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Emptiness

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- Sat, 08 Sep 2018 23:19:26 EST xQUWjbqB No.30128
File: 1536463166589.jpg -(717741B / 700.92KB, 3024x4032) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Emptiness
The BIG problem with quitting substances is you're suddenly aware of the time, and everything just feels so hollow and empty. Without booze or opiates, or at least benzos, nothing even feels real. Video games aren't fun, watching TV makes you feel like shit.

You start to realize that old habits you had like eating out were really just excuses for you to get shit-faced with your friends, which covered up some of the guilt of that hangover.

But when I'm totally clean, I just have NOTHING to fill my time. People tell me to get a hobby, but honestly the last thing I want to do when I come home from work is do more work. And that's all hobbies feel like to me.

And now everything just feels like I'm staring at 40-50 years of blank space ahead of me - not even like I have to fight something like I would if I was fucked up, but just a big blank space where I don't know what to do. Days blur into one and I feel lost without getting shitfaced, even though I know now that its just a distraction. Wat do?

tl;dr - How did you guys get past the emptiness, loneliness and boredom of sober life?
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Shit Peggleworth - Sun, 09 Sep 2018 21:48:36 EST GjQtgtw2 No.30130 Reply
The problem is no one knows the answer, none of us would be here if we did. Rehabs and 12-Step Programs wouldnt exist if we did, and im not endorsing those as definite solutions either. Personally i think that drugs, however harmful or beneficial bring awareness to alot of people about the existential conflict of being human. Afterwards it tends to leave an impact, how we can just alter our perceptions of everything, namely ourselves, through chemistry and biology, a line of amphetamine or a beer or 5 hits of acid, or a vape pen hit etc. So what is it outside of ourselves that gives us purpose, everyone who finds an answer for that question that's at least moderately good or healthy seems to turnout alright though in my observations.
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Eliza Bagglelud - Mon, 10 Sep 2018 18:21:24 EST rByY0b28 No.30132 Reply
Sounds like you have lack of dopamine and serotonin, l-dopa and 5htp might help as well as eating well and getting enough sleep
There's no magic cure, for some people it can take years to go back to enjoying life sober
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Albert Bendleridge - Sat, 22 Sep 2018 13:40:55 EST Zi4uslZ+ No.30151 Reply
>>30128
Just because you don't take any substances doesn't mean you are in a sober state of mind. It sounds to me like you haven't moved on emotional from drugs and still pine for them. I would talk to a counsellor or even friends about it. There are likely other underlying issues. It sounds to me like you have replaced drugs with work instead of other things you truly enjoy. You should try and revisit things that made you happy or you found interesting in your youth. Keep yourself open to new opportunities and stay strong. A lot of these feelings are only temporary (relatively speaking) and will pass with time.
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Barnaby Creckledale - Sat, 22 Sep 2018 21:09:51 EST 3ahyEISP No.30152 Reply
>>30128
Wait until keep drinking n such feels hollow and empty. Yea, times of fund will be there now and then. But short lasting. Hobbies, don't have to build a ship in a
bottle. Explore your surroundings. Days blurring into another getting another
drinking, those are lost days. Do something, exciting. Build an audio system.
Explore your surroundings other than from a car. Tune into what others miss.

Don't know. I used to go everywhere, for a time with a bottle as a teen. I was missing something others saw. I was missing basically everything.
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Archie Cronkinfut - Sat, 22 Sep 2018 23:13:22 EST /+dmROW5 No.30155 Reply
1537672402150.jpg -(9648B / 9.42KB, 480x360) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
The first thing that comes to mind is exercise. Working out, hiking, and yoga/qigong feel pretty damn good. The trick is training yourself to love those as much as you loved drugs. It takes a moderate to large amount of discipline whereas substance abuse takes little. But it is so worth it. That is one of the big things that helped during my long stretches of sobriety. (Also meditation, therapy, SMART meetings, listening to and playing music, making art, and SSRIs.)
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Emma Sunkindud - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 13:17:08 EST puVgg1bS No.30156 Reply
it's possible to change your own mentality just by acknowledging there is a problem, understanding why it is, and not wanting it to be any longer.

you got used to drugs. you ignored the satisfaction received from achievement and productivity. you have nothing to look forward to the next day, so you are having trouble learning how to take life slow and relax. not every day has to be popping. just sit back and relax with your friends. if you can't do that then get some online ones on btube or something. being alone in your mind and drugs being all that's on your mind, all you now know, you aren't gonna achieve anything quickly by that. you need people that can relate, have been there, can tell you the upsides, and believe in you too. it makes you believe in yourself, and makes it easier to get over the accumulated shit on your soul.
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Emma Sunkindud - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 13:35:18 EST puVgg1bS No.30159 Reply
also, you're gonna have to start being more open to people's advice. you automatically tell yourself no and you believe it, but your mind is in a broken state. you don't have to get a new hobby right away, that is a later step for when you're better and ready. just remember, your mind doesn't know up from down right now. there's going to be some things you have to accept; about living life the way that is best for an adult. we aren't unique snowflakes, we need the same things out of life to be truly happy. you know you suffer by using drugs to achieve a happiness that includes zero satisfaction. so just stop, and start believing in yourself.
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Emma Sunkindud - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 13:36:19 EST puVgg1bS No.30160 Reply
f you don't have a job, get a job. if you don't have a car, get a car. if you don't have your own place, get your own place. it may SOUND like a drag and like it would not even be a band-aid fix, but having your own stuff, and making your own place nice so that you can have others over and everyone enjoy themselves together, will absolutely make life better.

don't want to just have pure fun all the time. want to be a good person, the one that's in there and should be leading you. there are good people out there to include in your life, and they'll matter more than any drug.
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Emma Sunkindud - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 13:40:39 EST puVgg1bS No.30161 Reply
if you feel your body physically crying out in despair, from the emotions the truth makes you feel, it's not because the truth is incorrect and that you need to ignore it and continue wallowing in confusion. life has its hard moments, that is just a fact. use your logic and continue to sift negativity and cynicism out of your life. 'cause you will get better. if you chase your wants that hard already, just change that want from high to living a life built on satisfaction. it's the best drug.

(muh bad on not in a single post)
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Emma Sunkindud - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 13:44:19 EST puVgg1bS No.30162 Reply
last thing. remember that someone telling you all the answers isn't enough, even if you agree with it all and do want it. you also have to focus on what to give up. there is a revelation waiting to happen in your mind one day. when the flip switches for real, and it isn't you bullshitting yourself, it will stay switched. just accept it and deal with the bad emotions. teach yourself control, one day at a time.
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Eugene Sunkinhurk - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 15:10:30 EST 9UsKXts7 No.30165 Reply
>>30128
I have a car. A nice car in kinda shitty condition but I have the funds to get something new or fix it... I have my own place actually a 2 bedroom with decent space. I have my own job and am self employed.

I've always been the weirdo. The one people don't like. The only person important to me has abandoned me. I'm alone in my sadness. Pot barely curbs it it just let's me sleep and relax a little. It's better than moving on to something harder and I could easily with the people I know but that's a true waste of money. I spend my days sad and sleeping. I hate waking up. I don't want to change because I can't see a reason too. Every time I try to make a friend they hate me. And my soul mate hates me to now. He can't stand being around me. I went from being his partner to harrasser somehow in two weeks.

In the end in alone with my sadness.
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Emma Sunkindud - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 16:29:54 EST puVgg1bS No.30166 Reply
>>30165
there's intelligent and kind people out there. people that recognize your problems and have some of the same, or maybe some even worse. it might feel like they judge you because they can see it on your face that you're judging yourself while talking and listening. I don't know. but you sound like you're intelligent and just been stuck for too long. you've gotta stop judging yourself so harshly, and realize that a lot of it is feeling disadvantaged compared to others, creating instances of hurtful deep thought that distracts you from everything else. it stems from envy and jealousy. if you can let that go, it is a good start.
it's hard for people in your situation to find new people to be around I know, but it's easier when your fear has been subverted and limited. a little anxiety is normal. dwelling on it is a learned response though.

even when things are better and you're getting out there, you'll still have mornings and days where you aren't up for anything. don't expect them to be weeks. allow it to be a normal part of the process.

i'm having to go through wondering if a girl I already had sex with wants to keep hanging out with me, and I don't know how she likes to go about things quite yet. but if I don't predefine anything and refuse to give into paranoia, shoving the bad vibes out of my mind, then i'll at least come out with a loyal friend.
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Emma Sunkindud - Sun, 23 Sep 2018 16:34:03 EST puVgg1bS No.30167 Reply
don't let your past relationships define you either. you can become a new person whenever you want. you don't have to rely only on others. if they didn't work out for you, then consider it that it's you that needed someone else. if they abandon you, it could also mean you weren't going out of your way enough to contact them. I have that problem sometimes anyway. texting her a joke just so the lines of communication are open and she's thinking about me, was a foreign concept just because I am used to overthinking. let your feelings be validated but also know when to (more or less) let them go.
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