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Harm Reduction Notes for the COVID-19 Pandemic


- Sun, 03 Jun 2018 13:28:12 EST cXy+on2h No.29922
File: 1528046892369.jpg -(46912B / 45.81KB, 357x357) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. BWS 3
Last one stopped bumping.

It's been 2 weeks since I started my suboxone taper. I'm doing good. Just taking everything day by day.

I've been in therapy for 1 month already. I've made quite a bit of progress in such little time. I feel better about myself and am becoming emotionally and mentally stable for once in my life. I'm starting to realize my potential as a person who can achieve anything as long as I can see it. Seeing is achieving. The mind is what you create.
Drunk Junk (ie) - Sun, 03 Jun 2018 19:23:11 EST JZd7MAiM No.29923 Reply
It's sad that on most boards the "bump while fucked up" threads are among the most commented threads on the board but not here. I guess this is a board for designed for drug users too, not necessarily for people revovering from those drugs, there are other chan-style sites for recovery. This website being based off drug use ONLY and NOT RECOVERY is what inittialy drew me to the site, but i digress. I have been clean from whatever form of fentanyl is flooding the streets for almost 2 months now; first month was a lot harder, a lot more boredom than expected, just less exciting i suppose. Much respect friend, it is one hell of a chore and requires some strong will power and resolve.
James Siffingwill - Sun, 03 Jun 2018 19:33:49 EST cXy+on2h No.29924 Reply
Yeah I agree.

Good job on staying clean for as long as you have. We both have chosen the right decision to stop being drug addicts and get our lives together. I think we can help each other and keep each other clean. I'll post my progress here like I've been doing. You should too so we can motivate each other.
Augustus Cigglechot - Sun, 03 Jun 2018 21:59:06 EST G2iYEKXR No.29925 Reply

Well, I've been mad vaping this entire day. Lying in bed for about 15 hours, feeling pretty mopey and awful. My situation isn't as bad as others here but still I feel so low and depressed without any fun drugs.

Currently, the big hurdle right now is staying off etizolam and weed, but I'm also stopping caffeine and diss
Augustus Cigglechot - Sun, 03 Jun 2018 22:01:49 EST G2iYEKXR No.29926 Reply
May I ask what are the other chans that have something like a detox board? Detox is pretty slow so I want read about the struggle of other posters going through similar things
Cornelius Femmerhore - Mon, 04 Jun 2018 08:06:28 EST cXy+on2h No.29927 Reply
I think you are heading in the right direction. But, as far as I go I still smoke weed and that's the only drug I do. Maybe you should focus on getting clean from everything and smoke weed for the time being to keep yourself good. Then quit after you've gotten clean from everything else. That's my plan at least. Did weed have any medicinal value to you?

I've been vaping for almost 2 weeks now as well brah. I use to smoke 2 packs a day. Now, I vape and limit myself to 5 cigs a day. Going to keep weaning myself down to none and only vape. My lungs already feel better. I'm not throwing up every morning like I use to. I can breathe better too. We will both thank ourselves when we get through our detox off of drugs and become clean and sober. Good luck man.
Augustus Cigglechot - Mon, 04 Jun 2018 08:59:02 EST G2iYEKXR No.29928 Reply
Honestly, I have thought about that, and although I love blazing it, weed contributes to my downfall. It makes me lazy and antisocial and between the periods when I don't toke, I get very moody and depressed, not to mention the loss of appetite and insomnia.

It sure kills the boredom though, which is what it could help me with at the moment, but I think that is the issue I must deal with at this moment. Learn to be bored about everything for awhile so I can eventually enjoy other things that aren't drugs. I figure the best way to do this is to just embrace the cold crisp reality of things and give my mind a rest from pretty much everything. I know I still vape nicotine but it is my last crutch pretty much.

To each his own though, I know weed works well for a lot of people but I think in my situation, I need to find a way to train my brain to have mental stimulation all on its own.

>Did weed have any medicinal value to you?
Its a nice tool to reflect on life and am I being altruistic to my goals if I toke once in awhile. But toking all day every day at least for me, eventually ruins this effect and makes me stagnate.
Cornelius Femmerhore - Mon, 04 Jun 2018 09:28:08 EST cXy+on2h No.29930 Reply
Well if that's how you feel than more power to you. Weed and vape are my 2 last crutches. I smoke because of my mental illness. Weed helps with my bi polar disorder. But, one day I'd like to be able to quit smoking. But, before that I have to get my life together. When I have a job and am in school then I'll have no time to blaze which will be great.
Lydia Devingman - Tue, 05 Jun 2018 11:04:33 EST b8+TwUlu No.29932 Reply
1528211073437.jpg -(17334B / 16.93KB, 300x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
A month a go I posted tis:
>Drank bottle of whisky with a cigarette last night, but now Im clean until monday. I'm telling you my cigarette smoking days are over starting today, and I will drink much less from now on.
Im still off of cigaretttes, but been smoking meth for last 11 days straight. Boozing up with the meth ofc. Today I stopped smoking the meth but I feel terrible, I probably need to keep drinking for a few days to help with the withdrawals
Isabella Hovingbidging - Tue, 05 Jun 2018 11:45:16 EST KTmC5lib No.29933 Reply
Sober as fuck my guys. Just passed a year sober off of any opiates on the 25th of may (IV heroin was my drug of choice), and haven't used anything besides nicotine and caffeine for that whole year. Best of luck to everyone trying to get clean or stay clean.
Phineas Drungerforth - Tue, 05 Jun 2018 11:55:32 EST cXy+on2h No.29934 Reply
Congrats man! Damn, that must've been hard to get clean from. That's a huge feat bro and I bet you go far in life. What keeps you motivated to stay clean?
Isabella Hovingbidging - Tue, 05 Jun 2018 12:02:44 EST KTmC5lib No.29935 Reply
The first 6 months were definitely the hardest, but after a while my life started to return to normal, I feel like what keeps me motivated is just being able to enjoy a normal life without having to constantly have a supply of opiates to just get me through the day. I usually don't come on 420chan just because a lot of the people still somewhat glorify the use of drugs but I feel like it is helpful to come into threads like this and see what struggles people are going through in their early parts of sobriety and internalize that as to motivate myself to never have to return to that point. I never want to be back at that point of desperation and stuck in that viscous cycle again.
Phineas Drungerforth - Tue, 05 Jun 2018 13:43:04 EST cXy+on2h No.29936 Reply
Yeah I hear you. I never want to go back to opiates or any hard drugs for that matter except for weed. I'm starting to feel somewhat normal for once in a long time and I'm getting my head on straight. I have more self esteem and a bit more confidence now. I'm always trying to get out of my comfort zone so I can keep progressing emotionally mentally and spiritually. Meditation is a great tool to use for gaining insight with yourself and finding out who you truly are.
Fanny Blizzlehutch - Wed, 06 Jun 2018 12:13:04 EST cXy+on2h No.29938 Reply
Today makes 17 days since I started my suboxone taper. I'm doing good with it. I'm getting through this with no problems and I'm going to see this through all the way this time. I'm staying clean and not relapsing like I have done in the past. The difference this time is I'm getting help for my issues and I'm feeling better than I ever have in a very long time. I'm working on making life changes and turning over a new leaf. I know I have the potential to be a great person. I can feel it inside myself, spiritually. Meditation is helping me as well. I'm just taking one step at a time and taking things one day at a time. Slow or fast progression regardless, progress is a process. I'm enjoying it.
Oliver Gogglekat - Fri, 08 Jun 2018 22:44:15 EST ts+QUBMm No.29941 Reply
50 days off of pain killers. Some shit has gone down in my personal life. I've started drinking basically every night. Sometimes just a beer or two, sometimes it's a bottle of whatever. Been doing that for about a week now. The whole Anthony Bourdain thing bummed me out a lot today. Gonna go have a beer to him.
Albert Clarringhedge - Sun, 10 Jun 2018 12:37:10 EST cXy+on2h No.29942 Reply
Today makes 3 weeks since I've been on suboxone. Cant believe I've made it this far already. I'm proud of myself truly. After the 20th of this month I'm going down to 1mg. Everything is going smoothly as expected.
William Shakeshaw - Sun, 10 Jun 2018 13:26:13 EST 4pnt3DD+ No.29943 Reply
Run out of the little bit of hash I had and wasnt smoking much anyway. Quitting beer cause I dont wanna be fat. Just trying to be active, work and go on treadmill, as well as eating well. Just got some 5HTP in the post, 6 months worth. Feeling good right now after some exercise. Motivational ice cream might have made me feel like moving, so I guess thats the hardest stuff Im on, occasional cigar, think I need a bit of nicotine, but generally

Albert Clarringhedge - Sun, 10 Jun 2018 14:17:22 EST cXy+on2h No.29944 Reply
Going to the gym is so beneficial. I'm going back tomorrow and lose these last 25lbs I have on me. I started at 260lbs and now I'm at 195lbs. Cant wait to get back in there and fuck shit up. It's a good stress reliever too and builds your confidence and self esteem. It can also give you discipline if you dedicate yourself to fitness. This discipline can carry over into other aspects of your life if you know what you want for yourself. It's more than just working out and doing cardio. It's doing something that a lot of people cant do. For me personally, this is what is going to start me to eventually become the 1% that succeeds out of 99% of the world.
Phineas Blonnerstat - Mon, 11 Jun 2018 02:18:29 EST pMIIJ3fd No.29945 Reply
over 3 years (43 months) since I last used anything illegal. DoC was heroin, IV. Just hit a year since my last drink. Used to post pretty frequently between 2009 and 2012. I visit this board every now and then and was shocked at certain trips over at /opi/ still alive and kicking.

Anyway, life is good these days. Just wanted to post here in case anyone is kicking.
Angus Hillyhall - Mon, 11 Jun 2018 11:41:33 EST bloUNuF2 No.29946 Reply

I've got a drug test in a week from now. I've stopped smoking weed for about 4 days now, along with exercising regularly (sweating a LOT) and drinking fucktons of water. I've got some fake piss which I am 99.9% sure will work, but smuggling it in will be difficult, so I'm trying to just piss clean. If I continue in the same fashion for the next week, do you think I will pass? I smoked maybe a bowl or two a day on average for the past year, quit for about half of last year completely (along with more rigorous exercise and water drinking). Do you guys think I'll be clean by next week?

Matilda Moffingbit - Mon, 11 Jun 2018 17:38:58 EST cXy+on2h No.29949 Reply
3 years sober from H that you always IV'd on a regular basis takes a lot of fucking willpower to stop doing and staying away from. Goodjob with your sobriety, including kicking the drinking too. I have no issues with alcohol because I hate the taste of it, all liquors. Plus, my father is an alcoholic and he's basically a piece of shit and I wouldn't want to start going down the same path that he chose to walk down.
Shitting Fittingham - Wed, 13 Jun 2018 11:18:14 EST ts+QUBMm No.29950 Reply
55 days off painkillers, 3 days completely sober. Gonna try to go back to the "old days" when I'd only really drink on Saturdays. Hopefully it works out, haven't seen any withdrawals from drinking thankfully. Lifts continue to get better, but I have a nagging cold. BWS
Angus Pockdale - Sun, 17 Jun 2018 11:31:42 EST cXy+on2h No.29955 Reply
27 days since I started my suboxone taper. 3 more days and I'll be going down to 1mg everyday for the next month and then I'm done my taper. But, I know I'll have to deal with 2 weeks of RLS just like all the other times I used subs and got off it. But, for now I'm going to keep doing what I've been doing because I'm doing good.
Lillian Sablingback - Wed, 20 Jun 2018 16:38:45 EST wszRbaUe No.29960 Reply
1529527125208.gif -(706655B / 690.09KB, 400x225) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Only about a week sober from weed and I've relapsed a lil with caffeine(I know these are "Soft" drugs but the way I was using them was as a crutch for my personality disorder which wasn't healthy) shit sucks sometimes but it's getting better, just got a job too so I think that will help a lot.
Phoebe Hagglehall - Wed, 20 Jun 2018 17:48:14 EST cXy+on2h No.29962 Reply
Today makes 1 month, 30 days, since I started my taper. I've come a far way since day 1. Tomorrow I start taking 1mg for the next month and then I'm done
Jenny Fanstock - Sat, 23 Jun 2018 02:52:57 EST cXy+on2h No.29972 Reply
Thank you. Its been pretty easy for me so far. I'm changing my life and getting my shit together. I'm turning over a new leaf and becoming who I truly am. I'm meditating and getting therapy for my issues and demons. I'm looking into getting my GED and I'm taking classes to prep for it next month. It's time to take charge and gain control of my life. I'm ready to do this.

Are you currently getting clean from anything?
Hugh Trotgold - Sun, 24 Jun 2018 10:38:16 EST gijqVGxF No.29973 Reply
3 years clean here. Got clean after doing some stupid shit getting charged with six class 3 felonies; in my state they range from class 1 (worse) to 6 (least worst). I used all of my money to hire a lawyer and got plea deal for one misdemeanor charge if I completed probation so I wasn't gonna fuck that up and decided to get clean for real.

After the first year it gets way easier. I still have cravings, but they are mild and only pop after something REALLY shitty happens or I get very sick.

My main cope now that I'm done with probation is keeping busy, I'm working 4 jobs. it works I guess, but it's very stressful.
Barnaby Blollymeg - Sun, 24 Jun 2018 13:03:06 EST cXy+on2h No.29974 Reply
Good for you! Keep doing you bro. I've been on suboxone for 34 days and it's going good. I realize that when someone becomes sober they are more likely to succeed in life and do whatever it takes to achieve their goals. I bet you feel the same.
Ernest Goggleridge - Sun, 24 Jun 2018 20:07:14 EST ts+QUBMm No.29975 Reply
66 days off opiates. the past couple weeks have been okay, limited my drinking to Saturdays for the most part. started drinking at work, mostly because its a 10 hour saturday and a beer with lunch and before closing is the only way i can deal with that shit. bws
Hamilton Clucklefuck - Sun, 24 Jun 2018 20:25:06 EST cXy+on2h No.29976 Reply
I think you should quit drinking completely. Yeah, you drink one day out of the week. But, it's still a crutch since you expect yourself to drink on the weekends to deal with stuff.

Anyway, that's great you've been sober from opiates for this long. Keep it up!
William Sullyfen - Mon, 25 Jun 2018 17:52:34 EST fa1nAfW1 No.29977 Reply
Figured this is the best place to ask -

I had been sober for 2 years. I used opiates (IV heroin) for 2 days in a row (spread out over the course of 48 hours) and today I haven't used. I feel drained. Just tired, sore (partially from treating my body like a pin cushion) and beat. How long will this feeling last? I don't think it's withdrawal, I just feel crummy.
Charles Tillingforth - Tue, 26 Jun 2018 02:05:25 EST GcBCyvPk No.29978 Reply
I cant do it dudes. The Tramadol w/d is just too fucking much. I get to a point where I feel like I'm going to die from a seizure. How how how how does someone get off this shit without dying?
Hamilton Sonnerfuck - Wed, 27 Jun 2018 11:14:34 EST GcBCyvPk No.29984 Reply
Sorry. Spent the last 24 or so hours with nothing so was too sick to get back onto the computer. Found some hydros to help stabilize and have an appointment with a treatment center.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Ebenezer Puddlekine - Wed, 27 Jun 2018 12:19:12 EST cXy+on2h No.29985 Reply
Good for you. Taking that first step is the hardest thing. The hardest part is starting and you took that step. Stay positive and always believe in yourself. Give this path to sobriety everything you got. You can do it.

Yeah I'd love to see you track your progress here. Your experience with this can help someone else get sober.
Priscilla Pickworth - Sat, 30 Jun 2018 16:06:34 EST cXy+on2h No.29992 Reply
40 days since I started my suboxone taper. I have 3 weeks to go until I'm done with this. Cant wait to get this done and over with. This time I'm staying clean and I won't make the mistake of relapsing. My life is different now. So, I know I can do this as I'm so much more confident in myself and have faith in myself.
Eliza Chinnerhood - Fri, 06 Jul 2018 10:00:02 EST ts+QUBMm No.30016 Reply
78 days off opiates. had a lot of fun on the 3rd/4th. probably drank too much but everyone is still talking to me and said they enjoyed my company so i couldn't have been too awful. my craving for pills is starting to get a lot better, i've gone from wanting them constantly to thinking about them all the time to wishing i had them to wondering if i need them to just sort of wanting them to have, not so much get high with. drinking is still an issue maybe, but i feel im managing it a lot better than i ever did with pks. bws
Polly Clongerstock - Sun, 08 Jul 2018 15:59:19 EST cXy+on2h No.30020 Reply
Today makes 48 days since starting my taper. 12 days to go until I'm done. I am expecting to have restless legs for a couple weeks post taper. But, I've dealt with this quite a few times already. I can get through it. After that I'm totally clean from opiates and I have so many better reasons this time as to why I can stay sober and clean and never touch another painkiller ever again. I'm pursuing better things in life now and I'm much happier than I was 2 months ago. I'm turning my life around and I'm looking forward to each and every obstacle that comes my way since I'll grow as a person. After getting therapy for the past 2 months I can finally see that I can do anything that I put my mind too as long as I want it bad enough. I can finally see for the first time in over a decade that life has so much to offer.
Edwin Dankinteg - Wed, 11 Jul 2018 14:38:40 EST WUpiVnuf No.30027 Reply
Been 51 days now. About a week left to go until I'm finished and I plan on seeing this through even after I'm done with my taper. A lot of stuff has happened in the past 2 weeks. Time to be mature and grow up and put this all behind me and become a productive member of society.
Edwin Dankinteg - Wed, 11 Jul 2018 19:42:13 EST WUpiVnuf No.30029 Reply
Wow found out just now that someone I know OD'd. Hes in ICU and is on a respirator and hasn't regained consciousness. 80% chance he will die. It's a sad tragedy. But, he had it coming. I've known this guy for 3 years and now hes gone. What a shame.

This just reinforces the reasons why I decided to get clean and sober. I will never IV or use H or fentanyl. Never done either and I never will. I'm on the right path and after hearing the bad news about my friend it woke me up and opened my eyes. I must get clean and sober and I will.
Thomas Drabbleford - Mon, 16 Jul 2018 21:03:08 EST 3CI0Vaty No.30041 Reply

Im now in my second week without a true dose of suboxone. I ran out then i found some paper with a lot of residue from crushing suboxone pills on it, and ive been eating one litte piece of that a day (~0.05mg maybe less)

if i could get a few days off work id just stop entirely. but i can feel withdrawals, very minor but i know the feeling and the smell my body makes (or the way my nose perceives it ?). Ive been on Keto diet for 5 days now, eating very healthy to speed up detox, and i went on my second run today. i felt like i was dying, but it was an easier run than the one before it.

feels good to know im going to feel better and no longer be a slave to that orange devil.
Alice Gummlefud - Tue, 17 Jul 2018 03:43:42 EST fa1nAfW1 No.30044 Reply
2 days sober off of heroin. Short relapse. Missing a lot of work. Getting vivitrol on Thursday. Wishing you all to accomplish everything you’re meant to. You’re all strong. You’re all loved. Take care.
Priscilla Chenningmidging - Sat, 21 Jul 2018 20:06:32 EST E5tMjZ9O No.30059 Reply
34 more days until my medical marijuana card application gets approved. I've been sober for like a month now since the shit I bought in Colorado ran out and I've hated every minute of it. If only I wasn't a complete social recluse because of debilitating social anxiety and could buy weed from friends like a normal person...
Phineas Nallerville - Sun, 22 Jul 2018 05:12:27 EST hefCvn/W No.30060 Reply
>A lot of stuff has happened in the past 2 weeks. Time to be mature and
>grow up and put this all behind me and become a productive member
>of society.

Wow, I look back drinking. Fuck, 10 years like nothing. I came to this revelation as well, well off and on. I missed a lot of maturing, life. I hope I don't get back into it. Have a pocket of money for quite a while. All it takes is one monet to make a bad decesion, as well a moment to say hey, I can wait at least a freaking day.
Nothing bad has happened by postponing a bad decesion.
Angus Buzzridge - Mon, 23 Jul 2018 00:57:09 EST hz0sYZtr No.30061 Reply
Sometimes my sobriety makes me proud and filled with excitement for the life ahead of me.

Sometimes my sobriety makes me frustrated, lonely, and desolate.

After a 2 week off-and-on run, and my girlfriend and mom intervening, I received a vivitrol shot. It was probably for the better. But I've ALWAYS gotten my "one more" and I just didn't get it this time. Am I being a child about all of this? Most likely. Do I feel like I was "wronged" by my heartbroken mother and girlfriend? Absolutely not. So I here I stand, 3 days sober on vivitrol. Counting the days until I get in another short session before I go out into the pasture of sobriety. Godspeed to all of you.
William Cheddleford - Mon, 23 Jul 2018 05:44:27 EST ts+QUBMm No.30062 Reply
95 days off opiates, 10 days since I was last "drunk", maybe 5 days since last having alcohol. I'm starting to see my emotions change towards how I viewed my time with pain killers. I'm not really longing for that feeling anymore. I would still do them if I could, but I don't feel the desire I once had when I wanted one more than anything after being off of them for a few days or a week. It feels strange. I definitely don't have that same feeling with alcohol, maybe because I can get it whenever, I don't know. Anyway, keep at it lads. bws
Augustus Chommerhood - Sat, 28 Jul 2018 12:28:51 EST cXy+on2h No.30067 Reply
Starting over again with my suboxone taper. I relapsed when I was only a week out of being done with my taper. I highly regret fucking all of this up and I feel like I let myself down and my family along with guilt and shame. But, tomorrow will be the 1st day back on suboxone. This time I'm not going to fuck up. Where I am in my life now I cannot afford to keep relapsing. Its time to be a man and get my shit together. No more fuck ups, no more regret as this time I'm going to do everything right with my life and be who I want to be in this world. I'm done fucking up!
Reuben Fengerbury - Sun, 29 Jul 2018 20:29:08 EST ts+QUBMm No.30069 Reply
If you're the same guy who's been posting in this thread always ranting and raving about how "this is the time" and "feeling great, gonna make it", do us all a favor and stay clean this time. Figure your shit out, it's depressing to see you coming back just to let us know you can't stay clean but how this is the time for sure.
Ian Smallville - Mon, 30 Jul 2018 19:57:01 EST E5tMjZ9O No.30070 Reply
At least he has the right attitude. You've gotta believe this time can be different or else you'll never get anywhere.
Charlotte Sollybatch - Mon, 30 Jul 2018 22:19:47 EST ts+QUBMm No.30071 Reply
Most people trying to get clean have great attitudes. And then it's time to say goodbye to their drug of choice, actually say goodbye to it, and they relapse, or pick something else up, or whatever. No one wants him to fail, I want him to stay sober and kick his habit
Fuck Nullerway - Mon, 30 Jul 2018 23:24:10 EST cXy+on2h No.30072 Reply
the guy is right though. I (i am OP) have to stop acting like a douchebag and just do it and stop talking like everything is okay when it hasnt been for the past couple months. i relapsed a week away from being done with my taper because i got into a very heated argument with a family member and ive been down about it. i suffer from depression, anxiety, bi polar disorder and schizophrenia. so, its a lot harder for me to keep my emotions in check and being able to feel "balanced". lately things have sucked a bit. but, i started going to the gym again which is one of the best decisions ive made for myself in quite a while. im going to be taking prep classes in the fall for my GED and i will pass the test. starting to look for a job. i hope the gym i go to has job openings. these are the reasons why i HAVE to get clean. i got stuff going for me now in my life and i cannot keep fucking up and relapsing. its going to be hard for me. but, im going to give it my best.
Lydia Goodway - Fri, 10 Aug 2018 21:31:19 EST ts+QUBMm No.30091 Reply
108 days off of opiates. Nothing new to report, still drinking, it's been about a week since i threw down mighty. Hope you guys are doing okay. bws
John Wigglespear - Sun, 19 Aug 2018 16:30:20 EST VeLBurUk No.30099 Reply
Started my suboxone taper today. I'm going to do this right this time. I have stuff going for me now and I'm very happy about it. So, it's time to quit this shit and move on. All I do is smoke weed and that's all i need. 2 months... let's do it.
Archie Gummlespear - Tue, 21 Aug 2018 10:26:28 EST 6PffPzaK No.30100 Reply
Hey everyone. So, I actually started my taper today. 2mg of subs a day for now. I'm going to give it all I got and try my hardest to get through this and be truly clean and sober. Need to keep my eyes on the prize.
Nigel Drinkinfuck - Sun, 26 Aug 2018 11:34:57 EST cXy+on2h No.30111 Reply
Its been about a week now since getting back on subs. I'm getting a bit of restless legs. But, its not a big deal. My mind is so much more clear than it used to be. I finally have all the faith in the belief this time I can make it to the end and become clean and stay sober. I'm done with the drug scene. I have things in my life now that makes me happy, that makes me feel like I finally found purpose in my life. No need for drugs to be able to get through the day anymore. As time passes by I become more grounded and I have been in a good mood lately.
Barnaby Pucklefidge - Tue, 28 Aug 2018 19:08:05 EST hz0sYZtr No.30114 Reply
Checking in... going through a rough patch

Day 11 off of heroin.

Days 0-8 were spent in an inpatient rehab facility. Day 9 and 10 were spent taking naltrexone trying not to kill myself, but days 10 and 11 I'm back and work and things are more bearable. I have some low dose adderall (5mg XR) and klonopin to deal with the insomnia/slowness. I got a vivitrol shot yesterday, so I'm safe for the next few weeks. It's unfathomable how much damage I've done to the relationship with my girlfriend and family, even in just a 2 month bender. I'm not quite to the part where I regain my motivation and drive for sobriety and positive things in my life... today I'm just holding on by my fingernails to stay sane. I feel like there are too many hours in the day. I just want to go to work and go back to sleep until the next morning... to just pass the time. I'm starting intensive outpatient Thursday, I meet with a potential counselor on Wednesday, but today, I just feel lonely, scared, bored, and afraid. My old hobbies aren't fun anymore. I have the craziest gaming rig you've ever seen and no motivation to play games. I want to see friends, but I have too much self loathing to be around people. I feel like I'm just existing... and I hate myself.
Hugh Sodgeman - Tue, 28 Aug 2018 22:25:21 EST ts+QUBMm No.30115 Reply
Day 132 off of opiates. Maybe until I die, I'll always want pain killers, but I've definitely come to terms with not needing them. When I would take them, I definitely felt like I was the best version of myself. Maybe I'll always feel that way, but I'm starting to see that the "sober" version of myself is pretty okay as well. Still drinking, but the past 3 weeks or so I've been pretty dry. Been drinking a lot of coffee lately, but brushing my teeth more often is better than rolling around in bed begging to go to sleep.
I was never on heroin, but I understand what you're feeling. A lot of anxiety, but from my earlier posts, and even now, boredom is the worst part. Vidya while high definitely used to be one of my favorite things, now I can play maybe an hour or two at most. I don't know if you're into reading, but I've definitely read more books in the time I've been sober than the years I was using. I actually read so much when I began I had eye strain. Stick with it, I hope your days coming up are well.

Thomas Durryfuck - Thu, 30 Aug 2018 18:41:13 EST pwqqRz9j No.30117 Reply
Stayed off dope for like 2 weeks now,

want to get off etiz and still smoke weed but have no desire to stop
Thomas Durryfuck - Thu, 30 Aug 2018 18:43:03 EST pwqqRz9j No.30118 Reply
as someone who's only had 6 months totally sober,

you start to enjoy things a little more after a while but its subtle. Opiates do a lot of damage to your reward centers in the brain
Priscilla Fongerford - Sat, 01 Sep 2018 01:34:05 EST hz0sYZtr No.30122 Reply
This dude again, checking back in. Day 14.

The adderall and klonopin has worked wonders. I have a very short supply and won't be seeking any more once it's gone. I have just been functioning at a totally normal level. I have a demanding job that requires me to function at a high level intellectually 8-10 hours/day. My interest in hobbies hasn't really returned/improved. Things with my girlfriend are greatly improving. She can always tell when I'm messed up in the slightest, and is very opposed to drugs. I've hidden the klonopin and adderall from her. When I started taking them (on day 11 I believe) she really started warming back up to me. When I'm either high or in withdrawal, she can't even look at me. Now she's opening up and seeing the old me.

I went to AA/NA meetings for about 4 years, and they are VERY anti-medication. I know that everyone can't use low doses of high abuse potential narcotics for sustained periods, but man, I would recommend this to anyone going through withdrawal. In the past, what caused me to relapse back into heroin was my inability to form clear thoughts (sober, I'm an incredibly smart, high-functioning person, and it's very frustrating to feel like your brain got hit with an egg beater) and my inability to sleep. Having something to bridge that initial 30 or 60 day gap between acute withdrawal and absolute sobriety is such a helpful tool.

I've been leaning on one sober friend heavily, who has had success in above mentioned method, who is also recommending exercise, certain vitamins, and helping me make decisions for myself when I don't know that my brain is quite there yet. It's so helpful to have a guide on this frustrating, demoralizing, painful journey.

I've tried to connect with some of my old AA/NA acquaintances, and even medication aside, man are they fucking brainwashed and obnoxious. One, who I consider a very close friend, I just lost tonight. I tested the waters of NA tonight, and he is so deeply brainwashed into the culture, I just can't do it. Doing the math, I've been sober 97.5% of the days out of the last 6 years. I have a productive life, a girlfriend I adore who has never used drugs, I own a home, I have a 401(k), have taken several promotions to a well-over-6-figure salary.... and I just can't quite relate to "my boyfriend crawled into our dumpster last night drunk and started beating me again." Do I have an ego complex? Probably. I make an effort to relate to the pain we're all experiencing in early recovery, but the connections I once used to be able to make just aren't there anymore.
Cornelius Clinkinlock - Sun, 02 Sep 2018 12:07:28 EST bTvU4UAH No.30124 Reply
You have graduated na and aa now. You don't have to look back.
Betsy Pickstock - Tue, 11 Sep 2018 19:20:43 EST CQoW32t3 No.30134 Reply
Fucked up 3 days ago. Took 1mg of alprazolam during a hard trip on LSD. I'm currently being drug tested for probation and am being tested for cocaine, benzos, weed, amphetamines, and opiates. I also used a bit of cocaine a while back.

Tested myself 2 days ago and came out dirty using home drug tests. I'm getting tested in 2 days. I sure hope this diet and flushing works.

I am going to not be using drugs at all after hopefully passing this upcoming test. It's not worth the risk. I also am going to stop drinking. I'll just stick to psychedelics and stuff like cbd or something.
Hannah Chaggletut - Tue, 11 Sep 2018 19:37:16 EST YwZpcCaL No.30135 Reply
Don't feel bad. I relapsed and abused the subs I had. I just saw my new therapist for the first time yesterday. Hopefully she can help me and eventually I'll truly be ready to get clean and sober. But, right now I cant do it. I admit it. Theirs just too much bullshit going on in my life and I'm stressed the fuck out. I've been smoking weed a lot which has helped with my anxiety that came back to haunt me after have not even one anxiety attack for 4 years until now. But, depression and having to deal with auditory hallucinations since I'm schizophrenic makes it 20x as hard for me. I feel so crippled mentally and emotionally right now.
Steezington Mealsfirst - Wed, 19 Sep 2018 20:31:33 EST /aQ3iLOf No.30146 Reply
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Comment>>29922 2 weeks cleant easy game hang tight squad
Archie Cronkinfut - Sat, 22 Sep 2018 22:40:56 EST /+dmROW5 No.30153 Reply
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In the hospital withdrawing from booze as we speak. They thought it was serious enough to admit me but now it's not serious enough to give me benzos after one day. Still it's pretty cool to be sober.
Archie Cronkinfut - Sat, 22 Sep 2018 22:43:26 EST /+dmROW5 No.30154 Reply
Also why do cable channels play the same show literally all day every day now? Where do they get off? I've watched so many goddamn episodes of South Park and Pawn Stars the past few days, I'm starting to think I might actually be in purgatory.
Priscilla Sablingnudge - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 13:24:31 EST r2TQZC5J No.30158 Reply
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This is me (phone auto changes IP). I got discharged and they finally took the stupid IV tube out of my arm that wasn't hooked up to anything. They gave me baclofen which I'm hopeful about. I've heard reports of people taking it for a month or so and then they never felt the urge to drink again. I am going to go to rehab and all that jazz too but hopefully the baclofen helps.
Basil Tootville - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 13:47:00 EST YwZpcCaL No.30163 Reply
Today is my first day back on suboxone. I started seeing my old therapist and am meditating again. Going to go to the gym as much as possible starting tomorrow and I'm going to get myself together and get my head back on my shoulders. I've been very depressed for a few months now. But, since I'm seeing my former therapist again I feel a lot better.

I am finally ready to give up opiates and live a successful life and become at peace with myself and become truly happy. This shit is just a crutch. I feel good enough now to taper over the next 2 months and get this shit done and get sober.

Goodluck to you guys and I hope things go well for you all.
Emma Sunkindud - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 14:12:56 EST puVgg1bS No.30164 Reply
I'm not smoking weed 24/7 or obsessing over chasing things that give euphoria. When I run out I'll be working on getting a clean system. I've learned to relax and enjoy life one piece at a time. I'm getting my own car, place, and job. It's going to be a nice bachelor pad. I can have anyone over and it be all comfortable and clean. Might even get a bird or reptile for people to entertain themselves with when first coming over. Focusing on things like that is way more fulfilling.

Basil Tootville - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 17:43:22 EST YwZpcCaL No.30168 Reply
How did you deal with having no weed for the first month mentally? For me I feel like weed is a double edged sword with me. It helps with my mental illnesses. But, when I don't have it I get easily depressed and anxiety ridden and angry. I really want to try to be able to live and function mentally and emotionally, normally without needing weed.

If you or anyone can help me with quitting weed I'd appreciate any advice and tips to make it easier for me to quit and not go back to it for a long time.
John Mibblekone - Wed, 26 Sep 2018 03:45:30 EST puVgg1bS No.30179 Reply
I did shrooms once a day for three days in a row, and each one started shitty. Whatever negative feeling I had, I questioned why the gut feeling was. Had to break down some walls and let a lot of negativity go. Now that I can see what I need out of life, it's not that important anymore.
John Mibblekone - Wed, 26 Sep 2018 03:48:53 EST puVgg1bS No.30180 Reply
weed also gives me bad vibes when it comes to productivity or sociability, but I can't just condone shrooms for anyone. I have schizophrenia and my first trip was absolutely horrible. The second and third could've been too, but I knew how to work with the shrooms and wasn't risking too much, since I have people nearby that could help guide me out of it.
John Mibblekone - Wed, 26 Sep 2018 03:51:29 EST puVgg1bS No.30181 Reply
...so yeah. Maybe skip the shrooms but still find out what you're missing in life. Realize the dependency exists because you're always consuming it into your body. You have to want something better for yourself, acknowledge the fiending and accept that it is going to be a battle. Think of an idol, or a legendary hero, a video game or anime, anything. Get that fighting spirit in you.
Henry Bannerfield - Wed, 26 Sep 2018 21:21:19 EST ts+QUBMm No.30185 Reply
161 days off of opiates, three weeks completely sober. I quit my shitty job that gave me a crutch to drink. Being broke sucks, but it's helping me keep an open mind about work I'd actually want to do with my life, or at least actually work and keep me busy and sober. Haven't really thought about pills that much this month, but definitely been fighting the cravings to booze it up. Keep at it all. BWS
Eliza Geggleson - Mon, 01 Oct 2018 22:33:43 EST qTYZOCuv No.30192 Reply
Bought 2 months worth of subs off my dude. I start my taper tomorrow morning. I'm done with opiates. It's time to get my head back on my shoulders and get sober and clean. I want to be able to enjoy life sober and be high on life and success, a natural high. It's time to get my act together and create a life for myself and become the person i know i could always be. Drugs are not worth it to me anymore. That phase of my life is over. Now, it's time to turn the page and start a new chapter in my life. I will be focusing on improving myself and becoming a better me. I'm not getting any younger. It's time for me to grow up and stop being an addict because I feel sorry for myself and using my mental illnesses as an excuse to get high all the time. I'm motivated to do everything that I want and need to do to become at peace with myself so I can be happy.
Eliza Geggleson - Tue, 02 Oct 2018 14:18:37 EST qTYZOCuv No.30194 Reply
Took my first dose of subs today. I'm really hopeful that I can do this and get through it. I know I can do it.

I'll be done this taper before Christmas. 2 months will go by quick. Around that time I plan on studying for my GED and take the test and pass. I will be attending prep classes for this. Then, I will be going to college for the first time ever in my life next spring. I want to get my degree in physical therapy. I'm almost 29yrs old and I'm starting late with getting my life together. But, I'm still young so I still have time to achieve all my goals and aspirations.

59 days to go and counting...
Henry Bollerridge - Wed, 03 Oct 2018 06:26:42 EST zRAEH4vm No.30197 Reply
Ordered some Modafinil to replace when I need caffeine.

The edgy side of caffeine has been souring my relationships. Getting rid of caffeine has been the #1 challenge I've faced next to Tobacco.

I've managed to get 14 days away, but I need a wakefulness agent. Now I'll have a substitute to get more distance.

No more grumpy, lazy me hopefully
BW(not yet)S
Lydia Simblemock - Thu, 04 Oct 2018 22:31:45 EST Uvn9s9oO No.30198 Reply
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Got booked for a start date for rehab and found out they require me to go to a 12 step group. I thought it was every day which made me mad enough to cancel but I called my doctor today and she told me it was 3-4 per week. It still kind of pisses me off that I told like 6 different people that work there that aa doesn't work for me and no one told me it's part of inpatient until after I had four different appointments to try to get into the program. But at least it's not every day. My shrink explained that they keep it around because some people get something out if it and it's something the evening staff are qualified to facilitate. Basically it's one activity the hospital doesn't have to pay for.
Isabella Chadgeham - Tue, 09 Oct 2018 10:46:48 EST qTYZOCuv No.30202 Reply
I'm now one week into my taper. Everything is going good so far and I'd like to keep it that way until I'm done with this taper. My mind isnt as foggy as it was before. It's clear and im starting to have interests in stuff again such as working out and working on getting my GED and going to college to get my degree in physical therapy. I'm just starting a new chapter in my life because I need to grow as a person and Im sick of being a drug addict. I'm turning over a new leaf and eventually I wont have to look back in time when I was growing up and the trauma I went through that really fucked my head up. Im going to move on and not be consumed by the past anymore. I've realized that the answers to my questions are inside of me and I don't see no point now in seeing a therapist to answer my questions as it's never worked out in my favor anyway. I am the only one who can fix myself and my life.
Hannah Huddlefat - Fri, 12 Oct 2018 11:23:52 EST qTYZOCuv No.30203 Reply
10 days into my taper. I'm doing just fine. I'm getting deeper into meditation and ive lost some more weight. I've lost 85lbs. 5lbs to go and then its bulk time over the winter. I'm doing better than ever and I'm feeling much happier. Doing this taper has made me be able to think more clearly and I'm not friending for opiates anymore. Just like I said recently; I don't need opiates as a crutch anymore. My life is turning out now for the better since I started taking action.
Beatrice Wacklemedge - Sun, 14 Oct 2018 19:45:53 EST ts+QUBMm No.30207 Reply
Coming up on being six months clean from opiates, haven't had a drink in 5 weeks. Life's crazy... BWS
Hamilton Bibberbury - Tue, 16 Oct 2018 10:27:57 EST qTYZOCuv No.30211 Reply
It's been two weeks now since I got on subs. It's been a bit of a struggle. But, I'm staying strong and optimistic about the end result which is being clean and sober. 6 weeks to go until im done.
Graham Dubberford - Sun, 21 Oct 2018 11:58:45 EST qTYZOCuv No.30220 Reply
Coming up on 3 weeks. Day 19 today and I'm doing better with my subs than I was in the beginning of this taper.

I'm taking more action to change myself and my life. I'm working on other things besides the gym to keep improving myself as a person. I no longer need or crave opiates. Things are getting better for me. I'm just going to take each day as it comes and focus on myself rather than worry about things that I can never change and I've now accepted it. Also, the meditation is going great. I feel great and a lot happier than I have in a very long time. My mentality is changing, doing all of these things. I'm becoming mentally and emotionally strong. Slowly but surely. I feel more balanced and grounded now and things are just going to keep better and better.
Lydia Breblingkure - Sun, 21 Oct 2018 21:12:21 EST ts+QUBMm No.30221 Reply
>tl:dr trying to make it through tonight
Haven't had opiates in 6 months. I can't really believe it. Today was pretty rough, way too much thinking about where my life has been or where my life is going. It's scary and frustrating, to the point where I was pretty convinced I was gonna go grab a bottle of vodka and just down it tonight. Still sober as of right now. I keep asking myself what booze is going to solve. Yeah, I won't feel like shit the rest of tonight. And tomorrow it'll just be worse. I'll solve none of my problems, besides being aware of them for a little bit. What I really want is a respite like I used to have, but I don't even have that anymore. Bumping while sober, if not begrudgingly.
Doris Tootspear - Mon, 22 Oct 2018 08:38:28 EST qTYZOCuv No.30222 Reply
Day 20. A lot of shit has happened to me over the past week and today was a huge eye opener to me. I've been in a complete rage.... angry all the time and sad over the past 4 months, despite losing weight and tapering and going to the gym. Someone came to me and gave me some advice and is helping me through everything I've been dealing with in silence since all this time. I never would've thought that this person would care enough about me to want to help me. But, he does. Everything he said to me he was right about all of it.

I need to change myself and my life in every aspect. Today it starts. I'm so sick of being poisoned by my anger and hatred and rage. It has caused me to attempt suicide and almost getting arrested more than 3 times. But, after what has happened to me this week, I need to become strong mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. No more negativity. I don't want to keep living like this and feeling so dark all the time. I know I have only one life to live. I truly take that quote to heart now. I fucked up and I need to fix everything that I've broken. I need to get out of this dark prison within my mind that I've been trapped in for 12 years since I got sick.

I'm going to put the pedal to the medal and give each day 110% and conquer each and everyday, from the time i wake up to the time i close my eyes to go to sleep at night. I'm never going to do any of this negative stuff to myself or my life ever again. No more relapses like last time. After I'm done with this suboxone taper, it will be the very last time I will ever need subs and i mean that on my grandfather's grave. The only drug i will use and ever need and that benefits me in a positive way down the road instead of turning into a junkie, is weed. Other than that I'm done with the drug scene.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I'm going to live each day like it's my last. No day will go to waste with me as long as I'm alive from this point forward. I'm ready to create, conquer and achieve anything that I want to do in life. I'm truly ready now.
Matilda Bunningville - Wed, 24 Oct 2018 02:33:24 EST ts+QUBMm No.30223 Reply
Hope you're doing okay buddy. Take it a day at a time. Sobriety is pretty easy when you think about it. Don't use drugs. Keep going, even if it's a day at a time. Or a minute at a time.
Doris Wundlefotch - Wed, 31 Oct 2018 11:33:47 EST qTYZOCuv No.30227 Reply
Been back on subs for 3 days now. I fucked up and relapsed. But, after everything that has happened to me over the past 4 months and especially this week I'm making in my a serious commitment to get clean. I stopped smoking weed a week ago since my dude stopped selling to me. But, i see that as a blessing in disguise. So, I'm done with drugs including weed. This time I'm seeing things through with this taper. It's time to get straight and get my shit together and take back control of my life.
William Greenhood - Wed, 31 Oct 2018 11:41:01 EST tkAOrkEi No.30228 Reply
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Sober as fuck right now. Also pretty sick. Gonna read some shit and watch documentaries about life in Alaska. Then I'll probably even remember it afterwards.
Polly Nashridge - Mon, 05 Nov 2018 10:37:40 EST qTYZOCuv No.30230 Reply
I haven't smoked weed at all over the past 1.5 weeks since my ex dealer fucked me over. I am starting to feel better without needing to get stoned. I'm done smoking weed. I will never smoke again and I'll be able to save a lot of money now too. I want to learn how to be happy without the need for drugs. I'm getting there slowly but surely.

I'm done with drugs and the drug scene. I know I'm better off without that shit. I just want to get clean and sober and appreciate life sober instead of viewing life in an altered state of mind from doing drugs.

I'm better off this way. I will have no more distractions and I'm going down my own path. It has already started.
Charlotte Simblewill - Tue, 20 Nov 2018 16:31:22 EST qTYZOCuv No.30243 Reply
Been 3 days on subs. Just going through the motions and taking one day at a time and one step at a time.
David Turveystone - Fri, 23 Nov 2018 11:00:23 EST qTYZOCuv No.30246 Reply
5 days now since I've been on suboxone. No more cravings at all. I know I have no choice now but to come off the opiates. I have no more connections as I dropped all of them since it was the right thing to do for myself. I'm going to see this through all the way. When I'm done my taper I'm never touching a single pill ever again.

Also, I'm done with smoking weed. Its just another crutch and it prevents me from doing what needs to be done during the day. I hate how weed made my mind foggy and making me feel a bit disoriented. It's not worth it to me anymore.

No more drugs period. Time to move on and start a new chapter in my life.
Emma Haggleford - Sat, 24 Nov 2018 22:22:21 EST ts+QUBMm No.30250 Reply
The only real thing that has kept and is keeping me off of opiates is when I tell myself "This will send me to fucking jail, today. And the day I get out of the clink, I'll be homeless that day". Maybe it's not great motivation for you, but I've pretty much just engrained it into my thinking. Having a healthy life never helped me stop, but thinking about what jail time and being a homeless NEET would do to me keeps me away for sure. I'm barely surviving now, but I'm not locked up.

The holidays have been pretty difficult this year. Blew sobriety out the door, having planned to have a ginger ale with the family but it just turned into 12 beers with my cousins. Pretty disappointed with myself, and I'm back in that weird "there's nothing to do tonight and I just want to get drunk". Rough night ahead, but I'm sober right now and that's barely enough.
Fucking Smallcocke - Sun, 25 Nov 2018 10:56:12 EST qTYZOCuv No.30252 Reply
Today makes a week now since starting my taper. I'm doing good. I have no cravings at all anymore and no more cravings for weed as well. I'm better off being completely sober now. For the first time in a long time my mind is clear and I'm starting to feel better about myself. I am going back to the gym tomorrow and this time I will have no distractions getting in the way of that like every other time before. I will be attending prep classes in jan/Feb to get ready to take my GED test. My mind has to be clear and sharp in order for me to study and take the test to get that piece of paper so I can go to college and get my degree in physical therapy.

Their are so many things I need to do to get my life on track and become the person I know I can be. Drugs just got in the way of all of that since all the other times i attempted to turn my life around and was never successful. I don't need drugs anymore to get through my day. No more distractions. Time to get down to business and do what I got to do so I can lead a happy and successful life through sober eyes. I know I can do this. I have all the confidence in the world that I can make things right for myself this time around.
Hugh Dirrywater - Mon, 26 Nov 2018 10:24:17 EST GjQtgtw2 No.30253 Reply
Sorry to ask but are you the same person who has been posting on this board about their ongoing suboxone taper for the last like 2 years?
Nell Shakeson - Tue, 27 Nov 2018 10:36:19 EST qTYZOCuv No.30254 Reply
Yeah that's me. I know I've lied to you all and myself so many times over this. But, the difference this time around is I cut all ties with my opi dealer and I've even stopped smoking weed. I'm getting 100% clean and sober. I have made some goals for myself that I want to achieve within the next year and I cant be getting high or else I'll just fuck up again like I have before so many times. Back then I had no goals for myself which made me relapse. Now, I have drive and true motivation to get through this and live a productive life through sobriety and working hard to achieve the goals that I have set for myself. I don't need drugs to get through my day anymore. I feel a lot better already since getting on subs and no longer smoking weed. My mind feels so clear and for once in my life I feel "awake" in terms of the fact that I need to get my life on track. I'm turning 29yrs old this week and now I know I have to take action now so I don't turn out to be a bum out on the street in years to come. I'm not getting any younger. I must and will make things better for myself.
Phineas Clingersud - Wed, 28 Nov 2018 11:33:03 EST GjQtgtw2 No.30257 Reply
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No hate btw, i too struggle with addiction and find lurking this board can be helpful sometimes so i get it, i just wasn't sure if its the same person. We sound like we have similar situations, albeit i havent shot dope or done coke in 5 years but i still struggle with going overboard on weed and booze and recently i even relapsed on hydrocodone and oxys for about a week, no im trying to get sober again, at least this time im using a juul instead of smoking a pack a day lol.
David Brerryville - Wed, 28 Nov 2018 11:39:13 EST qTYZOCuv No.30258 Reply
I'm just taking it one day at a time. That's all you can do really. Just be able to know how much your life can change by getting clean and sober. That's what motivates me to keep plugging along. Just stay positive and everything will fall in place. Also, try to cut yourself off from every dealer you go through to find oxys and lortabs. I cut all ties with my dealers so that I have no choice but to get clean. It was the best thing to do for myself to have a chance at sobriety.

Keep on keeping on my friend.
Fucking Hublinghall - Sun, 02 Dec 2018 19:16:29 EST Dswgp8IR No.30267 Reply
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Fuck total abstinence. AA/NA can be very useful, but from my experience, you gotta be totally immersed in the program and either be in a halfway house, or graduated one. At first I was confused at all the little cliques I saw at meetings that are supposed to be all inclusive.

And besides, I'm a dope fiend. I don't even particularly like drinking. I'm happy with smoking 2-3 times a week and the occasional benzo but that's another slippery slope.

It was refreshing that I was able to resist the brainwashing of AA but still get clean from dope
William Senkinway - Thu, 06 Dec 2018 14:00:54 EST nANxeEXJ No.30269 Reply
Yeah, AA/NA groups are very close minded and kind of repulsive for me, if I have to go to a meeting to hear people talk shit and give me strange looks for taking benzos perscribed by a fucking doctor so I can work and go out with friends without worrying about panic attacks or criticse me for taking mdma with gf once or twice a year (btw my depression was obliterated for weeks after that, we had great time) then fuck it. I'm mainly opioid addict and wasn't touching any of that stuff at that time, I didn't see how taking other drugs impacted my live in a negative way but they always seem to know better.
Graham Bopperwell - Wed, 12 Dec 2018 14:11:26 EST 5RjG7e0n No.30272 Reply
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Been off booze for over two months. Went to rehab for 3 weeks, got on low level prozac and baclofen (which cuts down cravings about 80% by itself for me), meditating every day and going to meditation group twice a week, outpatient rehab twice a week, and therapist once a week. I'm helping and spending time with family a lot. The rehab is mostly Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and mindfulness and I'm doing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with my shrink. I know it's cliché but I'm taking it one day at a time and actually using the exercises I'm learning.
Thomas Wedgeridge - Thu, 21 Feb 2019 09:04:07 EST qTYZOCuv No.30273 Reply
It's been 4 months since I quit smoking weed. My mind is so clear now and no longer so foggy and cloudy. It was the best decision I made. I can finally focus on the things I want to do and no longer have weed as a distraction as it was a huge distraction from working on achieving my goals. I am working on achieving the goals I set for myself this year and I'm going full force and working hard. Good stuff.
Betsy Nicklebanks - Thu, 21 Feb 2019 23:29:31 EST k5iQMwwM No.30274 Reply
okay I am trying to get my shit together and not smoke all of th weed and get kicked out of bars, but progress is slow and I've been eating a lot and gaining weight as I go along.
Betsy Goodfield - Mon, 25 Feb 2019 21:41:49 EST GSlu3thU No.30275 Reply
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Almost 5 months off booze. Feeling alive again. I highly recommend it.
Betsy Goodfield - Mon, 25 Feb 2019 21:52:26 EST GSlu3thU No.30276 Reply
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I'm this guy btw. The Craving Mind by Judson Brewer brings together a lot of knowledge on addiction and mindfulness. One of the best books on either subject.
Doris Hungersodge - Wed, 27 Feb 2019 11:46:33 EST qTYZOCuv No.30277 Reply
I'm going to see a suboxone doctor soon to get off the opiates to get clean and sober. My dealer is going to prison next week for a long time. So, it's time to get my shit together and do what I got to do to lead a normal and high quality life. I'm sick and tired of being an addict anyway.

I've made goals for myself that I want to achieve this year and i want to conquer all of them. I must and will get clean as I work hard to accomplish my goals.
Martin Brookspear - Sat, 09 Mar 2019 11:05:23 EST qTYZOCuv No.30286 Reply
5 months have passed since smoking weed. I dont.need it anymore to get through the day. I'm much better off without it. My mind is clear. I'm back In the gym and I'm ready to take GED prep classes. I'll be a lot better off a year from now.
Albert Bardstock - Sun, 10 Mar 2019 07:59:23 EST yo59Frw9 No.30287 Reply
> So, it's time to get my shit together and do what I got to do to lead a normal and
>high quality life. I'm sick and tired of being an addict anyway.

There are alternate lives to live,
Your cool, I liked to explore everything around me. Walking and take in things around me.
Biking around and doing the same. Somebody was a snitch, surely, if extensive, you
may be on a note, take at least a break for a while. I used to help dope sick people,
while I didn't do actively do do dope.
d may help in the head space, but if trying to take a break from every thing is ok.
Kick-on, I do not do dope, but have found feeling where one lives to be important. Even if it's a block away.
Basil Collerdock - Sun, 10 Mar 2019 14:41:15 EST 5axECasJ No.30288 Reply
39 days to go and I'll have been off opiates for a year. Drinking has gone from a necessary evil to something I've been afraid of, and now I very rarely think about drinking in general. It's been 3 months since I've been hammered, but I've had a beer here and there with friends. When I think of "healthy" drinking, this is much closer to what I envisioned. I'm not constantly trying to get drunk, it's not my plan for evenings when I do drink, I don't assume everyone has an open fridge policy. I'm not ashamed when I clean my new place and have to figure out a way to sneak 30+ beer cans into the recycling bin. Best of luck to you guys still out there struggling.
Sophie Snodwell - Wed, 13 Mar 2019 15:52:32 EST qTYZOCuv No.30290 Reply
I've gotten addicted to gabapentin, psychologically. It's time to get away from that shit and start working on myself to live a good quality life and to obtain happiness with being sober. I've gotten sober from weed and this is just another obstacle that I must conquer so I can go on with my life, clean and sober.

I asked myself, 'wtf am I doing to myself?". Now, I see the light. I know I'm better than being a junkie and I'm not going to waste my potential of being a great person any longer. Theres goals that I want to achieve this year and being addicted to drugs is just a major distraction.

I took my last dose of gabapentin today and now I'm done with it. I wont be buying it any longer. I know I can conquer this addiction just like with the weed. It will be a bit difficult. But, my hunger for success will make it so I can get through this.

Being a drug addict isnt worth it to me anymore. I know what I must do now in order to be happy and have a positive outlook on life.
Lydia Nimmerchet - Mon, 18 Mar 2019 13:44:49 EST qTYZOCuv No.30295 Reply
Havent taken gabapentin in a week. I'm no longer addicted to it and I'm over it. Glad I got through this and as fast as I did. Will never touch that shit ever again.
James Gupperwot - Thu, 21 Mar 2019 05:25:21 EST c2xu4f59 No.30296 Reply
Congrats man. I had a short run-in with Pregabalin and withdrawing from that was fucking awful. It's ~3 months later and I still sweat a lot during the day.
Edward Pammlekat - Sun, 07 Apr 2019 05:01:55 EST DKxfKlAP No.30307 Reply
I have a job interview so I'm not smoking for a bit.
Ian Follyshaw - Sun, 07 Apr 2019 14:09:00 EST qTYZOCuv No.30308 Reply
Havent smoked weed for 6 months. Never will do so again. Weed was controlling me and it was actually starting to get in the way of my life. I thought I needed to use it to self medicate. But, I was wrong and in a good way.
Ebenezer Lightfield - Fri, 12 Apr 2019 01:20:04 EST 5axECasJ No.30312 Reply
Probably my last post. In a week I'll have been off of opiates for a year. It's been a strange struggle for sure. I can think of hundreds of days where I wanted to be high, hundreds of days when I wanted to be drunk. But where I'm at now, I'm not really sure why I wanted those things so badly. Yeah, my life is shit but it's doable without using something to fix it for a few hours. I guess that's about as profound as I can be about the situation. Best of luck to you lot. Bumping while sober.
Esther Dreckledock - Sat, 20 Apr 2019 20:27:44 EST aYe9HZRw No.30326 Reply

Bro, 6 months without weed too. I smoked everyday and got really grumpy when I could not do it, I also spent less time with my gf and friends because of it.

Nowadays I get horrible cravings, specially when bored. How do you deal with them?
Thomas Chennershit - Sun, 21 Apr 2019 12:34:14 EST xYSz4kt7 No.30328 Reply
I'm going on 7 months of no weed. It was hard at first to control myself with cravings. But, I got over it and it's the best decision I made. Just got to take things day by day and stay occupied so you dont think about it.
Wesley Momblefield - Tue, 30 Apr 2019 12:47:35 EST E5tMjZ9O No.30336 Reply
From this moment on, I am officially done with alcohol. I am one of those guys who "doesn't drink" now. It's just not worth it. If I don't smoke weed first I can't even get drunk before puking and if I do smoke weed first, then I'm liable to get a horrific hangover which lasts for three days.
Wiggles - Tue, 30 Apr 2019 13:03:11 EST DKxfKlAP No.30337 Reply
Does anyone on detox like to talk about just cutting back as opposed to completely quitting stuff? I think that's probably both easier and emotionally healthier than straight up binary style decisions. I find that if I don't allow myself wiggle room I'm going to hate myself if I fail or waiver. It's like the legendary mode of depriving yourself. Obviously allowing yourself to slide is the other side of the sword with this method. TLDR; how do you moderate use?
Barnaby Nommerwill - Tue, 30 Apr 2019 13:21:01 EST qTYZOCuv No.30338 Reply
Starting suboxone taper tomorrow. I need to get clean and also see a therapist for my issues. My opiate addiction is not helping much, but it's been working against me. I'm sick of chasing a high that ive been using as a crutch for so many years that offers no benefit. I want to love myself and have a good outlook on life being sober. I've felt dead inside for so long. I just want to feel "alive" again. I want to have a clear mind. I'm ready to finally get clean and become sober.
Ralph Bronzel - Tue, 30 Apr 2019 17:40:15 EST hZlRJPtw No.30342 Reply

I think for a lot of people it has to be all or nothing. It takes serious discipline to stick to a schedule and it’s just too tempting to go all in. That’s all there is to it, having a plan and sticking to it and maybe having someone keeping you accountable. Being sober the rest of your life can be a daunting thought. I say choose your poisons carefully and take it one day at a time
Hedda Fanway - Wed, 01 May 2019 08:43:10 EST qTYZOCuv No.30344 Reply
Smoked weed for the first time in 7 months. I didn't like it at all. I just don't care for weed like I used to. I hated the way it made me feel. I use to be a stoner back then and I loved weed. But, I've changed in that regard now. I'd much rather have a clear head than a fogged up mind like weed did to me all the time back then.

Got suboxone and today is my first day on it. I'll be done with it in 2 months and I will never get mixed up with opiates ever again. I want to be clean and sober. I want the finer things in life and I have goals that I've made for myself that I want to accomplish and I cant do that being an addict. I realize that I have to grow up and be able to make it. I want to be happy and successful in life and the first step is getting clean and sober from drugs. I'm sick of feeling dead on the inside and I want.to be able to feel again and feel alive.
Edward Hungerbury - Sat, 04 May 2019 11:04:07 EST qTYZOCuv No.30350 Reply
I left something important out of this post.

I've had a psychological addiction for gabapentin for a little bit now. I've been taking them every other day for a few weeks now. I'm also going to get sober from that and never buy them again. I want to get clean from everything I've put in my body recently that got me high. I've long since stopped smoking and the fact that I did that I know I can get clean from the opiates and gabapentin. The opiates by far is the hardest thing to quit which is why I got on suboxone. But, I know the restless legs are going to get me once I've stopped taking suboxone. I'm still determined no matter what to kick this addiction. I'm not new to subs which is why I'm making this my last time having to use it. It's time to grow up and get my act together and stop doing drugs.
Simon Wackledock - Thu, 09 May 2019 11:16:08 EST qTYZOCuv No.30370 Reply
Today makes 1 week since I started on suboxone. Everything is going good and I'm doing just fine. I havent taken gabapentin in a week also. I'm doing stuff to keep myself occupied so I dont think about getting high. I am no longer taking benzos that my psychiatrist prescribed me. Havent touched benzos for 2 months and I'm keeping it that way. I'm getting totally clean and living my life sober. Fuk the drug scene.
Edward Sammerworth - Fri, 17 May 2019 07:35:09 EST qTYZOCuv No.30386 Reply
It's been 2 weeks now since I started my taper. Things are going smooth. I'm working out again and started meditating again. I feel a lot better about myself and I have realized that I dont need to get high anymore to get through the day like I use to. The gym is my drug and meditation keeps me balanced and focused on what I need to do. My mind is the clearest it's been in a long time. I am locked in on achieving the goals that I want to accomplish. I no longer need drugs as a crutch since my life is getting better now through improving upon myself as a person. I love being able to do things that benefit me that have true meaning instead of getting high all the time. Doing drugs are pointless to me now as it's just negative and keeps me down and out. Well, 6 weeks to go until I'm done my taper. I can do this
Ernest Pickhood - Thu, 23 May 2019 10:19:00 EST qTYZOCuv No.30390 Reply
Its been 3 weeks now since I started my taper with suboxone. Everything is going good. 5 weeks to go and I'm done my taper. I know I'll have restless legs for 2-3 weeks after all is said and done. But, I've gone through it all the other times I did this (even though I fucked up my sobriety time and time again). The difference this time is that I finally have purpose in my life and I'm becoming happy with myself and starting to figure out who I really am. Back then i had no purpose or drive to do anything to better myself which is why my sobriety didnt last long. I know now that I have to take action to progress day by day as time goes on and become the strongest version of myself, inside and out.
Reuben Turveystock - Thu, 30 May 2019 19:04:16 EST qTYZOCuv No.30393 Reply
Been 4 weeks now. This past month I have grown a lot. I'm doing things to make me happy and I actually feel happier than I have in a long time along with the fact that I also feel so positive.m am always in a good mood.

4 more weeks to go.
Lydia Clayway - Wed, 05 Jun 2019 16:12:32 EST gueJeLKY No.30398 Reply
day 1. I want to be done with disso addiction forever please
Phoebe Sozzlestock - Thu, 06 Jun 2019 07:55:18 EST OmHKhkrx No.30400 Reply

It's been 5 weeks now. I'm still going strong and I'm determined to get clean and sober and getting my life together, back on track. I've been job hunting and I've been back in the gym for 1 month now. Everything I'm doing for myself is starting to pay off and I'm happier now than I've been in quite a while. Things are starting to look up and I'm proud of myself for doing all of what I'm doing.

3 weeks to go! I can do this!!
Wesley Giggleham - Thu, 06 Jun 2019 09:47:14 EST gbuZg/D3 No.30402 Reply
I wish drugs would just keep working forever without tolerance forming. T breaks suck.
Reuben Moffingwore - Thu, 06 Jun 2019 18:56:58 EST SWi5R6pH No.30404 Reply


Molly Nickleshaw - Thu, 06 Jun 2019 23:25:35 EST CfzeZcOa No.30412 Reply
wow, I am proud of every single one of you guys. Some of you have done what I can only dream about, entire years without relapsing... I am strong enough to control the urges, but everyone in my life smokes weed and drinks. I can only go so far before the urge wins. This is why they tell you to cut ties with the people that keep on partaking, but if I did that I'd stay alone now for good. thats not healthy, either.

I'm about to make it through 1 week off weed, after breaking a month t-break. I just can't smoke it anymore, it does not do the desired effects and only lags me from my recovery.

Have you guys fucked yourselves with SSRIs / antidepressants? I know I have. My weed highs are over, and so are any kind of highs :( but I can cry and feel like shit just fine, what the fuck is this?
Nathaniel Wennerludge - Fri, 07 Jun 2019 09:22:41 EST OmHKhkrx No.30413 Reply
Wow congrats man! Keep up the good work and keep on going on with staying sober. What were you addicted to?

I've been on zoloft for over a decade. I dont smoke weed anymore either as I just dont like the way it makes me feel anymore and it makes me feel laggy and slumpy. Lots of brain fog too.

You have to keep yourself occupied so you dont get the urge and not think about smoking or drinking. It might be hard. But,cutting all ties with those people as they are just causing negativity via smoking all day and drinking. Try to make new friends who are totally sober and who want to be successful in life.

Like they say, you are who you hang out with.
Eliza Goodhall - Fri, 07 Jun 2019 19:51:56 EST gueJeLKY No.30414 Reply
holy shit it feels like longer than 2 days. i felt horrible today.
Lydia Clayway - Fri, 07 Jun 2019 20:38:16 EST gueJeLKY No.30415 Reply
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>I can cry and feel like shit just fine
yeah me too. I cried more today and yesterday than all of the past three months. I would rather feel nothing than any good or bad feeling. These last three days I have felt mostly shame, anxiety (had at least one panic attack), depression, failure, inadequacy, hopeless, guilt, but not really regret. My chest feels odd; like it's heavy or sunken or has been punched; when I focus on that feeling it makes it hard to swallow and I feel like my throat may choke or eyes may cry.

I think I actually do not want to quit completely, but I know I can not use it responsibly. It is best for me to quit because it was making me stupid and opposing my ability to accomplish goals.

sorry I can't help with you ssri question because I have always avoided pharmacy pill drugs like that.

congrats on rehab! are you out? thanks for sharing your drawings. I like how art can feel therapeutic while creating it.

thanks for sharing your positive experiences. Reading this made me feel more optimistic. You are more than halfway to your goal; you got this! any reason you're doing 8 weeks?
Eugene Givingsuck - Sat, 08 Jun 2019 09:57:02 EST ZPEPWD/O No.30418 Reply
Because I've been addicted for so long that's how long I have to go for with suboxone. The only side effect I'll get after coming off is restless legs. Itll last for 2-3 weeks. But, I just got to get through it. I am completely done with being an addict. So, this will be my final taper period.
Nicholas Cimmleridge - Sun, 09 Jun 2019 12:31:54 EST ZPEPWD/O No.30420 Reply
It's been 40 days now since I started my taper. I'm proud of myself for making it this far. 20 days left until I'm done. After the 2-3 weeks that I'll deal with restless legs I'll be good. I will never touch a single pill ever again and my days of being an addict is over. Time to move on and pursue my goals in life and turn the page, starting a new chapter in my life.
Charles Clurryspear - Sun, 09 Jun 2019 17:15:48 EST gueJeLKY No.30421 Reply
today is the first day since I attempted sobriety (except weed) that I'm allowing myself to do some drugs, just a little bit. I got adult responsibility shit to do and no motivation, so I'm stimming and feel like doing a small dose of disso. i'd rather taper than quit cold. I just don't want it to get out of hand like it usually does when I've tried to commit to sobriety in the past. having drugs feels like security, like having food in the fridge.
John Berringbury - Tue, 11 Jun 2019 00:23:33 EST d0Zall9e No.30422 Reply
>days of being an addict are over

I got some bad news for ya buddy...
Ian Crungerlutch - Tue, 11 Jun 2019 14:53:53 EST rl4uHNmE No.30424 Reply
Nah I get what this person is saying. Addiction doesn't just disappear after a period of time sober. I commend those who have quit and those who are doing all they can to be sober, and I certainly wouldn't knock anyone for it - I too am on that journey, but it's a naive attitude to say being an addict is behind you. We will always be addicts, but managing the addiction is the key to keeping on the right path. I say this only because the last time I relapsed, I said those words not long before the relapse, fully meaning it and believing it. I got caught out by not managing my addiction. I wouldn't want anyone else to do the same...
Polly Turveywater - Tue, 11 Jun 2019 16:16:56 EST SWi5R6pH No.30425 Reply
thank you for clarifying my statement.

I didn’t mean that the guy was destined to relapse. it is just that addiction is a daily struggle. Sobriety can arrest the progression of the addiction but not remove it.
Thomas Necklestet - Tue, 11 Jun 2019 18:46:30 EST BxVwTepe No.30426 Reply
Yeah it is a daily struggle. I didnt think that's what he meant when he said that. Hes right.
Matilda Bleddleman - Thu, 13 Jun 2019 10:13:18 EST BxVwTepe No.30430 Reply
I've decided to take suboxone for 1 more week instead of the 2 other weeks that I planned. I have to do it this way because i need to find a job quick and I'm not going to be able to do so until the restless legs dissipate which will take 2-3 weeks. But, after I'm all good and ready to go I'm going to start living life more than I ever have and be a success. I plan on getting my GED and work somewhere so I can get started with improving upon myself and my life.
Nell Shakeridge - Fri, 14 Jun 2019 10:40:54 EST BxVwTepe No.30433 Reply
This is my final day of my taper. Today makes 6 weeks and now I can stop taking suboxone. I just got to get through the bout of restless legs and then I'll be good. It was a great and final run. I got through this taper really good and only slipped up once throughout the entire time. I'm proud of myself for making the decision I made 1.5 months ago to get clean and sober. Now, I plan on staying away from drugs and never getting myself wrapped in that shit ever again.

I plan on getting a job within the next month and getting my GED in the fall. I can finally think clearly and these are just some of the goals I want to accomplish besides long term goals that I have set for myself.

So, everything is falling in place now and I will continue to walk down the right path. Drugs are no longer apart of my life and I feel a lot better mentally, emotionally, and physically already. I made the right and most logical decision and I'm glad I did.
Hedda Blingerstat - Fri, 14 Jun 2019 14:02:24 EST e/Auesdy No.30434 Reply
This fucking sucks. It's been 24 hours since I've been drunk. How do you people live like this.
Lydia Clayway - Fri, 14 Jun 2019 16:06:16 EST gueJeLKY No.30435 Reply
9 days without ketamine. my intestines hurt. I wonder if the drugs or the disordered eating caused more damage. Im trying to fix both and realizing that being sober will not magically fix issues; it's at best helping me to not create more issues. its always been easier for me to switch favorites instead of to stop doing it. I wish I did not have to see a bullshit doctor before being able to make an appointment for a gastroenterologist. i have not seen any doctor in at least a year; the last time being that situation and they disregarded me. during this time i fill the hole with stim
Charlotte Ducklechirk - Sat, 15 Jun 2019 02:27:08 EST kcxADqFj No.30436 Reply
how much ketamine did you use and for how long if i may ask?

t. fellow disso feen
Lydia Clayway - Sat, 15 Jun 2019 05:46:59 EST gueJeLKY No.30437 Reply
Last I remember weighing and timing was 10g in about three weeks. I would not usually weight out doses but I was doing 0.5g per use and wanted more. I've been doing dissos for a decade. It is hard to stop craving dxm because it so easy to access and easy to extract.
Lydia Clayway - Fri, 21 Jun 2019 22:49:24 EST gueJeLKY No.30446 Reply
well nb cus im not doing well at this quitting attempt. i don't want to quit. i want to cut back and use more responsibly. I wish I could see myself at my lowests as inspiration.
Martha Grimbury - Sun, 23 Jun 2019 14:35:44 EST CGHm+VqR No.30452 Reply
It's been 8 days since I completed my suboxone taper. I'm using gabapentin to counteract the restless legs and its working. I'm totally 100% clean and sober from opiates and other drugs like weed. I have no desire to use drugs anymore. I want to focus on getting my life together and becoming successful in life which I'm already working on.

I will become a success and become the best version of myself, my "higher self".
Samuel Fanshaw - Wed, 26 Jun 2019 20:22:08 EST BxVwTepe No.30456 Reply

The restless legs have subsided and have gone away completely. So, I made it through this taper and the symptoms of being on suboxone for the amount of time I was taking it. It's been 11 days since I've been done my taper. I'm clean and sober totally now. My next move is to get a job and go for my GED in the fall.

If I can get through detox you all can too. We're all going to make it!!
Henry Hinningmock - Sat, 29 Jun 2019 09:48:41 EST BxVwTepe No.30457 Reply
2 weeks since I finished my taper. These past couple weeks have flown by quick. I'm dieting, reading self help books and meditating. I feel better about where i stand right now than where i was before when i was abusing opiates. I dont even like weed anymore. I'm 100% clean and sober and am doing what i can to make a life for myself and having a clear and focused mind along with having a positive mindset towards my life.
Reuben Brublingkerk - Sat, 29 Jun 2019 12:29:56 EST rl4uHNmE No.30458 Reply
Good on you! I'm glad you are clean (even tho I dont know you lol) and I really hope you can continue life without having to look back. Remember there will absolutely be times where the former addiction will test you - I've learned to realise it never really leaves, but accepting those feelings and carrying on with a positive mindset should pull you through those times of temptation. Just keep honest with yourself and be prepared mentally for it... Well done my man though! Quitting isn't easy, so respect for taking the steps onto the right path in life
Oliver Secklestone - Sun, 30 Jun 2019 09:43:34 EST BxVwTepe No.30459 Reply
Thanks for the kind words! I'm not going to lie. Over the past 2 weeks I've had thoughts of getting high again. It was hard for me. But, I made it through and didnt succumb to temptation. I'm getting better at telling myself "no". Now, I just think back to when I was abusing drugs and how I felt so low about myself and where I was in life and that enough makes it easier for me to not do that shit ever again and not give into temptation. Drugs just bring a temporary happiness and is not worth it whatsoever.
Edward Dapperditch - Thu, 18 Jul 2019 12:05:38 EST BxVwTepe No.30492 Reply
It's been over 1 month now since I got done my taper. I'm not going to lie... I've been struggling a bit mentally with wanting it. But, it's getting easier for me as each day goes by. I slipped up a couple times over the past month. But, it's not a total relapse. I'm just keeping myself occupied with the gym and clearing my mind through meditation everyday. I'll be getting a job soon too which will help drastically with keeping temptation out of my mind.

I dont want to get myself involved with any kind of drug ever again including weed. I can function now mentally and emotionally without the need for illegal substances. I'm doing good.
Hugh Bettingcocke - Sat, 27 Jul 2019 10:53:05 EST BxVwTepe No.30509 Reply
2 months clean now. I feel like myself again for the first time in years as I'm doing things to better myself. I've been hitting the gym 5 days a week over these past 2 months. The gym is my therapy and I'm so confident in myself now and my self-esteem is getting better and better as time goes by. I don't think about getting high anymore as it's not a big deal to me anymore and honestly id rather be productive and do something to better myself rather than stay high all day.

I'm on the right track now and I'm highly fuking motivated to become the strongest version of myself in and out.
Charlotte Chattinglud - Sat, 24 Aug 2019 12:41:04 EST BxVwTepe No.30582 Reply
3 months post suboxone taper. I'm finally working on getting a job and meditating on a daily basis. I do not do any drugs anymore, dont even smoke weed.

I've made up goals I'd like to achieve the rest of this year and into 2020. It's time for a change physically and mentally and spiritually. I cant live like shit anymore. I have to make a change or I'll never get anywhere.
Shit Dripperstock - Sun, 15 Sep 2019 22:20:09 EST ZIVfjpy+ No.30626 Reply
no bump. Am drunk. This shit is killing me and isn't even fun
Thomas Wungerhon - Sat, 21 Sep 2019 19:41:22 EST eVQ5Y21i No.30635 Reply
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Had to quit everything (mainly a daily weed habit) for a job. Smoked my last bowl on 12/1/2018. Lots of people on here talking about withdrawals and shit or how they gained some kind of clarity but I have experienced exactly nothing like that. "Quitting" was as easy as putting the shit under my bed and forgetting about it. All that has changed is I can't smoke a bowl and play vidya in the evenings anymore. I don't miss it like you might imagine I would after ten years of daily smoking, but I do get shitty that my employer feels the need to tell me I can't smoke on a Friday night because that would make it oh so dangerous to come in on Monday and sit at a fucking desk for eight hours. The principle of it pisses me off more than the simple fact that I can't smoke TBH.
Henry Bocklewin - Mon, 23 Sep 2019 13:17:57 EST rWeyVnFt No.30636 Reply
Today makes 4 months since I've been clean. I'm proud of myself
Esther Bleshdock - Thu, 03 Oct 2019 21:26:12 EST Xlw/h2tw No.30654 Reply
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Haven't smoked weed in a month and two days. It feels good.

I know its not the hardest drug but damn I've tried to quit and failed so many times.
George Blerringridge - Thu, 03 Oct 2019 21:51:20 EST fqWp9Swl No.30655 Reply
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How come you decided to quit? How do you feel now?
Molly Clocklestone - Fri, 04 Oct 2019 11:33:49 EST rWeyVnFt No.30656 Reply

Good for you man! More power to you for quitting. I quit smoking weed a while ago for myself. It was hard for me too. But, I got through the mental withdrawals and I havent smoked in months after I went through that. So, I know that it's hard for some people to quit like it was for me. It was worth it in the end and I'm glad now that I dont smoke anymore.

Keep it up dude. Just stay focused on your goals and work towards accomplishing the things you want to succeed in doing.
Betsy Gucklestone - Sun, 06 Oct 2019 22:49:50 EST Xlw/h2tw No.30657 Reply
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Some people can be productive while high, but I seemingly cannot.

I just spent way too much time stressing about how its bad for my health, about how it made me feel stupid, like I'm wasting my life. It always gave me a barely running nose, sniffles.

On top of all the negatives, I really didn't even enjoy being high. It just made me feel out of it and less able to do anything.

I still feel pressure to smoke around others who do. I enjoyed the social aspect of it, but ever going back would be a mistake. I'll just stick to occasional psychedelic use like I know I always should have.
Thomas Handerwill - Tue, 08 Oct 2019 14:02:56 EST IioYdAMh No.30658 Reply
No bump but I have to say I'm happy for climbing out of debt over the course of the past year, and my withdrawals don't feel so bad that I couldn't socialize or travel without drugs.

A note to self I'll write down here: I'll reduce my downer usage as much as I can by winter holidays, and on the winter break I'll have a break-ish thing during which I won't dose enough to sleep, just enough to keep anxiety attacks under control. Sleeping is the core reason of my addiction, so the break will be creative weird times.

Hopefully after that I can go to work without microdosing anything, and move on to kicking things and reaching that natural sleep.
Polly Wondledick - Thu, 24 Oct 2019 08:07:36 EST KWHk7Fob No.30681 Reply
It's been about six months since my last post, figured I'd check in. 18 months and counting off of opiates. Drinking is genuinely enjoyable again, it's really strange to have three beers every couple months and being satisfied with that. Life continues forward, usually for the better but sometimes it gets worse. I've finally found a job that I can manage to love. Some amazing things have happened and I can appreciate them more than ever. Hope you guys are doing well.
John Greenstock - Tue, 29 Oct 2019 00:45:57 EST sTSf9VO1 No.30689 Reply
Just got through day 1 of my first real attempt at staying sober since I relapsed in June. Things got really bad these past few months, I've spent thousands on drink and drugs and I probably have fewer combined memories of the last 60 days of my life than I have from any festival or concert I've been to. It's just like I time traveled. It's so stupid and there's so much shit I just don't remember doing. People are constantly telling me shit that I've done or apparently said to people and they bring up events I have 0 recollection of.
Charles Bimblesuck - Wed, 04 Dec 2019 14:45:27 EST gueJeLKY No.30749 Reply
it's only been four days. I have more motivation to quit when I think of it as taking a long tolerance break instead of getting sober.
Archie Weffingstudge - Fri, 06 Dec 2019 08:45:44 EST CUNyyCiQ No.30751 Reply
Ran out of kratom some weeks ago, so I've been on approx 0.3mg buprenorphine for some weeks. It's not a taper at this point, it's an eternal maintenance dose of whatever I can get. I'm 26 and healthy, but feel so worn.
Simon Worthingfield - Sat, 07 Dec 2019 06:55:31 EST /6WxEFr8 No.30752 Reply
Day 55, cold turkey from alcohol, cigs, weed, etc.

I still drink lots of coffee, and I'm addicted to sugar. I have good and bad days when it comes to diet and exercise. I'm taking it a day at a time. I feel good, overall.

I don't know how much longer I'll be staying sober. I want to go clubbing again soon, because I love drumnbass music and don't know how easy it'll be to party sober.
Alice Fellermatch - Mon, 09 Dec 2019 07:11:47 EST 9iV64LRa No.30753 Reply
Dude don't white knuckle it. Really stop that shit.
Nicholas Wiffingdale - Mon, 09 Dec 2019 07:21:31 EST k50yN1ys No.30754 Reply

If the sober clubbing is unsatisfying, try to notice what particular needs of yours you're ttying to meet by doing drugs at the club? Then you can creatively plan ways to meet those needs without doing drugs.
Emma Drundlefuck - Tue, 10 Dec 2019 11:04:04 EST 1lBegxFd No.30756 Reply
It's been 6 months since I got sober and clean from opiates. I feel a lot better without the drugs that were fucking up my life. I take each day at a time and one step at a time. Living the sober life ain't bad at all.
Thomas Handerwill - Wed, 11 Dec 2019 13:01:15 EST PLns4jRM No.30757 Reply
Reading this on 2mg of alprazolam, 6 beers and 0.2mg of buprenorphine feels like I set some unrealistic goals.

Winters are hard. I got about 10 days until my holiday that I'm planning to spend on breaking free.

No idea what could be a good tactic at this point. I'm probably more dependent on the GABA stuff than opioids now, but still need the bupe to feel sane. On some days I can deal with 0.5mg of bupe and a couple beers.

I just renewed my gabapentin prescription, probably I should focus on that during that 2-week-ish holiday during which I don't really need sleep, just comfort...
Phineas Buttinghood - Wed, 11 Dec 2019 15:13:58 EST rEh1EuuT No.30758 Reply
What would happen if you stopped all that?
Alice Cucklekadge - Fri, 13 Dec 2019 03:40:35 EST kYsybGkl No.30761 Reply
I just need a cure for the boredom.
Shit Hendledack - Tue, 17 Dec 2019 13:53:51 EST 2RT0L8Hx No.30767 Reply
Weeks of insomnia, shakes, twitches & aggressive/depressive mood. I've been there before. Basically a dysfynctional and suicidal state that I won't get myself into.

I'm now down to a steady 0.25mg buprenorphine + max 1mg alprazolam + 2-6 beers daily. I'm sure I can kick the bupe, once I get more kratom, and eventually the benzos, if I just rely more on my prescription gabapentin.

3 days until my christmas break. I think the main points are to
  • keep it weird
  • take my opioid dependence very seriously - I got that gabapentin prescription, so I can skip the alprazolam on any given day if I'm willing to give up sleep, but opioid withdrawal (even at such a low bupe dose) is a really unpredictive state for me to be in
Sophie Gimmerhood - Thu, 19 Dec 2019 06:39:58 EST Z+LRw14b No.30770 Reply

You've got to get off that Xanax as soon as you can. Next time you go to the doctor tell him you want to taper and get off it. And stop fucking drinking. Those two things will improve your life in every measurable way.
dr. m - Sat, 21 Dec 2019 03:33:03 EST yrMGfSJi No.30771 Reply
Yeah for real, I have no idea why you're trying to taper the bupe first. The logical progression would be a short booze taper, then medium to long length benzo taper, then do the bupe last.
William Pizzlebine - Tue, 24 Dec 2019 14:15:10 EST S54GmfZn No.30778 Reply
PROTIP: Keep a diary of how much you're using.It can take a few weeks before it really starts helping, but believe me: it can fucking help.

It's been 4 days since I've had a drink. I'll probably have a couple on christmas, then go back to nothing. then have a couple on NYE, then go back to nothing for a couple weeks, before I try to re-introduce booze in non-social situations. Or maybe not. either way, I'm keeping a log of it.
Samuel Winderpock - Wed, 25 Dec 2019 19:46:25 EST bbWo/4A+ No.30780 Reply
Well, i finally hit rock bottom

2 days after I made this post I had a psychotic break (I have bipolar I with psychotic features) where I was incredibly manic and dissociated, I had just done a bunch of ketamine the day before and it doesn't help that I have DP/DR anyway

got that feeling where everything seems fake and pointless and the only logical thing to do was kill myself, I recall not wanting to do that but I thought to myself "let me try a little cut and see if that helps me" and then apparently I found that I liked how it feels because I cut my arms to shit, about 20 on each arm, none very deep but will probably scar

after this I drink about half a fifth of vodka and called my brother to tell him what happened and he called 911 for me, i remember the ambulance coming and basically nothing after that until waking up in a room in the hospital (general population not psych because I was detoxing, but I had 24/7 surveillance)

don't remember the first few days of detoxing, ended up staying in general population for 7 days of detox, and psych for 9. I apparently had such bad DTs that I would just sit straight up and scream, I had multiple seizures including one that made me fall out of the bed and hit my head on the floor, they had to give me so much valium that I basically was blacked out for 72 hours or so, then I remember coming to and realizing I had a valium drip and I first thought "sweet" and then I thought "sweet? what the fuck is wrong with me i almost died, there's no reason I should be alive right now, what have i done"

been sober ever since, almost 2 months at this point
Samuel Winderpock - Wed, 25 Dec 2019 19:47:49 EST bbWo/4A+ No.30781 Reply
had a BAC of .47 incidentally, and every single doctor told me if I hadn't gotten immediate medical intervention there isn't a question I would've died
Phineas Sollyfuck - Wed, 25 Dec 2019 20:59:25 EST S54GmfZn No.30782 Reply
Fuckin Aye, bruve. Glad you're still with us.
Cyril Ponnerwill - Thu, 26 Dec 2019 10:39:38 EST 4Kgw+W6U No.30785 Reply
LMAO fucking heroic, thanks for that. I put both parents in detox this year.
William Siffingbury - Mon, 30 Dec 2019 05:38:54 EST 1Q67Kr5Y No.30789 Reply
I'm down to 5-10mg diazepam daily now. It also helps thart I'm used to dealing with a mini Xanax withdrawal daily, as I was taking it at the same time every day while tapering. Really easy with the aid of gabapentin; you're probably correct that I can probably kick it before bupe.

Also managed to have 48h off bupe. I've never actually been on bupe for a long period before, so I'm surprised about how mild the withdrawals are at 0.25mg.

No bump because I intend to go on a kratom regimen again soon.
Eliza Pockstock - Tue, 31 Dec 2019 19:49:58 EST 1lBegxFd No.30792 Reply
Its been about 7 months since I've been clean and sober from opiates. I have a job now and I'm in therapy as of late. Back in the gym lifting and on a diet as well. Trying to do everything I can to turn my life around even if it's slow progress. So, since its new years I have a clean slate. Its the start of the new decade and I'm going to do all of the right things and keep up with turning my life around and keep thriving and growing as a person. My 30th birthday was last month and I've realized that I got to do all I can to live the right kind of life for myself and be happy and one day be financially stable and comfortable.

Here's to the new year and a new decade! Hope you all achieve your goals and dreams. Work hard and get clean and sober. Getting high and doing drugs only leads to issues and problems and possibly hitting rock bottom. Do the right things for yourself because you are worth it.
Nicholas Fimbledale - Thu, 02 Jan 2020 10:02:56 EST DlKFIQLO No.30796 Reply
Day 13 of cold turkey antipsych discontinuation. Eating is the only thing slightly helping the brain zaps and shit. Each day keeps getting worse, my head is just spinning non fucking stop. At least I'm neet atm and can sleep endlessly. I can't wait for the year long weight loss journey because psych pills make you a fat miserable fuck.

How about instead of a political cycle focused on a bunch of stupid shit we can lynch the doctors and big pharma making this god forsaken shit and pushing it on everyone. I was suicidal before I started but now I'm suicidal, fat, and having health problems. Shit doesn't even fucking work or make you feel better. Heroin is a better alternative, at least you get high. ffs
Nicholas Chacklecocke - Thu, 02 Jan 2020 13:54:55 EST 2jXzXyR7 No.30797 Reply
Heaps of respect. May I ask if you have a relationship and/or a job to hold on to, and if so, what kind? I feel those things are slowing down me kicking drugs, but I'm determined. Awesome if you're content cold turkeying while being neet!

Fucking brain zaps man, more power to ya. Never took antipsychs for an extended period but the brain zaps I'm getting from quitting random downers are such a bummer.

I know the feeling regarding eating. Keep eating man. It really helps with the constant dizzy oversensitive feeling.
Shit Tootworth - Thu, 02 Jan 2020 14:00:23 EST 1lBegxFd No.30798 Reply

I'm currently working at a gym. Trying to get my foot in the door of the fitness industry. I dont get paid much at the moment. But, the long term goals will make it worth it.

I tapered off opiates with suboxone last summer and it's been 7 months post suboxone taper. Dont even think about doing drugs anymore and havent in a while. I'm meditating too which helps a lot. Therapy is going good. Starting to feel better already and not worrying about other shit that's not in my control like I did before.
Nicholas Chacklecocke - Sat, 04 Jan 2020 11:40:43 EST oD2trqYp No.30801 Reply
Great stuff! It's hard to kick bupe when I'm an engineer getting paid to solve problems (which basically boils down to sleeping well and staying sharp), but since I'm dealing with the exact same drug proglem that you dealt with, it's inspiring to read this.

Since you work at a gym, any exercise/nutrition tips to help with tapering? Protein, probiotics, magnesium and iron intake are what I'm focusing on. Not so much into lifting/anaerobics but I'm hiking and stuff, at least when the weather is nice enough.
Alice Nickleway - Thu, 09 Jan 2020 12:34:29 EST 1lBegxFd No.30804 Reply
Yeah it was very hard for me to kick opiates and even stay sober post suboxone taper. But, I got through it and now I'm glad I stuck to my guns and didnt give up on myself. Sometimes I get tempted to get high again. But, I'm just doing whatever I can to keep my mind off that shit.

As far as working out and nutrition goes just find a workout routine and be consistent with training. If you have to go everyday do it so you can keep your mind occupied and maybe you'll take a liking to lifting. Is your goal to lose weight or bulk and gain muscle? With one out of the two goals your nutrition differs between them. Let me know what your goals in the gym are and I can help you further.
no bump - Sat, 25 Jan 2020 14:35:45 EST a2f6n5pm No.30844 Reply
Been 8 days since I had a non-epilectic seizure induced by DXM that kicked off the start of a terrible trip.
Yesterday just talking about the event triggered another minor seizure, and I'm epilectic to top it all off.
I've quit all hard drugs and am waiting for time to heal my damaged brain. Early on was depersonalizing and depressed, but I'm working through it one day at a time.
I'm gonna be a normie who only drinks moderately on special occasions and use cbd to calm my nerves. I meditate when I feel the dread set in. Good luck everyone.
Ian Summerstore - Sat, 08 Feb 2020 11:11:45 EST 1lBegxFd No.30899 Reply
8 months post suboxone taper now. My life is better than it was when I first started tapering off opiates. I'm going to therapy for my issues and problems (not drug related) and I've been dieting for a bit. I started going back to the gym again and I've taken up meditation. I'm doing anything and everything to improve upon my life and myself as a person. This will all pay off in due time. I'm getting out what I put in. I'm making improvements in my life no matter how big or small the improvements may be.

Life goes on after getting clean and staying sober. I'm a lot better off than I use to be that's for sure.
Albert Fuckingville - Mon, 17 Feb 2020 12:38:09 EST TOTfkogX No.30914 Reply
1581961089483.jpg -(188417B / 184.00KB, 1080x1776) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
I havn't done heroin in several years, and am feeling proud of myself today.
Archie Weblinghodge - Fri, 21 Feb 2020 17:00:17 EST T1Ul7kO9 No.30920 Reply
5 weeks now no dxm but this just feels like a T break to me and I know I'm gonna fuck it up. My attention span and cognitive abilities are damaged and I don't know if I'll ever feel normal again
I have been doing a lot better mentally though
Emma Pockcocke - Sat, 07 Mar 2020 16:46:21 EST QkZOVDBx No.30958 Reply
Me again.
I fucked up, and since this thread fell off the first page I'd give it a bump cause I'm sober, technically drinking a beer, but I don't have an alcohol problem.
I actually fucked up the day I posted this and slow dosed half a bottle of robocough over a course of the day.
everything was fine again till I got the same dissociative attack that triggered my hallucination in the first place. Now I get these attacks regularly, not sure if they're a type of seizure or just a panic attack. When I think about self, or the scale of everything or recall unpleasant memories my brain panics.
DXM has had a permanent effect on me to the point where I am disgusted with it. Hope this wears off eventually, but I might never fully regain my sanity.
David Greenfuck - Sun, 08 Mar 2020 14:37:14 EST KOOGPiqI No.30960 Reply
I've not even thought about drinking in two years.
Cedric Cringerfield - Thu, 12 Mar 2020 09:45:18 EST WroR8qXw No.30966 Reply
It's been 9 months since I got clean and sober. I slipped up a bit and was dabbling in opiates again. But, its not a total relapse. I've since stopped slipping up and been good about not giving into temptation since then.

I've been going through a bit of a manic episode over the past 2 months. It got so bad thar I quit my job. But, my old boss told me that when I start to feel better that he will hire me back. After I get my tooth cut out next week I'm going to see if he truly will give me my job back which I hope he does.

Unfortunately my therapist doesn't know what hes doing with me. I stopped seeing him because he was of no help and honestly I dont care. Hes just not the right one for me. I feel like all I can do is get through this manic episode by myself with the support of my mother. After wasting my time with this shit tier therapist I'm never going to seek out therapy again. It's a waste of time and it's not worth it to me at this point. of course if I were black the doctor would put in more of an effort to give me the right type of therapy I need. Fuck black people. Every doctor I've been to in the past couple years have been black and honestly I'd rather see someone of my own color.
Fuck Medgelock - Fri, 13 Mar 2020 09:24:36 EST gueJeLKY No.30967 Reply
nb bc im not sober. i want to commitment to sobriety in the future and to stop getting so high. i'm having difficulty quitting a particular drug. congrats to everyone who does quit!

>I've been going through a bit of a manic episode over the past 2 months. It got so bad that I quit my job. But, my old boss told me that when I start to feel better that he will hire me back.

i had a similar situation when quitting my job a few months ago, and i got rehired by the job that i quit. Hopefully you will be able to return to your job.

I have been doing a lot better mentally though

Thanks for noticing some good aspect of not doing dxm; That's reassuring. I diss about weekly but lately i've just been blacking out for most of it. I wish I had done the combination of dxm and propylhexadrine less times. I'd be more motivated to quit dxm if it's viewed as taking a long T break rather than as becoming soberer.
Phoebe Blallyworth - Sat, 21 Mar 2020 10:39:16 EST 81BJJ1kX No.30990 Reply
I think I'm getting varicose veins in my dick from constantly being hella high on weed which makes my blood start to pool in the lower parts of my body. Because I sit down in a squishy bed most of the day, the lowest part of my body is pretty much my dick and my dick always gets all soft and floppy and the veins always get real big when I smoke weed. Now my dick veins are starting to do that thing where they get all twisty like a slow moving river and it hurts a little. Taking my first T break in over a year now and my dick has finally returned to normal. I had been getting some issues with my gums starting to get infected too which was probably from chronic drymouth.

This is weird, I always thought weed was something you could do as much as you wanted without any bad side effects, but I guess I was wrong. I just hope a T break fixes it.
James Clorrynat - Sat, 21 Mar 2020 15:11:47 EST ksRK+S+l No.30991 Reply
>dick rash
>gum disease
Get your hygiene on point.

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