - Wed, 27 Dec 2017 11:45:37 EST QLpUWLw3 No.29662 Reply
You're fucked, this is why it's generally considered a good rule of thumb to go clean for a month before even beginning your job search.
Thomas Billingson - Thu, 28 Dec 2017 02:06:33 EST aiwpE0HC No.29669 Reply
that's a thing? I've never even heard of any companies around here doing urine tests before

Methadone Withdrawls

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- Tue, 26 Dec 2017 23:39:35 EST L+zYr+DL No.29651
File: 1514349575602.jpg -(78883B / 77.03KB, 960x540) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Methadone Withdrawls
Hello there. I am looking for information on Methadone withdrawls, not regarding myself but on behalf of others.

I have heard a person won't die simply from methadone withdrawals but could it trigger a crisis with another part of someone's body? I've also heard that methadone destroys your body while you take it.

Looking for important advice and warnings about methadone withdrawals and such things as these.

I am a noob. What is the easiest way to get into a detox facility?

Thanks for any help!
George Bunridge - Wed, 27 Dec 2017 01:01:19 EST Miuyj/+F No.29654 Reply
Before you get someone who knows what they are talking about to reply to your thread:

Iirc you can't die from opioid withdrawals. Lethal withdrawals are afaik reserved for benzos, barbiturates and alcohol.

The half-life of methadone is fairly long though, so the withdrawal will probably be protracted, if also come on more slowly.

CBD/Hemp cannabinoid Vape

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- Thu, 14 Dec 2017 11:40:40 EST Xoqv1zvi No.29624
File: 1513269640557.jpg -(14865B / 14.52KB, 350x425) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. CBD/Hemp cannabinoid Vape
So. I'm on probation. This shit is legal.
I am hoping for this to work as a tobacco substitute, as I smoke like a friggin chimney when I don't have my herb.
Jane's started makin me lazy and hazy n so on, you know the drill lads.
Anyone ever tried stuff like this?
I'm hoping it will give me a short cerebral high as I've gotten a lot of times smoking leaves/trim/or bud used for dab.
I will add my review on this shit once I get it, which will hopefully be tomoz.
Also I def recommend for my lads with cravings out there! <3
3 posts omitted. Click View Thread to read.
Walter Snodford - Tue, 19 Dec 2017 05:41:18 EST Xoqv1zvi No.29638 Reply
So, I am using this to quit cigarettes.
Day 1. 4 hours in.
I can feel me being a little lethargic and grumpy, nonetheless this shit's EASY.
I will sub the vape for CBD coconut oil later, switching cig addiction, with vape CBD, then into oral CBD.
Atleast I'm swapping it with healthy shit.
Wish me L U C K lads.
Walter Snodford - Tue, 19 Dec 2017 05:58:40 EST Xoqv1zvi No.29639 Reply
But I just wanna add that I started cigs again because I had to quite the tokes.
So if you're in the same boat, try this shizzle out bruv.
Walter Snodford - Tue, 19 Dec 2017 09:03:18 EST Xoqv1zvi No.29640 Reply
How about shut your kazooey.
I am Z O O T E D.
Definitely recommend for my lil fags out there who are too paranoid to use the DM's.
This definitely scratches an itch.
Obviously won't get you head high as it has no THC/very little, so no psychoactive.
But sure gets you stoned.

Synthetic Urine.

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- Mon, 28 Aug 2017 14:22:41 EST d66Wqn5W No.29447
File: 1503944561303.jpg -(39584B / 38.66KB, 930x619) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Synthetic Urine.
Will it work for a drug test? Been reading some good things online and I wanted to hear a few personal experiences here.
Frederick Shittingcocke - Mon, 20 Nov 2017 12:48:20 EST WO34i1Mj No.29579 Reply
i got a sanitation job with my brother, i used (someones) real pee
he used synthetic, both of us passed. So im going to say yes, just make sure you got the "latest version" or some shit. i remember him saying some shit like that and how important it was.
Thomas Shittingworth - Sun, 17 Dec 2017 09:10:37 EST skzaF7q9 No.29633 Reply
I used clear choice prank urine test twice at quest and it worked both times. Strapped the bottle to my leg with a thermacare. Didnt use the heat activator

the self disgust of relapsing

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- Wed, 13 Dec 2017 06:26:59 EST pHsWgtaT No.29621
File: 1513164419801.jpg -(102974B / 100.56KB, 1080x1080) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. the self disgust of relapsing
after coming to the conclusion that I need a long break from drugs for my mental health, I continued to abuse weed, oxy, xanax, pcp, ritalin, and 4-ho-mipt for three months under the clouded logic that by clearing my stash I 'm doing myself a favour
looking back, I feel not only disappointment in my lack of willpower but a large amount of self disgust by going against my own inner voice and consciousness

it feels like I've set myself back even further with my depression and dp/dr, creating even more anxiety and tarnishing my relationship with psychedelics

will this feeling pass the longer I stay sober?
how does /detox/ deal with relapsing and the like?
Fuck Dezzlekore - Wed, 13 Dec 2017 23:43:59 EST /19boi00 No.29622 Reply
If you're abusing that many substances it's going to be hard to quit them all at once or even to quit drugs all together at first. You might want to think about getting on some kind of medically supervised drug regime to get you over the rocky emotional stage that will haunt you after the acute withdrawals subside and then re-assess.

It sounds like you bought into the classic all or nothing mindset that is impeding a successful transition into sobriety. No one can tell you what you've been suppressing with your poly-substance use, but if you're doing drugs 24/7 like that there's a good chance you might be suppressing an underlying disorder or trauma by staying high all the time. You might feel suicidal, you might have flashbacks from previous trauma, you might be bi-polar or have some personality disorder, but you will probably need some kind of medication to deal with sobriety for awhile if not in the long run.

Don't believe anyone that says you can just quit using drugs and be totally fine in a couple months lol, some people are self-medicating and you might be one of them without even knowing it. Some people really are just dealing with a substance use disorder(plain addicts) but alot of people have other mental issues that surface after they quit doing drugs.
Nathaniel Genningson - Thu, 14 Dec 2017 15:04:10 EST 7XdoapNm No.29625 Reply
I don't want to start an argument, and I completely believe in the idea that there is no one absolute way to recover.

Different people recover in different ways, and I have found that the only thing that works for me is NA.
If you truly want to quit and improve your life, you owe it to yourself to try every possible option. NA, or AA for that matter, is not for everyone. I get that.
Some people absolutely benefit more from Suboxone maintenance, Smart Recovery, church, IOP, other support groups, or just plain abstinence and self will.

Everyone is different, but as has been said before in this thread, many addicts deal with trauma and other mental disorders, and different methods offer different ways of dealing with these dual diagnoses.

Again, I'm not trying to start an argument, but I really feel like everyone deserves a happy and healthy life, and for many addicts the only way to gain that is by exploring your options.

Best of luck OP, you can do this.

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