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Al-Anon

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- Fri, 01 Mar 2019 01:55:48 EST k5iQMwwM No.30278
File: 1551423348712.jpg -(29880B / 29.18KB, 412x386) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size. Al-Anon
I want to go to an Al-Anon meeting. What's it like?
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Martha Moggleford - Mon, 04 Mar 2019 03:24:54 EST G1aVshVp No.30284 Reply
I have no fucking clue but I am assuming much like AA, which frankly can be a bit cultish, retarded, and useless but I even still go sometimes. I don't really get the concept of totally disconnected and alienated group hug therapy sessions where no one can actually "cross talk" to each other and just sit there telling their hopes and woes. It's basically like, shit dude you can do that with a Catholic priest. So I am assuming Al Anon is pretty much the same kind of thing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BJaKP5S2Wc
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Beatrice Cabblewill - Wed, 06 Mar 2019 22:04:22 EST YoBm8IxQ No.30285 Reply
I'm sure it's a great group for some people. I'm sure it's helped many people get/stay sober. Maybe it can help you, especially since you are open to going and would be receptive. If you want positive notes I'd stop reading here because personally I don't know much about Al-Anon and I don't have good things to say about AA.

I come from a family of heavy drinkers, it killed 1 grandparent and gave the other dementia. My aunt has tried all the groups under the sun like AA and Al-Anon and they usually work for about a month then she's off the wagon again. I myself haven't learned the lesson from seeing it destroy my family but have been trying to go sober on my own, about a week in and boy those first few days were the hardest.

Anyway I tell you all that to explain why I'm trying to go solo despite how every media outlet and website says not to. My big problem with those groups is they take away personal responsibility. in AA you have to give yourself over to a higher power, but what if you don't believe in god? They teach you that it's not your fault and you have no control and that isn't true. Yes it's an addiction which is why it's so terrible and hard to get away from but you still have to put in the time and effort and take accountability. I understand they have the 12 steps and one step is accountability and apologizing to people but it seems to conflict with their higher power shtick tbh. So I don't trust them, and also I've always kept to myself so the idea of a circlejerk talking about our problems to people you don't even know doesn't appeal to me.

but if you want options, they are out there. There are groups that focus on the science, medicine if necessary, and psychology behind drinking like SMART-Recovery (and a few others i think). And if you don't want to give up alcohol altogether but try to learn how to be healthier about it there are groups for that kind of moderation too. It's all just a google search away.
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Basil Collerdock - Sun, 10 Mar 2019 15:07:26 EST 5axECasJ No.30289 Reply
>>30278
>tl:dr it's a lot of drunks dealing with the fact they can't drink anymore. Sometimes it's helpful, sometimes you feel dumb for going

I went to AA for a few months not too long ago. The meeting I went to wasn't for me, but my time there definitely helped me change my ways of thinking about my relationship with alcohol. The big book is also a decent read, if not outdated.

The meetings I attended weren't an "open forum". Someone at the start of the meeting would read a passage from the big book or some other piece of AA writing, and that served as a talking point. Sometimes the group would stay on it, sometimes they wouldn't. Two prayers a meeting, no one cares if you "mean it" or not. I went to a meeting that had a lot of older people, I was by far the youngest at 30. A lot of them have been sober for decades and they had a lot of wisdom to share. On the other hand, sometimes meetings became them talking about how lucky they are because they have grandchildren.

If you do end up going, just keep your mind open to what they have to say. Most people recommend 30 meetings in 30 days, but usually in a week or two you'll know if it's for you. If it's not something you're in to, then don't go back, there are other ways to get sober. It definitely helped me figure out my issues with alcohol, maybe it will for you too.
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Fuck Billerville - Thu, 14 Mar 2019 19:06:46 EST DKxfKlAP No.30291 Reply
>>30284 and >>30285 hold opinions I probably share.

I was commanded to a few when I was maybe 19 for a BS DUI charge (the only thing in my system was THC metabolite). Seeing as how you want to check one out, here's what I'll say: It's a nice big group of people who are friendly and supportive. If you think you can vibe with that, then go try it out for sure at worst nothing lost. I'll also say that I was anything but eager to go to these meetings purely because of who I was at that age (read: stubborn and misanthropic). As far as what I took away from the experiences? I basically concluded my preconceived ideas about the meetings were spot on. They came off culty and quite frankly sacrilegious. Know that if you want to follow their path to health you need to completely give your life to god, whatever that means to the cult.

Speaking person-to-person though, I'd recommend you spend time with family or friends, or just anyone you can honestly talk to about the stuff that's on your mind. The healing component of humanity is sympathy; empathy when we show genuine care and concern for each other. Best of luck to you regardless mate!
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Emma Dramblekedging - Thu, 21 Mar 2019 22:29:58 EST 2yMy8kzO No.30297 Reply
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I've been to other 12 step groups. They are helpful for some. There are problems. They haven't changed a fucking thing in 90 years despite the mountains of research that has come out. They say there are no rules only suggestions, except there are actually lots of rules. If you don't follow all of them then you are incapable of being honest with yourself and there's no hope for you. There's also a very pervasive idea that 12 step is the only way to get sober. Most of them don't trust medical perspectives unless they are 12 step based. There are some pretty key things that you have to accept on faith but it's totally not a religion somehow.

Yeah, I tried that shit for a few years. The mental gymnastics were exhausting. What works for me is weekly therapy, meditation, and CBT and ACT based groups. Mindfulness is huge because it helps me see my brain constructing my awareness. I see the patterns that I've been operating in clearly and that makes it so much easier to break out of them.
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Fuck Gattinglodge - Sun, 24 Mar 2019 23:03:53 EST uwEy0LsP No.30298 Reply
>>30297
The first meetings, the big book was mere pages, guidelines to live life without drinking. Then through the years it got bigger. It's stupid in my opinion. Being
not an alcoholic is unattainable. Imagine saying after being offered a drink,
no I am an alcoholic. Your nothing but an alcoholic. That is attempted to be drilled into your head. Cult-like. I have said, naw, if I have a couple of drinks
I feel like keeping drinking if I do, not no I am an alcoholic. Like rock bottom
is a common catch phrase, it's like saying 'you are rock bottom' your entire life.

Many people have not drank for years, but they are just scumbags. Saying they are alcoholics seems to be an excuse for their not moving forward. Maybe they get a job, whatever, but same people. Some in meetings claim they finished
whatever 2nd 3rd step, only to be bombarded by people with no ambitions in life,
basic losers. No you didn't. People with no perception telling somebody striving forward being told they cannot move forward, saying, you have to start over. OK, start drinking again then. So an hour meeting 20 minutes raking on some guy with some positive direction being beaten down to others level who are berating him. I explained this as a juvie who was railroaded by the system, was expected 2, 3 meetings a week. I explained how this works and wasn't expected to attend meetings after. Compelling explaining that you seek more out of my life other than self-labeling myself as an alcoholic. As in constantly failing myself. The little trinkets, yea whatever. A new AA NA to a lesser extent needs to be reformed,
refined to reflect success of the individual. The saying, if you have one foot in yesterday and one in tomorrow , you are pissing on today. As in on day at a time. One has to look to the past to see a possible future. Like this, Im not going to drink today, how about, I like I am not going to drink for a week, until
such or such events. Until I get an advancement in the company. Not this your are stuck in nowhere.
So why the prizes of have not drank for 30 days. I have met street scumbags I knew, no offence to anybody, but cult like, they show their sober for 90 days etc. I lived in the city, the scientology street book sales people.

I have heard find a meeting you like, keep looking. Things may be different than the chain smokers and coffee jittery delusional mentalities. I don't think total abstinence is a solution, if so then quitting smoking should be part of the equation. Drinking 3 cups of coffee before a meeting, doesn't make sense, let alone,

Oh well, it works if you work it, just don't look for a supportive other, other than your sponsor that you can call at 3 am. Don't seek a future, because you cannot handle a new job, seek higher employment, handle a relationship. You are helpless. People interpret the big book and AA in any way that breaks people down. But doesn't really seek to bring them back up.
,,
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adolph hadituptohere - Thu, 28 Mar 2019 04:31:29 EST ZASTjFXm No.30299 Reply
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>>30298 I can't help thinking you got it all wrong I'm 29 years clean and have never ever declined a drink saying "no, I am an alcoholic". I just say I don't drink. Got a job 28 years ago and never have I told anybody I'm an alcoholic/addict, It's an anonymous program after all. Yes I did the steps but took 12, maybe 15 years to do them all, going to regular meeting is what's important. It's not particularly about coffee or tobacco just drugs that change your consciousness to the extent you go to any lengths to get them and they are on your mind all the time. All your friends are using some form of dope.
It's not a cult in my opinion, just a form of spirituality albeit an American one that works for drug addiction if you want to do it and initially it is not easy. If I needed my lawn mowed and asked a newcomer to do it they wouldn't do it. Yet if the Dali Lama asked a follower to do same or the late Jim Jones or David Miscavige of Scientology I am sure that lawn would be mowed...hundreds would volunteer! I'm sure Buddhism works just as well and it's an eight fold path not a 12 step approach but you have to decide to do it and that's the problem with most people, the decision to 'do it'.
The largest number of NA meeting these days is in Iran not the USA just by the by.. Of course there are other methods to stop drinking or using dope however I think AA and NA are the easiest and one gets to regularly see addicts who have overcome the compulsion which is why it is urged newcomers do lots of meetings, that's hope, the first step, that you can do it too. AND, you don't get a medical record outlining what you are on and all the medical fuck up's trying to clean up.
I'd tell you more about myself but you may not be interested. Good luck nonetheless.
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David Medgespear - Mon, 01 Apr 2019 18:30:54 EST cQotqwDz No.30301 Reply
>>30299
> It's an anonymous program after all.

Well, surely probation, courts like to see that you are aattending meetings. So they want proof. Aside, there can be spies. Not being paranoid, or delusional. But like cops taking down license plates at political rallies. Same principle. I went to DUI classes some time back and person would be writing down notes when certain people talk. Where the policy was that anything said was confidential. When certain people spoke, the scribbling would begin. I am sure AA has gotten more sane over the years. But, I believe one can transform AA into another fasion to keep level. As in, not fully relying on it for life. But put the understandings in any direction one want's to go.

But whatever. I know alcohol, like other drugs can be surely a burden. Even devastating.
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Cyril Bardspear - Fri, 12 Apr 2019 02:36:45 EST gPtZreQW No.30314 Reply
>>30299
>I can't help thinking you got it all wrong I'm 29 years clean and
>have never ever declined a drink saying "no, I am an alcoholic".
>I just say I don't drink.

Well, things may be different but back when, that was the norm. I can't drink, I am an alcoholic. If one would say they claim otherwise, like I don't drink, they were deemed to be lying to themselves by not saying they are alcoholics/addicts on the spot if the issue arises. Kind of like a scarlet letter if you will. Embroidered onto themselves, by the shame/mistakes of the past.

Now drinking continuously, with problems because of, surely one is likely an alcoholic. But not drinking, surely one can be anything they want, without judging themselves as a non-drinking but lifetime alcoholic.

Eh whatever,

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