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pre employment drug test

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- Tue, 26 Jun 2018 17:01:25 EST oU62K+Qd No.29980
File: 1530046885179.jpg -(34516B / 33.71KB, 500x505) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. pre employment drug test
so i'm a lurker here and there, don't really post a lot but i'm super anxious about this upcoming drug test. i could post this anywhere else, but i don't want anyone i know irl to see that i smoke weed.

anyway, i've been clean for well over half a year (was on the job market). never did anything harder than weed, it helps me relax, keeps my migraines at bay, etc... like most people. i started smoking daily about 6 weeks ago because the stress was just that bad. well, my amazing luck had it that a recruiter from a hiring agency found me a very promising lead! i've had at LEAST 10 recruiters in these past 6 months say the same spiel and never contact me again so i honestly didn't expect to even be asked in for an interview.

well, as of yesterday, i had received a job offer. the client? an international bank looking to add people to their information security team. i will be a contracted employee if everything goes through, which at the moment, the only things i have left to submit are my identification forms, and a drug test.

with this company i heard it's either piss or oral testing, but because of the position i feel like it'll be a piss test. i've already made arrangements with a friend to take care of that "what if", who will slip me some fake pee. but... i'm super stressed out now.

i'm not really asking for help (advice is welcomed tho lol) but rather to calm my nerves through talking about it. i've heard these hiring agencies tend to do their drug tests on site and get the results quickly (and not exactly accurately), so i'll hopefully be done with this all in 2 days and know for sure by friday my start date. i really want to just smoke one now and vigorously wash my mouth in the event it is an oral swab....
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Syxx - Wed, 27 Jun 2018 02:13:16 EST uMnuxtDp No.29983 Reply
Gonna be real honest with you. Just take the test any company that in 2018 will not let some weed pass through in your test isn’t worth your time and is stuck in 1961
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Shit Bossleshaw - Wed, 27 Jun 2018 17:58:25 EST oU62K+Qd No.29986 Reply
1530136705108.png -(138389B / 135.15KB, 500x360) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>29983
as much as i'd like to walk away, this is that once in a lifetime opportunity for me that would get me into the cyber security career field/path.

anyway, i found out the bank is actually testing me and not the hiring agency- which makes sense, but i didn't know that was legal? oh well. i'm practicing holding the piss bottle between my legs while going on day 2 of not smoking. i'm choosing to continue abstaining until tomorrow (or maybe even later) just so i can lower my tolerance for when i finally do smoke again. this is pretty torturous ngl, i had a full on panic attack last night and haven't been able to calm myself down. i've worked myself up so much mentally that my body is rejecting me trying to eat, like i'll be able to hold it down and drink fluids no problem, but trying to eat my comfort foods? i can't even get more than a bite out of them. i'm starving and this sucks.
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Betsy Bappernog - Wed, 27 Jun 2018 23:24:46 EST Zy9P6Qor No.29987 Reply
1530156286124.jpg -(95100B / 92.87KB, 800x598) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
>>29986
Went through this a month ago. I could tell you the worrying does nothing to help and that there's no reason to stress, but we both know you're gonna sit here reading about drug tests for hours and hours anyway.

If you have clean piss you're fucking gold. You hear horror stories about synthetic piss being detected, but genuine clean piss can't fail in any way except the temperature test. It needs to be between 92 - 100 degrees when the nurse checks the temperature on the cup. Microwave the piss until it reaches the desired temp, strap a handwarmer on to keep it at temp and gooch that shit. You will not be observed. They will put you in a closed room and you'll have the privacy to simply take out the piss and pour it in the cup.

When you get in the room you'll see how easy it is to pull this off and wonder why you were ever nervous. If it's too hot in the cup then just blow on it a bit to cool it off. If it's too cold, you're fucked, so shoot for a bit too hot rather than risking too cold. Again, you're lucky as a motherfucker to have a source of real clean piss. This will be easy as fuck. Relax
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Samuel Wenderhotch - Thu, 28 Jun 2018 11:56:13 EST PXNpvuxo No.29988 Reply
>>29987
yeah I'm a very paranoid person by nature and ended up dehydrating myself on accident...lol

everything went smoothly. having a bottle with a squirt call helped a lot to make it sound authentic when hitting the cup. my friend who contributed is a 100% clean donor, same sex as myself. in the event this labcrop place does genetic testing i won't be shooting myself in the foot.

now here's my last question, my friend donated to me from her home directly so i turned my cars heat on, upon arriving it tested at 107.8 or close to that range, that shouldn't be hot enough to invalidate the sample, right?
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Betsy Bappernog - Thu, 28 Jun 2018 18:03:37 EST Zy9P6Qor No.29989 Reply
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>>29988
They can't do genetic testing for a drug test. That's insanely illegal. The best they can do is determine that it is human urine and not cat piss or something.

If they didn't reject the sample on the spot then the temperature was not an issue. The cup should have had a thermometer on it which they check to make sure its between 92 - 100 degrees. If it isn't then that's a dead giveaway that you've substituted or tampered with the sample and they'll make you retest immediately without leaving the building.

tl;dr you passed. Congratulations
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Esther Gollygold - Fri, 29 Jun 2018 18:42:29 EST oU62K+Qd No.29990 Reply
>>29989
hell yeah i heard this place only does pre-employment drug testing too (unless suspicion)

just hotboxed the absolute fuck out of my car and i feel GREAT
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Molly Futtingmidge - Sat, 30 Jun 2018 23:31:50 EST a1MfClzk No.30002 Reply
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>>29990
cheers OP, much SLAYER and super chill drug test thread, good work, I sense great things in your professional future

nb
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Martha Girringville - Tue, 03 Jul 2018 05:59:36 EST JuhU2Gpj No.30007 Reply
>>29980
Try this stuff called xxtra clean. You need to already have quit smoking for a while, but it's just a product to dilute your piss, They also have a line of pilss that's apparently supposed to actually detox you and help your body get rid of the weed, but idk hw good that is XXtra clean worked for me after i hadn't been smoking 2 months, and then I got a feint line fail before my actualy probation test. I took the stuff, and passed the actual test later that day.
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Rebecca Fottingsore - Tue, 03 Jul 2018 16:58:55 EST Zy9P6Qor No.30009 Reply
>>30007
Shit won't do literally anything that drinking water wouldn't do. A faint line on a home drug test is a pass. You passed because you were already clean. The overpriced bullshit you drank had no effect.
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Rebecca Bedgemere - Tue, 09 Apr 2019 11:24:29 EST RqsPe8da No.30309 Reply
1554823469124.jpg -(1506175B / 1.44MB, 2048x1536) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
Eat poppy seeds, they clear out any drug-related symptoms because of the Papaver somniferum in it. you can take hard drugs and those will clear it for you.
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Cyril Bardspear - Fri, 12 Apr 2019 02:21:44 EST gPtZreQW No.30313 Reply
>worked for me after i hadn't been smoking 2 months

amazing, only two months
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Albert Hemmerhall - Tue, 30 Apr 2019 16:12:59 EST pfEaumrn No.30339 Reply
I don't feel as if my shit is deserving of its own thread so I'll just post this here.

>Working on becoming a pharmacy technician
>Coworker introduces me to weed, have a good time with him, you know how it goes
>Discover that you can become a trainee technician for like $50 and gain work experience through that
>Local CVS is desperate for any old retard who's qualified so all that shit is lined up
>Smoked and popped some edibles last weekend
>Remembered that, as a fucking pharmacy technician who has access to controlled substances, would be required to take a drug test during the hiring process

I'm such a fucking dumbass. Feels bad that I won't be able to touch the stuff for a while but whatever, I suppose. This is just a possibly temporary career anyway, dunno if I'll stick with it. I knock back water constantly and sweat like a motherfucker not only because I work outside and my area is hot and godless, but also I get night sweats because of my current medication so I weak up drenched nearly everyday of the week. Do you guys reckon it'll still take the full 30 days to get the THC out of my system? I've only been getting high 2-3 times a month, if that.
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Cedric Gaffingnotch - Tue, 30 Apr 2019 16:37:10 EST W6VmNW88 No.30341 Reply
>>30339
>>30340
you have a better shot, day of the test you need to chug down a ton of water (more than usual) and take some B-vitamins so your piss isn't clear. protip: try to capture the middle of your stream in the cup, the beginning and the end are said to have the most shit in it. may just be broscience, but it can't hurt.
if you expect a hair test, look into the "macujo method" i can couch for it. your hair will be shit and brittle but it works. I passed a hair test with only a 3 day heads up. technically two, but they told me to come back the next day because i had hairgel in my hair
i.e i drink about a gallon of water a day, but i slammed back 2 gallons the day before the test with some creatine and about 3 b-vitamin pills
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Charles Clellycocke - Sat, 04 May 2019 20:32:04 EST YBkL47ZV No.30351 Reply
>>30341
Watch out about too much water. It can shut down kidneys or something.
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Jack Blenningford - Sun, 05 May 2019 10:15:05 EST DKxfKlAP No.30355 Reply
>>30351
Also the lack of salt outside your cells will fuck up your osmosis and homeostasis if you really drown yourself. Just start drinking like a liter an hour four hours before the test; the urine should be clear by hour three or so.
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